Original subtitles

What is a seven-letter word for childish meltdown?

Unacceptable! Nope. Too many letters.

What's up, Mom?

Do you remember that orca that beached itself with the hurt fin?

Aw, poor whale. What about it?

They have taken it for rehabilitation to Aunt Clammy's.

It's the aquatic theme park.

Um, that sounds amazing.

Yeah! They can help it heal and release it back into the wild.

But they won't. They'll keep it!

Orcas should be in the ocean, NOT aquatic theme parks.

And not Aunt Clammy's.

Kids, don't get your mother started on Aunt Clammy's.

It's... Especially when we have more pressing issues,

like what is a seven-letter word for childish fit?!

Greetings, Under-chumps.

Ha-ha! What's with the camera?

You finally making that documentary

about the Underwoods' morning breath?

Two words. Moist. Ham.

It's a school project.

We have to do a presentation on our personal hero.

And I accept. I'm guessing your mother?

Obviously Mom. What?

Obviously, it's me!

Who's a super cool alien

that can shoot lightning from his fingertips?

This guy!

No. It's Mom. WHAT?!

Ugh!

Tantrum! Seven letters.

# The Underwoods The fam of the hour

♪ Hallow Bay's finest Weaver, Willow, Jim and Flower

♪ Things were all good Every day was the same

♪ Then, ding-dong Their lives all changed... ♪

Overlord! ♪ Second most wanted in the Cosmos

♪ Sold out his boss Cos the space feds were too close

♪ No more running round Crushing lives at will

♪ Witness protection Sorry, that's the deal

♪ A fall from grace For someone so celestial

♪ Now they got a cuz Who's extra-terrestrial

♪ He's super evil And they're super good

♪ It's Overlord And The Underwoods. ♪

OVERLORD GRUNTS Really? I'm your hero?

Really?! Her?

Her arms are so flimsy! Ow!

And her ears! They're so...

comically small!

What? No, they're not!

Mom, face it. You're awesome.

Oh... Ha-ha... This is a joke.

This is a joke, isn't it? I mean, Flower? A hero?

It's very funny.

Hilarious even. HA-HA!

Look at us making a joke!

I mean it. I LIED!

It's horribly, terribly unfunny!

Ah!

Ugh! Ah! Ooh!

I am so flattered.

So, can I come with you to work to catch you in action?

I would love that. Let me grab some extra batteries!

Well, looks like it's a daddy-daughter day.

What do you wanna do? Oh!

I have a bunch of episodes of British Bakers Island recorded.

I kind of already invited River over to hang out, so...

Oh! Yeah. Of course. River. You guys do your thing.

I'll make popcorn balls! No!

Please. No old-timey popcorn snacks.

What? You always loved them!

Does River know when you were younger

you called them plop-corn balls?

No. And he never will.

Please, please, please don't embarrass me.

Please, Willow. I...

am always a super, very awesome, cool...

Ooh!

SHE SIGHS

TENSE MUSIC

Ah!

Impressed? I think the word is horrified.

I won it in battle in the Salt Pits of Ragdag.

The battle lasted 150 years!

I bet your hero, Flower, couldn't do that!

Well, humans don't even live for 150 years.

Because you're cowards.

Don't cowards live longer? Uh... Good point.

Look, she never fought in a pit or made a shrink ray,

but she's still my hero.

I think when I unshrunk you, I forgot to unshrink your brain.

I think you'd be surprised. Mom's work can be pretty exciting.

So, Saturdays are the day I get all of my paperwork done.

This is the kibble inventory! It's cool, huh?

Oh, did you get a shot of the spreadsheet?

Yeah. So... many... spreadsheets.

J'accuse!

Uh, Overlord? Why are you here?

Wait. How did you get here?

I have mysterious ways, alien ways,

that your tiny brain, and ears, couldn't possibly understand.

Hey... my bike!

He-he-he... Oh, no, lawn clippings! My only weakness!

Ugh! Ah!

It's not important how I got here.

All that matters is... J'accuse!

What are you j'accusing me of? Other than having tiny ears.

Which I do not.

She's charging a fee!

She's raking in the cash off these sad dogs!

Actually, we're a not-for-profit. We rely on donations.

Wow. That's amazing, Mom!

You're not getting any profit?! No.

You're a terrible...

a terrible business person!

Well, we do well enough to take care of all of these animals,

and a certain freeloading cousin.

You have other cousins? No.

DOORBELL RINGS R0-FL: Why this door handle so high?

Uh... Hello? Well, hello there, human boy.

Willow is probably in the bathroom. She's always there.

No! I'm not!

I'm almost never there.

R0-FL. Don't you have something better to do?

