Original subtitles

♪ Some walk by night ♪

♪ Some fly by day ♪

♪ Nothing could change you ♪

♪ Set and sure of the way ♪

♪ There is the sun and moon ♪

♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪

♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪

♪ Sharing one space ♪

♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪

♪ We'll fly by day ♪

♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪

♪ Who just met on the way ♪

This has never happened to me before.

Well, that's happened to me before.

A lady walking up to me in a bar and saying what you said...

That's never happened to me before.

Well... I've never done that before.

Any chance that I can... see you again?

As I told you,

tomorrow I have to give up all my... worldly pleasures...

...all the worldly things.

Yeah. Okay.

But I don't know what that means.

Are you gonna become a nun or...

Are you gonna die?

Aww.

Can I at least know your name?

No.

This has never happened to me before.

Well, glory be.

I think it's going to happen again.

Give it to me.

You best leave.

Give it to me.

Oh, I hate this. I hate this. What are you? What are you?

- The husband? The father? - You best leave or harm will come to you.

- Oh, I hate this! - I said, give it to me!

This has never really happened to me before.

Look, I'm going. Okay?

I warned you.

May all the unblessed spirits of the night run wild

Hear the wail of the banshee

And the devil come and claim your soul

This man is dead.

I think we should do something.

Ich... am of Ireland.

And of the holy land Of Ireland.

Goode sir, pray ich.

For the scent of charity

Come and dance with me... and Ireland.

Un-huh.

Well, uh...

It has been fun.

This has never happened to me before.

Ooh, sometimes it's scary how smart I am.

- How what you are? - I'm sitting in my office.

It's 9:45, and I'm trying to figure out where to go for lunch, right?

Why doesn't that surprise me?

So I'm thinking, "Dave, there are guys like you

all over town: busy, Overworked, overstressed,

executive types, all cooking their brains

over the same weighty decision."

Suddenly, it occurs to me. Wouldn't it be great if there was someone

who could make all these tough choices for you?

Not just where to go or what to eat, but the real skull-busters like,

"What tie goes with what shirt?"

Or "Should I send Cousin April a check for her wedding

or actually go out and get something?"

I don't remember saying, "Come in."

So now I'm possessed. I can't get this notion out of my mind.

I realized I've stumbled across a giant untapped market here.

A need waiting to be filled.

But how to fill it? Then it hits me.

- Thank God. - The solution to this problem is a mother.

- Watch your language. - Not a "mutha." A mother.

Everybody has one, everybody loves them,

but nobody can't stand to be around them. And why?

Because they nag. Ekk ekk ekk ekk ekk ekk ekk!

Where to go, what to do, what shirt to wear,

what tie to wear, what to get for Cousin April.

I know there's a point in there somewhere.

Don't you see? Don't you get it?

Nobody wants to hear this from their own mother,

but how about if it was somebody else's mother?

Someone who hadn't raised you from a pup,

someone who couldn't make you feel guilty at the drop of a hat.

Now, if some bright guy could just harness nagging power--

- What do you want? - Want?

- Why did you come? - Lunch!

- Lunch? - Lunch, lunch! The meal between breakfast and dinner.

I was trying to figure out where to go when I came up with the idea for AMFL.

- AMFL? -"Another Mother For Lease."

Great name, isn't it?

- About lunch... - Choose away, Mom.

- I'm not having any. - No lunch today, no TV tonight.

No, I'm skipping lunch. I'm going to the museum.

They're exhibiting a new Gauguin.

Gauguin?

Oh, I heard of him. That's the guy

that duked it out with Godzilla, right?

I know who it is. He paints naked girls.

"Nudes."

Nudes, right. Nakes have staples in them.

- So, can I tag along? - Why?

Why? Why not? This may come as some surprise to you,

- but I like to look at naked women. - I'm sure you do.

Not only that, but I know something about art, too.

- What? That it's short for Arthur? - Now, you see?

