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1
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:13,546
Okay, check this out.
2
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,249
It's the firm's new
automated mail cart.
3
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,152
It follow the scent along a
path they spray on the carpet.
4
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,720
Whenever it gets an
assistant's cubicle,
5
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:21,788
they just take their mail out
6
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,492
and it keeps on going, observe.
7
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,667
Nice.
8
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,640
Hey, it looks like
you're getting a little
thin up top, man.
9
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,841
Fuck off.
10
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,476
Guys, you're
supposed to help me
11
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,044
with the Fallinger leases.
12
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,480
Sam, you were supposed to
give me a midterm evaluation
13
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,281
last week.
14
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,749
Oh, okay.
15
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,485
Well, uh, you're doing a
hell of a job and keep it up.
16
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,187
Thank you, mentor.
17
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,089
Uh, guys, hello.
18
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,157
Help, leases.
19
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,929
Yeah, I can help you
out with the leases.
20
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:07,167
Fine, just meet me in
my office in 15 minutes.
21
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,211
Is Stu in love?
22
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:23,083
She, she is wonderful, but,
oh, she's so outta my league.
23
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,621
Maybe you just need to
be more confident, man.
24
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,324
Look, for whatever reason,
chicks dig lawyers.
25
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,627
Stu, you're a
lawyer, technically.
26
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,930
Look, I got something
that's perfect for you.
27
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,532
What, Pledge?
28
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,568
This is a can of
synthetic pheromones, Stu.
29
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,002
As you probably know,
30
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,637
pheromones are the chemicals
released by humans,
31
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:48,742
which produces the odor that
attracts the opposite sex.
32
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,278
So you mean women?
33
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,912
Yeah.
34
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:56,383
Okay, thanks, Clark, but.
35
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,117
No, Stu, that's
some powerful shit.
36
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,452
I've seen it in action,
37
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,321
but don't take my
word for it, my man.
38
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,990
Anoint yourself with the juice.
39
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,429
Okay.
40
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,630
Smells minty.
41
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,232
Come on, man, get it all over.
42
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,566
No need to be shy.
43
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,102
The women certainly won't be.
44
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,104
There you go.
45
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,038
Nice.
46
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,807
Thanks, guys.
47
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,675
You guys are awesome.
48
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,523
Yeah, you're definitely
thinning up top.
49
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,857
♪ One, two, three, four
50
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,064
♪ All hail the working man
51
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,599
♪ He's got the
world in his hand ♪
52
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,034
♪ All hail the working man
53
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:50,136
♪ The work is never done
54
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:55,108
♪ Wayo-ayo, wayo-ayo
55
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,545
♪ I am the working man
56
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,079
♪ Through the night
to the morning sun ♪
57
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,281
♪ I am the working man
58
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,383
♪ The work is never done
59
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:08,456
♪ Wayo-Ayo, Wayo-ay
60
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,557
♪ We are the working man
61
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,691
♪ And always there
with a helping hand ♪
62
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,059
♪ We are the working man
63
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,761
♪ The job is never done
64
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,062
♪ All hail the working man
65
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,664
♪ When all the work
has just begun ♪
66
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,065
♪ All hail the working man
67
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:22,703
♪ It's never freaking done
68
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,986
Ooh, this is new.
69
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,923
You would be
referring to the yamaka?
70
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:44,891
I would.
71
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,493
Yeah, well, Clark, you see.
72
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:49,061
It's my opinion that in
these uncertain times,
73
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,864
not enough people turn to
a spiritual higher power
74
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,333
for guidance.
75
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,435
I've recently experienced
a religious rebirth.
76
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,304
This wouldn't have anything
to do with your impending
77
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,772
kojak-like baldness, would it?
78
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,107
Okay, how could you even
suggest that you thing?
79
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,109
Okay, all right, whatever.
80
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,978
So look, Scam Publishing's
going on the block.
81
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,714
We need to get over there
and set up the data room.
82
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:08,848
How's tonight for you?
83
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,083
Gut yontif, my boy.
84
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,820
Happy Shemini Atzeret.
85
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,921
What are you still doing here?
86
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,356
You should be getting
ready for shul.
87
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,625
Oh, of course.
