All language subtitles for The Vampires of Midland S01E09 Holiday Special 1080p.START.WebDl.AAC.H264

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:21,898 How come you're driving like a maniac? 2 00:00:22,149 --> 00:00:25,304 Everybody is hurrying somewhere. You'll be in time! 3 00:00:25,587 --> 00:00:27,429 But if you won't, so you didn't really need it. 4 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,030 Don't be a drag, pops. I've been driving for 30 years! 5 00:01:14,588 --> 00:01:16,734 Mister, are you all right? 6 00:01:19,033 --> 00:01:22,619 I am. Call an ambulance for the kid. 7 00:01:32,687 --> 00:01:34,424 He's alive! 8 00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:38,102 Holy crap! 9 00:02:07,679 --> 00:02:10,322 Come on. Call! 10 00:02:10,627 --> 00:02:13,908 Are you guys calling the police? 11 00:02:14,159 --> 00:02:17,744 - Of course we are. - Why? Nuh, don't! 12 00:02:17,995 --> 00:02:20,883 - His face covered in blood. - What are you talking about? 13 00:02:21,265 --> 00:02:23,329 It's just a ketchup! 14 00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:25,829 Wait, pops. Is it a prank or something? 15 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,250 Yeah! Exactly! 16 00:02:29,501 --> 00:02:32,469 - That's so cool, pops! - Yeah, that's right. 17 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,728 Super! 18 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,908 - Hello! - Hi! 19 00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:28,596 SMOLENSK COLLEGE OF MOTOR TRANSPORT DORMITORY NO. 1 20 00:03:35,698 --> 00:03:38,237 Oh, vampire's here. 21 00:03:41,109 --> 00:03:43,744 Don't fret. I don't bite nerds. 22 00:03:48,815 --> 00:03:50,737 What the hell?! 23 00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,198 This is blood. 24 00:04:04,797 --> 00:04:06,315 I'm telling you, this is blood. 25 00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:09,713 Hey you, prick! Did you kill someone? 26 00:04:12,529 --> 00:04:16,053 His blog has made him crazy. And he really killed someone. 27 00:04:16,304 --> 00:04:18,119 - Zhenyok! - What? 28 00:04:18,398 --> 00:04:20,026 Are you stoned? 29 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,119 I think I had an accident. 30 00:04:24,619 --> 00:04:27,221 - What? - I got hit by a minibus. 31 00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:31,367 You seem to be safe and sound. What's with all the blood? 32 00:04:34,768 --> 00:04:36,586 Blood... 33 00:04:38,690 --> 00:04:41,025 That old man. He went through the windshield. 34 00:04:43,611 --> 00:04:45,416 Is he alive? 35 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,549 Yeah. He is. 36 00:04:50,616 --> 00:04:52,385 He ruined my hoodie. 37 00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:55,834 Okay then. 38 00:04:56,085 --> 00:04:57,821 Join us for another round! 39 00:04:58,453 --> 00:05:02,649 No, I have plans for tonight. 40 00:05:16,618 --> 00:05:21,000 Anyway, this diploma is for my mother. I don't need it at all. 41 00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:24,931 Like I have a profession, so I can make money and so on. 42 00:05:25,796 --> 00:05:29,618 I want to be a blogger. I already have 3K subscribers. 43 00:05:30,884 --> 00:05:32,641 I was thinking of going to medical school. 44 00:05:32,892 --> 00:05:36,727 And then I had a chance to go to a clinic and I was like... uh, no, thanks. 45 00:05:36,978 --> 00:05:38,618 Wait. 46 00:05:39,485 --> 00:05:41,118 Can you feel it? 47 00:05:41,369 --> 00:05:43,806 Squirrel. Smells like squirrel! 48 00:05:45,168 --> 00:05:47,358 Oh, there it is! 49 00:05:47,617 --> 00:05:49,211 - Really! - Squirrel! 50 00:05:49,462 --> 00:05:51,418 How did you even smell it at this distance? 51 00:05:51,922 --> 00:05:53,422 I don't know. 52 00:05:53,673 --> 00:05:55,939 How do you know what squirrels smell like? 53 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,730 What about me? 54 00:06:00,624 --> 00:06:02,316 Do I smell good? 55 00:06:03,793 --> 00:06:06,000 Yeah, you have a great perfume. 56 00:06:06,251 --> 00:06:07,925 No shit, I know, right. 57 00:06:08,492 --> 00:06:11,121 Ah, I mean, well... 58 00:06:13,078 --> 00:06:15,134 It's an orange and... 59 00:06:17,109 --> 00:06:18,767 Like a tree. 60 00:06:19,609 --> 00:06:22,603 - Sandalwood! - Man, can you really feel it? 61 00:06:22,854 --> 00:06:26,477 - What do my hands smell like? - Coconut lotion. Wait, you... 62 00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:30,015 Have you had marshmallows today? 63 00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,376 - Yeah. - Wait! 64 00:06:32,627 --> 00:06:34,507 I also feel... 65 00:06:38,622 --> 00:06:40,953 - Shit? - What?! 66 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,390 - Dog! - Dog?! 67 00:06:46,804 --> 00:06:48,429 Dog shit! 68 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,726 Why are you laughing, you stoners?! 69 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,375 Nothing. You know... Poop well! 70 00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:57,155 Should I let the dog loose on you? Jackie, sic'em! 71 00:06:57,616 --> 00:07:00,633 - Hold on! - Run! 72 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,984 - You're so fun! - You're too! 73 00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:15,915 I'm having a great time with you. 74 00:07:17,148 --> 00:07:19,977 Wow! You've got bold. 75 00:07:20,796 --> 00:07:22,610 Would you dare to kiss me? 76 00:07:24,984 --> 00:07:26,665 Why not? 77 00:07:33,711 --> 00:07:35,649 You bit me, idiot! 78 00:07:38,282 --> 00:07:40,313 I was told you were weirdo! 79 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,415 - Masha, wait! - Screw you! 80 00:07:44,406 --> 00:07:46,337 Don't worry. 81 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,532 You're not weirdo. 82 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,196 Well, maybe just a little. 83 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,204 Who are you? 84 00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:03,867 It's more important who you are. 85 00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:07,134 What? I'm a human. 86 00:08:07,993 --> 00:08:09,641 Not anymore. 87 00:08:10,101 --> 00:08:15,431 Okay, then. Take care, gramps. Bye! 88 00:08:16,484 --> 00:08:19,118 You better tell me, what you liked best. 89 00:08:19,898 --> 00:08:22,626 Kissing or the taste of blood? 