Original subtitles

Willow! Weaver! Weaver! Willow!

BABBLES THEIR NAMES REPEATEDLY

Finally! It's 3am!

Exactly. It's not like you're busy or anything.

You'd better not have woken us up to find the remote again.

It's in the couch. It is ALWAYS in the couch. No. Uh...

Although, In The Nik Of Crime is on in 20 minutes,

so if you don't want me to call again...

Wait! Wait! Wait! Come back! Come back! Come back.

I need to show you something. CLEARS THROAT

Oh, you gotta see this! What is this?

It's your mom's old blog. WILLOW SCOFFS

Whoa, it looks like she's in a girl band.

Oh, she is NOT allowed to criticise my style any more.

She's not allowed to criticise anything any more.

Never mind Flower's terrible choices!

Look at this! "This hat's driving me cray-cray."

Ugh. Mom. This post wasn't even old enough to justify that slang.

Some people see the hat in the photo as blue and black,

while others see it as white and gold.

It's simply amazing! The bucket hat?

You seriously woke us up for that? It's so old.

Yeah. Everyone knows it's...

...white and gold. ...blue and black.

Oh, we are not having an argument about this again.

Why, because I'm right? Overlord, what colour is the hat?

You mean you don't know? HE LAUGHS

Well, OBVIOUSLY, I know. It's, um...

whatever the smart people think it is.

Yeah, and there's no smart people here, so...

Nana Kirkland! Wake up!

# The Underwoods The fam of the hour

♪ Hallow Bay's finest Weaver, Willow, Jim and Flower

♪ Things were all good Every day was the same

♪ Then ding-dong Their lives all changed... ♪

Overlord! ♪ Second most wanted in the Cosmos

♪ Sold out his boss Cos the space feds were too close

♪ No more running round Crushing lives at will

♪ Witness protection Sorry, that's the deal

♪ A fall from grace For someone so celestial

♪ Now they got a cuz Who's extra-terrestrial

♪ He's super evil And they're super good

♪ It's Overlord And The Underwoods. ♪

PHONE CHIMES, SHE GASPS

Yes! Hang-out sesh at Danya's this afternoon.

Lea and Pia, the two coolest girls at school, are gonna be there.

Sorry, can't make it.

One of my selfies got over 500 likes,

which upped my cool factor

just enough for Danya to swing me an invite!

Swing you an invite? To her own house?

Isn't that weird? No!

No, Mom, it's not like that. It's just... Yeah.

...you know, Danya's friends with them,

but she's also friends with me, and if we all become friends,

then she doesn't have to split her time between the cool kids

and, as she refers to me, "the others".

It's economical friending.

I am so glad I am not a teenager any more.

Yeah, it's been a while, huh?

OK, well, I hope this party doesn't distract

from today's real adventure... OVERLORD VOCALISES

...the annual family photo!

Oh, yeah! KIDS SIGH

Don't start poo-pooing until you see...

the matching outfits I got us! Huh?

As per usual, they're individually sized and initialled,

but this year, as a special treat...

merino wool, so... Ooh! ..easy-breathing, y'all!

THEY VOCALISE

Ugh! May we now commence poo-pooing? Hard pass.

I'm gonna have to see your plan B. Wool is too itchy!

Why do you think sheep are always screaming?

Ovi, there is no sweater for you. What?! No!

HE EXCLAIMS Give me one!

I wanna scream like a sheep!

But you JUST said you don't like wool.

So you expect me to be photographed sweater-less...

like some hairless cat?!

We take the same photo every year in the same outfits.

Look. Starting with... this one.

That's Willow. Mm.

Yeah, so adding you would just... mess up the consistency.

So I'm not going to be in the family photo at all?

Fine. Fine.

PLATES CLATTER Fine, fine, fine.

Hey! I just stacked those! Fine, fine. Fine.

My breakfast! What is wrong with you?!

Well, guess what? I don't wanna be in your CREEPY photo anyway!

Ugh! HE CRIES

I know he's a lot to deal with,

but is there any way we can include him?

We just want it to be immediate family.

