Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,770 --> 00:00:08,467
Previously on The Hard
Times of RJ Berger.
2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,293
My name is RJ Berger.
3
00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:12,337
Nature made me scrawny
and weird-looking,
4
00:00:12,377 --> 00:00:14,945
awkward and pale.
5
00:00:14,986 --> 00:00:16,857
It gave me
embarrassing parents...
6
00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:20,293
I walked in on him
masturbating this morning.
7
00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:22,726
A girl that's been stalking me
since kindergarten...
8
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:26,292
Anytime, any place,
9
00:00:26,331 --> 00:00:28,986
any orifice.
10
00:00:29,026 --> 00:00:30,723
And a best friend who's
obsessed with being popular.
11
00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:33,507
Our objective is clear.
Get people to like us.
12
00:00:33,546 --> 00:00:35,635
Nature made me a loser.
13
00:00:35,677 --> 00:00:38,462
That's how a man
smells, bitch.
14
00:00:48,978 --> 00:00:51,589
And that would have
been fine except...
15
00:00:51,629 --> 00:00:54,719
It's okay, at least
he's got his jock strap.
16
00:00:56,715 --> 00:00:59,240
Looks like
a goddamn Buick Regal.
17
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,457
Now the whole school knows
about my not-so-little secret.
18
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,629
- We're saved.
- I'm soaked.
19
00:01:04,670 --> 00:01:05,845
me.
20
00:01:05,888 --> 00:01:07,890
You asshole!
21
00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:10,498
I can't believe
you never told me!
22
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:13,367
You have something that every
guy in school would kill for.
23
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,758
Jenny Swanson.
Every year...
24
00:01:16,798 --> 00:01:18,103
You think she can't
get any hotter.
25
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,322
Now I'm study buddies
with the girl of my dreams.
26
00:01:20,362 --> 00:01:23,496
And her boyfriend
does not like that.
27
00:01:23,535 --> 00:01:26,321
So the big Lipski test.
28
00:01:26,361 --> 00:01:28,363
You ever talk to her again,
I'll kill you.
29
00:01:28,404 --> 00:01:29,840
- Let's bounce, man.
- No.
30
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,797
Nature did
a lot of things...
31
00:01:39,793 --> 00:01:43,144
That's how a man
smells, bitch.
32
00:01:44,661 --> 00:01:46,750
I'll email you tomorrow.
33
00:01:51,051 --> 00:01:52,269
"The building blocks
of DNA molecules
34
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:56,098
are nucleotides which consist
of a phosphate..."
35
00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:58,008
I always forget that one.
36
00:01:58,050 --> 00:01:59,834
Number four,
true or false?
37
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:02,529
"The DNA double helix
is a spiral polymer
38
00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:04,137
of nucleotides."
39
00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:06,615
That is 100% true.
Ow!
40
00:02:06,656 --> 00:02:09,137
Well, well,
how are my two
41
00:02:09,177 --> 00:02:11,789
favorite study
buddies doing?
42
00:02:11,829 --> 00:02:13,048
That's enough, Max.
We're studying.
43
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,569
Really?
44
00:02:14,610 --> 00:02:17,962
Oh, I'm sorry
for interrupting.
45
00:02:18,001 --> 00:02:20,482
Patterson and I will just
take a seat over there.
46
00:02:24,608 --> 00:02:26,088
I'll see you around, buddy.
47
00:02:30,564 --> 00:02:33,219
- Beat it, dork.
- You okay?
48
00:02:33,258 --> 00:02:34,869
Yeah, I'm fine.
49
00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:37,347
Just a little hard
to concentrate
50
00:02:37,388 --> 00:02:39,999
with my executioners
in attendance.
51
00:02:45,952 --> 00:02:48,258
Listen, RJ,
don't worry about Max.
52
00:02:48,299 --> 00:02:50,388
I had a long talk with him,
and he promised me
53
00:02:50,428 --> 00:02:52,300
that he'd leave you alone
from now on.
54
00:02:52,341 --> 00:02:54,604
I feel better already.
55
00:02:59,426 --> 00:03:01,733
I heard you smeared your ball
sweat across Max Owens' face.
56
00:03:01,774 --> 00:03:03,384
Not now, Kevin.
