Original subtitles

Congratulations to the five-time Regional Champions!

Let's hear it for the Ryan Reynolds High Fighting Ewes!

It has been my honour to coach such a hardworking team

to victory over these past few years.

"Coach" is kind of a strong word...

And good thing I got you those energy crystals

because they really seemed to pay off!

We couldn't have done it without you.

To be fair, those crystals were really pretty. True.

Congratulations, girls!

Nice! Ooh, new stuff!

Y'know, even though our classmates don't care,

it's nice to see the school does. Girls, this stuff isn't for you.

It's for our boys' team!

Wait, the terrible boys' team?

You mean the "forfeited a game

"cos they thought the field was haunted" boys' team?

"Afternoon naps in the net" boys' team? Yes, indeedy!

They'll be so excited.

Kinda like how your eyes lit up when you saw the equipment.

Go-o-o-o, Rams!

Go, Rams! Wow...

# The Underwoods The fam of the hour

♪ Hallow Bay's finest Weaver, Willow, Jim and Flower

♪ Things were all good Every day the same

♪ Then, ding-dong Their lives all changed... ♪

Overlord! ♪ Second most wanted in the Cosmos

♪ Sold out his boss Cos space feds were too close

♪ No more running Crushing lives at will

♪ Witness protection Sorry, that's the deal

♪ A fall from grace For someone so celestial

♪ They got a cuz Who's extra-terrestrial

♪ He's super evil And they're super good

♪ It's Overlord And The Underwoods. ♪

You OK there, bud?

Just trying to flip a shoe on my head, ha!

Uh-huh. Why? Oh, everyone's doing it, look.

Ah, not another social media craze.

Do you realise how ridiculous you look?

Oh, hey, look at me, hashtag "flipshoe"!

Whoa! Hey, I did it!

Do it again, I wasn't recording! Oh, OK.

Ahem, uh...

Hey, everyone. Jim Underwood here. Hashtag "dad shoe".

The Notorious D.A.D., baby, baby! Teaching you how to flip a shoe.

It's all in the wrist.

OK, maybe a little less wrist, but, ah...

What weird Earth ritual is this?

It's not weird. Weirdo.

Hmph. We get zero respect!

Who? Humans? Understandable.

Willow's upset because the girls' soccer team

are regional champions, but the boys get all the perks.

They get the nice bus, we never get the field,

and these are our jerseys! OVERLORD LAUGHS

That is simply unfair. You need to fight for justice, sweetie.

Y'know, back in my day... THEY GROAN

...my Ultimate Frisbee team staged a week-long sit-in

to be recognised as a real sport, and we were.

Note to self, look up Ultimate Frisbee

and mercilessly taunt Jim later.

I think the point is you need to talk to Principal Foxcotton

and demand the change that you want to see.

Yeah.

There is a simple explanation for all of this.

Boys are better!

Girls are wobbly and feeble-looking.

Who'd wanna watch them play sports?

I'm not wobbly! Willow, don't listen to him.

The two of you are slightly superior to other female species,

but that is only because you're related to me.

I've been all around the cosmos

and I can confirm, boys do, in fact, rule.

Hmm... What about the lady warriors from Amazonia?

Oh, and the girl-giants from Biggallon?

They bounced you like a ball! Ha-ha-ha!

Quiet! You were pinkie-sworn to silence!

Ha-ha, I do not have pinkies. Shut it!

I don't like your attitude, Ovi.

Yes, boys are great, I've even had one,

but "better"?

Ooh, ooh! Whoa!

Yeah, it just is NOT the word I would use.

Bad examples. I KNOW my team is better than the boys.

I'm pretty sure I'm a better athlete than MOST boys my age.

Ha! Impossible. I've done my research and I have learned

that girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

You're describing a pie! You don't even know what you're talking about.

Au contraire. Even though the boys' team is the worst in the world,

they're probably still better than you girls.

WHISTLE BLOWS

No, don't pass it to me. I'm kicking it to you!

Argh! Oof! Can I use my hands?

They're terribly awful!

I don't know anything about soccer, but even I know this ain't it.

Thank you, that's what I've been... However!

I still think they'd beat you.

They're only terrible by boy standards.

You think THEY could beat us?

Mine! Oof!

They just need a bit of guidance. Right now, they're lumps of coal,

but with a little pressure, they could become diamonds!

Nice and shiny. HE CACKLES

No amount of pressure could turn these lumps into diamonds.

R0-FL? Hey, are you OK there, sweetie?

I'm in timeout because I contradicted Overlord

in front of you lesser-thans.

Oh, come here.

You should not let Overlord just walk all over you, honey.

Oh, Overlord has never walked over me,

he has walked on me.

Once, he used me as a rolling log to cross a lava river.

OK, I think that it's time for you to get out from Overlord's shadow.

Y'know, just become your own person... I mean, robot.

Yes! Then I can be the intergalactic villain

and find my own robot to walk on.

That is not what I meant. I... I have failed you, too.

Back to the shame corner.

No! No, no, no, no. Not back to the shame corner.

What do you wanna do with your own life, R0-FL?

I wanna be the most evil super-villain in the Universe.

Uh, that's Overlord's dream. Don't you have a dream?

As a robot, it's impossible for me to dream

as I do not possess an imagination.

Oh, OK. Let's start with, uh... What're you good at?

Ooh! I'm good with computers. In fact, I am a computer.

Let's start with that! R0-FL GIGGLES

OK! Whoo! You're excited!

PHONE RINGS

Hello? No! Tell them I'm not here...

Not here, huh? Angry students, my favourite.

How can I help you?

Principal Foxcotton, the girls' soccer team are five-time champions.

We demand proper gear, just like the boys.

This is why I don't allow students in here.

I'm no good with conflict.

We need new gear, Foxcotton, and we demand equal treatment.

We have no money left in this year's budget.

Why would you spend the whole soccer budget on a team that never wins?

This is the year they turn it around! Go, Rams!

Honestly, you girls are so good, we didn't think you needed much.

OK, well, what if we play for it?

The girls against the boys, winner gets the gear. Yes! Right?

Id let you play a team of raccoons to get me out of this conversation.

But first, I have to run it by the new boys' soccer coach.

The new what now?

I accept your challenge.

HE CHUCKLES

Over... ton... Overston... Coach Overston.

Who're you talking to?!

You! How did you do this? Easy.

What happened to their regular coach?

Received a lucrative job offer from a prestigious school in Bruges.

Really? No, but by the time he gets to Bruges and back,

I'll have made my point. See you on the soccer box at 5:30!

Slide! Ha-ha-ha! BELL RINGS

Pass here! I'm open!

We are going to crush the boys' team and finally get new gear.

If I'm honest, I'm a little nervous

about the boys' new coach. Why?

Cock-a-doodle-do!

HORN BEEPS

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Let's get this show on the road!

Cock-a-doodle-do! Ha-ha-ha!

What are you doing?! My ram impersonation.

That's not what a ram sounds like. Hey, can you guys just leave?!

We're in the middle of practice!

Get off the field! It's the boys' turn.

Yeah, get off the field! Ah!

You had the field this morning.

Did we? Yeah.

Well, apparently we did. No matter, I have a secret weapon.

Signed permission slip! THEY CHUCKLE

It's legit. It's legit. It's legit!

Too bad!

So sad.

How did you get Foxcotton to sign that?

Pick a card, any card.

Well, baste my beard, how did you know that magic

is my favourite thing in the whole wide world?

Now sign it. Mmm!

FOXCOTTON HUMS HAPPILY

Ah, excellent! Ha-ha-ha! Don't need these.

OVERLORD CACKLES

Well, that wasn't magic.

Foxcotton!

Get him, Willow!

Look at little Foxcotton run!

Wait, have we met?

Nope, never. Oh.

Sweet pashmina. Oh, thank you. Soft!

BOYS GRUNT, UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS

Kick the soccer, into the soccer!

It's not that difficult to understand.

Oof! Ah...

Coach Overston, I just don't think we're good at this.

You're not. We just need to harness your natural manly abilities.

Maybe if I got a pool and riled up a crocodile, I could...

No! Oh! Ha-ha! I have just the drill!

And now, squeeze! Squeeze that coal!

Wait, Coach, why're we doing this?

We're not even supposed to use our hands. Urgh!

This drill is about two things, Steve, strengthening your hands...

and making me diamonds! Ha-ha-ha!

Now soccer that coal! Ah!

Barry, pay attention! Useless...

