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1
00:00:02,561 --> 00:00:04,263
Ah, yes.
2
00:00:04,264 --> 00:00:05,659
Rembrandt
Would be proud.
3
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:06,956
Men and their penises.
4
00:00:06,957 --> 00:00:08,461
You never see women
Drawing vaginas.
5
00:00:08,462 --> 00:00:10,329
Yeah, because
They’re hard to draw.
6
00:00:11,099 --> 00:00:12,296
Even harder to
Colour. You know?
7
00:00:12,297 --> 00:00:15,428
Mmm.
Here, let me
Finish this for you.
8
00:00:15,429 --> 00:00:17,923
Fah...
9
00:00:17,924 --> 00:00:19,494
Fag.
10
00:00:19,495 --> 00:00:20,659
Oh, fage...
11
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,329
Fagen.
Yeah.
12
00:00:22,330 --> 00:00:23,065
Why write fagen?
13
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:26,197
Oh, you know,
Because he just got
Off the elevator.
14
00:00:26,198 --> 00:00:28,231
Better wipe
That off, buddy.
15
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:29,857
Oh, my god.
16
00:00:29,858 --> 00:00:30,857
It’s not coming off.
17
00:00:30,858 --> 00:00:32,032
Yes, because it’s
A permanent marker.
18
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,725
You got about
Ten seconds.
He’s in the foyer.
19
00:00:34,726 --> 00:00:35,626
Oh.
20
00:00:35,627 --> 00:00:38,297
No, he’s at
The reception desk.
21
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:40,825
And...
22
00:00:43,396 --> 00:00:46,066
That supposed
To be me, stan?
23
00:00:46,858 --> 00:00:49,330
Ah-ha. Yeah. Huh.
24
00:00:50,495 --> 00:00:52,329
I am a bit
Of a dandy.
25
00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:59,131
One, two, three, four!
26
00:01:04,693 --> 00:01:06,164
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
27
00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:07,725
♪ he’s got the world
In his hand ♪
28
00:01:07,726 --> 00:01:09,263
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
29
00:01:09,264 --> 00:01:11,428
♪ the work is never done
30
00:01:11,429 --> 00:01:14,329
♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh
31
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:16,824
♪ way-oh, way-oh-ho
32
00:01:16,825 --> 00:01:18,395
Huh!
33
00:01:18,396 --> 00:01:19,362
♪ I am the working man
34
00:01:19,363 --> 00:01:21,329
♪ through the night
Till the morning sun ♪
35
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:22,659
♪ I am the working man
36
00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:24,263
♪ the work is never done
37
00:01:24,264 --> 00:01:27,395
♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
38
00:01:27,396 --> 00:01:28,956
Hey! Hey!
♪ way-oh-way
39
00:01:30,099 --> 00:01:31,362
♪ pray for
The working man ♪
40
00:01:31,363 --> 00:01:33,065
♪ always there
With a helping hand ♪
41
00:01:33,066 --> 00:01:34,560
♪ pray for
The working man ♪
42
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,032
♪ the work is never done
43
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,329
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
44
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,692
♪ another day
Has just begun ♪
45
00:01:38,693 --> 00:01:40,362
♪ all hail
The working man ♪
46
00:01:40,363 --> 00:01:42,660
♪ it’s never friggin’ done
47
00:01:47,957 --> 00:01:49,131
So the guy’s standing
There, now, right,
48
00:01:49,132 --> 00:01:51,032
And he’s looking confused,
And rightly so.
49
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:54,197
And then I say,
Wait for it...
50
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:55,923
Oh, god, let me
Get it right.
51
00:01:55,924 --> 00:01:56,725
Uh... Oh!
52
00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:58,164
And then I go, "What?
53
00:01:58,165 --> 00:01:59,494
I thought
He was a midget!"
54
00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:02,725
I thought he was a midget.
55
00:02:02,726 --> 00:02:04,164
Like a...
Like a little person.
56
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,428
Boy, that was
A doozy, sam,
57
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,428
But I think
The lawyers from
Elliott pound
58
00:02:07,429 --> 00:02:09,230
Need to get back
To work now.
59
00:02:09,231 --> 00:02:11,098
But...
60
00:02:11,099 --> 00:02:14,890
The, uh, small boardroom’s
Down the hall on the left?
61
00:02:14,891 --> 00:02:16,231
Yeah.
62
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:22,462
Okay. I didn’t
Understand that.That story
Always kills.
Yeah, that’s because
Listening to it
Is fucking murder.
63
00:02:23,231 --> 00:02:24,263
Whatever.
64
00:02:24,264 --> 00:02:25,692
Robin, I’m going
To go downstairs
65
00:02:25,693 --> 00:02:27,428
And get a coffee.
Are you game?
66
00:02:27,429 --> 00:02:28,164
No.
Really?
67
00:02:28,165 --> 00:02:29,362
They have this
New acorn latte
68
00:02:29,363 --> 00:02:30,527
That you’d think
Would be awful,
69
00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:32,197
But it’s passably
Mediocre.
70
00:02:32,198 --> 00:02:33,857
Yeah. No. Can’t.
Got a thing.
71
00:02:33,858 --> 00:02:35,692
What kind of thing?
72
00:02:35,693 --> 00:02:37,098
Just a thing-thing.
73
00:02:37,099 --> 00:02:38,131
Oh, just a thing-thing
Thing?