57
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:06,124
You shoot me an email
if you need a new study buddy.
58
00:03:08,729 --> 00:03:09,686
Something tells
me this one ain't
59
00:03:09,729 --> 00:03:11,296
gonna be around much longer.
60
00:03:18,857 --> 00:03:21,033
My name is RJ Berger,
61
00:03:21,074 --> 00:03:23,773
and being a loser
has never felt so lonely.
62
00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:29,465
♪ Hey!
63
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:34,726
I'm telling you, bro,
64
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:37,857
sophomore year is already
kicking freshman year's ass.
65
00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:39,158
See the way those chicks
looked at me?
66
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,028
Yeah, they looked at you
like you were a guy in a van
67
00:03:41,069 --> 00:03:43,202
- offering them candy.
- Yeah!
68
00:03:43,243 --> 00:03:44,679
And last year they wouldn't
even make eye contact with me.
69
00:03:44,721 --> 00:03:46,897
I'm telling you, man,
this year is looking up.
70
00:03:46,938 --> 00:03:49,723
♪ For a good ole time
71
00:03:49,764 --> 00:03:51,374
Great, now I gotta look
at that tool bag's face
72
00:03:51,414 --> 00:03:53,503
- in-between class.
- Yep.
73
00:03:53,545 --> 00:03:55,503
I swear to God,
this school's a joke.
74
00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:57,328
The hygiene club stopped
stocking maxi pads
75
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,154
in the girls' bathroom,
76
00:03:59,196 --> 00:04:00,937
and there's a vampire buffet
in my panties.
77
00:04:00,978 --> 00:04:03,024
Oh, nope, yeah.
78
00:04:03,064 --> 00:04:05,806
Yeah, I just vomited
in my mouth.
79
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:07,718
- One, two, three, lift.
- What the hell
80
00:04:07,759 --> 00:04:09,412
are the wood shop kids
doing to the handi-ramp?
81
00:04:09,454 --> 00:04:11,761
First of all,
it's the carpentry club.
82
00:04:11,801 --> 00:04:13,107
The wood shop kids
are a bunch of assholes
83
00:04:13,149 --> 00:04:15,238
who make bird feeders.
84
00:04:15,279 --> 00:04:16,584
And for your information,
we're dismantling the ramp
85
00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:18,934
for scrap wood since the student
government association
86
00:04:18,974 --> 00:04:20,584
was kind enough
to cut our budget
87
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:22,236
like a circ saw
through pine.
88
00:04:22,278 --> 00:04:24,019
Yeah, but what about
kids like Kevin Stern
89
00:04:24,059 --> 00:04:25,191
who need to go
up and down the stairs?
90
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,669
Not my problem.
91
00:04:26,711 --> 00:04:30,541
- Not your problem?
- Who cares?
92
00:04:30,579 --> 00:04:31,580
I can't wait to see
that lazy prick
93
00:04:31,623 --> 00:04:33,538
crawling up and down
on his hands and knees.
94
00:04:33,579 --> 00:04:36,060
See, best year ever.
95
00:04:57,052 --> 00:04:58,793
Oh, come on, you gotta
be kidding me.
96
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,444
Come on,
you ancient piece of...
97
00:05:05,615 --> 00:05:07,312
I lost 20 hours of work
98
00:05:07,354 --> 00:05:08,877
because the computer club
99
00:05:08,919 --> 00:05:10,964
can't afford machines
built this century.
100
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,355
Where the hell
are the new desktops
101
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,876
we were supposed
to get this semester?
102
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,310
You want to know
where they are?
103
00:05:15,352 --> 00:05:17,746
Max and Patterson
are wearing 'em.
104
00:05:17,786 --> 00:05:18,700
♪ Tell me
how you like that ♪
105
00:05:18,743 --> 00:05:20,092
♪ Girl you know
I like that ♪
106
00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:22,310
♪ Yeah shake it for me more
107
00:05:22,351 --> 00:05:24,353
Well, what do you mean?
108
00:05:24,393 --> 00:05:26,482
The student
government association
109
00:05:26,524 --> 00:05:28,569
just awarded a whole ass-load
of money to the athletic club
110
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,568
so they can get new equipment
and workout gear.
