Original subtitles

♪ Some walk by night ♪

♪ Some fly by day ♪

♪ Nothing could change you ♪

♪ Set and sure of the way ♪

♪ There is the sun and moon ♪

♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪

♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪

♪ Sharing one space ♪

♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪

♪ We'll fly by day ♪

♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪

♪ Who just met on the way ♪

You looking for something?

Get back to your workstation.

Aha.

It's not there!

He switched the numbers. You hear me? He switched the numbers!

- Morning, Miss DiPesto. - Morning, Miss Hayes.

Miss DiPesto, is everything all right?

All right?

Well, you seem a little, I don't know, down.

Down? Me? No, I'm not down.

All right.

Blue Moon Detective Agency.

If you're in trouble, if you're in a jam,

don't tell me, I don't give a damn.

Miss DiPesto, would you step into my office?

What for?

Right away, Miss Hayes.

You wanna tell me about it?

No.

- Nothing to tell. - Miss DiPesto, I saw you out there.

Miss Hayes, it's not something you'd understand.

It's just something I do. Something I go through.

Did something happen?

It's a new year, that's all. A new year.

At the beginning of every new year, I sit down and review my life.

- Well, that's a good thing to do. - Takes about a minute.

Oh...

I do the same thing each day, Miss Hayes.

- Excuse me? - My life...

it's nothing but the same thing, day after day.

I get up at the same time, 6:30.

I take the same bus, the number five.

I order the same doughnut when I get to work, jelly.

I answer the same phone, yours.

It's not a terrible life...

but it's not a soon-to-be major motion picture, either.

What about after work?

After work?

After work, there's me,

Pat Sajak, Vanna White, and the Wheel of Fortune.

- I hate my name. - DiPesto?

No, Agnes.

- You don't like DiPesto? - Me? No, I love DiPesto.

- I love Agnes. - Well, I hate it.

I've always wanted to be a Barbara... or an Elaine.

- I once knew a Barbara. She wasn't so-- - I hate having black hair.

- I didn't mean to depress you. - You didn't.

Yes, I did.

I better get back to my rut.

Okay, picked up the penguin suit--

Wouldn't it be awful to wake up every morning and know that every day

was going to be the same as the day you had before?

The polka shoes, too, but I'm telling you right now, I ain't doing no Bunny Hop.

- To know that every week is gonna be exactly the same... - 300 fat guys, fatter wives.

And a band whose idea of hot is playing "Born in the U.S.A." on the accordion.

- Answering the same phone. - Maddie, I have a terrible confession to make.

- I don't wanna go. - I couldn't do it. Go where?

Were you talking to me? What are you saying? You first.

What were you talking about?!

The California Investigators Association Annual Banquet and Ball.

- What are you talking about? - Miss DiPesto.

She's been acting very strangely.

- Really? How can you tell? - She's depressed, bored, sick of life.

- I'm really worried about her - Don't worry.

She's probably just having an attack of UMS.

- UMS? - Ugly Mood Swing.

A peculiarly feminine disease.

- About this banquet-- - Exactly!

What about this banquet? I don't wanna go.

- We're going. It's very important. - Important for what?

Okay, gives us a chance to fight in public, but what else?

- Business. - Business? Huh! Business what?

Now, the Annual Convention of Wife Cheaters,

that would be good for business, but other detectives?

- It'll be interesting. - It'll be boring!

The only thing that could liven up this shindig

is a strip-search demonstration with you as a volunteer.

Addison...

Thank you. I think.

- We're going. - Oh, come on, Maddie.

Being detectives is what we do all day, every day.

I don't wanna spend my free time--

- Say that again. -"That"?

David, you've just given me a wonderful idea.

That strip-search thing? I got a million of 'em.

How do you feel about barnyard animals?

Being detectives is what we do all day,

but it's not what Miss DiPesto does all day.

It's not what Miss DiPesto does at all.

Thank the Lord for small favors.

David, this could be exactly what she needs.

Are you suggesting sending DiPesto to this banquet?

David, there'll be other banquets for us, but Agnes...

how many banquets are in her future?

- All right, you convinced me. - I'll give DiPesto my ticket,

- and you can be her escort. - Wait a second!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Maddie, Maddie, we can't do that to Agnes.