74
00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:40,230
Just a none-of-your-
Fucking-business thing.
75
00:02:40,231 --> 00:02:41,824
Oh. Is it lady stuff?
76
00:02:41,825 --> 00:02:43,429
Uh... Sure.
77
00:02:44,462 --> 00:02:46,329
Can I come?Excuse me.
Hey, vic. Something’s
Up with robin.
78
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:47,527
Follow her.
Follow her?
79
00:02:47,528 --> 00:02:49,263
Yeah.
Okay.
80
00:02:49,264 --> 00:02:50,626
Hey, robin! Wait up.
81
00:02:52,891 --> 00:02:54,692
I thought he was a midget.
82
00:02:54,693 --> 00:02:58,032
So the guy’s standing
There, looking like
Leftovers,
83
00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,296
And he’s a little
Confused, right?
84
00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:01,692
So I turn to him
And I say, "What?
85
00:03:01,693 --> 00:03:03,725
I thought he
Was a midget."
86
00:03:05,594 --> 00:03:09,528
Son of a bitch,
That’s my story.
87
00:03:11,627 --> 00:03:13,494
All right. Back to
Work. Back to work.
88
00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:15,164
Hey, hold up, man.
89
00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:16,858
Yeah?
90
00:03:17,165 --> 00:03:19,362
You know, I
Liked your shit
This morning,
91
00:03:19,363 --> 00:03:20,494
Back there
In the lounge?
92
00:03:20,495 --> 00:03:21,758
With... With
The midget?
93
00:03:21,759 --> 00:03:23,362
That was some
Funny stuff, man.
94
00:03:23,363 --> 00:03:25,692
Really? I
Thought it bombed.
95
00:03:25,693 --> 00:03:26,428
Bombed?
96
00:03:26,429 --> 00:03:28,098
Huh, you mean
It was the bomb.
97
00:03:28,099 --> 00:03:29,230
Huh. Okay.
98
00:03:29,231 --> 00:03:31,428
Can you believe
I just saw
Clark in there,
99
00:03:31,429 --> 00:03:33,725
Telling my story
As if it was his?
100
00:03:33,726 --> 00:03:34,395
Mm-hmm.
101
00:03:34,396 --> 00:03:36,494
Once again, the man
Steals from us
102
00:03:36,495 --> 00:03:37,923
And claims his
Ill-gotten gains
103
00:03:37,924 --> 00:03:39,956
As his own,
Like "Monopoly".
104
00:03:39,957 --> 00:03:40,923
"Monopoly"?
105
00:03:40,924 --> 00:03:42,461
"Monopoly" was
Invented by
A black man
106
00:03:42,462 --> 00:03:44,659
And the parker brothers
Covered that shit up.
107
00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:45,857
That’s not true.
108
00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:46,999
And don’t even
Get me started
109
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,230
On milton
Fucking bradley.
110
00:03:48,231 --> 00:03:50,395
You know,
Your so-called
Friend clark
111
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,626
Thinks it’s okay
To swipe your story
112
00:03:51,627 --> 00:03:54,165
Because you’re
Not white, chico.
113
00:03:54,957 --> 00:03:55,999
I’m not?
114
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,890
Mexicans ain’t white.
115
00:03:57,891 --> 00:03:58,593
Oh...
116
00:03:58,594 --> 00:03:59,890
Listen, you
Stick with me
117
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:04,495
And I’ll open your
Eyes to all sorts
Of nefarious shit.
118
00:04:14,627 --> 00:04:16,791
She actually got off
On the 24th floor
119
00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,362
And tried
To shake me.
120
00:04:18,363 --> 00:04:19,692
Then she took
The stairs down.
121
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,329
She’s a crafty
Little monkey.
122
00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:22,923
Yeah, and then
She blew her nose
123
00:04:22,924 --> 00:04:23,890
And got a drink.
124
00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:25,791
Then she turned
Herself into
A puddle of water.
125
00:04:25,792 --> 00:04:30,065
Then, that’s when
Things started to
Get interesting.
126
00:04:30,066 --> 00:04:30,824
Vic...
127
00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:33,791
Sorry. But I do have
Something to show you.
128
00:04:33,792 --> 00:04:36,198
Right down the hall.
129
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:39,164
Hello.
130
00:04:39,165 --> 00:04:41,890
My name is robin
And I’m an alcoholic.
131
00:04:41,891 --> 00:04:43,065
Welcome, robin.
132
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:46,428
I first started
Drinking when
I was six.
133
00:04:46,429 --> 00:04:48,296
Just the little
Liquor bottles
134
00:04:48,297 --> 00:04:51,098
The tourists would throw
From passing trains.
135
00:04:51,099 --> 00:04:53,230
Most of the bottles
Would be half empty,
136
00:04:53,231 --> 00:04:56,692
But some of them
Would be half full,
137
00:04:56,693 --> 00:04:58,131
If you know what I mean.
138
00:04:58,132 --> 00:04:59,164
Oh, yeah.
139
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,197
Yeah.
140
00:05:00,198 --> 00:05:03,098
I don’t know much
About lying, sam,
141
00:05:03,099 --> 00:05:04,725
But what little
I do know,
142
00:05:04,726 --> 00:05:06,164
I’d say she is.
143
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,725
Hmm.
144
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,099
Hey, maxine.
145
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:13,956
I heard your story.
146
00:05:13,957 --> 00:05:15,494
I nearly peed myself.