♪ Literally nothing! ♪ Go away.

Robot butlers, always malfunctioning.

Uh, malfunctioning?! Uh-uh.

This, from a weird species that gets hiccups?

So, you still wanna go to the mall?

I'm happy to do anything if I'm with you. Aww.

Ugh, Willow, how many times have I asked you

not to put your retainer in the dishwasher?

Hi, Mr Underwood.

That's not my retainer, right, Dad? It's, um...

My boss'... that I offered to clean for him.

I'm just gonna watch TV.

Parents can be so embarrassing.

Clearly, it works. You have a great smile.

Thanks. Yours ain't half-bad either.

'Coming up on British Bakers Island:

'Tabatha goes into crisis mode, and...'

Oh, no! Not Tabatha. You like this show?

Doesn't everyone? I haven't seen this episode yet.

Is this the one after Marcus gets eliminated?

Yeah, for getting seawater in his shortbread.

Maybe we could just stay and watch this?

You are more than welcome. Awesome!

What is happening?

Ohh! Still folding animal blankets.

Yes, because folding blankets is also important.

Are you worried the jailed animals will give you a bad star rating

on Welp if the linens aren't folded?

This is the most bored I have ever been,

and I have listened to Jim talk through his popcorn-ball recipe.

Well, are pirates boring?

Pirates? Mm-hm.

No, not boring at all.

Before you kids were born,

I belonged to a sea-faring activist group

called Pirates of Peace.

Is that you, Mom, on a ship?! Was it dangerous?

Well, we would blockade boats from illegal salmon-poaching.

Amazing! What is happening here?

You, stop being enthralled by your mother's past!

OVERLORD GRUMBLES

Oh, it's OK. This one time...

We were on the coast of Newfoundland...

'Tabatha, you had the least sand in your trifle,

'which means you have won...'

Woo-hoo-hoo! I can't believe it!

Well, Charles did choke on the snickerdoodle challenge.

In his defence, he had been stung by a jellyfish earlier.

Well, that was fun. River, let's go.

'G'day baking enthusiasts.

'Get ready for our best season ever of Australian Bakers Island.'

What's this?

Oh, this is the Australian version of the show.

You know, I almost like it better.

Snakes increase the stakes, when they bakes cakes.

THEY LAUGH This I gotta see!

'Tonight, Bruce is furious when sand gets into his pavlova!'

What? But it's the same show, just with a slightly different accent.

'..koala shortbread cookies crumbled under the midday sun.'

What?

We followed the poaching ship off the coast of Newfoundland

for two days, blasting Celtic music at it until it left.

Pirates! Sea shanties! Newfoundland!

This is great stuff for my assignment.

Too bad she's a criminal! Excuse me?

I did some research on Flower and the Pirates of Peace.

And look what I found.

Old, tiny ears.

You're a criminal? No... just hang on a second...

She is! Yes, that is me.

I was involved an incident at Aunt Clammy's Fishville.

The aquatic park that makes you so angry?

The one that saved the whale? It's not a good place, Weaver.

How can it be so bad? They have such a catchy theme song.

♪ Come and play With the creatures of the sea

♪ It's fishy fun for the family

♪ See a starfish Yeah, that's nuts

♪ Stay for our corndogs And our tiny doughnuts

♪ It's wet, and it's fun

# At Aunt Clammy's! ♪

Man, that is a great song! No, it is not fishy fun for anyone!

Especially the animals. So, what happened?

Well, 17 years ago, I was leaving the Pirates of Peace.

And, then, I heard about the new exhibit at Aunt Clammy's.

They were dressing up seals in people clothes

and making them dance to the music of pop legend Seal.

Seal?! Yes.

Seals dancing to the music of Seal?!

Oh, that is diabolical. I would pay top dollar to see that.

Well... SHE GROANS

I dressed up as a clam and I chained myself to the exhibit in protest.

The paper says "security guard humiliated"?

Well, in the commotion, the guard fell into a pool of sea cucumbers.

She was caught on tape, and it sort of became a big thing.

Did you see that security guard tussling with that giant clam

and then they fell into the sea cucumber pool?

LAUGHTER

When she hit the salt water,

she realised she was in a bit of a pickle!

LAUGHTER

Ugh. Man, comedy was different in the mid-2000s.

Well, it was a huge story

and it caught the attention of Seal, the musician,

and when he found out that Aunt Clammy was using his song,

he sued them and shut down that exhibit!

He stuck it to them like a kiss from a rose.

And I don't even know what that song means, I don't.

Can we get to the part where you're a criminal?

I was never charged. I was pregnant with your sister.

There was so much bad press

that they thought it was a bad idea to charge a pregnant lady.