You see, that's a cynical remark.

Because I do. I do know something about art.

There are a couple guys, a couple of artists, whose work I admire and respect.

- For instance? - Rubens.

- Rubens? - Rubens.

Peter Paul Rubens happens to be a favorite of mine.

Flemish, 17th century, master of the baroque style.

- David. - He liked to paint

those big fat mamas with major maracas.

- What? - Liked women well-packed.

An artistic notion not entirely lost on myself.

You know what they say. The bigger the cushion

- the better the-- - Stop it!

I don't know why we're working together.

We have nothing in common. You--

Your soul is vacant.

You possess no sensitivity. No poetry.

How can you say that?

Watch carefully. "You have no poetry."

For your information, I happen to be dripping with poetry.

I have poetry coming out my ears.

I have poetry stuck between my toes.

- I have poetry buried under my fingernails. - Do tell.

It's just that my style of poetry happens to differ

from your basic hobnob snob variety.

But then all of us innovative, vanguard types have always been misunderstood.

- I don't believe this. - I remember when they told e.e. Cummings,

"E, baby, use caps." But did old E listen?

No. Little N, little O.

I'm not having this conversation.

Or when they told Sylvia Plath,

"Hey, Syl, cheer up."

Now I know why people turn to drugs.

Excuse me. Mr. Addison, Ms. Hayes,

there's a client waiting to see you.

- What? - What?

- Are you sure? - Are you sure?

I asked her three times. What do you think she could want?

I don't know. Detective, maybe?

Gee, that makes sense.

Why don't you show her in?

Show her in what?

- Here! - Here!

Right away, Ms. Hayes.

Ms. Hayes, Mr. Addison, this is...

- Kathleen Kilpatrick. - Hello, I'm Madelyn Hayes,

- and this is David Addison. - Hi.

Sorry to be troubling you like this

without an appointment,

Well, normally, we are booked months in advance,

but you happened to hit our slack decade.

Have a seat, please.

I would like to hire you.

I'm being chased by a man, and I want you to protect me.

- Do you know who this man is? - No.

- Or why he's chasing you? - Oh, indeed, I know that.

He's after my pot of gold.

- Your pot of gold? - Yes, that's right.

Excuse me, I'm afraid I don't understand.

Just what do you mean by your pot of gold?

Oh, I'm sorry. I should've explained. You see, I'm a leprechaun.

A leprechaun?

Yes.

You are familiar with them, are you not?

Oh, sure. I did a lot of reading on them.

- When I was 7. - Aren't you a little tall?

I can assume all manner of shapes and sizes.

How convenient.

Ms. Kilpatrick, would you excuse us a moment?

- What do we gonna do? - About what?

About her. Should we call the police,

or the Department of Mental Health?

Should've known it be too good to be true.

When she said a client just walked in off the streets,

should've known she'd be nuts.

Wait a second. Are you trying to tell me you don't wanna take this case?

- What case? - What case? That case.

The lady is being pursued by someone.

That lady thinks she's a leprechaun.

- So? - So? I should've known.

Maddie, come back. Wait a second.

Are you trying to tell me you don't wanna take the case

simply because the woman said she was a leprechaun?

Boy, are you a tough customer.

I bet you didn't even clap your hands to save Tinkerbell.

Listen, that woman does not need a detective.

What she needs is a psychiatrist.

Perhaps. Ours is not to reason why.

Ours is to take the case and the money and...

- You would take this case? - If we don't do it, somebody else will.

All right, supposing she's telling the truth.

Supposing She really is a leprechaun

trying to protect her pot of gold, all right?

Doesn't she deserve the same protection as anyone else?

- She is not a leprechaun. - In which case,

no one is chasing her and it'll be the easiest dough we ever made.

Would you forget this money?

Can't you see? That woman needs help.

- It's not right for us to lead her on. - What do you mean lead her on?

Do you know she's not a leprechaun?

