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1
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Brace, brace! I'm bracing.
2
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,560
Hm.
3
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His programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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No, no, no, no, no!
5
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No!
6
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Ahh!
7
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What?!
8
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Hello! I'm Greg Davies,
and this is Taskmaster,
9
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the modern-day equivalent
of the Colosseum -
10
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,920
but instead of swords, we use tasks,
11
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,960
and instead of lions,
we also use tasks.
12
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,240
And, rather than contestants
fighting each other for
13
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,240
a life of respect and riches,
14
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,920
they're trying to get
a rubbish trophy.
15
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It's nothing like the Colosseum,
happy now?
16
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,200
How about you shut your sweet mouth?
17
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,200
How about you try writing
15 series' worth of intros?
18
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,280
Too busy going for a meal
with Debbie, aren't you, huh?!
19
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,920
Yeah! I see you!
20
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,720
Please welcome our gladiators
of tasking,
21
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Frankie Boyle...
22
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..Ivo Graham...
23
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..Jenny Eclair...
24
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,800
..Kiell Smith-Bynoe...
25
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,840
..and Mae Martin!
26
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And, sitting next to me,
a man who confided in me
27
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that he sometimes deliberately
revs his engine in traffic
28
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because it makes him feel like
he's in charge of all women.
29
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It's...
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Little Alex Horne!
31
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Hi, Greg. Hiya.
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Are you ready for another
brand-new game show?
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It's called Two Lies And A Truth.
34
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,640
Welcome, Greg,
to Two Lies And A Truth.
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I'll tell you two lies and a truth.
36
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,640
You've got to see if you can
s-spot the truth.
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00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,680
I have ridden a camel.
I have ridden a zebra. Yeah.
38
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,480
I have ridden a bicycle. Yeah.
39
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,096
I imagine you were the sort of kid
who never learnt to ride a bike.
40
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,880
So, you think I've ridden a camel,
but not a bike. That's right.
41
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,040
You've not made it through
round one.
42
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,760
Bad start. Prize task time!
43
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,400
Whoo. What have we got this week?
44
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,520
Well, Mr Yummy Scrummy,
you asked them to bring in
45
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,960
the object which,
whenever you look at it,
46
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,080
makes you feel the weirdest.
47
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,040
Oh. I feel weirdest when
I look at petrol right up close
48
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,440
for a really long time.
49
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,320
Greg will award five points for
the object he agrees is most likely
50
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,920
to cause a feeling of weirdness.
51
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,640
And the winner of the show will
take home five objects they probably
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00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,960
never want to look at again.
OK, Kiell, you're up first.
53
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,640
What object have you brought in,
why will it make me feel weird?
54
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,840
It's a... glove on a foot.
55
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,720
How do you feel?
56
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,600
I feel weird.
57
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:53,800
Where did you encounter
this foot in a glove?
58
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,880
Er, I-I created it. Oh.
59
00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:00,160
Although I should say, you can buy,
sort of, latex rubber gloves,
60
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200
but for feet.
61
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,480
I normally wear them,
I don't know if I am...
62
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,680
Yeah, there we go.
63
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,240
Oh, my God!
64
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,240
I've had them on under
my socks every series.
65
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,520
That's horrible.
What do you mean it's horrible?
66
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,920
Because you have got horribly
long toes anyway.
67
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,120
You could knit with those toes.
68
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,520
Thank you, Jenny, thank you.
69
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,840
Erm, where did you dream this up?
70
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,160
I knew it had to be a feet thing,
cos feet are weird, innit?
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00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,200
like, what are they?
72
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,280
Erm, and then, like,
rubber gloves and latex in general
73
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,880
are just quite like, ew.
74
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,320
The more I stare at it the weirder
I feel, it's a strong opener.
75
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,240
OK, I'll log that. Next up.
76
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,280
Mae?
77
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,720
I've brought in a small object
that I think can trigger like,
78
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,160
a deep existential crisis.
79
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,640
And that object is a mirror.
80
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,760
And, like... what are we?
81
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,080
Are we the meat, are the viewer?
82
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,560
"Are we the meat,
are we the viewer?"
83
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,880
One or the other.
84
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,280
So, they did an experiment in 2010.
85
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,720
If you stare into a mirror
for ten minutes,
86
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:18,760
66% of people experienced seeing
huge deformations in their face.
87
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,480
I agree, I've looked into
a mirror for up to ten minutes
88
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,560
when I was a child, and I found my
face to be horribly deformed.
89
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,920
Yeah. And I think it works.
However... Hm.
90
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,640
..if I stared at the
back of that mirror,
91
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,920
I wouldn't feel weird at all.
92
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,120
The thing that makes you weird,
I put it to you,
93
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,040
is your own reflection,
not the object you've offered up.
94
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,600
Pfff! Interesting. I mean...
95
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,040
What a round!
96
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:45,720
Ivo. I've picked some magnetic
detachable reading glasses.
97
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,360
At last! Here they are.
98
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,920
There's lots that's weird about it.
99
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,120
I'm basically thrown my uncle
under the bus here,
100
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,080
but every time he detaches
his magnetic glasses,
101
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,800
it creeps me out.
102
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,640
I think I'd, sort of, go, "Oh."
103
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,280
But when I stare at the glove foot,
I go, "Ooh""
104
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,880
Kiell designed that
specifically for the task.
105
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,200
He was so busy thinking
about whether he could,
106
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,000
he didn't stop to think about
whether he should.
107
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,360
The brief of the task was,
"Whenever you look at it,
108
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,880
"it makes you feel weird."
