Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You ready, Bill?

Ready, TJ.

I don't know how you manage.

Let's go.

[FEEDBACK]

Ladies and gentlemen, the JFK Skytel

presents the piano and vocal stylings of Miss

Billie Golden and Mr. TJ Clark.

[POLITE APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

Thank you for coming out to be with us tonight.

It's nice to see--

Skylark Lounge.

How many in your party?

Three?

Yeah, I think I can squeeze you in.

For our first number, we'd like to do a song my parents

actually used to perform here.

I know some of you know this already,

but for those of you who don't, my parents fell in love here

35 years ago, and my late father was the pianist here,

and my mother was the singer.

So I hop you like it.

[MUSIC "I CAN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING BUT LOVE"]

(SINGING) I can't give you anything but love, baby.

That's the only thing I've plenty of, baby.

[BLENDER WHIRRING]

Dream awhile, scheme awhile--

[VIOLENT COUGHING]

We're sure to find happiness and I guess all those things

you've always pined for.

I can't give you anything but love, baby.

That's the only thing I've plenty of, baby.

Dream awhile, scheme awhile.

We're sure to find happiness and I guess all

those you've always pined for.

Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell, baby.

Diamond cuff links Woolworth's doesn't sell, baby.

Till that lucky day, you'll know darn well, baby--

[AIRPLANE FLYING OVERHEAD]

[SNORING]

I can't give you anything but love.

[APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

Our next song is something my father taught

me when I was a little girl.

TJ: Great on "Anything But Love,"

but we definitely need to work on that second chorus tomorrow.

Jesus, Sal.

You almost gave me a heart attack.

Sal, were you playing in Mommy's closet again?

Cute.

Listen, guys, I gotta talk to you.

Can you sit down for a sec?

Yes.

Well, she's a Pisces with an Aries moon.

[DOOR OPENING]

That's her.

I gotta go.

Listen, if I call back, will I get you again?

OK, bye-bye.

Hey, Ma.

Why was that?

Your Uncle Morty.

Really?

Uncle Morty?

Uh-huh.

He just wanted to talk.

Uncle Morty has Alzheimer's, Ma.

I know.

He thought it was mid-afternoon.

You gotta stop with the phone astrologers

and the psychic hotlines, Ma.

Some of them happen to be very--

Ma, there was $150 in here a couple days ago.

Want a cup of tea?

No, I'm all set.

English Breakfast or mint?

How'd it go tonight?

OK.

We'll have mint.

How'd it go for you?

Great.

I got to work pediatrics.

You know who I was thinking about before you came in?

I was thinking about that guy you used to date

when you lived in the city?

Remember the one who was always giving you clothes?

He stole them.

Oh.

He seemed like such a nice boy.

Why don't you give him a call?

He's in jail, Ma.

For how long?

Ma!

Well, the astrologist said you'd wind up with a Virgo

from your past.

You know I think that stuff's a bunch of hooey.

I'm just trying to be helpful.

By the time I was your age--

By the time you were my age, you were a widow.

But you live your life as if you're in some kind

of techno-rama musical.

Technicolor.

So it went well tonight?

Great.

Yeah, it went great.

I got fired.

Six more weeks I got there, then Sal's getting a DJ.

Well, I can't believe Sal would do this to you.

I'm gonna go down there and talk to him right now.

No, Ma, you're not going anywhere.

It's just the way things go sometimes.

Don't be silly.

Sal owes us.

No, Sal doesn't owe us anything.

It's a business, you know?

He's running a business.

You know what?

What do you say we just forget the tea and go to bed, huh?

CHORUS (ON TV): (SINGING) Every night

at seven, every time the same thing happens.

I fall once again in love--

LEAD (ON TV): But only with you!

MA: Honey, turn that down!

How am I supposed to sleep?

You don't have to quit the business, Billie.

See if you can pick up another shift here and get a new gig.

Marcy.

No.

Sweetie, it was time you upgraded from the Piscataway

HoJo's anyway.

I do not sing at the Piscataway HoJo's.

I'm sorry, the JFK HoJo's.

Well, it beats singing on a street corner with a hat out.

Don't Tell Mama's holds auditions every week.

Oh, yeah.

And we all know what a stellar auditioner I am.

There are audition classes.

Free ones.

Ladies, qu'est-ce que c'est passe?

We do not serve during Miss Kitt's ballad.

Amboise, please, with the French.

We all know you're from Cleveland, OK?

Alors, Miss Marcy, Billie, you are warned.

Miss Billie, you are warned.

You are warned.

We all are.

[APPLAUSE]

[PIANO INTRO]

(SINGING) The boys, they say I have a funny sound.

And when I talk, they all come around.

The boys, they say my walk is very odd.

They go gaga when I take my promenade.

But when I turn and look at them in the eye,

they run away and never tell me why.

I've got a voice that says yes, a walk that says maybe,

but a look that says uh-uh.

Marcy, what are you doing?

Putting on more lipstick.

Why?

There's a cutie on table 32.

--if it weren't for all that ice in my glands.

I've got a voice that says yes, a walk that says maybe,

but a look that says uh-uh.

Some girls with--

They're holding auditions tomorrow for Carnival.

The show?

The cruise line.

They're looking for a lounge singer.

It's only four months.

The money is unbelievable.

Plus you get to go to all the islands.

Which ones?

Who cares?

They're islands.

I mean, the point is, it's a chance

to make money doing what you love somewhere besides Queens.

--but a look that says uh-uh.

OK.

But this is the last one.

If I blow this one too, that's it.

I'm out.

[APPLAUSE]

How'd it go?

I sucked.

But I gave you an easy act to follow, and you're on.

Hi.

So Miss Golden, what have you prepared for us today?

I have "I Can't Give You Anything But Love."

Anything but that.

I hate that.

OK.

I have "On the Sunny Side of the Street."

Fine.

OK.

Hi.

So, if you can take it easy at the top--

I see the markings, yeah.

Good.

And then when we get to the chorus,

if you can kind of move it along so it

swings a little, kind of jazzy.

Good.

Oh, and um, don't make the top a dirge, OK?

Whatever you do, no dirge.

[PIANO ARPEGGIO]

(SINGING) Grab your coat and get your hat.