ENGINE REVS, BOYS GRUNT

Ow! My lower lumbar... Silence, Steve!

Use your legs, feel the burn.

Show me your soccer!

Guys, I give up.

OVERLORD CACKLES, BARRY YELLS

Hang on, Barry! You're doing great.

Somehow... you're all are worse than when we started. Silence, Steve!

At least Barry held on for 14 blocks before he gave up!

As punishment, I shall pick the two weakest players to fight...

to the death...

in a pit full of scorpions!

Yeah, that has to be a metaphor, right?

HISSING

Oh, wow, no, yeah, there's a real pit of scorpions.

Argh! You're all so bad!

You know what? You don't even deserve my scorpion pit. New plan!

Ah!

Just... Hey! Whatcha doing? You were right, Flower.

I have tried my hand at computers, and I am excelling.

That is great! I have unlocked the nuclear codes

for America, Russia, North Korea, Zimbabwe...

No! No! What? What, why?

Er... OK. Hey!

There... erm... Oh, OK.

What about sports? Hmm...

Huh?

I don't know. Erm, let's see.

How about... track and field? Running in circles? How very human!

OK, er, what about gymnastics? Chalk is bad from my servos.

Swimming?

Fair enough.

Why are you helping me? Because you're family, silly.

I want you to achieve your dreams,

just like I would any of my other kids.

Oh, I am better than your kids. SHE CHUCKLES

What does that guy do? Oh, he's the referee.

They control the game. They hand out penalties.

Nobody likes them, but everyone listens to them.

Ah, like the Overlord of the game? I get it.

Yeah... I suppose you could put it like that.

Woo! Regular ref went to "Bru-ges". Ref-bot is filling in!

There's my girl. Yes! Go...

OK, ladies. Let's break down today's path to victory.

SHE CHUCKLES OK, now, remember,

there is no "I" in "team",

but there is an "I" in "imagination", uh-huh,

and there is an "I" in "integrity"...

Hey, sweetie! ...and those are both words...

that we use...

when we... do this. Er, who is that?

She is from the SWA! The Soccer World Association.

SHE GASPS She must be a scout.

THEY MUMBLE EXCITEDLY Whoa, the SWA? What an honour!

And now, the mega-awesome, super-skilled,

and alarmingly manly, Ryan Reynolds Rams!

CROWD CHEERS

Should we be worried about this? No way!

Come on. Let's do this. Let's go.

And here come the Ewes.

CROWD CHEERS Go, Willow!

THEY BLEAT

Yes! SHE BLEATS

Go, Ewes!

The school has enough money for a ref-bot

but not for our gear?

Why does the ref-bot have a whistle? Does it even have lips?

Ex-squeeze me? Also, there are ref-bots?

OK, come on, guys. We got this. Let's go.

Come on! Yeah!

EVIL LAUGH

Good plan, R0-FL. Now we can bury them together.

Foul! Yellow card! Ouch!

Don't tell me what to do. This is my show.

But I thought we were marginally amicable associates?

Well, you thought... I don't care what you thought.

Ooh!

Can you believe this?

EVIL LAUGH

Yes! Ha-ha-ha! What have you done?

Nothing but be an amazing coach.

No, you cheated somehow. I know it.

We don't need to cheat to beat the girls' team.

Guess we'll have to cheat to beat the girls' team.

Now go forth... and conquer... the Ewes! Ha-ha-ha!

Oh... Oh, come on! This thing was expensive.

Good luck winning that equipment now.

EVIL LAUGH

It's OK, honey. WHISTLE BLOWS

'Go on, girls, we got this.'

HE GRUNTS Ooh!

Offside! Offside!

Ooh! Ooh!

THEY CHEER Yeah! Yeah!

Ref! That wasn't fair.

No backtalk, coach. I'm the Overlord here.

Final warning. No, I am Overlord.

Na-na... I can't believe this.

WHISTLE BLOWS Half-time!

R0-FL, you come back here right now.

Warning! Yellow card. What was that?

No shenanigans at my game, and I mean it.

It's OK. Oh, hey, girl! He-he.

Losing is not an option...

...but I've come prepared!

I'm going to add a little gravity to their shoes,

if you know what I mean. EVIL LAUGH

We never know what you mean. Zip it, Stephen.

I can't believe we're tied. We should be crushing them.

How did they get so good so fast? Well, except Barry.

