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1
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:11,070
I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a time
2
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,406
Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation
3
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:17,743
I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:21,080
Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighbor
5
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:24,208
I'm heading out to south park
to see if i cant unwind
6
00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:27,545
I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat titties
7
00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:30,880
So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mine
8
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,120
Episode 10x07
"Tsst"
9
00:00:34,552 --> 00:00:38,094
Mrs. Cartman, we have had it
with your son's behavior, mkay?!
10
00:00:38,135 --> 00:00:41,552
Little Billy Turner is now
being treated at the hospital!
11
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,492
Eric, why would you do such a thing?
12
00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:48,253
I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's
ankle to the school flagpole.
13
00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:49,897
You know that's not the point!
14
00:00:49,927 --> 00:00:52,970
Okay, I'm sorry I handcuffed
Billy Turner's ankle to a flagpole
15
00:00:52,971 --> 00:00:55,848
and then gave him a hacksaw.
And then told him I had poisoned his lunch milk
16
00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:58,669
and that the only way he could get to the
antidote in time would be to saw through his leg.
17
00:00:58,697 --> 00:01:02,011
That's very naughty, Eric.
- Well he called me chubby!
18
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:05,817
We have tried at this school to make Eric
understand that there are boundaries, mkay?!
19
00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:09,565
But frankly, we believe his
behavioral problems start at home!
20
00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:12,564
I know.
I know he's out of control.
21
00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:15,215
But... you don't know what it's like.
22
00:01:18,439 --> 00:01:23,217
I'm sorry. It's just that...
he seems to get worse every day.
23
00:01:23,745 --> 00:01:26,675
He just never listens.
24
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,328
Well nice goin', asshole!
You made my mom cry!
25
00:01:32,481 --> 00:01:35,370
It's not him, it's you, Eric.
26
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,863
I don't know what to do with you.
27
00:01:37,901 --> 00:01:40,293
Sure you do.
You're a great mom.
28
00:01:40,318 --> 00:01:43,498
Who's got the greatest mom in the world?
I do.
29
00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:46,945
My mom is number one in my heart.
It's true!
30
00:01:47,028 --> 00:01:49,709
My mom's the best mom,
better than your mom.
31
00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:52,696
It's singing together in harmony.
32
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,612
Mrs. Cartman,
I know this is extremely difficult
33
00:01:55,654 --> 00:01:58,534
but there is help out there for people like you.
34
00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:03,103
Have you ever heard of a show called Nanny 911?
35
00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:08,796
They're every parent's worst nightmare.
36
00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:10,908
Shut up!
I hate you! I hate you!
37
00:02:10,949 --> 00:02:13,227
Kids completely out of control.
38
00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:15,651
Look, I'm skating, I'm skating!
39
00:02:15,929 --> 00:02:18,665
It's time to call Nanny 911.
40
00:02:20,630 --> 00:02:25,019
We've gathered a team of world-class
nannies to help families in crisis.
41
00:02:26,831 --> 00:02:29,803
Parents of America, help is on the way!
42
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,952
Tonight...
- Mom, I need another energy drink!
43
00:02:33,966 --> 00:02:37,286
This eight year old son of
a single parent just won't behave.
44
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,902
Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!
45
00:02:39,944 --> 00:02:43,513
And Nanny Stella is selected
to set him straight.
46
00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:49,834
It's time for Nanny Stella to show Eric Cartman
his ways are not going to be tolerated anymore!
47
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,858
Mom, are you deaf?!
Somebody's at the door!
48
00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,789
Yes. I think it's the nanny, boopsiekins.
49
00:03:01,053 --> 00:03:03,180
Killer. I'm gonna be on TV now.
50
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,819
Hello.
I'm Nanny Stella.
51
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,203
Oh, thank you so much for coming.
Please come in.
52
00:03:09,748 --> 00:03:11,748
And you must be Eric.
53
00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:14,512
Mom, I want a Twinkie.
- All, all right dear.