Leave your worries on the doorstep.

Life can be so sweet on the sunny side of the street.

Can you pick it up just a little bit, please?

[PIANO MUCH FASTER]

I used to walk in the shade with those blues on parade.

But I'm not afraid.

This rover crossed over.

If I never have-- wait, can we stop for one minute.

Please, this is not what I asked for.

Can I just have a quick word with the pianist?

That's OK, sweetie.

I don't think we need to hear any more.

Please?

We have a contact number for you, right?

Mm-hmm.

Good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And thank you.

Oh.

Hey!

Billie, wait.

Billie!

Hey, you forgot your--

I can't do it anymore, Marc.

I can't live month to month like this, you know?

And my ma keeps lecturing me on how

I ought to face reality and get a real job

and marry one of the jerks from the neighborhood.

All the guys I meet nowadays are either married--

BOTH: --broke, or gay.

Well, am I right?

You're right.

OK.

So get a job-job.

Who cares?

Does it mean you have to quit?

Maybe.

No, Marce.

My treat.

What is it?

Robitussin.

Drink up.

To your brilliant career.

Now, we're going to have to start talking about this

or-- or I'm going to have to quit too.

To your brilliant career.

Now, this is the only one.

We have to get to work in half an hour.

And until I meet my Prince Charming,

I need the Gardenia Room.

Well, excuse me, Miss Hayworth, I must go powder my nose.

Excuse me, darling, could we get some more nuts over here?

So anyway, I said to the guy, look,

if you're going to screw me on this deal,

at least buy me a drink and tell me I'm pretty.

What is she, deaf?

$20 says she disses us on the nuts.

Dude, you're so on.

Excuse me!

Mas nuts-os, por favor.

Here, take mine.

Thanks.

No shortage of nuts there.

I think she likes me.

So anyway, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, and the Pope

walk into this bar, right?

Excuse me, guys.

Back in a sec.

[GRAND BALLROOM MUSIC]

Billie?

Billie Golden?

Greg Ellenbogen?

I thought that was you.

Look at you, Mr. Businessman.

You look just like you did when you played

Sky Masterson in Northern High.

Yeah, sure.

Only now I'm old enough to play the part.

Come on.

Every girl in the gym was swooning.

Well, you look great.

So do you.

Do you want to dance?

[SLOW BIG BAND MUSIC]

So what have you been up to?

Excuse me?

I asked you what you've been up to.

Still asking?

Sort of.

I'm doing cabaret.

The show?

No, the genre.

Like Edith Piaf.

Great.

Where can I hear you?

Well, I'm between engagements right now.

How about you?

Last I heard you were the great public defender.

Yeah, well, I got a little tired of eating mac and cheese

and wearing the same suit five days a week.

We should get together sometime, catch up

on the old neighborhood and stuff.

Sure, that'd be great.

MAN: Greg, we're late.

Elevator's here.

Great.

I can't believe they made Whitman partner.

Could have sworn you were up next, Bogie.

That's OK.

My turn's coming.

The only reason Whitman got there first

is because he married that blonde chick from Greenwich--

perfect profile, you know?

That's what they're looking for.

Something for you to think about.

BOTH: Hi, Kyra.

I'm sorry, honey.

I thought we only--

Save it, Greg.

Come on, we're late.

Ricky, I said no onions.

Oh-- oh no.

Yes, I did.

Anyway, go on.

So anyway, they were alone in Kitty McKenzie's kitchen.

I mean, you have to understand, Greg Ellenbogen

was the most popular guy in the whole school.

Bra?

No, you don't understand.

I'm not exaggerating.

He was student body president, captain of the debate team.

I think he played football or something.

And of course, he was Sky Masterson in "Guys and Dolls."

And let me guess, you were Sarah Brown?

No, I was a hot box girl.

So anyway, there we were, in the cast party in Kitty's kitchen,

and he was, like, four inches away from my face.

And I thought he was going to kiss me.

And instead, he asked me if I thought Mary Tomasino would

go with him to homecoming.

Mary Tomasino?

Sarah Brown.

Oh, honey.

Always a hot box girl, never a hot box.

You don't understand.

I was just a chorus girl, and he was--

Greg Ellenbogen.

So are you coming over tonight?

I don't think so.

Look, Greg, I can't keep waiting around for you.

If you're not going to ask me, I need to move on.

I'm sorry, Kyra.

I don't think we're there yet.

Well-- well, then when?

Why aren't we?

Can you tell me one reason why?

I don't know.

You and me are really alike.

Maybe we need people who aren't like us at all.

Maybe you do.

Maybe I do.

GREG (ON MACHINE): Hey there, Billie.

Greg Ellenbogen here.

Uh, I found your number on an old class list,

if you can believe it.

Anyway--

BARBER: Looks good, Sal.

See you next time.

Well, lookie here, Laney Golden.

You got a lot of nerve, Sal.

My baby worked her ass off for you.

Laney, I know.

I'm sorry.

I had no choice.

You remember how the business is.

You're so greasy, you should come with a bottle of Dawn.

Hey, Ma.

Guess what?

There's an opening at Joey's salon for a receptionist.

Ma.

What?

You're perfect for it.

You should at least talk to him tomorrow.

Are you home for dinner tonight?

I got a chicken.

Sorry, I got a date.

Anyone I know?

Actually, remember Greg Ellenbogen?

Greg Ellenbogen?

Of course I remember him.

He's probably the Virgo from your past.

[MUSIC "TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT"]

[PIANO MUSIC]

[POLITE APPLAUSE]

Hey, Louie.

Can I get a Jack, straight up?

Do I know you?

I'm afraid not.

Really?

You look really familiar.

This isn't a pickup line.

You know what?

I'm waiting for someone.

Wow.

What'd I do to you?

If you must know, you sabotaged my audition last week.

Oh, that was you?

I'm sorry.

I don't know what happened.

I never do those kids.

But a friend of mine who's the booker on that-- you

didn't want that gig anyway.

I'm sorry.

You don't know what I want.

I went running after you.

They would have heard you again.

Look, I'm not even in the business anymore, OK?

So can I just get back to my drink?

You don't have one.

Excuse me.

Um, Dubonnet, twist of lemon.

I'd watch out for the lemon if I were you.

Come on, I said I was sorry.

You ought to go with the flow every once--

Didn't you hear me?

I said I'm out of the business.

Billie!

How much do I owe you?

It's on me.

Please, it's the least I can do.

Fine.

Exit Holly Golightly, enter Jack Daniels.

When I heard this place had music, I thought you'd like it.

Oh, I love it.

So is this the kind of stuff you sing?

Sort of.

It's a little jazzier than what I'm used to.

I like my standards so you can make out the melody.

Sorry, I sound like a moron, but you're going to have

to tell me what a standard is.

Oh, you know, Cole Porter, Gershwin--

Sinatra songs.

Sure.

Show tunes.

Exactly.

Oh.

I didn't know anyone under 70 even listened to that stuff

anymore.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

There's quite an audience for it.

Of course, I wish it was a bigger one.

Sure.

I mean, some of these songs they play on the radio

these days sound like nothing but noise to me, you know?

But with standards, I don't know, when I'm singing

those songs, it's like-- it's like the whole world

looks different to me.

Happier.

Or sadder, but-- it's not sad gray.

It's more like sad indigo.

Oh, gosh.

Listen to me.

You must think I'm really weird.

No.

Just different.

So your mom still up Northern?

BILLIE: Same old house.

How about yours?

Yours still off of Radcliffe?

No.

She's in Forest Hills now with my step-dad.

Step-dad, really?

Gosh, your folks always seemed so happy together,

I'm surprised to hear they split.

Yeah.

I think my dad's death had a lot to do with it.

Oh.

Sorry.

So Forest Hills, that's nice.

Yeah.

I help her out a little bit-- you know,

corporate law is a pretty sure thing.

You know, I lost my dad too.

Yeah, I think I did know that.

It was a--

Heart attack.

Right.

That was a while ago.

Fifth grade.

So did your mom ever--

Nope.

Do you think she ever will?

Nah.

I mean, I wish, but--

Well, she did a pretty good job on her own,

judging by the way you turned out.

OK.

I have a confession to make.

Should we run into St. Patrick's?

That won't be necessary.

So?

I don't expect you to remember this,

but we were at the "Guys and Dolls" cast party,

and we were in the kitchen together.

And you thought that I was going to kiss you.

I did.

Oh, I got nervous.

Nervous?

I didn't even think you knew who I was.

Oh, I knew who you were.

You were the cutest girl in the chorus.

Well, I'm sorry you got stage fright.

Can I have a second chance?

I never ask questions like this, but by any chance,

are you a Virgo?

How'd you know?

Just a hunch.

(SINGING) Your eyes of blue, your kisses too.

I never knew what they could do.

I can't believe that you're in love with me.

You're telling everyone I know I'm on your mind

each place we go.

They can't believe that you're in love with me.

I have always placed you far above me.

I just can't imagine that you love me.

And after all is said and done, to think

that I'm the lucky one, I can't believe

that you're in love with me.

I can't believe that you're in love with me.

[KNOCKING]

So are you ready for one last hurrah?

You look gorgeous.

What are you eating?

Tuna falafel.

Want some?

Oh, get out of here with that.

See you out there.

[PIANO MUSIC]

(SINGING) I'll go my way by myself.

This is the end of romance.

I'll go my way by myself.

Love is only a dance.

I'll try to apply myself.

So, what do you think?

Nice song.

Sad.

Yeah.

Maybe a little too sad.

[FLUBBED NOTE]

--like a bird on the wing.

I'll face the unknown, build a world of my own.

No one knows better than I, myself--

[PIANO OUT]

--by myself.

Alone.

Gosh.

OK.

[GAGGING]

Looks like the band took a break.

No problem.

I usually save this one for my encore,

but, um, we can move it up in the program.

(SINGING) Oh, when the saints go marching in, oh,

when the saints go marching in, oh lord,

I want to be in that number when the saints go marching in.

[POLITE APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

It's been a pleasure singing for you tonight,

and we wish you a pleasant journey wherever

your travels may lead you.

So sorry to leave you stranded out there on that number.

Oh, tuna falafel.

Well, what'd you expect?

You were great, though.

I didn't know you could play so well.

Me neither.

Bravo!

Oh, darlings, you were fabulous.

Billie, you're a full to quit.

Where's Greg?

Oh, Mr. Personality?

He's waiting for you at the bar.

Did my mom make it?

I haven't seen her.

Excuse me.

OK.

No, really, if I was terrible, you can tell me.

No, you weren't.

You were great.

I don't know if this place is anything to write home about.

Well, tonight is it.

SAL: Hey, Billie, can I have a quick word?

I'll be right back.

Got any Pepto-Bismol back there?

Hey, Sal.

What can I do for you?

Billie, I was thinking tonight, when

I saw you playing, TJ was right, people do come to hear you.

Now, I wasn't lying when I said I was

barely making ends meet here.

But if you could play for yourself, take some brush-ups--

Sal--

Now, hear me out before you tell me why you can't.

I'm going to close the place down for a little face lift,

open it up in a couple of months.

Will that give you enough time?

I don't know.

Give it a shot.

What have you got to lose?

Your father would have been so proud of you tonight.

[MUSIC "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

Sal, it's Billie.

Um, about your offer.

Yeah.

You charge only $25 an hour?

Oh, a first lesson.

800?

Do I have to get a series of 10?

Thank you.

Yeah, hi.

I'm calling about releasing the pianist within me.

Um, 32.

Red.

Oh, my god.

Pervert.

My mom.

Yeah, hi.

I'm calling about your ad.

Your ad?

About playing by-- (SHOUTING) about playing by ear.

Oh, you're having trouble with your hearing aid.

Uh-huh.

The home team takes it.

Hey, I gotta go.

What do you mean?

I thought we were going to spend the day together.

I told my mom that I'd swing by with you later.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm trying out a piano teacher.

Why are you driving yourself nuts with this piano thing?

I don't get it.

I need to give the singing thing one more shot.

At the Skylark Lounge?

I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything,

but you said it yourself.

The place is a dump.

Oh, Sal's fixing it up.

Babe, it's not that I'm not excited for you,

but I was kind of hoping that you'd

think about moving in with me.

You know, in the city.

Focus more on being here.

I-- I don't know.

I don't want to pressure you or anything.

Just I've never felt this way about anyone before.

And I think we understand each other.

I really do.

Well, you know, it's just something to think about.

[BIG BAND MUSIC]

MAN (ON INTERCOM): What?

Hi, it's Billie Golden.

I'm here to see Elliot Shephar--

[BUZZER]

I'm here for my piano lesson.

We gotta go up a few flights.

It's no big deal.

I do it all the time.

Just a little cold up there.

Don't worry.

I can't believe this.

This is unbelievable.

Don't you recognize me?

Yeah.

You're the Audrey Hepburn wannabe.

I'm sorry, this is not going to work out.

You know, sometimes you just to let things go.

Can't we just put that behind us?

It does seem kind of dangerous to tempt fate.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Well, this is the third time we've met.

It does seem like fate is trying to tell us something.

Yeah, telling me I'm not going to learn how to play the piano.

OK, let me get this right.

You need to learn to play the piano pronto,

or you're going to lose the only singing gig you've got,

is that right?

I may have mentioned that.

From what I can see, it's the only gig you've ever had.

Is that right?

Absolutely not.

OK, what jobs have you had?

You are a jerk.

Yeah, but I'm also a great teacher, and I can help you.

But hey, I'm not going to twist your arm.

Wow.

You can see yourself out, right?

Wait a minute.

This is amazing.

Yeah.

It's being used as a storage area, if you can believe that.

The super is letting me use it on the sly.

The piano's a little out of tune,

but she gets the job done.

OK.

Look, I came a really long way for this lesson,

so we may as well give it a shot.

OK.

Great.

Let's see what you've got.

We have exactly how long?

Six weeks.

Six weeks?

I told you it was an emergency.

OK.

Let's see what you've got.

Anything?

Anything.

[MUSIC "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"]

Stop.

Good.

Let's try a C major scale.

MARCY: So the guy's a total jerk, huh?

Total jerk.

You know, you can put up a sign for teachers at Equity.

Nah, I'm gonna stick with the guy.

I thought you just said he was a jerk.

He's a jerk with good rates.

So what you're saying is a jerk in the hand

is worth two in the bush.

What bush?

Not mine, heaven knows.

Marcy, grow up.

Yeah.

So, what do you think?

Well, she's definitely different.

Yeah.

It's sort of what I like about her.

Really?

So, you're a singer?

Yep.

You know, before I married Eric, I was a ballet dancer.

Really?

Do you still dance at all?

Ugh, no.

I loved it, but to be honest, I love this more.

And those people who say you can have both,

they don't know what it's like to be

married to a corporate lawyer.

How is everything?

Oh, it's wonderful, Annette.

Isn't the fall spectacular?

Welcome to paradise.

Hey, Ma.

What are you doing home?

Don't I live here?

I thought you were off Mondays.

I'm off Sunday now too.

I'm off every day.

What are you talking about?

When Dr. Parker got caught, they sent him to a nice resort

by a golf course.

Dr. Parker went to Betty Ford.

They didn't fire him.

Ma, what happened?

What'd you do?

I wasn't drinking.

For heaven's sakes, be honest for once in your life.

Well, if you were in my shoes, you'd need something

to take the edge off too.

Off what, your hangover?

Not that you'd even know, you-- Miss Head in the Clouds.

You traipse in here in your boas and gowns,

spending all your time with your pansy friends.

Greg will help us.

What are you talking about?

Greg will help us.

His friend is a doctor at Mt.

Sinai.

Maybe he can find you something up there.

Don't you scare that boy away now.

He won't get scared.

No, no, I mean it, Billie.

Don't you go getting yourself in a position with him

unless he's the one.

Well, I think he just may be.

ELLIOT: Right after the seven, back to the one.

After the circle of fifths, this is what's

going to get you through.

Try it in E major.

You have to concentrate, Billie.

I know I'm throwing a lot at you.

But we're under the gun here, so just concentrate.

Really, I'm concentrating.

I'm concentrating too hard.

Mm-hmm.

All right, look.

Where the cap forward or backwards, OK?

Forward or backwards.

You know, if you feel it necessary to comment on the way

I feel like wearing my cap, then you're

obviously not concentrating.

Try it in C major.

It's easier.

G sharp.

Sharp.

Use your middle finger.

First day with your new hands?

Your other middle finger.

This one?

Easy girl, it's just a chord.

Sorry.

Don't be.

You want to take a break?

No.

OK, fine.

Don't forget to pick up some Prozac on the way home.

Actually, I do want to take a break.

As a matter of fact, that's it for today.

OK, here we go.

Have you ever heard the expression quitters never

prosper?

It's cheaters never prosper.

Honey, if you want to learn to play the piano,

you have to have a little patience.

Well, I'm all out.

Can I be excused, sir?

It's your money, your career.

That's right, it is my money.

And my career.

We have three options here.

One, you can stay like an adult person.

Or you can leave like a child.

Or you can leave and reschedule like an adult person

who's acting like a child.

Which will it be?

Option three, reschedule.

OK, fine.

When do you want to come back?

I don't know.

When are you free?

Now.

I'm free now.

I know that you're really frustrated and really angry

with me, and it's fine.

What you need to do now is just let it go.

Clear your mind, and just play.

[PIANO CHORDS]

Good.

Take it up.

Good, again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Good, again.

[PIANO FLOURISH]

Don't get cocky.

Good.

Hello?

Billie, hey.

Hey.

Real quick, what are you wearing to dinner tonight?

Oh, I was thinking something sort of Betty Grable.

Um, listen, do you mind toning it down a little

on the whole costume thing?

Business.

Sure.

Great.

See you soon.

Bye.

Oh, Annette, did you get a chance

to catch that exhibit at the Whitney

I was telling you about? -It was absolutely spectacular.

Billie, have you been?

No.

Well, you have to.

I will.

You know that metallic with the barbed wire?

[GRAND BALLROOM MUSIC]

Why don't you and Greg share rent with us

at St. Bart's this Christmas?

That sounds like fun.

OK.

So St. Bart's is near Jamaica?

So what's up with you and your lady love?

Still in the picture?

Still in.

That's another 100 you owe me, pal.

Dude, what's the deal?

I mean, what's the hold up?

Should we hire the moving trucks or what?

I don't know.

I asked her to move in with me, she blew it off.

Uh-oh.

I mean, I think she's just distracted

with learning the piano so she can

keep doing this cabaret stuff.

Is she any good?

I mean, are you dating Celine Dion here?

She's pretty good.

Stick a ring on her finger, she'll stop working.

Buy a baby grand, tell her she can

sing at your dinner parties.

Martin Smith's wife does Shakespearean monologues

when you go to their place.

They're looking for a cabaret act.

It's here in Manhattan.

And it's a million times better than the JFK motel.

Skytel.

Whatever.

OK, but who's going to play for me?

TJ's got that gig in Florida.

For God's sake, Billie, just use whatever pianist

they have there.

I can't.

The last time I did that--

You hired the guy as your teacher.

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

So ask him.

Ask Elliot.

No.

I don't know if that's a very good idea.

What's the matter.

Don't want to let him see you sweat?

Eight bars.

I can't believe they did that to me.

They didn't even let me see my money note.

I don't have a money note.

All right, Elliot.

Was I that bad?

Really, was I?

-You were fine. -Please, do I stink?

I gotta go.

Does the song stink?

Can you tell me, please?

I--

Thank you.

Good.

That was good.

Should I do it again?

No, that was fine.

Like my audition the other day.

That was fine too, right?

Look, I'm sorry about that.

You could have said something.

Well, I figured you may have gotten the hint when they

cut you off after eight bars.

So-- so what am I doing wrong, huh?

Tell me, what am I doing wrong?

Why do you sing?

I don't know.

Why do you play the piano?

Because 15 years ago, I was a pothead high school dropout

living in the back of a van.

And then my grandmother died and left me a piano.

And from the second I started to play,

I realized that there wasn't anything

that I lived or thought or felt that I

couldn't put into my music.

You know what I mean?

Uh-huh.

I do.

So what do you feel?

Is this going somewhere?

What are you feeling?

Well, doctor, I feel frustrated and anxious.

And frightened.

I feel like there's a lot that I want

and like maybe life's gonna pass me by.

I mean, for Christ's sake, my mother is a pill-popping drunk,

we're about to get evicted, and I've

got to learn to play the piano for myself

or I'll be a waitress living in Queens for the rest of my life.

Good.

Now, that's what's inside you.

Now, you want people to listen to you

sing, you want to blow them out of the room,

then you've got to move past the false eyelashes

and the secondhand dresses.

Forget about being Billie Holiday.

Start being Billie Golden with the pill-popping mom

and the collection agencies and everything else.

That's where you go to find your music.

That's a tall order.

Yes, it is.

And that's what separates the goods from the greats.

Maybe I'm not that great.

Sh, sh, sh.

Don't.

How do you know?

Just stay there.

I was fooling around with "Anything But Love."

Here it is.

I messed around with the arrangement a little,

but I couldn't help it.

OK.

Sing your song.

[PIANO INTRO]

(SINGING) I can't give you anything but love, baby.

That's the only thing I've plenty of, baby.

Dream awhile, scheme awhile, we're sure to find happiness

and I guess all those things you've always pined for.

Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell, baby.

Diamond cuff links Woolworth's doesn't sell, baby.

Till that lucky day, you'll know darn well, baby, I can't

give you anything but love.

Well.

What time is it?

I-- I gotta go.

I promised I'm going to cover for them.

I forgot.

I owe you extra for today.

You don't owe me any extra.

No, don't be ridiculous.

Well, don't be stubborn.

I'm not being stubborn.

I want to pay you for your time.

You can pay me next time.

See you Thursday.

Thursday, right.

Thank you for today.

You're welcome.

I had a wonderful time.

Me too.

(SINGING) It's a most unusual day, feel

like throwing my worries away.

As an old native-born Californian would say,

it's a most unusual day.

There's a most unusual sky, not a sign of a cloud passing by.

And if I want to sing, throw my heart in the ring,

it's a most unusual day.

There are people meeting people.

There is sunshine everywhere.

There are people greeting people and a feeling

of spring in the air.

It's a most unusual time.

I keep feeling my temperature climb.

If my heart won't behave in the usual way,

well, there's only one thing to say.

It's a most unusual, most unusual, most unusual day.

[PIANO CHORDS]

That's it.

I don't know what else we need to work on.

You're in great shape.

Thanks to you.

What time's the first show tomorrow night?

No, there's just the one show-- then the big reopening

night party, remember?

I know I invited you.

Aren't you going to come?

I can't.

I have this-- I have a wedding I have to do.

Well, could you get a sub?

I need the dough.

No, I understand.

We could get together after.

After the party?

Mm-hmm.

It'll be late.

So?

Um--

Billie Golden, do you have a boyfriend?

Mm-hmm.

That guy from the restaurant that time?

Mm-hmm.

Is it serious?

Mm-hmm.

You never mentioned it.

Well, it has never come up.

I mean, do you have a girlfriend?

Not really.

No.

I should go.

Yeah, I have a big day tomorrow too.

I'll definitely let you know how it goes.

Good.

Do.

And I'll need to be back for some brush-ups.

I mean, it's not like I can really play, right?

You know where to find me.

Aren't you going to come down with me?

I-- you go ahead.

I'm going to practice a little bit.

Well, good night.

Bye.

Elliot, you're not a Virgo, are you?

Sagittarius.

Why?

Just wondering.

I got pleasure singing for you tonight,

and I wish you a pleasant journey wherever

your travels may lead you.

[APPLAUSE]

Billie Golden, ladies and gentlemen.

Woo!

Billie!

You were great tonight.

Sorry your mom couldn't make it.

Hey, come on over here.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Congrats, sweetie.

You were marvelous.

Where's Greg?

Oh, I haven't seen him.

SAL: Billie!

I'm going to catch up with you later?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll be waiting at the bar talking to that guy

in the green blazer.

He's only been divorced twice.

Here she is, the star of the show, Billie Golden.

Ron Salzman.

Hi.

Ron here's a scout for Cliff Mendelson.

The Cliff Mendelson?

The.

Wow.

So I have a little opportunity to discuss

with you, Miss Golden.

Greg, listen, this guy wants me to audition

for Cliff Mendelson.

Well, he's only the most important

cabaret booker in the city.

No, I know you didn't miss it on purpose.

I never said-- hello?

Greg, I'm losing you.

You're breaking up.

Hello?

Yes, I told you, brunch tomorrow with Suzy and Annette is fine.

I won't dress funny.

OK.

I love-- hello?

Hello?

Hello?

ANNETTE (VOICEOVER): Billie, why don't you

and Greg share a rental with us at St. Bart's this Christmas?

SUZY (VOICEOVER): They don't know what it's like to be

married to a corporate lawyer.

Welcome to paradise!

[SALSA MUSIC]

You've been real quiet.

Is everything OK?

Good.

Actually, Greg, there is something

I think we need to talk about.

Look, if this is about the other night, I told you,

I feel like a real shit-for-brains.

It isn't about that.

I mean, I'm crazy about you, Billie.

You know that, right?

Anyway, you can't be mad at me right now because I've

got a little surprise for you.

Greg.

OK, close your eyes.

Can I close them in a minute?

No, you gotta close them now.

Why?

I need to talk to you, Greg.

Come on.

Just close them.

You're going to spoil the whole thing.

I don't want to close my eyes, Greg.

It makes me dizzy.

Please, just for a minute.

OK.

One, two, three.

Open.

I want you to be my wife, Billie.

Will you marry me?

I-- I don't know.

You don't know?

What do you mean you don't know?

I'm just a little overwhelmed.

This is so unexpected.

Unexpected?

Not exactly what I was expecting either.

I mean, don't you want to be Mrs. Billie Ellenbogen?

OK, so what's the problem?

Am I missing something here?

Did I miss something?

Can you stop pacing, Greg?

You're making me anxious.

Anxious?

You're not the one that just got down on one knee.

I can't think right now.

I can't think about this.

There's so much happening all at the same time.

Like what?

Like the opening.

And now this audition for Cliff Mendelson.

Oh, for Christ's sakes, Billie, be realistic.

This cabaret thing, it's a dead end.

Dead end?

You said it yourself.

In cabaret, even if you make it, nobody knows who you are.

What about Edith Piaf?

What about Edith Piaf?

You've heard of her.

Who cares about Edith freakin' Piaf?

Didn't she OD and die on the can?

That was Judy Garland.

Who cares?

And by the way, I hate to break the news,

but you're no Judy Garland.

How on earth would you know?

All I'm saying is that Judy Garland

was already a star at your age.

I mean, isn't anyone who's famous in show biz already

a star at your age?

It isn't about being a star, Greg.

Babe, I know this is hard to hear, believe me.

You don't think I know what it's like to give

up something you love to do?

I loved being a public defender.

But there just comes a time in life when

you've got to be realistic.

And you don't have to give it up completely.

What did you have in mind?

I mean, really, Greg, if you don't believe in me,

why do you want to marry me?

Oh, I believe in you, Billie.

I just--

So where do you think I should sing?

Tell me.

I want to know.

To me.

To our kids.

To our friends.

I mean, I don't know.

Can't we just rent a hall?

(SINGING) --to you.

CLIFF: Brava.

Brava.

[POUNDING]

Let me in!

He loved me!

He loved me!

Who loves you?

Cliff Mendelson.

He said, brava.

He actually said, brava.

Is he going to get you a gig?

He said he'd call soon.

Congratulations.

We have to celebrate.

Oh, that's-- no.

Oh, it looks like you're already celebrating.

Oh, I'm sorry to bother you.

I should have called.

No, I'm-- I'm playing another wedding.

Wow.

Great.

I'm sorry to barge in like this.

Um, we'll talk soon.

You want to come?

To the wedding?

Yeah, sure.

Why not?

What'll I do when I get there?

I don't know.

Mix, mingle, sing with the band?

Are you serious?

Yeah, why not.

Let me think about it a minute.

OK, yeah.

Great.

The band's downstairs.

Oh, I told Greg I'd call him.

Can I use the phone?

Can you call him when you get there?

Yeah, yeah.

Let's go.

(SINGING) Dancing in the dark till the tune ends.

We're dancing in the dark and it soon ends.

We're waltzing in the wonder of why we're here.

Time hurries by, we're here and gone.

You were great.

You weren't so bad yourself.

So Elliot, I was thinking, if anything does happen

with the Cliff Mendelson thing, would you possibly consider

being my music director?

I'd love to.

I would.

BAND MEMBER: Hey, Elliot.

We're heading out.

You coming?

Yeah, Rene.

Go ahead.

It's all right.

I'll get a car service.

Charge it to the bride's dad.

Sure.

So you were saying?

I would love to help you.

I would, but I got a job.

Wow.

Yeah.

No, that's great.

What is it?

Well, it's not so much what it is as where it is.

Where is it?

I have been invited to be the regular pianist

at a cabaret in Berlin.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's great.

Yes, it is.

Yeah.

I mean, what good is sitting alone in your room?

The money's great.

I've always wanted to travel.

No, it-- I'm so happy for you.

When do you go?

Two months.

How long will you be gone?

A year.

Look, I won't go if you don't want me to.

What?

I won't go if you ask me not to.

Elliot, you can't turn this down for me.

That's crazy.

I know.

Well, I don't even know if the Cliff Mendelson

thing is going to happen.

It has nothing to do with work.

You know that.

What about Berlin?

And what an amazing opportunity to travel.

I am in love with you.

Elliot, we haven't even--

Now we have.

You sure I can't convince you to come up with me?

I need to go home.

Want me to go with you?

No, I need-- I need to figure out

what I'm going to say to Greg.

Poor bastard.

Call me when you get home.

I will.

Good night.

Thanks so much.

It's the last house on-- oh my god.

I stopped by to tell her how great you were the other night.

And I could hear the TV on.

And I just kept knocking and knocking.

I got worried.

And the door was open so--

Sal, thank god.

I'm glad you were there.

[KNOCKING]

Miss Golden?

And if she isn't insured?

There are some state-funded clinics,

but I can't say I recommend them.

Billie!

Greg.

You OK?

It's my mother.

She was drinking, and she took some pills.

I know.

When you didn't show up tonight--

Greg, I can explain.

Forget it.

Sal called me--

I had the audition and Marcy had a crisis--

-I came as fast as I could-- -I had to talk to her--

Don't worry about it. How is she?

Is this your husband?

No.

Maybe.

DOCTOR: Well, I'll come back later and check up on her.

Is everything all right?

I don't know.

She needs rehab, and she isn't insured.

Plus the stay here.

Don't worry about it.

I'll call my friend.

I'm sure he can find a place for her somewhere.

Greg, I can't ask you to do that.

You didn't ask.

I offered.

Greg--

Sh.

Listen, when I said that I wanted to take care of you

for the rest of your life, I didn't just mean

when things were going well.

I meant always.

What happened to your coat?

Oh, I forgot.

I was in a bit of a rush.

Well, welcome to paradise.

RON (ON MACHINE): Hi, Billie.

Ron Salzman here.

Look, I just wanted you to know how very much Cliff enjoyed

hearing you this afternoon.

Anyway, Cliff wanted me to tell you

that he's not really booking any new talent right now.

But definitely-- you should definitely

keep in touch with us.

Send us a flyer when you have something up.

Hey, I'm sorry we don't have anything for you right now,

but hey, it's a tough biz.

I left you a million messages.

I'm sure they're all from me.

Is everything OK?

Hey.

Hey.

Everything's gonna be OK.

I missed you, babe.

Have you given my proposal any more thought?

Hello.

I didn't hear from you all day.

I was worried.

Listen, I want you to listen to this.

I have been-- I have been kicking

this around a little bit today.

That's lovely.

Elliot, it's complicated.

Can I just explain?

Go.

Can I explain, please?

Just-- just go.

I'm so sorry.

[CHURCH BELLS]

Then we'll see you at 7:30.

OK.

Sal, I didn't know you were coming in today.

It's my usual.

What's this?

It's a piece of cake from Billie's farewell party.

I wanted to congratulate you on your new job.

Thanks, Sal.

You know, if you want to come over later, I baked some ziti.

Oh, thanks, Sal.

But I got Billie's bridal shower.

Oh.

Maybe some other time.

Yeah, some other time.

PEGGY: Oh, that's mine.

If you don't like it, I'll be happy to exchange it.

Oh, look at that.

I love it.

I just love it, Peggy.

Thank you so much, Peggy.

Oh, I am the luckiest mother-in-law

in the whole world.

What does that say?

Oh.

Be.

What a lovely message.

How zen.

No.

No, it's her new initials.

Billie Ellenbogen.

Oh, right.

Don't forget mine, Billie.

So Marcy, how do you know Billie?

Your husband doesn't work with Greg, does he?

No.

I'm single.

It's terminal.

Ever since Billie and I broke up,

I just sort of gave up hope.

Are you single?

Oh, Annette, I love it.

OK.

Thank you all so much.

Yeah, hi.

Uh, listen.

Can you tell-- do you-- does Billie Golden still work there?

The last paycheck.

Thank you.

I-- I know I wasn't always perfect.

Let us hope you make a better wife than waitress.

Don't be jealous, Amboise.

Someday your prince will come.

You, Miss Marcy, are on thin ice.

I thought you might like to take Miss Kitt her tea tonight, no?

Really?

Think of it as my wedding gift.

Thank you.

Stingy bastard.

I heard that.

All right.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi, sweetie.

What are you doing here?

It was his idea.

I thought it might be nice if I saw the show on your last night

as a working woman.

Great.

Well, you want to meet up in the lobby after the show?

See you then.

All right.

Enjoy it.

[HUMMING]

Hello?

Miss Kitt, I brought your tea for you.

Thank you.

You have a lovely voice, my dear.

Thank you.

I presume you are a singer.

Yes.

I mean, I was.

You were?

I was.

(CHUCKLING) But singing is not something you

catch like the whooping cough.

And do you sing elsewhere other than my dressing room?

Actually, I just finished an engagement

at the Skylark Lounge.

The Skylark Lounge?

That's in Philadelphia?

On the way.

I see.

Two sugars, please.

And when is your next engagement?

Well, the only engagement I have right now is to my fiance.

Thank you.

How nice.

Men are impossible.

But of course, you already know that.

So I'm learning.

It's very hard to make a marriage work

when you're already married to your music.

Some people manage it beautifully, brilliantly.

But unfortunately, I have never met them.

Is he your soul mate?

I didn't mean to put you on the spot.

Who knows why we choose the people we do?

As long as you hear the same music, that's all that matters.

Thank you for the tea.

You may go.

Sorry.

Oh, and good luck on your marriage.

Thank you.

You're going to need it.

[APPLAUSE]

What a wonderful show.

She was fabulous.

I'm so glad you liked it.

Can you hold on one second?

I just want to say goodbye to someone.

What are you doing here?

They wouldn't let me in there without a coat and a tie.

You look great.

Well, why are you here?

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Well, then I guess I came in the nick of time, huh?

Elliot, please.

You can't do it.

You can't marry him.

You don't have to marry me, but you cannot marry him.

You're an artist.

He'll never understand that.

Elliot, this really isn't a good time.

Could I call you later?

You're going to call me later?

Look at him.

Just look at that.

Is that what you want with your life?

Are you drunk?

No.

I am not drunk.

Hey, what's going on?

This a friend of yours?

It's not too late, Billie.

Tomorrow it will be too late.

What the hell is going on here, Billie?

Who is this guy?

No one.

Thank you.

My piano teacher.

Who?

My name is Elliot Shephard.

I'm in love with Billie.

Could you give us a little space here, please?

Are you fucking kidding me?

What the hell is going on here, Billie?

Listen to me--

Hey, take your hands of my fiancee.

Get back in the room.

You're ruining three lives, Billie.

Think about that.

Please, this is not a train station.

Allons-y.

What a sicko.

What was that?

We can't go through with this if there's someone else.

Oh, Greg. No, no, no.

There's no one else.

That-- that was my piano teacher, I swear.

Nothing ever happened.

No-- how was I supposed to know he was obsessed with me?

I just hope you're telling me the truth, Billie?

Greg, I love you.

I promise, I do.

OK.

Come on.

Let's get you two ladies a can. cab.

MA: Sweetie?

Hey, Ma.

So?

Pretty fancy, huh?

Shouldn't you be getting ready?

We're supposed to be at the church.

I don't think I can go through with this, Ma.

Every bride gets the jitters, honey.

It's natural.

No, it's more than that.

I don't think I made the right choice.

You have made the right choice, honey.

Greg's a wonderful man.

I did your chart, and it says you're going to have

a very happy life together.

For Christ's sake, you're not listening to me, Ma.

This is my life we're talking about.

And I don't think I should get married

knowing that I lied to my husband

the night before the wedding.

Is this about that boy from last night?

Because if it is, I can tell you,

you're making the right decision marrying Greg.

I don't think we hear the same music.

What are you talking about?

Look, I don't expect you to understand.

Dad would have.

Billie, I'm serious.

You don't know what you're talking about.

No, it's true.

Dad would have.

He didn't sell out his dreams like you did.

I think it's about time I set you straight about your father

once and for all.

I don't want to have to listen to a bunch of your lies.

Yes, you are going to listen to me.

You're going to listen to what I have to say because I

love you too much to see you make the biggest

mistake of your life.

Let me tell you something about your father.

He didn't have a heart attack.

What?

Every night after the show, he'd be down at the Skylark

playing that god damn piano and drinking until closing time.

And every day, he'd sleep till noon and piss the day away.

And I kept telling him, we're never going

to get anywhere with this act.

But he wouldn't listen, and he wouldn't listen.

Until one day, he comes home and he says to me,

he says, he realizes we're never going to get

any further than this club.

And I remember, I ran over with you to grandma's.

And I said to her, thank the lord.

He's finally going to get a real job and face facts.

But he didn't want to face facts, Billie, because while I

was over there singing his praises,

he drank a bottle of scotch with so

many different pills they don't know what killed him first.

We told everybody it was a heart attack.

But me and the doctor, we knew the truth.

And now you do too.

So don't talk to me about who had dreams.

And don't go telling me about who is on your side.

Shut up.

Just shut up.

[KNOCKING]

MA: Billie, we gotta be leaving for the church soon.

Are you going through with this or not?

[CHURCH BELLS]

What a picture.

What do you say we get you your last breath of fresh air

as a single woman, OK?

Come on.

You've barely said a word all day.

Are you OK?

It's not too late, Billie.

You don't have to do this.

I'm OK.

Excuse me, Miss Golden.

Places for the wedding scene.

[MUSIC - LENA HORNE, "LOVE"]

I do.

I do.

Billie, with this ring, I thee wed.

I pronounce them husband and wife.

EARTHA KITT: As long as you hear the same music,

that's all that matters.

[NO AUDIO]

No music.

What?

No music.

[APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC - WEDDING MARCH]

Billie!

Billie!

Billie, what are you doing?

What happened?

Honey?

Congratulations.

Is she sick?

GREG: Tell me what's going on, babe.

I know I said I do, but I don't.

You don't what?

I don't want to marry you.

We are married.

Then I want a divorce.

She's kidding, right?

You're kidding, right?

Billie, you don't have to do anything crazy here.

This isn't crazy, Greg.

Marrying you is what's crazy.

Maybe I should have them hold hors d'oeurves.

You can hold hors d'oeuvres, can't you?

I'm sorry, Greg.

We don't hear the same music.

Billie, you're hysterical.

You have to calm down.

Do whatever you want, Billie--

For Christ's sake, can we have some privacy here, please?

I'm not hysterical.

I'm just not going to be your wife.

But your horoscope said--

Forget the horoscope, Ma.

Forget the god damn horoscope.

All my life you've been telling me,

oh, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not following my chart.

Well, I'm making my own chart now.

So-- so what if I want to live my life like it's

some kind of technicolor dream?

Am I hurting anyone?

And maybe I won't end up in a-- in a house in the Hamptons.

And maybe I will live in a world where even if I make it

no one knows who I am.

But I'll know who I am.

I'll know who I am.

God, she's fabulous.

But I love you, Billie.

I do.

No, you don't love me.

You love a part of me.

And I love a part of you.

But that's not enough.

I'm gonna go now.

Billie!

Manhattan.

Aren't we missing somebody here?

Yes, and he lives at 525 West 31st.

Let's go.

Pay up.

Dude, she bolted.

I'm not paying anything.

Yeah, But she made it to the altar.

Pay up.

So what do you think of that?

Do you have a hanky?

Sure.

I'm sorry, I gotta go.

You crazy, lady?

Elliot, it's me!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Can I help you?

Where is--

If you're looking for the guy who used to live here,

he moved to Germany.

Oh, he-- I didn't know he--

But hey, you want to, uh-- see what I've done with the place--

No, that's OK.

Sorry to bug you.

Anytime.

(SINGING) I can't give you anything but love, baby.

That's the only thing I've plenty of, baby.

So I got you in for the same time next week, all right?

Terrific.

How am I gonna watch for girlish figure?

I'll watch it for you.

You Libras are all the same.

So diva, care to join us mere mortals for a drink?

I'd love to, but I'm beat.

I gotta go to bed.

You know, you play pretty good for a girl.

Hey, so do you, TJ.

Guess what.

I have a callback tomorrow for "Carnival."

The cruise line?

The show.

That's wonderful.

Keep your fingers crossed.

I'll call you when I'm done.

OK.

Come on, butch.

Good night, sweetie.

Night night.

Good luck.

Don't I know you?

I don't think so.

Are you sure?

You look very familiar?

Really.

That's not a pick-up line.

Either where the cap forwards or backwards.

Forwards or backwards.

(SINGING) Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell, baby.

Diamond cuff links Woolworth's doesn't sell, baby.

Till that luck day, you'll know darn well, baby, I

can't give you anything, I can't give you anything,

I can't give you anything but love.

It's been a pleasure singing for you tonight.

And we wish you a pleasant journey wherever

your travels may lead you.

Thank you.

[APPLAUSE]

[GRAND BALLROOM MUSIC]