90 00:08:26,196 --> 00:08:28,438 START ORIGINAL SERIES 91 00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:32,597 YURIY STOYANOV GLEB KALYUZHNY 92 00:08:33,759 --> 00:08:37,308 EKATERINA KUZNETSOVA ARTEM TKACHENKO 93 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,027 OLGA MEDYNICH ZOYA MANSUROVA 94 00:08:44,535 --> 00:08:47,418 MAXIM GALKIN 95 00:09:24,504 --> 00:09:30,019 THE VAMPIRES OF MIDLAND NEW BLOOD 96 00:09:32,285 --> 00:09:34,074 Annushka, is that you? 97 00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:37,664 Come in, child. Sit down. 98 00:09:41,443 --> 00:09:43,033 Well? 99 00:09:44,193 --> 00:09:45,831 Tell me. 100 00:09:46,082 --> 00:09:48,270 How was your day at work? 101 00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:50,511 It was, thanks God. 102 00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:59,316 - Delicious! - I know, right? 103 00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,097 That's the story in a nutshell. 104 00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:05,242 Yesterday a delegation of Buddhist monks showed up in our city. 105 00:10:05,617 --> 00:10:09,707 One of them got sick. He got an appointment with Jean by a stroke of luck. 106 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:20,773 That's what it means when people don't drink or smoke, and have pious mind. 107 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,511 But why did he get sick then? 108 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,871 Good evening everyone! 109 00:10:29,047 --> 00:10:32,011 What a nasty December this year. 110 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,503 Hi, Grandpa. 111 00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,519 What we're celebrating? 112 00:10:39,976 --> 00:10:42,611 We're tasting your monk. 113 00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:49,337 - There are four glasses. - Yep. 114 00:10:49,626 --> 00:10:54,134 So you're waiting for Olga? Did you invite her? I didn't either. 115 00:10:54,469 --> 00:10:56,486 Why would she come, if we didn't invite her? 116 00:10:56,737 --> 00:10:59,017 So Grandpa invited her? 117 00:10:59,523 --> 00:11:01,095 That's why I'm wondering. 118 00:11:01,346 --> 00:11:04,822 Since the glasses are celebratory, what we're celebrating? 119 00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,509 Actually, I'm a detective in our family. 120 00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,306 You got me, little bastards. 121 00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:25,619 My children. 122 00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:30,319 Life goes on. 123 00:11:31,531 --> 00:11:33,142 Things change. 124 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,452 But we have all exactly the same. 125 00:11:36,306 --> 00:11:38,736 The same faces all the time. 126 00:11:38,987 --> 00:11:42,494 Dear faces, of course. But always the same. 127 00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:45,837 And it just came to my mind. 128 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:50,275 Should we think about addition? 129 00:11:51,023 --> 00:11:52,523 No. 130 00:11:52,774 --> 00:11:56,654 We'll have to train a newbie, raise him. I don't want to. I want to live for myself. 131 00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:02,273 Grandpa, the fourth glass is not for Olga, right? 132 00:12:09,281 --> 00:12:14,416 Please meet the new member of our family. 133 00:12:16,314 --> 00:12:18,095 Evgeniy. 134 00:12:18,891 --> 00:12:22,595 - He's a little... I don't know. - Too young? 135 00:12:23,302 --> 00:12:25,349 Guys like him are brought to me after the New Year. 136 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,271 And to me. 137 00:12:34,484 --> 00:12:36,119 You don't smoke? Good or you! 138 00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:40,134 Slight scoliosis. 139 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:43,984 - You're a programmer? - Blogger. 140 00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:47,258 Student at the College of Motor Vehicles. 141 00:12:48,305 --> 00:12:52,158 Grandpa, no disrespect, why do we need a blogger from party school? 142 00:12:53,032 --> 00:12:54,555 College. 143 00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:56,819 We need him, because... 144 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,416 Because what? 145 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:02,383 - Because he's the chosen one! - The chosen one? 146 00:13:02,976 --> 00:13:04,491 Excuse me, for what? 147 00:13:05,281 --> 00:13:07,025 We'll see! 148 00:13:07,276 --> 00:13:09,859 Stop examining him like a horse for sale! 149 00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:12,189 Come on, son, let's celebrate our meeting! 150 00:13:28,197 --> 00:13:29,891 This is your first time. 151 00:13:30,718 --> 00:13:36,330 - Just imagine it's juice. - Human juice. 152 00:13:37,123 --> 00:13:38,837 Bite your tongue, Jean. 153 00:13:39,835 --> 00:13:42,909 Just close your eyes and take a sip. 154 00:13:45,453 --> 00:13:47,206 Come on. 155 00:13:50,304 --> 00:13:53,081 And again. 156 00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:08,299 Fangs?! 157 00:14:09,046 --> 00:14:10,729 Fangs! 158 00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:17,469 Fangs! Real ones! 159 00:14:27,874 --> 00:14:29,486 Why am I reflected in the mirror? 160 00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:32,432 And blood. You killed someone, didn't you? 161 00:14:32,683 --> 00:14:35,659 How much blood can we drink at a time? And why do we live in a daytime? 162 00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:38,549 - Why don't we burn in the sun? - No, I'm out. 163 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,971 Remember the most important thing. 164 00:14:43,726 --> 00:14:47,398 - You don't kill anyone. - What? Where will I get blood? 165 00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:55,612 Here. You open the fridge and take it. 166 00:14:55,863 --> 00:14:57,510 Our doctor brings it from work. 167 00:14:58,096 --> 00:15:01,373 But... I've seen it in movies! Vampires hunt... 168 00:15:01,624 --> 00:15:03,718 What movies have you seen? 169 00:15:03,976 --> 00:15:05,815 Documentaries? 170 00:15:06,066 --> 00:15:09,737 - Listen to me carefully. - Okay. 171 00:15:09,988 --> 00:15:12,401 We don't sleep upside down. 172 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,203 We reflect in the mirror. 