All language subtitles for 1 1 Real.Time.with.Bill.Maher.S24E05.480p

Start the clock.

You know why you're happy today?

The Supreme Court has finally said no to
Donald Trump on Trump.

It's true.

The Supreme Court, you know, said they
struck down his request to have

powers to impose tariffs. They said yes
to pretty much everything he wanted to

do, but here they were, finally said,
you know what, don't fuck with the

Trump took it very well. I'm joking, of
course.

He went batshit about it, of course,
that it was a disgrace of these fucking

courts.

He's such a Karen. You know, I mean,
everything he does...

Everything is always, I want to

speak to the manager, and the Supreme
Court said, we're the manager.

After this whole year of tariffs that
we've been going through, have you been

thinking to yourself, you know, why
didn't other presidents think of doing

and not confiding in Congress when their
constitution says they have to? They

did think of it. They thought it was
illegal.

So they didn't do it.

Now, the president says there are other
ways he can get what he wants with the

tariffs. I don't know what they are.

If you've ever been to Washington, D
.C., and you've seen that majestic

Court building, it's going to make a
lovely ballroom.

That's all I can tell you.

Or maybe when he says that it was just a
joke. We don't know.

No, that's the thing. I found this out
last week. Oh, boy, did I find it out.

You have to know when he's joking, and
it's not that easy.

This week, for example, he was talking
about Melania's movie, which actually

better than people thought. And he said,
you know, she could be a big movie

star. And there's not room in one family
for two stars.

Joke. Joke. Okay, that's a joke.

I think that's... Okay. Because now...
See, now... Because now it's our job

to tell which is a joke and which are
the things that are just part of his

sometimes batshit agenda.

Okay?

We have to know this. And I didn't know.
See, like, I woke up Saturday morning

to a blistering social media text from
him. Went on and on.

Valentine's Day, by the way.

He was very mad at me because I didn't
get his joke about how China is going to

make Canada give up hockey.

I didn't. You know, I think we're going
to have to workshop that one for a

while.

So he went off on me and said, you know,
the dinner we had was a waste of time.

Well, I didn't think it was.

And that I'm a jerk and I'm a low
-renting lightweight and all this shit.

Because I never stopped criticizing him.
I never said I would.

And I know how women feel now. A guy
buys you dinner and then expects you to

out. Okay?

I'm not that guy.

And, of course, he accused me of having
Trump derangement syndrome.

Okay, we're off next week. The next
week, our show, I think March 6th, we

back. I'm going to address this at the
end. His whole long spree. Yes, and

that I don't have Trump derangement
syndrome.

And a lot of other stuff he said that
wasn't really true. That, you know, I

immediately asked for a drink.

Okay.

I immediately wanted a vodka. Okay, it
was a margarita.

It was not a vodka, and it wasn't
immediately. I had a drink before

people do.

He said I was nervous and scared, no
confidence.

Bullshit. It's so funny because, you
know, I got so much shit from the left

reporting honestly that in person he was
very different, very nice, very

gracious. And then he says, no, he was
scared.

I can't.

I'm like the Democrats with an election.
I just can't win.

You know, I...

President has bigger things on his mind.
All the ships are in place now around

Iran. Do you know this? For this, what
looks like an imminent attack on Iran.

Interestingly, right where we're doing
this, he had the first meeting of his,

you know, he has this new board of
peace.

He had a meeting of the board of peace
and he told them, make this snappy, I

a war in the oven.

Which I'm not against.

See, I don't have Trump's arrangement
syndrome. We'll see how it goes.

And, boy, this war, though, this Iran
thing has people very nervous. The price

of gold, you know, this always happens
when people went through the roof. It's

over $5 ,000 for an ounce of gold.

The other day, Sidney Sweeney was
wearing gold earrings, and he had to

somebody, my tits are down here.

The other big story, I'm sure you saw
this, the artist formerly known as

Andrew was arrested and held for a few
hours, then let go, unlike the girls on

Epstein Island.

Unlike the girls on Epstein Island.

And this is so interesting. They got
Prince Andrew for giving trade secrets

away.

Child sex ring? Well, whatever, but you
crossed the line with trade secrets.

Apparently, Prince Andrew tipped off
Epstein that there were lucrative mining

deals to be had in Afghanistan.

Oh, funny mix -up. There was a party on
Epstein Island, and Prince Andrew asked

if he could bring a bunch of miners.

All right, we've got a great show.

We have Representative Lauren Boebert
and Texas State Representative James

Tallarito. But first up, he is a legend,
pure and simple. If you don't believe

me, watch the Paul Anka His Way doc on
HBO Max.

And his new album is Inspirations of
Life and Love. Paul Anka!

Again,

I'm seeing you.

How you doing?

That never gets old, does it?

Never. Yeah, we do, but not that.

You do.

Well, that's true. I mean, people half
your age are half as busy. I mean, you

have a new album out. You have a tour.

A tour you're going to go on. You're
doing a Broadway show about your life.

meddled in the Olympics, I believe, last
week. Yeah.