Like it was in the before times. Isn't that cliquey?

Life's not a '90s movie, Weaver. Nobody has cliques any more.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to figure out how I'm going to impress

the small group of exclusive peers I'm meeting up with.

See you later. HE GRUNTS

Yeah, it's not the same... Mm-mm. ..because, um, family.

And, uh... reasons.

WILLOW SIGHS

OK, let's try and get this done as quickly as possible.

I NEED to be at Danya's house.

Oh, yeah. Save that frustration for the camera.

It'll read as intensity. Ooh!

OK, now, do NOT pull a face this year.

I need a nice photo to send to Grandma and Grandpa

without them starting their family-chat drama.

Oh, why, Mother, I would never Uh-huh.

Well, if you want your rent, your internet

and your phone paying for, then you WILL nev-er.

OK, ha-ha, hi! All right, Underwoods!

Say "cheese"! Cheese!

Cheese-se-ses! Overlord, what are you doing here?

Whoops, did I do that? OVERLORD CHUCKLES

Uh, listen, make sure you check your trunk before you drive.

You never know who or what could be in there.

You really need to lay off the true crime docs.

This guy is with you?

He's our cousin from California.

We've met. Mike? Sorry, sorry. I'm not here.

Um, I just need to quick... Hello!

Mike? Mike.

Mike?

That's my names! Don't wear it out.

Simon, since you're such an expert on "phototography",

maybe you can tell me... what colour is this ugly hat?

Black and blue. White and gold.

We can't do this again!

You remember last time? Oh, I remember.

We couldn't talk for, like, a full week.

I said it was black and blue. And I said it was white and gold.

We couldn't look at hats for an entire year! A whole year.

Yep. Just as I suspected.

Your two feeble minds cannot comprehend hat colours,

and your stories are boring!

OK. Shift, shift, shift. Boring.

KERFUFFLE Our stories are not boring.

Sorry! OK. Ready to go!

Say "cheese"!

Cheese! Huzzah!

No! Good luck. Out!

Ow! SHE GRUNTS

SHE SIGHS Let's go!

OK. Here we go. Family photo! Cheese!

OVERLORD GRUNTS AND LAUGHS

No! Cheese!

THEY EXCLAIM No!

Cheese! Cheese!

No! Cheese!

Gorgonzola! Nope. Nope.

Cheese! Monterey Jack!

Please leave. Please leave. Cheese!

Hello, there! Ah! Ugh! THUDS

Ugh! It's OK! Just take the picture.

HE STRUGGLES I am not OK!

Get off! I can't work like this.

I studied photography in the nice part of France, you know?!

Uh-uh!

What's your problem, "Simon"?!

Some of us have places to be. Will you stop photo-bombing?

"Photo... bombing"? Yes! Photo-bombing!

Never. You're benched, overlord!

HE WHIMPERS Whoa. Her hockey voice.

I've never witnessed it in the wild. And you never should have.

Fine! I will let you take your played-out portrait,

but not because you're the alpha!

Go. Oh, yes, ma'am.

Alpha ma'am. HE GASPS

Yeah! yeah!

Well... HE SIGHS

...time to do my thang.

Watch the news on a loop

while eating from your secret stash of corn chips?

Oh, I feel seen. Thank you, son.

Well, since I'm not wanted...

...I'm off to the attic... to do cool stuff...

and all of you are not invited!

HE YELPS AND GRUNTS

Cool... stuff.

I got it. HE SIGHS

Hm-mm.

And don't you dare try and follow me!

Uh... I said, "Don't you dare try and follow me"!

MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY AND LAUGHS

You know...

you're lucky you don't have to take part in the family portrait.

The sweaters are lame, the flashes are... are blinding,

and they never pick the photo where I make a face.

I work on those faces all year long,

and no-one ever gets to revel in their glory.

I get it.

You think I wear this helmet so that I can breathe? No.

I wear it so that you humans don't faint

at the sight of my majestic visage.

What, uh... What exactly are you looking for?

It's something evil, isn't it?

That quip about photo-bombing reminded me of something. What?

I have a photo-bomb. Uh...