173 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:21,330 And most importantly: we don't kill anyone. Don't kill anyone! 174 00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:23,323 Understand? 175 00:15:24,718 --> 00:15:26,299 So... 176 00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:32,195 is this your house, then? - Did you expect a Gothic castle? 177 00:15:32,546 --> 00:15:34,112 No, but... 178 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:37,502 Do you actually live here? 179 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:40,468 I thought you rented this barn to cover. 180 00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:44,057 It's not a barn, it's a nice apartment. 181 00:15:44,308 --> 00:15:45,971 Fashionable, I'd say. 182 00:15:46,222 --> 00:15:51,203 Better tell me, are you a prince so you're studying at your party school? 183 00:15:51,719 --> 00:15:53,244 Wanker! 184 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,601 You'll get used to this place! 185 00:15:57,617 --> 00:16:01,664 I'm used to my dorm. So, thanks, I... 186 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,479 Remember, Zhenya. 187 00:16:06,312 --> 00:16:08,323 You're a vampire now. 188 00:16:09,023 --> 00:16:11,526 And this is your home, Zhenya. 189 00:16:15,703 --> 00:16:17,487 Okay, I get it. 190 00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:22,430 - Do you even have a bathroom? - Of course. 191 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:27,734 Turn left, then right down the hallway and take left again. 192 00:16:28,312 --> 00:16:30,112 Okay, thanks. 193 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,596 Don't ask me anything. 194 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,299 All things will come in due time. 195 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,619 Is that the front door? 196 00:16:42,031 --> 00:16:44,664 - Is there anyone here? - I think there's already no one. 197 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,518 He's gone! What a loafer, huh? 198 00:16:56,769 --> 00:16:59,744 Loafer. I thought, he's a chosen one? 199 00:17:03,679 --> 00:17:05,796 Why not? 200 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:09,547 Think about it! What are you hoping for? 201 00:17:09,798 --> 00:17:12,579 Do you think the appeals board will reverse the court's decision? 202 00:17:12,836 --> 00:17:14,401 Yeah, sure... 203 00:17:20,768 --> 00:17:23,835 I finished this series with Kozlovsky yesterday. "Karamora". 204 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,946 - Agree to the payments... - I watch it too! 205 00:17:26,197 --> 00:17:29,252 - And this is an alternate reality... - I'm telling you, say yes... 206 00:17:29,503 --> 00:17:32,416 Crazy! If I were in one of those... It's a nightmare. 207 00:17:44,612 --> 00:17:46,336 Open your peepers! 208 00:17:47,909 --> 00:17:49,580 Are you shittin' me, brat?! 209 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:53,351 Hey! Are you shittin' me? Come here, now! 210 00:18:02,088 --> 00:18:04,127 What the hell! 211 00:18:17,385 --> 00:18:19,932 Hi, Masha. 212 00:18:21,885 --> 00:18:24,440 - Let's go talk? - I'm busy. 213 00:18:25,518 --> 00:18:28,307 Come on, Masha. Go and talk. He doesn't bite. 214 00:18:31,323 --> 00:18:33,838 Masha, really. Let's talk. I'll explain everything to you. 215 00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:36,492 I don't want to. I'm cold. 216 00:18:37,682 --> 00:18:39,213 Are you cold? 217 00:18:39,464 --> 00:18:42,604 Let's get in the car to warm up. It's around the corner. 218 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,252 Get your hands off her, freak! 219 00:18:48,385 --> 00:18:50,315 - Yegor, don't touch him. - What? 220 00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:53,737 What did you say? 221 00:19:18,429 --> 00:19:20,234 Come on, Masha! 222 00:19:21,609 --> 00:19:23,218 Are you insane?! 223 00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:25,554 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. 224 00:19:27,593 --> 00:19:30,643 Damn! Stay away from me! 225 00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:45,619 I think I broke a rib. 226 00:19:47,992 --> 00:19:50,455 Calm down! I'm a doctor. 227 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,127 What? 228 00:20:40,929 --> 00:20:42,627 Nothing. 229 00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:46,393 Look, I wanted to ask you something. 230 00:20:47,297 --> 00:20:49,526 What did you do when you quit smoking? 231 00:20:50,976 --> 00:20:53,470 - I ate sunflower seeds. - Sunflower seeds? 232 00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:25,898 Karamora. 233 00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,632 Remember. 234 00:22:33,289 --> 00:22:35,203 Hunger is the vampire's enemy. 235 00:22:36,413 --> 00:22:38,906 Hunger makes us do stupid things. 236 00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:42,828 But we need to be smart. Or we'll be in trouble. 237 00:22:43,202 --> 00:22:46,297 Who can do anything to us? 238 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,046 I've never felt so strong. 239 00:22:54,132 --> 00:22:57,718 There is a power stronger than we are. 240 00:22:59,147 --> 00:23:00,772 Werewolves? 241 00:23:02,843 --> 00:23:04,609 How do you know? 242 00:23:08,281 --> 00:23:10,727 I worked it out. I'm not that dumb. 243 00:23:11,577 --> 00:23:14,219 Well, if you're not that dumb, clean up after yourself. 244 00:23:15,578 --> 00:23:21,070 The power we obey is a contract. 245 00:23:21,321 --> 00:23:26,109 The contract between humans and vampires. 246 00:23:26,889 --> 00:23:28,617 I haven't heard anything about it. 247 00:23:28,868 --> 00:23:32,499 - So we're doing a good job of keeping it. - This is nonsense. 248 00:23:33,133 --> 00:23:37,031 How can you keep a contract with humans if they don't know anything about you? 249 00:23:37,305 --> 00:23:39,812 'Cause we have it only with the Keepers. 250 00:23:40,632 --> 00:23:43,117 Oh, look, you're getting into it. 251 00:23:43,617 --> 00:23:46,632 Parenting is such a thing... 252 00:23:48,289 --> 00:23:49,835 Come here! 253 00:23:52,593 --> 00:23:55,226 We have two commandments. 254 00:23:56,203 --> 00:24:00,531 The first one is: people mustn't know anything about vampires. 255 00:24:02,711 --> 00:24:04,492 The second one. 256 00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:09,015 Vampire never kills a human being. 257 00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:13,851 But there is also a third commandment. 