All language subtitles for Fantasy Island S01E01

The plane! The plane!

Smiles. Smiles, everyone.

Ah, it's going to
be a beautiful day.

Who are the guests
this time, boss?

Any beautiful women?

Tattoo, how many times do I have
to tell you? All women are beautiful.

Sometimes you just have to
look for it a little harder. That's all.

Miss Ann Dowd,
age 25, unmarried.

She works in the office of a
trailer company in Akron, Ohio,

as does Maxine Bender.

Also 25, also unmarried.

They've been best
friends since high school.

If Robert Redford gets off
next, I know what their fantasy is.

Tattoo, it so happens that
Ann and Maxine's fantasy...

is much more
glamorous than that.

In fact, it's a fantasy shared by
countless people all over the world.

They want a chance to
live in a modern fairy tale...

and, like Cinderella,
for just a brief time,

to be one of the glamorous,
beautiful people of the world.

- A jet-setter.
- Those two, glamorous?

This time, boss, I think you've
bitten off more than you can chew.

Well, it's reassuring to know I
have your unfailing confidence.

You don't have to get mad,
boss. No one can bat a thousand.

Is he here to join the
glamorous life too?

Quite on the contrary, Tattoo.
Mr. Udall is a famous magician.

Then he must
have a lot of money.

Enough to pay the
full price for a fantasy.

Must you always reduce
everything to such crass terms?

Yes, Mr. Udall is
very successful,

and at a very
dangerous profession.

Some say he's the most
daring and spectacular

escape artist the
world has seen...

since his late father, who
was the original Great Dante,

but just once would like to
perform his own escape...

Something that his
father or Houdini...

or any other escape artist in
history never even conceived.

It's a request he
may live to regret.

My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Do those men have something to do
with the trap you have for me, Mr. Roarke?

Oh, very much so, Mr. Udall.

You see, they've come for you.

They look like some sort of
prison guards. They are indeed.

They are from Ile du Diable.

Ile du Diable? You
mean, Devil's Island?

One of the most notorious, godforsaken
prisons in the history of the world.

Yes, but, uh, Devil's Island
doesn't exist anymore.

Doesn't it? This is
Fantasy Island, Mr. Udall,

and here anything
exists, if I so wish.

Wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Take it easy!

Mr. Roarke! I'm sorry, but
they're only doing their job.

You see, they believe you to be a convicted
murderer whom I am delivering to them.

Murderer? What are
you talking about?

Uh, Mrs. Udall, your
husband's fantasy was for me...

to provide him with the
ultimate challenge for escape.

Uh, the, uh, lagoon
lets out to the open sea.

The island on which the prison is
located is 15 miles from our shore.

Oh, I should also tell you
that the waters around it...

are infested... with sharks.

You can stop your
fantasy now, Mr. Udall,

or nevermore.

There is nothing you can
do for him now, Mrs. Udall.

I'll take you back
to the main house.

Your fantasy will begin
with a change of wardrobe.

Is all this for us to
wear this weekend?

I hope you enjoy them. Enjoy
them? I'm afraid to touch them.

Oh, Ann, have you ever
seen anything more elegant?

Look at this one.

Grace Kelly wore one just
like that in High Society.

Uh, will you come in
when you can, please?

I am so happy you're pleased,

but if you want to
be truly jet-setters,

I think you must first
meet Mr. Robert Massoon.

- Robert Massoon is here?
- Oh, very much so.

And he's ready to help you. Ah.

Mr. Massoon, I'd like you to
meet Miss Dowd and Miss Bender.

For us?

But he's the most famous
beauty expert in the whole world.

Mr. Massoon, I've
read all your books.

Have you really?

Eh, well, Robert, can
you have your staff...

make these two young
ladies glamorous jet-setters?

Well, as far as glamour is
concerned, I can do anything.

But, uh, in this
case, Mr. Roarke,

I... I can't promise.

I have done all I can.

Take a good look, Udall. That is the
last you will ever see of the free world.

Mmm!

Oh, cheer up, Tattoo. Cheer up.

As you say, no one
can bat a thousand.

Well, it's fun trying. Ah!

Our two friends from the
plane, Ann and Maxine.

Those are not the same girls.

Aren't they?

They are the same girls!

You folks just get pretty girls
here by the bunches, don't ya?

That's the way I like them.

Miss Dowd, Miss Bender,
you look just exquisite.

- Both of you.
- You really think so?

Oh, don't just judge by
me. Look around you.

Like Count Rudolph over there,

the jury of your peers.

Oh, I think the count
is looking at me.

Uh, the, um,
background stories...

we have discreetly
spread about you...

are that, uh, you
are both heiresses.

Um, your money came
from, uh, oil, Miss Dowd.

Uh, Miss Bender, your
fortune came from shipping.

How exciting. I
always did love sailors.

♪♪ Attention, attention, please.

It's time for the
scavenger hunt.

- Scavenger hunt?
- Yes.

I love scavenger hunts!

Anyone wishing to participate
in the contest, attention.

Enjoy yourself, Miss
Dowd. Excuse me.

The grand prize for the
scavenger hunt will be...

the Debussy necklace
and earring set.

But first, everyone
must find a partner.

Would you like to be my partner?

Me?

Oh, I'd love to, Count.

The sun cascades against
your face like crying starlight.

You're Ian Cooper
Smith, the writer.

And you're beautiful.

May I escort you to
the scavenger hunt?

Hold on there. Not so fast.

The lady already has a partner.

That is, if you want one.

Um...

I want one.

Your records say that you
have escaped many prisons.

No one has ever
escaped my command.

Believe me, prisoner Udall,

I will watch you more closely
than the spider watches the fly.

And if you are so foolish...

Had him put in
there three days ago.

He tried to steal an
extra portion of food.

Imagine what I will do to you...

if you ever dare try to escape.

That's it, that's it.
Just a little closer.

Don't shake the
branch. You'll drop it.

If there are any eggs,
don't break them.

- I got it! I got it! Oh!
- Gott in Himmel!

Are you all right? Oh, I'm fine.

And look, I still
have the bird's nest!

That means, with
the bicycle tire...

and the silver spoon
we already have,

all we need now is a
red ball and a duck to win!

Gott in Himmel! What
a hearty girl you are!

Look, there's a red ball.

That looks like it's being put
to pretty good use already.

You know, it's a
funny thing about kids.

Whether they're
here or in the city...

or on some Indian
reservation in Oklahoma,

they all play the same...
Simple, straightforward,

not afraid to laugh.

You sound like you spend a lot
of your time watching kids play.

I do. I used to anyway.

Before I had to spend all my
time taking care of my money,

I used to be into pediatrics,
child behavior, all of that.

You're a doctor? Used to be.

No time anymore.

Do you mean nobody's told
you about my private casino...

and racquetball club that I'm
buggin' everybody to invest in?

No.

Well, no wonder you're so
friendly. Really, I got a great spot.

Right on the strip in Vegas,
but completely private.

Nobody but our crowd,

and shares of membership
just $10,000 each.

Oh, it sounds like fun.

I'll, uh, talk to my
lawyers about it.

Doc, what do you say?
Shall we go down...

and try and talk them
out of their red ball?

Well, I suppose we
could, but seein' as...

we haven't been able
to gather a single thing...

on this scavenger hunt, why
louse up a perfect record?

Come on. It's martini time.

Let me get you something, eh?

You must be sick
as hell right now.

The first day in here and the boat
ride and the stench in this place.

My last cigarette. American.

I was saving it for my birthday,
but I've forgotten when that is.

No, no, no. I couldn't take
that from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you. Go ahead. Your
first day here. You deserve it.

God knows you deserve something.

Besides, I've... been
coughing too much lately.

Got a light? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. How
old is this building?

Not old enough, but the cement
in the basement window is looser,

if that's what you're
thinking. Yeah.

You, uh... You have
a very light touch.

It's very good. Hmm?

My pad and pencil, please.

No hard feelings, I hope. I
just like to keep in practice.

By the way, uh, how did you sneak
it past the guard in the shower?

The same way I,
uh, kept this watch.

I, uh, picked his pocket after
I changed into the uniform.

Oh, of course. You, uh...

You put it in his pocket in
the first place for safekeeping.

Wow. You're either a
pickpocket or a magician.

No, no, no, no, no.

You're the pickpocket.
I'm the magician.

You're, uh, second-to-last
cigarette, I believe?

No hard feelings. I like
to keep in practice too.

Doesn't matter.

Oh, it does matter if you
know a man named Mr. Roarke.

If my guess is right, you're
not a real prisoner here.

You're... You're a
magician or an escape artist.

Someone who had the fantasy
to make the ultimate escape.

How do you know that?