I know, I know.

It's an old piece of technology, but, hey, it sparks joy!

What exactly does it do?

DEVICE WHIRRS AND BLEEPS

Overlord!

This thing is one of the greatest galactical purchases

I have ever made!

SHE EXCLAIMS, TALKS INDISTINCTLY

Whoa! You're in every picture! This the most...

Overlord! What did you do to my phone?!

You're in every single photo!

THEY GASP, HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY

So much joy!

Oh! No. No, no, no, no, no, no!

HE WHIMPERS

Willow's first birthday, Weaver's first day of school! Um...

Mom... Oh! Our wedding photo?!

No! I know, honey.

No, no, no! The photo of me in the Hallow Bay Marathon!

It's ruined!

Oh, no Those awesome shorts

Hey! Maybe you can take it down now?

HE GASPS Never!

This is the greatest moment of my life! What?

Oh... no... no... OK, um...

My photo-bomb has put me in every photo in the house!

HE LAUGHS How?

I dunno...!

You don't know how your own machine works?!

How does your fridge work? Or your car!

Do any of us really understand the technology that we use?

I mean, what even are... magnets?

Remove yourself now. Now!

From the portrait, or from your presence? Yes!

Ugh! As if it's such a big DEAL!

I am going to be late for Danya's party,

so as much as I'd LOVE to rip Overlord gasket from gasket,

I literally, literally can't even.

'And in fun news...'

Uh, guys...

'..Kevin McSmith won first prize at the Hallow Bay Farm Fair

'for his crazy cabbage. Congrats!' Huh...

Maybe my photo-bomb's radius is a... a-a little bigger than I remember?

Maybe a lot bigger.

So, WE are making homemade pizzas tonight.

GIRLS GASP Really?!

Hey! I brought pretzels.

THEY GIGGLE AND CHATTER

Wait... Hey! ..pineapple on pizza, or...?

Are we no or yes? Prey! I brought hetzels!

Hey, Will! You're, like, half hour late.

Sorry, I was... It's my...

Apparently, that is like a full potato!

THEY GIGGLE Oh, my gosh! "Potato"!

GIGGLING CONTINUES What about potatoes?

It's just a thing from earlier. "Po-ta-to"!

I brought pretzels.

'We interrupt this riveting episode of Baker's Island

'to bring you breaking news.

'Reports confirm that a new mysterious photo-based hack

'has been spreading to images continent-wide.

'The Pentagon has dubbed this phenomenon

'the Some Weird Guy Hack,

'as most who've seen it have been heard saying,

' "Hey, Nancy, what's this in my photo?"

' "Oh, it's some weird guy." '

Did you hear that?

Where they called you weird, or where they called you "some guy"?

I'm famous!

Not only did I ruin your family portrait,

but I've ruined family portraits across the entire continent!

How long should I let humanity squirm

before I present myself for admiration?

Maybe two days?

TWO-AND-A-HALF DAYS?!

Um, Overlord, thing is,

you're not the second greatest villain in the universe any more.

You are a criminal in witness protection.

Way to rub it in, Negative Newton. Who are you? Jim?

I think he's saying is,

if your photobomb is spreading your image,

won't it eventually get to the bounty hunters

who are trying to get you?

Way to bring down the party, Jim.

Who are you? JIM?!

Hmm.

But that's a good point.

Fiddlysticks!

You need to remove yourself from everyone's photos.

Even the family portraits?

Especially the family portraits!

You know what?

You would like it if bounty hunters came and took me away!

Then you could just go back to your normal consistent lives.

Pillow explosion!

WHOOPING AND LAUGHING

Wow, you guys managed to come up with a lot of inside jokes.

Remember beekeeper?

GASPS Beekeeper, beekeeper, beekeeper!

LAUGHTER Beekeeper, beekeeper, beekeeper!

You have to hit the second beekeeper.

Beekeeper, beekeeper, beekeeper.

Almost. Beekeeper, BEEKEEPER, beekeeper.

Isn't that how I did it? You missed it, it's cool.

PHONE BUZZES

Oh! This SWG. Mega hilarious, right?

