Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:10,876
Oh, my gosh.
2
00:00:10,961 --> 00:00:14,616
That... is that...?
3
00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:17,003
Is that peanut oil
and burnt hair?
4
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:20,828
- It's perfume, lard ass.
- I wear it on special occasions.
5
00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:22,475
What's the special occasion?
6
00:00:22,559 --> 00:00:25,083
Well, I was hoping
someone would sack up
7
00:00:25,165 --> 00:00:27,124
and ask me
to the winter formal,
8
00:00:27,207 --> 00:00:29,600
especially since
I'm offering my date
9
00:00:29,683 --> 00:00:33,383
100% guaranteed,
no strings attached,
10
00:00:33,463 --> 00:00:36,292
porn-quality sex.
11
00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:38,898
But I can't keep this offer
open all day, RJ.
12
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,286
- What are you?
- The ShamWow guy?
13
00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:41,937
- Well,
- Raven already asked me,
14
00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:45,154
and he's waiting
for his answer.
15
00:00:45,235 --> 00:00:48,108
Well, I won't keep you
in suspense, Lily.
16
00:00:50,102 --> 00:00:51,233
My answer... look out!
17
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:55,273
- You saved my life!
- Calm down.
18
00:00:55,358 --> 00:00:58,535
Calm down.
19
00:00:58,616 --> 00:01:01,880
- Hey!
- What the hell, Roger?
20
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,658
Sorry, ass napkin.
21
00:01:03,743 --> 00:01:05,788
School won't pay to fix
the brakes on this yellow turd!
22
00:01:05,871 --> 00:01:07,568
- Come on, dude!
- You expect us to believe that?
23
00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:10,003
- For real, homes!
- Budget cuts!
24
00:01:10,086 --> 00:01:12,697
- God.
- You're crazy, man.
25
00:01:12,779 --> 00:01:14,041
Hey!
What the hell?
26
00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:17,912
It's called
walking to school, fatty!
27
00:01:17,993 --> 00:01:21,736
My name is RJ Berger,
and taking the bus sucks.
28
00:01:28,115 --> 00:01:30,248
So, plans for after?
29
00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:32,637
Well, I'm not really sure
what Max has planned
30
00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:34,679
for after the dance,
but I'm sure it'll be
31
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,242
something romantic.
32
00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:42,065
Bro, I'm gonna
get her so drunk,
33
00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:44,541
she's not gonna care
where it ends up.
34
00:01:44,624 --> 00:01:47,105
- Hey-oh!
- Yes!
35
00:01:47,187 --> 00:01:50,495
God, all people can do is
talk about this stupid formal.
36
00:01:50,576 --> 00:01:52,273
I'm telling you, dude,
school dances,
37
00:01:52,357 --> 00:01:54,142
they're just a conspiracy
created by
38
00:01:54,226 --> 00:01:56,010
the tuxedo rental industry.
39
00:01:56,094 --> 00:01:57,748
That's why
we're gonna blow it off.
40
00:01:57,832 --> 00:02:00,313
- We're gonna order a pizza
- Rock Band
41
00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:01,702
till our fingers bleed.
42
00:02:01,786 --> 00:02:03,701
- It's gonna be epic.
- Epic.
43
00:02:03,785 --> 00:02:06,135
Not as epic as the sex I'll be
having after the winter formal.
44
00:02:06,218 --> 00:02:07,610
What the hell
did you just say?
45
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,435
You heard me, losers.
46
00:02:09,519 --> 00:02:12,131
I'm gonna get some bite marks
on my hang-low Saturday.
47
00:02:12,213 --> 00:02:15,085
Kevin, assuming you're even
capable of getting a boner
48
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,474
after sitting on your balls
for ten years,
49
00:02:17,557 --> 00:02:20,038
what girl in her right mind
would point her heels
50
00:02:20,121 --> 00:02:22,819
to the sky for your disgusting
doorbell penis?
51
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,468
Say whatever you want,
asshole,
52
00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:26,686
but I've got raw data
on my side.
53
00:02:26,769 --> 00:02:28,074
What does that mean?
54
00:02:28,159 --> 00:02:30,248
Fact.