You're dating Doja Cat, is that correct?
That's over.

That's all.

But she did put out your song on TikTok,
did she not? She did. Put your head on

my shoulder.

Put your head on. That's unbelievable.

But she didn't sing the original version
the way I wrote it, which was put your

legs on my shoulders.

I was 17.

You can relate to that, Bill.

I think we can all relate to that.

That sounds more like a Doja Cat song.
That's pretty funny.

Did you ever think you'd be on TikTok?

I never thought I'd be on TikTok, and I
never thought I'd be sitting here

talking to you.

When I started out as a kid, all I
wanted to do was write, and I worked at

local newspaper.

I was in school for grade 10 for a
couple of years, unfortunately, and I

writing. And when it hit for me, once I
went to New York, and I said, this can't

last. I mean, the dream just came true.
And I was for four years wondering, what

do I do from here?

Because I really didn't believe that it
was going to last for me. But the

gravitas of being the writer kicked in
for me.

And I realized that if you were the
writer, you had a chance to last.

And that's what I did. I focused on the
writing. Yeah, I think one thing you do

not get credit for is... You know, there
was a revolution in the music industry

at some point. I mean, before they say
Dylan and the Beatles, that's usually

they think the revolution started with.
And the revolution I'm talking about is

back in the day, nobody ever thought a
singer was the person who would write

songs for themselves. It just wasn't
done.

There was songwriters and there were
singers who did them.

Frank Sinatra never wrote a song. Elvis
never wrote a song. I think he took

credit on one. I don't think he wrote
it.

I'll leave that alone.

Okay.

There's an old adage when we started.

Write a word, get a third.

Yeah. So all the young writers that
started, anybody that added a word or

they ripped them off and took a third.
But you were writing your own material

before Dylan and the Beatles.

Well, nobody would listen to me, so I
was forced to write. Right. And I was

writing, and I realized early in the
game, Bill, that the writer was

In anything.

Without the writer, there are no
singers, there's no lawyers, there's no

there's no record companies, there's
nothing.

So I respect those that write and
create, because without them, there

be anything that we see.

I mean, there's a few reasons why you're
still out there doing it. And if people

say to you, you know, why have you
lasted?

I think I can answer that. One.

You can still sing.

Now, I'm not going to mention names.

Please do.

No, because it's not flattering.

But there are some of the heroes of my
youth, musical heroes of my youth, who

are, you know, 70 and up.

I'm sorry they can't sing, which is
unfortunate because they still sing.

You can still sing.

To let you stop him, it sounds just like
you always did. I saw in the

documentary you did the new version of
My Way.

It was New Year's Eve.

Yes, on Times Square. Times Square.

We wrote it for the event that day. You
built it out just like you always have.

You know, you take care of yourself.

And it pays off later in life. And I've
always lived a certain lifestyle.

I did not.

You know, hanging out with the Rat Pack
in Vegas, as I did, I learned things,

what not to do and what to do.

So between the drinking, the gambling,
the women, and everything else, I had a

choice. And I realized those guys who
were the best, Sinatra, they were the

best. I learned from them.

You know, every night it was cigarettes
and smoking and women and everything.

The women I liked. I hung in there.

That's not bad for you. I love them.

As a teenager, I got really short
-changed. I was unattractive. I was shy.

couldn't get with girls.

And as soon as I had my first hit
record, the floodgates opened.

And when you work in Vegas, there was an
enormous amount of lumbering going on

that manifested itself with girls that
were just incredible.

They were all showgirls, and it was a
fun fest all the time. How did we get on

to this from staying in good shape?

As I continue to do it, it keeps me

in good shape.

Right.

Listen, I don't want to get into ageism,
but folks...

Don't live whatever your age is. Forget
about it. Keep the old man out. If you

feel good, you take care of yourself.

Just live your life. Live the moment.
Time is your asset.

Forget about age. Do whatever you want.

Yeah, you're single now, right?

Pardon? You're single now.

I am single now.

Single and ready to mingle?

I've always been a mingler.

I mean, it's funny, you know, you've had
so many lives when I watch this

documentary. I mean, I knew all of them,
but the documentary is so great because

it puts them all together. I mean, of
course, I knew that you were the teen

guy. You were the put your head on my
shoulder guy.

And then my favorite period, because it
was when I was in my 20s, the 70s.

Rat Pack guy with, you know, all those
great songs. Good morning yesterday.

How's your life? Having my baby.

Oh, having my baby, which I could relate
to not at all.

But I still love the song.

And how about I'll never get married?

Right.

What a terrible way to tell you. What a
thought.

But hold me till the morning.

Yeah, it comes.

Guy's got it on his brain today.

It could be worse.

But, you know, then you were also the
guy who wrote My Way, you know, which

is... Well, Sinatra was

inspiring. You know, what happened there
was I had dinner with him in Florida.

He was doing a film.

late 60s called Lady in Cement. I
remember it. And by that title, with the

that we worked for, it could have been a
documentary.

He took me to dinner and he said, I'm
quitting showbiz. I've had

enough. Rat Pack's over.

I'm tired. But I'm doing one more album
with Don Costa.

He never wrote me a song.

Now, Costa was the guy that found me. I
give him all the credit.

And I introduced him to Sinatra.

And I said, really? He said, couldn't
he? He never wrote me a song.

You know, when I hung with him, I wasn't
going to give him Puppy Love or Lonely

Boy. He would have thrown me out a
window, you know.

And I went back to New York, and I'm in
my apartment, midnight, and I start

writing metaphorically.

And now the end is near.

And it wrote itself.

It wrote itself.

Five hours later, I called him at
Caesar's Palace.

I said, sir, I've got something for you.

He said, bring it out.

I flew out.

The next night I sang it to him.

He said, Kid, that's my nickname, Kid.

He said, I love it. I'm going to do it.
Two months later, he called me from a

studio in Los Angeles.

He said, Kid, listen to this.

He took a phone, and he put it next to a
speaker, and I heard My Way for the

first time.

And it was such a hit for him, he stayed
10 more years.

Yeah.

You're Canadian.

Yes, sir. It struck me odd that a
Canadian would write that lyric, though.

is that?

I did it my way. It's so Trumpy.

You know, I did do a my way version for
Trump at Mar -a -Lago. I used to work

for him.

And I wrote it for him.

I think it was his birthday, but there
was something going on. And he announced

back then he was thinking of becoming
president.

So I rewrote this lyric of My Way for
him, which I've done all over the world,

from Putin, the White House. And it's
something that I do with My Way.

So it's a song that I have fun when I
rewrite it. And I'll do it for you when

you get married.

Wow.

Which means I don't have to write
anything. No, you're safe on that.

But I also love the stuff he did with
Michael Jackson. You know, I remember

that song came out. Yeah.

Love Never Felt So Good. Well, This Is
It was the first one. Okay. Before Love

Never Felt So Good. But Love Never Felt
So Good is the one that I... I said, why

didn't they release that? Michael must
have been high on the propofol that day.

Because... Oh, shut the fuck up.

Because it's such a great record. Yeah.

But it's because you and he wrote it
together, and then they put it in the

vault, right? Well, what happened was I
wrote it with him prior, and we were

supposed to finish it together, but he
chose to...

not finish the project because Thriller
took off and he, I don't want to say

stolen, he borrowed the tapes out of the
studio and I couldn't get my music back

till finally we got it together.

It was in a drawer for many, many years.

When he passed, they went into his house
and found all of these songs, one of

which was This Is It from his special,
which was the first one.

Then they called me up.

And said, we found another song called
Love Never Felt So Good.

So great. I said, well, I wrote that
also.

I said, oh.

Then Drake heard. I had another one
called It Don't Matter to Me, which was

Michael's last record. And he came to my
house.

And he said, I'd like to finish it with
you. And we finished It Don't Matter to

Me. And that was the last record we did
with Michael. So on the new album, I

noticed you do three Sinatra songs.

Yes. You do When I Was 17.

Correct. Right. And you do.

What was the other one? Let Me Try
Again. Let Me Try Again, which I didn't

realize until I read it. You wrote that
with Sammy Kahn. Yes. Also from a French

song. That's correct. Like My Way.
Correct. And then you redo, I mean, one

Frank's big hits, That's Life. But you
changed the last line.

It's my last question. I'll let you go.

No, I don't want to go yet.

Good.

If you don't remember the thing, though,
you know, one of Frank's big, I've been

a puppet, a pirate, a poet, I saw a pawn
in a king, I've been up and down, over

and around, I know one thing.

That's my sex life.

Well,

what I did, Bill, what I did, Bill, this
album is about life and love.

I listened to a bunch of songs.

that i could put in this very special
mood with a large orchestra the lyric of

that's life when you strip it from the
rhythm and blues vibe that it had it

really played well and we did it with
the symphony in budapest And it's one of

my favorite tracks because it's so off
the wall of the chance that I took with

it. And I really like that track a lot.
You changed the last line. Yes. It's

iconic, that last line. If things aren't
shaking this July, I'm going to roll

myself up in a big ball and die.

Correct. And what did you change it to?

I didn't do anything.

Yes, you did. I left it out.

No, you... I said... I'm going to get on
a big bird and fly.

Yes, I'm going to get on a big bird and
fly.

Well, that's different than die.

And not the... But I didn't want to end
it on that kind of a note. Okay, good.

Did you really listen to that album? I
love it. Love all your stuff. Thank you,

sir. I appreciate you being here.

We'll see you again, I hope.

All right. Paul Anka, ladies and
gentlemen, let's meet our panel.

Okay. Hey, how you doing?

All right, here's our panel. He is a
Texas state representative who's

running in the 2026 Democratic primary
for U .S. Senate, James Tallarico.

causing a lot of consternation. And she
is a Republican

congresswoman who represents Colorado's
sports district. Lauren Boebert is here

with us. How you doing?