109
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,920
So, having to look at it for ten
minutes, that's immediately invalid,
110
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,400
whereas every time I see it,
that it makes me feel even
111
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,240
a bit weird - it's winning so far,
as far as I'm concerned.
112
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,920
Jenny. Greg, yes.
What did you bring in?
113
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,720
I brought in a magic
eye-painting book.
114
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,840
Yes. The original book, there it is.
115
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,800
And here is one of
the pages from her book.
116
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,960
I mean, you've all seen
these before, right?
117
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,840
It will work you,
you just need to look as if
118
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,600
you're looking through the screen.
Oh, do I need to try?
119
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,240
Well, you can, I mean...
120
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,720
Oh!
121
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,080
A steam train, you're right,
it was a steam train.
122
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,800
That has made me feel weird.
123
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,560
All right, well, great news,
Frankie, I think it's very unlikely
124
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,720
you're going to be last.
125
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,800
I've brought you medieval
paintings of cats.
126
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,160
Five points.
127
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,320
For some reason,
people in the Middle Ages
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00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,080
couldn't paint cats properly.
129
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,560
And it always looks really
weird and disturbing.
130
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,840
That's from the 14th-century
illustrated French manuscript
131
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,800
on Roman and Christian history.
132
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,680
I mean, I would argue
that cats are already weird.
133
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,880
And they, sort of,
know that they're weird.
134
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,280
I mean, that looks weird.
135
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,720
That's a guy who'd just been looking
in a mirror for about ten years,
136
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,920
then suddenly looked at a cat.
137
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,480
Jesus Christ, are we the meat,
or are we the viewer?
138
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,880
Do you know what I mean?
139
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,600
I mean, this is unbelievable
140
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,800
because some bloke who's brought
his uncle's glasses is going to do
141
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,000
quite well, here.
142
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:05,760
The least-weird thing
to look at on this occasion is
143
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,800
Mae Martin's mirror. I'm sorry.
144
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,120
1 point to Mae.
145
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,920
Yes, I can't give a magic
eye painting more than a mirror,
146
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,400
that's the truth of it. I'm going
to give them 1 point each.
147
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,680
Oh, bad luck.
148
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,160
That's fair enough.
149
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,360
And then, there's a big jump up,
unbelievably...
150
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,480
..to Ivo's uncle's
collapsible glasses.
151
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,600
It'll take 3 points,
can you imagine?
152
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,560
Giving 3 points for
bringing them in?
153
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,280
There was a diminishing return
of weirdness from the cats,
154
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,600
whereas the rubber glove on the foot
made me feel consistently weird -
155
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,520
and thus, Kiell takes 5 points.
156
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,120
4 points to Frankie, 5 to Kiell.
157
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,480
OK, let's task.
158
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,040
Great shout - and we begin by
splitting up one of the great bands
159
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,280
of the modern era,
and forcing them to go solo.
160
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,600
Hi.
161
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,920
Hi, Mae. Hi.
162
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,760
Oh, hey! Hi, Mae.
163
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,480
Hiya. Hi.
164
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,880
Ivo.
165
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,360
All right? Very well, thank you.
166
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,760
Hm. Polite young man.
167
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,600
How old do you think he is?
168
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,720
41.
169
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,320
Unlucky.
170
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,880
Hello. This is exciting.
Hi, there. I'm Jenny.
171
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,880
Hello, I'm Joe. What have you got,
you've got a trumpet? Yeah.
172
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,480
How marvellous.
Do you have piles, as well?
173
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,480
"Compose a solo for
this 41-year-old ma..."
174
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,720
I was right!
175
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,880
It doesn't say that.
176
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,960
"Compose a solo for this musician."
177
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,680
"The solo must be original...
178
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,720
"And less than 30 seconds long."
That's a blessing.
179
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,280
"You have five minutes.
180
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,880
"Your time starts now."
181
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,880
What instrument do you play?
182
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,680
The keyboard. The keyboard.
183
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,760
I think we will have my name,
184
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,840
and then, the word "taskmaster."
185
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,200
So, what notes are in that?
186
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,840
None. No. G-A, another A,
187
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,480
and then, in Taskmaster,
it's quite A-heavy, isn't it?
188
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,920
Hit that one. Right.
189
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,400
Oh! I love that.
190
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,960
So, is there any, sort of,
rhythm with that?
191
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,600
Yeah, jaunty. Jaunty.
192
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,160
Instead of playing it
with your hands,
193
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,840
you play it with your feet.
194
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,200
Shoe off? Yeah, shoe definitely. OK.
195
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:48,120
What I'll do is I'll just sing some
notes, and you just follow it, OK?
196
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,720
♪ Lee-lee-la-la-la-la!
197
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,000
♪ Compose a solo
198
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,600
♪ Less than 30 seconds
199
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,360
Faster, faster.
200
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,400
That's it!
201
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,680
A bit better?
202
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,560
And then, I will guess
how old you are.
203
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,480
You'll know when it's
the right number.
204
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,880
I think I might.
205
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,440
Yeah, I-I love that. Good.
206
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,320
I don't want anything
more than that.
207
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,960
Terrific.
208
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,240
Can I take that task off you,
Frankie?
209
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,720
And can I swap it for that one? Oh.
210
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,840
While you're here...
having that, as well.
211
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,600
"Make something that looks like
this musician's musical instrument.
212
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,680
"Then mime to your new solo.
213
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,000
"You may not use a musical
instrument in the creation
214
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,320
"of your musical instrument.
215
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,680
"Best performance wins."
216
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,520
I've got 15 minutes,
and my time, Joe, starts now.
217
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,520
Has it started, yeah?
It's started now.
218
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,840
Here's the high hat
right there.
219
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,720
How long's a drum stick, mate?
220
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,640
Bloody hell. Yes, it's more
complicated than you think.
221
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,000
Mine's less complicated.
222
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,240
Four strings, is it? Uh-huh. Yeah.
223
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,800
How many keys does it have?
25, I'd say.
224
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,720
25. Would you settle for seven?
225
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,200
Yours isn't quite as big as mine.
226
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,080
Oh, is that what we're doing?
227
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,520
Just... quite like accuracy. Ahem.
228
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,720
Unbelievable.
229
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,880
Pretty good.
230
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,840
Ah, finished? Yeah. OK.
231
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,760
Jenny, we... we frequently go
south of the waist band with you,
232
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,840
I've noticed. I didn't know that
trumpet players do get piles.
233
00:11:55,880 --> 00:12:00,480
Oh, yes. You did what then seemed,
to me, an extreme scat.
234
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,080
I'm so unmusical.
235
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,320
I don't even recognise
"Happy Birthday."
236
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,120
It's like something I can't do.
237
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,600
"I don't recognise 'Happy Bir'..."
238
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,080
We'll just let that slide?
You know when people start singing
239
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,760
"Happy Birthday" and expect you to
join in? And I panic because...
240
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,720
The cake must
give you a clue.
241
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,360
I don't understand!
242
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,320
OK, I won't let you see any of their
solos until after the break.
243
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,800
And if that's not enough
of a tease, why...
244
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,600
..here's a little bit of my leg.
245
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,800
Oop!
246
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,040
Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster.
247
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,440
It's part two, Alex.
Thank God for you, Greg.
248
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:47,840
Amen.
249
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,320
Bef...
250
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:52,520
Before the break...
251
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:55,160
Before the break, our cast used
five brilliant musicians
252
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,320
to create original solos, and then,
found they had to mime to their solo
253
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,400
on an instrument they'd made to look
like the real musician's instrument.
254
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,600
First up, with the voice of angel,
255
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,560
projected through
a banana-based trumpet,
256
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,640
it's Jenny Eclair.
257
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,960
Er, I'd like now to play for you
a solo piece called
258
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,080
the "Neen-Neen-Neen-Nana" song.
259
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,920
And give me a one, give me a two,
give me a one, two, three!
260
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,880
Thank you very much, yeah.
261
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,360
Think I might have piles now.
262
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,400
I felt it was a
powerful performance.
263
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,280
I think it's a beautiful instrument.
264
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,240
Could you convince yourself that
it was Jenny making those noises?
265
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,120
If I gobbled dish full of
recreational drugs,
266
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,400
I could convince myself
that was Jenny Eclair playing
267
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,520
that instrument, and indeed,
that instrument was functional.
268
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,920
Want another one? Yes, please.
269
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,360
OK, next up,
with a dramatic drum solo,
270
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,240
it's Frankie Boyle.
271
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,440
Drum solo on a count of four.
272
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,960
A-one, a-two, a-three, four!
273
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,440
I have no real memory of doing that.
274
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,440
Your face said, at the end,
"I think this has gone badly."
275
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,920
But I thought it was quite good.
276
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,200
Er, I'm a bit worried cos I'm just
enjoying all these. Who's next?
277
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,600
Well, there's still time. Er...
278
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,720
It's now time for a man who simply
oozes sax appeal, Ivo Graham.
279
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,080
Welcome to the Taskmaster
Jazz Festival.
280
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:04,160
It's Ivo Graham with
"Toxic Golf Fumes".
281
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,560
Take it away.
282
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,000
I very much enjoyed your instrument.
283
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,480
I enjoyed the keys.
All seven of them. Yes.
284
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,160
Colour. I enjoyed your
performance very much. Yeah.
285
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,120
Let's leave the sentence there,
I say.
286
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,320
Tick.
287
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,160
Who's next? All right, well,
now it's time for Mae Martin
288
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,000
on the double bass with the toe.
289
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:52,120
I'm so excited to present
my original solo, by Mae Martin.
290
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,520
Maestro, Mae-stro, am I right?
291
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,480
Er, sorry I don't want to lose
points for Mae-stro.
292
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,320
It's too late. OK.
293
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,800
One, two, three, four.
294
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,680
Thank you so much.
thank you so much.
295
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,640
I sense, while we were
watching that,
296
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,680
you were disturbed by
the sight of your own toe.
297
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,920
It doesn't look like that.
298
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,080
My foot does not look like that.
Does it not?
299
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,040
No. Very dainty. S-Sexy.
300
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,520
Just trust me.
You know what you need, don't you?
301
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,320
Yeah. Pop a glove on that.
302
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,200
They're like fingers,
they spread, too.
303
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,200
You see what I mean, feet?
What are they? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
304
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,360
What are they? Right! One left.
305
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,480
Yes, it's our final solo.
It's keyboard Kiell.
306
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,840
One, two, three, and...
307
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,600
♪ Compose a solo
308
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,160
♪ Less than 30 seconds
309
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,000
♪ Compose a solo
310
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,600
♪ Less than 30 seconds
311
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,560
♪ Compose a solo
312
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,480
♪ Less than 30 seconds long,
as long,
313
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,440
♪ That's 30 seconds long...
314
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,560
♪ What's your age young man?
315
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,200
♪ 41
316
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,960
♪ 42
317
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,400
Thank you, Kiell. That's all right.
318
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,680
I, sort of, felt I couldn't
look away from it,
319
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,720
but I also found it
quite unsettling.
320
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,080
Sexy, though, right?
321
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,720
So sexy. Yeah.
322
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,680
I'm 54, by the way.
323
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:55,840
I'll do you a song later.
324
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,360
Oh, Christ, that is so hard,
I enjoyed all of them.
325
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,520
I'm going to give Kiell, Ivo,
326
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,440
and Jenny 5 points. Ooh!
327
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,320
And I'm going to give
Frankie and Mae 4 points.
328
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,880
Oh? I've literally lost
my goddamn mind.
329
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,920
Well, there we go, that's 5 points
to Jenny, Kiell and Ivo.
330
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,440
Hooray!
331
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,640
Scoreboard time! Yes, it is.
332
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,720
Last week's winner is in last place.
333
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:25,120
Mae's got 5, Kiell has 10 points
in the lead at the moment.
334
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,720
What's next, Alex?
335
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,880
Well, Greg it's the first
team task of the series.
336
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,640
Ah. Hi. Hello, Mae.
337
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,280
A potato? Excellent.
338
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,400
Thanks.
339
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,320
Please, can you put that down.
340
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,160
Yeah.
341
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,800
You can pick up the potato. OK.
342
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,000
Right. Hello! OK!
343
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,760
Hello, I'm so sorry,
I can only bring you down.
344
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,360
What are you talking about? No way.
345
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,840
It's lovely. Oh, thank you.
Why have you got a large potato?
346
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,640
I brought it from home.
Oh, good, I wish I'd brought one.
347
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,360
We could've had... For luck.
..jackets in the garden.
348
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,000
Sometimes with a potato, you can
smell when they're on the turn.
349
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,120
Yeah.
350
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,520
Look, we have another friend. Hello!
351
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,240
Yo. What's happening?
352
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,720
Hey. You all right?
How are you? I'm good, you?
353
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,440
Would you like to hold the potato?
354
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,840
I'd love to. There you go. Enjoy.
355
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,000
Thank you.
356
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,480
Hello, Frankie. All right, man.
I've got a potato here.
357
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,800
Hello, Alex. Hello, Ivo.
358
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,880
Sorry to interrupt you
about the potato.
359
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,040
"Build the highest bridge over
the middle of the red green..."
360
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,720
Red green? Red green.
361
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,040
Right, I'll start again.
362
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:13,360
"Build the highest bridge over
the middle of the red green.
363
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,960
"And balance the potato on
the middle of the bridge.
364
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,160
"The potato may not be
anchored in any way.
365
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,160
"If anything touches the red green,
366
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,440
"you must put everything back
where you found it...
367
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,720
"Tut, and go back to
the drawing board.
368
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,200
"You have 20 minutes.
369
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,600
"Your time starts now."
370
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,160
I can do the tutting.
371
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,080
I'll just stand here
and get ready to tut.
372
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,840
As the clever one,
you start planning... No!
373
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,320
..and I go and get a whole
load of random shit.
374
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,680
The first thing Frankie's done
is send me away.
375
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,960
The team of three seemed very
comfortable together straight away.
376
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,920
Good chemistry. Good chemistry.
377
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,160
What's going on here?
378
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,520
I didn't know he w...
379
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,080
I thought it was some bloke
delivering something.
380
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,760
So, you didn't know who Ivo was?
381
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,240
I did once I, like, fully
took him in, but I thought,
382
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,160
"Someone's just wandered
into the shot."
383
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,840
I would say watching Frankie and Ivo
they were the most, like, a,
384
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,880
sort of, father-and-son team
we've ever had -
385
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,320
except a father and son who haven't
really spent any time together.
386
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,240
It's what you want from
the team task.
387
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,160
The crackle of tension.
388
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,520
Not some bloody mic-muffling hug,
thank you very much.
389
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,160
Thank you very much.
390
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,680
We all sniff a potato,
and then, get on?
391
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,720
Boring! Not for me and my dad.
392
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,136
Do you want to see
the boring team of three first?
393
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,920
Yeah, let's get them out of the way,
being all nice to each other.
394
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,120
Then we can get on
to this fucking shitshow.
395
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,760
Here we see Jenny, Kiell, and Mae.
396
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,840
- Gather stuff, come on.
- Right, OK.
397
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,240
Gang. I'm getting different stuff.
398
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,040
Oh, I've never done this before.
399
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,640
It looks like there's
shit on this one.
400
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,240
You want it as high as possible.
Barrel on top of barrel.
401
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,480
Get it high.
402
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,960
Oh, loving your work. Wait.
403
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,920
Everyone stop.
I touched the red green.
404
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,600
Please put everything back, tut,
and go back to the drawing board.
405
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,040
No... I'm so...
Why did you tell them?
406
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,360
Why did you tell them?
407
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,720
We have to tut.
408
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,600
Please be careful, Jenny.
Don't do yourself.
409
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,400
Don't - stop patronising me. OK.
410
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,720
Back to the drawing board, please.
411
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,760
Touch the drawing board.
412
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,760
Oh, no, no!
413
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,240
Did it touch it? I think you may
have just touched it.
414
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,600
I did, yeah.
415
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,320
Oh, tut.
416
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,360
Back to the drawing board!
417
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,960
You think two blue...
418
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,080
Two blue, barrels on top.
419
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,400
It's got to be as tall as possible.
420
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,240
I think the best way we're going
to do it is with duct tape.
421
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,920
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think
we can get higher than this?
422
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,440
Yes! Is a pole taller than
these at the moment?
423
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,720
Like that? Yeah, we ca...
424
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,720
OK, OK. So, we just need duct tape.
425
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,120
We have a new plan.
426
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,120
I-I'm putting this down.
Fuck that. OK.
427
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,960
Why don't we make this wider?
428
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,920
Three-and-a-half minutes.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
429
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,560
OK. Ooh, no, no, no!
430
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,840
Two minutes, 20. Careful, careful.
431
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,440
I can't bear it.
432
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,760
OK, slow raise at the same time.
433
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,120
♪ Come on, magic potato
434
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,080
♪ Up to the sky
435
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,200
♪ Up to the sky
436
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,240
Stop the clock, I think.
437
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,280
I think we could go higher.
No, I'm scared.
438
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,800
I'm coming round to help, Mae.
439
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,240
OK... Oh, whoa, whoa!
440
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,120
Come on a bit more.
Come on, higher, higher.
441
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,400
OK, stop the clock, stop the clock.
Higher, higher. No!
442
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,480
Higher, stop the clock now!
443
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,120
You want me to measure it?
Yes! Yeah.
444
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,880
OK, lovely stuff. Ohh!
445
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,520
Well done. Super teamwork.
446
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,600
Oh... No, don't let it touch!
447
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,240
First things first.
448
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,800
Let's see a clip of Jenny getting
rid of that plank again.
449
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,880
Here she is. Yeah.
450
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,200
Fuck that!
451
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,600
Yeah.
452
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,256
She did say, at one point,
"It's like a day out with your nana,
453
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,760
"but quite a weird nana."
454
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,880
You got the magic potato
up to the sky,
455
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,680
and I think you're a lovely team.
456
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,040
Yeah, they did pretty well.
457
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,440
They got about the same height
as if you imagine the average
458
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,120
three-year-old standing on the
shoulders, or the head actually,
459
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,080
of maybe a taller-than-average
ten-year-old,
460
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:48,440
or an average 11-year-old.
That's about the - so two...
461
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,760
How high, was it?
Two metres 40, sorry. Right.
462
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,440
Right, then, everyone,
we're halfway through the show.
463
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,080
Alex, run me a bath, and then,
get your scrubbing brush.
464
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,440
Let's see if we can't some
of this dead skin off.
465
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,960
Hey, hello! Welcome back
to part three of Taskmaster,
466
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,640
where I'm now as smooth as an eel.
467
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,440
Yes, we got it all off!
We got it all off...!
468
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,480
Mm, mm!
469
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,440
The current task involves trying to
make the highest bridge to support
470
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,280
a potato, but if anything
touches the red green -
471
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,960
it's quite salty -
they have to put everything back
472
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,400
where they found it, tut, and go
back to the drawing board.
473
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,520
We've seen the team of
three build and tut,
474
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,480
now let's see Frankie and Ivo
work together as a pair.
475
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,160
Do you want some chalk?
Yes, I would, please.
476
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,360
I don't actually...
477
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,280
You know, I don't want to come
across as too much of a snowflake,
478
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,520
but, er, I don't enjoy the sensation
of chalk on a chalkboard.
479
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,080
Ah.
480
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,160
Oh, I like those.
This might inspire something.
481
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,120
I haven't done much with
the board yet.
482
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,800
Hm.
483
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,040
I think I'd probably like
to borrow a s...
484
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,320
A board brush.
485
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,200
Er, a board clearer,
a dusting... tool.
486
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,960
Lot of pressure on Frankie, I think.
487
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,160
What's your idea?
488
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,400
Well, I've certainly
cleared the board.
489
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,640
My idea right, and it may be
a bad idea... Good.
490
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,280
..we just try and go from the top of
the caravan to the top of that,
491
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,240
kind of, geodesic dome.
492
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,920
And we stick the potato
in the middle.
493
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,480
To the top of what? The geo...
494
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,880
Our geodesic dome.
495
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,560
It's probably - is that what it is?
The ge-geodesic dome. Yeah.
496
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,640
That little greenhouse.Great.
497
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,160
It's really the opposite of
the shape we need.
498
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,600
Well... Well.
..that's an ugly start.
499
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,520
It certainly makes you think
about what could be achieved
500
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,360
closer to the... Yeah.
501
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,080
Ivo. Yeah?
502
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,600
That's lower than the ladder.
503
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,920
That's lower than the ladder.
504
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,240
Well, I think we should abandon
that and move nearer the thing.
505
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,680
OK, don't drop that.
Can we be in it?
506
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,600
Yeah, we can be human parts of the
bridge, nothing says we can't.
507
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,880
Yes!
508
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,240
I'm going to have a bit of a
rootle round the house.
509
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,840
We could roll it in a tube. Mate.
510
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,760
The second ladder. Frankie!
511
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,320
Yeah. Perhaps we should've done
more work on our planning phase.
512
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:27,680
I think skipping the plan
was thrilling.
513
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,640
Now, measure the blighter.
Yeah, yeah.
514
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,720
I don't really know
how to measure it.
515
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,080
What's the matter, Alex?
Can't reach our spud?
516
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,600
There we go.
517
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,680
Very happy with that.
Well done, Ivo.
518
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,080
I'm going to let this go now.
519
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,280
This is like a 1970s sitcom.
520
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,760
People from a different class!
521
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,080
"I'm the lord, but he's the master."
522
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:02,680
I feel, despite what might seem
like differences between us,
523
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,240
I've got nothing but love
for Mr Ivo Graham.
524
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,400
And I felt that most of the
success of the task was due to Ivo
525
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,440
prompting me to be less wrong.
526
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,760
A really genuinely sweet thing that
527
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,120
somehow still sounded like a threat.
528
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,680
How high did they go though?
529
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,720
It was as high as Hagrid
jumping over a loaf of bread.
530
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:31,080
Well, he's two metres, 59 -
two metres, 81.
531
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,400
41 centimetres higher than
the team of three.
532
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,680
Well, they both fairly effective,
weren't they?
533
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,240
Yes, but there must be a gulf.
Yeah, five and three.
534
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,400
OK, so 3 points to
the team of three,
535
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,360
5 points to Daddy and Son!
Daddy and Son!
536
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,960
Let's have a rootle around
and see if we can get another task.
537
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,440
Yes, here we go, deep breath.
538
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,120
Kiell. How's it?
539
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,360
Watch this.
540
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,840
How'd you do that? Uh-huh.
541
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,600
Well, that was cool. Thank you.
542
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,240
Oh, it went, oh...
543
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,840
Did that not work?
It was meant to go the other way up.
544
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,120
Hi, chief.
545
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,360
Are you ready? Oh, yeah.
546
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:48,560
"Achieve the most impressive
effect with a single breath.
547
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,120
"You must take your breath
and achieve your effect
548
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,720
"within the next 20 minutes.
549
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,760
"The most impressive effect..."
550
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,520
Effect.
551
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,120
Hm.
552
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,480
Blowing out a... a candle,
553
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,120
not in itself very impressive.
554
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,600
But perhaps if it achieved
complete darkness within a space,
555
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,640
that would be quite boring
and bad television.
556
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,800
I need to find a dying frog.
557
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,480
Or a tiny bird that I can give
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to.
558
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,080
Is it raining? No.
559
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,600
All right, come on, then.
560
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,000
Is this the first time in,
15 series of this show,
561
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,320
that we've been asked
for a dying frog?
562
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,520
Second. Second.
563
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,000
Second time.
564
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,320
Well, I'm very keen to see the
impressive effect that these people
565
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:43,600
did with a single breath.
566
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,240
Oh.
567
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,280
Lovely.
568
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,920
OK, up first, it's Mae and Kiell.
569
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,560
Hello, again. Hi.
570
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,720
This is just phase one.
571
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:00,880
So, we need some pipes.
572
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,520
Couple of bricks.
573
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,000
It's going to be incredible.
574
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,960
I've never worked so hard
in my life.
575
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,800
Right, you've put a mop on a duck.
576
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,080
On a shed.
577
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,040
Yes.
578
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,240
You've got four minutes, Mae.
Oh, my God.
579
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,760
Argh!
580
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,560
That's not even science, man.
581
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,240
I'm going to blow it down,
one huge breath,
582
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,000
and then, hopefully it's going
to hit the xylophone.
583
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,600
That's the end, that'll be...
584
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:37,880
That'll be the...
585
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,120
Ahh!
586
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,160
Oh, my God.
587
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,400
Good luck, Kiell.
588
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,400
Ah!
589
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:54,960
Ready? Good luck.
590
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,120
Don't fail me, OK.
591
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,960
You ready? I'm ready.
592
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,600
Are you ready?
593
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,840
They're ready.
594
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,240
Ahem.
595
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,600
Ohh!
596
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,760
Hee-hee-hee!
597
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,840
Oh, God, that was satisfying.
598
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,160
I'm going to blow this
with a single breath.
599
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,040
Someone'll say that was
more impressive that what I did.
600
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,560
And I'm going to kick off.
601
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,280
Mae, I think you're fast becoming
an expert at these tasks.
602
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,720
Oh, thank you.
603
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,840
They beaver away,
they create something.
604
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,720
I beaver away famously.
605
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,080
I...
606
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,080
Great beavering. And...
607
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,120
Thank you.
608
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,040
..what a lovely pipe at
the end of it, as well.
609
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,960
There was a real contrast
between the two.
610
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,440
Oh, come on!
611
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,200
What Kiell's very good at is
having the confidence of someone
612
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,200
who's doing a good job.
613
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,120
The self-belief is sensational.
614
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,680
I didn't really take into
consideration that...
615
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,640
..I'm not able to blow a golf ball.
616
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,200
Oh, no, stuff went wrong
way before then.
617
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,280
Next up are two comedians
known simple as Jenny Eclair
618
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,200
and Frankie Boyle.
619
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,800
Hello, Jenny. Hello, Alex.
620
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,880
I'd like to show you my party trick.
621
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,280
Er, the most impressive thing
I can do with a single breath...
622
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,600
..is save this caravan.
623
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:15,960
About here is it? Yeah.
624
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,920
You just need to be ready to duck.
625
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,520
I'm ready to duck.
626
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:27,200
Going to save this caravan
from a roaring inferno.
627
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,560
Jenny?
628
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,920
Jenny?
629
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,880
I saved the caravan!
630
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,400
Is it definitely out? Yeah.
631
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,280
Was it one breath? One breath.
632
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,320
Can I just check - can we stand down
all the fire officers now?
633
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,440
Slightly over the top, wasn't it?
634
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,560
There's a lot of them.
Thank you, Jenny.
635
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,520
Single breath.
636
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:33,760
Do you think it was impressive?
637
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,560
It would've been impressive
if they'd let me really set fire to
638
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,360
the curtains, but they were
being a bit wet about it.
639
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,040
Yeah, so it is their fault,
but really, it was just you
640
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,960
blowing on the corner of a curtain.
641
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,720
She saved the caravan,
there's no doubt about it.
642
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,600
If she hadn't blown it out...
It would've been a blazing inferno.
643
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,400
Yeah. Why was I so impressed by
Frankie Boyle being a naughty boy?
644
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,240
Everyone hates golf.
645
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,040
Everyone.
646
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,640
I've never really played golf,
647
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:03,960
because I'm not trapped in
648
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,080
a loveless marriage.
649
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:13,160
Frankie got slightly lucky, cos our
garden backs onto a golf course.
650
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,560
Your first instincts were to blow a
whistle in a matinee or a church.
651
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,040
Both of which I would've enjoyed.
652
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:25,840
OK, one part left until someone wins
a glove that Kiell put on a foot.
653
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:27,200
Feel the rush!
654
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,360
Hello! And welcome back
to Taskmaster.
655
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,280
We've got a task that
needs completing,
656
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,080
and Alex is about
to fill you in on why.
657
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,880
Yes, the comedians have been trying
to achieve the most impressive
658
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,360
effect with a single breath.
659
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,800
There's only one person
left to see, and it's Ivo!
660
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,680
Can I try and get on the radio
and just breathe?
661
00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,880
Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah.
662
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,280
When I'm speaking to the producer,
I'm a bit more like, er,
663
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,320
"Yes I've got an opinion
about wind farms."
664
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,720
But then, once I'm on the air...
665
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,880
Erm, 5 Live.
666
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:13,920
Yeah, you've got...
667
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,680
Y-Yeah, I know... 12 minutes.
668
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,080
It's just hung up.
669
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,800
Er, I'll instead call, er, Greg.
670
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,440
Will he recognise your breath?
671
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,080
Hello, I'm sorry,
but the person you've called...
672
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:34,960
No!
673
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,160
That's agony. That's agony.
674
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,800
I will breathe down a phone today.
675
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,520
Right.
676
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,160
Three-and-a-half minutes,
by the way. Yeah.
677
00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:01,680
Er, I'd like to apologise for the
wilful damage of fancy glassware.
678
00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,480
I'm going to call Ed Gamble.
679
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,360
Previous Taskmaster contestant.
680
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,400
Winner and host of
the Taskmaster podcast.
681
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:14,800
Hello, Ivo.
682
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,680
Is Ed still on the line?
No, he hung up.
683
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,880
It feels like 1 point,
doesn't it?
684
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,200
I mean, the whole attempt
was extraordinary.
685
00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:50,200
The trouble is nothing happened.
It was a single breath -
686
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:53,680
and the single breath,
it had no effect at all.
687
00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:56,440
My instinct is, is to say
Ivo gets 1 point,
688
00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:00,520
but then, I remember Jenny blowing
on the corner of a curtain.
689
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,600
I'm going to give them both 1 point.
690
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,400
You're giving Jenny fewer
points than Kiell.
691
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,600
Hey, hey, hey!
Look, don't bring me into it.
692
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,440
He's having a nice time over here,
let him do his thinking.
693
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,800
He blew at a golf ball three times,
and nothing happened.
694
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,640
Hey, hey, hey, look!
But he constructed a thing.
695
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,600
I can't believe
what's going on here.
696
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,160
I just, er, I need to report
from the front line,
697
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,760
and it was very disappointing.
698
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,800
Yeah, the first three!
699
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,880
And then, the fourth one
was fucking sick!
700
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,680
Yeah, but it was
a single breath, Kiell.
701
00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:35,600
Do you know what it is?
I've been hypnotised by your charm.
702
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,520
And I was about to give you 2 points
when you don't deserve them.
703
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,080
Alex! Thank God my little
assistant's here.
704
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,880
So, you can have 1 point, as well.
Shit's sake!
705
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,880
On point... Hang on -
mine is the same, the same?
706
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,160
Yeah. I-I don't know where
that finger's pointing.
707
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,000
To you!
708
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,160
One, one, one.
709
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,320
I mean, I've got to say,
710
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,320
I'm not especially impressed
with any of these.
711
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,880
Right, OK. What about me?
712
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,120
Well, there's, like,
the "bing" at the end.
713
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,480
Bing was good.
But is it a 5-point bing?
714
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,360
Yeah. I don't think it's
a 5-point bing.
715
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,320
Are you sure you just haven't
become jaded with
716
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:13,800
the concept of the show?
717
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,240
I don't think that's the case.
718
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,040
We haven't got a 5-point bing,
719
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,720
and I can't give a grown man
putting a golfer off 5 points.
720
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,440
Who wins the task, Greg?
OK, Mae wins the task.
721
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,040
And I've already told you
it wasn't a 5-point bing,
722
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,480
so logic would tell you that
Mae gets 4 points,
723
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:34,840
and Frankie gets 3.
724
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,440
OK, so well done, Mae, you've
sort of won the task, 4 points!
725
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,080
Kiell, are you all right?
726
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:45,440
I'm fumin'.
727
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,040
One last look at the scores!
At the top of the pile,
728
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,800
it's Frankie Boyle with 16 points!
729
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,080
OK, it's time to leave your seats
and head to the stage for,
730
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,040
guess what, the final task
of the show!
731
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,480
I'm already excited. Oh, yes.
732
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,800
Who's going to read it out?
Ivo Graham this time.
733
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,000
Ah.
734
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,800
"Create a recognisable picture of an
animal on the back of your T-shirt
735
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,160
"using the equipment provided.
736
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,080
"You must stay on your spot,
737
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,680
"and you must not move your spot.
738
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,080
"If you create the same animal
as someone else,
739
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,800
"you will both be disqualified.
740
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,320
"Best recognisable picture of an
animal on your back wins.
741
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,880
"You have 200 seconds."
742
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:39,160
Put an animal on your back.
743
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,480
If it's the same animal as
someone else, you get nothing.
744
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,800
Good luck, your time starts...
745
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,400
What sort of animals
are you hoping for, Greg?
746
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,840
Baboon.
747
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,080
Hedgehog.
748
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:57,840
OK, so remember, on the backs
of your T-shirts.
749
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,160
We've got halfway.
750
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,360
Go on, Jennie!
751
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,560
Oh, bless you, darling,
that's very kind. That's it.
752
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,640
That's all we need,
in terms of audience interaction,
753
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,080
one woman shouting, "Go on, Jenny."
754
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,160
Do you want the same woman
to shout anything again?
755
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,360
They could encourage a
different contestant.
756
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,360
Yeah, that's...
757
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,600
35 seconds left now, Greg.
Not long.
758
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:35,320
I mean, Kiell completed his
about two full minutes ago.
759
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:36,840
Frankie is also finished.
760
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,000
Oh, shi...
761
00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:48,760
Eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two...
762
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,080
Please put down your materials.
763
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,480
First to reveal their animal,
it's going to be Frankie Boyle.
764
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,480
Are you ready to witness
his animal?
765
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,480
I'm absolutely
beside myself.
766
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,200
It's the unmistakably rigid shape...
767
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,800
..of a deceased snake.
768
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,280
Frankie, is that what you were
trying to achieve?
769
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,080
Yes. Yes.
770
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:27,200
If there's one thing
you famously say about snakes,
771
00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:28,800
they are straight.
772
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,760
Lotta different kinds of snakes,
Greg.
773
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,360
Can we see the second animal?
774
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,120
OK, Ivo, please turn around
and show us your animal.
775
00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:48,280
Bearing mind that Ivo was the only
person who discovered the scissors.
776
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,040
I don't love what that implied.
777
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,840
What animal is it, Greg?
778
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,720
I think it's a jaunty giraffe.
779
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,400
I aimed for jaunty.
I'm glad that's been recognised.
780
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,760
Is it a giraffe?
781
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,040
Oh, oh, yes. I...
782
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,400
Jenny Eclair, what do we have?
783
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,440
Butterfly. Butterfly.
784
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,080
And it's really good. I like it.
785
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,520
This is Jenny's finest hour.
786
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:16,920
Are we ready for Kiell's?
787
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,440
Kiell used 30 seconds of
his allotted time.
788
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,520
Oh!
789
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,280
Oh, dear. Oh, no.
790
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,520
This seems very cruel.
791
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,880
But sadly, it's another snake.
792
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,520
It could be a stick insect.
793
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,000
Is it a snake, Kiell?
794
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,360
It's a bendy snake.
795
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:40,400
Fair point.
796
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,920
Frankie and Kiell were first
and second in the episode.
797
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,680
They're both...
Cruelly disqualified.
798
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,720
Both now out. OK, Mae.
799
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,960
Oh, my God, that's good.
Why's that so good?
800
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,440
It's not just a bit of tape
stuck on a board, Kiell,
801
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,920
that's why it's good. Fuck.
802
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,560
I think it might be
an extinct bird?
803
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,000
A dodo?
804
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,760
It isn't - oh.
805
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,720
But it's enough to say it's a bird.
806
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,480
Yeah, it's a duck. I-It's a bird...
807
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,840
It's a bird, that's what counts!
It's a bird. OK.
808
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,120
Two snakes bite the dust.
809
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,520
Who'd've thought that
the heel-clicking jaunty giraffe
810
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,800
would get 3 points?
811
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,120
And yet, there it is,
3 points to the giraffe.
812
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,520
And honestly,
they're both very good.
813
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:23,880
But for me, Jenny's beautiful
butterfly just takes it.
814
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,520
So, 4 points to Mae,
and 5 points to Jenny Eclair,
815
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:27,760
and that's an end to it.
816
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,920
OK, there we go, well done,
Jenny Eclair!
817
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,400
Come down, we'll see how that's
effected the final scores!
818
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,000
Well, that's got to put the old
proverbial cat amongst the pigeons,
819
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,560
hasn't it? It really has, and none
of them made cats or pigeons,
820
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:48,840
they made beautiful animals.
821
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,040
Yes, they did. Unfortunately,
there were two snakes.
822
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:52,320
The final scores are so close.
823
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,400
There's only 3 points separating
the five of them.
824
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,360
Frankie and Mae are
in joint-second place,
825
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:57,720
but the winner, with 17 points.
826
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,880
Ivo Graham!
827
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,640
Ivo Graham wins!
828
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,400
Please leap up to look at your
objects and feel weird!
829
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,120
So, what have we learnt today?
830
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,920
We've learnt that if your husband's
back late from a round of golf,
831
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,880
he's not necessarily
having an affair.
832
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,200
His swing might have been impeded
by Frankie Boyle's whistle.
833
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:22,520
That's all for now.
834
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,960
Four people didn't win this week,
but one definitely did.
835
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,200
And you know who it was?
836
00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:28,680
I know, it was Ivo Graham!
837
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:29,840
Bye!
838
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:57,000
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