My dear American.

Just look at me
and see your future.

They used to call me
"The Great Dauphin."

The Great Dauphin?
He died 10 years ago.

Yeah, 10 years ago is
when I asked Mr. Roarke...

to provide me with
my ultimate escape.

♪♪

Well, ladies, I hope
you're enjoying yourselves.

Enjoying ourselves? It's
like a dream come true.

Imagine, me having
dinner with a count...

and Ann with the handsomest
millionaire doctor I've ever seen.

I'm so pleased. Oh, I see
you won the prize today.

Yes! It's real, isn't it?

Oh, indeed it is. It was part
of the Debussy collection.

The rest, of course, is to be
auctioned off here tomorrow night.

- Auction?
- Oh, yes.

That's always the highlight
of our masquerade ball.

We raise a lot of
money for charity.

You see, it's tradition
that every guest bids...

on at least one of
the items up for sale.

But, Mr. Roarke,
that isn't fair.

We can't afford to buy
anything. I'm sorry, Miss Dowd.

Your fantasy was to spend two
days as members of the jet set.

But if we don't bid on anything,
they'll know we don't belong.

Oh, I hope not.

I sincerely hope not.

Will you excuse us, please?

Midnight. Probably'll be right in
the middle of the masquerade ball.

I suppose it had to end sometime.
But how are we gonna tell them?

♪♪

Midnight.

Just like a couple
of Cinderellas, huh?

Oh, Mr. Roarke! Mr. Roarke.

Oh, I'm glad I
caught up with you.

Do I look all right? You
look just fine, Mr. Harmon.

Are you sure? I... I don't
usually wear clothes like this.

Believe me, you are
the picture of elegance.

But you better hurry.
You don't want to be late.

- No, no, I don't wanna be late.
- Wish me luck.

What is he so excited about?

Mr. Harmon is having
lunch with Charlie's Angels.

Charlie's Angels? Mm-hmm.

- All three of them?
- Well, of course, Tattoo. Something wrong?

No, but, uh, I thought that,
uh, if you don't need me, I...

- Yes?
- Well, I thought that...

maybe Mr. Harmon could
use a little help with dessert.

Uh-huh. Do try not to get
in the way, will you, Tattoo?

Thank you.

I was beginnin' to think
you'd never show up.

Everybody seems to
be having so much fun.

Well, yeah. I mean, it's a
bundle of laughs around here.

It's nice to be around folks who
know how to enjoy themselves.

Why? Is somethin' wrong?

Uh, no. I'm just
looking for Maxine.

Oh. Well, I'm afraid
I haven't seen her.

Well, I'm gonna be Peter
Pan tonight. How about you?

What? For the masquerade.

They sent me a pair of
green tights and a funny hat,

so I figure it's either
that or Robin Hood.

I'm sure in your
case it's Robin Hood.

Well, if that's true, I'd sure
like you to be my Maid Marian.

Oh, uh...

I don't know. Uh,
to tell you the truth,

I don't think I feel
up to going tonight.

It's nothing I've done, I hope?

Oh, no. It isn't that. It...

I will go and get
a drink, and I...

Excuse me. I have
to go talk to Maxine.

Say, 8:00, please.

8:00.

Where have you been? I've
been looking all over for you.

Rudy took me out on his yacht.

It's just off the
island. It's terrific.

Look, I don't mean
to get personal,

but don't you think you're
getting too friendly with him?

We're going home tomorrow.
Now's not the time to get involved.

Why not? Who am
I saving myself for?

Smitty in the machine shop?

Or one of those guys
on the assembly line?

Maybe Rudy isn't the
handsomest guy in the world,

but he's really nice.

He likes me, and I like him.

He thinks I'm a hearty girl.

I'm sorry. I mean,
if you really like him.

It's just that I'm
tryin' to figure out...

what we're going to do tonight
when they start that auction.

I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
let Rudy buy me anything he wants to.

- You can't do that!
- I'll tell you something, Ann.

I've been poor, and now
I've had a taste of being rich,

and I like rich a
whole lot better.

You're very good.
Gonna attempt to escape?

- I'm gonna try.
- I know a way.

I know, I know. You
look at me and say,

"I know a way"...
What am I doing here?

Well, you can say
I lost my nerve.

The last time I escaped,
seven years ago,

they brought me back and
put me in the box for three days.

I'm going out alone, Ipsy. Please,
please, don't leave me here.