55
00:02:30,331 --> 00:02:32,246
43% of all high school girls
lose their virginity
56
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,767
at school-sponsored dances.
57
00:02:33,851 --> 00:02:35,853
You want to know the percentage
of high school boys
58
00:02:35,937 --> 00:02:38,722
that lose their virginity
staying home playing Rock Band?
59
00:02:38,804 --> 00:02:42,025
You two.
To each other.
60
00:02:42,106 --> 00:02:45,022
I'm saying this
as your friend, guys.
61
00:02:45,104 --> 00:02:47,106
You should really look
into killing yourselves.
62
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:57,317
- What if he's right?
- You know, Kevin Stern.
63
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,664
Dude, we're not
killing ourselves.
64
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,836
No, I know, but what if he's
right about the winter formal?
65
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,748
Oh, I thought
they were a conspiracy
66
00:03:03,832 --> 00:03:05,964
started by
the tuxedo rental industry.
67
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:09,398
Well, yeah, but if it's also
a guaranteed lay, who cares?
68
00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:12,265
Dude, what,
so now you want to go?
69
00:03:12,348 --> 00:03:14,089
Man, the thing
is this Saturday.
70
00:03:14,173 --> 00:03:16,697
- We don't even have dates.
- Laverne, Shirley, let's go.
71
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,086
Coach, what's the quickest way
72
00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:19,954
to get dates
to the winter formal?
73
00:03:20,038 --> 00:03:21,823
- I don't know.
- How much you willing
74
00:03:21,907 --> 00:03:23,778
- to shell out?
- For what?
75
00:03:25,731 --> 00:03:26,732
Oh.
76
00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:28,646
Oh, you mean for real dates.
77
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,167
Oh, well, uh...
78
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,600
you got your 99 slaps yet?
79
00:03:33,683 --> 00:03:35,467
- Our what?
- Your 99...
80
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:41,682
The drunk guy at the bar
asks 100 women
81
00:03:41,765 --> 00:03:43,114
to have sex with him, right?
82
00:03:43,199 --> 00:03:45,898
Now, 99 of 'em
gonna slap his drunk ass.
83
00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:49,636
But there's always
that one horny dime
84
00:03:49,717 --> 00:03:51,849
that's gonna follow him
into the men's room.
85
00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:53,456
It's a numbers game.
86
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:54,977
All you got to do
is ask enough girls.
87
00:03:55,062 --> 00:03:56,585
You're bound to find one
that'll say yes.
88
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,064
- Right?
- Yeah.
89
00:03:59,147 --> 00:04:00,627
- Right.
- Now move your asses.
90
00:04:00,711 --> 00:04:02,321
Time to climb some rope
and get some calluses
91
00:04:02,406 --> 00:04:03,755
on them girly hands.
92
00:04:03,839 --> 00:04:05,754
♪ Hey oh ♪
93
00:04:05,838 --> 00:04:09,146
♪ Hey oh, hey oh, hey oh ♪
94
00:04:11,966 --> 00:04:14,055
Yeah.
95
00:04:14,139 --> 00:04:16,402
♪ Met a girl
like in my dreams ♪
96
00:04:16,485 --> 00:04:18,922
- Really? Yeah?
- Yes!
97
00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:22,443
♪ That girl
could be my angel ♪
98
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,484
Oh, my God!
99
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,831
- Me? Really?
- Of course!
100
00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:30,262
Want to go
to the prom this year?
101
00:04:30,347 --> 00:04:31,871
I'd love to!
102
00:04:31,956 --> 00:04:33,087
- Yes.
- Yes.
103
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,130
Yes.
104
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:45,345
Remember, RJ, worst thing
they can do is say no.
105
00:04:50,294 --> 00:04:52,165
Let's be honest.
106
00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:53,511
You didn't get that tongue
pierced for nothing, right?
107
00:04:57,856 --> 00:05:01,163
Most guys
wouldn't be caught dead
108
00:05:01,245 --> 00:05:03,117
with a deaf girl!
109
00:05:03,201 --> 00:05:05,682
But, hey,
I'm not most guys!