HE CLUCKS

All right, ladies. Here are your half-time crystals.

EVIL LAUGH That's for you, some rose quartz.

Ooh! Whoa!

Whoa, I can barely lift my feet. Are you all right?

How heavy are these crystals?

Oh, no, don't you...

Ooh!

OK, timeout, timeout. Timeout for the Ewes.

Guys, I'm so sorry.

I totally made us challenge the boys,

and now we look like losers.

Yeah, we're losing to the biggest losers.

We'll never get new gear.

Better tell my mom not to throw out the egg cartons.

Ladies, I have a confession to make.

All of those times you won...

it actually wasn't because of the crystals.

Yeah, we know. Oh.

You won because you are an amazing team,

and that is all you ever needed,

and even if you lose today, I just want you to remember

that the same boiling water that softens the potato,

hardens the egg for the... egg salad.

Ew. Yeah, that is right.

We are the "Ews". No, just meant "ew".

Oh. But you're right.

She is?

Not about the "egg salad" thing, about how amazing we are.

We've never given up before, and we're not gonna give up now.

Oh! Ow, my face.

Seriously? He's still flipping shoes?

Wait a second? Wait...

Someone messed with our shoes. Take them off.

How can we play without shoes? OK, we are the best girls...

Scratch that. We are the best TEAM in the region.

OK, we don't need shoes to beat these boys.

We don't need new equipment, we don't even need a coach!

No offence, Ms Pressburger. Fair enough.

I've always seen myself more as an administrator of good vibes,

so... peace out!

Listen, there's a scout out there watching us.

Let's give her a show.

Baa! Baa! Baa! OK, take them off.

OK, guys, let's hold them off. Hold them off.

OK, OK.

THEY CHEER

Pragnar's comet!

Ugh! You won't take that, grass. LAUGHS MANIACALLY

OK, check this out. All right, come on, everyone!

Whoo!

All right. Just... All right, just like this, folks. Come on.

W... Whoo!

All right. OK, so, we're gonna... we're gonna start here on the right.

You in the hat, and then we're gonna...

OK, we're gonna start... Ready?

Whoo!

Can it, Underwood.

One minute injury time.

OVERLORD SCREAMS

Out of my way, insect! Foul! Foul! Ejection!

Ooh! Bot down!

CROWD CHEERS

Full-time. Game over. Bot still down!

Oh! What happened?

I have no peripheral vision in this helmet.

We did it! THEY CHEER

Goal! Goal!

I can't believe we lost. We're boys.

The equipment is yours, fair and square.

Well, it's about time.

Well, you did it.

You were so good, you're officially the boys' team now.

Have you learned nothing? Well, I haven't... but YOU have.

Oh, this'll be good. See...

This was my plan from the start.

I used the boys' team to make you even better players.

Only by being challenged could you reach your full potential.

I only said you couldn't win so that you would win,

and now that you've won, I'm a winner, too!

Just admit that you lost.

The girls are just as good as the boys,

and sometimes, they're better.

Say it! HE CLEARS THROAT

Very well. I, er...

I'd just like to say... HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

HE WHIMPERS

Uh... Eurgh! HE CLEARS THROAT

I forgot something.

Yeah, Hacky Snack, nice! You know, boys, I don't know.

Even though we lost, I still feel really good.

I regret everything. I quit!

Aw!

Can we just go home? I can't stand the humiliation.

Oh, oh, the scout's walking over. What do I do? What do I say?

Don't worry, honey. You will be great.

Hi! You were a real firecracker out there today.

Thank you. I-I'm so glad.

Not you, I'm talking to your ref-bot.

What now? Sorry, what?

I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Lonnie Tawny.

I'm with a division of the SWA

or the Grand Referee And Play Executive Subdivision.

GRAPES for short.

I'd like to purchase this ref-bot. Wait, I thought you were a scout?

Oh, I am... for referees.

I recruit the best and the brightest to play in the pro games.

Begone, fool! She's not for sale.

I'll give you a million dollars. Sold!

No, Overlord, no. R0-FL is our family.

Ref-bot not for sale! That's my bot. Sorry.

But-but you... But-but she...

Come on, you ragamuffins, let's go get some ice cream.

L-Let's... Let's think about this!

Do you have any idea how much ice cream

I could have bought with a million dollars?!

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