258 00:24:17,101 --> 00:24:20,593 Never listen to an older vampire with such a long face. 259 00:24:24,273 --> 00:24:27,609 So we're like a family? 260 00:24:30,304 --> 00:24:31,913 Finally. 261 00:24:33,391 --> 00:24:34,913 Then lend me 70 000. 262 00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:41,218 How much is it? Is it a lot? 263 00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:55,906 - I see. Okay, bye! - Bye. 264 00:24:56,157 --> 00:24:59,632 - Hi. Masha, wait, please. - Are you an idiot? 265 00:24:59,883 --> 00:25:01,632 I told you to leave me alone. 266 00:25:02,890 --> 00:25:04,812 This is for you. 267 00:25:05,312 --> 00:25:07,406 And, again, I'm sorry. 268 00:25:11,866 --> 00:25:15,413 - Is this the new one? - Yes, but not the latest. 269 00:25:17,008 --> 00:25:18,663 Thanks. 270 00:25:19,062 --> 00:25:20,992 Where did you sleep? 271 00:25:21,397 --> 00:25:23,210 Did you miss me? 272 00:25:23,461 --> 00:25:26,218 Dormitory head did. She was looking for you. 273 00:25:26,469 --> 00:25:28,921 They're kicking you out of the dorm for fighting. 274 00:25:29,203 --> 00:25:31,781 Really? Whatever. 275 00:25:32,679 --> 00:25:35,211 I wanted to get out of this asylum anyway. 276 00:25:36,109 --> 00:25:38,148 I have an apartment downtown now. 277 00:25:48,435 --> 00:25:50,546 Why does he need so much money? 278 00:25:50,999 --> 00:25:52,913 He gave his girlfriend a new phone. 279 00:25:53,195 --> 00:25:56,570 Phone? For 70,000? Is he stupid? 280 00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:58,906 Grandpa, times are tough. 281 00:25:59,585 --> 00:26:02,359 But you may be right, though. 282 00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:06,351 - So where is this lady's man now? - He's coming. 283 00:26:06,602 --> 00:26:08,312 With a Christmas tree. 284 00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:12,406 What Christmas tree? Why? 285 00:26:12,999 --> 00:26:14,734 Well, maybe, 'cause it's New Year's Eve? 286 00:26:24,132 --> 00:26:27,459 Why do you look so sour? I brought you a Christmas tree! Like it? 287 00:26:27,710 --> 00:26:29,577 - It's fantastic! - Oh, Lord... 288 00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:31,884 Move aside! 289 00:26:32,135 --> 00:26:34,751 Pip-pip! 290 00:26:40,703 --> 00:26:42,353 On the other hand... 291 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,337 He didn't spend all his pennies on a girl. He took care of us, too. 292 00:26:46,588 --> 00:26:50,103 Why does he need the Christmas tree? We're not celebrating. 293 00:26:51,492 --> 00:26:56,063 Why not? It's been a long time since holidays mattered to us. 294 00:26:56,507 --> 00:27:01,876 But he has to smoothly move from human to vampire life. 295 00:27:02,530 --> 00:27:04,954 He's a good kid. Really good. 296 00:27:14,742 --> 00:27:16,556 What's going on here? 297 00:27:26,234 --> 00:27:29,025 Look. Amazing! 298 00:27:30,695 --> 00:27:32,423 Where are your ornaments? 299 00:27:33,889 --> 00:27:37,165 Mine stayed somewhere in 1812. 300 00:27:37,804 --> 00:27:41,181 - I never had any. - Why? 301 00:27:41,486 --> 00:27:44,891 Because the Christmas tree decorating is a temporary tradition. 302 00:27:45,509 --> 00:27:49,407 It appeared like 300 years ago, and in 100 years it will disappear. 303 00:27:50,711 --> 00:27:52,525 I had them somewhere. 304 00:27:55,329 --> 00:27:57,672 Look for them, child. 305 00:28:00,258 --> 00:28:02,291 She's our youngest one. 306 00:28:03,104 --> 00:28:05,221 Still keeping all her stuff. 307 00:28:08,210 --> 00:28:09,729 Here. 308 00:28:22,812 --> 00:28:24,952 It doesn't look very festive. 309 00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:26,968 It depends on what holiday it is. 310 00:28:27,343 --> 00:28:29,656 If it's, for example, the Day of Leprosy Treatment... 311 00:28:34,992 --> 00:28:37,296 Okay. I'll be right back. 312 00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:41,063 You don't have to follow me. 313 00:28:41,438 --> 00:28:43,117 I'll be fine! Won't be long. 314 00:28:47,562 --> 00:28:49,062 Well, children. 315 00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:53,531 Since we're going to celebrate the New Year, 316 00:28:54,015 --> 00:28:56,101 why don't we play bingo? 317 00:28:57,625 --> 00:28:59,210 Oh, come on. 318 00:29:00,289 --> 00:29:03,281 - We haven't played in 15 years or so? - Well, it's more fun! 319 00:29:07,351 --> 00:29:11,421 TAKE A DEEP BREATH 320 00:29:14,780 --> 00:29:18,234 - Hello? - Hello! Do you believe in God? 321 00:29:19,023 --> 00:29:20,898 Do you think it's funny? 322 00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:23,156 Well, entertaining at least. 323 00:29:23,414 --> 00:29:25,632 You just have an atrophied sense of humor. 324 00:29:25,923 --> 00:29:28,218 Atrophy means swallowing from the ancient Greek. 325 00:29:28,469 --> 00:29:30,150 And I'm fed to the teeth with your humor. 326 00:29:30,883 --> 00:29:32,439 You're so boring, Jean. 327 00:29:32,976 --> 00:29:34,556 I'll come by for blood today. 328 00:29:34,807 --> 00:29:38,783 - Happy holidays! - When? Hello? Olga? 329 00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:45,806 If anyone can ruin a holiday, then this woman is out of competition. 330 00:29:46,290 --> 00:29:48,251 Jean, look. 331 00:29:48,502 --> 00:29:54,142 Since your adder is coming over anyway, why don't you ask her to bring ornaments? 332 00:29:54,538 --> 00:29:57,617 Countess has more interesting ones. 333 00:29:57,868 --> 00:29:59,564 Hell no. 334 00:30:20,503 --> 00:30:23,815 All right! Stop, children, it's time. 335 00:30:24,492 --> 00:30:26,425 May I...? 336 00:30:29,412 --> 00:30:31,792 "Growth", "growth", "growth". 337 00:30:32,117 --> 00:30:35,406 - Grandpa, you wrote it three times. - This is my bet. 338 00:30:36,604 --> 00:30:39,414 - Very brave! - May I too? 339 00:30:42,585 --> 00:30:45,184 What? "Economic"? 340 00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:48,290 That's too much. Excuse me. 341 00:30:48,541 --> 00:30:51,221 Anyway. What are we playing for? 342 00:30:52,299 --> 00:30:54,447 As always. A wish. 343 00:31:00,096 --> 00:31:01,783 Here. 344 00:31:11,592 --> 00:31:15,635 Why did you bring this New Year's puke here? 345 00:31:16,078 --> 00:31:17,846 To set the mood of course. 346 00:31:18,890 --> 00:31:21,064 New Year Eve can't be without salad and tangerines. 347 00:31:21,502 --> 00:31:23,088 Wait. 348 00:31:26,702 --> 00:31:28,447 Damn. Fuck! 349 00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:30,541 I'll clean it up. 350 00:31:30,921 --> 00:31:36,101 I see. He is chosen to cause us endless troubles. 