110
00:05:12,805 --> 00:05:14,111
Hey, you know what
my favorite color is?
111
00:05:14,196 --> 00:05:16,285
Rainbow.
112
00:05:16,369 --> 00:05:18,153
Ever thought about pitching
a no-hitter for the other team?
113
00:05:25,278 --> 00:05:26,584
Okay, so apparently
there are worse things
114
00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:28,192
they can do than say no.
115
00:05:28,277 --> 00:05:31,323
- How'd it go for you?
- Not so hot.
116
00:05:31,406 --> 00:05:33,670
Yeah, you know,
it's like that scene
117
00:05:33,753 --> 00:05:37,234
in Madea Goes to Jail
when Madea's all,
118
00:05:37,316 --> 00:05:42,017
"Ooh, girl, you need get
yourself a date to the dance!"
119
00:05:42,098 --> 00:05:44,056
I was... that's sort of what
I wanted to ask you.
120
00:05:48,443 --> 00:05:50,271
We may have to go
plan B, dude.
121
00:05:50,355 --> 00:05:51,922
Who do you want to try first,
eighth graders
122
00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:53,443
- or pregnant juniors?
- Neither.
123
00:05:53,528 --> 00:05:55,530
- Dude, I've been thinking...
- I know.
124
00:05:55,614 --> 00:05:57,094
Rock Band's
starting to sound pretty good.
125
00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:58,658
No.
126
00:05:58,743 --> 00:06:01,310
Look, my dating life
up until now
127
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:05,573
has been a complete disaster,
and if I'm not careful,
128
00:06:05,654 --> 00:06:07,873
my virginity will take on,
like, a life of its own,
129
00:06:07,957 --> 00:06:10,133
and then I'll never lose it.
130
00:06:10,216 --> 00:06:15,178
So instead of making this hard
on myself, you know,
131
00:06:15,259 --> 00:06:18,436
I was thinking about maybe
going with the one girl
132
00:06:18,518 --> 00:06:20,912
who's been lusting after my dong
the whole time.
133
00:06:20,996 --> 00:06:23,476
- Oh, God!
- Don't even say it.
134
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,039
Miles, I know
we make fun of her,
135
00:06:25,124 --> 00:06:27,692
but she's been our best friend
136
00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:31,345
since as long
as I can remember.
137
00:06:31,427 --> 00:06:34,212
I mean, in some ways,
she's already the first girl
138
00:06:34,295 --> 00:06:35,775
I've ever slept with.
139
00:06:38,424 --> 00:06:40,557
In preschool,
we were nap partners.
140
00:06:43,162 --> 00:06:45,338
- Max.
- Tommy.
141
00:06:45,422 --> 00:06:47,511
In grade school,
whenever I wouldn't get picked
142
00:06:47,595 --> 00:06:52,252
for teams at recess, which was
pretty much every day,
143
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,987
Lily was always there
to play with me.
144
00:06:59,678 --> 00:07:02,115
Things only started to
get weird when we hit puberty.
145
00:07:02,199 --> 00:07:05,507
RJ and Lily
sitting in a tree.
146
00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:10,764
Oh!
147
00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:16,460
But the fact is,
when the chips are down,
148
00:07:16,544 --> 00:07:18,197
you two are the only
real friends I can count on.
149
00:07:21,194 --> 00:07:23,632
I'm begging you, dude,
don't do it!
150
00:07:25,584 --> 00:07:27,412
You deserve better, bro.
151
00:07:27,497 --> 00:07:28,759
I'm looking out for you!
152
00:07:30,888 --> 00:07:32,803
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second?
153
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,323
I was wondering
if maybe you and I
154
00:07:34,408 --> 00:07:37,237
could go to the dance together?
155
00:07:37,321 --> 00:07:39,715
RJ Berger,
you've just made me
156
00:07:39,798 --> 00:07:41,713
the happiest girl
in the world!
157
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:51,538
I still can't believe
you asked mini Chewbacca
158
00:07:51,622 --> 00:07:53,928
to the winter formal!
159
00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:56,101
Dude, you're not gonna
make me change my mind.
160
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,536
In fact, I'm starting
to think it's destiny.