But I was banned from Aunt Clammy's for life.

So that's why we've never gone. That is one of the many reasons.

I guarantee they are not helping that orca.

They're just using it somehow.

Well, thank you for sharing that dumb story.

Now, listen,

Flower is obviously, clearly disqualified from the hero project.

Mom isn't a hero. Exactly!

She's a superhero! What?

You kicked butt for a good cause, and all while pregnant!

Well, you know. Just, don't make a big deal of it.

I'm just a regular, everyday hero. You rock, Mom.

Oh, thank you, honey.

♪ Da-da-doo De-loo-lee-woo-dop. ♪

R0-FL? A-ha?

Are Dad and River still watching that show?

Oh, yeah. They're like two peas in a pod,

or more like two meat bags filled with water watching TV.

What? That's how I see all humans.

OK? I just don't get it.

How do I get River to stop hanging out with Dad?

So, now you ask advice from a "malfunctioning robot butler"?

Yeah, sorry about that. I was embarrassed.

Maybe that's the answer?

Simply find something embarrassing about Jim.

Nothing embarrasses Dad. It's like his superpower.

But I do need something to convince River that Dad isn't cool.

Ooh, I have the perfect video. I unearthed it while doing research.

You do? Wait. What research?

Overlord tracks embarrassing things the Underwoods do

in case he ever wants to use it against you.

Well, that's a bit alarming. Bing-bong!

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS Wow. R0-FL, you are brilliant.

Yes. I am a super computer,

while you are just a meat bag full of water.

This is gonna be sweet.

Ah-ha-ha! Ow!

Why is it so dry? It burns!

Foolish Petey. HE GRUNTS

There, pull this, pull this one. Get off of me!

I'm not even gonna ask. Probably for the best.

HE GRUNTS

I hate to say it, I think Dalia's going home.

Yeah, you know, I agree. That frosting was subpar. Yeah.

I hate to interrupt,

but I've got something super cool we should all watch.

Oh, sure.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

I found that old video of Dad's air-guitar competition.

CHEERING

So, you were in an air-guitar competition?

Uh, yeah. The 2006 Regional Championships.

I know it probably seems pretty uncool to you guys.

No, no, this is so cool! It is?!

Yeah, I guess it is.

I did win 600 bucks. The trophy's in the garage.

Can I see it? You bet.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

Uh, who are you, and why are you tasting puddles in my house?

It's brine. SHE LAUGHS

I have waited a long time for this day.

I'm sorry, have we met?

Don't play coy with me.

You know exactly who I am. Not a clue.

Name's Francine Larue. Nope.

Last time you saw me, I was shoulder-deep in sea cucumbers.

Oh, snap! The sea-cuke security guard!

This is gold.

Yeah, nobody finds that funny any more.

The sea cucumbers. HE LAUGHS

I mean, who gets attacked by sea cucumbers?

I am not the humiliated security guard any more.

Now, I am CEO of Aunt Clammy's Marine Parks Unlimited.

You're Aunt Clammy now? Pretty much.

The plot thickens.

And for 17 years,

I have worked my way up with one thought in my mind:

Revenge!

Well, I've got you now, thief.

You don't come into MY house, and lick MY puddles,

and accuse ME of committing a crime.

You stole FOMO the whale, our newest exhibit.

You named a captive orca FOMO? A bit on the nose.

You just called it an exhibit.

You told the press that you were gonna release it

into the wild when its fin got better.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to score a free whale?

We're gonna make a lot of money off it.

You're right, Mom. They're evil!

And I found your business card at the bottom of an empty whale tank.

Proof!

That doesn't prove anything, and clearly, there is no whale here.

So, I think that it's time for you to leave.

You don't intimidate me. Get out of my house. Oh!

Uh, Flower, Weaver?

Would you, um, join me in my room for a moment?

Overlord, please tell me you don't have anything to do

with that missing orca.

Orca? No, no. But I did steal that whale. Ah!

Ahh!

Chill out.

The whale is perfectly healthy, its fin wasn't even injured.

Of course not! Sneaky Aunt Clammy.

And I've been doing a fantastic job of keeping the whale moist.

Ugh, ew! I got blowhole water in my mouth!

Ugh.

Now, if you thought Flower was a hero for helping a seal,

then you must admit,

I am a much bigger hero for saving this whale!

Huh, you call this safe, living in a void?

We have to get it to water ASAP.

What about Francine Larue? If she finds out, we're sunk!

Don't worry. If there is no evidence, there is no crime.

SHE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY Oh, right.

Yeah, but you actually, literally planted my card

at the scene of the crime!

If somebody was gonna take the fall, I wouldn't want it to be me.

On one hand, this is terrible.

On the other, it's great material for my school project! Right?

Just shoot my good side when they haul me off to jail.

Aw, there, there, there, now. What good side?

HE SHIVERS You're not going to jail, Mom.

First of all, you didn't commit any crime.

Aunt Clammy's did by stealing a healthy whale.

Second, you're a Pirate of Peace! Nothing can stop you.

You're right. Let's set that whale free,

preferably in a way that doesn't get Mommy arrested.

Whoa, whoa. Slow down.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to move a giant whale? Ugh.

I do. It requires lots of truck rentals,

and cranes, and bribes, lots of bribes.

What about your shrinking device?

My shrinking device? HE LAUGHS

I wish you'd mentioned that before I stole the whale!

'80S ROCK PLAYING What is this?

You, girl, have you seen anything suspicious around this house?

Most days. Who's asking?

I'm from Aunt Clammy's. That sketchy aquatic zoo?

It is a place of fishy fun for the whole family.

I'm pretty much Aunt Clammy.

Yeah, sure you are.

And he's Ed Sheeran.

Well, it would seem the apple does not fall very far from the tree.

Your mother is a criminal,

and your father is an embarrassment. Hey!

He might be embarrassing, and apparently so is my boyfriend,

but at least they own it, which makes him the coolest people

that I know.

Now swim off, fish lady!

BOTH PANTING

Whoo!

Oh, man, I was thinking, maybe we could, like,

tighten up my solo a bit or add some more kicks or something?

Oh, for sure, that'd be, like...

PANTING

Ah, you know what, River, I think I got to hang up my tassels.

We're just getting warmed up!

I'm sorry. I got to break up the band.

You just to get to an age

where you can't keep doing air guitar any more.

All those sweet kicks are messing up my knees.

I'm sorry, dude. Keep on rocking, though.

You don't have bad knees.

No, I can keep doing those sweet kicks all day and night, no prob.

Look, I'm sorry your uncool dad was taking up so much

of your boyfriend's time.

You're not uncool.

Well, you're both equally uncool.

HE CHUCKLES GENTLY Well, you got to admit,

I do still got it.

You do, Dad. You do.

And I have an idea.

'80S ROCK PLAYING

Careful!

Going somewhere?

No... Yes, as a matter of fact,

we were just going do the... THEY MUMBLE

Great! You're back.

What's in your shirt?

Oh, she's pregnant! At your age?

OVERLORD GROANS

I'm preggers, you just didn't notice because I was wearing... a coat.

Remember last time you tried harassing a pregnant lady?

It didn't end too well.

No-one is harassing any pregnant ladies!

ORCA MOANS What...

What-What-What-What was that?

Something is going on.

Oh! The baby's coming.

I have to do my new breathing technique.

SHE MOANS LIKE A WHALE

SHE CLICKS, GROANS

ORCA GRUMBLES

We have to go to the hospital before my water breaks!

I don't know how you've done it,

but I will catch you.

I have evidence.

Look, a whale! What?

ZAP Ah! Oh!

Ha! It's my whale!

Actually, it is not.

And it is not called a whale, it is called an orca.

Orca!

Well, your whole family is banned from Aunt Clammy's for life.

Good!

Yeah, good. Like we'd go there anyway.

See you!

SHE CHUCKLES Why didn't you tell me

you're pregnant? Oh, shush! Let's go!

Why am I always the last one to find these things out?

Mom, are you sure we'll be safe

to release this orca back into the wild?

Oh, don't worry, honey. This is a wild orca,

and it's only been at Aunt Clammy's for a few days.

OVERLORD GRUNTS

I can't believe I'm giving up a killer whale for you two!

There you go.

OVERLORD SIGHS

FLOWER LAUGHS

There it is!

Oh! Ha! Look, it's got friends!

Wait, that's not his friend, that is his mother.

Oh, well, the mother is much bigger

and more impressive than a little baby.

OVERLORD LAUGHS

Hey! You're impressive, honey.

OK, so I had to cut out all the bits

with aliens, whales, and shrink rays,

however... enjoy the show!

My mom is my hero.

I love animals. Animals. Animals.

GENTLE APPLAUSE, SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

Well, it might not win any film festivals,

but... it's really sweet. Aw.

That was awful.

Willow and River made biscuits before he went home.

And these ones don't have any sand in them.

SLURPING

Mm-hm-hm!

Jam. Raspberry.

How do you lose a whale? TV AUDIENCE LAUGHING

So, Fish And Wildlife are investigating the park,

and, get this, the park owner is the one and only Cucumber Lady.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Do you remember that video?

'Let's roll the clip.' MERV CHUCKLES

There is something fishy going on in that Underwoods house.

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