351 00:32:04,916 --> 00:32:07,266 Why are you yelling here? 352 00:32:07,617 --> 00:32:09,940 - She bit me! - Is he a vampire? 353 00:32:10,203 --> 00:32:13,221 Now you know each other. Did you bring ornaments? 354 00:33:54,898 --> 00:33:58,555 Jesus Christ! We almost missed it! Annushka, turn on the TV! 355 00:33:59,377 --> 00:34:01,713 Jean, pour the glasses. 356 00:34:02,188 --> 00:34:04,900 So we'll toast at chime of bells. 357 00:34:25,736 --> 00:34:27,729 - What's going on? - Bingo. 358 00:34:28,890 --> 00:34:30,627 Bingo? 359 00:34:32,093 --> 00:34:35,408 - Dear compatriots! - Yes, "compatriots"! 360 00:34:35,659 --> 00:34:38,301 - Despite a very difficult year... - I thought he'd say "Russians". 361 00:34:38,676 --> 00:34:40,791 It saw strong economic growth... 362 00:34:41,042 --> 00:34:43,664 - "Economic"! - "Growth"! 363 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,713 We live in a turbulent, dynamic, contradictory time. 364 00:34:46,964 --> 00:34:49,546 - "Time". - I also have "time". 365 00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:52,828 - Growth of our state. - Another "growth"! 366 00:34:54,619 --> 00:34:58,641 Bright and festive feelings have been living in us since childhood. 367 00:34:59,008 --> 00:35:03,164 We go back to every New Year's Eve, when we embrace our loved ones. 368 00:35:03,422 --> 00:35:06,549 And decorate the Christmas tree with them. 369 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,275 These sometimes old, but beloved family ornaments 370 00:35:10,526 --> 00:35:13,713 give their warmth to the younger generations. 371 00:35:14,604 --> 00:35:19,229 May happiness and understanding forever be in your home. 372 00:35:19,619 --> 00:35:24,863 May your parents be in good health and always feel your attention. 373 00:35:25,114 --> 00:35:28,785 And every child knows, that he is the most beloved. 374 00:35:29,313 --> 00:35:31,246 The New Year is already here. 375 00:35:31,497 --> 00:35:37,430 We wish each other and our motherland peace, prosperity and economic growth. 376 00:35:38,316 --> 00:35:41,261 - Happy New Year! - "Growth". Three times. 377 00:35:41,512 --> 00:35:43,535 Okay, Grandpa. Come on, calm down. 378 00:35:44,081 --> 00:35:45,808 Chimes! 379 00:35:50,894 --> 00:35:54,019 Well, children. Happy New Year! 380 00:35:55,710 --> 00:35:57,254 Happiness in the New Year! 381 00:35:58,683 --> 00:36:02,246 - Cheers! - Happy New Year! 382 00:36:14,203 --> 00:36:17,098 All right! Let's check our results! 383 00:36:19,281 --> 00:36:22,411 - How much do you have - One, two, three, four... 384 00:36:22,688 --> 00:36:24,887 - Nine. - I have eight. 385 00:36:25,138 --> 00:36:27,801 And I have 12. 386 00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:29,816 "Growth" thing worked! 387 00:36:30,210 --> 00:36:33,590 Nothing has changed in this speech in the last 50 years. 388 00:36:36,390 --> 00:36:38,215 No, Countess. 389 00:36:39,115 --> 00:36:42,265 There were no such words as "threat", 390 00:36:43,117 --> 00:36:46,527 "death", or "cut costs to the bone". 391 00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:49,082 So it's not that bad. 392 00:36:50,843 --> 00:36:56,480 To be honest, vampires have never lived as well as they have under Putin. 393 00:36:56,731 --> 00:36:59,933 I don't know about other people. 394 00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:02,899 It's hard for people under any government. 395 00:37:11,515 --> 00:37:15,926 Polina, do you know what Santa Claus was like in his childhood? Frost Boy! 396 00:37:16,379 --> 00:37:18,363 I can't watch it anymore. 397 00:37:20,023 --> 00:37:22,808 What? Why did you turn it off? 398 00:37:23,187 --> 00:37:25,933 The concert will start now. 399 00:37:26,184 --> 00:37:29,137 At least we'll know what young people are listening to today. 400 00:37:30,007 --> 00:37:33,199 On New Year's Eve there are always old songs on TV. 401 00:37:36,702 --> 00:37:38,574 Who the hell is this? 402 00:37:38,832 --> 00:37:41,926 Grandpa Slava, don't get up! I'll get it. 403 00:37:42,740 --> 00:37:44,340 One second. 404 00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:47,332 What a good boy. 405 00:37:47,583 --> 00:37:49,539 "Don't get up, Grandpa, I'll get it!". 406 00:37:50,116 --> 00:37:52,383 - He's well-mannered. - But dumb, though. 407 00:37:53,594 --> 00:37:55,147 What's wrong with you? 408 00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:58,328 You are of noble blood, but such a nasty piece of work. 409 00:38:04,012 --> 00:38:05,941 This is Masha. 410 00:38:06,507 --> 00:38:09,441 - Hello. - This is my family. 411 00:38:09,866 --> 00:38:11,551 Nice to meet you. 412 00:38:16,906 --> 00:38:18,449 We are too! 413 00:38:20,137 --> 00:38:22,019 I have a toast! 414 00:38:22,391 --> 00:38:23,996 Toast! One second. 415 00:38:25,038 --> 00:38:26,671 Here. 416 00:38:29,715 --> 00:38:31,293 This is for you... 417 00:38:31,887 --> 00:38:34,672 - Can I have this red drink? - No, don't, honey. 418 00:38:35,023 --> 00:38:38,426 This is strong alcohol. It'll make you sick. 419 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:46,406 Well, toast. I mean... 420 00:38:52,093 --> 00:38:53,621 I love you. 421 00:38:54,968 --> 00:38:57,090 Thank you so much for coming. 422 00:38:57,426 --> 00:38:59,836 It really appreciate it. 423 00:39:00,094 --> 00:39:04,104 I don't have a luxury car, or a lot of money yet. 424 00:39:04,355 --> 00:39:08,707 But I have something that no one else can give you. 425 00:39:10,605 --> 00:39:12,367 I want to give you... 426 00:39:14,781 --> 00:39:16,437 forever! 427 00:39:21,105 --> 00:39:23,379 Masha, I'm a vampire. 428 00:39:28,797 --> 00:39:30,348 Bravo! 429 00:39:33,702 --> 00:39:35,238 Who are you studying for? 430 00:39:35,632 --> 00:39:37,745 Transport service specialist. 431 00:39:37,996 --> 00:39:43,137 This is a very important profession. It is in great demand. 432 00:39:43,388 --> 00:39:48,090 Wait. Masha, it's true. I'm a vampire. We're all vampires here! 433 00:39:48,621 --> 00:39:54,543 Yeah! Good thing we're not aliens like last time! 434 00:39:55,238 --> 00:39:57,301 We're all aliens here. 435 00:39:57,552 --> 00:40:01,609 Why are you doing this?! Masha, it's true, look! 436 00:40:03,593 --> 00:40:05,593 - You or me? - You do it. 437 00:40:09,523 --> 00:40:11,484 Did you kill her? 438 00:40:13,202 --> 00:40:15,921 Calm down! She'll wake up and won't remember anything. 439 00:40:16,172 --> 00:40:21,484 You. You broke the main law! 440 00:40:21,735 --> 00:40:23,602 I love her! 441 00:40:24,608 --> 00:40:26,515 Love loves silence. 442 00:40:27,078 --> 00:40:28,812 You can't shout about love. 443 00:40:29,515 --> 00:40:34,180 But if you ever say 444 00:40:34,688 --> 00:40:39,124 one more word about vampires again, wanker, 445 00:40:40,226 --> 00:40:43,439 I'll rip your rotten filthy tongue 446 00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:50,001 right out through your nostrils. 447 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,040 Zhenya, get the girl some water. 448 00:40:56,291 --> 00:40:57,812 - Come on. - Go. 449 00:40:58,063 --> 00:41:01,009 - Okay. - What a disaster! 450 00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:04,095 Well, we get our Romeo. What I want to know, 451 00:41:04,346 --> 00:41:08,408 is this transport service specialist 452 00:41:08,892 --> 00:41:10,717 has fallen in love, too? What does she think? 453 00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:12,830 - I'll find out. - Cool. 454 00:41:13,081 --> 00:41:15,126 Champagne make me so woozy. 455 00:41:15,377 --> 00:41:17,595 Snack while you drink, girl! 456 00:41:17,846 --> 00:41:20,837 Zhenya made salad, see? 457 00:41:22,085 --> 00:41:24,781 - Eat. - Thanks. That's enough. 458 00:41:30,314 --> 00:41:32,072 - Isn't it good? - It is! 459 00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:34,220 "So much sauce in here. 460 00:41:35,197 --> 00:41:37,446 He's such a crush. 461 00:41:37,697 --> 00:41:40,891 So intelligent, the jacket suits him so well. 462 00:41:41,994 --> 00:41:43,772 Well-built guy. 463 00:41:44,494 --> 00:41:47,281 I'd celebrate with him". 464 00:41:50,705 --> 00:41:57,241 Well, guys. You stay here, and we'll go talk about our own stuff. 465 00:41:58,796 --> 00:42:00,397 Enjoy your meal! 466 00:42:18,195 --> 00:42:20,632 How did he do that? 467 00:42:20,883 --> 00:42:24,256 There are lots of women, and he's got a crush on this bimbo. 468 00:42:24,507 --> 00:42:26,015 Maybe he's dumb after all? 469 00:42:28,811 --> 00:42:31,718 His love torments came at a very bad time. 470 00:42:32,343 --> 00:42:38,111 Sooner or later he's gonna say about us to that girl. 471 00:42:38,362 --> 00:42:40,212 So let's tell him the truth. 472 00:42:40,463 --> 00:42:42,642 That in spite of all these gifts, 473 00:42:42,893 --> 00:42:44,973 she was interested in the first man she met, Jean. 474 00:42:46,374 --> 00:42:49,368 I'm afraid this isn't an argument for his testosterone. 475 00:42:49,648 --> 00:42:52,079 Look. What if... For example! 476 00:42:53,094 --> 00:42:55,033 He'll see her with... 477 00:42:56,126 --> 00:42:59,025 - And all you want is... - Are you insane, Jean?! 478 00:42:59,276 --> 00:43:01,314 Look, this is not about me, okay? 479 00:43:05,704 --> 00:43:10,806 Put into his head that this skank 480 00:43:11,057 --> 00:43:14,040 is not an option for him. - That's not enough. 481 00:43:14,296 --> 00:43:16,025 Okay, I'll turn him away from this girl. 482 00:43:16,507 --> 00:43:18,212 But he'll meet the second one tomorrow. 483 00:43:18,687 --> 00:43:21,314 The day after tomorrow he'll bring a third. I know these guys. 484 00:43:21,695 --> 00:43:24,024 He needs to be so psychologically traumatized 485 00:43:24,275 --> 00:43:28,923 that he'll avoid all women for a while. 486 00:43:29,337 --> 00:43:31,728 - It's cruel. - Do you have any other options? 487 00:43:35,486 --> 00:43:41,111 Just don't put in his head that he likes men. Please. 488 00:44:16,095 --> 00:44:20,766 Real guts, you know! There was blood all over the place. 489 00:44:21,109 --> 00:44:23,509 Masha, can I talk to you for a minute? 490 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,306 - Privately. - Yeah, sure. 491 00:44:31,288 --> 00:44:34,087 Don't worry, it's just woman-to-woman talk. 492 00:44:43,249 --> 00:44:45,163 - Mary! - What? 493 00:44:47,475 --> 00:44:50,227 You have very beautiful eyes. 494 00:44:54,203 --> 00:44:56,038 Do you like Zhenya? 495 00:44:56,593 --> 00:44:59,202 - So-so. - Wrong answer. 496 00:44:59,804 --> 00:45:02,530 You like him. A lot. 497 00:45:03,265 --> 00:45:06,132 And now you'll call him over here, to make love to him. 498 00:45:06,383 --> 00:45:09,438 - Okay, honey? - Yes. 499 00:45:10,093 --> 00:45:13,094 But when he takes off his underwear, 500 00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:17,257 you'll laugh and say that he has too little jocks. 501 00:45:17,772 --> 00:45:21,178 - And you'll leave. Understand? - Yes. 502 00:45:21,514 --> 00:45:23,327 Good girl. 503 00:45:34,694 --> 00:45:37,038 - Where is Masha? - I ate her. 504 00:45:45,070 --> 00:45:47,249 You're such an adder. 505 00:45:47,773 --> 00:45:49,436 What did you put in her head? 506 00:45:50,601 --> 00:45:54,430 I don't know what, but I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. 507 00:46:00,578 --> 00:46:02,952 - There you are! - Shall we dance? 508 00:46:05,100 --> 00:46:07,348 Sure, but... 509 00:46:07,726 --> 00:46:09,890 But this is Annushka's room. 510 00:46:10,819 --> 00:46:12,453 So what? 511 00:46:20,602 --> 00:46:22,305 It's hot in here. 512 00:46:23,929 --> 00:46:26,805 Yeah, it is. 513 00:46:29,102 --> 00:46:32,235 But... Anyone could walk in here. 514 00:46:33,610 --> 00:46:35,321 Are you scared? 515 00:46:36,774 --> 00:46:38,336 No. 516 00:46:55,618 --> 00:46:59,219 I mean, I'm not that... 517 00:46:59,585 --> 00:47:02,305 Zhenya, I want you. 518 00:47:15,985 --> 00:47:17,735 Don't stop. 519 00:47:32,672 --> 00:47:34,930 Sorry, I can't. 520 00:47:44,007 --> 00:47:46,688 I didn't ask you to make me a vampire! 521 00:47:47,023 --> 00:47:48,711 I can't... 522 00:47:49,038 --> 00:47:52,297 Now I'm... I'm like an animal! 523 00:47:53,508 --> 00:47:55,102 I hate you! 524 00:47:57,491 --> 00:47:59,524 Something went wrong. 525 00:47:59,897 --> 00:48:01,610 What a disaster! 526 00:48:02,118 --> 00:48:04,617 A horse never goes straight up. 527 00:48:05,789 --> 00:48:08,233 A low hedge is easily leaped over. 528 00:48:08,484 --> 00:48:10,206 Masha, what happened? 529 00:48:10,675 --> 00:48:12,768 He ran away. I didn't have time to laugh, 530 00:48:13,019 --> 00:48:16,886 or tell him he had a little jocks... 531 00:48:18,804 --> 00:48:21,323 - You're a scary woman. - Thanks. 532 00:48:23,987 --> 00:48:25,714 What a dream! 533 00:48:29,692 --> 00:48:31,411 Lord... 534 00:48:43,309 --> 00:48:46,180 Everyone comes here when something happens. 535 00:48:47,379 --> 00:48:50,145 Both believers and atheists. Everyone. 