I'm goin' out alone.

I have to, Ipsy.

Yeah.

I remember when
I had to go alone.

I was young and proud.

I remember.

♪♪

Having a good time, Tattoo?

Oh, boss, how did
you know it was me?

Having fun?

Whenever he's not busy tryin' to
sell shares in his racquetball club.

You really like him, don't you?

More than anyone I've
ever known. I'm leaving.

You know, Maxine, I'm really
beginning to feel like Cinderella.

I mean, pretty soon the
clock's gonna strike 12:00,

and the auction will start, and
then everything will come apart.

- I said I'm leaving.
- What?

Rudy and I. The tide
goes out in an hour,

and we're taking
out his yacht with it.

You and the count?

He wants to take me back
home to meet his mother.

But that's crazy, Maxine.

He... He thinks
you're an heiress.

What's gonna happen when he
finds out you don't have any money?

I already told him.
He doesn't care.

He just keeps saying I'm a
hearty girl and he loves me.

And I think I love him too.

But you just met him.

I've known him longer than you've known
the doc, and look how you feel about him.

Don't you understand, Ann?

All my life I've been a size
10 tryin' to fit into a size eight.

And finally, I find somebody
who likes me just like I am,

and I love him for that.

- I don't know what to say.
- Just wish me luck.

And I'll write as
soon as I can. Oh!

Bye-bye.

Say, I'm sorry I took so long.

Did you find any
members for your club?

No, not yet, but
they'll come around.

Say, have you thought
about it any more?

Um, I'm afraid I... I can't.

Uh, not right now.

Yeah, I know. All your
money's tied up in cash.

No, it's not that.

- It's just...
- Attention, attention.

Ladies and
gentlemen, it's midnight.

The bewitching hour is here,
and the auction is about to begin.

Excuse me. I think
I'll buy myself a drink.

Remember, please
that you are bidding...

Roger? Roger?

Please, I want to explain.

I have to explain.
Ann, leave it alone.

I'm sorry. I'm just in a bad
mood. It's not your fault.

But it is my fault, because
I'm a liar. I'd invest in your club.

I'd invest in anything for
you if I could, but I can't.

I'm a fake, a phony.

I'm not a jet-setter. I
don't have a lot of money.

I don't have any money.

I work in a trailer
factory in Akron, Ohio.

A trailer factory? How
disgustingly gauche, darling.

Well, if nothing else, I hope
I've given you all a good laugh.

Wait a minute, Ann.
Ye gods, a trailer factory!

And to think I talked to
her once. You stupid jerk.

Well! Waiter, more champagne.

Have some on me.

Look!

You run, you die!
You can't escape!

You are a most foolish man.

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Roarke.

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

I understand there was some
excitement around here last night, huh?

A slight miscalculation, as
you can see. I tell ya, I'm lucky.

If it had been one of my father's
water escapes, I never would've made it.

Well, live and
learn, as they say.

Perhaps your next attempt
will be more successful.

Next attempt? Oh, no,
no. No, no. I surrender.

It was a hell of a test,
Mr. Roarke, really.

But, uh, no. You, uh, can tell these
people I'm ready to go back now.

Tell 'em who I am. Go back?

Yeah, to Fantasy Island.
You win, Mr. Roarke.

I give up.

Uh, Mr. Udall, the fantasy I
agreed to provide for you...

was for the ultimate escape.

Agreed.

But that's over. I give up.

Oh, Mr. Udall,

I'm sure your cell mate,
Ipsy Dauphin, told you.

There is no
provision for giving up.

I'm afraid, just like
Ipsy, if you don't escape,

you'll spend the
rest of your life here.

Oh, no. You're not
gonna get away with that.

My wife Kathy's
back on that island.

Oh, Mr. Udall,
your wife Kathy...

will be told exactly what Ipsy
Dauphin's wife was told 10 years ago...

That you died
attempting an escape.

It shouldn't be hard
to convince her.

Oh, speaking of your friend,

he did ask me to give you this.

He said something about, um,
uh, saving it for Christmas. Um...

He said you being in here,
you need it more than he would.

- Something wrong?
- Just last night...

- Yes?
- Nothing.

Oh.

Well, if it makes
you feel any better,

the guard said you
almost made it last night.

A few more feet, and they
would've lost you in the jungle.

Yes.

Do enjoy your smoke, Mr. Udall.

It may be the last one
you'll have in a long time.

I was hopin' I'd find you here.

I went by your place last
night, then again this mornin'.

I wasn't answering.
Yeah, I gathered that.

Well, I guess I made a pretty
big jerk of myself last night.

Hell, I made a pretty big jerk
of myself the whole weekend.

It wasn't you.

There you go again...

Disagreeing with me
before you know all the facts.

I told you. I'm not
who I said I was.

I don't have any money.

Honey, ya had company
and didn't know it.

- What?
- Me.

I live in a battered-up
old trailer...

that might've been made
by the company you work for.

But what about all that money you were
raising for the Las Vegas Racquet Club?

I'm afraid that was a lie too.

Is there anything
about you that's true?

Those kids I told you about on
the Indian reservation... They're true.

The fact that I'm a
doctor... That's true too.

You see, my fantasy was
to raise 30,000 or $40,000,

and I figured the
best way to do it...

was to pitch a lot
of wealthy people...

to invest in somethin' stupid.

- Then it was all a con.
- A dream.

A fantasy. A con. I guess
maybe it was all those things.

What were you gonna
do with all the money?

Build a clinic for my kids.

I mean, it wouldn't have
been no 10-story job.

Maybe just a one-story adobe
with the proper equipment.

You see, right now, the nearest,
decent clinic is 40 miles away.

And, hell, those people, they
spend 10 thousand spillin' drinks.

I love you, Dr. Sullivan,

even if you are a lousy con man.

You know, you'd be a
fool to come back with me.

I mean, that's an
awfully small trailer.

Oh, I don't take up
a whole lot of space.

Shh.

Udall, what... What
are you doing here?

I ran out of cigarettes.
Come on. Let's get outta here.

No, no. I'm liable
to slow you down.

I'll take that chance.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Come on. I already got
a rope hole in the wall.

Yeah, good. Let's go.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. Okay.

Get down.

Now what are we gonna do?
They're about to change the guard.

Hey, trust me. I told
you I knew a way out.

All right. Come on.

This way, this way.

In there.

That's the garbage.
I know, I know.

It's taken out on a boat
every morning at dawn.

Five miles out at
sea and dumped.

Five miles? What about
the sharks? Don't worry.

The boat has a dinghy.
Once we're out at sea,

we'll grab it and head
for Fantasy Island.

Let's go. Look out.

Okay, you first. Go on.

Ooh. Oh.

You may take all
your garbage out now.

We got out just in time.
I'm all out of cigarettes.

That's okay. I'm out of matches.

Mr. Roarke, I just wanna
thank you for everything.

Even though it was not
everything you may have expected?

No, I got more than I
expected or hoped for.

- And Dr. Sullivan?
- I can't complain.

I'm very happy you're
both so pleased.

Oh, uh, before I forget, your
friend Maxine left something for you.

The Debussy necklace.

It's worth a great
deal of money.

Perhaps not enough to build
a 10-story racquetball club,

but at least enough to build
a first-rate medical clinic.

And a first-rate clinic
it'll be, I promise you.

You better hurry now.
Your plane is leaving.

Tell me the truth, boss. Yes?

Besides Count Rudolph, were
any of the others real jet-setters?

It doesn't matter, Tattoo.
Remember, this is Fantasy Island.

Well, I hope you
enjoyed your visit with us.

I'm, uh... I'm not so sure.

I... I came to do a
one-man escape...

that my father never
did, to satisfy my ego,

and then just when I had it in
my reach, I let it get away from me.

Then perhaps, Mr. Udall, that
was the greatest escape of all...

Escape from the need to
compete with your father.

And for that, Mr. Roarke,
I'll be forever grateful.

- Looking for someone,
Mr. Udall?
- Uh, yes. Ipsy.

I thought maybe he'd be on the same
plane, or at least come say good-bye.

Yes. Well, I'm sure he
sends his best wishes to you.

But, um, you must remember
it will take Ipsy longer...

to adjust to the
outside world again.

Well, good-bye and thank you.

Good-bye, Mr. Udall.
Have a pleasant trip.

Thank you. Mrs. Udall.

Why did you lie to
Mr. Udall about Ipsy, boss?

I did not lie, Tattoo.

Merely preserved an illusion.

Would Mr. Udall
be half so pleased...

if he knew that Ipsy Dauphin
is, in reality, our master chef?

It'll be nice to have Ipsy
back in the kitchen again.

It will, indeed,
Tattoo. It will indeed.