- We can't? - Of course not. She shows up with me,

- it'll ruin her chances of meeting other men. - Think so?

Yes, I know so! Guys don't hit on other men's women.

It's like a rule, a code, like a--

- Honor among thieves? - It's exactly like that.

Maddie, Agnes has gotta be free to network...

chitchat, touch base, schmooze, knickknack, paddywhack,

give a dog a bone, if she wants a guy to roll her home.

- You might be right. - Might be? Am be. Definitely am be.

Maddie, it's time to let our little girl grow up.

So I vote no to the chaperone at the dance.

Give her the keys to the car,

and, hey, let's forego the curfew, huh?

- You think so? - Maddie...

I know this is very hard for you,

but there comes a time when you just have to let go.

David... let go!

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...

Miss DiPesto, I just had an idea.

You ought to get somebody to look at that throat, Maddie.

How would you like to go to a little soiree

with a bunch of private dicks and their Janes?

- Excuse me? - What Mr. Addison is trying to say

is I had an idea.

- Are you doing anything tonight? - She certainly is, she's going

to the California Investigators Association annual banquet and ball!

- I am? - You am.

But I don't have a date.

You don't need a date.

All you need's a ticket... and something to wear.

- Don't have that either. - But you will.

- I will? - You will.

Remember, no plunging necklines or patent-leather shoes.

Go!

♪ Tonight is all about you ♪

♪ Just go on and have what you want ♪

♪ And do anything that you like to ♪

♪ Oh, you don't even have to stop, no ♪

♪ You sparkle like diamonds ♪

♪ Yes, you do, no matter where you are ♪

♪ And you've got everyone's attention ♪

♪ Yeah, you're breakin' every heart, yeah ♪

♪ Wonder if you ever realize ♪

♪ It's yours for you to take, oh oh ♪

♪ Just let it show what you feel inside ♪

♪ Don't hold back, don't make 'em wait ♪

♪ Set the world on fire, it's your time ♪

♪ So do whatever you like, it's your night ♪

♪ You got the stars in your eyes ♪

♪ Let them shine ♪

♪ And set the world on fire ♪

♪ Light up the sky ♪

♪ You look good in the spotlight ♪

♪ Just go on and set yourself free ♪

Oh, Miss DiPesto.

♪ You've got the stars in your eyes ♪

♪ Let them shine ♪

♪ And set the world on fire ♪

Sir... you dropped something out of your wallet. Okay.

Some kind of jam-up up ahead. You mind if I let you out up here?

♪ I need to hold you closer now ♪

♪ My fate is in your hands ♪

♪ Dancing in the shadows ♪

♪ Got your picture in my mind ♪

♪ Waiting in the darkness underneath... ♪

Oh, my. Dance with me.

♪ I want to feel your touch ♪

♪ I want to see your face again ♪

Excuse me?

♪ I'm dancing in the shadows ♪

Dance with me.

♪ All alone, I'm dancing in the shadows ♪

♪ Once upon a time ♪

♪ Two people found a love so true ♪

♪ Ah hey ♪

♪ And as the story goes ♪

♪ They looked around... ♪ You have a name?

Yes.

What is it?

Oh.

It's...

...Elaine.

♪ Never can tell ♪

♪ How much you'll miss... ♪

Well, Elaine, I really appreciate this.

Do you work in town?

The Blue Moon Detective Agency. Why?

I wanna give you something.

Hold on to this number.

♪ Where in the world we'd find a greater love ♪

Elaine, how long can you hold your breath?

You mean like in scuba?

♪ But now a love that's here ♪

♪ To stay ♪

All right, this way.

♪ Found it hard to understand ♪

♪ Ooh hoo ooh ooh ♪

♪ We said goodbye... ♪

Elaine, thanks a lot.

Don't mention it.

So...

How'd it go?

Oh, Miss Hayes, it was nice.

Only nice, huh? You meet somebody?

Oh, boy, what a "body."

- Was he nice? - Nicer than nice.

At first I thought he'd made a mistake,

and he meant to come up to somebody else--

Morning, "chillun." What's the poop on the prom?

Miss DiPesto met a man at the banquet last night.

No kidding? Facial hair and everything? That explains the smile.

- The smile? - Yeah, you should try it sometime.

- Perfect cure for UMS. - UMS?

Urgently Missing Sex.

Excuse me, Miss Hayes. We'll talk at lunch?

I promise.

Blue Moon Detective Agency. Say your pooch hasn't yet come home?

Called his name and bought him a new bone?

Just give us a shot. Mad and Dave will find Spot and--

Elaine.

- How you doing, Elaine? - Could you call back?

- I need to talk to you. - You do?

You wanna go get something to eat?

- He's here! - Who's here?

- He's here. - He's here? Him?

- He wants to take me to lunch. - At a quarter after nine?

- Would it be okay? - Sure it'd be okay. Can I meet him?

Sure you can meet him!

Oof! Do me a favor-- call me Elaine.

Yoo-hoo. I'd like you to meet my employer.

- Madelyn Hayes. - Hello.

- Hi! - We've really gotta go.

- Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr., uh... - Likewise.

Miss DiPesto, have you seen my--

- Where is she going? - Lunch.

- That the guy from last night? - Mm-hmm.

- Big appetite. - What is that supposed to mean?

Come on, Maddie. A man, a woman.

- A nooner. - A what?

Or in this case, a niner.

This is nice.

This is different.

I never knew this was here.

They serve good food here?

- Listen, about last night... - That was something, huh?

I mean, I don't know what a guy like you was doing,

dancing with a girl like me, but--

Look... I appreciate what you did.

If you hadn't been so pleasant about everything...

I love to dance.

Only wish you hadn't disappeared so fast, though.

If you hadn't given me your number...

I was afraid I'd never see you again.

- I don't even know your name. - It's Kyle.

About that piece of paper.

The one with all the numbers on it.

I must have called it about 600 times.

I need it back.

The piece of paper, I need it back.

MAN Telephone call for Agnes DiPesto at the front desk.

- Telephone for Agnes DiPesto. - How about that?

Somebody's paging my sister. I'll be right back.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hello?

Excuse me, sir, are you sure somebody called me?

- There's nobody here. - Maybe they hung up.

Then why did they call me?

Maybe they're from that show, In Search of...

Between the time they called and you picked up the phone,

they found what they were looking for.

Uhh!

- Excuse me. - That's okay. I liked it.

- Don't scream. - Don't scream?

Uhh!

Mister? Please, come quickly, hurry.

- What seems to be the trouble, ma'am? - Please!

There's something wrong with my date.

Not much I can do about that.

No, you don't understand.

It's like he's dead, lifeless.

Some guys, average bowlers, you buy 'em their own balls...

No, I mean he's really dead!

And I came back from the phone and--

Oh, my goodness.

He was right there.

He had his head down on the table...

and he had a knife in his chest.

- Maybe he wandered off? - With a knife in his chest?

Oh, I don't think it was one of your knives.

- Out of my alley. - Why?

'Cause I don't want you here. Out of my alley.

Get out of here! My alley, get out!

- But there was a man murdered here. - Get out.

- Out! - There really was!

I'm telling you for the last time, get out of here.

You hear me? Get out!

So how'd you do? - Excuse me?

How'd you do? Bowling.

Not many people bowling at 9:45 in the morning.

Me? I bowled 188,

which is a significant improvement over my afternoon performance.

Part of a theory I have about morning versus afternoon versus evening--

physical performance in humans beings.

I've found mornings, across the board,

yield better results in overall physical activity.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Maybe our professional sporting teams

should play each other in the morning.

Maybe the team that comes from the latest time zone

has an unfair advantage!

And I'm not just talking about sports,

I'm talking about any activity

that requires physical exertion for a protracted period of time.

- You live around here? - Excuse me?

- Wanna go to your place? - You understand what I just told you?

It's only a theory.

- Now. - I'll get my rosin bag.

- This seems like a very nice place. - Thank you, I like it.

Direct-dial phone, in-room TV, queen-sized bed.

Direct-dial phone, huh?

Could you draw the drapes, please?

- Thank you. - Wanna watch some in-room TV?

Would you give me a hand with this thing?

A hand?

What is it exactly you wanna do with this?

Put it in front of the door.

It's gonna make it kind of tough to get the paper in the morning.

Um, listen, um...

I realize we hardly know each other,

but I was just-- uh, I mean, we are in my hotel room

moving furniture and all.

I was just kind of wondering, uh... what's your name?

- Agnes. - Douglas.

We're both S's.

Is someone chasing you?

Your husband?

- I'm not married. - Oh.

- Boyfriend? - I don't have a boyfriend.

- Not that I know of, anyway. - Oh.

Does this perhaps have something to do with your, uh, profession?

- What is it you do, Agnes? - I work for a detective agency.

- No kidding? - No kidding... I answer the phones.

Which is how I got into all this in the first place,

'cause I wasn't happy just answering the phones.

So my boss, Maddie Hayes,

gave me these tickets to go to this dance, and I met this guy.

Guy?

Don't worry. For one thing, I don't think I'm his type,

and for another, he's dead.

- Dead? - Dead.

If you're a woman, death after the first date

does not do a lot for your self-confidence.

What are you doing hanging around with people who die?

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about all that right now.

I'd really like to talk about something else.

So, what do you do?

Me?

I'm involved in the personal services industry.

- I sell shoes. - Shoes?

Shoes. Everybody needs 'em. Everybody uses 'em.

Everybody needs to replace 'em.

- Shoes. - Wow!

Yep. I help keep America on its feet.

That's on a poster where I work.

- Do you like it? - Shoes?

Well, you may not have noticed, but I'm kind of short. Low to the ground.

But for a shoe salesman, this is a big plus.

You're much closer to your product,

much closer to where your product's gonna be used.

It's sort of my destiny.

You know, this isn't how I thought it was gonna be at all.

When I told Miss Hayes that I wanted to do something exciting,

I thought it would all be less dangerous and more fun.

Why don't I give you something to drink.

Something to drink maybe.

Ooh!

You know what I should do?

I should try calling them.

I'll just tell them I'm here with you and--

Ohh!

Sorry, Agnes.

Hello?

What happened?

Did something happen?

Whatever it was, I didn't sleep through it, did I?

Nothing's happened.

I've just given you a shot of sodium pentathol.

- Truth serum. - Truth serum?

To relax you...

help you lose your inhibitions.

Help you clear your mind-- that's all.

Just listen to me, just think about what I'm asking you.

Douglas, I don't like this.

Here's the first question.

- Who do you work for? - Well, David Addison hired me,

but I really work for Maddie Hayes.

We all work for Maddie Hayes.

And who's Maddie Hayes?

Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?

It's important that you let me ask the questions, Agnes.

- You have a great mouth, too. - Thank you.

To the best of your knowledge, are either of them involved in espionage?

I just had a thought.

I bet you don't sell shoes for a living.

- Answer the question, Agnes. - No.

I mean, "No, to the best of my knowledge,

neither of them are involved in espionage."

Not, "No, I won't answer the question."

Now you say something nice about me.

- Excuse me? - It's your turn

to say something nice about me.

It is? Oh.

Um...

I like what you're doing with your hair there.

It's very different, very nice.

But I don't do anything with my hair.

So... you'd never met Kyle till he asked you to dance?

Kyle...

- What a gorgeous man. - Answer the question.

You sound angry. There's no reason to be angry.

I never met Kyle until he asked me to dance.

- Kyle danced great. - I know.

- I saw you. - You saw us?

- How could you have seen us? - I was there.

Kyle and I worked together. I was sort of his... boss.

Wait a second.

So when you bumped into me at the bowling alley--

I knew somebody was after him. I had to find out if it was you, if you were carrying a weapon.

Are you guys spies?

Better get your coat.

- Where you wanna go? - Straight to the top.

President of Blue Moon Detective Agencies.

No, I mean now. Here in this cab.

Do I have to go somewhere?

There are things I have to do. Work I have to attend to.

Don't worry, I'll see you again.

- You promise? - Absolutely.

Well...

Will one of you tell me if this is gonna go on for a while?

I'll start the meter.

- Why did you do that? - I couldn't help myself.

I understand that.

Now, where do you live?

Wow. This thing between us is really zipping along, isn't it?

No. I mean, so this man can drive you home.

- What's your address? - Oh, 6338 Hope Street.

Isn't that a wonderful name for a street? Hope Street.

That's why I moved there, because of the name.

Other than that, it isn't much of a place to live.

You're a very special woman, Agnes.

- Why have we stopped? - Red light.

- 2151 Sherwood Way. - Sorry, pal, I already have a fare.