I'm reasonably certain, yes.

- Oh, really? - Yes, really.

- How do you be so sure? - Because there's no such thing as leprechauns.

- Says you. - Says everyone.

- Not everyone. - Everyone over the age of consent.

Are you saying that you actually think leprechauns exist?

No, I'm not saying they definitely do.

I'm just saying that if they do, their money's just as good as any other person's

- or troll's, or hobgoblin's. - Addison, that woman is...

- Eccentric. - Cuckoo.

Know what your problem is? Your soul is vacant.

You have no sensitivity. You have no poetry.

- Stick it someplace, Addison. - Fairytales are poetry. Fantasy is poetry.

- Leprechauns is poetry. - Okay, take it, take it.

But you're gonna take it alone,

'cause I'm not gonna be a party to this.

Fine, don't be party to this.

- Don't worry, I won't. - Good.

- Good! Fine! - Fine! Good!

Good!

I did too clap for Tinkerbell.

So how did you happen to pick the Blue Moon Detective Agency?

Was it the billboards? The TV commercials?

The magazine ads? Scratch-and-sniff was my idea.

- Actually, it was the name. - Swallow me Lucky Charms.

A blue moon is a sign of luck for leprechauns.

You see, our magical powers work only at night.

Night, huh? Mine, too.

That man belongs in a pound.

A pound of what?

Thank you for a most... enjoyable meal, Mr. Addison.

Don't thank me. You paid for it.

Besides, it's just part of the standard service package

we offer all our clients seeking security

for their pots of gold.

You think I'm crazy, don't you, Mr. Addison?

I think you're a client, Ms. Kilpatrick.

- A crazy client. - A paying client.

There's something I should tell you.

Something that you should know.

Something else? Hard to believe.

Last night... I killed a man, Mr. Addison.

Yeah, well... last night, I killed a quart of tequila.

Mr. Addison, did you hear what I said?

I said I killed a man.

No doubt about it.

This is gonna radically affect our fee agreement.

Okay, all right.

Let's review for a second or two, shall we?

- Last night, you killed a man? - Oh, my goodness.

- Don't look back. - What?

- Don't look back! - Don't look back?

Wait a second, wait a second. Question from the balcony.

Just what is it back there that I'm not supposed to be looking at?

A man! A fellow countryman, I think.

Now, look, Ms. Kilpatrick, I really don't think

- anybody's back there. - He's following us.

Up there.

Wait a second, wait a second.

Please!

Mr. Addison, shh!

Please.

- Did we give him the slip? - Shh. Quiet. He mustn't hear.

Of course.

Ms. Kilpatrick--

- Please. - No, you please.

No one is gonna hear us because there is no one down there.

I was hired to protect you, not humor you.

Mr. Addison, I can see you are not believing,

but I speak the truth.

He's down there, and I'm telling you,

he'll be wanting me pot of gold.

I'm sorry, but I kind of doubt that.

Now, look. It's late.

And I'm sure both of us have better things to do

than stand around up here.

Mr. Addison, you're not really leaving me?

Ms. Kilpatrick, nobody is following you.

- Oh, but they are. - Oh, but they are not.

I'm a capitalist.

Usually, I will take my capital

wherever I can find it.

But I don't want your money.

- I don't want this case. - Why?

It's just not right, me taking money from you. That's why.

Oh.

I'm even crazier than you thought, huh?

I don't want the money.

I don't wanna hear any more of your stories.

I don't wanna talk about it.

I want you to climb down here,

and I can take you back to wherever it is you came from

and be done with it.

- But what about the man? - There is no man--

Kathleen Kilpatrick!

You know what I'm after.

You best leave or harm will come to you.

People are trying to sleep over here!

I'm warning you. You come any closer,

and I'm gonna put the come-hither on you.

The come-hither?

Don't you have anything in a go-away hither?

You think I'm fooling. I ain't fooling.

