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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,880 -Sarppa! -Yeah? 2 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,160 -Can you smile in a way... -Yeah? 3 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:25,840 In a way that'll make your eye wrinkles go away? 4 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,640 Yeah. 5 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,360 That's not any better. 6 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,160 Wait. 7 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,680 Just keep doing what you were doing. 8 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,000 -Despite the wrinkles? -Yeah. 9 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,680 Yes. Henkka, what's your situation? 10 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:51,840 This isn't...This isn't working. 11 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,120 -Sorry, Sarppa. -No worries. 12 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,720 No worries. Let's go to Plan B, buttermilk. 13 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,520 Yes, okay. 14 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,880 Take your starting positions. This is the last shot of the day. 15 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,400 Great work. This is going to be good. 16 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,920 -Sari, ready. -Yeah. 17 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,120 Here we go. 18 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,200 Let's get this in one take. Stick your tongue out. 19 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,039 Action! 20 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,559 (I Know Who You Did Last Summer) 21 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:08,600 Whew. My jaw's all locked. 22 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,920 Henkka didn't finish, did he? 23 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,759 -No. Performance anxiety. -Amateur. 24 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,280 I have a bit of bad news. 25 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,120 -Just when I needed good news. -Don't we all. 26 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,559 Sari. 27 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,920 You're fired. 28 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,480 -What? -How should I put it... 29 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:38,200 -Just say it. -Your face is too old. Pussy too. 30 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:44,360 -My best MILFs are between 25 and 30. -Girls that young aren't mothers. 31 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,480 There are some people who like GMILFs, 32 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,840 'grandmother I would like to...' 33 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,960 But you're not there yet. 34 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:57,000 -You have to have something for me. -I only have this. 35 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,080 Of course, if you had some new skill... 36 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,760 -Like what? -Squirting. 37 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,360 -Are you serious? -You can learn it. 38 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,479 Multi-talents are valued in our industry. 39 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:15,919 Hi. 40 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,639 F**ck, f**k, f**k! Hi. 41 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,519 (Past Due) 42 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:49,040 (Today I'll teach you how to squirt, also known as female ejaculation). 43 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,920 (Before we start, remember to drink some water.) 44 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,480 (Squirting is pretty difficult at first.) 45 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,080 (Older women, especially, might have problems) 46 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,880 (because as you age, your vagina doesn't get that wet anymore.) 47 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,360 (Right?) 48 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,000 (Let's start. You drank some water, didn't you?) 49 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,600 (Turn on the vibrator. Let's start.) 50 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,520 -Mum! -S**t... 51 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,800 Yeah? 52 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,880 Hi, honey. How come you're home so early? 53 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,760 How was school? 54 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:28,840 Did you know that the heart of a blue whale is the size of a car? 55 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:29,760 No, I didn't. 56 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:33,040 Don't spend all night doing homework. You have to rest. 57 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:38,200 -Take your shoes off. -Is that what life is all about? 58 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,479 Do you want noodles or noodles? 59 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:08,119 (Final Notice) 60 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,400 It's nice you could come on such short notice. 61 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,200 As you know, we have several job opportunities. 62 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:31,919 -I'm interested in any job. -Great. That's nice to hear. 63 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,320 Let's get to know you, Sari. 64 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,000 By the way, you look terribly familiar. 65 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,240 I get that a lot. 66 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:48,200 -Do you shop here at our supermarket? -No, I don't. 67 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,080 Well, then I know you from somewhere else. 68 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,720 So, what kind of education do you have? 69 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,440 Middle school. 70 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,919 Cosmetology school, I almost graduated. 71 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,080 -You've worked as a cosmetologist? -No. 72 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,880 I've mainly focused on my own face. 73 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,160 Yes. What kind of work experience do you have? 74 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,320 For the past 20 years, I've been a porn actress. 75 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,560 -Excuse me? -Adult entertainment. 76 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,480 -It's surprisingly hard work. -Excuse me? 77 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,040 F**king. 78 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:28,280 For hours, again and again. Long days and a lot of physical work. 79 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,240 You know, if you have a wife, or a husband. 80 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,760 For gays, f**king is really physical. 81 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:37,519 I once saw 2 guys on set, wrestling each other. 82 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,520 I believe I'd be good at stocking shelves. 83 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,240 We'll call you. 84 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,000 -Nice. When? -On the phone. 85 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,879 -Yes, but when? -When you hear the phone ring. 86 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,560 Okay. Yes. 87 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,600 (Register 4 now open.) 88 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,400 All right. Solakallio, Linnea. 89 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,720 You bet. Ready for anything. 90 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,800 Next is a speaking assignment. 91 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,520 Tell us what kind of director you are 92 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,240 and why you belong in the film directing programme. 93 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:22,080 Hi, I'm Linnea Solakallio, which you actually know already. 94 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,760 I want to study film directing 95 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,520 because I have things to say about the world. 96 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,000 My heroes include Agnes Varda and Jane Campion. 97 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,640 I should also mention David Lynch 98 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:36,480 because his surreal style has made an impression on me. 99 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:41,080 Of Finnish directors, well, frankly... 100 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,999 What I'm trying to explain to you is... 101 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,400 You should've seen their faces when I was done. Boom! 102 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,399 Everyone was blown away. I was too. Boom! 103 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,120 Boom. 104 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,639 -Is today Wednesday? -Yes. 105 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,600 -What? -Well. 106 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:15,240 You can say it. 107 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,640 I'm just finding it hard to get in the mood. 108 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,880 Tits. Would they help? 109 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,360 This was the fourth time I applied for film school. 110 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,760 If they don't take me now... 111 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,120 -They have to take me. Right? -Absolutely. 112 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,200 Film directing. The last outpost of patriarchy. 113 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,760 Goddammit! 114 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,919 I'd like to yank the balls off of all their male professors. 115 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,480 -What? -It's not working. 116 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,600 -Even though it's Wednesday? -Yeah. 117 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,559 Well, it's okay. I'm a bit tired anyway. 118 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,840 And no need to be ashamed. It happens to all men. 119 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,279 Boom. 120 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,240 F**k! 121 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,800 Yes! 122 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,520 Thank you, Mother! Thank you, Jesus! 123 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,799 The blood of Chekhov and Shakespeare runs through my veins! 124 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,520 Yes! Yes! Yes! 125 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,919 I can feel it! I can feel it all over my body! 126 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,319 I'm an artist! I'm a true artist! 127 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,160 Whose d**k do I have to suck to get into this school? 128 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:06,879 Well... 129 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,400 There's Jaakko, of course. 130 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,280 My d**k has no say in admissions. 131 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,160 Well, why are you sitting here and not making films? 132 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,800 When I graduated film school, there were only films of great men. 133 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,760 It wasn't my genre. 134 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,400 I did manage to make one feature film. 135 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,800 I haven't seen it. Did you give up? 136 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,280 You see, I won't give up. Ever. 137 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,560 But now you have to leave. 138 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,360 F**k! 139 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,639 Don't leave crumbs on the floor. 140 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,680 I understand that I'm unf**kable, 141 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,800 but you have to have something else for me. 142 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,360 -Like what? -Something else. 143 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,319 Anything. Producing! 144 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,040 -Hi, Sari. -Henkka, hi. 145 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,680 Okay, get back to work. 146 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,080 -What do you want? -I have years of experience. 147 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,959 -In a way. -You have to give me a chance. 148 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,560 Okay. Well... 149 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,560 Tomorrow. You'll come to a meeting with the distributors. 150 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,240 We'll negotiate on a distribution plan. 151 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,760 -Okay. -Now I have to continue, so... 152 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,800 -Let's hug. -No. 153 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,080 Thank you, Raita. I mean it. 154 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,840 -Henkka. -Yes? 155 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,440 -Come back. -Yes. 156 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,640 (Business World) 157 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,720 Mum. 158 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,320 Did you know that fighting fish are so aggressive 159 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,840 that they usually kill all other fish in the aquarium? 160 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,640 No, I did not. 161 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:09,200 -What are you reading? -This business book. 162 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,800 Are you going into business? 163 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,000 Yes, I am. 164 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,119 I'm going to become a business fighting fish. 165 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,800 Hi. Nice to meet you. 166 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,800 -Hello. Nice to meet you. -Please sit. 167 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,840 -Who is this? -Me, Sari. 168 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,960 Do I know her from somewhere? 169 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,680 Me, porn... 170 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,680 What's 'to produce' in English? 171 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,200 She's done many films with us. 172 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,680 But now, she's become a bit of an oldie, 173 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,680 so I'm trying to give her a shot. 174 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,320 Money shot? 175 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,400 It's a tough business, honey. 176 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,840 Few years back, I would've f**ked you. 177 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,000 -I would've even paid to f**k you... -Come on, man. 178 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,800 But there comes a time when not even the best nip and tuck does the trick. 179 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,799 Sari, please pour us coffee. 180 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,560 Oh...sorry. Sorry. F**k me. 181 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,480 -You want? -I'm good, Sari. Thank you. 182 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,839 -This is terrible. I'm sorry. -Please leave and let us negotiate. 183 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,600 Raita, we've known each other for 20 years. 184 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,319 It's not my problem if you have no language skills. 185 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,199 So... 186 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:44,320 -Are these blueberries or bilberries? -Bilberries. 187 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,840 Lucas, you look tired. 188 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:55,080 I've been up all night thinking about my thesis film. 189 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:59,080 Tarkovsky said it best. 190 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,080 'All art, of course, is intellectual,' 191 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,960 'but for me, cinema must above all be emotional and act upon the heart.' 192 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:13,160 It's a tough industry, the film industry. 193 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,080 True. 194 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,400 -What are you trying to say? -People keep asking me. 195 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,360 Asking what? 196 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:24,720 About you applying for film school for the 5th time. 197 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,239 I didn't know you applied again. 198 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,240 I did. 199 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,240 You have to realise it's not for everybody. 200 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,239 Lucas, come on. 201 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,720 Linnea can apply for it. 202 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,959 Yeah, right. But I'm sure enough is enough. 203 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,559 -F**k. -Linnea. 204 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:04,360 Lucas is an artist and has a temper. Don't mind him. 205 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,959 We just have to understand him. 206 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,560 You've always been more agreeable. 207 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,399 There are other jobs in the industry. 208 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,080 Catering, costumes. 209 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,720 Makeup. You would make a perfect makeup artist. 210 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,760 You'd be fantastic. 211 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:34,040 You'll find your place. A perky girl like you will. 212 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,839 I love you. 213 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,719 We'll wait for you. 214 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,080 I think everyone's here, so let's get started. 215 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,440 I want to wish you a warm welcome 216 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,320 to the CV course of the employment agency 217 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,520 where you will learn to write a CV. 218 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,840 Here, everyone gets a chance. 219 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:14,200 -I'm sorry I'm late. -No problem. Welcome. 220 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,480 Why don't we start by getting to know each other? 221 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,480 Let's form a row based on your age. 222 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,880 Up you get. Up you get. 223 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,759 Up you get. 224 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:34,720 What a nice row. You're an amazing bunch. 225 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,480 Let's start with you. 226 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,520 Tell us about yourself and your skills. 227 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,320 I'm Linnea, 22. 228 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,200 I've directed commercials and music videos. 229 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,520 I'm interested in film and intersectional feminism. 230 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,680 I speak English, Swedish, a little German, French, Italian. 231 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,640 I know 'information technology' pretty well. 232 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,200 -Great. -Excel, for example. 233 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,040 Amazing. 234 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,160 -And then you. -Yes. 235 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,120 Hi, everyone. I'm Sari, 42. 236 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,840 I'm an adult entertainment actress. 237 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,480 I don't speak languages or know Excel, 238 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,400 but I'm a hardworking girl. 239 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,200 Great. Amazing. 240 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,040 Then to the other end of the row. 241 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,480 Asko, 30. 242 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,800 I've been an entrepreneur for the past 5 years... 243 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,920 What the hell are you doing? 244 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,440 -He squeezed my a**! -Hey, that's sexual harassment! 245 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,760 I did not! Mrs Porn Star seems to thinks she's all that. 246 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,840 Stop bulls**tting. 247 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,360 -You'll kick him out, right? -Yes! 248 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,760 We're not throwing anybody out, are we? 249 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,560 -Let's behave, both of you. -'Both of you'? 250 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:55,640 Maybe he got the wrong impression because of your profession. 251 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,720 -My profession? -You... 252 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,560 You... 253 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,840 -You being a porn actress. -I didn't hear you. 254 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,680 -Whores can't hear. -Hey! 255 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,400 Listen, you all. 256 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,480 You might've seen a couple of my films, 257 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,720 but it doesn't mean you can squeeze my a**. 258 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,400 And you, 'inter-erectional' feminist, I don't need your pity or help. 259 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,160 I chose my profession. 260 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:29,400 'Here, everyone gets a chance.' You might want to update your slogan. 261 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:33,040 If you leave now, you won't get unemployment benefits. 262 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,720 I'll apply for a start-up grant and start a company. 263 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,360 In my company, everyone has human dignity. 264 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:43,679 Good-f**king-bye. 265 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,879 No unemployment benefits! 266 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,000 Hey! Wait! 267 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,320 -I want to help you. -What do you mean? 268 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,400 -I don't need your help. -I want to work for you. 269 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,320 -What? -I'll intern. I'll do anything. 270 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,400 -Why? -You're somehow so inspiring. 271 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,160 For once, someone does something and doesn't just talk. 272 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,280 Oh. I'm happy to hear that. 273 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:23,840 Thank you. 274 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,320 -What does it do? -What? 275 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,840 Your company. 276 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,480 -Porn. -I don't... 277 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,920 Nice porn. 278 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,840 Feminist porn, for women. 279 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,000 You said you're a director. 280 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,000 -Yeah. -Right. 281 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,360 Listen. You're hired. 282 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,440 Call me in the morning. 283 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,440 We'll start tomorrow. 284 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:56,920 Ciao! 285 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,559 Oh, s**t. 286 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,679 Okay. 20816

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