Okay, let's get to, this is a big story
today. Trump, I said a few weeks ago, I

said, we're going to find out about the
Supreme Court with the tariff issue. If

they go along with this, then we really
do not have three branches of

government. Well, I think it's good news
for America, but I want to get your

opinion on that. You know, both sides
change definition of words all the time.

mean, the left changed violence to
anything we don't like.

They changed woman to, I'm not sure
what, but they changed that one.

No one's been able to answer that yet on
the left. Yeah, that's been a tough

one. Trump changed emergency to anything
I want to do and not have to get

Congress involved.

And the Supreme Court said, no, that is
not how it works in this country,

including two people who he appointed.

Good day for America?

I think absolutely.

I do agree with the Supreme Court's
ultimate decision here. I don't think

comes as too much of a surprise.

But the three branches of government are
not supposed to work symmetrically. I

don't believe that they have equal
powers. They are separate and not equal.

There are different functions and
different roles.

Congress is first.

You are right. Article 1 is Congress.
And I do think that we have a role in

this. But President Trump is stopped
by...

the judicial branch, the judiciary
branch, very often.

And I think this could harm America.

We were seeing great results from the
tariffs. But if we're going to just

the names and the terms, well, let's do
what the leftist politicians do, what

Democrats do, especially in my home
state of Colorado, and call it something

else, like a fee.

We have taxes that the citizens vote on.
However, on top of that, it's fee after

fee after fee that no one ever takes a
vote on. Yet we are forced to pay

whatever that fee is. So maybe instead
of... Yeah, we live in California.

You don't have to tell us. Yes.

So maybe President Pelosi should start
imposing these fees.

Okay.

literally stop any trade that he wants
and prevent anything from coming in, I

think that he should be able to dictate
the terms and not allow America to take

an advantage of it. Now we're in
opposing view.

I'm really glad that we're starting to
see checks and balances in our

again.

My only disagreement is, at least in
Texas, these tariffs have been driving

prices. A lot of people in our state
voted for President Trump for one reason

and one reason only. They thought he
would lower costs.

And people took a chance on him because
they thought he would get the economy

back on track.

And a year later, he's done the exact
opposite. And I think in large part

because of these crazy tariffs, we have
seen the price of food going up in our

state, the price of groceries.

And you add that on top of...

the rising cost of child care and
prescription drugs and higher education

housing, it is locking people out of the
American dream.

And so I don't think this tariff regime
has been productive.

I don't think it's been useful. And I
think it's hurt a lot of people,

a lot of people who voted for the
president in 2024.

Under the Biden administration,
certainly prices went through the roof

inflation was unbearable. And President
Trump has done a great job of getting

the economy back to a more stable place.
It's not where it needs to be by any

means. And you talk about child care
going up. Well, maybe that's due to some

leering centers here and there.

But, you know, we've got to get this
under control in a reasonable way. And

prices are down. Food prices are going
down. It was so much higher under the

Biden administration.

The studies have shown, maybe it's fake
news, you know, that they

did cost the average American $1 ,000,
the tariffs, which would make sense.

And certainly there were goods that were
more expensive because of that, because

there are tariffs involved. We're
charging people more money. But look at

tariff on China.

President Trump said, well, one of them,
I'm going to charge you 20 percent

tariffs on your goods because you are
making money sending fentanyl into our

country and killing American citizens.
So I'm going to.

tariff you more than what you are making
on the fentanyl that is killing

Americans. And we have seen a huge
decrease in the fentanyl poisoning that

taking place. Colorado was number two in
the nation for a long time.

Well, like many of the things he does, I
mean, the idea behind it is not always

bad. But you can't do it without
consulting the Constitution.

I just want to say one more thing, and
then we'll move on to Sunday night.

But this idea, because a lot of people
stop me all the time, Bill, the world is

so insane now. Well, it always has been,
and yes, there is that. There's a lot

of insanity going on. But just to calm
yourself down a little about the checks

and balances thing. This is from the New
York Times. Hundreds of judges around

the country have ruled more than 4 ,400
times since October that Donald Trump's

administration is detaining immigrants
unlawfully. 4 ,400 times.

Then this is from the New York Times.
Lawmakers have systematically brushed

many of Trump's most severe cuts. The
result is a set of annual government

expenses that do not appear radically
different than what he inherited a year

ago. EPA, they wanted to cut it 54%.
It's cut 4%. HUD, they wanted to cut it

44%. It's plus 9%. CDC, they wanted to
cut it 41%. Minus

1%. Education, they wanted to...

Get rid of it altogether.

It has a 1 % increase.

So things are not quite as crazy as you
think they are. And apparently our

system is still somewhat still working.
The boat is leaky, but it ain't sunk.

All right. I want to ask about Marco
Rubio is in Munich. This has become a

thing every year. They all go to Munich.
Boy, it's like the new Iowa primary.

And he said, we are part of one
civilization, Western civilization.

Now, I want to first of all say
something about Western civilization.

Kids, you don't know what the fuck it
is.

No, really, they think Western means
white and white means bad.

Kids, first of all, everything bad that
white people did, people of color did it

too. The Japanese before World War II
and during World War II and Genghis Khan

and I could go on and on.

