All language subtitles for The Rockford Files S01e01 The Kirkoff Case

Didn't you notice I was wearing glasses?

What do you mean, don't count on too much?

I'm counting on you and this Girl Scout troop in here to solve it.

Shut up. Every time you come in here with a bloody nose...

morale goes up 10 points.

What are you, hard up for work or something?

Could I have my pants, please?

You wouldn't be setting me up, would you?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

You got 30 seconds, then you're leaving.

So get it said, whatever it is.

What I want to say, you won't want them to hear.

This is Jim Rockford.

At the tone, leave your name and message.

I'll get back to you.

It's Norma at the market. It bounced.

You want us to tear it up, send it back, or put it with the others?

Excuse me. Did you see a man come by here dressed in a cowboy hat a minute ago?

He had to come by here.

He had a cowboy hat, you know, ten-gallon hat, jeans, boots, all that?

What color horse?

I know I'm amusing you, but could you give me a straight answer?

Okay.

Did you see him?

No.

Thanks.

I'm sorry. No, I didn't see a cowboy.

I was reading my book, and he could've passed me, but I doubt it.

Okay. Thanks.

What else could I think? I mean, I'm sitting at the beach and I look up...

and there you are with a trout fishing pole asking about a cowboy.

I hate to tell you, but the trout fishing in the ocean is lousy.

It was a disguise, sort of.

That's clever. Wing-tip shoes and a spinning rod.

Do you ever say anything that isn't glib?

What do you do when you're not hunting cowboys?

I sell greeting cards.

Is there much money in that?

What?

I said, is there much money in greeting cards?

Christmas and Easter isn't too bad...

but Mother's Day just sort of lays there.

A sign of the times.

Hey, my apartment's that white building about a mile up the main highway.

Why don't you come by and have a drink?

You're not in there. I already looked.

It's not because I haven't tried.

I'm sure.

I read it because it has the names of rich people in it.

And then I go out and I try to marry one.

At least it's not as seasonal as greeting cards.

You'd be surprised how hard it is to be spontaneous and blunt...

at the same time.

Rich people find that an attractive quality.

I'll bet.

All right, now what's going on?

Nothing.

We're just having a drink. Maybe we'll get to be friends.

It just doesn't figure. I mean, my bank statement is a nightmare in red.

You wouldn't be setting me up, would you?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

You didn't put something in that drink?

I sure called that one.

What else did he tell you?

Nothing.

Greeting cards, huh?

Okay, hotshot, who are you?

Let's go, boy. Why were you following me?

Wake up.

Hey, give me a minute, will you?

What've you been doing, anyway?

And would you mind not pointing that thing at me, please?

You better get to talking, mister. Who are you?

Lieutenant Larry Dent, LAPD, and you better have a permit for that thing.

You ain't no cop. You got no gun or ID.

You're gonna tell me what I wanna know...

or you're gonna wind up on the critical list in one big hurry. Savvy?

Right.

Right. Now, why are you following me?

You didn't really need to go to all this trouble, Travis.

I wasn't having any luck following you so I was gonna ask you about it, anyway.

Ask me about what?

I'm investigating the Kirkoff killings...

and I heard you were having an affair with Mrs. Kirkoff before she was killed.

I told you. A private cop, huh?

Look. You aren't gonna shoot anybody, we both know it.

So why don't you put that thing away before you have an accident?

Who you working for?

That's confidential. Larry Kirkoff.

Larry Kirkoff? What are you, hard up for work or something?

Could I have my pants, please?

What are you messing around with me for?

I didn't kill anybody and I sure wouldn't kill Jenny.

It's obvious I made a mistake.

So why don't we just forget it happened and I'll go on my way. All right?

Larry killed his own parents. Everybody knows that. The cops...

I have been sitting here answering questions in my shorts...

for a reasonable length of time.

I want my pants and I wanna get out of here. All right?

Give him his pants.

You know, you're a sucker, pal.

Everybody knows that that kid done in his own parents.

He was indicted for it and everything.

You got a good point there, but Larry seems to have another theory.

The DA didn't press it, and the cops are not working on it.

So I agree with you. I am probably just wasting my time.

You and me is gonna take a little ride.

Just where are we going?

Just shut up and put that coat on.

What are you going to do, Travis?

This guy could start trouble for us.

I'm gonna make sure he stays out of our way.

Let's go.

Look, if you don't mind...

I came here alone, I'd just as soon leave alone.

I can mess you up right here if that's the way you want it.

All right.

Look, Travis...

You know, I fell for that trick once myself. Works pretty good, doesn't it?

Where's my camera?

Why'd you do that?

Just for the fun of It.

Travis is right, Larry Kirkoff is guilty.

All he wanted you for...

is to make his country club friends think he didn't do it.

The way it is now, nobody wants him around.

You were saying?

I followed Travis, and you were right.

He was having an affair with your mother.

I knew it.

If you want my opinion, he didn't kill your parents.

I'm not paying you for your opinions, only for your observations.

I'm having a special this week...

so my opinions come with no extra charge.

I could care less.

Opinion number one is Travis just doesn't figure.

Your mother was putting money in a bank account for him.

She was giving him pretty new horses to train.

Once your parents were killed, all that stops...

so I just don't see how he makes any sense as the killer.

Have you ever heard of sheer jealousy? Or of lovers' quarrels?

Just put it down there, I'll find a place.

What I'm trying to say is...

I think we've run out of things to go on.

I'll notify you when I think we've run out of clues.

Could you get him to stop that?

Salvatore, come.

Tell them to keep an eye on those movers in there, will you?

And I'll be served now.

Salvatore, lie down.

Opinion number two is...

you still look better for this than anyone around.

I can see why the grand jury indicted you.

And I can see why you don't charge for your opinions.

They aren't worth very much. If the DA had a case against me...

he would've brought me to trial, which he didn't.

And the police would still be investigating me, which they aren't.

They're not investigating, period.

There's a reason for that.

They're sure you did it, they just can't pin it on you.

So for the time being, it's inactive.

And what are your other opinions?

Opinion number three is that...

for someone who's supposed to be broken up...

over the death of their parents...

you're having way too much fun redecorating this place.

I have to live here now, Mr. Rockford.

My father's taste in furniture was Victorian, like him.

He was a sanctimonious, self-righteous man.

He's been dead for three months now.

I'm just getting rid of some things. What's wrong with that?

It has a real lack of style.

I'll just send you a bill for my time.

I'm afraid that won't do.

It'll have to.

How much more do you want, Mr. Rockford?

No one could be in a racket like yours...

without being influenced by money.

Not me.

Especially you.

I'd say your price is hovering around $20,000.

A bonus of $20,000 when you find out who killed my parents.

If you killed your parents, and I can't prove it...

it's going to be a long time...

getting to the cashier's window, isn't it?

I made my offer, Mr. Rockford. I'm not going to bicker about it.

$20,000 buys a lot of groceries.

There is one more thing I could look into, and then I'll let you know.

Of course. What is it?

I ran into a girl this morning and took her picture.

Its probably nothing, but you said you had a darkroom...

so, shall we take a look?

He really knows how to lay out the old welcome mat, doesn't he?

According to the police...

your mother was killed with a Tokarev 7.62mm pistol...

and your father was killed...

with a .300 Magnum hunting rifle at long range...

and yours was stolen. Isn't that the way you're telling it?

That's one of the police department's dead ends.

Is that the rifle?

I don't know if that's it. I guess it could be. Yeah.

You told the police you never reported it stolen...

because you didn't miss it for a long time...

and you'd never used it very much.

I didn't.

You were sure using it when these pictures were taken.

Those pictures were taken, what, five years ago.

You're pretty good.

Yeah?

I know her. I mean, I don't know her name, but I saw her once.

I was going up to my father's hunting cabin, and just before I got there...

I saw his car pull out, only she was at the wheel, this girl.

My parents were separated at the time.

I figured he was having an affair with her...

wanted to keep it quiet...

so my mother couldn't use it in court. It all fits.

All right, I'll check into it.

If I come up with anything, I'll hang with you for a while.

If I don't, I get out. Okay?

Fair enough.

A special delivery for Mr. Smith from his office.

Is that Steven Smith or Thomas?

Thomas. This is his mixed-doubles day.

May I help you? I'm the assistant manager.

Yeah, I'm not sure, really. I was looking for Jerry Green.

I'm afraid you're out of luck. He's not here.

That's too bad.

I'm Jim Rockford, and I'm an old friend from Chicago.

I was here on business, and I called him at the house.

There's no answer.

I knew he was a member. Thought I might track him down here.

He and Mrs. Green are on vacation abroad.

Don't tell me, Madge and Jerry finally made it to the Greek Islands?

Why, yes, that's where they went.

Really? Hey, that's great. That's marvelous.

They've been talking about that trip for years.

Good for them.

Bad for me, though, I was hoping I'd get in a little tennis.

Back to the old hotel.

Excuse me.

I'm sure if you'd like to use the club...

they'd want you to have a guest card.

Yes, that'd be very nice. Thank you.

Tawnia Baker. It is you.

I was standing over there, and I said to myself:

"What a small world. That's Tawnia Baker."

How's Travis? Have you seen him since the accident?

Jim, my goodness. How are you?

To tell you the truth, I'm not too good.

I had a headache all morning. Must've been something I drank.

Jim Rockford, Calvin Carras.

Hi. You got a marvelous tennis partner here...

but watch her, she's tricky. She'll call those close ones out.

What was it you wanted?

Nothing, really. I just wanted to say "hi."

What are you drinking? Could I buy you another one?

Three more bloody marys here, please...

and don't give anybody the check but me.

We were just about to play tennis, Jim.

How's your insurance picture, Cal?

I'm with Massachusetts National Life.

Here. Why don't you take one of these...

and we'll get together and talk a little?

Excuse me a minute.

He looks like a good one. What does he do?

How did you get in here?

How did you?

I have a guest card.

Me, too.

I suppose you're going to try and mess me up here.

That depends on how much you decide to cooperate with me.

I want some answers, honey.

Don't call me honey.

I was looking into your background.

It read like The Chapman Report.

What really got me was the last chapter.

Are you going to come to the point or not?

I found out that you were having an affair with Charles Kirkoff...

just before he was killed.

Tawnia, our court's ready.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Rockford.

Could you give it away, Cal?

I don't feel very well right now.

Anything I can do?

No. I'll be all right in a minute.

Sure.

I hope it wasn't something I said.

Just tell me what you want and then get out of here.

Stop flexing your muscles.

What do you want?

Dinner tonight.

I have a date with Calvin.

Break it. Why?

'Cause I wanna find out how much you know about the Kirkoff killings...

and how you and Travis fit in.

I'll just tell you and we can spare the dinner date.

You see, I loved Charles...

and Travis loved Mrs. Kirkoff...

and when Larry didn't get tried for it...

Travis came to me...

and we decided to look into it ourselves.

What makes you think Travis didn't do it?

He wouldn't.

I'll pick you up at 8:00 tonight.

I don't wanna go out with you.

I'm not too crazy about the idea myself, but it means $20,000 to me.

So I'm gonna sit on you until you hatch into something.

$20,000?

You're not worth it.

I know.

Hi, Rocky.

Where you been, sonny?

Out.

I'm only asking 'cause I'm interested.

Say, you want to know about your calls?

That depends on who called.

Where's the aspirin, Dad?

You got a headache?

No. I got a hot tip that the sea bass...

out by the pier are hitting aspirin tablets...

if you can keep them from dissolving.

Try the shelf behind the peanut butter and the ant poison.

So who called?

There's this fellow here from the Athletic Club.

Now he's trying to scalp some Ram tickets off on you on the 50 yard line.

$20 a seat.

Who else?

Then there's this lady.

Now, she wouldn't leave a name, just a number.

You're not gonna call her, are you?

I might give it a try.

They're getting mighty smart, those bill collectors.

Was I you, I wouldn't call her.

Hello?

This is Jim Rockford.

Mr. Rockford, I understand you're looking for information...

on the Kirkoff killings.

I might be. Depends.

I'm not going to negotiate with you.

What I've got is important and it's going to cost you.

What's your name?

Come on, Mr. Rockford. Are you interested or not?

I'm interested.

Meet me at the Sierra Lounge on Wilshire at 8:00.

I'll be wearing a red coat, sitting in a booth at the back.

Rocky, call Mike Braun at the telephone company...

his number's in the Rolodex there on the desk...

and give him this number...

and ask him to get me an address, will you?

What are you giving me all this heavy work?

Why don't you get yourself a secretary?

'Cause if I did that, she'd park herself on the sofa...

you'd end up at the desk, and there wouldn't be any room for me. See you.

You gonna be long, sir?

I don't think so.

Sir... Yeah?

Does your mother know what you do for a living?

Shut up.

Hey, take it easy. I'm not struggling, am I?

I don't know what you guys want...

but there must be some misunderstanding here.

Hold him.

Hey, come on, man. Don't hit me.

Well, now, hold it a minute. Can't we talk about this?

Talk about it a little while?

If I say some of the wrong things...

we can always get to this. What do you say?

That's just so you'll get the idea.

We're not playing around.

You convinced?

Completely.

Good.

I got you figured for a pretty smart guy, Mr. Rockford.

I figure you know what's healthy for you and what's not.

So I'm gonna give you a little advice...

and I got a feeling you're gonna take it...

'cause if you don't...

I ain't gonna talk nice with you again.

I'm just gonna sharpen your heels...

pound you down into the hard ground.

I could use a little advice, believe me.

You're a private detective and I know you got to work for a living.

I understand that.

But your client is guilty of murder.

You know? Murder.

I know it to be a fact, the DA knows it...

and the cops and every newspaper editor in town knows it.

So, how come you're trying to prove it otherwise?

Why, that was this morning.

I just stopped working for him.

I never really liked him very much.

It ain't that I really care that much about Larry Kirkoff. No.

I think the kid's a creep for killing his mom and dad...

but that's not the reason why I want you to quit fooling around with this.

You're right. I understand.

No, you don't understand.

No, I don't.

I'm gonna explain it to you, though.

It's a real estate fraud that could get discovered...

if the DA reopens the Kirkoff case.

Now, if that happens, I'd have myself some real trouble.

And you'll end up in a brass bottle.

You get my drift?

Yeah.

Good.

So now, just so you don't feel too bad...

about this here beating...

I'm gonna leave you with $200.

You don't have to do that, really.

No. I insist. It's my pleasure.

Doesn't anybody have a 409 Assault Form around here?

Don't all volunteer.

I'll just have to use a 157M and change it over later.

157M? That's murder.

It's the same as the Assault Form...

only that there's a little box for the coroner's report at the bottom.

The way you're going, you may need it.

Looks good. Nice. Tagged you real good, didn't he?

I'm glad you like it, Dennis. Now, let's get on with it.

What are you working on?

Don't worry. You're not on it.

Humor me.

I'm working for Larry Kirkoff...

to find out who killed his parents.

Are you kidding? Haven't you heard?

He killed his own parents and inherited $20 million.

Everybody keeps telling me that.

And we would've had him, too, except for two things.

We couldn't turn up the hunting rifle...

and we couldn't put him at the scene of the crime.

Maybe he didn't do it.

And maybe mud tastes like ice cream.

Can you remember what these five guys looked like?

No. All except the one who did all the talking.

He had a husky voice like he'd been hit in the windpipe a couple of times.

Like an ex-fighter?

Yeah, maybe.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Jim.

I'm gonna fill this out, give it to patrol...

but don't count on much.

What is that supposed to mean?

I get kidnapped by two guys and they beat the poo out of me.

I'm making a legitimate complaint.

What do you mean, don't count on too much?

I'm counting on you and this Girl Scout troop in here to solve it.

Shut up, will you? What do I have to do, spell it out for you?

You're not exactly Princess Margaret in this Department.

Every time you come in here with a bloody nose...

morale goes up 10 points.

And, if I weren't a buddy of yours, I wouldn't even type this up.

Okay?

Okay.

Dennis, the warehouse where these guys booted me around...

it's condemned.

I wonder who owns it.

Now, just wait one moment.

You can find out.

Yes, I could find out, but I ain't.

These guys walked around that place like they knew it...

like they'd been there before.

They said they didn't have anything to do...

with the Kirkoff killings, right?

Right.

So who cares who owns the place?

I got news for you, Dennis. I don't believe them.

I think I got somebody worried.

The only one you got worried is your physical therapist.

All right, Dennis, can't you call somebody at the Hall of Records?

I need it tonight.

No.

I'll spot you 10 points...

the next time we play handball.

$5 a point, $10 a game?

Come on, Dennis.

$2 a point, $5 a game.

Okay, but you don't tell anybody where you get it.

If you get turn up anything good, give it to me.

Make me look like the hero.

You're a sweet guy.

Jim, I think you made a bad bet.

Why didn't you call?

Do you mind? I'm with the lady.

Regrettable, but true.

You have my number, Don. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm sorry.

Where have you been?

I had to rent a car. Somebody kicked my headlights out.

Don't you ever take any time off?

On the phone you said 8:00. It's 9:00.

What the devil is this?

You've been fighting.

Not me. The other guys did the fighting.

I stood there and caught punches.

Could I trade this in for a Scotch and soda, please?

Your table is ready.

Enjoy your meal.

Thank you.

You're not having much of a day, are you?

Now that you mention it, I guess not.

What are you so angry about? You're an hour late.

You don't know how tired I get of people like you.

It's okay for you to scratch and claw for $1.

It doesn't matter if Larry Kirkoff is guilty, he's got $20,000...

so you drop right in the basket.

Take it easy, will you?

I went after Charles Kirkoff, because he had money.

I told him that and he understood that.

But I wouldn't have gone any further if I hadn't found him attractive.

He was one of the most vital men I've ever met...

and if they'd taken all of his money away...

I still would have married him because he was one of a kind.

Everybody I talked to thought old Charlie was a pretty cold number.

Maybe for them he was.

With me, he was gentle.

It's like you said, I'm not having much of a day.

You and Travis got me started on the wrong foot...

then a squad of flat-nosed guys...

jumped me and waltzed me around for a while...

and the cops are just tickled to death over it.

Why don't you and I just start fresh? Okay?

Okay.

I can't afford this place.

Me, neither. Let's go.

Deal.

I'll bring your coffee later.

Yeah, and don't forget the cream and sugar.

I don't see what the B.R.W. Has to do with it.

There's two things.

First is, that warehouse where I was taken...

was condemned, so I had a friend of mine run a check on it.

Found out that it used to belong to the B.R.W.

Second thing is...

that that is the union that Charles Kirkoff did most of his negotiations with.

Hey, this is good.

You don't think I'd stick you with a bad restaurant?

Just a cheap one.

Right.

They forgot the mustard.

You said you spent about two weeks with him down at his beach house?

Yes, I left a couple of days before he was murdered.

Did he ever have any business conversations while you were around?

All the time, he was funny that way.

He'd show off, sort of, like a little boy chinning himself.

Did he ever send you out of the room...

when any of those conversations were going on?

Why?

I'm just trying out a theory that maybe the cops haven't tried before.

Yeah. Twice. I think.

Did he ever say who he was talking to?

Did he ever mention any names or anything?

The first time, I don't know...

but the second time, when I was leaving the room...

I remember he mentioned a name.

I remember it because it was an unusual name...

Muzzy. He said, "What is it, Muzzy?"

Muzzy.

Do you know him?

Yeah. I think so.

Ten, 15 years ago, there was a promising middleweight.

He was a little flat-footed, so he didn't last long in the fight business.

His name was Muzzy Vinette.

Where are we going?

Nowhere, I just want the mustard.

Good morning, Mr. Rockford.

Ahem.

I'm sorry. No, you don't. Goodbye.

I have an appointment, J. Rockford.

I represent Kirkoff Industries.

It's about a personal injury insurance claim.

Our board feels it's unfair, and your labor authorities are pressing it...

so I'll have to speak to Mr. Dancer about it personally.

I'm sorry. Mr. Dancer isn't going to talk to you about insurance.

You see, Mr. Dancer runs this union. He makes administrative decisions.

We have an insurance claims department. You can talk to them.

I'm afraid I can't accept that. Just tell Mr. Dancer I'm here.

I'll show you to the elevator.

What is your name, please?

Don't pull that tired line on me. Just be a nice man and leave.

Look, this is really important.

Isn't there some way of possibly convincing you to let me see him?

Get out of here.

There must be some way of convincing you.

The only way you're gonna get in there is if you climb over me to do it.

Now, you want to try that? Just go right ahead.

Come on. There must be some other way.

Goodbye. Talk to our Claims Department.

The Claims Department. You're right. I see.

You've seen it before, huh?

Yeah. A couple of times.

Didn't you notice I was wearing glasses?

Maybe you'll see him, after all.

All right, bring him in.

You got any reason why I shouldn't book you for assault and battery?

I had to see you.

I figured if I take a poke at one of your gorillas...

either way it came out I'd end up in here and here I am.

You got 30 seconds, then you're leaving. So get it said, whatever it is.

What I want to say, you won't want them to hear.

He clean?

Yeah.

Go on, get out.

What is it?

I think you wouldn't like it if you found out...

that one of your boys on the payroll is moonlighting.

Yeah. That's right. I wouldn't.

I'm gonna do you a favor, Mr. Dancer.

You got a goon working for you named Muzzy Vinette?

This is the age of public relations.

Mr. Vinette is not called a goon.

He's called a labor organizer.

You can call him whatever you want.

Go on. Get to the point.

I'll bet you know if he has a gun, and if he does...

you probably know what caliber it is.

Come on, Mr. Rockford. Guns? That was in the '30s.

You're in some trouble, Al. I'm trying to help you.

Now, he's got a gun, we both know it.

I think that it's a Tokarev 7.62mm automatic...

and he took an independent contract to kill somebody.

Is that so? Who'd he kill?

Mrs. Charles Kirkoff.

Why should I believe you?

In this age of public relations, you can't afford not to.

Thank you. Is that all?

That's all.

If you're right, I owe you.

Put something in the mail.

I think he wants you.

Where's Muzzy?

He's got a girl stashed out by the country club. He's out there, I think.

It's her pad.

Marsh, go get him.

Pick him up and get any guns he might have.

Bring him in here. Go on, get going.

Get out of here!

Just what do you guys think you're doing?

I'm sorry.

He keeps getting stuck in the sand traps. Just go ahead and play on through.

Sit.

I was hoping you weren't gonna put that there.

I suppose you're here for your money.

Yeah, that's right. I sure am. The money, the $20,000.

Listen, I understand the police have the man, a Muzzy Vinette?

They sure do. Ballistics matched up the gun. He's the one that killed your mother.

He was the one hired by my father to kill my mother.

I told you he was a cold-blooded man, didn't I?

Look, Larry, if I could just have the $20,000, I'll be moving.

And who do the police think killed my father?

I don't think there's any doubt about who killed your father, Larry.

You killed your father.

You found out your mother was killed, picked up a rifle, killed your father.

Unfortunately, the cops can't find the rifle.

So they don't think they have a case.

I see.

And for this, you think I'm going to pay you $20,000?

Maybe you're right. I don't blame you for not...

going for the whole $20,000 under the circumstances...

but shall we make it $10,000?

I picked up on Muzzy Vinette for you. That should be worth $10,000.

What? Yeah, I suppose, $10,000.

So the police don't think they have a case against me. Is that right?

I'll mall it to you. Just send me a bill.

Now, look, Larry. We had a deal.

I want my money.

Right, Larry, why don't you just mail it to me?

Why don't you just do that?

I just don't believe that Charles could've hired that man to kill his wife.

I thought I knew him.

I wonder if he could've killed her because of me? Wouldn't that be awful?

Look. He killed her because she was about to ruin his reputation as a puritan.

Then she was gonna pick him clean in the divorce courts.

That's all there is to it. So don't make yourself the heavy.

I hate to let it lay, though. That kid is guilty.

They say you can't get away with murder, but Larry Kirkoff is gonna do it.

The cops aren't gonna press it. He's gonna get away clean.

Unless somebody...

who cared for Larry's father would take some sort of interest in the case.

What is that supposed to mean?

Look, in the heat of the moment, he hired someone to fix his wife.

There was bad blood there...

but, like you said, he was gentle and kind.

What do you take me for, some kind of mental deficient?

I just hate to see him get away with it, that's all.

Okay. How much?

$200 a day, plus expenses.

Come on, $100.

$200 and I'll throw in the expenses.

$125.

$175.

$150 and you buy the dinner tonight.

You got yourself a deal.

What are you parking here for? Why don't you let the attendant park it?

I just hate to pay $1 to have some attendant...

put scratches all over a car.

I'll be damned! He was using me.

Not the way you thought.

I never knew him at all. He wasn't trying to get away with anything.

He was just waiting for me to prove he was right so he could give himself up.

I'm really something.

I think "insensitive" is the word I'm looking for.

That doesn't sound like the Jim Rockford I know.

Clear-eyed, vigilant, precise...

Tangle-footed, myopic, obtuse. Let's get something to eat.

By the way, you're fired.

In that case, I'll buy you a hot dog.