536 00:48:51,122 --> 00:48:53,692 Are you going to always follow me in this f*** town? 537 00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:56,223 Don't insult the city! 538 00:48:56,474 --> 00:49:00,692 I'm going to follow you until you learn acting normally. 539 00:49:00,943 --> 00:49:05,069 Normally? Normally. Is it normal that I wanted her blood? 540 00:49:05,328 --> 00:49:07,637 Not her, but her blood, understand? 541 00:49:07,888 --> 00:49:10,904 I do. I really do. 542 00:49:11,468 --> 00:49:12,991 Why then? 543 00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,051 Why did you do this to me? 544 00:49:15,484 --> 00:49:19,007 What a generation! It's always someone else's fault! 545 00:49:19,390 --> 00:49:21,426 It's not me, it's this, this. This! 546 00:49:22,008 --> 00:49:25,075 And I remember everything. You were walking there... 547 00:49:25,326 --> 00:49:28,895 Sharp chevy chase, headphones bigger than your head. 548 00:49:29,209 --> 00:49:31,903 Didn't your parents taught you? When you come to the road, 549 00:49:32,154 --> 00:49:35,137 make sure there are no cars. Look to the left, and then to the right. 550 00:49:35,388 --> 00:49:37,724 Then cross the road. But no, you didn't see anything! 551 00:49:37,974 --> 00:49:40,242 You were going like a bull at a gate! 552 00:49:40,523 --> 00:49:43,684 So what? You got hit by a minibus? 553 00:49:44,336 --> 00:49:50,387 What if it's a divine intervention that I was in the minibus? 554 00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:56,301 You have to understand, Zhenya. It's not my fault that you died. 555 00:49:57,817 --> 00:50:01,676 But it's my fault that you'll live forever. I'm sorry about that. 556 00:50:02,726 --> 00:50:04,278 What if I won't forgive you? 557 00:50:04,655 --> 00:50:09,359 Then I'll rip your head off right here 558 00:50:09,781 --> 00:50:13,200 and it'll end the way it was supposed to end. 559 00:50:13,451 --> 00:50:15,536 Appreciate what you have! 560 00:50:15,787 --> 00:50:18,645 Listen, what if I gave you a chance! 561 00:50:18,896 --> 00:50:23,751 To see these farting cars will fly! 562 00:50:24,002 --> 00:50:25,549 - Like fly? - Yes! 563 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,494 Fly! Life, Zhenya, is such a thing. 564 00:50:29,745 --> 00:50:31,419 It's... 565 00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:33,857 Do you see the bridge? The bridge! 566 00:50:34,687 --> 00:50:37,341 - So? - Concrete bridge. 567 00:50:38,115 --> 00:50:45,375 Do you even know what this is? Concrete bridge. 568 00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:50,935 But 150 years ago there nothing 569 00:50:51,186 --> 00:50:55,109 but wet dirt up to the neck. And now there's a bridge! 570 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:59,359 And it's only been 150 years. 571 00:50:59,610 --> 00:51:01,884 This is evolution. This is progress! 572 00:51:02,693 --> 00:51:06,148 And it won't be long before 573 00:51:06,399 --> 00:51:10,859 you and I can see this city, that you're insulting so much. 574 00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:13,048 - Do you know what it's going to be like? - What? 575 00:51:13,299 --> 00:51:16,174 - What? - What it's going to be like?! 576 00:51:17,968 --> 00:51:19,542 I don't know. 577 00:51:20,890 --> 00:51:22,620 We can see together. 578 00:51:24,523 --> 00:51:26,073 Come on. 579 00:51:26,601 --> 00:51:28,128 Choose. 580 00:51:33,182 --> 00:51:34,711 - Happy New Year! - Happy New Year! 581 00:51:36,284 --> 00:51:38,206 Happy New Year! 582 00:51:47,979 --> 00:51:51,266 Easy-easy! Good boy. 583 00:51:51,517 --> 00:51:53,112 It's okay. 584 00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:55,128 And remember. 585 00:51:55,413 --> 00:51:59,745 Remember. In any situation, always choose life. 586 00:52:00,221 --> 00:52:05,379 Right. When you learn how to control hunger, 587 00:52:05,684 --> 00:52:08,307 then you'll have a lot of fun with women. 588 00:52:08,558 --> 00:52:12,601 CHOOSE LIFE PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON 589 00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:16,352 Ask Jean. He'll tell you everything. 590 00:52:32,547 --> 00:52:34,542 We're back. 591 00:52:35,186 --> 00:52:37,448 - So? - What? 592 00:52:37,898 --> 00:52:39,956 Where did you find him? 593 00:52:40,207 --> 00:52:42,151 How did it go? How did it end? 594 00:52:44,799 --> 00:52:46,729 I'll tell you in detail. 595 00:52:48,804 --> 00:52:50,432 It's okay! 596 00:53:01,382 --> 00:53:03,393 Why are you sitting here with such long faces? 597 00:53:03,932 --> 00:53:05,674 I'll turn... 598 00:53:10,206 --> 00:53:12,328 Now it's a lot more fun. 599 00:53:19,014 --> 00:53:20,635 Power went out in the neighborhood too. 600 00:53:22,819 --> 00:53:24,460 Tragic! 601 00:53:29,930 --> 00:53:33,206 It's true what they say, 602 00:53:34,070 --> 00:53:35,945 how fast you get used to a good thing. 603 00:53:36,196 --> 00:53:39,495 It's been 100 years, and it's hard to do without electricity. 604 00:53:39,909 --> 00:53:44,760 Let's go outside! There are lights. It's fun. 605 00:53:45,104 --> 00:53:47,917 And here is comfort and nice people. 606 00:53:48,168 --> 00:53:49,972 Come on, my phone is about to die. 607 00:53:50,695 --> 00:53:53,948 I wish we were in a castle somewhere. Hang out there. 608 00:53:54,413 --> 00:53:56,214 And we sit in the barn by candlelight. 609 00:53:56,882 --> 00:54:02,768 Not in the barn. In a fancy apartment in the center of great city. 610 00:54:03,143 --> 00:54:04,846 With all comforts! 611 00:54:05,156 --> 00:54:11,453 He hasn't lived with us for a day yet, and he's already so annoying... 612 00:54:11,711 --> 00:54:14,234 just like... Why are you smiling? 613 00:54:14,485 --> 00:54:17,296 Just like you! That's how he pisses me off! 614 00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:20,327 Screw you. 615 00:54:21,031 --> 00:54:22,788 For God's sake. Okay! 616 00:54:23,210 --> 00:54:26,687 You'll have a castle and lights. 617 00:54:26,938 --> 00:54:28,741 As you want. 618 00:54:32,022 --> 00:54:33,616 Hello? 619 00:54:34,273 --> 00:54:35,820 Hello, dear! 620 00:54:37,133 --> 00:54:40,055 There's a new addition to our family! 621 00:54:40,593 --> 00:54:44,063 It's a boy! He's average. 622 00:54:44,507 --> 00:54:46,140 About 60 kilograms. 623 00:54:47,577 --> 00:54:49,132 Okay. 624 00:54:49,695 --> 00:54:52,796 We're going to visit my friend. 625 00:54:53,296 --> 00:54:56,999 Nuh, I have firework burns, alcohol-related hypothermia tomorrow. 626 00:54:57,413 --> 00:54:59,749 Well, I'll have a holiday stabbing. 