147
00:05:15,495 --> 00:05:16,626
Oh, yeah? How close?
148
00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:19,131
Uh-heh, none of
Your damned business.
149
00:05:19,132 --> 00:05:20,659
Well, you better
Get your bladder
Good and empty,
150
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:22,098
Because I’m going to
Be telling it again.
151
00:05:22,099 --> 00:05:25,000
I’ll make sure I find
A seat near the can.
152
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,593
Now I’m a little
Grossed out.
153
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,692
Really?
No.
154
00:05:28,693 --> 00:05:29,890
I didn’t think so.
Yeah.
155
00:05:29,891 --> 00:05:30,956
Get out of here.
156
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:34,065
Oh, hi, robin.
157
00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:36,659
Oh, hey. You
Want to get that
Acorn latte now?
158
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:37,296
Oh, I can’t.
159
00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:38,758
I’m hanging out with
My new friend, steve.
160
00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:40,758
He’s one of
The lawyers
From elliott’s.
161
00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:41,890
The black one?
162
00:05:41,891 --> 00:05:43,692
Is he? Oh,
I didn’t notice.
163
00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:45,626
Huh.
Anyway, I was
Down on 23rd.
164
00:05:45,627 --> 00:05:47,923
I passed a room where
I was noticing you
165
00:05:47,924 --> 00:05:49,659
Confessing
A little alcoholism.
166
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:50,428
Oh, shit.
167
00:05:50,429 --> 00:05:51,395
Fucking drunks always
Leave the door open.
168
00:05:51,396 --> 00:05:54,263
Robin, you
Didn’t tell me you
Were going to aa.
169
00:05:54,264 --> 00:05:57,164
I’m doing it for
The networking
Opportunities, okay?
170
00:05:57,165 --> 00:05:58,824
Scamming
Alcoholics.
171
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,164
You’re like
A casino.
172
00:06:00,165 --> 00:06:02,362
Okay. You keep
Your little snout
Out of my trough.
173
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,428
This is my scam.
174
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:05,065
So far, I’ve got
A new accountant,
175
00:06:05,066 --> 00:06:05,956
A personal trainer,
176
00:06:05,957 --> 00:06:06,758
And I am
Working kaplan
177
00:06:06,759 --> 00:06:08,824
Like a whore at
A dental convention.
178
00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:09,758
Wow.
Yeah.
179
00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:12,428
You’re pretty smart
For a useless drunk.
180
00:06:12,429 --> 00:06:13,032
Oh.
181
00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:14,296
Well, that’s
The kind of support
182
00:06:14,297 --> 00:06:16,527
I need to stay
On the wagon.
Yeah.
183
00:06:16,528 --> 00:06:18,593
So then I tell
Him, "What?
184
00:06:18,594 --> 00:06:20,032
I thought it
Was a midget."
185
00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:28,560
Stop laughing, right now.That’s not
Clark’s story.
That’s my story,
From my life,
And he stole it.
186
00:06:28,561 --> 00:06:30,726
Why do you
Hate laughter?
187
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:32,461
Sam, sam, sam.
188
00:06:32,462 --> 00:06:33,461
What’s it like
Being so petty?
189
00:06:33,462 --> 00:06:35,461
It’s fine. Stop
Telling my story.
190
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:37,593
Why? So you can put
More people to sleep
191
00:06:37,594 --> 00:06:38,461
With your version of it?
192
00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:40,758
It’s my story,
Clark. My story.
193
00:06:40,759 --> 00:06:42,032
Hmm. Well, I
Tell it better,
194
00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:43,593
And people laugh
When I tell it.
195
00:06:43,594 --> 00:06:45,329
Am I right?
196
00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:46,692
Cha-ching.
197
00:06:46,693 --> 00:06:49,561
You’re just like
Those parker brothers.
198
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,890
What the fuck is
He talking about?
199
00:06:51,891 --> 00:06:52,956
I don’t know.
Huh?
200
00:06:52,957 --> 00:06:55,098
I’ve had it up
To here with him.
201
00:06:56,627 --> 00:06:59,098
Howland, I need
To talk to you.
202
00:06:59,099 --> 00:06:59,791
Yes, sir.
203
00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:00,527
I won’t beat
Around the bush.
204
00:07:00,528 --> 00:07:03,890
Something tragic
Happened this
Past weekend.
205
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,395
My aa sponsor died.
206
00:07:05,396 --> 00:07:06,197
Liver failure?
207
00:07:06,198 --> 00:07:08,395
Hot air balloon
Accident.
208
00:07:08,396 --> 00:07:09,428
My second guess.
209
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,659
Robin, I’ve always
Thought of you
210
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,032
As someone that
I could count on.
211
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,890
Someone who
Was reliable.
212
00:07:14,891 --> 00:07:18,462
So, I want you to
Be my new sponsor.
213
00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:20,824
I’m not sure, sir.
214
00:07:20,825 --> 00:07:24,032
You know,
Combining work with
Co-dependencies...
215
00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:25,263
I know it’s
A lot to ask.
216
00:07:25,264 --> 00:07:27,032
It is a lot to ask
217
00:07:27,033 --> 00:07:31,594
And it’s a huge
Responsibility.
218
00:07:34,165 --> 00:07:35,626
Okay. Caution to the wind.
219
00:07:35,627 --> 00:07:37,824
I’ll do it.
Oh, thank you, robin!
220
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,131
You’re a life-saver.