54
00:03:14,609 --> 00:03:18,920
Hold on, Mrs. Cartman. There are going to be
some rule changes around here, Eric.
55
00:03:18,976 --> 00:03:22,420
First of all, no video games
until chores are done.
56
00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:24,976
Hah! Hahahaha!
57
00:03:25,143 --> 00:03:28,615
I'm serious. Let's put down the video game
and go to the kitchen.
58
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,532
No thanks, I'd rather naught.
59
00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:32,811
Right. Then I'm going to have to take it.
60
00:03:33,508 --> 00:03:35,675
The hell do you think you're doing?
- Come on.
61
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:40,609
This video game is going right here on
the counter until we've done some chores.
62
00:03:40,817 --> 00:03:43,804
Now, first thing we're going
to do is make your bed.
63
00:03:44,998 --> 00:03:47,345
Eric, no!
This is not acceptable!
64
00:03:47,581 --> 00:03:49,745
Stop trying to bogart my X-Box, you fat bitch!
65
00:03:49,989 --> 00:03:52,961
All right, that's it!
You're going to time-out!
66
00:03:53,392 --> 00:03:54,110
Time out?
67
00:03:54,253 --> 00:03:58,739
Whenever you are naughty, Eric, you are
going to sit on this stool for five minutes.
68
00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:02,437
And what exactly keeps me on the stool?
69
00:04:02,757 --> 00:04:06,312
It's the time-out stool.
You can't get down until the time is up.
70
00:04:08,668 --> 00:04:10,626
Whoa, how did I do that?
71
00:04:13,048 --> 00:04:15,229
Eric, you have to stay in time-out!
72
00:04:15,479 --> 00:04:16,812
Ummm, no?
73
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,937
Come on, you don't have a choice.
74
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:21,388
All right, seriously,
you're starting to piss me off now.
75
00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:24,582
Eric, you need to listen to me.
This is very important.
76
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:28,959
I am getting down to eye level with Eric
so that I can talk to him on his level.
77
00:04:29,056 --> 00:04:32,973
Eric, you need to understand why
you are being punished. All right?
78
00:04:33,126 --> 00:04:34,931
I'm just gonna get down as soon as you move.
79
00:04:34,973 --> 00:04:38,014
Well then, I'll just have to stand right here!
80
00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:40,459
Oh!
81
00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:43,239
He spit in my mouth!
82
00:04:43,336 --> 00:04:45,836
Yeah, it's best to avoid his level.
83
00:04:46,114 --> 00:04:50,702
All right! I've dealt with this before!
We just need to use psychology on him!
84
00:04:50,994 --> 00:04:55,549
Don't stop believing.
Hold on to that feeling.
85
00:04:55,577 --> 00:04:58,646
Eric, can I just talk
to you for a quick second?
86
00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:02,914
Why are you so angry?
- Because you took my X-Box.
87
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:05,191
Is this about more than your video game?
88
00:05:05,247 --> 00:05:09,139
Are you feeling angry at me because
you think I'm here to change your life?
89
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,445
Well, yeah.
90
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:15,598
And you're feeling like I have no right
to come in and tell you how to live.
91
00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,590
Yeah. I guess so.
92
00:05:17,798 --> 00:05:21,743
See this? You have to take the time to talk
to your children about their feelings.
93
00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:23,964
What else are you feeling, Eric?
94
00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:28,765
Well, I'm feeling confused, because I don't
understand why you became a nanny.
95
00:05:29,335 --> 00:05:33,307
Me?
Well, it's because I love children, like you.
96
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:37,765
Right, but... if you love children so much,
how come you're not a mommy?
97
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,414
Oh, I just never had kids.
- Why not?
98
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:44,402
It... just... didn't happen.
99
00:05:45,009 --> 00:05:46,884
You're sterile, is that it?
100
00:05:47,426 --> 00:05:49,631
No, that's too convenient of an excuse.
101
00:05:49,658 --> 00:05:53,159
The truth is, nobody ever wanted
to have babies with you. Isn't that it?