627 00:55:01,414 --> 00:55:08,960 I'm just reminding you that after the bingo, you owe me the wish. 628 00:55:51,922 --> 00:55:55,708 So what? Do you like this shack? 629 00:55:57,091 --> 00:55:59,927 Holy shit! 630 00:56:00,685 --> 00:56:04,700 Holy f*** shit! 631 00:56:20,888 --> 00:56:23,141 Stop! Let's do it again. 632 00:56:48,585 --> 00:56:52,739 Svyatoslav Vernidubovich! I really appreciate your coming! 633 00:56:53,497 --> 00:56:56,856 Annushka, my beauty. Berets suit you as always. 634 00:56:57,107 --> 00:56:58,661 Thank you, Maximilian. 635 00:56:59,084 --> 00:57:02,122 Countess, you are as dazzling like a July afternoon. 636 00:57:02,373 --> 00:57:04,395 I'd say like a pillar of fire on Kupala's night. 637 00:57:04,881 --> 00:57:06,450 As you wish. 638 00:57:07,008 --> 00:57:11,614 Hello, Maximilian. Would you prefer me to speak French? 639 00:57:11,865 --> 00:57:16,919 What a pity. Your accent falls short of your sexual exploits. 640 00:57:17,170 --> 00:57:21,067 Two centuries were enough for you to almost forget your native language. 641 00:57:25,684 --> 00:57:27,325 What? 642 00:57:28,437 --> 00:57:30,310 Where's your newbie? 643 00:57:31,515 --> 00:57:33,540 Come here, disaster! 644 00:57:37,828 --> 00:57:39,415 Here. 645 00:57:39,780 --> 00:57:41,478 Hello! Evgeniy. 646 00:57:41,729 --> 00:57:43,399 Nice to meet you. Do you know me? 647 00:57:43,650 --> 00:57:45,447 Sure! On your YouTube show, 648 00:57:45,697 --> 00:57:47,574 there was a woman hitting on Valya Carnaval. 649 00:57:48,670 --> 00:57:51,376 This is further confirmation that television is dying. 650 00:57:52,499 --> 00:57:55,610 - Do you like it here? - This place is unreal! 651 00:57:55,861 --> 00:57:57,446 It's like I'm in a movie. 652 00:57:57,697 --> 00:57:59,290 This doors are great. 653 00:58:00,086 --> 00:58:02,946 - Antique? - It's 17th century. 654 00:58:03,218 --> 00:58:05,134 - 17th century? - I got it for next to nothing. 655 00:58:05,484 --> 00:58:07,759 - Do you know who made them? - No. Who? 656 00:58:08,010 --> 00:58:09,978 - Me. - Really? 657 00:58:10,229 --> 00:58:12,984 In the 17th century I served as a founder at the Novgorod temple. 658 00:58:13,702 --> 00:58:16,625 That's where I cast these doors. In bronze. 659 00:58:17,273 --> 00:58:19,134 Once I was on tour, 660 00:58:19,430 --> 00:58:22,243 and I saw an antique store. There were my doors. 661 00:58:22,494 --> 00:58:26,508 In an antique store! I bought my own doors after 3 centuries. 662 00:58:27,209 --> 00:58:29,946 - So you were the founder? - Yes. 663 00:58:30,375 --> 00:58:33,196 And I'm not one of those, you know, old people who say... 664 00:58:33,617 --> 00:58:37,859 "I'd live my life the same way, as I did the first time". 665 00:58:39,196 --> 00:58:42,813 Live a second chance differently. I was a blacksmith, a founder, 666 00:58:43,064 --> 00:58:45,025 a daguerreotypist... - Zootechnician. 667 00:58:45,276 --> 00:58:47,445 Zootechnician! And now I'm a celebrity. 668 00:58:47,696 --> 00:58:51,900 - People say I'm good at it. - But you were never a brilliant doctor. 669 00:58:56,502 --> 00:58:59,369 But I was the nice blacksmith, the talented founder, 670 00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:01,622 and the excellent daguerreotypist. - Zootechnician? 671 00:59:01,873 --> 00:59:04,852 Amazing one! Vivisection was my forte. I cut beyond doubt. 672 00:59:05,103 --> 00:59:07,994 As for the current profession, 673 00:59:08,788 --> 00:59:10,361 the result is evident. 674 00:59:11,797 --> 00:59:13,385 Here! 675 00:59:13,636 --> 00:59:16,440 This is how real vampires should live. 676 00:59:16,797 --> 00:59:21,104 Rich, spectacular, glamorous, with a lot of flair... 677 00:59:21,355 --> 00:59:24,156 Do you know how much the utilities alone cost? 678 00:59:25,578 --> 00:59:29,070 - And the heat supply? - I don't care, I'd live here in the cold. 679 00:59:29,687 --> 00:59:31,705 Then live, son. Live. 680 00:59:32,405 --> 00:59:37,064 Go ahead, make some money, buy a castle, and live. 681 00:59:37,315 --> 00:59:40,041 But I have only one question. 682 00:59:40,492 --> 00:59:42,697 Do you have any talent, 683 00:59:43,174 --> 00:59:45,533 or any skill, to live like this? 684 00:59:46,586 --> 00:59:48,229 Well... 685 00:59:50,976 --> 00:59:55,565 Look, could you tell me one thing? Like vampire to vampire. Honestly. 686 00:59:56,711 --> 00:59:59,268 How much would it cost to build such a house? 687 00:59:59,519 --> 01:00:01,947 - Shut up! Don't embarrass me... - It's okay. 688 01:00:03,422 --> 01:00:05,330 - 40 000. - Really? 40 000? 689 01:00:05,773 --> 01:00:07,315 Books to read. 690 01:00:07,797 --> 01:00:09,924 200 000 smart people to listen to. 691 01:00:10,460 --> 01:00:12,369 Make five hundred mistakes. 692 01:00:12,620 --> 01:00:14,861 And work. Eight hours a day. 693 01:00:15,112 --> 01:00:20,887 Do the math. 365 days by 8 hours, and by 300 years. How much is that? 694 01:00:21,138 --> 01:00:23,184 - Does he know how to count? - No idea. 695 01:00:26,077 --> 01:00:29,031 - Well? - That's a lot. 696 01:00:29,961 --> 01:00:31,562 Exactly. 697 01:00:33,286 --> 01:00:37,422 I'm sorry, I can't let you in. It's the middle of the night. 698 01:00:37,673 --> 01:00:40,825 Everyone's asleep. And, you know... 699 01:00:41,505 --> 01:00:44,598 - As always. - No, wait, I don't know. 700 01:00:45,801 --> 01:00:48,602 - He's dumb. - Oh, thanks for reminding me. 701 01:00:48,981 --> 01:00:51,085 I've got a little present for you. Just a minute. 702 01:00:52,309 --> 01:00:53,872 Oh no! 703 01:00:56,078 --> 01:00:58,356 I forgot about the present! 704 01:00:58,607 --> 01:01:03,382 Guys, do you have something that you don't need 705 01:01:03,633 --> 01:01:06,380 but Maximilian could use, huh? 706 01:01:19,903 --> 01:01:22,731 From the bottom of my heart. Here you go. 707 01:01:23,132 --> 01:01:25,656 It's the good one. Bulgarian. 708 01:01:26,148 --> 01:01:28,516 - Thanks! - Well, happy New Year! 709 01:01:29,046 --> 01:01:31,919 - Love you! - Thanks, happy New Year!! 710 01:01:40,617 --> 01:01:42,192 So what? 711 01:01:43,319 --> 01:01:44,942 Do you feel anything? 712 01:01:45,414 --> 01:01:47,020 Does he have a power? 713 01:01:47,601 --> 01:01:50,086 He's still young. I can't feel his power yet. 714 01:01:50,702 --> 01:01:53,729 But he has a bright energy. He's a good boy, very kind. 715 01:01:54,694 --> 01:01:56,408 He'll have an interesting life. 716 01:01:57,570 --> 01:02:00,252 Well, I hope also a long one? 717 01:02:03,304 --> 01:02:04,916 The interesting. 49106

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