Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:16,550
Mm, mm.
2
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,520
I'm an amazing human being.
3
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,654
I can take my coat off
4
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,490
without putting my coffee down.
5
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:26,559
I have extraordinary
powers of bowel control.
6
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,395
Every morning after my
second cup of coffee,
7
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,596
I'm ready to go,
8
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:30,797
but I don't,
9
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,265
I wait.
10
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,434
In fact, I often restrain
function for several hours
11
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,768
before relieving myself.
12
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:36,969
Interesting.
13
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:37,804
Well, what can I say,
14
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,072
I'm a gifted man.
15
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,341
Well, as impressed as I am,
16
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:42,875
I don't think it's
in your best interest
17
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:43,776
to do that.
18
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:44,777
Why not?
19
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,179
Well, I dated this girl
20
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,148
who's into Chinese medicine,
21
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,916
she told me that a lot
of chronic illnesses
22
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,018
can be traced to bowel abuse.
23
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,920
- Huh?
- She was a dancer.
24
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,021
Bowel abuse?
25
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,022
Yeah, see the Chinese believe
26
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,358
that one must respect the bowel.
27
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,927
The minute one feels the
having to go sensation,
28
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,329
one must act
29
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,896
or risk doing permanent damage
30
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,099
to one's inner self.
31
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,767
Well, that's not good.
32
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,302
I love dancers,
33
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,172
I wonder if I still
have her number?
34
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,274
It's all fucking
Fagen's fault.
35
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,176
I mean, the guy's the
founding partner of the firm,
36
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,410
he has his own private bathroom,
37
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,478
and still, every morning
38
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:19,646
he goes to our bathroom
39
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,948
and he releases
something so ungodly,
40
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,015
the smell lingers there
41
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,284
for like an hour and a half.
42
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,118
Yeah, I know,
43
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,719
it's like tear gas,
44
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,720
but there's, you know,
45
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,855
there's the handicap bathroom
46
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:29,956
just 10 feet away,
47
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:30,924
just use that one.
48
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:34,894
What?
49
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,029
I, I can't, Clark,
50
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,731
I can't believe
you would suggest
51
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,133
using the handicap bathroom.
52
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,202
I mean, you don't
actually do that,
53
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,035
do you, Clark?
54
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,137
You do?
- Yeah.
55
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,104
I wouldn't even consider
56
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,273
using the handicap washroom,
57
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:49,075
it's like, it's
common decency, man.
58
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,777
Well, if you'll excuse me,
59
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,546
I'm off to use
the handi-crapper.
60
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,317
Handi-crapper,
61
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,385
that's good.
62
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,352
♪ One, two, three, four
63
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,125
♪ All hail the working man
64
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,594
♪ He's got the
world in his hands ♪
65
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,028
♪ All hail the working man
66
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,364
♪ Whose work is never done
67
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:14,033
♪ Way-oh, way-oh-oh
68
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:17,904
♪ Way-oh, way-oh
69
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:18,738
♪ Huh
70
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,606
♪ I am the working man
71
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:20,440
♪ Through the night
72
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:21,274
♪ Til the morning sun
73
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,375
♪ I am the working man
74
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,477
♪ Whose work is never done
75
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,078
♪ Way-oh, way-oh
76
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,314
♪ Hey, hey
77
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,982
♪ Way-oh, hey
78
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,451
♪ We are the working man
79
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,019
♪ Always there for every man
80
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,254
♪ We are the working man
81
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,022
♪ Whose work is never done
82
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,257
♪ All hail the working man
83
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,791
♪ Whose long day
has just begun ♪
84
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,126
♪ All hail the working man
85
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:43,764
♪ It's never frigging done
86
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,743
Ah.
87
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:57,945
Fagen still in there?
88
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,580
Can't you see the
tears in my eyes?
89
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,681
Yeah.
90
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,384
Hmm, so use this one.
91
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,652
I don't know,
92
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,553
I don't know.
- Listen, man,
93
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:07,954
it's not that big a deal,
94
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,789
there's no handicapped
people on this floor,
95
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,424
there's no handicapped
people in the firm.
96
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,025
Christ, hey, you're
lucky if you see
97
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,495
a minority or a woman,
98
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,296
use the bathroom.
99
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,630
Trust me, c'mon,
100
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,099
your colon will be thankful.
101
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:24,937
Yeah.
102
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:25,772
Can you stand watch
103
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:26,673
in case anybody comes?
104
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,174
Hey, who's your homeboy?
105
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:33,247
C'mon, give 'em hell.
106
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,690
Wow, spacious.
107
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,131
Sturdy.
108
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:57,505
Nice.