I'm calling the cops.

Excuse me, sir, but I think I was ahead of you.

Then again, I might have been mistaken.

May all the unblessed spirits Of the night run wild

Hear the wail of the banshee

And may the devil come and claim your soul.

I'll be back, Kathleen Kilpatrick.

Hey. Hey, you!

Hello.

It's 3:30 in the morning.

And you're up. What luck. Need help.

- I've known that for months. - Could you just let us in, please?

Hello again, Ms. Hayes.

Oh, my goodness, the elf.

- Leprechaun. - Of course.

- Would you just let us in, please? - All right.

What happened to you?

My head ran into a plank of wood.

- Let's all talk. - Why don't you and I talk?

Ms. Kilpatrick, would you make yourself comfortable in the living room, please.

Why did you bring that cuckoo to my house?

She's not a cuckoo.

She is just... coo.

- Great. What does that mean? - That means somebody really is chasing her.

- I saw him. He conked me in the head. - My kind of guy.

Look, all right, I admit it. You were right.

The babe belongs in a bin.

But somebody really is chasing her.

We can't turn our backs on her now, can we?

What "we"? I didn't take this case.

Now I have this strange woman in my house.

I don't even know who she is.

She's Kathleen Kilpatrick.

How do I know she didn't run away from an institution?

How do I know she didn't escape from jail?

How do I know she's not wanted for murder?

- Oh, that reminds me. - What?

She happened to let it slip in conversation

that she killed a man last night.

- What? - Yeah, with her hand.

- Karate? - No, more like early Diana Ross.

That's it.

Ms. Kilpatrick, I think it's time the two of us

had a little...

Terrific.

Kind of sweet.

- Kind of flattering. - Flattering?

Look at her. It's a peaceful sleep.

She trusts us.

She feels safe, Maddie. She knows we'll protect her.

How can she know that when I don't?

Wonder who she really is. What she's really about.

Where she's really from.

I wonder why she chose leprechaun.

- Huh? - Of all the dreams to dream.

Of all the things to be, why that?

In the morning.

Yep, this is him. Edward O'Leary.

Recognize him?

I don't know. We never knew him.

Then what did you wanna look at the body for?

What did we want to look at the body for?

We're private detectives. It's what we do.

Wanna look at any others while you're here?

No, thanks. Our limit is one stiff per day.

Was there a cause of death?

Heart failure.

- That's it? - Usually, that's all it takes.

Yeah. Well, tell me something.

Could he have died from some sort of, uh, spell?

- A spell? - Yeah, you know.

"Abracadabra. The guy's a cadaver"?

Did you take a good look at that guy?

He was 55 years old.

Smoked, climbed four flights of stairs,

and was 70 pounds overweight.

His ticker just gave out.

- Look at the bright side. She didn't kill him. - That's the bright side?

You're right. She didn't kill him. What a bummer.

Of course, we can't be sure.

What do you mean we can't be sure?

The coroner said it was a heart attack.

Maybe that's the way a leprechaun death

is supposed to look.

Maybe it isn't about cholesterol at all.

Maybe the rash of heart attacks in this country

is actually the result of some major migration

of short Irish people.

Just a theory.

- What are we gonna do? - About what?

About her. Clearly, she's out of her mind.

Out of her mind? Don't you think that's a little strong?

Actually, "out of her mind" is a pretty good summation.

I don't know. What do you wanna do?

I don't know, but we gotta do something

before she gets hurt, or hurts somebody else.

Such a pretty lie.

- What does that mean? - I don't know.

Nothing. It's a shame.

She's such a nice person.

I thinks he doesn't mean to hurt anyone.

But we can't go on wasting time protecting someone

who won't tell us the truth,

who maybe doesn't know what the truth is.

- You want me to talk to her? - No, I'll do it.

We'll do it. We'll do it together.

Afternoon, Ms. Hayes. Afternoon, Mr. Addison.

Is Ms. Kilpatrick still in my office?

Yep.

I thought you said she was in there.

That Kilpatrick woman, she's a little strange.

Did you hear that? It's the pot calling the kettle pot.

Strange? What do you mean?

Where is she?

- Shh. - Shh.

What do you mean, "shh"? It's my office.

You're back.

She's been there the whole day. Ever since you left.

Is something wrong?

Ms. Kilpatrick, what are you doing in the closet?

Hiding.

You see, it's daytime, and in the daytime,

I'm at me most vulnerable.

- Me powers only work at night. - Only work at night.

Right, that's why I hired you.

To protect me during the day.

But I understand. You have to do

your investigating during the day, too.

So I thought, well--I was careful not to hurt anything.

And we appreciate that, Kathleen.

Daytime is a really scary time

for leprechauns.

You see, if we're captured by the light of day,

we must take our captors to our pot of gold.

We can't resist in any way.

You must go through a lot of pots.

Thank you, Ms. DiPesto.

Ms. Kilpatrick, let's have a little conversation.

Ooh, are you gonna get it now.

Kathleen, David and I like you. We like you a lot.

Well, I like the both of you.

Good. Good.

Kathleen, we know you're scared

and we know someone's chasing you,

and we would really like to help you.

But it's hard, it's almost impossible to figure out

what's going on without the truth to work with.

What do you mean? I've kept nothing from you.

And we believe you.

But maybe what you think is the truth isn't the whole truth.

The whole truth?

Well, we believe you're telling us the truth,

but what you believe is the truth may not be the truth.

- I'm sorry. - David, you understand what I'm saying.

Well, to tell you the truth--- 0Kathleen, there are

a million things I wish I could believe in.

Knights on horses. Wishing wells.

Santa Claus. Miracle cures.

Oh, so that's what this is about.

I have to tell you what I think.

No, no, it's not what you think.

It's what you feel. You see, Ms. Hayes,

believing isn't about thinking. It's about feeling.

Well, whatever it's about,

I think--I mean I feel--

I mean I believe you're not a leprechaun.

Leprechauns are tiny.

They go around casting spells and granting wishes.

- Can you do anything like that? - Maddie, easy.

Proof. Is that what you be wanting?

Yes, yes, yes. Proof. Proof would be wonderful.

I've been hearing all this talk all about powers

and pots of gold and other nonsense.

- Maddie. - And I haven't seen anything.

Maddie.

If it's proof you be wanting,

what if I took you to my pot of gold?

I'll get a shovel.

Kathleen, have you ever seen this pot of gold?

Why, of course not. I've only been in America two days.

Yeah, well, just where is it that you stash your pot?

Why, at the end of the rainbow, of course.

Kathleen, it's getting late,

and it occurs to me there are no rainbows at night.

Really?

Perhaps you haven't been looking in the right place.

Kathleen, let's just suppose that we don't find the rainbow.

Or let's say that we find the rainbow

and we don't find the pot of gold.

What if it's just not there?

But it will be.

When I was a little girl, me father promised me it would be.

- Oh. - Every Sunday,

we would have a picnic in the pasture of Dunsmeadere.

And it was then that he would talk to me about me gift.

"The gift of being a leprechaun," he would say.

"Very few people are chosen to have the magic.

But you, me darling, you have."

And he would talk to me about the traditions and the beliefs.

How leprechauns are the guardians

of all that's good, decent and honest.

And it's we who keep the demons of the night in tow.

And even though those around us don't understand,

we must never stop believing.

Where is your father now? Is he still in Ireland?

No. When I was six, he left to find work in America.

He sent me this picture.

And on it he wrote, "It has your name on it,

me little leprechaun."

That was the last I heard from him.

He died soon after.

There it be! That's it!

Stop the car! Stop the car!

I know I'm intrigued.

Isn't it marvelous?

It is sort of the right shape.

A steel rainbow.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

♪ Move slow ♪

♪ Sweet Harriet ♪

♪ I'll pay for the room for the night ♪

♪ Move slow ♪

♪ Sweet Harriet ♪

♪ And move a little more to the right ♪

Would you stop that?

- Stop what? - That. Must you sing that song?

You want me to go back to "Barnacle Bill the Sailor"?

- That's it! I've had it! - Wait a second. Where are you going?

Holler if you hit China.

Hey, come here. Where you going?

What are you doing?

Addison, it's the middle of the night.

It was the middle of the night.

I was standing there digging a hole.

I do not dig holes. I know how that sounds. It's not what I mean.

It's simply God's masterplan.

There are hole-diggers and there are non-hole diggers.

- And I am a non-hole digger. - Maddie, just a little while longer.

I do not dig holes. I do not sing profane songs.

I drink beer in a glass. I'm sorry. That's just the way I am.

- Okay. All right. I see. - No, you don't see. What are we doing here?

That's not a rainbow. It's a bridge.

She's not a leprechaun. She's crazy.

And we're not gonna find a pot of gold

because there is no pot of gold.

Ms. Hayes! Mr. Addison!

Hold that thought.

Ms. Hayes! Mr. Addison!

I said it was here.

- I don't believe it. - Look at that.

- Heave! - Heave!

Ho.

Heave!

Ho.

- Heave! - Oh, go to ho.

Come on. We can't just leave it sitting here.

Couldn't you have just blinked it into the house?

Isn't she beautiful?

Ohh!

I'll tell you something.

Something you won't believe.

There were times, moments...

when I thought, what if it isn't there?

What if it isn't true?

What if I'm just a woman, and it's just a story, and...

But it was true. It was there.

Thank you both.

David, there's a pot of gold in the middle of my living room.

A pot of gold.

- It's a crock. - You think so?

No, not the whole thing. Just the pot.

I mean, technically, it's a crock.

- Then what's everything else? - What's that mean?

That woman says she's a leprechaun.

Says she's trying to protect her pot of gold.

We say prove it, and she does.

I don't know what to think.

Didn't you hear the lady?

This has nothing to do with thinking.

Think too much and it'll all go away.

Well...

- I should be, uh-- - Yeah, you should be.

I'll see you.

♪ Who came out of the light but the lady of the house ♪

♪ And her life was meager on account of loss ♪

♪ Skin a ma rinky dootin dightin diddly dite ♪

♪ Skin a ma rinky dootin dightin ♪

♪ Diddly ditin do ♪

♪ Skin a ma rink dootin dightin

♪ Diddly ditin do ♪

What are you doing?

- Is something the matter? - What were you doing?

I'm digging a hole, of course.

I can't very well leave my pot of gold

laying around in your living room, can I?

I don't suppose you can.

But, you know, here in America, we don't do that.

Oh. Well, then. What do you do with your gold?

- We put it in the bank. - The bank?

- The bank. - Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

- Why not? - Well, that would be breaking the tradition.

You see, it's got to go in the ground.

In the ground.

The ground.

I know it's unorthodox, but...

Ohh! Ha!

How wonderful.

A ready-to-fill hole.

Wait till the other leprechauns hear.

Oh, this has been a glorious day.

You and your friend have done so much to help me.

- Oh, well, no. - Oh, I want to repay you for all your kindness.

Believe me, Kathleen, it's not necessary.

Payment of our fee is all we expect.

Oh, no, Ms. Hayes.

I would like to grant you three wishes.

- Excuse me? - Three wishes.

Anything you want.

Uh, I couldn't.

I wouldn't know what to ask for.

Oh, by the way, I would like to

grant Mr. Addison three wishes as well.

Really? You sure?

I shudder to think what he would ask for.

Oh. Well...

If you think it's wise not to.

Trust me.

Good morning. Sorry I'm late.

Kathleen and I stayed up most of the night talking.