The left is very down on America, very
down on the West.

And it's ironic because the West has
also given us everything that makes your

life good here.

Don't ask Billie Eilish or Chapel Roan
about what the Western values are

they'll just say it's about oppressing.

But it's not about oppressing.

It's about rule of law.

It's about respect for minorities.

It's about democracy.

It's about scientific inquiry. These are
all good things that came from the

Western world. I wish that schools would
teach that again.

But Mr. Rubio said, we are part of one
civilization, Western civilization,

to another by the deepest bonds.

And he mentioned shared history,
Christian faith, culture, heritage,

common civilization.

I want to ask about the Christian faith
part.

You two are going to line up against me
now.

You ready for some Holy Ghost? I am.

I know you two are very devout
Christians, but I think we're going to

that doesn't always mean the same thing.
I don't think Christian faith belongs

in this list as much. Now, certainly the
Western canon comes through countries

that had Christian faith.

But it's not what brings us together.
It's enlightenment values, the ones I

mentioned. I mean, I know you disagree
with this vehemently because you think

this should be a Christian nation and
Christian nationalism is now a big

And part of it, they've done surveys on
this, and most Republicans say...

We should declare a Christian nation.
This should be declared a Christian

nation. I think this is absolutely not
what the Constitution says.

Law is based on Christian values. Being
a Christian is an important part of

being truly American. I vehemently
disagree with that.

So, with all... Interesting.

I do believe that we were founded on
Judeo -Christian values, and certainly

we don't need a religion as a whole to
govern our country.

Are you reading a quote from me?

I mean, well, yeah.

You say the church is supposed to direct
the government. Yes, I do believe that.

I do believe that. I don't believe
that... I'm tired of this separation of

churches. Yes, let's go there.

So that is not in the Constitution, as
so many people think, this separation of

church and state. No. With Jefferson,
no. This is in the Federalist. This is

letters that Jefferson had written. This
is not in the Constitution. And I'm not

talking about the First Amendment.

It does not say separation of church and
state there. Not in those words. And so

we don't want a church -state.

and say this is the religion you must
follow i absolutely believe in freedom

religion but where are we going to as a
whole get our morals from and that's

what our our country being founded on
judeo -christian values gave us a sense

agreement of these are the values the
moral standards that we will be governed

by and govern ourselves by in this new
country and i think it had a great run

and then there's so many different
flavors put on on christianity and so

different viewpoint that it certainly
has been diluted, and then you get a mix

of other religions in, which is... So
being Christian is an important part of

being truly American. You would also
disagree with that? I do believe that

goes to the roots of our foundation,
absolutely.

Our founding fathers were Christians,
and... But you can be truly American

without being Christian. You certainly
can, and I do think that it's...

Where do you stand on all this?

You know, my granddad was a Baptist
preacher in South Texas.

My faith is very important to me.

He told me when I was real little that
as Christians, we're supposed to follow

Jesus' two commandments to love God and
love neighbor.

And there was no exception to that
second commandment. Love thy neighbor

regardless of race or gender or sexual
orientation or immigration status or

religious affiliation.

And so in Texas, I'm constantly battling
Christian nationalism, a build that...

forces every public school teacher to
put up a poster of the Ten Commandments,

bill that replaces school counselors
with untrained chaplains, a bill that

have taught Christian Bible stories as
historical fact to our youngest

And I always speak up on behalf of my
Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Sikh,

atheist neighbors because I, as a
Christian, we as Christians, are called

love them as ourselves.

And forcing my religion down their
throats is not love.

America is not a Christian nation. It is
a nation where you are free to be a

Christian, or any of those other faiths,
or no faith at all.

And I recognize that the phrase
separation of church and state isn't in

Constitution, but the Establishment
Clause and the Free Exercise Clause in

First Amendment clearly create.

a separation between church and state.

And many of our founders were deists,
which I think a lot of the far right,

the religious right in this country
would probably call them not real

Christians, given their beliefs.

And yes, they blended Enlightenment
thinking with a Christian background

something that I think a lot of far
right Christian leaders would not

in this day and age. So I think it's
just important that we...

We remember our true history, and we try
to honor that promise of America, of a

melting pot, of e pluribus unum, out of
many one.

It's a promise we obviously haven't...
ever fulfilled, but it is one that we're

still trying to fulfill. I think we've
done a good job of it. I just want to

make one point here.

So you're doubting legislation to have
the Ten Commandments in school and

certain biblical stories taught as
facts.

Well, when I went to school, there was
Greek mythology that we were required

you know, learn and study about. Now in
Colorado, we have comprehensive sex ed

where as young as kindergarten, I mean,
children are taught all of these things.

You can be whatever gender you want. to
be, and that is being forced down their

throats, the sexualization of our
children. I would much rather my

the Ten Commandments that basically just
gives a moral standard rather than

saying you can pleasure yourself and
here's how to an elementary.

Here's what I would disagree, because I
don't want indoctrination of any form,

whether it comes from the left or the
right in our schools. I want education,

not indoctrination.