111
00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:31,654
Well, why couldn't
they find more money
112
00:05:31,696 --> 00:05:33,045
to give to
the computer club?
113
00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:35,438
Dude, Max Owens
is the president of the SGA.
114
00:05:35,478 --> 00:05:37,437
You want money,
you gotta convince him
115
00:05:37,477 --> 00:05:38,565
to give it to you first.
116
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:48,651
So in conclusion,
the drama club
117
00:05:48,693 --> 00:05:51,957
is requesting $500
for new sets
118
00:05:51,996 --> 00:05:54,041
for our upcoming
production of
119
00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:56,868
A Streetcar Named
the Fast and the Furious.
120
00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:59,388
And what happened
to the old sets?
121
00:05:59,429 --> 00:06:01,431
The carpentry club
dismantled them
122
00:06:01,472 --> 00:06:03,866
for scrap wood.
123
00:06:03,907 --> 00:06:05,038
So what do you say, babe?
124
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,170
Well, first of all,
I would like to say
125
00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:10,517
- you look hot.
- Thank you.
126
00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:11,863
And you know
I'd give you anything.
127
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,081
- Mm-hmm.
- But...
128
00:06:14,121 --> 00:06:16,428
SGA is totally
out of money this year
129
00:06:16,468 --> 00:06:19,123
due to the athletic club's
equipment emergency.
130
00:06:19,164 --> 00:06:20,687
But it's only 500...
131
00:06:20,729 --> 00:06:23,079
I love you, babe,
but request denied.
132
00:06:23,119 --> 00:06:24,425
Next!
133
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,686
He turned down Jenny.
134
00:06:25,728 --> 00:06:28,078
Maybe they really are broke.
135
00:06:28,118 --> 00:06:32,079
SGA will now hear a petition
from Coach Sinclair.
136
00:06:32,117 --> 00:06:34,076
Coach?
137
00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:35,902
Um, good afternoon, gentlemen.
138
00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:39,077
The athletic club
needs an additional
139
00:06:39,116 --> 00:06:41,771
emergency appropriation
in the amount of, uh,
140
00:06:41,811 --> 00:06:45,902
$1,445.50.
141
00:06:47,245 --> 00:06:48,202
Those are betting slips
from the dog track.
142
00:06:48,244 --> 00:06:50,289
- Are you sure?
- Dude, I find, like,
143
00:06:50,331 --> 00:06:51,593
50 of them stuffed
in my dad's pockets
144
00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:53,462
every time
I do his laundry.
145
00:06:53,504 --> 00:06:55,419
What are these
expenses for, Coach?
146
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:57,506
Um... miscellaneous.
147
00:06:57,546 --> 00:06:59,113
Request approved.
148
00:06:59,155 --> 00:07:01,244
- What?
- Are you serious?
149
00:07:01,284 --> 00:07:04,635
Trifecta.
150
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,504
Next up,
RJ Berger
151
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:09,546
from the computer club.
152
00:07:13,108 --> 00:07:13,848
Good afternoon.
153
00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:20,242
It was 1975, and the
Homebrew Computer Club
154
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,370
in Menlo Park, California
had a new member,
155
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:27,109
a young upstart
who had a dream of building
156
00:07:27,149 --> 00:07:29,064
a computer
that everyone could use.
157
00:07:29,104 --> 00:07:31,237
That upstart's name
was Steve Jobs.
158
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:32,671
Request denied!
159
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,540
I didn't ask
for anything yet.
160
00:07:34,582 --> 00:07:36,453
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
161
00:07:36,494 --> 00:07:39,845
Go ahead, uh... ask.
162
00:07:42,014 --> 00:07:43,494
The computer club
would like some...
163
00:07:48,318 --> 00:07:50,276
- The computer club...
- Request denied.
164
00:07:52,317 --> 00:07:54,580
Honestly, I'm not quite sure
how you can sit there
165
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,231
with a straight face
like that.
166
00:07:56,272 --> 00:07:57,665
You have money
for these tracksuits.
167
00:07:57,707 --> 00:08:00,535
You just gave
the coach $1,400
168
00:08:00,576 --> 00:08:03,144
to cover his track losses.