88
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,294
Happy Shemini Atzeret
to you too, sir.
89
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,396
Unfortunately, Clark
here was just telling me
90
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:26,533
that we have to work tonight.
91
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,835
On the night our people
commemorate the preparation
92
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,504
for the receiving
of the sacred Torah?
93
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,574
Not in my fucking law firm.
94
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,210
Oh God.
95
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:41,247
I can feel the Holy Spirit
protecting me right now.
96
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,616
I can sense it.
97
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,284
Yeah.
98
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,779
Hey, Sam.
99
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,280
What's up?
100
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,449
I rescheduled that Scam
Publishing thing for tonight.
101
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,351
- Ooh.
- What?
102
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,987
Well, you see tonight
is Simchat Torah,
103
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:24,624
the Jewish Festival to
commemorate the actual receiving
104
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,892
of the Torah.
105
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:29,096
So I'm gonna be out
till I guess next week.
106
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,331
I thought you were agnostic.
107
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,066
Oh, I've always been
very spiritual, Clark.
108
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,267
You know that.
109
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,570
I mean, it's just
the, it's the form
110
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,606
of expression that's changed.
111
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:43,142
Hmm, and aren't
you only half Jewish?
112
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,712
If you're referring to the
fact that my father happens
113
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,147
to be Roman Catholic, then yes,
114
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,782
but if one's mother is Jewish,
115
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:53,886
then one is considered 100%
Jewish under Talmudic law.
116
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,756
Hmm, actually, I am
referring to the fact
117
00:05:56,757 --> 00:06:00,793
that you're using your
mongrel blood to get off work.
118
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,663
Wow, that is a low blow.
119
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:08,736
That, where do you
get, you know what?
120
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,237
That settles it for me, Clark.
121
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,306
I've always had my
suspicions about you.
122
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,010
Now that hurt.
123
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,059
Hey, Robin.
124
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,160
Hi.
125
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,529
Got this files
that you needed.
126
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,899
I figured we should probably
talk about them in private.
127
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:45,473
Okay, they look pretty good.
128
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,810
I'll get back to you if
there are any problems.
129
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,714
Great, that sounds good.
130
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,684
So if there's anything else.
131
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,019
Do you smell something?
132
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,791
I don't know.
133
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,626
What do you think you smell?
134
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,296
Smells kind of like my uncle.
135
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,732
Do you like the smell?
136
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,301
What, the smell of my uncle?
137
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,247
Okay, Stuey's
got a lot of work.
138
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,249
Are you feeling okay, Stu?
139
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,753
Yeah, if you need
anything at all, Robin,
140
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,055
anything, you just call Stu.
141
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:36,957
Okay.
142
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,334
And so as my
proposal indicates,
143
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:52,204
I aim to rectify this inequity
that has existed for years
144
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,373
whereby Jewish
lawyers are allowed
145
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,308
to take off Christian holidays,
146
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,277
but Christian lawyers
in turn are not allowed
147
00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,980
to take off Jewish holidays.
148
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,483
Uh-huh, well, I
guess I need to talk
149
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,054
to the management
committee and possibly meet
150
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:10,189
with a religious
consultant of sorts.
151
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,692
Absolutely, consult away.
152
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,994
I understand completely.
153
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,181
So you like cats, huh?
154
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,249
Yes, I like cats.
155
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,587
Look, Clark, as enlightening
as this has been,
156
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:44,090
I need to focus on a few
non-religious matters right now.
157
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:44,992
Right.
158
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,031
Bless you, Cam.
159
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,142
Heard about your
policy change attempt.
160
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,176
My condolences.
161
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,645
Touche, my good man.
162
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,847
It was a stroke of genius,
getting your cousin Sydney
163
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,216
to be the religious
consultant that Cam conferred
164
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,183
with on the matter.
165
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,685
Well, he is a reform rabbi.
166
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,254
Well, whatever he is he
put a quick end to my plans.
167
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,689
No hard feelings, I hope.
168
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,025
No, no, no, no, no.
169
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,196
We hope to conduct
prayers after the lecture.
170
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:27,033
Hey, Sam, if you'll join us,
we'll have enough for a minyan.
171
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:27,867
What?
172
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,201
Shalom, Doug.