And my problem is seeing politicians in
Texas force everybody to put up a poster

of the Ten Commandments when they don't
even follow the Ten Commandments

themselves.

We should be trying to follow those Ten
Commandments rather than trying to force

people to put up a poster because to me
that indicates a dead religion. If you

have to force people to put up a poster
to prove your legitimacy, that means we

don't have a living faith anymore. And
so I think this is not just a threat to

democracy. I think it's a threat to the
church because that separation doesn't

just protect the state. It protects the
church because when the church gets too

cozy with political power.

It loses its prophetic voice, its
ability to speak truth to power, and

what that separation is. It's what it
protects, and it's why Christians,

including many Protestant Christians,
fought for that separation, because they

believed it benefited them. We've got to
get back to that in a second.

So, there was a very important
development this last week that I have

mention. Robert Kennedy went on a
podcast, and he said, I'm not scared

He said, I'm not scared of a germ. You
know, I used to snort cocaine off of

toilet seats.

Did I mention he is the Secretary of
Health and Human Services?

He didn't inhale.

Bill, he didn't inhale.

Even the worm in his brain went, that's
dude. That's gross, dude.

It's just pointing to this, I think,
important fact, which is that this is

way politicians act nowadays.

I don't know about you two, but it's
like you have to get ahead.

People like emo these days. They like
you to be confessional. They like to

about your personal life. It used to be
you had to be buttoned down and deny and

be this separate person. No, they don't
like that. They like it just like we do

in show business. Tell them everything.

So we have found out that a lot of other
people have been going on podcasts and

giving their confessions. Would you like
to see some of them?

These are all people getting ahead of
the game, boy.

Like, Chris Christie took a page out of
Robert Kennedy's book, and he said, I

once ate half a jelly donut I found on a
port -a -potty floor.

You see, he's way ahead of it.

The Pope said, I find communion wafers
dry, but they're still better than

Chicago -style pizza.

Mondani, the mayor of New York, said, I
always cry at the end of Red Dawn.

Hillary Clinton said, during the
Benghazi attack, I turned my phone off

Dance Moms.

Our governor, Gavin Newsom, said, anyone
can be a sex addict in L .A. Talk to me

after you've been a sex addict in
Sacramento.

Pete Hengstaff said, I'll vote for AOC
just because she used to be a bartender.

I dressed up like Margot Robbie's
character to see Wuthering Heights.

could have been for any reason. We don't
know what that means. We don't know.

Oh, the president, Donald Trump, said
sometimes I truth out long takedowns of

friends if they don't text me back
quickly enough.

Travis Kelsey said I'm sick of finding
cat hair all over every fucking thing.

This whole time I've had Jews confused
with Italians.

And bad bunny. To be honest, I can't
even understand what I'm saying.

All right, so...

I

want to ask one more thing about
religion. And before I do, I want to

know, people know you now. They are
getting to know you. I'm just getting to

know you.

And you're just running in the primary.

You're just running in the primary in
Texas, not even the main battle.

Why did you catch fire so much, and why
are you not Beto 2 .0?

Because people are always saying, Texas,
we're going to turn Texas blue, and now

you're the newest guy to do that. What
is it, what do you think that has got

everybody so interested in you? Well,
I'm an eighth -generation Texan, so my

family's been in the state since it was
Mexico.

And we are seeing a growing backlash to
the extremism and the corruption in our

government all over the state. I have
been traveling every corner of Texas.

So many people have been coming out to
these events, particularly a lot of

people. And I can't tell you how many
people come up to me afterwards and

whisper, I'm not a Democrat, like it's
some kind of secret.

And so we are, I think, trying to build
a movement that includes Democrats,

independents, and Republicans.

to try to take back our state and take
back our country.

And there are a lot of people across our
state that really want someone who's

going to focus on them for once.

Because right now you've got people in
high elected office who seem more

concerned with padding their bank
accounts or accumulating more power.

And no one seems to be trying to make
life easier and better for people.

I've served for four terms in the State
House in Texas as a Democrat, which is

not an easy place to work in the Texas
legislature.

And I've stood up to my Republican
colleagues when I feel like they're

harmful things.

But I also know how to work across the
aisle to actually get stuff done. So if

you get elected, you'll be working
together. Can you work together?

Yeah. First, I want to ask, do you ever
stand up to your Democrat Party? I do.

Because sometimes that is the most
difficult thing to do. And I have stood

my own party on issues more than I have
Democrats. So have I.

Right. And I do want to congratulate you
on the success so far in your campaign.

Maybe I should endorse Jasmine Crockett
so you could do a little better.

That's who you're running against,
Jasmine Croft. Right. But I do think

why he and the Democrat portion of this
primary is doing so well, because his

opponent is so radical, so extreme.

Just a false identity, came from one
place, pretends to be from another.

And it's just so radical and extreme.
Now, I want John Cornyn out.

I do not want him in the Senate. He's
not conservative enough for you. No.

Wow. No, not at all. No, me neither.

Got to get him out.

What a hippie.