102
00:05:53,423 --> 00:05:55,549
Always the mom's maid and never the mom?
103
00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:58,549
Must be hard on you,
knowing that the years are ticking away.
104
00:05:58,581 --> 00:06:02,161
Your friends all getting married and all the
while your uterus is slowly shriveling away.
105
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:04,978
Drying up, becoming totally worthless.
106
00:06:05,214 --> 00:06:10,384
Why you, you... you little bastard!
How dare you?!
107
00:06:10,509 --> 00:06:13,345
Eric, naughty.
- What kind of monster would-
108
00:06:13,346 --> 00:06:16,217
Yes, let the anger come!
Strike me down while you can!
109
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,560
But it won't make your
dried-up ovaries any more fertile!
110
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,679
That's it!
I'm not doing this!
111
00:06:20,706 --> 00:06:22,453
Oh, but we really need some help.
112
00:06:22,473 --> 00:06:26,035
Find yourself another nanny... televison show!
113
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,598
Coming up next, it's Super Nanny!
114
00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:32,643
Where other nannies fail,
Nanny Jo comes through.
115
00:06:43,393 --> 00:06:46,337
This child's behavior is totally unacceptable!
116
00:06:48,786 --> 00:06:51,425
But there's no trial
too tough for Super Nanny!
117
00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:55,148
In just three days' time you're
going to see a new Eric Cartman.
118
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,016
Three Days Later
119
00:06:58,144 --> 00:07:00,144
Slater-Carey Mental Hospital
120
00:07:00,646 --> 00:07:04,092
I'm afraid Super Nanny is in
a deep state of mental psychosis.
121
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,259
What do you mean?
122
00:07:05,287 --> 00:07:09,342
I mean, she spends most of her time
sobbing and eating her own excrement.
123
00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:17,159
From heeell!
It's from heeell!
124
00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:22,825
Oh dear. I don't know what else to do
about my son's behavioral problems.
125
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:26,186
We've been through every
nanny reality show on television.
126
00:07:26,575 --> 00:07:29,798
Wull there... is...
one more show you could still try.
127
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,100
Dog Whisperer
128
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,323
When good dogs go bad,
there's one man who's their best friend.
129
00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:37,878
Cesar Millan.
130
00:07:38,549 --> 00:07:40,771
No dog is too much for me to handle.
131
00:07:40,785 --> 00:07:43,590
I rehabilitate dogs,
I train people.
132
00:07:43,701 --> 00:07:46,202
I am the dog wheesperer.
133
00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:51,195
Please, come in.
134
00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:54,264
So tell me what are the problems
you are having with the child?
135
00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:56,533
Well, he's just... out of control.
136
00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:59,618
I mean, he never listens to me
and he pretty much runs my life.
137
00:07:59,632 --> 00:08:03,146
So the child needs to learn that he's not
the most important person in the house.
138
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,549
You can stop talkin' behind my back,
I'm right here, fruitcake.
139
00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:08,242
See I'm not looking at the child,
I'm not acknowledging the child.
140
00:08:08,243 --> 00:08:10,282
I'm just letting the child know
I'm not interested in him.
141
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,605
Not interested im me?
142
00:08:11,661 --> 00:08:14,952
See the child thinks your world
revolves around him, because it does.
143
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,504
Because everything he does
gets a response from you.
144
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,882
Yeah, well I don't see why-
145
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:19,513
Hey!
146
00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:21,087
Don't look at the child,
just keep looking at me.
147
00:08:21,117 --> 00:08:23,047
Let, let him know we
are having a conversation.
148
00:08:23,075 --> 00:08:24,078
Mom, this guy doesn't-
149
00:08:24,217 --> 00:08:26,262
Ah! Quit it!
- What what is it that you're doing?
150
00:08:26,318 --> 00:08:28,899
Dogs show their dominance
by nipping each other on the neck
151
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,622
but it works equally well on a child.
152
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,270
I just use two fingers, nip at
the child's neck, doesn't hurt the child
153
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,654
just let him know I am dominant.
154
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:37,017
Look, Mexican,
if you really think that you can-
155
00:08:37,073 --> 00:08:38,059
Knock it off!
156
00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:42,873
See, I'm not validating his bad behavior
with either negative or positive response.
157
00:08:42,901 --> 00:08:44,512
Oh, that's very interesting.
158
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:47,416
I think the first thing we need to work
on is getting the child some exercise.
159
00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:48,883
He's fat and he has all
this pent-up energy that-
160
00:08:48,884 --> 00:08:51,046
I'm not fat!
- We need to let him burn off.
161
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,894
Do you take walks with your son?
- Well, no, I don't.
162
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,167
Go on, take your son for a walk.
163
00:08:57,764 --> 00:08:59,996
Ey! You think this is funny,
you sonofabitch?
164
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,788
Once again,
I am the one going for a walk.
165
00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:04,343
It's about me,
the child is lucky to come along.
166
00:09:04,385 --> 00:09:05,996
Mom, this is degrading!
167
00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:08,760
Agh! Goddamnit! Aaarrgh!
168
00:09:10,234 --> 00:09:13,516
Don't look at him, just look straight ahead
and he'll run out of evergy soon.
169
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:27,595
Maaaa. Mommm.
Mommm.
170
00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:29,998
Here, why don't you try it now.
Take your son.
171
00:09:30,081 --> 00:09:32,217
Mom, seriously, people are seeing me!
172
00:09:32,258 --> 00:09:35,064
Good. Just keep your confidence,
shoulders back, eyes straight ahead.
173
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:36,827
The child can pick up on that confidence
174
00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:38,967
learning he's supposed to follow you,
not lead you.
175
00:09:39,022 --> 00:09:42,022
Mom, don't you love me?
Can't you see I'm unhappy right now?
176
00:09:42,823 --> 00:09:43,434
Mom!
177
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,656
Good, Ms. Cartman.
Very good!
178
00:09:46,785 --> 00:09:49,507
And now, back to the Dog Whispererrrrr.
179
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,854
It is important to understand
that dogs run in packs.
180
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:58,145
And one dog is always dominant,
the pack leader.
181
00:09:58,228 --> 00:09:59,810
God damnit, stop ignoring me!
182
00:09:59,811 --> 00:10:03,990
You must assert yourself as
pack leader with dominant energy.
183
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:04,894
Ah allright.
184
00:10:04,977 --> 00:10:08,310
This is abuse!
I am a child, and I am entitled to attention!
185
00:10:09,088 --> 00:10:10,021
Quit it, mom!
186
00:10:10,271 --> 00:10:12,368
It doesn't seem to work as well when I do it.
187
00:10:12,424 --> 00:10:15,591
Okay, let me show you how
to express the dominant energy.
188
00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:19,466
What I have done is I have brought
over some Kentucky Fried Chicken.
189
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:20,901
Ooo, Colonel?
190
00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:24,151
I am going to eat first,
because that is what the pack leader does.
191
00:10:24,178 --> 00:10:26,373
Give, give me the chicken.
Give me some chicken.
192
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,866
Eh, what are you doing?
I want chicken!
193
00:10:28,908 --> 00:10:30,103
Give me some Goddamned chicken!
194
00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:34,298
I am not going to acknowledge the child's
attempt at aggressive dominant behavior.
195
00:10:34,325 --> 00:10:35,833
Now you eat the chicken.
196
00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,360
Mom, gimme, give me some chicken.
I want some chicken, Mom!
197
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,541
We won't reward him until he's
in a calm submissive behavior.
198
00:10:41,652 --> 00:10:43,485
Goddamnit, I am not a dog!
199
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,486
Give me the chicken. Give, give, give me
the chicken. I want the chicken! Chicken!
200
00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:51,292
We need him to become relaxed and submissive.
201
00:10:52,264 --> 00:10:55,676
Okay, I'm fine. I'm cool now.
May I have some chicken please?
202
00:10:55,745 --> 00:10:57,426
Oh, very good, sweetie.