173
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,671
You see, Sam, a minyan
as a group of 10 men,
174
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,273
the minimum required
for Jewish prayer.
175
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,808
You see, the management
committee has agreed
176
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,945
to let all converting lawyers
take off Jewish holidays.
177
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:42,314
Yeah, so naturally I started
my own conversion class
178
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,582
right here at the firm.
179
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,918
Is that my cousin
giving the lecture?
180
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:46,820
Sydney.
181
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,922
He's a good man.
182
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,757
You don't say.
183
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:51,924
I do say.
184
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,059
That cat really
knows his Leviticus.
185
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,160
Well,
it's very important
186
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,494
that you know the Shma, folks.
187
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,863
The Shma is very important.
188
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,965
It's gotta be one
of the top ten.
189
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,099
Let me give you a little sing
190
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,033
and then we'll sing
it all together.
191
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,502
Yeah, all right, Gentiles.
192
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:04,837
Let's get Jewish.
193
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,673
Sydney, take us to the river.
194
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,191
Sam, we need to talk
about the Pearlmutter deal.
195
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:32,132
Sam, hello.
196
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,402
Hey, Robin.
197
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,542
Have you noticed anything
weird about Stu lately?
198
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,212
Clark is totally
outta control.
199
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,949
I mean, the kid's really
starting to freak me out, Sam.
200
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,919
He's acting like a crazy person.
201
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,121
Crazy person.
202
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,156
Yeah.
203
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,858
Maxine, it's Sam.
204
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,493
Can you put me
through to Mr. Fagen?
205
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,142
Clark, how's
conversion class going?
206
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,344
Well played, my
good man, well played.
207
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,178
Yeah, what can I say?
208
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,346
It's a gift.
209
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,547
Once you told Fagen
about the class,
210
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,883
he decided to take
an active role,
211
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,418
and with the promise of his
endless stories about the Shtetl
212
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,488
in Hebrew school, all
the students dropped
out immediately.
213
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,924
Oh no, that's terrible.
214
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,828
Yeah, all of the
students except one.
215
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,697
Ready to go, my young pupil?
216
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,032
Yes, sir.
217
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,300
I'll meet you in my
office in 10 minutes.
218
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,635
Okay, sorry, Sam.
219
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,237
I won't be able to
go to Scam Publishing
220
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,438
with you this afternoon.
221
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,373
It's Tu B'Shvat.
222
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,908
Tu B'sh-what?
223
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:52,244
Tu B'shvat, you know, the
Jewish Festival of Trees.
224
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,279
Oh, I knew that.
225
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,214
No you didn't.
226
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,083
Though it doesn't generally
warrant a day off,
227
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,685
Mr. Fagen asked me to attend
at a conservation area
228
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,253
outside the city
with him in honor
229
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,455
of this wonderful holiday.
- Right.
230
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,358
I'll be outta the office
for the rest of the day.
231
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,627
Yeah, I guess that
means you're working
232
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,198
this Scam Publishing
thing by yourself, huh?
233
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:27,614
And Moses thanked Elijah
for the bag of magic beans
234
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,919
and up the beanstalk
he went.
235
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,194
Now young man, your
conversion is coming
236
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,396
along pretty nicely, I think.
237
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:47,133
You're enthusiastic, committed,
238
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,268
and you look very
fetching in a yamaka.
239
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,602
Thank you, Mr. Fagen.
240
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,172
Now I have a request
to make of you.
241
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:57,009
Every year, I have a
large Passover Seder
242
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,979
with guests coming
from far away lands
243
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:03,449
to have some edishevits and
a little bit of a notch.
244
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:07,719
This year, I would be pleased
if you would take care
245
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,489
of the invitations
for this event.
246
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,158
Sir, I'd be honored.
247
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,860
Of course, you would be.
248
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:16,695
Invite all the Jewish
members of the firm.
249
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:19,298
- Even Lipschitz?
- Even Lipschitz,
250
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,268
and make sure they all
take their shoes off.
251
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,579
Stu, what are you doing
252
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,947
with this thing?
253
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,149
No one in my section is
getting any of their mail.
254
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,452
Is there something
that Stu can do for you?
255
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,554
What?
256
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,557
Yes, give me my mail.
257
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,099
It's your mail.
258
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,369
Give it to me, give it to me.
259
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:01,407
You can just have
anything you want.
260
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:04,010
I want everyone to
get their fucking mail.
261
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,311
Can I have that?
262
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,915
Well, just consider
it done then, babe.
263
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,083
What is going on out there?
264
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,152
- You mean?
- Yeah.
265
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:18,458
You know women.
266
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,427
Are you still
using the pheromones?
267
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:22,495
Oh yeah.
268
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,033
Stu, aren't you wondering
why the mail cart's been
269
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,734
following you around
for five days?
270
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,003
Well, Sam, it's a small
price to pay for the effect
271
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,772
that this stuff
has on the ladies.
272
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,242
Anyway, what I came to ask
you about was what kind
273
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,044
of gift I should bring
to Fagen's Seder.
274
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,578
I'm pretty stoked about it,
275
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,181
and apparently Mrs. Fagen
imports a brisket from Poland
276
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,550
that just melt in your punim.
277
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,386
Fagen's Seder, the
invitations aren't even out yet.
278
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,654
Oh, sure they are.
279
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,857
Yeah, I got my evite
from Clark this morning.
280
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,161
Clark.
281
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:58,164
Now my secretary
pointed out to me that one
282
00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:01,300
of the Jewish lawyers did
not receive an invitation
283
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,901
to this year's festivities,
284
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,505
which I assume must
have been an oversight.
285
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,340
Ah, yes, that
would be Sam, Sir.
286
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,276
That's no mistake.
287
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,311
It's actually a bit
of a long story.
288
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,680
You bastard.
289
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,847
Hold on, sir, one sec.
290
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,249
I don't know who
you think you are,
291
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:21,520
Mr. Born again wasp super
Jew, but I've had it.
292
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:24,556
You're a fraud, and you've
taken things too far.
293
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,192
Well, just calm down, Sam.
294
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,693
No, no, I will not calm down.
295
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,028
How dare you exclude me
296
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,597
from my own people's
religious traditions.
297
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,500
How dare you try and deprive
me of the best fucking piece
298
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,469
of meat I've ever had, Clark.
299
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,771
Well, Sam, I hate to be the
one to have to bring this up,
300
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:44,844
but I saw you in the kitchen
the other day drinking milk
301
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,413
less than five hours
after eating a burger.
302
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,017
Will you stop with
the Jewish shit?
303
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,419
God.
304
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,221
Sorry you had
to hear that, sir.
305
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,055
Who was that?
306
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,556
Was that Sam?
307
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,225
I'm afraid it was, sir.
308
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:02,028
Never in my life
have I heard such disrespect
309
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,229
for our people.
310
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,165
I find it absolutely shocking.
311
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,413
I appreciate your
efforts, young man,
312
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,848
but why are you
delivering my mail?
313
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,584
For the love of
a woman, ma'am?
314
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,021
For love of a.
315
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,469
How are you?
316
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,971
But I think I know
why I didn't receive
317
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,339
an invitation, sir.
318
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,041
You see, Clark and I have
been having a little bit
319
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,176
of a tiff lately and--
320
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,977
No mistake was made.
321
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,447
I heard you in Clark's
office earlier today
322
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,049
degrading your own people.
323
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:57,883
Degrading my own people.
324
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,185
No, sir.
325
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,453
I don't know what you
heard, sir, but come on.
326
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,190
Come on, you and me,
we have a history.
327
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,326
Enough, I'd rather eat
a bunt cake in a brothel
328
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,761
than have in my own
house, at my own Seder,
329
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,530
a self-hating Jew.
330
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,869
You know, I might hate myself,
331
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,572
but it's not because I'm Jewish.
332
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:32,384
Okay, Clark is totally outta
line with this religion thing.
333
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,121
He refuses to do any
drafting for the seven weeks
334
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:38,524
of Shavuots and get
this, he's taken me
335
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,660
off the invitation list
for the big Passover Seder.
336
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,494
Oh yeah.
337
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,562
I'm going to that.
338
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,331
Excuse me?
339
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:46,633
You're not even Jewish.
340
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,168
I'm sorry.
341
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,569
It's not my fault.
342
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,738
For whatever reason, Stu
kind of made it his mission
343
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,340
to get Clark to
put me on the list,
344
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:57,543
and even though the kid's
been totally freaking me out,
345
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,978
I have been dying to try
that Polish brisket everyone
346
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,247
is talking about.
347
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,516
Yeah, well then, I
mean, I guess that's it.
348
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,984
I gotta write Clark off.
349
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:09,121
I mean, taking me off the
list in favor of a shiksa.
350
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,757
I have no best friend.
351
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,992
That doesn't matter, right?
352
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,394
I mean, I don't need him.
353
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,863
I've got other friends
that I can hang out with,
354
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,231
like you, Robin.
355
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,168
You want to go downstairs
and grab some lunch?
356
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,802
No.
357
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:28,508
Wow, wow, 10 real oranges in
every carton, that's awesome.
358
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,709
It's weird, though.
359
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,245
I've heard that citrus is
very phlegm-inducing, phlem .
360
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,348
Okay, this is my impression of
Christopher Walken doing his
361
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,217
impression of John Trevolta.
362
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,319
Mr. Carter, it's weird.
363
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,453
I'm like powder.
364
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,888
I got special powers.
365
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,490
It's a phenomenon.
366
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:48,093
This is my impression of
my neighbor's dog, watch.
367
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,833
You know how dogs do that?
368
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:55,734
They kind of, they're
into one thing
369
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,102
and then they, okay, cool.
370
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,637
I'm going to be back
in half an hour.
371
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,739
We'll go have dinner.
372
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,146
Stu, I need you.
373
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,450
I can't take any more
of Sam's friendship,
374
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,719
so you have to get him to stop.
375
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,254
Sorry, one sec.
376
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:19,291
Robin, you had your chance with
Stu, and you blew it, okay?
377
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,460
We had some nice times
with the due diligence
378
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,628
and the uncle smell
and everything,
379
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,764
but Robin, all
that's in the past.
380
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:26,899
I got a new girl now.
381
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:32,071
I'm sorry.
382
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:08,608
I see you
haven't been circumcised.
383
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:13,078
I'm afraid
that's the case, sir.
384
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,482
Well, it's never too late.
385
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,651
Abraham wasn't sniped
till he was 112.
386
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,120
I'll make us an appointment.
387
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,360
Okay, I'm out.
388
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,829
- Game over?
- Without a doubt.
389
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,965
So I told Fagen about
your lifelong commitment
390
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:37,503
to improve the living
conditions of Bolivian Jews.
391
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,904
There are Bolivian Jews?
392
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,306
Who the hell knows?
393
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,173
Anyway, so you're back on
the list for the Seder.
394
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,142
Nice.
395
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:45,578
Oh, thanks,
396
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,551
and unfortunately,
since I failed to appear
397
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:56,187
at all three appointments
Fagen made for me to have the--
398
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,356
Peepee surgery?
399
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,057
Yeah, I think
I'm most definitely
400
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,559
off the list.
401
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,894
Incidentally, had you gone
through with the circumcision,
402
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,063
you probably would've had
several weeks off work.
403
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,798
Choose the hills you die on.
404
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:09,601
Ah, but I missed you, Clarky.
405
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,703
I'm not the same
quirky personality
406
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:15,341
without your rigid
wasp ass for contrast.
407
00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:17,709
And I'm not the same
well-mannered society type
408
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:22,280
without your swarthy little
neurotic Jew ass for contrast.
409
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,519
Okay, it's enough
with this thing already.
410
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,755
Oh, you guys
are friends again.
411
00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:30,989
Thank God.
412
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,258
I mean, that's great.
413
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:36,295
Jesus, Sam, looks like you're
getting a little thin up top.
414
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:38,597
You told her to say that.
415
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:39,498
I didn't
tell her shit.
416
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,231
He told you to say that.
417
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:41,133
Hmm?
418
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:03,655
♪ Hot summer night
419
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:08,059
♪ Storm clouds in the air
420
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:12,398
♪ My eyes little heavy
421
00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:17,470
♪ I'm feeling in the best
pants I hardly wear ♪
422
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:23,275
♪ I don't want to
30171
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