What's the SWG?

Some weird guy. He's making all the old people go crazy.

It's tres amusing.

Wait. That... That's my cousin.

SWG is your cousin?!

No way! Way! Check it out.

See, I told you guys she was cool.

This is us at my little brother's birthday dinner.

But wait, we all have pics of him on our phone.

OK, but mine's real. He's my cousin. Why would I lie about that?

That's what I'm wondering. You don't have to try so hard.

No... No, but I'm not. I wasn't, it's...

Beekeeper, beekeeper, potato!

Uh...

No, no, I will prove that I'm not a try-hard, OK?

I'm gonna get Overl... I will get SWG, and I will bring him here.

Then we can all just hang out and chill, OK?

So I'll just... I'll be back,

and don't make more inside jokes without me.

You don't have to... No, no, no.

I'll just be a minute, OK?

PANTING

Oh, yeah. I really gotta get back into Pilates.

GROANS

Ovi, I need you to come to Danya's with me now.

You owe me after slowing down the photoshoot and making me late.

I can't, I'm running away. Earth stinks!

The gravity's too strong, the puppies don't have lasers,

and every time I try and perform evil,

I have to backpedal. Just my luck.

I get stuck on the second-worst planet in the galaxy.

Second worst?

Wait, which one's the worst? You don't want to know.

Welcome to the happiest planet in the universe!

My name is Billy... Oh, "happy" this!

EVIL LAUGH

Nice to meet youuuuuuuuuu...

EVIL LAUGH

Ugh!

Why are you really running away?

And why is your dumb face in every photo in town?

Ha-ha! How's THAT for getting in every family photo?

Oh. I get it.

You just want to be included. I kinda know how that feels.

Come on. No, no!

Unhand me!

Let's go.

I couldn't convince Overlord to... Do it.

Overlord?

Wait, if you're here,

who've I been talking to through the door?

Tell me more of your insecurities.

I promise I will never use them against you.

Shame, shame, shame on you all!

You should've made more of an effort to include Overlord,

instead of making him feel like the odd one out.

He needs to be let in on our potatoes.

I mean jokes. I mean... photos.

You are back from the party early. Yeah, well, we needed more pretzels.

Hmm. You're right, Willow.

We should treat you like we care, instead of making you feel unwanted.

We're sorry.

We are?

We are. We are.

And I accept your surrender.

However, feeling left out does not justify you destroying

all of our family mementos, altering reality...

Just wait...

...and setting off a device that brings

dangerous alien bounty hunters to our doors!

Yeah, Ovi, you don't have to try so...

...so hard. Shoot.

Whine, whine, whine!

Oh, I'm a human! I want my pictures back!

I want to breathe oxygen!

I want the polar ice caps to stop melting! Fine!

So you'll turn off the photobomb? Oh, yes, Jim.

And then I'll pluck a juicy candy off the happy candy tree

A photobomb cannot simply be turned off.

Like any other bomb, it must be...

...defused!

What? What?

I almost forgot.

Now that it's open and unstable,

we only have 90 seconds to defuse it before it goes off at full force.

Don't worry, Underdorks.

I'll more than likely survive the explosion.

Thank you, space suit!

Fix it, or you will not live to see the explosion.

Get... Ugh!

OK, let's see now. OK. "To open the case,

"use a flat head or an Escher screwdriver."

Done. "Extinguish any nearby suns."

OK, that's not applicable.

Now all we have to do is snip the gold and white wire.

It's here. It's that one right there.

No, honey, it's this one. No, it's this one here.

Can't you see? It's definitely that one there.

Oh, good, we're back to the bucket hat conundrum again.

Mom's right, that's the white and gold wire.

Dad's pointing to a blue and black wire.

No, Dad's right. You're just getting confused by the lighting.

Just admit that you're wrong. The whole planet's at stake!

Why would she admit she's wrong when she's so, so right?

Hard disagree. It is definitely this wire.

ALL TALKING AT ONCE

Just pick a wire!

R0-FL, could you do a scan of this and tell us which wire's which?

Scan complete.