109
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,475
It's my bathroom!
110
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,944
Clark, what are you doing?
111
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,282
This is my bathroom!
112
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,150
It's my bathroom!
- Great,
113
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,752
now I can't go!
114
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,424
This is my bathroom!
115
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,192
Oh, fuck.
116
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:21,961
Will you shut up,
117
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,597
you fucking retard!
118
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,535
Oh, uh...
119
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,846
So, didn't
you love last night?
120
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,481
What
happened last night?
121
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,115
Firm event,
122
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,083
"Phantom of the Opera"?
123
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,217
You sat next to me.
124
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,052
Oh yeah,
125
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,420
uh, no, I didn't.
126
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,521
What, why?
127
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,422
"Phantom of the
Opera" is one the-
128
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,523
Stupid.
129
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,491
No, it's not,
130
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:52,291
it's one of the-
- Stupid,
131
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,593
musicals are stupid.
132
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,061
They're like these bad plays
133
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,496
where every so often,
134
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,830
for no apparent reason,
135
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,033
everyone breaks out
into a shitty song.
136
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,436
Well, I like the
epic-ness of the score.
137
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,972
- It was stupid!
- Oh, and that voice-
138
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,540
Oh, please.
139
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,275
♪ I am the phantom
140
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,310
♪ I have, uh, half a mask
141
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,645
♪ And a cape
142
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,447
♪ And, oh no, a chandelier
143
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,382
♪ Ah
- Oh, it wasn't like that.
144
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,984
♪ Oh, Christine
145
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,187
♪ How I love that bra
- Okay, stop that.
146
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,321
You!
147
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,491
You abandoned me
in my time of need.
148
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:25,858
♪ How was your crap, Sam
149
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,527
When you left me alone,
150
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,229
some disabled kid started
banging on the door.
151
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,731
I was sure it was
you screwing around
152
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:32,665
so I yelled at him
153
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,101
and I, I called him a, oh...
154
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,269
You were, you were
supposed to stand guard!
155
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,738
♪ I don't believe you
156
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:39,606
No, I'm serious.
157
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,507
He was like,
158
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,574
he was like, "My bathroom!
159
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,743
My bathroom!"
- That's him!
160
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,579
That's the bad man
from the bathroom.
161
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,882
- Oh, uh-
- Everyone,
162
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,485
let me introduce my
grand nephew, Bruce.
163
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,086
He's visiting the
firm this morning,
164
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,988
so his great uncle
Mortie can help him
165
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,090
with his bar mitzvah lessons.
166
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:01,227
Sam, did you verbally
accost this young man
167
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,361
when he asked you to vacate
168
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,230
the special needs bathroom?
169
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,365
Really, Sam?
170
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,834
No, Cam, listen,
171
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,201
I would never do
something like that.
172
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,703
That's just tasteless.
173
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,571
Will you shut up?
174
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:12,472
Oh, I'm sorry,
175
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,740
everyone who just accosted
176
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,341
a disabled kid in the bathroom,
177
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,976
please raise your hand.
178
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:17,911
Sam, that's you.
179
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,280
- Cam, I'm sorry.
- Sam, come with me,
180
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,950
we need to have a sit down.
181
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,753
Let's go, young man,
182
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,354
I'll race you to my office.
183
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,490
I'll give you a
head start, ha-ha!
184
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,323
Woo!
185
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,426
My money's on the kid.
186
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,596
Oh, dear God.
187
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,298
Well, Sam, here we are again,
188
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:42,268
you've really outdone
yourself this time.
189
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,336
What do you have to
say for yourself?
190
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,738
Look, Cam, I'm sorry,
191
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,940
I, I already explained
the misunderstanding.
192
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,009
Well, you don't seem sorry,
193
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,744
so tell me,
194
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,314
what are your feelings
about this incident?
195
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,048
Feelings?
196
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,650
Uh, I'm concerned.
197
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,318
What are you concerned about?
198
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,286
Well, about the fact
199
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,253
that before all this started,
200
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,822
I was about to relieve myself
201
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:03,956
and now with all the excitement,
202
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,092
it's kinda gone into remission.
203
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,727
That's it?
204
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,562
Don't you have
anything else to say?
205
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,530
I don't know how I end up
206
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,731
being the bad guy in all this,
207
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:12,965
I'm like the only
person in the firm
208
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,934
who doesn't use the
handicap bathroom
209
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,736
and the one time
Clark convinces me
210
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:17,804
that it's okay,
211
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,405
all hell breaks loose,
212
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,406
and another thing,
213
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,608
I never would've
said what I said
214
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,009
if I knew Bruce was out there.
215
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:23,943
My second cousin,
216
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,312
he's one of those kids with, uh,
217
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,480
what do you call it
218
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,649
when they all kinda
look the same?
219
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,117
Down syndrome?
220
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,719
Yeah, Down syndrome,
221
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,353
and man, we had a lot of fun
222
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,287
growing up together.
223
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,222
Him and his little buddies,
224
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,824
they were very affectionate.
225
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,426
Hell, I love retarded people.
226
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,935
Negro, no longer appropriate,
227
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,237
broad, when referring to women,
228
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,872
not appropriate,
229
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,909
midget, when referring
to little people,
230
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,010
inappropriate,
231
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,979
Oriental, when not referring
232
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,916
to works of art,
flavors or rugs,
233
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,354
no longer appropriate.
234
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,262
You know, the phantom
held it together pretty well
235
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,396
considering everything,
236
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,330
don't you think?
237
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,632
How do you mean?
238
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,567
Well, I mean, he's
all deformed and shit
239
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,001
from that fire or whatever,
240
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,104
he lives alone in the
basement of an opera house,
241
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,606
he's friendless.
242
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,607
You sing all your dialogue
243
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,875
for the next two weeks
244
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,644
and see if you don't end
up alone and friendless.
245
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,145
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
246
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:38,350
And so I guess I have
to be more understanding
247
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,086
when it comes to
people's allergies
248
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,020
in the workplace.
249
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,689
Very good, George.
250
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,090
As we all know,
251
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:47,159
the first step is admitting
you have a problem.
252
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,460
Once we've done that,
253
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,930
we're well on our way
to building a triple C.
254
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,164
Everybody?
255
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,501
Compassionate
corporate culture.
256
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,805
Andy, what brings
you to our class?
257
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,408
Well, I, I suppose
I have a problem
258
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,811
staring at people.
259
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,881
I, I'm told that I
look at people too much
260
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,718
and for too long.
261
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:17,891
That's good.
262
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,728
Andy, uh, you've
identified your problem
263
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,630
and that means you're
well on your way
264
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,799
to solving it,
265
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,436
and Sam, what brings
you to our class today?
266
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,806
Oh, uh, I don't
know why I'm here.
267
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,341
It, it, it was just
a misunderstanding,
268
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:36,876
you see, a colleague
suggested I use
269
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:37,710
the handicap bathroom on our-
270
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,478
Excuse me, Sam,
271
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,914
we don't use that word here.
272
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,785
The correct term is
differently-abled.
273
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,688
Seriously?
274
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,623
Yes, seriously.
275
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,591
Oh, well, when
did that happen?
276
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,860
When did we lose handicapped?
277
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:57,596
Sam, please don't
use the H word.
278
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,331
Okay, I'm sorry,
279
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,433
I don't wanna offend anybody,
280
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,702
it's just that handicapped,
281
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:03,836
I mean, what's so bad
about handicapped?
282
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:04,671
- Sam!
- I mean,
283
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:05,705
I know it as a stigma,
284
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,273
but I mean, think about it,
285
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,308
isn't it possible
that any word we use
286
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,609
to describe handicapped people
287
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,311
will eventually
acquire a stigma?
288
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,313
Sam, this is
your final warning.
289
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,148
And don't you think
this focus on language
290
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,718
has been blown so
completely out of proportion
291
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,919
to the point of absurdity?
292
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,553
I mean, you're
ruining perfectly good
293
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,922
English language words.
294
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,324
Can you stop staring at me?
295
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,127
Well, Sam, it's obvious
296
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,829
you don't have
any respect for me
297
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,131
or the principles of this class.
298
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:32,965
Wow.
299
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,566
Wow, you people, you're,
300
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,402
you're so sensitive.
301
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,870
You people?
302
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,071
I see.
303
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,206
Sam, are you
insinuating something
304
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,975
about my sexual orientation?
305
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,610
No!
306
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,546
No, not you people, gay people,
307
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,850
you people, PC nuts.
308
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,354
Perhaps I have room for you
309
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,390
in my more advanced group.
310
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,593
Okay, last warning, seriously.
311
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:05,331
♪ The above warranties
do not apply ♪
312
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:10,403
♪ To materials provided
by purchaser to vendor ♪
313
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,405
Woo.
- This is good,
314
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,573
this is never gonna get old.
315
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,142
See, you can't
not love "Phantom".
316
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,844
Eh, it's my turn.
317
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,511
Okay.
318
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:24,116
♪ Mm, therefore the
vendor hereby agrees ♪
319
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:27,120
♪ To the following
320
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,458
Wonderful, my boy, wonderful.
321
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,993
Oh, uh, thanks.