161
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,186
According to Lily,
she's the only one who can
162
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,013
handle my freak piece, anyway.
163
00:08:03,097 --> 00:08:04,708
All I'm saying is,
good luck getting through
164
00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,925
that overgrown crotch jungle.
165
00:08:07,009 --> 00:08:08,315
Hey, you might need
to hire a sherpa
166
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,010
- to help guide you in.
- You know, screw you, Miles.
167
00:08:10,095 --> 00:08:11,270
At least I have a date.
168
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:13,663
You know, while I'm off
becoming a man,
169
00:08:13,747 --> 00:08:15,880
you'll be at home,
playing Good Day Sunshine
170
00:08:15,964 --> 00:08:17,705
on expert, alone.
171
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:22,185
Ohh... not so fast,
my suddenly prickish friend.
172
00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:24,269
See, I'm not done
asking girls out.
173
00:08:24,353 --> 00:08:27,182
I've gotten my 99 slaps,
and I'm going big-game hunting
174
00:08:27,266 --> 00:08:29,007
for number 100.
175
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,138
- Uh-huh.
- And, uh, who's the lucky girl?
176
00:08:31,222 --> 00:08:33,398
For me, RJ,
177
00:08:33,483 --> 00:08:35,572
I'm going for the long shot
of all long shots.
178
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,483
Robin Pretnar,
I come to you today
179
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:53,700
wearing blue,
the color of my heart
180
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,960
and my balls.
181
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:01,393
But you can change all that
by agreeing
182
00:09:01,478 --> 00:09:04,525
to take this relationship
to the next level.
183
00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:07,655
Look, we've had
our first kiss.
184
00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:09,784
We've had
our first fight.
185
00:09:09,869 --> 00:09:11,348
You know,
I've touched boob,
186
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:13,348
and you've grazed nut.
187
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:15,610
So what do you say,
Robin Pretnar?
188
00:09:15,694 --> 00:09:18,740
Will you go with me
to the winter formal?
189
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,565
What the hell?
190
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:22,783
I'm tired of attractive guys
191
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:25,827
who wouldn't flatten me
during sex.
192
00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:27,695
Pick me up
at my house Saturday.
193
00:09:31,214 --> 00:09:33,521
Oh, my God.
194
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,521
I'm taking Robin Pretnar
to the winter formal!
195
00:09:48,343 --> 00:09:50,563
Okay, you want to see
a rough sketch of my dress?
196
00:09:50,647 --> 00:09:51,996
Isn't that, like,
bad luck or something?
197
00:09:52,082 --> 00:09:53,693
This isn't our wedding.
198
00:09:53,778 --> 00:09:55,997
I mean, not yet.
Don't worry.
199
00:09:56,082 --> 00:09:57,997
I'm stitching in
easy-access slots all over.
200
00:09:59,908 --> 00:10:01,606
Yeah.
201
00:10:01,691 --> 00:10:02,909
I can tell
you're getting nervous
202
00:10:02,994 --> 00:10:04,430
about the big night,
but relax.
203
00:10:04,517 --> 00:10:06,431
I'll take care of everything...
204
00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:11,130
The music, candles...
the lube.
205
00:10:11,212 --> 00:10:13,649
All right, well,
I gotta get to class now.
206
00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:15,430
Okay.
207
00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:17,430
I don't even
know you anymore.
208
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:21,084
- Jenny.
- You're my girlfriend, Jenny.
209
00:10:21,168 --> 00:10:23,997
I'm sorry, I just... I don't
feel the same anymore.
210
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,561
Make up your mind!
211
00:10:28,298 --> 00:10:29,734
Made up.
212
00:10:33,516 --> 00:10:34,995
RJ, one more thing.
213
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:40,693
Saturday night,
I need you to promise me
214
00:10:40,777 --> 00:10:44,476
that this is really
gonna happen.
215
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:45,517
I promise, Lily.
216
00:10:54,690 --> 00:10:57,170
Dude, are you ready
to drop your lunch tray
217
00:10:57,255 --> 00:10:59,693
and worship at the altar
of my awesomeness?