The wires are made up of 83% orfnac,

a rare mineral found on the planet Yorp...

She won't be any help to us now. She's bot-splaining.

We're out of time, anyway.

Oh, you did it! GASPS OF RELIEF

'Reports confirm the SWG hack has suddenly spread worldwide.

'Every photo, every painting, every hieroglyphic on earth

'is now home to... Some Weird Guy.'

So... I should've cut the other wire?

'As the human race scrambles to save our images,

'international governments close in on the hacker's identity,

'and they've narrowed it down to...

'our very own Hallow Bay.' LAUGHS

'How about that, huh?

'We're gonna be on the international news stage now.

'Take that, Carol!'

LAUGHS

'That was exciting.'

Well, great (!) At this rate,

bounty hunters will be breaking down our door any sec.

We should've cut the white and gold wire!

We did, didn't we? OK, I am so confused.

Stop it, we know it was the blue and black one. I think.

I remember when the Great Bucket Hat Fiasco of 2018

tore this family apart.

OK, Overlord, settle this. What colours do you see?

Once again, I'm on the side the smart people are on,

whichever side that is.

So if anyone wants to tell me,

because I am for sure not picking the wrong one like an idi...

Wait. Oh!

I have an idea.

I know how to fix the photobomb.

What? That's great!

Oh, Jim. Stop latching onto my success.

It's not a good look for you.

R0-FL - I need you to transmit a message for me.

OK. OVERLORD WHISPERS

Uh-huh. Ooh!

'The tainted mayonnaise has affected 12 states and counting.

'Oh... Oh, and, erm, breaking news,

'we've received an anonymous message

'from the person responsible for the SWG hack.

'Let's listen now.'

'Wow! Fellow homo sapiens,

'you will not believe this incredible life hack.

'The SWG Hack is an illusion-based IQ test. Crazy!

'Those in the bottom 90% of human intelligence

'will see Some Weird Guy in their photos.

'Geniuses will not.

'I repeat, the smartest humans will beat the illusion,

'and not see anyone weird in their photos. That is all.

'Oh, and I am not weird. YOU'RE weird!'

'Well, what an exciting end to this story.

'And folks, if we take anything away from this adventure,

'I hope it's the knowledge that I never saw Some Weird Guy.'

Hmm, I cannot believe that worked.

Oh, I can. Humans stink.

Congratulations, Overlord.

You successfully gaslit the entire planet.

Oh! That reminds me, I have a gas-lighting device...

No! No!

GROANS You're no fun.

Hey. I'm sorry I yelled at you back at the photo studio.

I don't need you to come to Danya's any more.

Good. I hate parties without catering.

Plus, teenage girls are creepy.

In elementary, I used to hang out

with Danya, Lea and Pia all the time,

but then our interests kinda changed and we grew apart.

But I guess that's OK.

I shouldn't be trying to force something that's not there, right?

So forget the party. I'm good.

Sounds like someone learned a pretty good lesson.

Yeah. PHONE BEEPS

SHE GASPS

Danya convinced the cool girls to dig my "hot mess humour,"

and they've invited me back! Later, plebs.

Well, and there goes the lesson.

Lessons are overrated, anyway.

Wait. Overlord.

OVERLORD SIGHS I'm learning a lesson, aren't I?

Hopefully.

Excellent. CHUCKLES

Flower, and I guess Jim, come in and observe my geniosity.

Oh, did you paint yourself out of all these pictures?

Indeed. While R0-FL fixes the rest of your planet's picky-atures.

One down, nine quadrillion, thirty-nine trillion,

seventy-two billion, three-hundred and ninety-six million,

four-hundred and seventy-eight thousand,

five-hundred and one to go.

Personally, I think it looked better before.

Thank you, Overlord.

We really appreciate your understanding.

Just keep your appreciation.

I assure you, this is an evil plan that has yet to reveal itself.

Mm-hm

Do not ask for details.

You know, I'm thinking about our most recent family portrait.

Yeah, I am too.

Here we go, everyone. OK?

And...

Release the face.

OVERLORD GIGGLES

EVIL LAUGH

Wow.

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