That's okay, I don't mind sharing.

- Please. - Thank you.

Although I still think it was rude of you,

after I let you share my cab,

not to let me go where I wanted to go.

Stop that.

- Stop what? - That! That gibberish talk.

I don't believe it, and I don't believe you.

I know who you are.

You're Kyle's girl. Or you were.

And now you're Doug's. Doug's girl, Doug's contact.

- So give us the number. - What number?

The bundle number. The number of the bundle that contains the plans.

I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

We've been smuggling all sorts of plans out of High Castle Defense

in laundry bundles.

Your people figured out what we were doing

and planted a man here in the middle of the laundry.

- We did? - We found out abut it and killed your man,

but not before he was able to switch the bundle numbers

on some very important plans.

What makes you think I have this number?

The man who infiltrated us was Kyle.

And we know that Kyle passed the number on to you.

- He did? - At the dance.

Just like he was supposed to, just as you had planned it.

- Oh. - So, what is it?

I don't know.

- I don't know. - The number!

I don't know! I don't know! I don't know what happened!

Uh... uh...

Last night, I went to this reception.

A man asked me to dance.

This morning, he took me to coffee... and got killed.

This other man shot me with truth serum.

The two of you hijacked my cab.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know anything.

I'm nobody's contact. Nobody's girl.

I answer phones.

I'm a lady who answers phones!

Do you think I could use the facilities?

Let's not make a career of it.

How we doing in there?

Did you fall in?

Get back here, you!

Hey, you!

Here.

What good's a romantic hero

if he's not there when you need him?

- Doug! - Everything's gonna be fine.

Agnes, just stay calm. You're perfectly safe up there.

Doug!

Uhh!

Doug! Doug!

Doug!

Doug!

Uhh!

- Thanks! - Don't mention it.

Aah!

Oh... oh...

Oof!

Agnes! Are you okay?

Here we go again.

Thanks, Lou.

You know him?

Yeah. He works for me, too.

Agnes, what's that?

Oh.

Doug, don't get upset.

This is Kyle's phone number.

- He gave it to me last night. - Kyle's number?

And this laundry bundle is filled with plans?

Honest Injun.

Wow!

Agnes, you understand, you won't be able to tell anyone

about what went on today-- national security.

Oh. Yeah, no. National security.

I'm sorry you had to get involved.

You are?

Well...

Well...

Well...

You got any more of that truth stuff with you?

No.

Guess we'll have to do without.

Here she comes!

You know, I gotta be honest with you,

I never thought she had it in her.

David, we don't know what happened.

Come on, Maddie, she left for lunch 24 hours ago.

- She obviously had more than a tuna sandwich. - Will you stop?

Face it. Her nooner became an afternooner, which became a nighter,

which probably became an overnighter.

Morning, Miss Hayes. Morning, Mr. Addison.

Morning, Miss DiPesto.

Sorry I'm a little late. Actually, I'm a lot late.

Kind of missed yesterday, didn't I?

I stopped over at the cleaner's.

Oh...

You didn't have to do that.

- So? - So?

So?

Well, did you at least get a nice dinner out of it?

David.

I'll tell you something.

I missed you guys.

I missed this place... I missed that phone.

Life is pretty good.

Yeah...

Life is pretty good.

Does that mean she's not gonna share all the intimate details?

- We better get back to work. - But we don't have any work.

Of course we do. We have to talk to the writers

and get them to write bigger parts

- for next week's episode. - I'll buy that.

- Special delivery for an Agnes DiPesto. - I'm Agnes DiPesto.

Sign here.

Thank you.

Dear Agnes...

unfortunately, I had to leave Los Angeles this morning.

Of course, I can't tell you where I'm going,

and I can't tell you when I'll be back.

The truth is...

I can't tell you much of anything,

except... how terrific I think you are.

Thinking of you, Doug.

Bakery? Miss DiPesto at Blue Moon.

You know my usual jelly?

Make it a cruller.

♪ Some walk by night ♪

♪ Some fly by day ♪

♪ Nothing could change you ♪

♪ Set and sure of the way ♪

♪ There is the sun and moon ♪

♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪

♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪

♪ Sharing one space ♪

♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪

♪ We'll fly by day ♪

♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪

♪ Who just met on the way ♪