322
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,828
Those were the
vocal gymnastics
323
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,063
of a trained hazzan,
324
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,530
am I right?
- Well-
325
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,398
Don't be modest,
326
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,900
you have talent, my boy.
327
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,534
I haven't heard such a cantor
328
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,870
since I was a little pisha
329
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,671
living in the old neighborhood.
330
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,173
Well, how about that?
331
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,475
But actually-
- Don't be bashful,
332
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:52,578
one must celebrate one's
talents to the fullest.
333
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,913
I implore you,
334
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:57,084
help me turn young
Bruce here into a man.
335
00:11:58,485 --> 00:11:59,718
Excuse me?
336
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,487
He's got a bar
mitzvah coming up,
337
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,822
and I would be honored
338
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:05,324
if you would help
him with his lessons.
339
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,559
- But I'm not Jew-
- And for your time,
340
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,562
I insist you accept
this box of mun cookies
341
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,199
my wife baked this weekend.
342
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,333
Mun cookies?
343
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,835
Come, my boy,
344
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,071
you have been bestowed
a great honor today.
345
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,108
I think Bruce is a lech.
346
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,375
What are you talking about?
347
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,845
I'm pretty sure he
groped me this morning.
348
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,280
Robin, that's impossible,
349
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,383
he's just
a little crippled kid.
350
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,589
You are filled with rage!
351
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,163
Close your eyes,
352
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,065
all of you.
353
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,375
Now with your eyes closed,
354
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,978
I want you all to look inward.
355
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,412
Ask yourself,
356
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,382
"Why am I so angry?"
357
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:06,152
Concentrate on your breathing,
358
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,487
if you breathe like a
relaxed human being,
359
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,790
you will be a
relaxed human being.
360
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,569
Close your eyes.
361
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,771
Uh, uh, I'm sorry,
362
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,474
but I really have to
go to the bathroom.
363
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,976
Close your eyes.
364
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,710
No, listen, ah,
365
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,513
the train has already
left the station.
366
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,682
Close your eyes!
367
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,794
These are pretty good,
368
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:49,696
you want one?
369
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,132
Those are shit.
370
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,468
Okay, don't like the cookies.
371
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,306
So, your, uh,
372
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,208
your bar mitzvah's
coming up, huh?
373
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,509
That's pretty cool, man.
374
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,643
You excited?
375
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:08,580
- Do you masterbate?
- Uh, hah, hmm.
376
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,149
Bruce, it's, it's very normal
377
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:10,983
for a kid your age
378
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,151
to start having the urge
379
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:15,654
to start spreading
the seed, okay?
380
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,223
Just do it in the bathroom
381
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,159
like everyone else, all right?
382
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,329
So, yes, lessons.
383
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,530
Where do we start here?
384
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,032
Oh, actually, you know,
385
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,400
"Ten Commandments" was
on TV the other night,
386
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,868
you like Moses?
387
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,905
- That movie's shit.
- Yeah,
388
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,241
not a film fan, huh?
389
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,875
What's up with
that chick Robin?
390
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,044
Robin?
391
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,245
I don't know
what I like better,
392
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,347
her boobs or her ass.
393
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,857
Hi, Cam, got a second?
394
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,459
If it's really
just a second, Robin,
395
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,760
what's up?
396
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,298
Well, it's kind of
a, a delicate matter.
397
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,501
- Robin-
- Hmm.
398
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,804
Right.
399
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,309
I, I mean, it's, it's
also sort of, um,
400
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,679
of a sexual nature.
401
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:18,017
Robin, workplace
harassment has existed
402
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,618
for too long in society,
403
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,820
mainly because women
have been too afraid
404
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,622
to come forward when
it's happened to them.
405
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,823
Now tell me,
406
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,093
who did this to you?
407
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,095
Well, it was...
408
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:33,732
I, I mean, I'm, I'm
not sure he meant it.
409
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,034
They all mean it, Robin,
410
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,769
just tell me who it was.
411
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:42,842
It was, ah,
412
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:43,776
it was Bruce?
413
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,659
Okay, I'm sorry,
414
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,628
I know it's like, uh,
nap time or whatever,
415
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,430
but a, a, a good friend of mine
416
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,897
was told by a dancer
417
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,099
that the Chinese believe
418
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,834
you should respect the bowel.
419
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,470
Why do you assume I'm Chinese?
420
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,439
I didn't assume
you were Chinese,
421
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,606
but you are Chinese.
422
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:15,841
That's beside the point,
423
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:18,110
you assumed I was Chinese
424
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,946
just because I'm Asian.