169
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,794
I said request denied,
tripod!
170
00:08:04,835 --> 00:08:06,097
How can you justify...
171
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:08,272
Don't make us bang this
gavel on your face, Berger.
172
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,054
On your face!
173
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:34,396
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
174
00:08:34,437 --> 00:08:36,222
You gave it a shot, okay?
175
00:08:36,263 --> 00:08:38,222
Now I would have opened with
a joke, but that's just me.
176
00:08:38,262 --> 00:08:40,743
Miles, this is bull[bleep]!
Why does Max Owens
177
00:08:40,784 --> 00:08:43,003
get to control
the school money?
178
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:44,220
Because he's
attractive and mean?
179
00:08:44,261 --> 00:08:46,786
Look, let's get some lunch.
You'll feel better.
180
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,611
No, dude,
it's not all right.
181
00:08:49,651 --> 00:08:52,523
Dude, in two weeks this will
be nothing but a memory.
182
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:53,826
None of this will matter.
183
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:56,609
Dude, I'm tired
of being Max Owens' bitch.
184
00:08:56,650 --> 00:09:00,654
You know, someone needs
to stand up to that guy and...
185
00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:02,651
Hey.
186
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:05,520
I'm gonna run
for SGA president.
187
00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:07,737
Are you crazy?
188
00:09:07,778 --> 00:09:10,302
Dude, things are just starting
to look up for us.
189
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,822
Don't rock the boat
by taking on
190
00:09:11,864 --> 00:09:13,517
the most popular guy
on campus.
191
00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,648
There's a reason he's running
unopposed, RJ.
192
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,125
He's unbeatable!
193
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,778
No one's unbeatable, Miles.
194
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,082
Oh, yeah? Show me
one person besides me
195
00:09:21,123 --> 00:09:23,995
who'd vote for you
over Max Owens, just one.
196
00:09:27,643 --> 00:09:29,340
That guy.
197
00:09:32,424 --> 00:09:34,513
All right, if I'm gonna have
a chance at beating Max,
198
00:09:34,554 --> 00:09:36,687
I'm gonna need, like,
a catchy slogan.
199
00:09:36,728 --> 00:09:39,252
You know, something that
differentiates me from him.
200
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:40,815
All right.
201
00:09:40,858 --> 00:09:43,295
"RJ Berger,
terrible at sports."
202
00:09:43,335 --> 00:09:45,947
How 'bout, "RJ Berger.
203
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:50,034
He'll stuff your ballot box"?
204
00:09:50,072 --> 00:09:52,771
All right, um, let's
forget slogans for now.
205
00:09:52,811 --> 00:09:55,422
Um, how do I win this?
206
00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:57,987
I don't think you're
willing to go all the way, RJ.
207
00:09:58,027 --> 00:10:00,203
I don't think you're willing
to do what it takes to win!
208
00:10:00,244 --> 00:10:03,247
Yes, I'm...
I'm, I'm ready
209
00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:04,897
and willing to do
whatever it takes.
210
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,811
Assassinate Max,
military coup style.
211
00:10:07,851 --> 00:10:12,464
No, no.
Come on, Miles, guys.
212
00:10:12,502 --> 00:10:14,156
I want to win
this election.
213
00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:16,853
Then I suggest changing
your name to Max Owens.
214
00:10:18,631 --> 00:10:21,547
As much as it pains me
to admit this,
215
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:22,937
Miles is right.
216
00:10:22,978 --> 00:10:26,242
The SGA election
is a popularity contest.
217
00:10:26,282 --> 00:10:28,066
It's a suicide mission.
218
00:10:28,108 --> 00:10:30,763
Dude, you guy...
you guys are wrong.
219
00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:34,110
For every Max Owens,
there's ten of us.
220
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:36,151
You know, guys like Max
only stay in power
221
00:10:36,193 --> 00:10:37,803
because they convince us
that we're not as important
222
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,195
as the top 10%,
but we are.
223
00:10:40,235 --> 00:10:43,978
All we need to do is just
rally the other 90%,
224
00:10:44,017 --> 00:10:45,888
and then all we need to do
225
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:49,194
is run a clean campaign
on morals and issues,
226
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,974
and we could win this thing!
227
00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:51,798
Yes!
228
00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:55,538
♪ Hey ladies
229
00:10:55,579 --> 00:10:57,799
♪ You wanna get it started
230
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,755
♪ Hey ladies
231
00:10:59,796 --> 00:11:02,190
♪ Oh, you the party
232
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,406
♪ Hey, if you're the party
I'm gonna get at you ♪
233
00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:06,884
♪ Hey, if you're the party
I'm gonna get at you ♪
234
00:11:06,925 --> 00:11:08,404
♪ Hey, if you're the party
I'm gonna get at you ♪
235
00:11:08,446 --> 00:11:11,405
Great.
Now what do we do?
236
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:13,403
♪ Hey, if you're the party
I'm gonna get at you ♪
237
00:11:13,445 --> 00:11:15,142
♪ Hey, if you're the party
I'm gonna get at you ♪
238
00:11:15,184 --> 00:11:17,229
Thank you, thank you.
Vote for Max.
239
00:11:18,357 --> 00:11:19,271
Hey, RJ.
240
00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:24,272
Oh, my God,
my balls just exploded.
241
00:11:24,312 --> 00:11:26,140
Dude, is that your dad?
242
00:11:28,268 --> 00:11:32,489
Oh, Jesus.
243
00:11:32,527 --> 00:11:34,398
- Dad.
- Hey, RJ, what's up, bud?
244
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,963
What are you doing here?
245
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,920
Oh, well, you know,
they missed a spot again.
246
00:11:37,961 --> 00:11:39,267
Again?
247
00:11:39,308 --> 00:11:40,832
How many times
have you been through?
248
00:11:40,873 --> 00:11:42,396
Um, this is my fourth time.
249
00:11:42,438 --> 00:11:44,179
And I gotta tell you, RJ,
250
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,092
your girls are not
very thorough.
251
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,395
But God bless them,
252
00:11:47,437 --> 00:11:49,439
they really put
their backs into it.
253
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,222
Okay, Dad, seriously,
you've got to leave
254
00:11:52,262 --> 00:11:54,090
or I'm gonna tell Mom.
255
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,394
Mom?
Mom's five cars back.
256
00:11:56,435 --> 00:11:58,263
Oh, God...
257
00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:01,392
Oh, come...
258
00:12:03,651 --> 00:12:07,002
Face it, RJ, you can't
compete with this amount of ass.
259
00:12:07,041 --> 00:12:08,434
You know, if life's
taught me anything,
260
00:12:08,475 --> 00:12:10,260
it's this.
Give up.
261
00:12:10,301 --> 00:12:12,434
Miles, I'm not giving up.
262
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,693
some people look at us
263
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,519
and a word comes to mind.
264
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,562
Yeah, losers.
265
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:24,475
Thank you, Coach.
266
00:12:24,516 --> 00:12:26,823
Okay, maybe we're losers.
267
00:12:26,863 --> 00:12:28,952
But why are we losers?
268
00:12:28,993 --> 00:12:31,212
Is it because
we suck at sports?
269
00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:32,820
Is it because our parents
270
00:12:32,861 --> 00:12:36,212
are our only friends
on Facebook? No!
271
00:12:36,252 --> 00:12:37,993
What makes us losers
272
00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:40,820
is that we believe
we are losers.
273
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:44,516
Max Owens runs unopposed
every year.
274
00:12:44,554 --> 00:12:46,382
You know why?
275
00:12:46,424 --> 00:12:48,687
Because we accept
when he says
276
00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:51,121
that he is cooler
than we are.
277
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:53,991
Because we accept it
when he puts his priorities
278
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:56,772
before our priorities.
279
00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:05,204
Chess Club, why should
you have to dig
280
00:13:05,246 --> 00:13:06,334
your chess pieces
out of the garbage?
281
00:13:09,027 --> 00:13:11,290
Because the SGA
took your funding away.
282
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,288
And let me ask you this.
Why did the Carpentry Club
283
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:17,766
scavenge your set pieces
284
00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:20,549
and Kevin Stern's
handi-ramp for lumber?
285
00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:23,549
Because the SGA
took your funding away!