203
00:10:57,453 --> 00:11:01,231
Oh no, now he's lying. You can tell from
his stance he's still aggressive-dominant.
204
00:11:01,314 --> 00:11:04,217
Suck my asshole, taco vendor!
- See?
205
00:11:04,314 --> 00:11:08,132
Goddamnit, you can't stand here and eat
KFC in front of me! Now hand it over!
206
00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:09,450
You can't do that to me, I-
207
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,493
Goddamnit, you just can't-
208
00:11:10,619 --> 00:11:12,724
Seriously!
Ey? Eh...
209
00:11:15,651 --> 00:11:18,470
I am not being aggressive,
I am being dominant.
210
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,415
Wow, I have a lot to learn.
211
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,767
Mom, I am serious!
This has gone on long enough!
212
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,211
Get that guy out of here
and give me a piece of chicken!
213
00:11:27,864 --> 00:11:29,705
That's how you want it, bitch?!
Fine!
214
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:32,624
I hate you!
I'm running away!
215
00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:34,724
Oh, dear.
216
00:11:34,738 --> 00:11:36,863
It's okay, this is all part
of the domance struggle.
217
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,835
But what if he does run away.
- Let him go. He'll be back.
218
00:11:39,877 --> 00:11:43,116
This a good opportunity for you to relax
and enjoy your favorite hobby.
219
00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,477
Oh boy, Park Avenue!
I'm rich!
220
00:11:49,352 --> 00:11:51,625
Hey guys, I've got some pretty big news.
221
00:11:53,042 --> 00:11:54,306
I ran away from home.
222
00:11:55,570 --> 00:11:58,773
Yeah, my mom just... doesn't care
about me anymore, so I moved out.
223
00:11:59,195 --> 00:12:02,374
She didn't even try to stop me.
It's gonna be tough livin' on my own.
224
00:12:02,632 --> 00:12:04,187
But I'll get by, somehow.
225
00:12:04,408 --> 00:12:05,798
You can't stay here.
226
00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:07,854
Maybe you didn't hear me!
I ran away!
227
00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:09,975
I don't have anywhere to sleep!
I'm out on the street!
228
00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:11,683
You're not staying at my house either.
229
00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:14,684
All right, that's fine!
Butters, I'll crash with you.
230
00:12:14,794 --> 00:12:17,350
No, my parents won't let me bring
homeless people home anymore.
231
00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:20,718
Well what do you guys expect me to do?!
Stay at Kenny's house?!
232
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,148
His family's totally poor.
I'm not staying with poor people!
233
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,371
All right, I'll stay with Kenny.
Let's go, man.
234
00:12:27,787 --> 00:12:28,829
Fuck you.
235
00:12:29,384 --> 00:12:33,102
Och! Well, I guess now we see
just how supportive friends can be!
236
00:12:33,425 --> 00:12:35,341
When the chips are down
you won't even lend a hand!
237
00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:37,036
I'll just go sleep on the street somewhere!
238
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:40,661
Out in the cold! Probably get mugged
and gang-raped by some minorities!
239
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,292
You guys'll be sorry when I turn up dead!
240
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,949
Whoopie! G and R Railroad!
241
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:53,485
Hey Jimmy. You're not gonna believe
this, but... I ran away from home.
242
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:56,999
I just... I really need the support
of my best friend right now.
243
00:12:58,587 --> 00:12:59,879
Who is your best friend?
244
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:02,504
You are, Jimmy!
We've always been best friends.
245
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,004
We know everything about each other.
246
00:13:05,663 --> 00:13:07,594
What's my last name?
247
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,247
Goddamnit!
248
00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:15,672
Craig, dude, I ran away from home.
249
00:13:15,936 --> 00:13:19,144
You're the first person I came to.
I knew you'd take me in off the streets.
250
00:13:20,414 --> 00:13:21,484
But I hate you.
251
00:13:23,081 --> 00:13:24,900
Should that really matter at a time like this?
252
00:13:28,806 --> 00:13:33,514
This is bullcrap!
Mom'll break soon. I can outlast her.
253
00:13:37,821 --> 00:13:39,029
All right, I'm back.
254
00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:41,962
Oh Eric, I'm so happy you're home.
255
00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,960
Yes, well, hopefully you've
learned your lesson!
256
00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:46,436
I've come back, but there's going
to be some changes around here.
257
00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:49,602
Look what I did, Eric.
I learned how to make Sumie paintings.
258
00:13:49,644 --> 00:13:51,764
I had almost forgotten how artistic I was.
259
00:13:51,824 --> 00:13:53,186
That's super-interesting.
260
00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:55,897
But I've been out living in
the streets for almost four hours!
261
00:13:55,924 --> 00:13:57,202
Make me something to eat.
262
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,341
Cesar...
- How is the painting going?
263
00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:00,563
Aw, Goddamnit!
264
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:03,258
Oh look it came back.
- Yup, just like you said he would.
265
00:14:03,327 --> 00:14:04,635
What is he still doing here?!
266
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,191
He said he's hungry. What should I do?
- Well let's feed it.
267
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:13,079
What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken,
boiled vegetables and salad?!
268
00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:14,690
This is just like Auschwitz!
269
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:18,078
This is more aggressive-dominant behavior.
Don't nurture it.
270
00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:20,453
Oh my God.
Bite-size Snickers?
271
00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:23,272
That's it.
I'm calling child-protective services!
272
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,272
Come on, Ms. Cartman,
you must become pack leader.
273
00:14:27,286 --> 00:14:28,217
What do you do?
274
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:30,152
Eric, if you don't want to eat then
275
00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:32,125
why don't you go brush your teeth
and go to bed?!
276
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,555
Nooo, you're asking him a favor.
Don't ask a favor, dominate!
277
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:38,141
Mom, I want this guy out of here!
You got it?
278
00:14:38,239 --> 00:14:41,877
If he's not gone, in two minutes,
I will call social services on you!
279
00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:46,025
You project the dominant energy
and he will pick up on it. I promise.
280
00:14:46,336 --> 00:14:49,733
Shoulder back, head high,
don't reason with it
281
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:52,707
don't argue with it, just dominate it.
282
00:14:52,776 --> 00:14:55,119
I am your son
and you will listen to me!
283
00:14:55,171 --> 00:14:56,410
You have no right to-
284
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,396
Mon, know it off!
I'm not gonna stand for th-
285
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:00,243
Seriously! Mom-
286
00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:02,235
Why are you... doing this?
287
00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:04,699
Mom?!
Mom? Mom...
288
00:15:06,423 --> 00:15:07,490
I did it!
289
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:13,024
You see?
You're calm, assertive and in control.
290
00:15:17,892 --> 00:15:19,698
Oh... Oh my gosh!
291
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,310
See?
This is the behavior we've been looking for.
292
00:15:22,336 --> 00:15:24,496
This is a relaxed, submissive state.
293
00:15:24,777 --> 00:15:26,485
He's never done this before.
294
00:15:26,513 --> 00:15:29,593
Good. Now you can reward
the behavior with praise and attention.
295
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:33,288
I love you very much, poopsiekins.
You're Mommy's sunshine.
296
00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:36,232
Now you can give him a snack.
297
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,706
Good, this is reeally good.
Now try a command.
298
00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:44,650
Eric, I want you to go upstairs
and brush your teeth.
299
00:15:44,651 --> 00:15:47,670
Then I'll be up to read you a story before bed.
300
00:15:54,722 --> 00:15:56,923
Oh my goodness.
I can't believe it.
301
00:15:56,979 --> 00:16:01,437
This is a great first step, but you're
gonna have to stay firm and confident.
302
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,423
You are the pack leader now.
- I am the pack leader!
303
00:16:04,617 --> 00:16:08,159
Now before you go read your son his story
let's go enjoy a nice quiet cup of tea.
304
00:16:08,187 --> 00:16:09,867
Sounds divine!
305
00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:12,909
Who does she think telling
me to go brush my teeth?!
306
00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:22,400
Jesus. What's happening to me?
307
00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:28,643
So, how is your son doing, Ms. Cartman?
308
00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:30,406
Oh, he's been amazing, Cesar.
309
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:33,742
He got an A on his last spelling test
and a B+ in history.
310
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,094
He's losing weight
and he's doing what I tell him.
311
00:16:36,099 --> 00:16:36,960
Thats great!
312
00:16:37,168 --> 00:16:39,890
The best part is I'm not letting
him boss me around anymore.
313
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:41,246
I could have never come out
314
00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:44,400
and have a nice lunch on a Saturday
afternoon with a friend before.
315
00:16:44,622 --> 00:16:48,487
Good, Ms. Cartman, sounds like you're treating
your son like a son and not like a friend.
316
00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:52,700
There's just one problem,
he still fights me every step of the way.
317
00:16:52,769 --> 00:16:54,907
I feel like he's doing what I tell him
318
00:16:54,908 --> 00:16:58,668
but that inside he's still
the same angry spoiled child.
319
00:16:58,669 --> 00:16:59,429
Don't worry.
320
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:03,751
When you correct the behavior, eventually you
will see a change in the personality.
321
00:17:03,938 --> 00:17:07,008
Oh Cesar, I'm so happy to have you in my life.
322
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,247
Guys, listen up.
I really need your help this time.
323
00:17:14,747 --> 00:17:17,852
I've thought about it a lot
and I've decided I have to kill my mom.
324
00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:19,703
Kill your mom?
325
00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:23,189
She doesn't let me wear whatever I want anymore.
Things have really gotten out of hand!
326
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,910
My mom must die so I can have a place to live,
but without her trying to run my life.
327
00:17:27,049 --> 00:17:29,035
She's like Hitler with all
the demands she makes.
328
00:17:29,312 --> 00:17:32,504
Dude, have you lost more weight?
- Yes! I've lost almost ten pounds now.
329
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:36,102
You see what I mean?? I totally know how
it felt to be a Jew in the Holocaust now!
330
00:17:36,129 --> 00:17:38,198
I have to kill my mom.
It's my only way out.
331
00:17:38,254 --> 00:17:40,088
Dude, don't kill your mom.
That's not cool.
332
00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:43,057
She's Hitler! Would you have
killed Hitler if you had the chance?!
333
00:17:43,168 --> 00:17:44,375
All right now, here's the plan.
334
00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:47,073
At 9:45 tonight I will sneak out
of my room and leave the house
335
00:17:47,074 --> 00:17:48,452
leaving the back door unlocked.
336
00:17:48,572 --> 00:17:50,949
You guys come into the house at 10:30 p.m. sharp
337
00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:53,751
having given me enough time to get down
to Perkins to be seen by everyone there.
338
00:17:53,752 --> 00:17:56,106
And then all four of you
go upstairs to kill my mom.
339
00:17:56,185 --> 00:17:57,604
Dude, we're not killing your mom.
340
00:17:57,762 --> 00:18:00,012
Well I can't kill her.
I'm too obvious a suspect.
341
00:18:00,151 --> 00:18:01,908
Now, when you reach her room,
Butters will keep a lookout
342
00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,497
while Kenny opens the bedroom door,
Kyle puts a pillow over my mom's head
343
00:18:04,498 --> 00:18:06,018
and Stan shoots her in the face.
344
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:08,074
Where am I supposed to get a gun?
- Well I don't know.
345
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,393
That's your job, Stan!
Do I have to think of everything here?!
346
00:18:10,441 --> 00:18:11,626
I'm not shooting anybody.
347
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,916
Okay, fine. Butters,
you cover my mom's head with a pillow
348
00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:15,078
and Kyle can shoot her in the face.
349
00:18:15,223 --> 00:18:16,168
No, Cartman!
350
00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:18,726
Oh! Well how about I do everything?!
How does that sound?!
351
00:18:18,795 --> 00:18:21,045
I'll just do everything while you guys
sit here and play video games?!
352
00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:24,392
Fine! I'll do it by myself!
353
00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:43,530
You forced me to do this!
You couldn't just love me as a son.
354
00:18:44,349 --> 00:18:46,974
You just had to humiliate
and degrade me with your rules.
355
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,209
I won't let you dominate my life anymore!
356
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:51,842
Goodbye, Mother.
357
00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:56,680
Wait.
358
00:18:57,111 --> 00:19:00,694
Maybe I don't have the right to kill my mom.
359
00:19:01,659 --> 00:19:04,212
No! She's my mom,
I can do whatever I want with her!
360
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,420
It's more important that I live the way I want!
361
00:19:06,948 --> 00:19:08,938
She isn't an object you can own.
She's a human being.
362
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,412
She isn't an object you can own.
She's a human being.
363
00:19:11,509 --> 00:19:14,023
No, she's just... out to make you suffer!
364
00:19:15,485 --> 00:19:18,276
Maybe all these changes are good for me.
Maybe...
365
00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:20,554
The world doesn't revolve around me?
366
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:25,142
Maybe the world doesn't revolve around me.
367
00:19:32,072 --> 00:19:33,975
The world doesn't revolve around me!
368
00:19:34,075 --> 00:19:35,558
Idiot!
369
00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:02,967
Why Eric, you made your own breakfast.
370
00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:05,231
Yeah Mom, it's okay.
It's grapefruit and lean han.
371
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,314
And you're studying before school?
372
00:20:07,425 --> 00:20:10,576
Well, you told me I had to review
my homework before class started.
373
00:20:11,704 --> 00:20:14,583
Oh, Eric. I'm very proud of you.
374
00:20:14,957 --> 00:20:16,868
Tha... thank you?
375
00:20:16,937 --> 00:20:18,215
I love you, sweetie.
376
00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:20,118
'K Mom, you're embarrassing me, jeez.
377
00:20:23,741 --> 00:20:25,922
Cesar. I'm so happy you're back.
378
00:20:26,213 --> 00:20:27,491
How is the child doing?
379
00:20:27,533 --> 00:20:31,229
Oh, he's amazing.
I think the change in personality happened.
380
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:34,848
He's doing things for himself now
and he seems to be accepting it.
381
00:20:34,849 --> 00:20:37,824
I've lost a best friend,
but I've gained a son.
382
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:41,763
That's much healthier for him and when he gets
older he'll be able to be your friend too.
383
00:20:41,863 --> 00:20:43,276
You're the best, Cesar.
384
00:20:43,332 --> 00:20:46,193
and to show my gratitude I've got
two tickets for you and me
385
00:20:46,194 --> 00:20:48,491
to see Madame Butterfly this Friday night.
386
00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:51,338
Well no, my work is done.
I've got to get back to Los Angeles.
387
00:20:52,296 --> 00:20:55,337
Oh... But I thought we were becoming friends.
388
00:20:55,435 --> 00:20:58,964
No, not really. You're just a client.
Well, good luck to you. Gotta go.
389
00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:05,882
I cleared up the table, Mom. I'm gonna
go upstairs and make my bed now.
390
00:21:09,078 --> 00:21:13,300
Eric, how would you like to go with me
to see Madame Butterfly Friday night?
391
00:21:13,842 --> 00:21:17,462
No, that's okay. Besides, I told Stan and Kyle
we could work on our science project then.
392
00:21:18,192 --> 00:21:21,053
Well, what if I took you to
Kentucky Fried Chicken afterward?
393
00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:25,963
And then we'll go to Target
and I buy you a Mega Ranger.
394
00:21:27,463 --> 00:21:30,744
Could I... perhaps have...
two Mega Rangers?
395
00:21:31,547 --> 00:21:34,513
Yes, darling.
You can have whatever you want.
396
00:21:42,285 --> 00:21:43,999
Transcipt: spscriptorium
Sync: John Smith aka muter
397
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,580
Cya, untill part II of season 10
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
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