218
00:10:59,777 --> 00:11:02,301
One Miles Davis Jenner...
219
00:11:02,386 --> 00:11:03,735
Your middle name
isn't Davis.
220
00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:04,734
...is going
to the winter formal
221
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:08,171
with none other
than the Robin Pretnar!
222
00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:09,953
- Really?
- Yeah!
223
00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:12,736
So choke on that,
animal lover!
224
00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:14,344
What, is she dying
or something?
225
00:11:14,429 --> 00:11:16,083
I don't know!
226
00:11:16,169 --> 00:11:17,083
I guess she just couldn't resist
a man in a tux.
227
00:11:17,169 --> 00:11:19,650
Oh, my God!
228
00:11:19,734 --> 00:11:21,257
Dude, you have pudding
on your...
229
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,867
Oh, totally cool, dude.
230
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,736
That's what
the cummerbund's for.
231
00:11:26,822 --> 00:11:28,650
Oh, my God!
232
00:11:28,735 --> 00:11:31,085
Dude, our first ever
double date!
233
00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:33,782
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, about that...
234
00:11:33,866 --> 00:11:36,825
um, I don't think Robin's
the type of girl
235
00:11:36,909 --> 00:11:38,781
who wants to share a limo
with the likes of Lily.
236
00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:41,391
- Not cool, dude.
- Exactly, RJ.
237
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:44,217
Lily is not cool enough
to be seen with my girl.
238
00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:45,999
All right,
listen, asshole.
239
00:11:46,084 --> 00:11:48,434
I don't know what kind of spell
or date-rape drug
240
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,218
you used on Robin Pretnar,
but while you're obsessively
241
00:11:51,302 --> 00:11:53,565
trying to hide your pit stains,
I'll be having fun
242
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:55,609
with my sure thing.
243
00:11:55,694 --> 00:11:58,218
Yeah, "thing"
being the operative word.
244
00:11:58,303 --> 00:11:59,609
You suck, Miles.
245
00:12:19,132 --> 00:12:20,525
Hey.
246
00:12:20,611 --> 00:12:22,482
Listen, RJ, I have, um...
247
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:25,004
I have a favor to ask you.
248
00:12:25,089 --> 00:12:27,527
The whole world's
about to find out that,
249
00:12:27,612 --> 00:12:31,572
um, Max and I are done,
for good this time.
250
00:12:31,655 --> 00:12:35,311
- Wow.
- Uh, I'm... I'm so sorry.
251
00:12:35,395 --> 00:12:40,226
I-I'm really... sorry.
252
00:12:40,309 --> 00:12:42,529
Yeah, so, um, anyways,
253
00:12:42,614 --> 00:12:46,531
I was wondering, before
20 of his douche bag friends
254
00:12:46,615 --> 00:12:51,924
ask me to the formal,
if maybe you might...
255
00:12:52,006 --> 00:12:57,098
be willing to maybe...
go with me?
256
00:12:57,181 --> 00:12:59,096
As a friend?
257
00:13:02,443 --> 00:13:05,055
I would be honored to,
my lady.
258
00:13:08,532 --> 00:13:10,577
My parents can drive us.
259
00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:14,100
Uh, actually my friend
has a limo, so...
260
00:13:14,185 --> 00:13:16,927
Leave it to you to have
everything worked out already.
261
00:13:17,012 --> 00:13:19,188
- Pick me up at 8:00?
- 8:00 would be great.
262
00:13:19,273 --> 00:13:20,753
Won't be late.
263
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,580
Thanks, RJ.
264
00:13:23,665 --> 00:13:26,320
This really means a lot.
265
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:27,754
And I promise
we'll have fun.
266
00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:38,018
What were you talking
to her about, freak?
267
00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:40,062
Uh, science stuff.
268
00:13:40,148 --> 00:13:41,932
If you ever go near her again
269
00:13:42,017 --> 00:13:44,106
with anything but a book
in your hand,
270
00:13:44,192 --> 00:13:46,107
I'll stab you
in your frickin' juggler vein.
271
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,542
Got it?
272
00:13:47,628 --> 00:13:49,368
It's "jugular."
273
00:13:52,107 --> 00:13:55,197
Got it.
274
00:13:58,935 --> 00:14:01,721
- We have made progress.
- Epic progress!
275
00:14:01,806 --> 00:14:03,329
In, like, three months,
we've gone from
276
00:14:03,415 --> 00:14:05,156
a couple of nobodies to taking
277
00:14:05,242 --> 00:14:07,810
the two hottest sophomores
to the winter formal.
278
00:14:07,895 --> 00:14:10,332
- Pretty epic.
- What's wrong?
279
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,985
You pull a muscle?
280
00:14:13,070 --> 00:14:16,334
No, I just, um, I don't know
what to do about Lily.
281
00:14:16,419 --> 00:14:18,334
Oh, just do
what I've always done.
282
00:14:18,419 --> 00:14:19,899
Avoid looking directly at her.
283
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,727
Dude, I'm talking
about the dance.
284
00:14:22,812 --> 00:14:24,291
I mean...
285
00:14:24,377 --> 00:14:25,727
There's no way around it.
286
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:27,641
I mean, I have to take her
instead of Jenny.
287
00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:29,598
- I asked her first.
- Hold on.
288
00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:32,731
Let me finish stretching.
289
00:14:32,816 --> 00:14:36,602
Okay, RJ, I'm doing this
for your own good.
290
00:14:36,686 --> 00:14:37,818
Oh!
291
00:14:37,904 --> 00:14:40,123
- If you don't take
- Jenny Swanson
292
00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:42,342
to the winter formal,
you will take that mistake
293
00:14:42,427 --> 00:14:44,255
to your grave.
You hear me?
294
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,822
Your shallow, empty grave!
295
00:14:46,907 --> 00:14:50,650
- Berger! Jenner!
- In my office, now!
296
00:14:50,735 --> 00:14:51,779
Aah!
297
00:14:54,213 --> 00:14:55,563
Like I said, Coach,
298
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:57,521
we were practicing
wrestling moves.
299
00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:58,868
Mm-hmm.
300
00:14:58,954 --> 00:15:01,261
You expect me
to believe that crap?
301
00:15:01,347 --> 00:15:03,610
First off, I've never seen
one of you two cream puffs
302
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,827
break a sweat.
303
00:15:04,914 --> 00:15:07,090
And second,
that wasn't wrestling.
304
00:15:07,175 --> 00:15:09,307
That was two lady dogs fighting
to sniff each other's ass.
305
00:15:09,393 --> 00:15:10,481
Now, I want to know
the truth, damn it,
306
00:15:10,568 --> 00:15:11,917
and I want to know it now!
307
00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:15,267
- Well...
- I sort of agreed
308
00:15:15,352 --> 00:15:18,529
to go with two people
to the winter formal.
309
00:15:18,614 --> 00:15:19,876
That better not
be one of 'em.
310
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,661
- What?
- No, no!
311
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:24,400
Coach, I asked my friend Lily.
312
00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:26,837
Um, Lily Miran.
313
00:15:26,922 --> 00:15:28,532
She's, um...
314
00:15:28,618 --> 00:15:29,880
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the one that looks like
315
00:15:29,966 --> 00:15:31,881
one of them Klingons
from Star Wars.
316
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:32,881
Star Trek.
317
00:15:32,968 --> 00:15:34,970
I don't give a damn!
318
00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:38,015
So I asked her,
but then Jenny Swanson
319
00:15:38,101 --> 00:15:39,929
asked me to go with her.
320
00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:41,537
I mean, as a friend.
321
00:15:41,623 --> 00:15:43,320
Jenny's been my dream girl
since, like...
322
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:44,973
Third grade.
323
00:15:45,059 --> 00:15:49,368
And I have to go with her,
but if I do,
324
00:15:49,453 --> 00:15:51,673
it'll crush Lily.
325
00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:55,371
And Max will crush me
if I go with Jenny.
326
00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:57,153
- Mm-hmm.
- See what I mean?
327
00:15:57,239 --> 00:15:59,415
Yeah, I see.
328
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,676
Yeah, I see loud and clear.
329
00:16:06,721 --> 00:16:10,246
Now, you listen here, Berger,
and you listen good.