I certainly want a Republican to win
that, you know, a tip Roy to be AG.

But thank you for doing your best to get
rid of Jasmine Crockett for the rest of

us. Well, I just, I mean, I am in a
primary with Congresswoman Crockett, but

and I.

our friends we've served together. We do
have different approaches to

campaigning and politics, but we are
both trying to fight 30 years of one

rule in our state, which has led to the
extremism and the corruption I was just

talking about. We're trying to do that
here in California, too.

One -party rule, whether it's Democrats
or Republicans, always leads to

extremism. Absolutely.

Okay. Last issue, because I know this is
important to you and it comes up every

week. And I, by the way, again, talking
about taking it on the chin, I do as

much as I can here. I apologized to
QAnon a couple of weeks ago. I said, you

know, when it comes to this Epstein
stuff, you had it brighter than me. Now,

they also believe a lot of real batshit
nonsense.

For now, you think it's...

They don't eat babies. Democrats don't
eat babies.

You think they eat babies? There is a
lot of consumption talk in the stuff.

Are there babies?

I don't know. No, you can laugh all you
want.

But, I mean, there is some sick stuff in
here that is implying... But that's not

eating babies.

I'm not saying they're eating babies.
I'm saying there is talk of consumption

and it ate pizza.

And I'm not saying that I am QAnon by
any means, but this is deep, dark,

satanic, awful, sacrificial, and this
stuff is gross. See, this is what I'm

saying. Here I am, sacrificing myself,
saying, you know what? I was wrong,

QAnon, and then you don't meet me
halfway.

You insist they might be eating babies.

I just want to hear some questionable
stuff. Here's what it is.

QAnon said there's this vast elite
around the world conspiracy to, you

traffic kids and pedophiles, and they
were more right than I thought they

Okay? So that's what I'm giving you.

And it wasn't just Prince Andrew in the
parlor with the dildo, okay?

QAnon was wrong about... One big thing,
they thought Donald Trump was the one to

take down this secret pedophile ring.
When he is mentioned 38 ,000 times in

Epstein file, he flew repeatedly on
Epstein's private jet and then lied

it. He sent Epstein a happy birthday
card with a picture of a naked woman

talking about their, quote, wonderful
secret.

So the fact that QAnon thought that guy
was going to take down the secret

pedophile ring when he's right in the
middle of it, I think was.

Clearly wrong. Who is the president
right now?

President Trump. Who signed the order to
release the files?

President Trump did. There's a lot of
pressure from folks like you to make him

do that. And I'm proud to have done so,
but he also signed it the same day it

was passed. To be fair, I don't have
Trump derangement syndrome.

This also came out that the sheriff in
Palm Beach testified that in 2006,

Trump called and said, Everybody knows
what's going on there. When I saw, I got

the hell out of there, and you should
stop doing this. So, like, Trump, he's

own worst enemy.

Instead of, he should have just said
that. Instead of saying, I never knew

I have my picture taken with a lot of
people, he could have just said that to

begin with. It would have been a much
better version. I think everyone can

the rollout of this was... Awful,
horrendous, damaging.

And now we have what we have. Even when
I go to the DOJ, there's still

redactions underneath the redactions
that I'm supposed to view completely

unredacted files.

Now, do I want to see underage children
images of them? No. But there are names

that are still redacted, and we are
still working to get that information.

But, you know, I'm happy with the
transparency so far. I hated the rollout

it. Glad we're here and we're finally
getting accountability.

There's arrests happening.

Prince Andrew to start. And I hope
there's more to come. Okay. Thank you

much, you guys, for a lot of fun. Time
for Newell's.

All right.

Okay.

Newell, the Pennsylvania Girl Scout who
shattered all records by selling over 81

,000 boxes of cookies, has to tell us
her secret.

Oh, who am I kidding? We already know
what it is.

Location, location, location.

Even more impressive, six of them were
thin men.

Okay.

New World, the women who keep putting up
billboards and buying ads on taxis and

holding up signs in public about how
they want to find a husband have to try

this. Hang out at a Comic -Con
convention for five minutes.

You want to meet a guy who'll be happy
to find a woman? I got you.

Give these players a chance, because
that is a lightsaber in his pocket, and

is happy to see you.

Our new Olsen's NVIDIA CEO, Jason Wong,
is one of the richest people on the

planet. He has to buy a second outfit.

Look, I know what you're... I know what
you're trying to say, that I'm one of

the cool tech titans. And it's true.
This does make you look cool.

In Milwaukee in the 1950s.

New Rule, I know Olympic skating is an
art form, but can we all admit this guy

is also thinking, and after, you're
going to do me, right?

Now that Meta has patented a way for AI
to run a dead person's Facebook account

so they can continue to post and chat
from after they're dead, it has to not

do that.

You're dead. Let someone else talk.

I miss the innocent days when the
phrase, the Internet is forever, just

don't send pictures of your dick.

And finally, new rule, since the State
of the Union Address is next Tuesday,

let's get rid of the State of the Union
Address before Tuesday.

And here's why.

Nothing has misled the American people
to the warped belief that the president

can act like a king more than this
stupid, boring, performative after

speed from hell, where the sergeant at
arms announces the president like he's a

king.

Mr. Speaker, the president of the United
States.

And he walks into the room like Conor
McGregor heading into the octagon.

Members of Congress lining the aisle
like medieval peasants hoping to touch

royal garments, and then he proceeds to
tell Congress what he wants them to do,

making it look like the president is in
charge of everything, and it's he who

sets the agenda. But that's not what it
says in the operating manual.

You know, the Constitution.

Article 1, Section 1, all legislative
powers herein granted shall be vested in

Congress of the United States. Not
mostly.

Not unless the president has a really
bitchin' idea.

Nearly half the words in our
Constitution are in Article 1. That's

Congress and all the stuff they're
supposed to be in charge of. The

power to make laws, declare war, tax,
tariff.

Even organize the other branches.

Congress creates the laws. The president
is just supposed to execute them.

Execute. Like the executor of a will.

He doesn't decide the deceased's wishes.

He just makes sure they're carried out.
But you'd never know that from the State

of the Union speech, which has become
the president's big Etsy wish list for

America.

For example...

In his 2023 address, Joe Biden proposed
the Junk Fee Prevention Act, a proposal

that would ban excessive fees taxed onto
concert tickets, outlaw airlines from

charging families a fee to sit together
and put an end to resort fees.

These are all great ideas and totally
not the president's job to propose them.

Again, he's just the enforcer.

If Congress passes that law, and then we
find out Delta is still charging

families to sit together, by all means,
Pete Hegseth, send in the 101st Airborne

to crack skulls.

But don't get it mixed up. The star of
this

movie we call American democracy is
Congress.

The president is at most up for best
supporting actor.

No wonder America... It's no wonder that
Americans think

the president controls the price of
eggs.

Nearly a third think he controls gas
prices and the unemployment rate. One in

four thinks he has control over interest
rates and consumer prices.

And the hosts of Fox & Friends think he
can change the path of hurricanes.

Well...

Well, what do you expect when we have
this big ballyhooed annual event that

looks like the president's royal wedding
to himself?

It's everything George Washington did
not want, because Washington knew the

Constitution, and nowhere does it say
the president has to get up before

Congress every year and bloviate on and
on like he's the slightly drunk best man

at the rehearsal dinner.

You know?

It only says that he shall from time to
time give to the Congress information on

the State of the Union. In other words,
an occasional status report, like a

Facebook update.

Washington's first State of the Union
was 833 words. It was hardly worth

throwing his wig on for.

It lasted all of ten minutes. Chuck
Grassley barely had time to get settled

his seat.

Our third president, Thomas Jefferson,
stopped doing it in person altogether,

did all the presidents for the next 112
years.

They just wrote a brief report.

Even they understood nobody likes a
meeting that could have been done by

Jefferson didn't want a speech to
Congress because he thought it was too

like the King of England's speech from
the throne and that it sent the wrong

message. It did. It still does.

And I shudder to think where this trend
will lead and hope it is not to a

president so emboldened by our royal
treatment of him that he thinks he has

right to do whatever he wants.

Then I have an article, too, where I
have the right to do whatever I want.

Yes, Trump acts like a king, but don't
lay it all on him, because we have been

moving in this direction for a long
time.

For example, the Constitution explicitly
says only Congress can declare war, but

we've effectively gone to war dozens of
places in the last century, and Congress

only declared it twice.

Otherwise, Congress treats presidents'
intent to send troops to fight somewhere

like a user agreement that pops up on
your phone. Just click it.

Just click it.

You're not going to read it.

And if you did, you wouldn't understand
it. And if you did understand it, it'd

still be tricking you. So just click it
so you can get back to watching a TikTok

of a toddler saying motherfucker.

Motherfucker!

Motherfucker.

Look, we are all collectively to blame
here.

for allowing the very design of this
country to slowly become inverted.

And we would be lucky in this age of
imperial presidency if some president

someday didn't come right out and say,
we need a dictator.

Sometimes you need a dictator.

All right, I give up.

I give up.

Well, then how about this for a reason
to get rid of the State of the Union?

It's embarrassing.

The stunt casting, the costumes, the
heckling, the dick -sucking when he's

making his way to the stage.

And worst of all, the advertising to the
whole world. The state of our union

actually is hopelessly divided.

That's the real state of our union. You
can tell because neither party anymore

can even clap for the other one, no
matter how benign the statement.

Here's Biden in 2023 saying...

Political violence has absolutely no
place, no place in America.

And here are the Republicans sitting on
their hands.

That's where we are. They're
politicians, and they can't even give it

shooting us is bad.

Thank you very much, ladies and
gentlemen.

We're off next week and back on March
6th. I want to thank State

James Tallarico, Representative Lauren
Boebert, and Paul Anka. Club Random

every Monday on YouTube or wherever you
get your podcasts.

Now go watch Overtime on YouTube, if you
please. Thank you very much, ladies and

gentlemen.

All right. Thank you, guys.