Original subtitles

'You can do it all with my Blenderous XP Blender

'with hyper-speed drive and detachable gasket for easy cleaning!

'It's gorgeous, sleek and powerful enough to blend a shoe.'

A shoe?! 'That's right, a shoe!'

R0-FL, I'm waiting for that blender!

Be gentle with her. She's mostly tape.

Pathetic. Don't listen to him.

You're a very good blender. I can feel your pulse.

I want Dirk Dexter's Blenderous blender.

'And you can have the Blenderous blender!

'How many times have you tried making an epic smoothie

'only to spend two hours cleaning up?'

Never, Jim cleans up.

'Or put ingredients together

'only to find you've made something terrible?'

Never, that's Flower.

'How often have you wanted to blend everything?

'And I mean everything.

All the times! That's me.

'This amazing blender can be yours

'for just three easy payments of $39.99!

'Pick up the phone.'

Not because you told me to, Dirk, but because I want to!

'Have your credit card ready!'

Argh! I hate this planet!

# The Underwoods The fam of the hour

♪ Hallow Bay's finest Weaver, Willow, Jim and Flower

♪ Things were all good Every day was the same

♪ Then, ding-dong Their lives all changed... ♪

Overlord! ♪ Second most wanted in the Cosmos

♪ Sold out his boss Cos the space feds were too close

♪ No more running round Crushing lives at will

♪ Witness protection Sorry, that's the deal

♪ A fall from grace For someone so celestial

♪ Now they got a cuz Who's extra-terrestrial

♪ He's super evil And they're super good

♪ It's Overlord And The Underwoods. ♪

Jim, Flower. Give me your credit card. What? Why?

Also, no. There's this amazing blender on TV. I must have it.

You have a perfect blender from our kitchen!

But that can't even blend a shoe!

We're not getting you another blender, so you can blend...

Wait, is that why my tennis shoes are missing?

That's irrelevant, Jim. This blender is life or death for me.

You all can chew your food, but how will I blend things so I can eat?

I may shrivel down to Weaver's size. I'm right here.

We're not giving you money.

Oi! Well, if can't eat, you can't eat!

Looks like you all need to talk.

Overlord, that was uncalled for!

This was the last pineapple at the market. It's on the floor.

And now you know how I feel. Like floor pineapple.

In the Vaultic Nebula, I took what I wanted because I'm an Overlord.

You don't say

But here, I can't just take the blender

because there's this annoying Earth law

about exchanging money for goods.

Plus, Jim banned me from applying for credit cards.

You ran up a debt and collectors came to our house!

You're still mad about that? Lava under the bridge.

So about this blender you're buying me...

You know what? If you want this blender so badly,

earn the money and buy it yourself!

Eurgh. That sounds awful.

How would I even do that?

The same way Willow and Weaver do, chores around the house.

Chores?! What is chores?

Vacuuming, scrubbing, dusting.

And today's chore day, so if you do some, we will pay you.

How dare you. I will not do an underling's job.

I'll just have to take matters into my own mighty fists.

EVIL CHUCKLE We can hear you.

HE GROANS

Where's your money, Willow?

Ooh.

HE GRUNTS

Nuts and bolts. Oh, right.

THEY CHUCKLE

I'll try Weaver's.

Where's your money?

"Weaver, I am taking your money. I regret nothing. Overlord."

HE LAUGHS

Sometimes I forget how amazing I am. Still need that dough.

There are the new running shoes and dumbbells I want.

I'm saving up, but my chore money isn't going to cover it.

So, I need a part-time job.

A job? Why don't you just work more hours at the animal rescue?

A job I like will help me save up for things I need.

Besides, I don't like the way the ferrets look at me. It's so judgy.

I don't know, Will.

You have a lot on your plate. A job is more responsibility.

Guys, I can handle it!

Interrupting this BORING conversation to announce,

Jim, Flower, I will take you up on your offer to do chores.

But only the coolest ones. Really? Seriously?

Overlord broke my stuff and trashed my room.

I just finished cleaning. Relax. You should see Willow's room. What?!

ALL TALK AT ONCE

Stop!

We have an announcement. We do?

I was saving this for later, but we are taking the day off

and going to this meditation retreat.

Yeah. We are? Yes.

Willow, you think you're responsible enough to have a job?

You're now in charge of Weaver and Overlord.

What? I didn't want that job!

Don't think you can handle it?

I can handle it. Great! Everyone get your chores done.

You have our numbers, keep an eye on Overlord,

we'll return in three blissful hours! We will?

Keep up, Jim. OK.

OK. See you later. Goodbye.

OK, can we just skip the chores

and you hand me three easy payments of $39.99?

We'll divide and conquer. The chores will be done in no time

and we can do whatever we want the rest of the day!

Earth chores should be easy, right?

Wash my gloves after, eurgh!

Laundry's done! That has to be about...

$86.40.

Onto the next chore.

Oh!

Whoa. He finally did something right.

Wait, something looks off.

I can't believe he...

I had to take my Holograph Displayer out of storage and clean it.

Thing was filthy. All right, done, done, did it,

done it, did. OK, good.

That should come out to... $168.32.

I knew I'd be good at this.

My horsie goes, "Good morning."

My horsie also says, "Good Morning."

Does too!

Well, my other horsie comes along and says...

HE GASPS Welcome to Calm & Get It Studio.

I am Zsen, which is my name and also a state of mind,

and this is my soul's match.

Greetings. Love and light. I'm Azul Azure.

Azul is Spanish for blue, so your name is...

Blue Blue.

Oh, I never thought of that. Yes.

Flower, are you sure you want to...? Yeah.

This flyer came in the mail. Half-off coupon?

Yes. Oh, lovely.

We're so delighted to welcome you as our first ever customers.

First? Didn't you open a month ago?

Yes. It's been a little... calm.

Or as we like to say in meditation... calm.

OK. Excuse us one second.

Honey, I don't know about this... Let's try something new.

Release the stress. Plus, half-off coupon, yeah!

Look, either we stay here and meditate or we go back home

to chores and kids, and Overlord.

Let's meditate. Yeah.

Good man. Oh! Ha-ha.

OK, I've completed the menial chores.

I demand payment, Willow.

According to my calculations, you owe me...

305 Earth dollars and 19 cents!

I'm going to get two blenders and see if one can blend the other.

No way! You did none of the chores properly.

And, dude, your math is bad.

Mom and Dad left $10 for each of us.

But since we had to redo all the chores you did,

and you raided my piggy bank, you get none dollars.

What?! None dollars.

At this rate, I'll never have three easy payments of $39.99!

That's not MY responsibility.

HE GRUNTS

What do we do now?

Jim and Flower are gone and I have a blender to purchase.

You know what this means, R0-FL?

House par-tay with the other appliances?

It's time for me to take it to the next level and get some real money.

EVIL LAUGH

HE CHUCKLES

How much money do you make from this beverage stall?

Enough to buy a new telescope. Why?

I want it. The telescope?

The stall, child. No.

All right. How about a friendly barter?

I have this...

I took it from Jim's "do not touch" section

of the basement. There's a tall man on it.

That's a Michael Jordan limited edition card.

Only 23 ever made!

Whatever those words mean. Are you interested?

Are you sure you want to...? Fine.

I'll even throw in the shiny plastic case.

Do we have a deal? HE GIGGLES

OVERLORD LAUGHS

Willow!

I just got a notification

from our neighbourhood buy and sell newsletter.

Why is Petey selling dad's limited edition Michael Jordan card online

for a zillion dollars?

"Get your sugared sour water here."

Also, Overlord has a lemonade stand on our driveway.

What!?

Buy more!

With every tenth purchase comes a free Underwood family car!

Does the car have a cup holder for my lemonade?

No! He's kidding, he's kidding! What are you doing?!

I'm giving sugared sour water

to these gullible humans in exchange for money.

Shut it down now.

Sorry, guys. Business is closed.

Wait, wait, wait. It's closed. Closed.

No, no, no, no! No. My money!

Stop scheming, OK?

My parents are expecting me to be responsible.

Give Petey back his stand, and get Dad's Michael Jordan card back.

It's worth a lot of money.

Huh, that piece of cardboard? Yes.

How much money? OK, no. Don't you dare.

Go! I'm watching you.

Urgh! Don't even think about it.

Argh! Oh, my... Oh, my God.

Now, settle your souls, everyone. Settle your souls.

Settle your souls.

All right, we're going to begin with our calming meditation, yes?

All right. Now, please, close your eyes

and just think about all the things...

that stress you out.

I'm sorry, what?

Did you just open a new business?

Not sure how you will pay your overheads?

Did your webmaster just quit?

Thanks for nothing, Mom.

But you know, your problems... your problems, just let them go.

Why? Let it go and breathe.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. Breathe, breathe. Breathe, breathe.

THEY EXHALE

Flower? Yeah.

This isn't working. How long have we been meditating?

I think about two minutes.

And all this silence is making me think,

"Hey, what are the kids up to?"

And what do you think adult Weaver is gonna be like?

I think he'll be an accountant

and do slam poetry on the weekends...

Sorry, did you say your son's an accountant?

Cos we desperately need one.

Can we leave? Yeah.

Oh, no. No, no, no. No, please. Oh! Oh!

Did you not like the meditation?

Sorry, it just wasn't for us.

I-Is it possible to get a refund? Yeah.

Sorry, your refund window expired as soon as you closed your eyes.

Love and light.

If the meditation wasn't for you,

then we do have other calming activities that can help de-stress.

Unless... you're not good at being calm?

Ah! Ha-ha, I am GREAT at being calm, OK?

So let's do another activity.

Flower!

'You can have the Blenderous blender!'

You know, I'm nailing this whole "being responsible" thing.

Pancakes for lunch? Totally!

Ah, Willow, is this worth 200 Earth dollars

or 300 Earth dollars?

That's my recorder from fifth grade!

Ah, so negative Earth dollars.

R0-FL, what is Overlord up to?

Cannot compute,

but definitely not Overlord setting up a garage sale

What?! Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Overlord, these are our things!

And this is Granny's urn!

It's a vase. It was filled with dirt.

Was?

I might sell the dirt separately. HE CHUCKLES

How's that for business savvy? Oh! Got her! All safe.

Putting granny back in the urn and away from Overlord.

Sorry. So sorry. None of these things are for sale.

Hey, that's my journal! You're ruining my business!

Shut this down. No lemonade stands or garage sales!

Urgh. Willow, do you think we should call Mom and Dad?

No, no, I can handle this, OK?

Overlord, I cannot believe I'm saying this,

but go to your attic! Now! Go!

Fine. But not because you told me to, Willow, because I want to!

Flourish!

I have tried everything to make a quick Earth buck,

and Willow's squelched every endeavour.

Hm.

If only this were Dirk Dexter's Blenderous XP Blender

with hyper-speed drive

and detachable gasket for easy cleaning.

Your blender just needs a little love.

Everything eventually needs an upgrade, right?

What's going on?

R0-FL, sometimes, you're a decent assistant.

OK. That's exactly what I'll do!

I'll make a better blender and sell it for a ton of money!

Because I have something Dirk Dexter doesn't have.

A decent assistant who's fast becoming your best friend?

No, you bag of bolts.

Even better. HE CHUCKLES EVILLY

Whoa, easy.

HE EXHALES That would have been a disaster.

The tactile sensory therapy room will provide relaxation

as you feel the walls in calming darkness.

Uh, darkness?

We will provide soothing music for you as well.

Flower? Yeah?

This room is strange, OK? Even our dreams can't get in.

Hon, we cannot get our money back, so we might as well breathe

and relax and just feel how soft the walls are!

Ooh, OK. Oh, yeah, this is... this is nice. Yeah.

It's kind of like being wrapped in a gigantic fluffy towel.

FLOWER GIGGLES Oof! Sorry, I bumped into you.

Huh? I'm on the other side of the room.

Then... who did I bump into?

THEY YELL

What are you doing in here with us?

Oh, we provide the calming music. And I like the darkness.

This is the creepiest retreat,

and I have done a brief stint on a rutabaga commune, OK?

I know the one, off Highway 60?

With Colin. Yes, we love Colin.

OK, we're leaving.

Wait, wait! We're sorry if the experience wasn't ideal.

We're working out the kinks.

We're new to the town,

we're looking for some customers and some friends.

Oh, we tried too hard. Oh, please stay.

There's just so much to experience at Calm And Get It Studios!

Yoga, painting, blindfolded archery.

OK, fine. One more activity.

But no more dark rooms, OK?

And definitely no blindfolded archery. That does not sound safe.

You know, I have the perfect activity for two busy professionals,

such as yourselves, to cleanse your body and your soul.

XYLOPHONE RINGS

Hey, Weaves, got your text. What's up?

I didn't text you.

Huh? It is I who messaged Bebop.

And it is I who has something to show you!

Uh-oh. You both are familiar with basic human technology

and seem to have no lives.

I have a job for you. Overlord, what are you up to?

Follow me and find out!

What's going on?

I'm going to shoot my very own infomercial

and make a zillion Earth dollars, thanks to my new...

OverBlender 1000! With Dark Matter Technology.

Galaxy patent pending.

The what now? There's a blender situation.

Now, Weaver, you will operate the camera as I speak.

And make sure you get my good side.

Which side is...? Every side is my good side!

Benjo, you'll press play as I make my entrance. Yes!

R0-FL... Me?

You will be my adoring audience.

Oh! SHE PLAYS APPLAUSE

Introducing the best blender in seven galaxies,

the OverBlender 1000 with Dark Matter Technology!

It's unlike any other blender on Earth! Watch this!

A shoe! A fish!

Ah, some bananas! Right, and here we go!

OK.

Huh? What's happening? It's all part of the process.

Oh, no. This is not good. You think?

Well, that there, folks,

is a signature dark-matter gravitational pull kicking in.

Ha-ha-ha! There's nothing it won't suck up and blend!

Whoa! Whoa!

Willow!

HE SIGHS

Finally, an activity that is relaxing.

Right? This Mindful Spatial Detoxing is actually quite calming.

Maybe this place isn't so bad. Yeah. Hm.

Wait a second. We're doing chores!

What? No! We're mindfully... Doing chores!

But why does it feel so good?

This is exactly what we wanted to get away from! You...

You are making us do the centre's chores, aren't you?

No, what?

Just a titch.

OK, fine. We can't afford to pay for help, or for friends.

Do you play pickle ball? Because we're...

FLOWER GRUNTS Argh!

No, we are leaving this time, for real. Jim!

You know, you could just...

Jim!

What is happening?

The blender is sucking up everything!

It's got some design flaws!

Jerry! I thought I lost you!

Willow, help! Overlord, hit the off button!

There isn't one. What?! Are you kidding me?! Come on!

When I upgraded it, something had to be sacrificed!

Willow, when are Mom and Dad coming home?

It's been three hours, so any minute. Hang on, they'll save us!

I'm trying!

Ah, home sweet home.

So it looks like all we needed was a calm drive to decompress.

And a little retail therapy. Mm.

Should we go in? No, no, no. Let's just...

Let's just wait a minute. Just enjoy the peace and quiet.

It won't be the end of the world, you know?

Oh! Whoa! What is going on?!

Overlord, what did you do?!

Argh! Willow, help!

Oh. OVERLORD CHUCKLES

Willow saved the day. Oh. Ha-ha!

Guys?! What? You told me to vacuum!

I swear the house was super tidy

before Overlord decided to charge up his ridiculous dark-matter blender.

We believe you. We should've known he would pull something.

I'm impressed with how you used your protective instincts

to figure things out.

It's a great skill to have for when you get that part-time job.

OK, but never leave us with Overlord again. Ever.

Like never. Oh, no.

I'm glad to see everyone is enjoying their dinner of solid foods.

HE SLURPS

Mmm. My favourite pizza topping.

Passive aggressiveness.

We got something while we were out.

Oh! You got me a new blender!

We bought it for the whole family, which you're welcome to use.

Heh-heh. Wait. This'll won't even blend Jim's second tennis shoe.

Wait, my second tennis...? Fine. we can take it...

No, no, no! No. No. I will make do!

Heh-heh-heh. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you!

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