286
00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:27,027
We can do better
than Max Owens!
287
00:13:31,022 --> 00:13:33,068
- Yes, we can!
- Yes, we can!
288
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:36,548
And we will,
if you let me serve you.
289
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,767
Yes, Max Owens is cool,
but if being cool
290
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:41,463
is stealing from people
291
00:13:41,506 --> 00:13:44,074
and caring about nobody
but yourself...
292
00:13:46,508 --> 00:13:49,163
Then I am uncool.
293
00:13:49,205 --> 00:13:51,120
Uncool like you!
294
00:14:11,913 --> 00:14:13,610
Dude, I gotta talk to you.
295
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,611
Miles, can you
believe this, dude?
296
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,264
We might actually
win this thing.
297
00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:19,308
Yeah, we got a situation.
Come on.
298
00:14:19,351 --> 00:14:21,048
- Come with me.
- Okay.
299
00:14:27,094 --> 00:14:29,574
RJ fricking Berger.
300
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,359
What do you want?
301
00:14:33,401 --> 00:14:35,534
Your candidacy
is starting to annoy me.
302
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:38,188
See, I like running unopposed
303
00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:41,059
'cause it gives me time to
focus on the important issues.
304
00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:43,407
Like touching down
on Jenny's landing strip.
305
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,625
Oh!
306
00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:46,453
Boom!
307
00:14:46,495 --> 00:14:48,497
For three!
308
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,324
Oh-oh-oh-oh.
309
00:14:53,411 --> 00:14:55,413
Well, uh...
310
00:14:55,456 --> 00:14:57,893
I'm sorry
that I annoy you, Max,
311
00:14:57,936 --> 00:14:59,546
but I'm in it to win it.
312
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:02,417
U-u-ugly and stupid.
313
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,854
Listen, Berger,
314
00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:07,203
I don't care
how many zit-faced losers
315
00:15:07,244 --> 00:15:08,637
you get on your side.
316
00:15:08,681 --> 00:15:09,986
I got too many
guaranteed votes.
317
00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:11,552
The numbers
just doesn't add up.
318
00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:14,293
- Don't. Nothing.
- What?
319
00:15:14,335 --> 00:15:16,381
Listen...
320
00:15:16,423 --> 00:15:18,338
Since I know
321
00:15:18,381 --> 00:15:20,035
you're a stubborn
little burro,
322
00:15:20,077 --> 00:15:21,644
drop out now
and I'll fund your...
323
00:15:23,688 --> 00:15:27,300
Computer Club when I win.
324
00:15:32,083 --> 00:15:34,433
Listen, freak,
325
00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,783
I'll use my secret weapon
if I have to.
326
00:15:36,825 --> 00:15:39,045
What are you,
a James Bond villain?
327
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:43,438
Do the right thing
and gracefully withdraw.
328
00:15:43,481 --> 00:15:45,091
Like you do with Jenny.
329
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:47,005
Oh!
330
00:15:48,265 --> 00:15:50,354
Boom-shakka-lakka!
331
00:16:02,316 --> 00:16:05,145
- RJ.
- Hey, Jenny.
332
00:16:05,187 --> 00:16:08,277
Hey, sorry
to bug you, um...
333
00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:10,103
I just wanted
to let you know
334
00:16:10,146 --> 00:16:12,888
that I was really impressed
with your speech yesterday.
335
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,410
I probably shouldn't
say this since
336
00:16:14,452 --> 00:16:18,587
I'm campaigning
for Max, um...
337
00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:22,241
I'm really glad
you decided to run.
338
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,110
We could use some different
points of view around here.
339
00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:30,114
Thank you.
340
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,854
Well, um, whatever happens,
341
00:16:32,897 --> 00:16:34,507
I hope you get
your computers.
342
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:41,468
Well, I, uh,
I hope you get your wood.
343
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,120
It's, uh... set pieces.
344
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:55,432
So in closing, I'd like
to thank the good people
345
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,693
of Pinkerton Athletic Club
346
00:16:57,736 --> 00:17:00,564
for continuing to support
my candidacy
347
00:17:00,606 --> 00:17:03,827
and believing
in the power of ideas.
348
00:17:11,612 --> 00:17:13,962
And since my challenger
349
00:17:14,005 --> 00:17:16,181
didn't even bother
to show up today,
350
00:17:16,223 --> 00:17:19,444
I guess we can just assume
he dropped out of the race.
351
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:21,836
So when you get
to the ballot box,
352
00:17:21,878 --> 00:17:24,881
remember, there's only one choice.
353
00:17:24,923 --> 00:17:27,926
But it's the right choice.
354
00:17:27,968 --> 00:17:30,536
- Max Owens!
- Wait!
355
00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:41,671
Do you mind?
356
00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:43,803
Whatever.
357
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:53,416
Student and faculty,
358
00:17:53,459 --> 00:17:56,331
excuse me
for being late, um...
359
00:17:56,374 --> 00:18:00,987
To be honest, um,
I was having my doubts
360
00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:04,901
about whether or not
I wanted to do this.
361
00:18:04,944 --> 00:18:06,510
Despite everything
I've been telling you guys,
362
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:10,296
someone told me
that I couldn't win.
363
00:18:10,337 --> 00:18:14,994
And, uh, I believed them.
364
00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:18,430
But then I realized
this isn't about me.
365
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:22,389
It's about every single
person here
366
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:25,782
that's made to feel
like they don't matter,
367
00:18:25,823 --> 00:18:27,216
that they don't belong.
368
00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:32,480
I'm here to tell you guys
one thing.
369
00:18:32,522 --> 00:18:35,961
You do matter.
370
00:18:36,002 --> 00:18:37,569
You do belong.
371
00:18:39,048 --> 00:18:41,746
Pinkerton is your school,
372
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,094
and it's time
we take it back.
373
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:55,797
All right, so, uh,
I made a film
374
00:18:55,838 --> 00:18:56,883
that I would like
to share with you all.
375
00:18:56,926 --> 00:19:00,016
But please excuse
the film's quality.
376
00:19:00,058 --> 00:19:03,104
I made it in the
school's computer lab,
377
00:19:03,147 --> 00:19:05,845
and we all know
those computers suck balls.
378
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:15,588
Move it, nerds.
379
00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:23,158
Students of Pinkerton!
380
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,376
Today we rise!
381
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:56,784
Dude, that was awesome.
382
00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:58,175
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
383
00:19:58,218 --> 00:20:00,177
We can win this.
We could really win this!
384
00:20:00,219 --> 00:20:02,047
- I know.
- Mr. President,
385
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:03,787
I want to be
your Monica Lewinsky.
386
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:12,314
Well, I didn't prepare
a "rebutment,"
387
00:20:12,356 --> 00:20:16,795
'cause this is usually
just an early victory party.
388
00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:20,665
So I guess
all I have to say is...
389
00:20:20,707 --> 00:20:23,666
free Rock Bandsfor everyone!
390
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:32,280
It's okay, dude.
We got a big enough lead.
391
00:20:32,322 --> 00:20:33,715
We can survive this.
392
00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:38,761
And if that
wasn't enough for you,
393
00:20:38,803 --> 00:20:42,198
here to perform
a song from his new album,
394
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,548
my second cousin by marriage,
Travis Barker!
395
00:20:52,724 --> 00:20:54,857
What's up, Pinkerton?
396
00:20:54,899 --> 00:20:56,118
Just wanted to come by
and tell you guys
397
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,945
to vote for my cousin Max.
398
00:21:08,514 --> 00:21:10,777
Okay, now we're [bleep].
399
00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,346
Next on The Hard Times
of RJ Berger.
400
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:16,522
I'm auditioning for
the high school musical.
401
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:17,654
A musical, RJ?
402
00:21:17,697 --> 00:21:19,395
It's a mash-up between
403
00:21:19,438 --> 00:21:21,310
West Side Story
and Twilight.
404
00:21:21,353 --> 00:21:25,967
Their lips will meet in
a final, tragically deep kiss.
405
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:27,316
- We kiss?
- Hey, RJ,
406
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:28,534
I came to school
naked today.
407
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,885
Why are you harboring
a midget in your leotard?
408
00:21:39,284 --> 00:21:40,242
♪ Hey!
409
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,028
♪ Hey
29337
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof