Original subtitles

Previously on Picket Fences. I've known Bill Pugin for 18 years.

I never liked him. When he burst into flames, part of me wanted to bring

marshmallows. Douglas, Mamba, a pairing for the midget, your honor.

I'm very good at penile cases.

My brother -in -law's a moyo. Has malpractice insurance.

He's got a two -inch deductible. My father always told me, keep your head

screwed on straight.

If I had a contraption like that, maybe I could have done it. She's my third

comatose client.

I'm starting my own vegetable garden. Have you no shame whatsoever?

This man vilifies the profession.

He's just saying that because I'm white.

He hates white Jews. What?

Mort Wallace. Wife found him unconscious on the bed.

Have a look at it.

Well, get a statement. Where's the... Yeah.

That's Mort's wife.

That?

What? He never told me she was... I know.

I came in and he wasn't breathing.

I'm actually going to tell Jill to meet us at the hospital.

Never mind, Jimmy.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Wallace.

I'm afraid he's gone.

No.

It's all right. I'd like to take him.

Yeah.

But he can't be dead.

I'm afraid he is.

He can't be.

When are you releasing Mort Wallace?

I'm not finished with him yet. The service is this afternoon.

Please wait outside. This is an official examination room. Of course.

Sophie would like you to put a little smile on his face. You know, Mort always

had the smile.

I thought it was gas.

Never mind the smile. We could have a problem.

I can't give you a body for a two o 'clock service.

What do you mean?

I mean there are questions and... Carter, don't do this. He's orthodox.

he's got to be put in the ground before sundown.

I don't care. Something isn't right with him. He's dead. Nobody's perfect.

This could be a police matter.

It wasn't cardiac arrest like I thought. It appears to be asphyxiation. I think

ligature, but there were no bruises. Carter, would you please just slow down?

think he suffocated.

Suffocated like strangled? Well, there were no marks. And no signs of a

struggle? I need to do more tests.

We need the body. Will you forget the funeral?

All right, all right. Hold it now. You don't need the body for a memorial

service. Carter, do what you have to, but try to release him before sundown.

Mort was a friend of mine. I want to put him at peace.

I knew something was wrong.

It's just too quiet.

When he sleeps on his back, he snores something awful.

Your heart rate and

pressure are actually quite good.

That's surprising, given...

Tragic circumstances.

I don't feel good.

Well, you suffered a tragic loss.

And, Mrs.

Wallace, you're overweight.

Really? You picked up on that?

You must be a very good doctor.

As a doctor, I'm very concerned about you.

This could be life -threatening.

My heart rate's okay.

My cholesterol's 140.

That's my family history. Where are you?

Well, I don't really know your family history.

No, you don't.

Other than my blood pressure, you know nothing about me, except that I'm fat.

What's the word for that? When somebody forms a conclusion with no information?

Oh, bigotry.

Well, I was going to proceed delicately considering your pain, but I can see

you're perfectly comfortable with confrontation, so let me tell you this.

I don't need... family histories. I don't need blood samples. I don't need x

-rays to give you an informed diagnosis. You weigh, what, 500 pounds?

This is the size of your heart.

If you don't lose weight, you're going to die. And soon, this size heart cannot

support that size body.

I guess you're right.

Before we conclude our services, I'd like to call on any...

friends or relatives who might want to share a few words concerning Mort.

Who

among

us didn't buy his watch from Mort?

He was a friend and a great businessman.

I had a vision.

Mort arrives at the portals of heaven with an old Indian.

The angel of mercy greets them and said, You have lived good lives.

Name a wish and it shall be granted.

And the Indian said, If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'd like a million

dollars.

The angel said, Granted.

Walk right in.

Then he turned to Mort to name his wish.

And Mort said, Angel, my needs are simple.

I'd like a little table with some costume jewelry and a half hour with

Indian.

A half hour.

Well, I guess not.

Maybe you should sing again.

Something with Pep.

Right there. You see that redness?

It doesn't look that red.

There's very slight petechial hemorrhaging in the conjunctiva.

Also in the lip mucosa.

It's hardly detectable, but it's there.

What does that mean?

There was a struggle. Slight, and it didn't last long. But I also found some

fibers in his mouth. I'm going to match them against the pillows.

Are you saying it was murder?

Well, uh... Well what?

I don't want to cry murder again if I can't prove it.

Also... I don't want to keep another Jewish man from being buried.

Carter, you have to make a call.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm calling it murder.

It was a beautiful service.

Mort would have loved it. That joke you told was offensive to Mort Wallace as

well as to every Jew, not to mention the Indians.

Well, I always say if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're not funny. I can't

tolerate it any longer, the joke, the tastelessness. You are not welcome in

synagogue.

What did you just say? Your membership in this temple is hereby rescinded

permanently.

You can't do that. Don't come back here, Douglas, because if you do, I'll have

you arrested for trespassing.

Mrs. Wallace, when you discovered your husband, where were you prior to that?

In the kitchen.

Had you ever... Did you go out of the house that day?

We think there was foul play.

There was blood pressure buildup in his head, and we found some linen fibers in

his mouth.

We think he was smothered by a pillow.

Can you think of anybody who might want to kill your husband?

Would you answer the question, please?

Do you know of anyone who might want to harm your husband?

Me.

I killed him.

Read her, Miranda. We can't use... I don't need Miranda, and I don't want a

lawyer. I did it.

I killed him.

And I didn't use a pillow.

What happened?

What happened was 20 years of him calling me fat.

I came into the room and I saw him sleeping and I just did it. What exactly

you do?

I walked over to where he was sleeping and I sat on his head.

You sat on his head?

With all my heft.

Oh.

And that killed him?

Inside a minute.

If he moved, I didn't feel it.

Hey, you might want to get down to the jail.

Sophie Wallace just confessed to murdering her husband.

She's going to need a lawyer.

I heard. Sat on his head.

Tragic.

Aren't you going to represent her?

No, let someone else do it.

Are you okay?

Yes. Can you please excuse yourself?

Sure.

Hey, why don't you sue the synagogue? I'm sure it'll get a lot of publicity

and... I asked to be excused.

You really should have counsel.

Why? So I can sell my house to pay for legal fees?

I sat on his head. I squashed him to death.

Ma 'am, there are lesser charges.

such as manslaughter, second degree.

Mr. Littleton, do you really think I need the added spectacle of a trial?

It's your right to have a trial.

My right?

I have to sit on somebody to get people to recognize I have rights.

There are pleas that can be worked out without a trial. Maybe... Forget it,

deputy. Bring in your steno.

The fat lady's ready to sing. Isn't that what we all want?

I told you not to come back.

Well, I am back.

Well, get out.

Look, you can take me to court if you want. I don't care.

I don't need a court order to go to the temple.

It's my God -given right. I've had it with you, Wambaugh. I do not want you

here. I'm calling for a bet din.

What? You heard me. A bet din.

Well, let the rabbinic court decide if I... There isn't a bet din in all of

Wisconsin. According to the Talmud, we could do an ad hoc tribunal, do it right

here. A bet din.

Immediately.

And you agree to be bound?

The rabbinic court decides.

Let's go. Fine. Tomorrow.

You've got yourself a bed din.

Murder one?

There's no diminished capacity.

I have to go with first degree. Well, she should at least have a lawyer. She

can't plead out to first degree. She waived it. Excuse me. This might be none

my business, but Sophie Wallace is in an extremely depressed state right now.

This is probably why she's refusing a lawyer.

Even so, that is her decision.

No, I'm sorry. We let her plead to a capital crime?

Look what's happening. We're capitalizing on her depression.

How can you do that?

Excuse me, but if Mrs. Wallace had rented a forklift, raised a

dropped it on her sleeping husband, none of us would have a problem with first

degree. Now, what she did is the equivalent.

With malice of forethought, she dropped herself off 500 pounds on her husband's

head and squished it like a grapefruit.

Nothing was squashed. He died by suffocation.

If a person commits a murder, deputy, we charge with murder.

Even if the killers are vulnerable.

Now, I suppose you want to bring her all together so she can go out on a date

with Carter Pike.

You know, I've really enjoyed your continuing lecture series.

But if you continue to speak to me in a condescending tone, I'm going to take

these five fingers and I'm going to fold them up until they make a fist.

And then I am going to knock you completely unconscious.

Maxine, type up the suspect statement in triplicate and have a copy on my desk

by 5 p .m. You think you could do that?

Yeah, I can do that.

Thank you.

What?

He started it.

It's like a Jewish arbitration, very traditional.

No lawyer's allowed, which should give me an advantage since I am a lawyer, but

you know this.

Can I bring my brother, Zach?

Why?

Well, he's still thinking of becoming Jewish, and I think he'd like to see it.

Then bring him. I'll be happy to have support.

My wife is in Florida visiting her sister.

First we each argue, then we get a rebuttal. This is good. I'm very good at

rebuttal, but you know this.

Mr. Wambaugh, are you sure this is a good idea?

What?

Well, it's not a court of law.

This is before very religious Jewish people.

And?

And I'm afraid you could get hurt.

I'm a good Jew.

A God -loving man.

I've been a religious Jew all my life. They can't do this to me.

I'm a good Jew.

You'll see I'm very good at rebuttal. I saved God all my life.

You'll see.

You'll see.

And I thought I'd come check you out. Why?

Oh, well, your rate was a little up and... You know.

Um, look.

Can I be blunt?

It would be a pleasure. Last time you said I'd die, I said... Well, um... I'm

not a lawyer, so I don't know the legal ramifications of your case, but, um,

obesity. Now, the Supreme Court has recently declared it to be a recognized

handicap. As a doctor.

I know that there's a whole host of psychological problems that go with

obesity, which is what your condition is.

Given that I don't have much time, why don't you get to the point?

Okay.

Despite your hostile attitude, I don't think you're an evil person.

Given the fact that you do have a handicap, that you were subject to

spousal abuse, these are extenuating circumstances.

Do you know what I hate more than anything else, Dr. Brock?

Pity.

I was just trying to help you.

Uh -huh.

Just stretch out there on that cot, take a nap.

How dare you?

You know, you don't fool me. You'd rather be hated than pitied, so you play

antagonist. That's fine, but guess what?

The meaner you are to me, the more I feel sorry for you. So come on, be mean,

nasty to me, and I'll just cry big, fat tears of sympathy.

Look,

if you plead guilty to first degree, the least you'll get, the very least that

you will get is 12 years.

and for you, that life.

As you know, the Beth Din works on the principle of peshara, fair compromise,

which means that each of you must be prepared to make concessions.

Now, you will note that we are joined on our tribunal by Jason Steinberg, who,

although not a rabbi, is a man devoted to our faith and a fair arbiter.

Let us begin by hearing from Rabbi Leavitt.

Objection.

Forgive me, Rabbi, but according to the tradition of a Beth Din, it is the

plaintiff who goes first.

I understand.

But since it is really the Rabbi's action being challenged, it's probably

to hear his argument first.

Well, actually, Rabbi, maybe you should let Mr. Wambon go first.

Left to his own devices, I suspect he'll make my case for me.

If that ridicule is representative of your position, I suspect it will be you

making Mr. Wambaugh's case for him.

Apologize, Rabbi.

Before we begin, let us pray.

I don't think she

killed him at all.

Why? Well, get this.

Carter's analysis... shows that the fibers found in Mort's mouth match the

pillow, not Sophie's pants.

She didn't do it.

Somebody else snuffed him with a pillow, and she's covering.

Why would she be willing to go to jail for something she didn't do?

Love.

I'm sorry?

I think maybe she's having an affair.

Think about it. She's involved with somebody.

Probably a plumber or a gardener. Somebody who comes to the house.

limited means, which makes a divorce too much of an economic sacrifice.

The lover kills Mort, figuring who's going to think murder. When we do call

homicide, Sophie throws herself on the grenade to protect her secret lover.

Do you have any other evidence, Deputy?

It's based on a gut feeling, I admit.

But in my bones, I know that Sophie Wallace isn't a killer.

Maybe she could conspire, but she couldn't do the act.

Uh -huh.

I'd like you to hold off filing a plea for one day.

Let me do some digging.

Deputy, I don't mean to be condescending. In fact, I have a very

frankly, I can't afford to be knocked unconscious, however briefly.

You're doing it again.

That's condescension. You're doing it.

We have a confession.

It's supported by all physical and forensic evidence. Now, I'm proceeding

disposition.

I do appreciate your commitment.

I'd just like a small table.

Some costume jewelry.

And a half hour with that Indian.

The problem is, this is not an isolated offense.

He's a personification of tastelessness.

You're banning him because he told an insensitive joke?

Because he's morally repugnant.

This man has never broken a law.

There are Jews who have served time for murder and yet allowed into temple.

Are you sure, Rabbi, that no one in your synagogue has ever committed a gross

crime against mankind?

I cannot be sure of this, of course. Then how do you single out Mr. Wambaugh?

Because his behavior is particularly offensive to our faith.

He's the walking stereotype of the ambulance -chasing shyster. He

most negative characterization of the Jewish lawyer, an image that has

us through history.

It is for that reason Mr. Wambaugh, in a way, is worse than a murderer.

Because his behavior disparages our entire culture.

That seems a bit far -reaching, Rabbi. You know the history of Judaism and

prejudice in the society, Mr. Steinberg.

Well, Douglas Wambaugh is.

The ugly caricature.

How

can

anyone?

Witness the antics of this man and not attach credibility to the anti -Semitic

bigotry that haunts us all. His very being helps foster anti -Semitic

and I do not want him in my synagogue.

You want me to take a polygraph?

It won't take long, just... I confessed.

I know, but just the same, I have a few questions.

Fine, ask them, but why the lie detector?

It's sort of a police procedure.

Could I talk to you for a second, please, Deputy?

Can it wait?

No.

Did you tell those reporters that

this case is still unresolved?

They asked me if Sophie was the killer. I answered, honestly, there were some

open questions, yes. And what's up with this polygraph?

It's an investigational tool.

You may remember the concept of investigation. It's something we do to

facts, which usually is a prerequisite to closing a case. Look, if you want to

indulge in your little love conspiracies on your private time, that's fine.

I mean, I know you consider the root of all human behavior to be a broken heart.

Peg!

If you don't take your finger away, I'm going to break it.

What's going on?

Deputy.

I don't know what the problem is between you two. Look, the problem is we have

an open and shut case with this Wallace murder and she's doing everything in her

power to undermine my prosecution. I'm after the truth. And if the truth

compromises your prosecution... Tell the sheriff your little theory.

Before we close the case, I would like to give Sophie Wallace a polygraph.

Why? It's just a hunch.

There's no harm.

Can I give her a polygraph?

Set it up.

Thank you.

She started it.

Mr. Wambaugh, the floor is now yours.

There's an old fable.

Ask an anti -Semite what he thinks of the Jews.

and he'd say they are a disgusting race.

But what about Levine? He says, well, Levine is an exception.

He's a wonderful man.

How about Cohen? He says, Cohen?

Cohen's a saint.

Ask a Jew what he thinks of the Jews, and he'd say they are God's chosen

What about Levine? Oh, Levine?

Levine's a bastard.

How about Cohen?

Cohen? Cohen's a son of a bitch.

There's the other stereotype, that we turn on each other.

My, how you just fostered that one. Mr. Wambaugh, I must say I share Rabbi

Levin's concern.

I'm told you passed out business cards that read, uh, reasonable doubt for a

reasonable fee.

You had a radio jingle saying, Douglas Wambaugh, when you need a lawyer to get

there before the ambulance.

That's Douglas Wambaugh, the lawyer, the hustler.

Not the Jew.

But that's not the way people see it.

Like Rabbi Levin says, the ambulance chasing Scheister is a negative image

has plagued us.

My father was a Jewish attorney.

He was victimized by that caricature.

My father was in Poland. He died in an oven. You want to compare hardships?

If you are sensitive to the Jewish victimization, Mr. Wambaugh, perhaps you

could be sensitive to the bigotries that still threaten us.

I am, Rabbi.

And what about your responsibilities?

Your responsibilities as a Jew to act in a manner which does not perpetuate the

prejudice which you know is out there.

Well, I suppose I could wake up each day and assume, like you suggest, that the

world is full of anti -Semites.

But that would make me a bigot.

I prefer to presume that the people are enlightened and not prejudiced.

Naivety is not a defense.

Sometimes it is the best defense.

We all have our ways, Mr. Wambaugh. But when you tell racist jokes at funerals,

when you strut into court with gross insensitivity, when you cheat justice by

instructing drunk drivers to drink before breathalyzers can be

at least give the appearance of being despicable.

Whether my own doing or not, integrity has never been mine to sell.

I have it.

I know in my mind that I have it.

But to get by, I became Douglas Swambo, the character, the opportunist, the

winner.

And you can live with that?

I can survive with that.

Well, your actions may help you survive personally, but they endanger our

culture. There's another old saying.

The future of the Jewish people is in your hands.

I remember reading that standing at the urinal.

You see, I'm a character.

I embarrass myself.

But I would never embarrass my God or my faith.

If I have done so, I am nothing.

As best as we can determine, the polygraph is in progress. Whether or not

detector can be accurate through that much layering of fat... Regarding the

recent rumors that the defendant climbed on a stepladder and threw herself onto

her husband's head, crushing it like a pine cone.

Do you live at 22 Agabon Lane?

Yes.

You were married to Mort Wallace?

Yes.

Are you able to find clothing at regular stores, or do you have to go to the

South and Happy?

Jimmy.

Did your husband more verbally abuse you?

Yes. Did you sit on his head?

Yes. Is that what killed him?

Yes.

Did he make a sound when you sat on him?

No.

Not even a little squeak?

Certainly the virtues of any rabbi should include forgiveness.

But these are desperate times for the American Jew.

Through intermarriage and assimilation, the Jewish religion is not something we

can take for granted in this country. That is a fact.

Inversion has become very important to us.

And it's just as important that Jews return to their tradition.

He deters that.

The treasures of Judaism cannot be seen with a man like this around.

I have here a petition signed by the entire council at the synagogue.

Fourteen members.

14 signatures asking that Mr. Wambaugh be banned from the synagogue.

Mr. Wambaugh, we shall hear your rebuttal.

Mr. Wambaugh?

I have nothing.

You have nothing else to say?

No.

Excuse me.

Could I be heard?

Who are you?

I'm Kimberly Brock. I work for Mr. Wamba, and I understand witnesses can be

heard. Very well. You may speak.

Um, I'm not Jewish, and I don't know much about your traditions.

Um, Mr. Wamba, I won't begin to defend all the stupid jokes he makes

or the cases that he takes.

Last month, my other brother was shot, and he defended the kid who shot him.

I hated you so much that day.

But you know, while it's true he'll take any case for a fee, it's also true

he'll take the case for no fee.

Who stood up for Frank the Potato Man?

Him. A homeless man who couldn't pay.

And Douglas Swambaugh took that case.

And who stood up for the Christian Science couple?

And at Mayor Pugin's funeral, when nobody stood up to say something on his

behalf, who did?

His political enemy.

And still, he would not let him be buried without a eulogy.

And Rachel Harris.

When the town turned on her, who came to her defense?

And who was it that got up at Mort Wallace's funeral?

You can say.

Whatever you want about Douglas Wambaugh, but there isn't a kinder man

town.

He gives help to whoever needs it.

Whoever.

And I'll tell you this.

He has never, never done anything to deliberately hurt a person.

The way that you have hurt him.

How dare you judge him?

Any temple, any faith should be proud to claim him.

All right.

The results are in.

She killed him.

Thank you.

Take her to the courthouse. Hold on. I'm not finished yet. She may be guiltier

than we thought.

What? She was telling the truth when she said she killed him. But the stuff

about Morg abusing her and calling her fat, that was a lie.

The polygraph indicates Mort didn't mistreat her.

Jimmy, I know this is unorthodox, but may I talk to her one more time, alone?

I don't want to talk to you.

I'm done talking, period.

You know, when I'd examined Mort, he told me he was so afraid of living

than you.

I took care of that, didn't I?

Mort loved you, didn't he, Sophie?

He never abused you. He never ridiculed you. He loved you.

And you loved him.

You didn't murder him.

Tell me what happened.

I, um... was sleeping next to him.

I must have rolled over on him.

But why didn't you just say that?

You're an innocent person.

I'm a pathetic person.

Maybe I'd rather be thought of as a murderer than... Can you imagine?

To be sleeping on top of somebody and not even know it.

I'm so fat I can't even feel.

There's just so much humiliation a person can stand.

That's why you're confessing to murder?

There's more dignity to it.

Well, what about the dignity of your marriage?

And what about Mort?

Do you really want people to think that he abused you?

That's not fair to him.

No.

Well, then for him, admit the truth.

adjourned. I was passed a note from that young man in the back there, reminding

me that the three basic rules of Judaism are love God, love learning,

and do good deeds.

He goes on to note, Mr.

Wambaugh is good at all the rules.

Young fella, I would agree.

But, Mr. Wambaugh, I must also agree with a number of Rabbi Levin's

You are often insensitive, boorish, at times even repugnant.

It is my right as an individual to draw these conclusions, as it is Rabbi

Levin's right to be personally offended by your character.

Where you are wrong...

is in assuming that every Jew must share your judgment.

And where you are egregiously wrong is in attributing one man's conduct to an

entire race of people.

I'm not doing that. I'm saying the general public does that.

Then it is you who are bigoted.

Mr. Wombo is a man, complete with human flaws.

If you're offended by him, condemn him as a man.

Not as a Jew.

But he's perceived as a Jew, and it hurts us.

You see that young woman back there?

If she's an indication as to how Mr. Wambaugh is perceived, any religion

be glad to have him.

It is the order of this Beth Din that Mr. Wambaugh be readmitted to your

synagogue.

Mr.

Wambaugh.

If I should die before you, please, please, do not stand up at my funeral.

The session is now concluded.

Douglas, the court has spoken, and I will abide.

We've decided to release you.

Maxine will drive you home.

There's a lot of press out in front, so maybe we can sneak you out the back.

I'm kind of tough to sneak out.

Well, it's just, it's those tabloid reporters, so you might as well avoid

No.

I'll go out the front.

I'll get my coat.

I'm sorry. You were right.

It's not that I don't trust your confidence.

Yes, it is.

That's exactly what it is. No.

What I don't trust is when you come from an emotional place.

Like when you arrested your own therapist.

You play Cupid with Carter Pike.

I think you're a lonely person, and that compromises your judgment.

So when you came to me talking about Sophie's got a lover, I thought here she

goes again.

I apologize.

Okay.

Excuse me.

One of the other reasons I get so rattled around you.

I don't know. I get rattled.

Maybe that compromises my judgment.

Maybe we could, uh, get dinner.

You know, smooth things out.

What?

Never mind.

Nothing. Never mind. Never mind.

Uh, we'll talk about it later. It was good work on the case, okay?

Again, I apologize.

I hope I'm not intruding, even though it's my nature. No, hi.

I had a good day today.

Oh, excellent.

They declared me fit to be a Jew in good standing.

Now, this is very important.

I understand.

I thought I would throw a party in celebration of a victory at a Beth Din.

And I want you all to be there.

We'll have refreshments.

Well, good.

Thank you.

Well, actually, I came over... You

have

wonderful children, Jimmy.

Jill.

I have a son and daughter.

I love my kids, too, you know.

They're back east, so we don't see them too much.

That doesn't mean that I don't love them with all my heart.

It's just that we don't see them too much because it's so far.

I know when parents look at their children, they see something special.

Sometimes when they look too close, they're not special.

But yours are.

Oh, I know you know that.

You should know that. Well, other people know that, too.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, I must go. A celebration.

Douglas Wambo, a winner at the Benton.

There'll be a big party.

A big party.