425
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,148
Okay, whoa, whoa,
whoa. I didn't,
426
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,982
I didn't assume anything,
427
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,317
but if you wanna get into it,
428
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,586
when, when you introduced
yourself to us,
429
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,455
you told us you
were from Beijing
430
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:30,522
and the last time I checked
431
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,424
Beijing was in China
432
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,593
and I can't see why
somebody from China
433
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,296
can't be called Chinese,
434
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,665
even though I didn't
call you Chinese.
435
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,201
Where the hell do
you think you're going?
436
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:46,638
I am gonna go upstairs
to my favorite bathroom
437
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:51,009
where I'm gonna take
a big, steaming dump.
438
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:57,749
♪ Hey
439
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,418
Ah, ah, here we go.
440
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,521
See, Bruce, it says
here that sexual desire
441
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,456
comes from the yetzer hara,
442
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,025
the so-called evil impulse.
443
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:07,893
Bet you I could get Robin
444
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,361
to do it with me,
445
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,729
she's kinda slutty.
446
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,231
All right,
447
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,799
don't talk that way about Robin.
448
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,700
Why?
449
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:15,801
Have you done it with her?
450
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,136
Bruce, that's
beside the point-
451
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,470
I'll bet you have.
452
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,306
I'll bet you everybody here has.
453
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,108
Look, I'm serious, little man,
454
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,276
if you don't stop that
trash talk right now-
455
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,411
Ooh,
456
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,514
check out that
bitch's sweet ass.
457
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,915
Where do you
think you're going?
458
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:30,816
We're not done here.
459
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,384
We are not, whoa, whoa!
460
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,120
Ooh, oh man.
461
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,787
Mr. Fagen-
462
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:36,855
I'm off to the
little boys room,
463
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,590
make it quick.
- Ah, yeah, uh,
464
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,525
those cookies you gave me,
465
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,026
are they, um,
466
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,695
I mean, ah, what is mun exactly?
467
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:44,763
Never touch the damn things,
468
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,199
make me crap like a goose.
469
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,201
Oh, shit.
470
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,104
Oh, shit, ah, God!
471
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,911
Ah, um.
472
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,081
Hey, come back here!
473
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,983
Okay, come back here!
474
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,425
Where do you
think you're going?
475
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,026
- Bathroom.
- No, you don't!
476
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,929
I work alone!
- Oh, jeez.
477
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,870
Ah!
478
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,938
Ah, ah-ah, fuck!
479
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,185
Ah, ah.
480
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,020
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
481
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,555
Err, ah!
482
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,257
Err, err.
- Uh!
483
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:47,693
Uh, ah!
484
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,760
No!
485
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,796
♪ No-o-o-o-o
486
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,630
Uh!
487
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,964
Clark!
488
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,866
You are a sick, little man!
489
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,036
What the hell is
wrong with you people?
490
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,138
Come on, son, get up.
491
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,808
This poor boy
falls to the ground
492
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,877
and not one of you
offers to help him up?
493
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,279
And you!
494
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,748
You scream at him
that he's sick!
495
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,417
Well, I'll tell you who's sick,
496
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,852
you're all sick!
497
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:16,589
Who's the Chinaman?
498
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,129
This is the highest
existing level
499
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,298
of sensitivity training,
500
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,134
it is a place for those
who are truly lacking
501
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,937
in fundamental social skills.
502
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:36,708
Now, our first topic
is common decency,
503
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:38,445
please pass them along.
504
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,419
Could you pass these over
505
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,555
to the colored fella?
506
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,094
What?
507
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,742
My bathroom?
508
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,178
This is my bathroom!
509
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:17,783
My bathroom!
510
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:21,853
This is my bathroom!
511
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,323
What are you doing, Clark?
512
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,797
Wow, Cam, it's, uh-
513
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:32,999
Lighten up, Caponelli.
514
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,240
- Uh-
- Wow.
515
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,609
- Sorry, go ahead.
- Yeah, excuse me.
516
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:44,910
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
517
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,378
Oh, good God.
518
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,613
Oh, my God, that's-
519
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,881
She should really
see a doctor.
520
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,851
- Really smelly, wow.
- Well use the, huh,
521
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:53,885
use the regular bathroom.
522
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:54,853
- No, no, no.
- Why not?
523
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:55,821
Once you go handi-crapper,
524
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:56,789
you never go back.
525
00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,491
Okay, whatever,
526
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,326
you just, you know,
527
00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:01,393
you shouldn't hold it in,
528
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,961
it's, uh, it's bad for you.
529
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,731
I heard that somewhere.
- Thanks.
530
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:11,338
Phew.
531
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,507
Not if you paid me.
34537
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof