Original subtitles

What now?

I think I have to go to the bathroom.

After that?

More this.

After this?

More this.

Without the cake.

Aren't we supposed to be getting a career now?

I hope not.

They said we need to be productive members of society.

I don't even want to be a member of society.

They said it would make us happy.

Happiness isn't that great.

I was happy once and I felt worse when it wore off.

I want to try it.

Jobs take away your happy. They take your soul and your body and your brain

your feet and your hands. Jobs don't make you happy.

Money makes you happy.

What happened to our money?

They took it for four years in a row.

How do we get it back?

We need to get jobs.

What? We need to get hired.

Okay. We don't quit. That sounds impossible.

Then we get fired. We can do that.

What? We can do better than being employees.

We can be unemployed.

We need to find gainful unemployment and the best way to do that is to get

fired.

What?

I've been dreaming of this since I was a little girl. The dream that money truly

does grow on trees.

Whoa.

Free business lesson.

Money don't grow on trees.

I see.

Nothing on your application.

No work experience.

No references.

Just got two patties here who list each other as their emergency contacts.

No last names, even.

It's blank.

I know.

My last name is blank, so I left it blank.

She's patty with an I because she's illiterate.

I thought I was patty with a Y.

We went to college. I'll put that on there.

People don't want to hire college kids.

College kids just want jobs so they can quit and say they're overqualified.

College kids know they can do better. We know we can't do better.

Hi, this is Craig.

No, I'll be home.

I should be home at the regular time.

I can get home a little bit earlier than normal, and I'll pick up whatever you

need me to pick up.

Well, I don't have... You didn't give me the checkbook.

You didn't... No, I didn't mean to put that on you.

What I meant is I forgot to get the checkbook from you.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Yeah, there's petty cash from work that I can take.

No, it's not the first time I've done it.

I should go.

No, and no one else is here. I just want some silence.

Okay.

That was... That was a business consultant.

What kind of work are you looking for?

Whatever will like us the least, as quickly as possible.

One -zero.

Why'd you quit?

If you put me in a situation where I can quit, I'll quit.

I can't help it.

I'm a quitter.

Well, quit that.

Quit being so good at your job. They gave you employee of the month on the

day.

And now I have to quit too.

No, you don't.

What's the point of having a career if you aren't there?

You. You. Me. Yeah.

What do you mean if I'm not there?

You mean like, I don't exist?

Like, I'd be lonely.

But do I exist?

Did that hurt?

Patty?

Me or you?

Do you feel anything?

Not usually.

I'm gonna put you both in a factory.

We won't let you down, Craig.

It's Greg.

Are you sure?

Greg.

Greg.

Get the hell out of here.

So you're quitting?

We're getting fired.

Looks like you're quitting.

You can take your suits, put them in the laundry.

Get down to the NS room. Bill's there.

He'll clear out your key card. And you'll get your payment the week of the

I'm getting fed up.

Can you tell?

Okay, all right. No more quitting.

Aye, aye.

Boy Scouts honor.

Right here.

Really? As hard as you can.

Don't be gentle.

100, 99, 97, 96, 95,

94, 93. I'm ready.

See how un -gentle that was?

Why would anyone fire us?

If you eat this cookie, you will choke and maybe die.

Peg is gonna be so mad.

God has most likely forgotten about you.

We all get that one.

You will find great disappointment in your leave life.

What's a leave life?

L -E -V -E. Life.

I'd always thought I'd be not disappointed when I leave life.

I always thought I'd find great... Pointment.

Maybe it's supposed to say love life.

Do we have a love life?

No.

Do you love me?

I leave you.

I leave you too.

Last chance.

Mess this up?

And it goes on your permanent record.

Isn't this a temp agency?

I'll delete you from the system.

That sounds great.

It'll be like you don't even exist.

That's us, all right.

You won't ever be able to get fired in this town

again.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Whoa.

That's it.

It's over.

No more Craig.

happier now than when we started. You stole that line from me. What? I say

all the time.

We'll never be productive members of society.

I have an idea.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I know. I'm sorry.

It says here you're looking for jobs.

They say they're infected with some kind of moth virus.

They say it can make your skin melt.

Make your erection go to hell.

A virus like this, it could be the end of us all.

You're going to need to wander around a bit to find all of them.

Everything's marked.

It might spread, so don't touch nothing.

And try not to breathe too much either.

How?

Hold your breath.

I'm on the side of the curb.

I'm standing on the curb.

I'm coming out.

I'm taking my time out.

I'm about to escape.

What is that?

I don't know.

Is it a trick?

I don't know.

What are we supposed to do?

I wasn't listening.

Is it real?

This? That.

Maybe we're dreaming.

Is anyone watching us?

He drove off.

Are we on camera?

No!

They're infected.

What?

I think the guy said that they're infected with a virus that'll melt your

and it'll turn your brain to pus and then it'll ooze out of your ears.

No. Yes.

No. Yes.

No. He said they were marked.

I didn't hear that.

Look!

Uh... It's infected.

I think we're supposed to chop it down.

But there's an X on it. Exactly.

X means don't. X marks the spot.

Yeah. The spot where you don't chop.

No. X means this one. This one here, it's marked.

X marks the spot, not don't chop. Yeah, don't not chop the not infected one.

Exactly. Yeah, I know.

Wait.

Shit.

There's like... $273

here.

Yeah.

He said there were more. Yeah.

Patty. Yeah?

We could make, like, $400.

You've never even seen what $400 looks like.

Maybe even $4 ,000.

How much are we making today, Patty?

$10 .15 an hour, with an opportunity to be hired on after 90 days to get a 25

-cent raise.

I have a proposition for you, Patty.

What is that proposition, Patty?

Is my skin melting?

Is there pus oozing out of my ears?

You feel anything?

That overwhelming sense of dread?

That's washing away.

It's working.

Money's making you happy.

Not melting.

Yet.

He said it would make us happy.

It did.

It wore off.

And now I feel worse.

The job didn't make you happy either.

Because we got lost after like 15 minutes.

I think we got fired after 15 minutes.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I guess we did it.

Yeah.

We did it.

Wait. Hold on to this.

Don't look at your hand.

Look at the flower.

It'll be a distraction.

I just look at it? Think about it.

Like it's a... symbol or something.

Of what?

I don't know.

How... beautiful you are.

And smart.

And how...

The rest of the world gags me except for you, and so now I love the world

because you're always there.

That cuts it off.

I hope this never wears off.

Are you okay?

It's not itchy anymore.

Good.

Do you have to be a man to get workman's comp?

I think so.

Dang.

We should go.