It's funny, but for someone who only got four hours' sleep,

- I feel wonderful. - I'll be the judge of that.

You know, the more I get to know Kathleen, the more I like her.

She's so--I don't know.

She's from something. Some place, a culture.

I mean, I know she's dingy, but such a wonderful

good kind of dingy.

If there was such a thing as a leprechaun,

she would be one.

Yeah.

Well.

- She's not. - Excuse me?

I spent the morning at the library.

Ms. Kathleen Kilpatrick is the daughter of a bank robber.

- A bank robber? - A bank robber.

A hundred thousand dollars in gold coins

was stolen from the Bank of Ireland in 1964

by three men. One of them got away.

- Kathleen's father. - Oh, my goodness.

They never found him or the gold.

The other two men went to prison.

One, a Michael McBride, died five years ago.

- The other was Edward O'Leary. - Edward O'Leary?

Yeah, you remember. The guy we met the other day

with the weight problem and gray complexion?

He must have followed Kathleen to this country.

Figuring she might know where her father hid the gold.

- Oh, David. - Yep. We just helped that woman

uncover a hot pot of gold.

- Maybe we shouldn't tell her. - Maddie, we have to tell her.

- Why? - Why?

Because you can't let a person go through life thinking

they're supposed to be casting spells and granting wishes

and hiding in closets.

Because she has a right to know the truth about her father.

And because if we don't tell her, somebody else will.

- Well, I don't wanna be the one to tell her. - Fine.

- And I don't want anybody else to either. - Not fine.

- Maddie, look at the bright side. - Show it to me.

Well, it's not like he killed anyone.

Maybe there's a statute of limitation that's expired.

Maybe there's a reward for returning the gold.

- Really, you think so? - It's a possibility.

You're right, you're right. I'm being pessimistic.

This situation is much brighter than I'm painting it.

- Absolutely. - Things aren't as bleak as I'm making them appear.

- There you go. - I mean, you look at the facts one by one,

- he wasn't such a bad man. - My point exactly.

All right, he robbed a bank. The deed was heinous

but his motives were noble.

- Yeah, greed. - He braved a cruel ocean

to make sure his fortune was here for his daughter.

- Smuggling. - Found a rainbow and buried it for her.

- Vandalism. - Spun fanciful tales to disguise the ugly truth.

Lied to his own flesh and blood.

David, the man was dog food.

Tender Vittles. No doubt about it.

She's probably not even here.

She said she was gonna go visit her father's grave.

If I'd have known, we could've lent her some spit.

You tell her.

We'll both tell her.

Kathleen?

I've come to a decision.

- You're leaving? - I think it's best.

- Why? - This afternoon at the graveyard,

- that man was there, waiting. - What happened?

Well, I managed to get away without him seeing me.

It's only a matter of time before he finds out where I'm staying.

It won't be safe for you if I'm here.

But we can help you.

Oh, no. You've done enough already.

I'm not sure this country is the best place

for a leprechaun and a pot of gold.

We're being followed.

I don't see anyone, Kathleen.

No, it doesn't matter. I know we're being followed.

I've caught this act before.

We should give her the benefit of the doubt.

- So, what do we do? - Down there.

Addison, how can she just know she's being followed?

- It's not like she's really a leprechaun. - I know that.

Obviously, there' nobody's following us.

Of course there's nobody following us.

Just humor her till she's on the plane.

- As long as you're sure. - Sure? Sure I'm sure.

I'm positive. I'm certain.

I'm Positively certain, and I'm certainly positive

- that no one is following us. - Kathleen Kilpatrick!

What are we gonna do now?

Shove like hell.

(Maddie yelps

We're sunk.

Wait a second. Get on line.

But I don't wanna go to Ireland now.

How about if I hold your coat for you?

On second thought, I always wanted to go to the Emerald Isle.

Miss, can I help you with this hatbox?

This isn't gonna work. He's gonna spot us.

- He is not gonna spot us. - He's gonna spot us.

He just spotted us.

Coming through! Watch out! One side! Coming through!

Oh, my.

It's the only way to fly.

Sir--Oh!

Oh!

I belong to her.

I gotta go. You stay here.

Come on! Me plane leaves in five minutes.

- ...in five minutes. - Look!

We need to go!

How are we gonna get past security with these bags?

Trust me. It'll be fine!

Walk through, please. Walk through, please.

Walk through, please. Thank you.

- Guess we lost him, huh? - Guess again.

Well, Kathleen Kilpatrick. We played the game your way.

- Take your mitts off her. - You know how the legend works.

- Now give me the suitcase. - Addison!

No, he's right! I must give him the suitcases.

He captured me!

I'm bound by tradition to offer them to him

with no resistance.

No resistance! Go ahead, take them.

- They're yours now. - You're damned right it's mine.

My father died in prison because of this gold.

- Your father? - He was Michael McBride.

And he robbed the bank with two other men.

- One of them being Sean Kilpatrick. - Me father?

Look, she already said you could take the gold.

You're saying me father stole it?

Yes, just because he was lucky enough to escape and my father wasn't

I figure the rest of that gold belonged to me.

And all this time he had you believing you're a leprechaun.

Don't you listen to a word he said.

I have a feeling he spoke the truth.

The real truth. The whole truth.

Well... there's not much left to do.

I suppose I should go get to me plane now.

Maybe Mr. McBride has actually done me a favor.

Yeah, right. Let him tip the skycap.

What would you have done if I gave you the gold?

- Us. - Yeah.

You mean after I came to?

Well, if it was stolen, we'd return it.

That makes me choice easier.

I no longer wish to be a leprechaun.

- Excuse me? - I don't wanna be a leprechaun anymore.

Can you do that? Don't you have to tell somebody?

Give notice to the head lep?

No. It's simple, really.

I grant other people's wishes.

I'm just gonna grant meself one now.

Kathleen, are you sure you wanna do this?

Oh, yes. Quite.

Truth is, I don't always want to be looking over me shoulder

to see who's chasing me.

I don't want to be always worrying

that the people I get close to might get hurt.

I don't wanna be explaining myself to people,

trying to get them to understand something that they can't see.

Something that they can only feel.

So you see, I'm really quite happy.

Now the burden of protecting the gold is lifted off me.

Flight 417 to Dublin, final boarding, gate 52B.

Before I go, do me one favor.

If it has anything to do with digging or carrying, I'm out.

- Capture me. - What?

Capture me. All you have to do is take me arms. Please.

Ich am of Ireland.

And of the holy land Of Ireland,

good sir, pray ich

I wish to be mortal.

I wish to be free.

- Thank you. - That's it?

- That's it. - I've owned pairs of pants

it's taken me longer to get out of.

Thank you both for everything.

- Take care. - Now, Kathleen, when you get home,

I want you to take a good look at yourself, all right?

Work on the hair. Work on the wardrobe.

Start to work on a social life.

Date outside your fairytale.

Dance with a fairy.

Make love to a giant.

I give you my word, Mr. Addison. Mmm.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- What's that? - Epilogue.

Okay, Monte. The missus and I have decided to trade the key

for what's inside the locker.

Taxi! Excuse me.

She left us the gold.

She really did. She left us the gold.

Then we did capture her after all.

But what about McBride? What did he get?

A hernia?

Skycap, will you give us a hand with this, please?

Kind of makes you wonder if there really aren't

some leprechauns around after all.

Yes, sir? What might you be wishing for?

♪ Some walk by night ♪

♪ Some fly by day ♪

♪ Nothing could change you ♪

♪ Set and sure of the way ♪

♪ There is the sun and moon ♪

♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪

♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪

♪ Sharing one space ♪

♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪

♪ We'll fly by day ♪

♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪

♪ Who just met on the way ♪