221
00:07:39,132 --> 00:07:41,494
Oh, this is
Going to be great.
222
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,065
Uh, you bet.
You bet.
Oh.
223
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:45,626
Oh...
All right.
224
00:07:45,627 --> 00:07:47,099
Oh!
225
00:07:53,627 --> 00:07:55,560
Man, I love steve.
226
00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:56,857
You’ve only
Known him a day.
227
00:07:56,858 --> 00:07:59,296
You love him
Because he’s black.
228
00:07:59,297 --> 00:08:00,131
No!
229
00:08:00,132 --> 00:08:02,791
I love him because
He’s a crusader for
Visible minorities.
230
00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:05,857
He’s helping
Guys like me get
Wise to the man.
231
00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:08,396
Uh, did you just
Identify yourself
232
00:08:09,792 --> 00:08:11,956
As a visible
Minority?Steve thinks I am.
He thinks italians
Are a visible minority?
233
00:08:11,957 --> 00:08:14,065
Steve thinks
I’m a mexican.
234
00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:15,131
You’re not mexican!
235
00:08:15,132 --> 00:08:16,230
You’re not
An alcoholic.
236
00:08:16,231 --> 00:08:17,692
Oh, guess what?
Hmm?
237
00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:18,857
Kaplan made me
His sponsor.
238
00:08:18,858 --> 00:08:20,999
And then he gave me
The hepsler file.
239
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,758
And then he bought
A new lexus.
240
00:08:22,759 --> 00:08:24,626
Don’t know if
That’s part of this.
241
00:08:24,627 --> 00:08:26,999
You’re kaplan’s
Sponsor?
242
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:27,263
Yeah.
243
00:08:27,264 --> 00:08:28,923
You know this
Isn’t going to
End well, right?
244
00:08:28,924 --> 00:08:31,758
Yes, and I imagine
Your mexicano
Blaxploitation
245
00:08:31,759 --> 00:08:32,824
Is going to go
Gangbusters.
246
00:08:32,825 --> 00:08:36,264
I got to go google
How to be a lush.
247
00:08:37,891 --> 00:08:40,263
Clarkie!
Yeah?You know that story
You’ve been telling
Around the office,
The midget one?
248
00:08:40,264 --> 00:08:41,428
Know it?
I lived it.
249
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,494
I’d like you to
Dazzle some clients
With it today.
250
00:08:43,495 --> 00:08:46,164
Sure. Get ready
For the ride of
Your life, sir.
251
00:08:46,165 --> 00:08:47,999
Wonderful.
So, tell me this.
252
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,428
Is it a midget
Or a dwarf,
253
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,263
And where do
Jockeys fit
Into all this?
254
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,428
I’m not sure, sir.
255
00:08:52,429 --> 00:08:54,461
Oh. Bring
That midget
Around sometime.
256
00:08:54,462 --> 00:08:55,725
I want to see if
I can still lift one.
257
00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:58,758
Robin, I was walking
Through the food court
258
00:08:58,759 --> 00:09:00,857
And I saw this woman
Drop her sandwich
259
00:09:00,858 --> 00:09:02,065
And I knew right away
It was a reuben.
260
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:04,032
Right, right. Yeah.
People are such slobs.
261
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:05,791
My mother always
Ate reubens.
262
00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:07,692
I-I know
That I wasn’t
A very good son,
263
00:09:07,693 --> 00:09:09,758
But I loved her,
And it just makes me
264
00:09:09,759 --> 00:09:11,098
Want to taste that
Peach schnapps
265
00:09:11,099 --> 00:09:14,131
Washing down
My gullet
One more time.
266
00:09:14,132 --> 00:09:16,395
Peach schnapps?
267
00:09:16,396 --> 00:09:16,956
Robin?
268
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,923
I need you to put
On your sponsor
Hat right now.
269
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:21,131
Okay. Okay. Okay.
270
00:09:21,132 --> 00:09:25,131
Um, I think that
You should...
271
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,494
Write your
Mother a letter.
272
00:09:26,495 --> 00:09:27,857
She died in ’94.
273
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:30,065
Right. Yeah. Um...
274
00:09:30,066 --> 00:09:30,923
Okay, well, it’s
Not like that.
275
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:32,164
A it’s like a,
You know, catharsis.
276
00:09:32,165 --> 00:09:34,131
Catharsis, yeah.
And revisit step two.
277
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:35,230
No. Step four.
278
00:09:35,231 --> 00:09:36,362
Ah, make it two.
279
00:09:36,363 --> 00:09:38,296
Two.
Do two, twice.
280
00:09:38,297 --> 00:09:40,560
Oh! I never
Thought of that.
281
00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:41,758
Thank you, robin.
282
00:09:41,759 --> 00:09:42,362
Ah!
283
00:09:42,363 --> 00:09:43,230
You’re not ready
For hugging.
284
00:09:43,231 --> 00:09:45,758
Right! Walk
Before you run.
Yes.
285
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,494
Baby steps.
Yes.
Baby steps.
286
00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:48,924
Okay, thanks!
287
00:09:52,495 --> 00:09:54,791
He just keeps telling it
Over and over again.
288
00:09:54,792 --> 00:09:56,758
And it’s my
Goddamn story.
289
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:59,395
I had a pair of
Red boots once
290
00:09:59,396 --> 00:10:01,230
That someone took.
291
00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:01,725
What?
292
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,428
I was seven.
I’d taken them off
293
00:10:03,429 --> 00:10:05,857
And placed them
Neatly by the door
As I was told.
294
00:10:05,858 --> 00:10:07,131
After my violin lesson,
295
00:10:07,132 --> 00:10:09,528
I returned to
Find them gone.
296
00:10:09,891 --> 00:10:11,824
I have no idea what
You’re talking about.
297
00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:12,758
Well, it’s
Simple, really.
298
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:14,230
I had to walk home
In my socks.
299
00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:16,494
And on the way,
I saw one
Charles von noviembre
300
00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:17,824
Walking in my boots.
301
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:21,065
He’d taken my boots,
Just like you took
Clark’s story.
302
00:10:21,066 --> 00:10:22,494
It’s my story,
Not clark’s.
303
00:10:22,495 --> 00:10:23,758
This is exactly
What I told charles.
304
00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:25,461
Yelled at him
Through the rain storm,
305
00:10:25,462 --> 00:10:27,494
I said, "Charlie,
Those are my boots,
306
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:30,131
And you know it!"
307
00:10:30,132 --> 00:10:32,131
But it was
All for naught.
How so?
308
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,858
As he was thumbing
His nose at me,
309
00:10:35,363 --> 00:10:38,824
He slipped and
Fell into traffic.That’s what you get
For stealing boots
Two sizes too big.
Well...
310
00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:40,164
The police took
The boots in
As evidence,
311
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:42,362
Haven’t seen
Them since.
312
00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:45,428
But still, I
Feel somehow...
313
00:10:45,429 --> 00:10:46,923
Vindicated.
314
00:10:46,924 --> 00:10:49,594
Wow. That’s, um...
315
00:10:51,462 --> 00:10:53,429
Thanks for the chat.
316
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,923
Any time, samuel.
317
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,824
Any time at all.
318
00:11:00,825 --> 00:11:03,758
So, I turn to him
And I say, "What?
319
00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:05,296
I thought he was
A midget."
320
00:11:08,825 --> 00:11:10,164
I know.
321
00:11:10,165 --> 00:11:11,296
Cha-ching.
322
00:11:11,297 --> 00:11:13,131
Thanks, folks.
You’ve been great.
323
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:13,824
That’s my time.
324
00:11:13,825 --> 00:11:16,329
Let’s have
A big hand for
Clark claxton.
325
00:11:21,594 --> 00:11:23,726
Thank you.
326
00:11:30,627 --> 00:11:31,494
Uh, hey, sam.
327
00:11:31,495 --> 00:11:33,956
Steve. What’s
Happenin’?
328
00:11:33,957 --> 00:11:34,890
Oh, you
Know, man.
329
00:11:34,891 --> 00:11:35,824
This deal we’re
Working on
330
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,098
Is just making
Us real tense.
331
00:11:37,099 --> 00:11:38,362
So me and
My colleagues
332
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:39,692
Were hoping
You’d swing by
333
00:11:39,693 --> 00:11:41,924
And tell us some
Stories and shit.
334
00:11:42,528 --> 00:11:43,692
Yeah. I’d love to.
335
00:11:43,693 --> 00:11:45,395
Okay, but
There’s something
Kind of touchy
336
00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:46,890
I gotta ask you
About first.
337
00:11:46,891 --> 00:11:47,659
Okay.
Uh...
338
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:49,329
One of the reasons
We all found your
Story so funny
339
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:53,923
Was because you got
The whole barrio
Vibe going, man.
340
00:11:53,924 --> 00:11:55,428
I do?
Yeah.
341
00:11:55,429 --> 00:11:57,593
You don’t mind
Playing it up
A little, do you?
342
00:11:57,594 --> 00:11:59,098
It’s just
My friends
Are so full on
343
00:11:59,099 --> 00:12:00,692
With that chicano
Shit, you know?
344
00:12:00,693 --> 00:12:02,659
I mean, I’ll
Understand if I’m
Crossing a line here.
345
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,395
Oh, no, no. You’re
Not crossing a line.
346
00:12:04,396 --> 00:12:05,098
I’ll put it on.
347
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,362
You sure you’re
Cool with this?
348
00:12:06,363 --> 00:12:07,164
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
349
00:12:07,165 --> 00:12:07,890
Check it out.
Check it out.
350
00:12:07,891 --> 00:12:11,000
I’m down with
That shit, pendejo.
351
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,725
Thanks, dawg.
352
00:12:20,726 --> 00:12:22,758
I used to pour
Vodka into my soup.
353
00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:26,494
I’d pour that devil
Juice into anything
And everything.
354
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:29,230
Ketchup bottles,
Watermelons,
355
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:30,725
Yoghurt,
Hardboiled eggs.
356
00:12:30,726 --> 00:12:34,297
If you could get
Booze into it,
I’d do it.
357
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:36,693
When did you hit
Rock bottom?
358
00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:39,758
You have hit rock
Bottom, haven’t you?
359
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,791
I started
Dreaming my mother
360
00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:43,362
Was breastfeeding
Me white russians,
361
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,692
And I wasn’t
Even a baby.
362
00:12:44,693 --> 00:12:48,131
Oh, god, I’ve
Never told anybody
That before.
363
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,758
At least not
While I was sober.
364
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:52,791
Oh, thank god
For you, robin.
365
00:12:52,792 --> 00:12:54,164
Thank god!
366
00:12:54,165 --> 00:12:56,462
Hold me!
367
00:12:57,528 --> 00:12:58,659
I’ve got soup.
368
00:12:58,660 --> 00:13:00,593
Ple-ease!
369
00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:07,758
What’s so great
In your life to
Warrant whistling?
370
00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:09,494
I stole sam’s
Stupid midget story,
371
00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:11,725
Added some of
The patented
Claxton magic,
372
00:13:11,726 --> 00:13:12,956
Now I’m a fucking
Rock star.
373
00:13:12,957 --> 00:13:14,131
Mmm.
Hey, what’s
With you?
374
00:13:14,132 --> 00:13:15,428
Ah, it’s a long,
Convoluted story.
375
00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:18,164
But suffice
To say, I’m now
Kaplan’s aa sponsor.
376
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,098
Ah, I like
The punchline.
377
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,098
Oh, the guy’s
Such a goddamn
Basket case.
378
00:13:21,099 --> 00:13:21,692
He called me
At midnight
379
00:13:21,693 --> 00:13:23,857
Because he saw
"Arthur ii:
On the rocks"
In a dvd bin,
380
00:13:23,858 --> 00:13:27,164
Said it took all
His strength to not
Fall off the wagon.
381
00:13:27,165 --> 00:13:28,131
God, he is
An alcoholic.
382
00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:30,725
Everyone knows
That that’s
An inferior sequel.
383
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,791
Ugh. All his
Emotional crapulence
384
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,494
Just makes me
Want to get loaded.
385
00:13:34,495 --> 00:13:36,593
Hey, why don’t you?
386
00:13:36,594 --> 00:13:37,692
You know, that’s
A great idea.
Yeah.
387
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:41,098
Yeah, I can’t be
His sponsor if he
Sees me drinking.
388
00:13:41,099 --> 00:13:42,626
Heh!
Get on it.
389
00:13:42,627 --> 00:13:43,758
Hey.
390
00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:45,999
Hey, uh, you want to
Hear a funny story?
391
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,791
It’s not the one
About the midget
Again, is it?
392
00:13:48,792 --> 00:13:50,066
Ah...
393
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:55,857
You are one
Cool hombre, man.
394
00:13:55,858 --> 00:13:58,494
He’s like a real-life
Speedy gonzales.
395
00:13:58,495 --> 00:14:01,527
Except I am
Not a mouse.
396
00:14:01,528 --> 00:14:04,296
And I can’t
Run very fast.
397
00:14:06,264 --> 00:14:08,758
Oh, but you
Are cute.
398
00:14:08,759 --> 00:14:09,824
Ahngn!
399
00:14:09,825 --> 00:14:11,263
Ay, yi, yi.
400
00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:13,099
Say something
Funny, sam.
401
00:14:14,231 --> 00:14:16,329
You gonna eat that?
402
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:25,197
Too much,
Too much!
403
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:36,461
You were
Looking for...
404
00:14:36,462 --> 00:14:37,659
Me?
405
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:39,890
So...
406
00:14:39,891 --> 00:14:41,725
I just wanted to ask
You a few questions
407
00:14:41,726 --> 00:14:43,131
About the hepsler file.
408
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,593
Hepsler file,
My ass.
409
00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:45,428
You’re drunk!
410
00:14:45,429 --> 00:14:47,098
No. Don’t
Look in there.
411
00:14:47,099 --> 00:14:49,230
White wine
Out of a box?
412
00:14:49,231 --> 00:14:51,197
Well, it’s better
For the environment.
413
00:14:51,198 --> 00:14:52,692
But it’s
So declasse.
414
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:53,626
I’m sorry.
415
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:56,099
I fell off the wagon
Into the booze ditch
416
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:01,693
And it hurt so good.I don’t
Believe this.
First, marco goes up
In a hot air balloon
And now this?
417
00:15:02,429 --> 00:15:03,428
Oh...
418
00:15:05,495 --> 00:15:06,759
Sorry.
419
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,923
Mmm.
So, I turn to him
And I say, "What?
420
00:15:15,924 --> 00:15:17,923
I thought he
Was a midget."
421
00:15:17,924 --> 00:15:20,066
Cha-ching!
422
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,495
Hey, clarkie.
423
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:36,362
What?
424
00:15:36,363 --> 00:15:38,791
You gonna eat that?
425
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,329
Please, sam,
Please, you have
To do it for us.
426
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:55,395
And by, "Do it",
Would you happen
To mea-an...
427
00:15:55,396 --> 00:15:57,824
You gonna eat that?
428
00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:01,923
You are back
On top, samuel.
429
00:16:01,924 --> 00:16:05,627
You gonna, you gonna,
You gonna eat that?
430
00:16:06,594 --> 00:16:08,264
You gonna eat that?
431
00:16:08,396 --> 00:16:11,000
I thought he was a midget.
432
00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,362
Claxton here. Go.
433
00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:19,627
You gonna eat that?
434
00:16:24,132 --> 00:16:25,593
Okay, what the fuck
Are you playing at?
435
00:16:25,594 --> 00:16:27,329
Que?
You’re stealing
My thunder.
436
00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:29,131
Oh, I no speaka english.
437
00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:30,494
Yeah, you’re on
Top now, tattoo,
438
00:16:30,495 --> 00:16:32,527
But you’re going to
Fall, and you’re
Going to fall hard,
439
00:16:32,528 --> 00:16:34,791
Just like me. And
Herve villechaize.
440
00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:37,725
Oh, god rest
His little soul.
441
00:16:37,726 --> 00:16:40,066
Come here, you
Son of a bitch!
442
00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:43,659
Oh.
443
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:46,494
Hey, guys.
What’s going on?
444
00:16:46,495 --> 00:16:47,131
Robin?
445
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,461
We, your friend...
446
00:16:49,462 --> 00:16:51,692
We, your friends
And acquaintances,
447
00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:52,725
Have come together
448
00:16:52,726 --> 00:16:56,594
To tell you how
Much your drinking
Is affecting us.
449
00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:57,999
Oh, wait.
450
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,296
This is an
Intervention,
Isn’t it?
451
00:17:00,297 --> 00:17:03,197
Okay, look, you
Really don’t have
To worry about me.
452
00:17:03,198 --> 00:17:06,659
Yeah, I... I’m
Down to only three
Jell-o shots a day.
453
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,891
Oof...
454
00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:10,725
We’re with
You, robin.
455
00:17:10,726 --> 00:17:11,527
Uh, yeah.
456
00:17:11,528 --> 00:17:12,692
Until we have
To leave.
457
00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:13,395
Have a seat, robin.
458
00:17:13,396 --> 00:17:14,692
Uh, I’m actually
In kind of a rush.
459
00:17:14,693 --> 00:17:15,890
I said, "Sit down."
460
00:17:15,891 --> 00:17:17,593
Okay.
461
00:17:17,594 --> 00:17:19,362
Uh, maxine.
462
00:17:19,363 --> 00:17:21,000
You can start.
463
00:17:22,429 --> 00:17:24,197
I hate your
Guts, sweetie.
464
00:17:24,198 --> 00:17:24,923
Hmm.
465
00:17:24,924 --> 00:17:26,758
That’s all I got.
Oh, no,
No. Come on.
466
00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:27,626
Dig deeper.
467
00:17:27,627 --> 00:17:29,297
Do I have to?
Yeah.
468
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:31,395
Well, maybe if you
Weren’t a drunk,
469
00:17:31,396 --> 00:17:33,065
I wouldn’t
Hate you.
470
00:17:33,066 --> 00:17:34,593
Or maybe I would.
Who can know?
471
00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:37,692
But, you are a drunk,
So let’s assume
That’s what it is.
472
00:17:38,495 --> 00:17:40,362
I’m hungry. Is
Anybody else hungry?
473
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,461
That’s so
Brave, maxine.
474
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,329
Yeah.
475
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,428
I’m hungry, too.
476
00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:45,197
Can I go next?
477
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,560
All right. I think
What we could all
Use right now
478
00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:49,725
Is a little...
A little levity.
479
00:17:49,726 --> 00:17:50,428
Huh?
480
00:17:50,429 --> 00:17:51,296
So, listen
To this.
481
00:17:51,297 --> 00:17:52,956
It was the hottest
Day of the year.
482
00:17:52,957 --> 00:17:54,560
Oh, bo-ring!
483
00:17:54,561 --> 00:17:56,725
Your midget story
Is fucking ass.
484
00:17:56,726 --> 00:17:58,626
It’s no
"You gonna eat that?"
485
00:17:58,627 --> 00:17:59,692
I heartily concur.
486
00:17:59,693 --> 00:18:00,725
All right, look.
487
00:18:00,726 --> 00:18:02,032
That dumb
One-liner’s garbage.
488
00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:03,362
It’s mindless pap
And it only works
489
00:18:03,363 --> 00:18:05,395
Because sam says it
With a stupid accent.
490
00:18:05,396 --> 00:18:07,824
Says you,
Bum-bum-head.
491
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:08,692
Enough!
492
00:18:08,693 --> 00:18:09,956
Claxton, sit down.
493
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:12,494
This intervention is
About robin’s alcoholism
494
00:18:12,495 --> 00:18:14,626
And not about
Your lack of funny.
495
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:15,395
What?
496
00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:16,999
Yeah. You
Should sit down.
497
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:17,890
You should.
498
00:18:17,891 --> 00:18:19,362
Thanks, sam.
499
00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:20,593
You’re welcome, sir.
500
00:18:20,594 --> 00:18:21,428
May I?
501
00:18:21,429 --> 00:18:23,329
Oh, please do.
502
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,296
Robin?
Mm-hmm?
503
00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:26,395
I wish you would
Stop drinking.
504
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,164
It’s hurting you.
505
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:30,164
It’s hurting
Your friends.
506
00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:31,626
And it’s hurting society.
507
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:33,197
Oh, society.
Right on, brother.
508
00:18:33,198 --> 00:18:33,999
Yeah.
509
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,923
And, uh, I wanted to
Ask you something.
510
00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:38,099
Oh, what was it?
511
00:18:38,561 --> 00:18:40,999
You gonna eat that?
512
00:18:43,264 --> 00:18:46,659
Oh, no cerveza
Por robin.
513
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:47,428
All right, eat this!
514
00:18:47,429 --> 00:18:49,560
Enough! This
Intervention is over.
515
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:50,725
Claxton, I never
Want to hear
516
00:18:50,726 --> 00:18:52,791
That stupid midget
Story ever again.
517
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:56,429
Howland. Campanelli.
Outside. Now.
518
00:18:58,033 --> 00:18:59,297
Wow...
519
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,363
You gonna eat that?
520
00:19:03,561 --> 00:19:05,230
I’m only going to say
This once, howland,
521
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,890
But if you don’t
Get back into aa,
522
00:19:06,891 --> 00:19:08,296
Your ass is outta here.
523
00:19:08,297 --> 00:19:09,164
Do you understand me?
524
00:19:09,165 --> 00:19:11,957
Yes, sir.
Now go wait
In my office.
525
00:19:12,264 --> 00:19:16,758
And campanelli,
What is it with all
This mexican shit?
526
00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:17,527
Oh. Well, sir,
527
00:19:17,528 --> 00:19:19,230
It wasn’t my idea,
It was steve’s.
528
00:19:19,231 --> 00:19:20,461
Who?
Steve.
529
00:19:20,462 --> 00:19:21,824
Lawyer from
Elliott pound?
530
00:19:21,825 --> 00:19:23,725
The black one?
531
00:19:23,726 --> 00:19:25,527
Oh, you mean
Steve james.
532
00:19:25,528 --> 00:19:27,164
He has a last
Name, you racist.
533
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:28,494
Actually, he has
Two first names.
534
00:19:28,495 --> 00:19:30,362
Okay.
535
00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:32,758
Why would
Steve want you
536
00:19:32,759 --> 00:19:33,923
To waltz around
The firm
537
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,825
Pretending to be
A mexican man?
538
00:19:37,066 --> 00:19:39,098
That’s ludicrous.Steve!
Hey, can you back me
Up on something here?
539
00:19:39,099 --> 00:19:40,791
Oh! Steve.
540
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:41,461
Sure.
541
00:19:41,462 --> 00:19:43,626
You know,
I-I-I hate to even
Entertain the notion,
542
00:19:43,627 --> 00:19:47,494
But sam here claims
That you asked him
543
00:19:47,495 --> 00:19:49,923
To pretend to
Be a mexican.
544
00:19:49,924 --> 00:19:51,329
Is... That true?
545
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:52,999
Pretend? He told me
He was mexican.
546
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,428
What? No!
No, I did not.
547
00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:56,494
Sir, why would I
Ever ask someone
548
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:59,065
To behave like
A caricature
Of another race?
549
00:19:59,066 --> 00:20:00,858
That’s ludicrous.
550
00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:05,329
That’s what I said.It’s ludicrous.
Exactly that.
551
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:10,462
Now, I have to
Go and deal with
A friend of bill,but I will finish
With you later.
And rest assured
That this will go in
Your permanent record.
552
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,164
That’s hard, dawg.
553
00:20:12,165 --> 00:20:12,999
I felt that.
554
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,363
So you guys never
Really thought
I was a mexican.
555
00:20:18,429 --> 00:20:19,395
Well, not that
I’m not impressed,
556
00:20:19,396 --> 00:20:21,758
But why single me
Out for ridicule?
557
00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:24,296
Is it because I told
That lame story?
558
00:20:24,297 --> 00:20:25,791
Why does anyone
Do anything?
559
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,659
Pfft. I heard that.
560
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:31,098
You know, the
Food court’s got
Perogies here?
561
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:33,198
Perogies?
Yeah.
562
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,527
Perogies?
563
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,659
You gonna eat that?
564
00:20:55,099 --> 00:20:56,065
Hello?
565
00:20:56,066 --> 00:20:57,494
It’s seth.
Who?
566
00:20:57,495 --> 00:20:58,428
Seth.
What?
567
00:20:58,429 --> 00:21:00,593
Seth!
Sam, is this you?
568
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:01,560
No, no, no, no.
569
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,626
It’s seth. Seth.
570
00:21:02,627 --> 00:21:03,857
Don’t you recognize
My voice?
571
00:21:03,858 --> 00:21:05,626
Listen, you
Pervert, if you call
This number again,
572
00:21:05,627 --> 00:21:06,857
I’m calling the police.
573
00:21:06,858 --> 00:21:08,560
Jesus s. Christ!
574
00:21:08,561 --> 00:21:09,791
It’s kaplan.
575
00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:11,329
Oh, mr. Kaplan...
576
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:12,791
Dammit, robin,
First names only.
577
00:21:12,792 --> 00:21:14,263
Right, sir.
Of course. Sorry.
578
00:21:14,264 --> 00:21:15,857
Okay. Question.
579
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:16,824
Yeah. Go ahead.
580
00:21:16,825 --> 00:21:18,594
Can we eat wine gums?
581
00:21:19,198 --> 00:21:21,065
There’s no alcohol
In wine gums, sir.
582
00:21:21,066 --> 00:21:21,626
No, no, no.
583
00:21:21,627 --> 00:21:23,956
I mean, can you
And I get together
584
00:21:23,957 --> 00:21:24,692
And eat wine gums?
585
00:21:24,693 --> 00:21:27,396
I just made a
Run to the...
586
00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:33,824
Oh, god, I miss booze!
587
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:41,857
Okay. I gotta go.
You’re good.
588
00:21:47,462 --> 00:21:53,264
Closed captioned by
Stancon video
589
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,362
Automated operator:
If you’d like to make a call,
590
00:22:09,363 --> 00:22:11,626
Please hang up and try again.
591
00:22:11,627 --> 00:22:13,659
If you need help, hang up
592
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:16,065
And then dial your operator.
593
00:22:26,132 --> 00:22:27,164
Operator.
594
00:22:27,165 --> 00:22:30,165
God, I miss booze...
40921
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