330
00:16:10,331 --> 00:16:13,508
Max is gonna kick your ass
no matter what you do,
331
00:16:13,595 --> 00:16:16,119
and little Star Warsgirl
is gonna keep them ankles
332
00:16:16,204 --> 00:16:18,423
in the air
no matter who you go with.
333
00:16:18,509 --> 00:16:20,990
But missing out on taking
Jenny Swanson to the formal?
334
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,862
That's some stuff you gonna
take to your grave, son.
335
00:16:24,948 --> 00:16:26,863
Finally, a voice of reason.
336
00:16:26,949 --> 00:16:28,951
But isn't that
the wrong thing to do?
337
00:16:29,037 --> 00:16:31,909
- To losers, maybe.
- But you ask yourself, Berger,
338
00:16:31,994 --> 00:16:34,040
when you look back
on your sorry-ass life
339
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,694
30 years from now,
do you want to be the loser
340
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,912
who did the right thing,
341
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,653
or do you want to be the stud
who did Jenny Swanson?
342
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,970
Come on.
343
00:17:07,056 --> 00:17:09,711
Hey, so, um, I kind of want
to do this alone,
344
00:17:09,797 --> 00:17:11,886
so if you could find
something else to do
345
00:17:11,972 --> 00:17:13,582
until the bus gets here?
346
00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:16,845
- Yeah.
- No problem.
347
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,108
Hey there, handsome.
348
00:17:21,194 --> 00:17:24,807
How does your last full day
of virginity feel?
349
00:17:24,892 --> 00:17:26,371
Uh, you know,
about the same.
350
00:17:26,457 --> 00:17:28,285
The same?
351
00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:29,939
I've been through three pairs
of panties today.
352
00:17:31,765 --> 00:17:34,115
I'm just kidding.
God.
353
00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:35,855
Um, Lily,
there's something
354
00:17:35,941 --> 00:17:36,942
I really want
to talk to you about.
355
00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:39,075
- Wait.
- Me first.
356
00:17:39,161 --> 00:17:42,773
Okay, so I know I come on
a little strong sometimes,
357
00:17:42,859 --> 00:17:45,296
but it just...
358
00:17:45,382 --> 00:17:47,907
I don't know what it is
about you, RJ Berger.
359
00:17:47,992 --> 00:17:50,124
I mean, ever since
we were little kids,
360
00:17:50,211 --> 00:17:53,040
even before
I knew how smart you were
361
00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:56,520
and how funny and sweet
you could be,
362
00:17:56,606 --> 00:18:00,436
even before
I knew about your... gift,
363
00:18:00,522 --> 00:18:03,046
for some reason,
I always had this feeling
364
00:18:03,132 --> 00:18:06,788
that you were... the one,
that we would lose
365
00:18:06,873 --> 00:18:09,528
our virginity to each other.
366
00:18:09,614 --> 00:18:12,008
So I just need to say it
one more time.
367
00:18:17,532 --> 00:18:21,710
You've made me
the happiest girl in the world.
368
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,451
Lily, wait, there's something
I need to talk to you about.
369
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,886
- What is it my I...
- Aah!
370
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:37,286
My name is RJ Berger,
and oh, my God.
371
00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:41,462
Next on
The Hard Times of RJ Berger...
372
00:18:41,548 --> 00:18:43,289
There just ain't no telling
if she's gonna make it.
373
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,986
But we all gonna be
praying for her.
374
00:18:46,072 --> 00:18:48,640
Get in your tux and forget
about this for a while.
375
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:51,817
Have a good night
for the both of you.
376
00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:53,904
Hi, RJ.
377
00:18:53,991 --> 00:18:55,471
What the hell
are you doing here?
378
00:18:55,557 --> 00:18:57,124
Funny, I was just about
to ask you the same thing.
379
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,693
Yo, Wankerton High School!
380
00:19:01,779 --> 00:19:03,258
I want to say something.
381
00:19:06,783 --> 00:19:08,393
You trying to put
the pound game on my girl,
382
00:19:08,479 --> 00:19:09,436
you little bitch?
27960
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof