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1
00:00:03,297 --> 00:00:05,032
It’s been a fine
Day of golfery
2
00:00:05,033 --> 00:00:07,956
Here at the fifth annual
Fagen & harrison classic.
3
00:00:07,957 --> 00:00:10,923
Sam caponelli approaches
The ball, 15 under par,
4
00:00:10,924 --> 00:00:12,461
Attempting to break
The course record
5
00:00:12,462 --> 00:00:14,296
With a challenging
Dogleg to the left
6
00:00:14,297 --> 00:00:16,999
That finishes
In a "Ziggy" mug.
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,296
A hush falls
Upon the crowd.
8
00:00:18,297 --> 00:00:21,230
The electricity in
The air is palpable.
9
00:00:36,462 --> 00:00:37,758
Oh-h-h...
10
00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:41,627
And sam caponelli
Comes up short.
11
00:00:45,957 --> 00:00:47,098
Jeez, it’s
Cold in here.
12
00:00:47,099 --> 00:00:49,462
You can see
Your breath.
13
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:54,890
What a shot!
14
00:00:54,891 --> 00:00:57,428
Sam caponelli’s
Won the "Ziggy" cup!
15
00:00:57,429 --> 00:01:00,230
Oh, yeah, ziggy.
It’s nice.
16
00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:02,197
One, two, three, four!
17
00:01:07,924 --> 00:01:09,164
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
18
00:01:09,165 --> 00:01:10,923
♪ he’s got the world
In his hand ♪
19
00:01:10,924 --> 00:01:12,263
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
20
00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:14,428
♪ the work is never done
21
00:01:14,429 --> 00:01:17,329
♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh
22
00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:19,824
♪ way-oh, way-oh-ho
23
00:01:19,825 --> 00:01:21,362
Huh!
24
00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:22,362
♪ I am the working man
25
00:01:22,363 --> 00:01:24,329
♪ through the night
Till the morning sun ♪
26
00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:25,626
♪ I am the working man
27
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,263
♪ the work is never done
28
00:01:27,264 --> 00:01:30,395
♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
29
00:01:30,396 --> 00:01:31,956
Hey! Hey!
♪ way-oh-way
30
00:01:33,099 --> 00:01:34,362
♪ pray for
The working man ♪
31
00:01:34,363 --> 00:01:36,065
♪ always there
With a helping hand ♪
32
00:01:36,066 --> 00:01:37,593
♪ pray for
The working man ♪
33
00:01:37,594 --> 00:01:39,065
♪ the work is never done
34
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,296
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
35
00:01:40,297 --> 00:01:41,923
♪ another day
Has just begun ♪
36
00:01:41,924 --> 00:01:43,362
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
37
00:01:43,363 --> 00:01:45,462
♪ it’s never friggin’ done
38
00:01:48,561 --> 00:01:52,362
I got the balls
Of a 30-year-old.
39
00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:54,164
Like, off of e-bay?
Nah.
40
00:01:54,165 --> 00:01:57,890
I had a plastic surgeon
Tighten my nut sack.
41
00:01:57,891 --> 00:01:59,329
Uh... Wow.
42
00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:00,362
It was like
A tube sock
43
00:02:00,363 --> 00:02:03,395
With a couple of
Billiard balls
Down there.
44
00:02:03,396 --> 00:02:05,197
Well, nobody
Wants that.
45
00:02:05,198 --> 00:02:07,560
Mmm. I got a fresh
Set of kiwis.
46
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,758
You want to see?
47
00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,659
No. I’m good, sir.
48
00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:12,626
Yeah,
49
00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:14,726
But for how long?
50
00:02:16,363 --> 00:02:18,659
Fagen just tried to
Show me his balls.
51
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,560
Ugh. I always miss
The good stuff.
52
00:02:20,561 --> 00:02:22,395
What are
You doing?
Doodling.
53
00:02:22,396 --> 00:02:24,329
I find it a nice
Stress release.
54
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:25,065
On graph paper?
55
00:02:25,066 --> 00:02:26,494
No. I’m drawing
My own graph paper.
56
00:02:26,495 --> 00:02:28,824
When you’re done with
That, can you draw me
A piece of foolscap?
57
00:02:28,825 --> 00:02:31,362
Okay, I’ll have you know
I am extremely imaginative
58
00:02:31,363 --> 00:02:33,461
And have a very
Powerful artistic side.
59
00:02:33,462 --> 00:02:34,527
Oh, yeah?
Mmm-hmm.
60
00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:35,890
Okay, then draw
Me something.
61
00:02:35,891 --> 00:02:36,956
Like what?
Mmm...
62
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,230
Something you can’t
Get at staples.
63
00:02:39,231 --> 00:02:40,923
Why are you in
My office, sam?
64
00:02:40,924 --> 00:02:41,957
Oh, yeah.
65
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:46,999
Fagen had surgery
On his ballsand he tried
To show me them.
Men are always talking
About their balls.
66
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,297
They’re always
Ball-chatting.
67
00:02:49,924 --> 00:02:53,033
I like that.
Say that again.Ball-chatting.
Why would fagen want
To show me his balls?
68
00:02:54,825 --> 00:02:57,791
Because he can.This is his firm.
Metaphorically,
He’s got the biggest
Balls in the building.
69
00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:58,527
Well, I’ve got
Big balls.
70
00:02:58,528 --> 00:03:00,329
I don’t walk around
Waving them at people.
71
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:04,362
Sam, your balls don’t
Wave, they quiver.
72
00:03:04,363 --> 00:03:05,659
And then they hide.
73
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:08,065
Say it again.
Ball-chatting.
74
00:03:08,066 --> 00:03:08,957
Nice.
75
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:16,593
I received
Confirmation
That the funeral
Wreath was
Successfully
Delivered, sir.
76
00:03:16,594 --> 00:03:17,924
Sure.
77
00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:23,659
Funeral wreath?
What’s that all about?
78
00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,263
His aunt katherine
Passed.
79
00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:28,132
Really?
Yes. She’s dead.
80
00:03:28,891 --> 00:03:30,429
Aw...
81
00:03:32,957 --> 00:03:33,923
Hey, sam.
82
00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:34,626
Hey, clark.
83
00:03:34,627 --> 00:03:35,659
What can I do
For you, sam?
84
00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:37,000
Heard about
Your aunt.
Mmm.
85
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:41,330
Were you two close?Well, she took
My virginity.
Does that
Make us close?
You fucked
Your aunt?
86
00:03:41,858 --> 00:03:46,692
My aunt
By marriage.How does that happen?
How does somebody
Fuck their aunt?
Well, my dad accidentally
Killed my pet hamster,
Monopoly man.
87
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,626
You called
Your hamster
Monopoly man?
88
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:50,230
Yeah. So anyway,
I couldn’t stop crying,
89
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:53,296
So he shipped me to
The hamptons to visit
My uncle frank.
90
00:03:53,297 --> 00:03:55,296
Oh, and that’s where
You met your aunt kat?
91
00:03:55,297 --> 00:03:57,395
Yeah. You know,
We sat by the pool
92
00:03:57,396 --> 00:03:59,428
And read "Less than zero"
Out loud to each other
93
00:03:59,429 --> 00:04:00,659
While sipping
Kir royals.
94
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:02,461
It turned into
A torrid summer
Of passion.
95
00:04:02,462 --> 00:04:05,164
I can still remember the
Taste of chlorine on her...
96
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:06,725
Okay. I’m good.
97
00:04:06,726 --> 00:04:08,626
Mmm-hmm.
98
00:04:08,627 --> 00:04:10,330
Oh, clark,
99
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:16,560
Her death must be
So hard for you.Yeah, you know, sam,
It’s like underneath
Your soft douche
Bag exterior,
100
00:04:16,561 --> 00:04:20,363
There’s a softer,
Douchier interior.
101
00:04:20,957 --> 00:04:22,527
Clark, you’re hurt.
102
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:23,923
Well, you’re ernie.
What?
103
00:04:23,924 --> 00:04:25,560
I think
I misheard you.
104
00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:27,429
Just get out
Of my office.
105
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:32,363
Now!
106
00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:34,824
Douche bag.
107
00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:44,659
You, in front.
108
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:44,956
Yeah.
109
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:47,329
Sam asked me
What I thought
Of his balls.
110
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,428
And your question is?
111
00:04:48,429 --> 00:04:50,824
I don’t really
Have a question.
112
00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:52,923
Agh!
113
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,098
You dropped
Your note pad.
114
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:04,329
Hmm.
115
00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:06,230
Is... Is this a
Picture of a moose
116
00:05:06,231 --> 00:05:08,032
Dr... Driving
A race car?
117
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:09,032
It’s a squirrel!
118
00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:11,560
Oh, yes. Mmm.
Sam doesn’t think
I’m creative,
119
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,956
So I’m trying to
Prove him wrong.
120
00:05:13,957 --> 00:05:14,999
Yes, yes. Oh!
121
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,923
Yeah, that’s
A tail.
122
00:05:16,924 --> 00:05:17,725
He wants
A picture.
123
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:19,923
I’ll give him
A who-o-ole
Children’s book.
124
00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:23,230
Well, I-I think
It’s kind of got
Some potential.
125
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:26,561
Um, what are you going to
Have mr. Squirrel doing?
126
00:05:27,099 --> 00:05:29,032
I don’t know.
127
00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:30,461
Um...
128
00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:32,560
He could file
Depositions.
129
00:05:32,561 --> 00:05:34,165
That’s lame.
130
00:05:34,363 --> 00:05:36,197
Why don’t you
Have him represent
131
00:05:36,198 --> 00:05:38,164
All the little animals
Of the forest?
132
00:05:38,165 --> 00:05:40,395
Libel lion.
Ooh!
133
00:05:40,396 --> 00:05:42,428
Uh... Slanderous snake.
134
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:47,032
Uh, the tortoise that,
Um... Starts, um...
135
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:47,791
Fires.
136
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:49,362
You are good
At this stuff.
137
00:05:49,363 --> 00:05:53,494
Pathological liars
Generally have
Good imaginations.
138
00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:54,758
Okay. Grab a seat.
139
00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:58,560
I think I found
Myself a ghost writer.
140
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:02,296
Hey-y,
141
00:06:02,297 --> 00:06:03,999
Big guy.
Hey.
142
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,231
I got you
A present.
143
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,429
Gimme.
144
00:06:10,363 --> 00:06:14,132
Don’t shake it!It’s alive.
Hey, you’re right.
145
00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:15,824
Hmm.
146
00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:17,329
It’s a hamster.
Yeah.
147
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:20,098
His name is
Monopoly man.
The second.
148
00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:23,363
What the hell’s
A grown man supposed
To do with a hamster?
149
00:06:24,957 --> 00:06:25,725
Get out.
150
00:06:25,726 --> 00:06:27,824
No. No. No.
Leave the hamster.
151
00:06:27,825 --> 00:06:29,891
Nn-nn-nnn.
152
00:06:30,594 --> 00:06:32,000
Close the door.
153
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,132
Hey, buddy.
154
00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:42,626
Oh!
155
00:06:42,627 --> 00:06:44,560
It’s called
"The squirrel-arious
Adventures
156
00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:46,725
Of mr. Squirrel,
The squirrel lawyer."
157
00:06:46,726 --> 00:06:47,527
Who said what now?
158
00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:48,725
You didn’t think
I was creative.
159
00:06:48,726 --> 00:06:51,329
So you wrote a whole
Children’s book?
160
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:53,131
Yeah. That’s what
Creative people do.
161
00:06:53,132 --> 00:06:56,461
It’s only the
First nine pages,
But you’ll see:
162
00:06:56,462 --> 00:06:59,065
Robin howland
Is creative.
163
00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:00,999
Pass go,
Monopoly man.
164
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,594
Yeah. Collect $200.
165
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:11,066
You warm my
Heart, mr. Man.
166
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,560
Ever knock, stan?
167
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:18,131
Fuck knocking.
I own knocking.
168
00:07:18,132 --> 00:07:20,231
I own a shipyard.
169
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:21,494
This morning, mr. Fagen,
In the elevator,
170
00:07:21,495 --> 00:07:23,857
You were trying to
Tell me something,
Weren’t you?
171
00:07:23,858 --> 00:07:26,066
You’re damn
Right I was.
172
00:07:27,429 --> 00:07:28,857
What were we
Talking about?
173
00:07:28,858 --> 00:07:30,131
Balls, sir.
174
00:07:30,132 --> 00:07:32,824
And if you were
Saying what I think
You were saying,
175
00:07:32,825 --> 00:07:35,659
Then I’m here to tell
You, I have balls.
176
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,396
Uh... Elephant balls.
177
00:07:40,363 --> 00:07:43,890
It’s amazing what you
Can buy in chinatown.No. No, sir, no.
I mean, I have the balls
To move up in the firm.
178
00:07:43,891 --> 00:07:45,626
I have the balls
To make partner.
179
00:07:45,627 --> 00:07:48,329
Is that a fact?
Yeah.
180
00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,395
Well, what did
You do today?
181
00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:51,626
I gave one of our
Associates a hamster
182
00:07:51,627 --> 00:07:53,824
And I got another one to
Write a children’s book.
183
00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:56,362
What are you,
A kindergarten
Teacher?
184
00:07:56,363 --> 00:07:57,494
No.
185
00:07:57,495 --> 00:07:58,428
I’m partner material.
186
00:07:58,429 --> 00:08:00,626
And I want the opportunity
To prove it to you.
187
00:08:00,627 --> 00:08:02,824
Okay, then hand over
The elephant balls
188
00:08:02,825 --> 00:08:03,725
And I’ll think
About it.
189
00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:05,527
Sir, there are no
Elephant balls.
190
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,263
It was a metaphor.
All right.
191
00:08:07,264 --> 00:08:11,065
Then fire someone
And I’ll put you
On partner track.
192
00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:11,824
What?
193
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,824
I am giving you
The authority
194
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:16,131
To axe anyone
In this firm...
195
00:08:16,132 --> 00:08:17,758
Except me.
196
00:08:17,759 --> 00:08:19,527
And the butch broad
In accounting.
197
00:08:19,528 --> 00:08:22,428
We need her for
The softball team.
198
00:08:22,429 --> 00:08:24,363
Ricky’s a woman?
199
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:31,131
And this is
The boardroom.
200
00:08:31,132 --> 00:08:33,462
See? Yeah.
201
00:08:34,396 --> 00:08:36,395
Hey, robin.
202
00:08:36,396 --> 00:08:37,693
Come here.
203
00:08:38,297 --> 00:08:40,032
What?
Just come here.
204
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:40,824
Why?
Come here.
205
00:08:40,825 --> 00:08:41,890
Why? What’s
Going on?
Shh. Shh.
206
00:08:41,891 --> 00:08:44,758
Shh, shh, shh...
Why? I didn’t
Say anything.
207
00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:46,626
Look, I’m-I’m...
I’m sorry
208
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,527
I’ve-I’ve never
Paid enough
Attention to you,
209
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:50,626
Uh!
You know? To you.
210
00:08:50,627 --> 00:08:54,263
Y-your eyes are blue
And I just noticed that.
211
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:55,362
Mmm-hmm.
212
00:08:55,363 --> 00:08:55,824
Wow.
213
00:08:55,825 --> 00:08:58,494
And, uh, oh,
What’s that,
Monopoly man?
214
00:08:58,495 --> 00:09:00,560
He likes you, robin.
215
00:09:00,561 --> 00:09:02,296
Even though
You’re dead inside.
216
00:09:02,297 --> 00:09:02,593
What?
217
00:09:02,594 --> 00:09:04,395
Yeah.
Get-get the hell
Away from me.
218
00:09:04,396 --> 00:09:07,692
What have you done
To upset my fair
Lady, rapscallion?
219
00:09:07,693 --> 00:09:09,428
Uh! What the hell’s
Going on with clark?
220
00:09:09,429 --> 00:09:12,131
Well, I gave him
A talisman from
His childhood
221
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:13,999
And it opened
His heart.
222
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,032
What are you,
Crazy?
223
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:16,132
We don’t know
What’s in there.
224
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:21,230
I think I saw a rat
Crawl out of it.It’s a hamster.
Speaking of rodents,
Did you read my book?
225
00:09:21,231 --> 00:09:23,923
Yes. And I thought
It was surprisingly good.
226
00:09:23,924 --> 00:09:25,164
Yeah, I gave it
To my friend owen
227
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,824
To get a
Professional opinion.
228
00:09:26,825 --> 00:09:27,494
Who’s owen?
229
00:09:27,495 --> 00:09:28,692
He’s my
Rock climbing buddy.
230
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,494
He works in publishing.
231
00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:31,923
You don’t rock climb.
You’re afraid of heights.
232
00:09:31,924 --> 00:09:34,230
I only go up
Five feet, yeah.
233
00:09:34,231 --> 00:09:35,890
But then
I go sideways.
234
00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:38,165
It’s still
Rock climbing.
235
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:39,461
What’s wrong?
236
00:09:39,462 --> 00:09:41,890
Oh, fagen said
He’d consider
Making me partner
237
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:42,725
If I fired somebody.
238
00:09:42,726 --> 00:09:45,230
You can’t fire anyone.
239
00:09:45,231 --> 00:09:46,923
I can too.
240
00:09:46,924 --> 00:09:49,395
Okay, I could fire you
Right now, missy.
241
00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:50,857
No, you couldn’t.
242
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:51,890
Yeah, you’re right.
243
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,692
But somebody’s
Going to go down.
244
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,824
It’s very
Complicated, robin.
245
00:09:54,825 --> 00:09:56,263
A lot of ins,
A lot of outs,
246
00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:57,593
A lot of
What-have-yous.
247
00:09:57,594 --> 00:09:58,923
You’re going to fire vic.
248
00:09:58,924 --> 00:10:00,660
Pretty much, yeah.
249
00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:02,230
Vic!
Hey! You know,
250
00:10:02,231 --> 00:10:03,791
I have some new
Ideas for the next
Part of the book.
251
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:07,131
Okay, great. Listen,
Sam is going to try
And fire you.
252
00:10:07,132 --> 00:10:07,759
He is?
Mmm.
253
00:10:10,594 --> 00:10:12,164
Because I
Didn’t compliment
His testicles?No, I’m only
Telling you this
Because you’re
Helping me
With the book.
254
00:10:12,165 --> 00:10:14,791
It’s just a hazing
Thing sam does to
The first years.
255
00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:16,659
Oh, okay. Well,
That sounds like fun.
256
00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:18,263
Just like when
I go shark hunting.
257
00:10:18,264 --> 00:10:20,495
That’s how
I lost my arm.
258
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,659
It grew back.
259
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:26,660
Whatever sam does,
Don’t fall for it.
260
00:10:27,957 --> 00:10:28,857
Okay.
261
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,824
You wanted to
See me, mr. Claxton?
262
00:10:35,825 --> 00:10:37,923
Yes. Oh! Zoltan.
263
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:39,362
Oh. Please.
Hey, hey! Hey!
264
00:10:39,363 --> 00:10:41,263
Hey...
Oh!
Shh, shh,
Shh, shh.
265
00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:43,263
It’s okay.
Oh...
266
00:10:43,264 --> 00:10:45,098
Okay, we can sit.
267
00:10:45,099 --> 00:10:46,725
Please sit. Sit.
268
00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:49,131
Okay. Look,
Uh, zoltan...
269
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,692
Hey.
I hate
Immigrants, okay?
270
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:55,659
So I need you
To help me stop
Hating them.
271
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:56,857
And you.
Yes.
Okay?
272
00:10:56,858 --> 00:10:58,395
Okay?
Yes.
Like, I
Don’t know.
273
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,098
I don’t know. Maybe
It’s-it’s racism.
274
00:11:00,099 --> 00:11:03,824
Maybe it’s ’cause
You-you smell of,
Uh, of hummus or...
275
00:11:03,825 --> 00:11:05,362
Taco sauce.
276
00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:07,461
Maybe... Maybe
It’s ’cause I
Don’t understand
277
00:11:07,462 --> 00:11:10,131
What the hell
You’re saying
Half the time.
278
00:11:10,132 --> 00:11:12,461
Actually, those
Are all racism.
279
00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:14,759
I-I didn’t know that.
280
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:19,362
It’s progress.
Yeah.It’s progress!
Also, I think
You’re confusing
The smell of taco sauce
281
00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:22,032
With the smell
Of this giant
Wheel of cheese.
282
00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:23,098
Really?
283
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,725
Oh god,
You’re right.
284
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,626
Oh god.
285
00:11:28,627 --> 00:11:29,725
Thank you.
286
00:11:29,726 --> 00:11:32,561
Okay, that’s
Enough for today.
287
00:11:33,264 --> 00:11:34,956
Same time tomorrow?
288
00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:36,428
There comes a time
In every man’s life
289
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,560
Where he has to
Make a choice, vic.
Right.
290
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:40,032
Sometimes life
Doesn’t give you
That choice.
291
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,032
Sometimes life throws
You a curve ball.
292
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,131
I’m a badminton guy.
293
00:11:43,132 --> 00:11:44,956
Okay. Well, then...
294
00:11:44,957 --> 00:11:47,164
Sometimes life
Hammers that...
295
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,659
What’s the thing you
Play badminton with?
Shuttlecock.
296
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:52,627
Shuttlecock
Into your face.
297
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:57,890
Things happen, man.
They just do.
298
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,263
What are you
Trying to say?
299
00:11:59,264 --> 00:12:01,032
I’m firing you.
300
00:12:01,033 --> 00:12:02,462
You’re what?
301
00:12:02,858 --> 00:12:04,131
You’re... You’re fired.
302
00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:05,725
I’m sorry.
303
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,659
No, no, no. You know what?
No, I’m not sorry.
304
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,725
’cause you just
Don’t have the chops.
305
00:12:09,726 --> 00:12:11,362
What do you mean "Chops"?
Like... Like mutton?
306
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,758
No. No. Don’t focus
On chops, focus on fired.
307
00:12:13,759 --> 00:12:15,956
This has something to do
With badminton, doesn’t it?
308
00:12:15,957 --> 00:12:17,263
You don’t like
Badminton.
309
00:12:17,264 --> 00:12:19,131
Is it the little racquets?
310
00:12:19,132 --> 00:12:21,528
Is it the word
Shuttlecock?
311
00:12:22,561 --> 00:12:23,999
Shuttlecock.
312
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,890
Shuttle-cock.
313
00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:26,428
Why do you keep
Saying that?
314
00:12:30,594 --> 00:12:31,428
Maxine.
315
00:12:31,429 --> 00:12:32,857
Clark.
Uh, look,
316
00:12:32,858 --> 00:12:35,230
I know I never
Said it,
317
00:12:35,231 --> 00:12:37,230
But I’m-I’m
Really sorry
318
00:12:37,231 --> 00:12:40,131
That you lost your
Booby to cancer.
319
00:12:40,132 --> 00:12:41,197
That was
Three years ago.
320
00:12:41,198 --> 00:12:42,065
Shh, shh,
Shh, shh.
321
00:12:42,066 --> 00:12:43,791
And I just
Need you to know
322
00:12:43,792 --> 00:12:47,329
That I can’t
Tell which one’s
Fake, okay?
323
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,858
And I’ve tried.
324
00:12:56,495 --> 00:12:57,626
Robin?
325
00:12:57,627 --> 00:12:59,857
Hey. I’m owen,
Sam’s rock climbing buddy.
326
00:12:59,858 --> 00:13:01,066
Oh, sam doesn’t
Rock climb.
327
00:13:05,264 --> 00:13:08,032
Uh, yeah, mostly he does
A horizontal monkey thing.
Yeah.
Anyway, I was on
The tenth floor
For a meeting.
328
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,065
I thought I’d pop up.
329
00:13:09,066 --> 00:13:11,065
Oh! Well.
330
00:13:11,066 --> 00:13:13,164
Uh, sam mentioned
He sent you my
Squirrel book.
331
00:13:13,165 --> 00:13:14,527
Yeah. I have to
Admit, you know,
332
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:15,956
When I first
Thought, "A lawyer
Book for kids,"
333
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:18,131
I thought, "That’s...
That’s stupid."
334
00:13:18,132 --> 00:13:19,626
Oh.
Uh, no,
No, no, no.
335
00:13:19,627 --> 00:13:20,461
It totally works.
336
00:13:20,462 --> 00:13:21,824
It’s never been
Done before.
337
00:13:21,825 --> 00:13:23,857
No.
Except for
"Lawyer pigeon",
338
00:13:23,858 --> 00:13:25,626
But that was
For tweens.
339
00:13:25,627 --> 00:13:27,098
So you liked it?
340
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,032
I loved it.
341
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:29,461
It’s very creative.
Mmm-hmm.
342
00:13:29,462 --> 00:13:30,924
When my associates
And I are done
With our meeting,
343
00:13:33,033 --> 00:13:36,825
Why don’t you
Come and pitch us
The ending?The ending?
Yeah. Yeah,
I have the ending.
344
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,296
Oh, it’s
Fucking awesome.
The ancient hawaiians,
They used lava to
Clean their laundry.
345
00:13:42,297 --> 00:13:43,659
No bleach needed.
346
00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:45,032
Oh! There you are.
347
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,032
Time to finish
The book.
348
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,428
Chop chop.
Let’s go.
Oh, I can’t.
349
00:13:47,429 --> 00:13:48,824
You know,
Kaplan and I,
350
00:13:48,825 --> 00:13:49,758
We’re going
To montreal.
351
00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:50,659
No. That’s
Unacceptable.
352
00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:52,230
I’m pitching it
To a publisher
In two hours.
353
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,197
Well, mr. Squirrel’s
Already crossed
The rainbow river.
354
00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:57,858
All he has to do is
File the documents
In the sharing tree.
355
00:13:58,066 --> 00:13:59,329
But does
Mr. Squirrel
Do the merger
356
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,692
With the chipmunks
Or doesn’t he?
357
00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:03,461
Does he take
The beaver public?
358
00:14:11,231 --> 00:14:13,560
I’ve got the balls
Of a 30-year-old.
359
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,065
Yeah, I know.
You told me
This morning.
360
00:14:16,066 --> 00:14:18,132
Did I show
Them to you?
361
00:14:19,132 --> 00:14:22,164
Oh. No. No.That was andy.
Oh yeah,
You’re supposed
To fire someone.
362
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,329
How’s that going?
363
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:23,890
Yeah.
364
00:14:23,891 --> 00:14:25,659
I wanted to talk
To you about that.
365
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:29,857
Doesn’t our firm
Tend to, uh, phase
People out slowly
366
00:14:29,858 --> 00:14:31,197
Rather than
Fire them?
367
00:14:31,198 --> 00:14:32,131
You wussed out, huh?
368
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,923
No. I’m just...
Just, you know,
369
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:34,758
It’s very
Complicated.
370
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,098
There’s a lot of
Ins, a lot of outs,
371
00:14:36,099 --> 00:14:37,362
A lot of
What-have-yous.
372
00:14:37,363 --> 00:14:38,659
So no one?
No.
373
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,593
I’m going to make it
Easier for you.
374
00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:41,362
Fire claxton.
375
00:14:41,363 --> 00:14:42,494
He’s walking
Around the office
376
00:14:42,495 --> 00:14:44,131
Giving everyone
The qweebs.
377
00:14:44,132 --> 00:14:46,131
He’s even got a rat
In his pocket.
378
00:14:46,132 --> 00:14:47,428
It’s actually
A hamster.
379
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,956
No one’s getting
Any work done.
380
00:14:48,957 --> 00:14:52,263
He told a client
That we over-bill them.
381
00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:54,494
The fucker’s
Costing us money.
382
00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:56,099
Fire him!
383
00:14:56,825 --> 00:14:57,890
Fire him?
384
00:14:57,891 --> 00:15:00,527
That’s how a partner
Rolls, stan.
385
00:15:03,627 --> 00:15:04,891
Oh...
386
00:15:14,132 --> 00:15:15,956
Ugh, god, this
Isn’t very good.
387
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,164
Well, I only
Have 20 minutes.
How do I fix it?
388
00:15:18,165 --> 00:15:21,956
Uh, you know, robin,
I was once like you,
389
00:15:21,957 --> 00:15:23,923
Detached,
Morally bankrupt,
390
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,593
An emotional coward,
A bad tipper...
391
00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:27,923
Clark!
Robin.
392
00:15:27,924 --> 00:15:30,923
Dust off your
Heart, okay?
393
00:15:30,924 --> 00:15:33,626
Dare to show them
The authentic you.
394
00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:34,560
All right.
395
00:15:34,561 --> 00:15:36,164
No, really!
396
00:15:40,627 --> 00:15:41,461
Hey.
Clark,
397
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,263
You’re going
To have to snap
Out of it, okay?
Shh, shh...
398
00:15:43,264 --> 00:15:45,032
This whole
Feelings thing’s
Pissing people off
399
00:15:45,033 --> 00:15:47,296
And the higher-ups
Are starting to notice.
400
00:15:47,297 --> 00:15:48,099
Yeah. I know.
401
00:15:49,594 --> 00:15:54,033
I know,
Monopoly man.He seems
Like he cares,
But he really
Just wants everyone
To like him.
402
00:15:55,297 --> 00:15:57,033
It’s so sad.
403
00:15:57,693 --> 00:15:58,999
All right.
404
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,165
Time to call in
The big guns.
405
00:16:01,825 --> 00:16:04,065
Mr. Claxton,
I have a big
Problem on my hands.
406
00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:05,296
You know what
Your problem is?
407
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,296
You’re a
Goddamn loser.
408
00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:07,395
That’s your
Fucking problem.
409
00:16:07,396 --> 00:16:09,263
Sorry. I didn’t
Mean to...
Sorry, sam.
410
00:16:09,264 --> 00:16:11,098
I had to take
That call.
411
00:16:11,099 --> 00:16:13,527
My god, old people
Are pathetic.
412
00:16:13,528 --> 00:16:14,395
Never have parents.
413
00:16:14,396 --> 00:16:16,032
Anyway, sir,
The thing is,
414
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:18,164
If clark doesn’t
Smarten up
415
00:16:18,165 --> 00:16:19,395
I’m going to
Have to fire him
416
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,329
And I can’t
Do that.
417
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:23,230
Why? Haven’t
Got the balls?
418
00:16:23,231 --> 00:16:25,626
Can we just
Keep my balls out
Of this, please?
419
00:16:25,627 --> 00:16:26,758
By the way,
420
00:16:26,759 --> 00:16:29,461
I heard fagen had his
Nut sack tightened.
421
00:16:29,462 --> 00:16:30,395
Any idea who he used?
422
00:16:30,396 --> 00:16:31,857
How the hell
Should I know?
423
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,164
I’m about to fire
Your son here.
424
00:16:34,165 --> 00:16:35,824
Pfft. Easy-peasy.
425
00:16:35,825 --> 00:16:38,131
Tell you what,
Give me a number
Between 1 and 500.
426
00:16:38,132 --> 00:16:41,362
Uh... 357.
427
00:16:41,363 --> 00:16:42,494
Yeah. It’s claxton.
428
00:16:42,495 --> 00:16:45,264
Uh, give me
Extension... 357.
429
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,230
Yeah, who’s this?
430
00:16:47,231 --> 00:16:49,627
Montgomery?
You’re fired.
431
00:16:50,957 --> 00:16:52,098
Not that I’m
Not impressed,
432
00:16:52,099 --> 00:16:53,759
But we are talking
About your son here.
433
00:16:56,066 --> 00:16:58,527
Yeah, so what?
He’ll come and
Work for me.You wouldn’t
Want him.
He’s walking around
All touchy-feely.
434
00:16:58,528 --> 00:17:00,999
It’s not good.
Oh, no!
435
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,396
Good god, he’s
Not all weepy
436
00:17:03,825 --> 00:17:08,131
And talking about
His feeling, is he?Don’t you
Mean "Feelings"?
No, no, no.
Not if you’re talking
About a claxton. You get
One and it’s usually rage.
437
00:17:08,132 --> 00:17:09,494
Unfortunately, he
Got the pussy gene
438
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:11,461
From his uncle galen
On his mother’s side.
439
00:17:11,462 --> 00:17:13,461
So what do you
Think we should do?
440
00:17:13,462 --> 00:17:14,857
Well, this did
Happen once before,
441
00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:17,395
After I ran over
His grandmother
With a golf cart.
442
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:19,494
We just have to hit
His reset button.
443
00:17:19,495 --> 00:17:21,659
Come on. Let’s go
Find the sissy.
444
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:25,758
We really appreciate
You doing this, robin.
445
00:17:25,759 --> 00:17:27,428
Especially on
Such short notice.
446
00:17:27,429 --> 00:17:29,329
We’re just
Really excited.
447
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:30,428
And I’m just
As excited.
448
00:17:30,429 --> 00:17:32,395
Okay. Well, when we
Last left mr. Squirrel
449
00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:35,725
He was about to
Cross rainbow river
To the sharing tree.
450
00:17:35,726 --> 00:17:36,626
What happens next?
451
00:17:36,627 --> 00:17:41,164
Well, before
Mr. Squirrel would let
Anyone cross the river
452
00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:43,461
He made sure they
All signed waivers.
453
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:48,528
But the language of
The waivers was rife
With ambiguity.
454
00:17:50,066 --> 00:17:51,395
Oh, good christ,
What a mess.
455
00:17:51,396 --> 00:17:53,626
...And it’s not going
To get better.
Hey, son.
456
00:17:53,627 --> 00:17:55,890
How the hell
Are you?
457
00:17:55,891 --> 00:17:56,626
Dad.
458
00:17:56,627 --> 00:17:58,923
What are you
Doing here?
459
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:01,758
Well, I heard you
Were about to cry
Yourself out of a job.
460
00:18:01,759 --> 00:18:02,725
What’s your problem?
461
00:18:02,726 --> 00:18:05,461
You killed
Monopoly man.
462
00:18:05,462 --> 00:18:06,263
That’s my problem.
463
00:18:06,264 --> 00:18:08,890
And then you got
To go and fuck
Your aunt kat.
464
00:18:08,891 --> 00:18:10,857
I was 13!
465
00:18:10,858 --> 00:18:12,627
You’re welcome!
466
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:17,527
Dad...
Monopoly man meant
A lot to me, okay?
467
00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:19,362
He was
My best friend.
468
00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:22,362
And I explained
That I thought
He was a rat
469
00:18:22,363 --> 00:18:24,263
And I wet-vac’d him.
470
00:18:24,264 --> 00:18:26,032
Again, what’s
The problem?
471
00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:29,791
It traumatized
The hell out of me!
472
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,527
For god’s sakes.
473
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:34,131
Well, I’m going to
Fix that right now,
Clarkie. Come here.
474
00:18:34,132 --> 00:18:34,999
Give your old man
A big hug.
No!
475
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,329
Come on! Give me
A big hug. Come on.
What? No!
476
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:39,362
Oh... Oh god!
Come on.
477
00:18:39,363 --> 00:18:40,330
Fight the love.
I...
478
00:18:41,561 --> 00:18:43,560
Fight the love,
Clarkie!Fight it!
Fight it as hard
As you can.
479
00:18:43,561 --> 00:18:44,957
Monopoly man!
480
00:18:46,858 --> 00:18:48,231
Oh god!
481
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,759
You killed
Monopoly man!
482
00:18:52,363 --> 00:18:53,560
Looks like it.
483
00:18:53,561 --> 00:18:56,264
Again!
484
00:18:58,132 --> 00:19:01,032
Hey, I just saw
Your aunt sheila
At the funeral.
485
00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:02,494
She got new boobies.
486
00:19:02,495 --> 00:19:04,824
Drive you over there?
Have a looky lou?
487
00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:05,758
Ahhh!
488
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:07,527
Clarkie!
489
00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:09,692
And so, rick
The rabbit knew
490
00:19:09,693 --> 00:19:11,626
That though
He’d never walk again,
491
00:19:11,627 --> 00:19:13,395
The settlement
Would be ample.
492
00:19:13,396 --> 00:19:15,494
And when the
Squirrel lawyer...
Great.
493
00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:17,164
Great. That...
That’s great.
494
00:19:17,165 --> 00:19:18,890
No. No.
There’s more.
No, no. No. No.
495
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,164
You’ve given us, uh,
Plenty to think about there.
496
00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:22,659
There’s lots...
Lots of stuff there.
497
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:23,692
Oh, so what
Do you think?
498
00:19:23,693 --> 00:19:25,494
There’s lots
Of stuff there.
499
00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:27,494
I mean, uh, really.
500
00:19:27,495 --> 00:19:28,462
Really?
501
00:19:29,528 --> 00:19:32,098
It sucked!Huh?
I mean, tell her, owen.
Put her out of her
Fucking misery.
502
00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:35,099
Listen, man,
I’m just trying to
Get us out of here.
503
00:19:35,528 --> 00:19:37,999
So... So it
Needs some work?
504
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,428
No, it sucks.
505
00:19:38,429 --> 00:19:41,626
Who quotes constitutional
Amendments in a kid’s book?
506
00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:42,999
Yeah, you put
Her to sleep.
507
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,560
And she takes
Her kid’s ritalin.
508
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:48,329
It-it could be
A bedtime story.
509
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,956
It could be
A bedtime story.
510
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:52,923
What the hell?
Wake up!
511
00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:56,693
I thought you
Didn’t knock, kid.
512
00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:58,197
Oh, yeah. I...
513
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,758
Why does it always
Go this way?
514
00:19:59,759 --> 00:20:01,824
Couldn’t it
Go that way?
515
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:04,362
Anyway...
You couldn’t fire
Claxton, could you?
516
00:20:04,363 --> 00:20:06,890
Uh... Well, see,
That’s the thing, sir.
517
00:20:06,891 --> 00:20:09,527
He’s not, uh, bugging
People anymore, so...
518
00:20:09,528 --> 00:20:10,890
You’re a wuss, kid.
519
00:20:10,891 --> 00:20:12,098
I’m not a wuss, sir.
520
00:20:12,099 --> 00:20:13,626
Yeah, you are.
521
00:20:13,627 --> 00:20:15,593
But it’s okay.
522
00:20:15,594 --> 00:20:18,956
Stan, balls come
With a price.
523
00:20:18,957 --> 00:20:21,329
You don’t want to be
An asshole like me.
524
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:24,956
It’s nothing but
Pain and loneliness.
525
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,791
Aw... Really?
526
00:20:28,825 --> 00:20:30,462
Hold this.
527
00:20:31,594 --> 00:20:32,197
Hah!
528
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:33,362
Got to go.
Jet’s waiting.
529
00:20:33,363 --> 00:20:37,692
I’m flying to
France for some
Pain au chocolat.
530
00:20:37,693 --> 00:20:39,791
They give me gas
Something fierce,
531
00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:42,626
But my mistress
Loves them.
532
00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:44,429
Arrivederci.
533
00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:47,593
Bye.
534
00:20:49,396 --> 00:20:51,065
You know, this
Cryogenic freezing
535
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:53,659
Was a very creative
Idea, robin.
536
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:54,824
Don’t worry,
Clark.
537
00:20:54,825 --> 00:20:56,824
You know, one day
We’ll have the technology
538
00:20:56,825 --> 00:20:58,032
To reanimate
Monopoly man
539
00:20:58,033 --> 00:20:59,725
And you two will be
Together again.
540
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,098
Like I could
Give a shit.
541
00:21:01,099 --> 00:21:03,890
I’m just playing along to
See if zoltan will eat him.
542
00:21:03,891 --> 00:21:04,758
Hmm.
Hmm.
543
00:21:04,759 --> 00:21:08,164
Would anyone like
To say final words?
544
00:21:08,165 --> 00:21:09,791
Yeah, I would.
545
00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:12,659
Shut the fuck up.
546
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:13,891
Ooh.
547
00:21:14,594 --> 00:21:16,527
Aw.
Aw...
Clark’s back.
548
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:18,362
Oh.
Egh.
549
00:21:21,594 --> 00:21:22,659
Clark sr.:
My god.
550
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:24,659
Dr. Leiberman
Is a genius.
551
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:25,890
Good work, huh?
552
00:21:25,891 --> 00:21:27,791
Oh, he’s
An artist.
Uh-huh.
553
00:21:27,792 --> 00:21:28,999
Artist.
Yeah.
554
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:29,923
Tight as plums.
555
00:21:29,924 --> 00:21:31,560
I can swim
Like a dolphin.
556
00:21:31,561 --> 00:21:33,890
Yeah.
No drag, huh?
557
00:21:33,891 --> 00:21:34,999
Mind if
I feel them?
558
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,198
Go right ahead.
559
00:21:38,759 --> 00:21:41,065
Well, the symmetry
Is perfect.
560
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:42,428
Perfect.
561
00:21:42,429 --> 00:21:44,428
If you don’t mind
My asking, how much?
562
00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:46,494
Hey, don’t be tacky.
563
00:21:46,495 --> 00:21:49,099
One, two, three, four!
564
00:21:50,066 --> 00:21:55,527
Closed captioned by
Stancon video
565
00:22:00,594 --> 00:22:06,924
♪ way-oh way-oh-oh
566
00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:08,560
Huh!
567
00:22:13,825 --> 00:22:16,857
♪ way-oh way-oh-oh
568
00:22:16,858 --> 00:22:18,857
♪ way-oh-way
40543
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