Original subtitles

Thank you.

Smash me, I'm a doctor. Damn pigeons.

Come on.

Show me.

Show me. Show me.

I am a doctor.

Show me.

Dr.

Hardy. He sure needs you.

Hey, Saturdays. It's a full moon tonight.

Don't do werewolves. You've got jelly on your lips. Here.

Heart attack.

Heart attack.

Oh, my God. Stephanie, help me, please.

Help me. Help me.

I've got to, I've got to.

Bastards. I'll get you. I'll get you.

We've got a real nasty one here.

Complaining of extreme stomach pain.

I'll get you. I'll kill every one of you. Two orderlies report to reception

that... Watch it! He's loose!

You should be hearing from him momentarily.

Not defined.

Your people think you have the right to push people around. Well, you're messing

with the wrong man, lady.

I worked in three hospitals one year, and I know exactly how you operate.

You're not going to push me around.

Is he bothering you, Ratch and I?

Must be the psychopath they're bringing in. He's a rapist and a murderer. We

have strict orders to keep him under tight security.

Does he work here? I don't like you. I don't like you. I don't like you.

You think you can hold me?

Nothing can hold me. I've gone out of every institution I've ever been in.

I hate you. I hate nurses, women in white, saints of the earth. I hate

everybody. I'll kill you all.

My tummy hurts.

I see. Do you have medical insurance or will this be cash?

Huh?

C. Waldo Room 3 maintenance.

Excuse me, I'm here about the job. Hey, you ain't charging.

Fill this out.

Bring it back to personnel Monday morning.

Yes, but they told me that I... The community doesn't care for the people we

care for.

Oh, it's you.

Look, buddy, if you don't stop making these obscene phone calls, I'm going to

have to call the police.

And the same to you.

Oh, Dr. Fine, we could use your help on some of these emergency cases.

I'm due for butt tuck and surgery and I'm late. Somewhere I took my parking

spot.

Nurse Ratched, where's the new intern we're supposed to get? No one knows.

And Dr. Kelly... I can't get into the parking lot. Some idiot left his

blocking the driveway. There's a meeting made tagging it right now. And boy, am

I glad.

The white Mercedes?

Yes. Black upholstery? Yes. Holy Toledo.

Excuse me, nurse. Excuse me. Excuse me.

The community hospital we care for the people we care for.

No, Dr. Goode is still here.

Fine, I'll see she gets the message.

You see, nurse, at school they... You're still in school?

We only hire high school graduates. But I am. I mean, I did.

I mean... Look, kid, we're really busy right now. Hey, when is somebody going

take care of my wife? She's got the gold glider thing.

No. Look what you did. Excuse me. You stupid idiot. I was only trying to pick

up. Idiot.

Quacks. Halfwits.

Why don't you stand and help me pick up my flowers?

I have messages for you, Dr. Good.

Give me the figures on the free blue shot program first.

200 were inoculated today.

200. 150 sign up for tomorrow.

150. And calls have been coming in right and left for all of next week. Not bad,

huh? Not bad, Rona. The program's a complete success.

Because of good community hospital, 300 homeless and minority will be ill or

spreading illness.

Bless. I want to see who the... charge over here.

The name's Gross.

Is there some small way I can help Mr. Gross? I don't talk to secretaries. I

want to talk to the guy what runs this place.

I'm Grace Good, MD, SST, DDS, RSVP, Director of Operations.

A woman, I should have known. Watch it, Buster.

Look, we've been here all day.

The little woman, my wife, was supposed to have her operation ready, and

nothing's been done. So how about it?

Gross found Nurse Ratched.

Paid Dr.

Fine. He's in surgery.

Butt tuck.

I beg your pardon?

You know.

Oh, well, see to it that he gets to Mrs. Gross as soon as possible.

I'll take care of it. Why don't you go on home? Why, you haven't slept in three

days.

That's sweet, Rona.

No. Something tells me I better stick around.

Remember, Rona.

We care for the people. We care for...

My grandfather sucked that one up. There isn't a day goes by that I don't thank

him for that one.

Oh!

October Records, finding cabinet number 200.

Are you Dr. Good?

Excuse me, Dr. Good.

Sorry. Not no kid. I told you to get out of here. You're bothering me. Mr.

Gross, control yourself.

Excuse me, Dr. Good. If I could just talk to you for a minute. Look, kid, I

already explained to you. But I'm Albert.

All orderlies to front desk. Stat.

Damn, we never have any fun around here.

Come on, let's go.

Maybe it's that pizza we ordered. Yeah.

Dr. Payne. Dr.

Payne to emergency.

Stat.

Oh,

what do we have here?

Honey got out of season.

Bad girl. Bad, bad, bad, bad.

What's her name?

Dr. Payne, her name is Robin Hood. Oh, what happened?

It was my husband, Herbie. Her husband, Herbie, missed the deer and got her rear

instead. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

And now, here's a little heavy metal number for all you heart patients.

in solitary confinement.

Robin, it hurts when we touch you. You know why.

It's a great place to stay awake.

Nothing in the attic.

Shouldn't we avoid that, though?

Ready, Arnold?

Ready? Yes.

Yes.

Go.

He's tucking a butt. Could you prep his gallbladder? He's what?

Doing a butt tuck. Oh.

Could you?

Well, sure. Anything to help?

Dr. Fine, please call your broker.

Your account is hemorrhaged. Well, what about my wife?

He's going to be care of her for surgery right now.

Should be working on her in a few minutes.

What are you, a mechanic?

You should have been working on her always, you know, Dr. Fine. No, I'm Dr.

Harvey Harvey. And I'm good and mad, good and mad. I ought to take the little

woman out of here. Now, Mr. Grunt, there's no need for that.

Dr. Harvey moves very fast.

He might even get a test to see if I could buy before surgery.

Bernice, have we heard any word from the new intern? No, doctor.

Anyone need to use arrows?

No.

Oh, if only we had that new doctor.

Here. Obviously.

Grace, why don't we call in some of the off -duty?

Excuse me.

Yes, what do you want? Nurse Ratched said he's been pestering us for a job

day. Not exactly.

I'm already supposed to have one.

I'm Dr. Albert Schweitzer.

Yeah, and I'm Florence Nightingale.

They didn't tell me you were 16, Dr. Schweitzer. Well, I do need an assistant

surgery on the gross gallbladder grade.

Dr. Schweitzer, you're now Dr.

Harvey's surgical assistant.

You're not going to let that kid operate on my hoodie. He hasn't pressed...

He's only going to assist Dr. Harvey until Dr.

Fine is ready.

Good morning.

Nothing better happened to my honey.

I really don't feel good, Grace, about taking one of Fine's patients.

I know how you feel, Harvey, but it's for the good of the patient.

Well, it's not only that. It's just that Fine has all the good OR people tied up

and there aren't enough to do the job right.

What are you two up to?

drugged up. She probably doesn't even know you.

She knows.

Don't you, Horty, dear?

Attention.

Hospital phones are not to be used for 976 calls.

The hospital is teetering on the brink of financial disaster.

The only question is how to save this noble institution from sudden

I talked to the bank, and there is no possibility of another extension. We

continue to keep good community open at all costs, Mr. Sickle.

We have to continue to take care of the sick and the needy. If you continue on

your present course, you will be one of them.

Dr. Good, who are you kidding?

There is no way to straighten out the irreparable damage created by your

gracious generosity.

Look around you.

You have an undisciplined and incompetent staff run by a well -meaning

misguided gracious lady.

You have taken on too numerous to mention patients who cannot possibly

hospital's generosity.

Really. Is this any way to practice medicine? You're the financial advisor,

Sikkim. What do you suggest?

Call me sly.

But you won't be happy with my answer. It won't be the first time.

What is your answer, sly?

Now, I just got off the phone this morning to a wholesale development firm,

Cochran and Fink.

Cochran and Fink think that a large, successful shopping mall is the answer

our dilemma. How could you suggest such a thing?

Good community hospital has served the poor.

destitute and needy for her century.

Time it closed its doors and turned her around into the prophet she has

potential for.

I rest my case. We'll see about that.

You have not heard the last word from me. You may think that you are a

Nightingale or a Clara Barton, but you are nothing more than a Mary Poppins

without an umbrella.

You may save a few lives within the next 24 hours, but you will not save Good

Community Hospital.

As my old witness used to say, let the chips fall where they may.

Tomorrow is another day.

Good day, Dr. Good.

Good luck.

Imagine that, doing surgery, my very first day and I'm grabbing a

We're a small hospital.

Everyone has to pitch in. It's potluck, kid.

Oh, sorry, Albert, nothing personal.

Okay, boys, raise our keel.

I've got to kill you.

Sorry.

I'm wearing them in the new world I'm building. I try to get rid of people

him. And you.

I'd like to introduce our new intern, Dr.

Schweitzer.

I think we have time for a speech, Albert.

Well, I just wanted to say...

Totally stubby. Your pizza's ready.

And it looked delicious.

More retraction there, Nurse Boog.

So, what do you think of our brilliant young intern here?

Suction.

Pretty good for an intern.

Yeah. He's pretty good for a doctor.

Scalpel. He's pretty cute.

Oh, God.

Oh, don't you think it would make a nice shade of lipstick?

Yeah.

Dr. Schweitzer, would you reach your cute little hands into your patient's

little guts and try to locate the old cow's cute little gallbladder?

Yes, Dr. Harvey.

Sir.

Chew, smells like rotten eggs in here.

Uh, Dr. Harvey, I can't find it. Good, I thought it was me.

Get a knife and help me sort out some of this blubber.

Hey, would you please take this patient to... Ow!

Burn yourself!

I think of giving up cigarettes.

Give up cigarettes and rather die.

First it was Bucky, then Marlboro, then Winston.

I'd walk a mile for a cow.

Connect me with OR4.

Harvey? You better proceed with the gallbladder.

Can't find it?

Of course it's there.

I think we're going to need you in fine for an emergency.

Maybe if we re -suction this, we can locate the gallbladder through the

Right. Well, cut a slice off the pepperoni and hang it on the thing that

like a bad haircut.

Suction.

There's that gas smell again.

What's the meaning of this, Harvey? Get away from my patient. Howard, Grace told

us to go ahead.

You were off somewhere freelancing. Save your excuses for the board, Harvey.

Who the hell left the kid in?

Dr. Fine, this is Dr. Albert Schweitzer, our new intern. Dr. Albert Schweitzer,

Dr. Fine, God's gift of medicine.

It's an honor to meet you, Dr. Fine.

I really liked your book. Which ones?

All of them, especially Nip and Tuck.

All right, Harvey, shut up. I'm here.

Bad for kidding diapers and a quack. What's holding up?

We can't locate the gallbladder, Howard.

She's your patient. Maybe she left you a map. That ain't funny, Harvey. I'm

going to speed things up. I'm going to show you the fine method. Now, watch

closely, team, and you may learn something. Nurse Boobs, give me the

scalpel.

That's an enema bag. No, that.

Bright girl. As bright as a refrigerator ball, Daddy. Hand it to me.

Thanks a lot. Give me some gall so I can stop the bleeding.

Now, stand back, team.

Smell gas, Bernice? Where were you a minute ago, Willa? Turn it on, nurse.

Dr. Good to OR4, that, that.

How could you let something like this happen?

Harvey? Well, it was a horrible accident, Grace, but there was no way it

have been avoided.

Patients don't explode at Good Community Hospital.

We take precautions.

Can any of you even begin to conceive of the consequences for the hospital?

Okay, what happened?

It's obvious. Harvey botched the procedure.

That's not what you said in the OR, Howard. This has been coming on for a

time, Grace. How I'm surprised he hasn't murdered someone before.

Oh, you watch it, fine.

Look, Grace, I've had enough of this. If he wants to talk to me, he can address

me through you.

Grace, if you want to save this place from a nasty scandal, fire this

incompetent. See, Grace, see? He's not only a hothead, he's a quack.

Take that back.

You take it back, quack.

Stop it!

Dr. Schweitzer, what did you see?

Yeah, yeah?

Well, it was just as Dr. Harvey described.

Everything went along perfectly until Dr. Fein... It's obvious the kid's on to

Harvey's stomach. And what was a teenager doing assisting in surgery?

Call her, please.

What'd you find out, Floyd?

It appears she was murdered. And there's your man.

Where did you get her gas?

We got it at Central Supply. Why?

And nobody noticed anything unusual about it? No, she'd been passing gas

since she was admitted. Seemed usual with her.

Somebody rigged the anesthesia tank to the acetylene.

We'd better call the police.

They'll bring the media.

Dan Rather, maybe.

No, that might panic the patients.

Floyd will handle this.

There's no way to prove it. We'll all regard this as an unfortunate accident.

Grace, do you know what you are saying?

Yes, we may be covering up a felony, but our patients come first.

What is our motto?

We care about the people we care for.

Good, and we'll all remember that.

until Floyd finishes his quiet investigation.

I still think you ought to read Harvey's rights, Floyd. I'll watch the door.

Howard!

Okay, do I have everybody's word that you'll help me control this embarrassing

situation? Yeah.

Good.

Okay, everybody back to their posts.

Let's all work as though nothing has happened.

We must keep good community running smoothly, heads held high.

We must think of our patients who rely on their white knight.

Okay, everybody, back to work.

Oh, just a moment, Harvey.

I'm not finished with you yet.

I'm scared, Harvey.

We can keep this in the family, so to speak.

But what do we tell Gross?

Nothing. I suppose so.

What a mess.

A patient dies accidentally and we cover up like criminals.

But we have to tell Gross something.

Don't worry, Grace. I'll handle Gross, okay?

But, Harvey, I...

Gotta go.

You better go to OR4 and check on Fanny's butt top. Right away, Dr. Good.

I don't feel good.

I'm Dr.

Good. I don't need no doctor.

I need pills.

What was

that?

My cat's worm pills.

Got any more?

I need something fast.

Come on, lady.

What's

your

name? My good friends call me Lizard.

You heard her, and you're a long -time dying creep. I'll be all right, Floyd.

I'll get Lizard some drugs, and he'll be fine.

All I want is some stuff, man. Now drop it.

Catch him up and put him in Tay Ward.

They'll send somebody over in the morning. Gross doesn't look too good.

better get him to an examining room, bandage him, and set up a skull series.

Arnold, you take the lift.

Oh, Tay!

Come on, Mr. Gross.

Yeah, come on.

What happened?

There's been an accident.

Did they vet my car?

No. Get his license? Yeah.

Gotta call the little woman. In a minute. Go with the nurse, and

be okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, come right on over here. We're going to make you comfy.

We'll put him on this bed here, Floyd.

You better go check the front desk, Floyd.

No,

no, no, Mr. Grote. Go back in there and lie down.

Interlaced.

Hi, Doc.

Just my luck.

And here I was hoping they would send me a pretty nurse to shave me.

Don't worry, Mr. Bronson. By tomorrow morning, you'll be singing a different

tune. This won't hurt, will it, Doc? Don't worry, Mr. Bronson.

I know what I'm doing.

Be gentle.

Excuse me, nurse.

Could you help me, please? If I can.

We care about the people we care for.

Well, what can we do about this?

How did that happen?

Well, I was going to the bathroom and I zipped too quick.

You think we can save them?

That's a big operation.

Hey, Rona.

Yes, dear.

Come on down here. You gotta see this. See what?

Come here.

Come here.

Show her.

Oh, my.

That'll take at least a... stitches.

Bernice! Come take a look at this.

Shower.

Holy baloney!

What vaginality are you?

Willa! Casitas!

What is it, Bernice? Take a look!

Shower.

Oh, my heavens!

Reminds me of the time we dissected that bow constrictor in basic biology.

What would you do with something like that? Throw your...

Take a picture of this.

Hey, who's John Holmes? You think we need a forklift? We can exhibit him,

admission, and retire in a week.

You've got a steady girlfriend.

Hands off, girls. I saw it first. Come on.

Who's been playing tic -tac -toe on this man's stomach with a scalpel?

And who did his vasectomy?

That's one of the worst operations I've ever seen.

He wasn't scheduled for a vasectomy.

Just hernia. Give me that scalpel, Andrews. Handle out. I'm still

from the last scalpel you handed me.

Are you kidding? All the way to Google, Mom?

Yeah.

This one is going to be picked up by the Finkel Funeral Home later on this

afternoon. Now, he's in five parts, so make sure they get all of him.

Five parts? What happened? Well, it seems this woman caught him cheating.

Chopped him up into four parts. Chopped off his dick.

Wasn't there one going to the medical school?

Aha!

It's this one. I sure as hell hate to clean up OR, too.

That gross stain stuck to the wall like molasses.

My ears are still ringing from that explosion.

Hey, who's that?

That's the husband. We've been looking for him.

Notice the flowing, flawless, graceful motion. The authoritative thrust of each

cut perfectly timed and executed.

When I work, there's no excess, no waste.

I get in and I get out, and I do the least damage to the patient I can.

Usually.

So I had a rough day yesterday.

Dr. Schweitzer, consider yourself lucky to be working with the great Howard

Fine. Sorry, Schweitzer closed. Yes, Dr. Fine.

Hey,

where'd you learn to suture like that?

My mother. She told me it leaves practically no scars.

Nice.

Mom's a doctor?

Plastic surgeon.

Works out of Memorial.

Sylvia Schweitzer is your mother? Uh -huh.

Geez, you could have been my kid.

Well, here's what we could scrape up the wall with Grosswoman. I sure hate to

have to tell her husband.

No, brother.

Mr. Gross, you can see your wife now.

Look, Oscar, if you don't stop making these obscene phone calls, I'm going to

have to take the police on you.

You what?

They're blue. Why?

I'm a brunette.

Drona, what's yours?

You have a size 12 foot. You know what they say. Big feet, big... Roger!

Call me later.

This man's having a heart attack.

A bad one. I thought he was looking for the John.

Play him out.

I'll have to give him CPR.

I think we lost him.

Hey, you give him mouth -to -mouth.

It's no use. We've lost him.

Damn!

We tried, Doctor.

I thought you might need it.

Oh, thank you, Rona. You sweet soul.

What would I do without you? Oh, very well.

I should think.

Nonsense. Why don't you go home and get some rest?

You haven't slept in three days.

Four, but who's counting?

This table perked me up.

When did you decide to devote yourself to nursing, Rona?

When Tommy Tucker taught me how to... in his backyard.

Oh, that's... Sweet. When did you decide to become a doctor, hmm?

Well, Granddad was one, Dad was one.

It's all I've ever known.

We lived and breathed medicine ever since I can remember.

I remember when I was three years old.

I used to have this little kitten.

Mittens was her name.

Daddy and I used to put Mittens to sleep, operate on her, bring her back to

life.

Then we'd sew her up, operate on her again, sew her back up.

Mittens used to snuggle up to me at night.

Most of her hair was gone from shock.

And she was going blind.

And her brain was a little bit damaged from all her operations.

She used to run to me with my arms outstretched, bang into the wall, get up

try again.

Oh, I loved that little cat.

What a lovely story.

What would you do if you lost all this, Dr. Good?

Good community?

Uh -huh.

It's my whole life. I don't know what I'd do.

But it won't. It won't close its doors.

I'll see to that.

Work, Rona, work.

You better get back to admittance.

You know I can't run without you.

Bless you, Grace Good.

Bless you.

Bless you.

Bless you.

Just a fly a day at least. Yes, sir, but be careful. I got this today.

When I fed it.

Good. I'll take it.

Oh, by the way, how much is it?

It's a close asset.

Dr. Schweitzer, remember me? I'm Nurse Riot.

Willard Riot.

I didn't forget.

I was just looking for a little gift for my nephew back home in Indiana.

He's four.

Isn't he cute?

I was just checking the price tag when you walked in. Ouch!

What is it?

Would you like me to wrap that for you?

Yes, please. I work here. I get 2 % off.

Emily? Yes, I know.

You're a nurse. Try it.

All the interns talk about you. Oh, my, oh, my, oh, boy.

Oh, I'll gift wrap this for you.

What a sweet old lady.

Dr. Fine's mother.

And still working? Now, that's admirable. No, that's a necessity.

She's still paying off putting him through medical school.

But doesn't he? We don't talk about this.

Here, let me. I'm a doctor.

You know, doctor... Albert.

Albert, in some primitive jungles, this would make us engaged.

Anyone ever tell you you have beautiful green eyes?

Anyone ever tell you you suck a mean finger?

Dr. Good, I want to thank you for everything.

Mrs. Ignance, you're going home today. This is a wonderful hospital.

I can't wait to come back. Everyone is so good and kind. It's not like City

Hospital. That's so nice to hear, Mrs. Ignance.

Now, don't you come back with another false pregnancy now.

Nurse Ratchett will sign you out.

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

Orderly stubby. Wanda wants you on one.

It's the phone, Mrs. Ignance. I'll be right back.

Don't you go away.

You must be quite a jumper.

College, I was in the broad jumping.

What are you into?

You're a nice wheelchair.

Let me help you right this way.

I can get you fixed up here. There you go. Have a seat.

Oh, that's a market bag.

Oh,

you'll like your residency here.

St. Jude takes a lot of our weekday business away, but we usually make up

on weekends.

Good community is a wonderful hospital.

Bless you, Union.

Isn't that an awful lot of casualties?

We work hard to get that.

I don't think I could work for any other hospital.

We're like family here.

There. Feel better?

Here. Oh, good. Forty bucks. That's enough lunch.

What about my lunch?

Go on welfare.

Where's Dr. Good?

She's on her way. Who would do such a thing to such a nice and old lady like

Mrs. Goodman?

I don't know, but I'm going to get them.

Better get a couple of orderlies. Come pick her up.

Agnes and I are both on social security, and we can't afford a new toilet seat,

so I fixed it with crazy glue, but I forget to tell Agnes here, and the next

thing I know, she's screaming in the toilet.

Well, we'll just have to get it off, won't we, Agnes? Norman, grab that sign.

Yeah, one and a two.

Oh, my

God.

She was going home.

What happened? That's what I'd like to know.

Oh, who would do such a thing like this?

What a sweet old lady.

Oh, he wasn't doing it to her.

I'm calling the police.

No, Dr. Payne, we can handle this. Well, I think we ought to evacuate the

hospital. Impossible.

There are patients that can't be moved.

We have to keep our doors open.

I'm calling the police.

No, Dr. Payne.

Yes, Dr. Good.

No.

And this wing was put on in

1913. It was used to store blood during World War I.

You'll notice the blood stains there on the wall.

Dr. Good's grandmother used to put up tomato preserves. One night, she walked

her sleep, and she moved the stored blood and replaced it with her tomato

preserves. Results? Three days later, it sounded like World War II.

Wow. There's still a lot to show you. There's a gift shop, and then there's

display case where we keep our first donors.

The skin grafts to the left, the right.

I don't know.

Amateur copycat.

He's trying to shut the wedding date, and I don't want to shut the date yet,

see. Well, what time are we meeting on Tuesday? I don't know.

Minnie is trying to set up for the study. Well, you've got to get Tuesday

Let me make this perfectly clear. Without a doubt, I will be there.

be there. Pat will be there. I'll be there. You're dated in the new way.

That.

They committed suicide?

At this hospital? Are you kidding?

The last I saw of him, he was on his way to get the police. Well, he obviously

didn't make it.

Well, we can't have Dr. Payne hanging around like this.

That's a public relation.

You better calm down, boys.

You might.

Floyd, I'm scared.

I shouldn't be, but I am.

Maybe we ought to close goods stores for good. Now, you stop that. We're not

going to let a few accidents close our doors.

I'm with you. The staff's with you.

And besides, I'm due to retire in four years, and if you close good community,

I'll be out of a pension.

Dozens of decent, hardworking boys and girls will be out of work, too.

Do you want that?

No. No, you stick in there, little lady. We're with you all the way.

Nurse Boobs.

Nurse Boobs. Call online, too.

It's your agent, and he's got a part for you as the mystery guest on Love

Connection. Yes,

Dr. Fine.

We do check a lot. and see if the bill on my butt tuck was issued yet. I need

adjust my feet.

You mean the one you were doing instead of the gross operation?

That's the one.

Front desk. That's it.

Yes, Dr. Good.

What does Grace want?

You in her office now.

Well, it's about time.

You sure you would like a cup?

No.

Okay,

Mr. Pate.

Are you going to shoot me with that?

Now, just relax.

I've been shooting up for you, so look at me.

No, no, please, help.

Kidding yourself, Grace? Can't you see I'm crazy about you? The only reason I

hang around this stupid place is to be near you.

Marry me and we'll blow this dump.

We'll pool our money and open a new hospital with state -of -the -art

This is my hospital.

It comes first in my life, as it did for my father and my grandfather.

That's your problem.

You're blowing your family fortune helping these homeless, worthless,

unfortunates. Helping people and see them get well again means more to me

money. Where do I fit in that?

You don't.

Why were you working on a private patient when you already assigned to

Gross? Because I made three times the money off that butt tuck than off a

routine gallbladder.

Do it again and you're through in this hospital.

It's that quack Harvey, isn't it?

That doesn't concern you. I'd hate to dismiss you.

How can you be infatuated with that quack?

He's tried to pull every nurse on the floor.

That's not true and you know it.

Well, that's just fun.

for me. You didn't pay me for the last one. I didn't? Dr. Mike Hunt, call

obstetrics. Here's for Saturday.

And another if you do me another.

Shit. You know Dr. Harvey.

Yeah. Well, I'd like you to find out what you find out.

Dr.

Doug!

Dr. Good to x -ray stat stat.

How could we have lost another patient? Check toilets?

No, Floyd.

Another patient has kaput. What else is new?

Floyd, please.

Dr. Curie's radio ball has turned Mr.

Pate into something that looks like it was stuck to the bottom of a pan. Dr.

Curie, what happened?

Beats me. I just finished injecting Mr. Pate. I was waiting for him to turn red.

I was on the phone with my financial advisor, and when I turned around, this

the way I found him.

Clutching a radium ball.

Where is our radium ball usually kept?

In this cobbled box.

But, Doctor, could I make my eggs and a waffle on it in the morning?

Well, you just have to get yourself a hot plate like everybody else.

Now, let's go about our jobs as though nothing happened.

Do we all agree?

We agree. Yes, ma 'am. Well, I've gone over all the corpses with a fine

comb. But I lost my comb.

This is all that's left of Mr.

Scrooge. This bucket?

Well, two.

You wouldn't believe what a day I had. I stood in front of the mirror this

morning trying to figure out where I'd seen myself before.

I dictated to my cigar and let my secretary, which is all right because my

cigars are better typers. What did you find out about the corpses?

You know, I used to be a tree surgeon, but I kept falling out on my patients,

I branched off.

You know, the sugar mine is so shiny that if it tears, I'd get seven years

luck. Speaking of bad luck, take my wives. The first one left me.

The second one won't. Well, let's take a look at item A.

I... Sorry,

this is my stash.

You know, the only thing I've achieved on my own is dandruff.

Did you ever think of quitting as an undertaker?

What? And give failure a bad name?

Grace? Yes? You sent for me?

Yes, ma 'am.

What the?

Harvey!

Explain to me, Nurse Muffet.

Why, you are in my office and out of uniform?

Ask Dr. Harvey.

Harvey? Grace, I received a call to come down here. When I did, she was... Why,

she was just... Typical, Grace, typical. If he isn't blowing up patients, he's

luring nurses into your office for a little T &A.

Harvey! Grace, you know me well enough. I was set up. Ha! You're trying to tell

us this isn't you we found blowing this nurse? You shut up, fine. Don't tell me

to shut up. You belong in jail.

Quack. Murderer. Quack. Quack. Rapist. Quack?

Rapist? Oh.

Stop it, stop it.

I want a full explanation of what happened.

Why she was dressed when I came into your office.

And that's your story? Yes.

Nurse Muffet? Well, I was working on something for Dr. Fine, and then Dr.

Harvey comes and says that he needs something I had, and he pulls me in

and the next thing I know, it's like... Well, you liar, liar, liar, liar.

That's a pack of lies. Oh, you've heard enough, Grace.

This nurse is right to speak for itself. Harvey took advantage of her.

Miss Muffet, you're discharged.

I want you dressed in civilian clothes and off of hospital property in five

minutes.

what she's talking about, Grace. Look at her record, Grace.

Appalling. Atrocious.

Ah, now I get the picture, Howard.

Nurse Muffet, please get dressed and return to your duties. Yes, Dr. Good.

Howard, you have 30 days to arrange for another hospital.

Harvey, please return to your duties.

Dismissed.

I'm sorry.

in that room over there.

You gotta save her, Doc. I mean, we just got married. We were on our honeymoon.

Well, if you really want to help, she's going to need blood.

You feel up to giving a pint? Um, get it from the blood bank.

No, no, no. I don't want no blood from the blood bank.

Get it from her sister.

No time. She's going to need blood now. We don't have any choice.

Um, but needles hurt.

No, won't hurt.

I'll give you a lollipop.

We're short of nurses. Dr.

Schweitzer here will help. Right this way.

Are you kidding me? I wouldn't let him poke me with a needle. I want a doctor,

not a kid. This kid is a doctor.

Come on, let Dr. Schweitzer take your blood.

We don't have much time.

It won't hurt, I promise.

Okay.

Why, it's as plain as the nose on my face.

Curie died of radium exposure.

Why, he has enough radium in him to cook hamburgers for McDonald's.

For a year. This is terrible, Mr. Moore.

Call me Barry.

Not to worry, Dr. Goode. We can say that Dr. Carey died of supernatural causes.

Isn't that telling a lie?

Okay, so I lie a little.

You want to make a federal case of it? I hate to ask you to do this for us,

Barry, but we have to keep good community open at all costs.

So, we lost another one.

What are you talking about?

I just heard about Cure.

Cure, let go of my arm. Q -ray, okay, another death grace. Old Harvey's really

getting around. Give him another day, he'll clean out the place. Howard,

there are patients.

Not as many as there used to be.

Wait a minute.

Now I get it, Howard.

You're behind all these killings.

You're doing all this, aren't you?

What do you mean?

Sure, it all makes sense.

Kill a few patients, the state closes me down, you and your golfing buddies move

in cheap.

Have your gaudy medical center, right? Grace, wait a minute. That's crazy.

I'm a doctor, same as you.

Doctors don't kill people.

Good doctors don't. Greedy doctors, well, that's another story.

Grace, keep your voice down. There are patients.

Not as many as there used to be. Huh, Howard?

I gotta go, Grace. I've got an important operation.

Then get to it.

Fine, Dr.

Good. Good, Dr.

Fine.

Lie down. No!

Lie down!

All right.

Are you sure you're a doctor?

An intern.

I have an M .D. I went to school for it and everything.

I know what I'm doing.

Are you sure you're not the janitor or something?

If you have any doubts, contact Dr.

Good, director of the hospital.

Will you hurry and get this over with?

I hate needles.

There. It's in.

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Somebody will stop by in a few minutes to finish you off.

Slim, please report to the main desk.

Dr.

Schweitzer, how's it going?

I live.

Don't bet on it. Don't remind me. Oh, the trauma case is in 23.

Dr. Harvey's on it. My husband's giving blood in 24.

Two pints. Have somebody replace it in a few minutes. I have to go to Jay Ward.

Go on.

I'll take care of the husband personally.

And that's why you're named Harvey Harvey?

Enough of this small talk, Grace. I wish you would. I was married once, Harvey,

and I swore I would never give my heart to another to trample on. I would never

do such a thing. I love you too much.

Yes, but time didn't fly.

Please report to OR2. Oh, I have to go. They're waiting on me.

Okay, here, let me see.

Ow!

Oh,

you have some heroin? We don't prescribe heroin, but I'll give you something for

the itching along with your sedative.

I told you to keep your hands off your incisions. Now we're going to have to

redo the whole mess.

What do we have to do?

Tie you down like him?

Oh, hurt me, punish me, make me dead morphine, stick me with needles full

Shut up or I'll sew your lich.

operating on the day. I want to see her.

Visiting hours will be several hours ago, sir. You'll have to come back

tomorrow. I just want to look in on her to see that she's okay, okay?

I can't let you see her. It's too late.

Yeah, well, let me talk to your supervisor.

That's me.

Oh, come on, honey. I just want to look in on her for a minute.

Sir, I said no. It's for the good of all the patients. Hot fiddle rule.

Give me her room number then so I can call her in the morning.

Certainly. What's her name?

Horty. I mean, Horty's gross.

Trouble?

Her records are not available at the moment.

Please, have a seat and I'll check with her doctor.

His name's fine.

That much I know.

Whose bright idea was it, Rona, to have me do a routine appendectomy? Any idiot

could have jerked that, guys.

What's all this?

Dr. Good is having me look through all records to see if there's anyone with a

grievance against his hospital.

She said to ask if you know anyone who might be mad at us. After all, if anyone

would know, you would. Sure, any of Harvey Harvey's patients that live. That

is a menace to public health. Imagine taking some snot -nosed brat into the O

.R. for that gallbladder.

And on top of it all, the two of them managed to blow up the patient. I swear

this gross thing is going too far.

Then some drug addict has to wander in off the street and shoot her husband.

This used to be a nice neighborhood.

Dr. Fine, please.

Dr. Fine?

Yes? I don't believe we've met.

How are you covered?

Malpractice -wise.

Oh, geez. Must be two or three million. At least not that I need it, mind you. I

don't screw up. My lawyer makes me carry. You know how lawyers are.

Indeed I do.

If you're thinking of trying to sell me a... Blue Hole.

Attorney at law. And brother to one of your patients.

Hortense Gross.

Dr. Good.

My sister exploded and her beloved husband shot.

Your sister's death was not the fault of the hospital. Her husband was also an

accident. We deeply regret what has happened, but we are not responsible.

I'm taking you to court.

And when I'm done, you'll all be back here at work with one change.

What's that?

I'll own this place and everyone.

What did you tell him? Nothing much, just about all... Everything.

Dr. Schweitzer, Dr.

Harvey, the killer. The crisis will blow over.

So will you, Howard. You're finished. Yeah, I was about to go home. No, I

you're finished for good.

Forever at this institution.

Clear out your office, clear your schedule, and never let me see your

treacherous, tooth -timing, troublemaking face again.

Are you mad at me?

Howard!

Who was the last doctor to treat this patient? Dr. Schweitzer's name was on

order to do his blood.

Not another Floyd. Do you think Schweitzer's behind all this?

No, but it could be anybody.

Albert, can you explain this?

No. Dr.

Harvey had me draw the blood, and I did.

You just drew it a little too much.

I didn't botch the transfusion. It was alive and well when I went to Jay Ward.

I left instructions with the nurse to change the bag.

No one's accusing you, Dr.

Schweitzer. We have to trust one another.

Floyd? Yes, Dr. Good? Would you get two orderlies to take him to the morgue?

Yes, Dr. Good.

Dr. Good?

Yes? I was talking with Nurse Ratched earlier today, and I want you to know

if need be, I'll take half my salary if this will help good community.

Thank you, Dr.

Schweitzer. I hope that won't be necessary.

How do you know you need all this?

How do you know they're not charging you double?

How do you know they're giving you stuff you don't need?

Listen, here's my card.

If you have any problem, lady, call me.

Grab your next of kin and call me.

Listen, Nurse Ratched, I'd like to get a little sleep.

Dr. Harvey said I could flake out on his couch unless you need me for anything.

Yes, Dr.

Schweitzer. Schweitzer?

Could you go over these medication orders for Jay Ward?

Call you back, Sid.

No, no, that's changed.

Give Lips 20 units of this at 8 a .m. How should it be administered?

Intraocularly. Doctor?

Yes, stick it in his eye. He'll love it.

Dr. Schweitzer? Yeah.

I'm the gross family lawyer, Leupold.

What's your story?

Excuse me.

What medical school did you graduate from? State. Excuse me.

Come on.

You really are the doctor.

How old are you? Sixteen.

Ah!

Now I got you.

Skate lock.

10435, paragraph 8, section 22.

Minimum age per position is 25.

amended 1986, to any age if graduated from an accredited school.

Now get out of my way.

Hey, kids, I'm not done with you here.

Will you lend me your finger, Harvey?

Grace. I need a finger to hold this bow.

Oh, of course.

Who's the package for? Emily.

In the gift shop? Uh -huh. It's her 70th birthday.

Emily, 70?

She doesn't look it. And to celebrate 30 years in the gift shop.

30 years.

And we're moving her to the new wing. We're finally opening the new wing?

Next week.

If we're still in business.

Oh, Grace, come here.

Uh -uh, you cut that out. Come here.

We gotta have faith.

Good won't close its doors.

I wanna bleed.

My heart tells me to, but... Oh.

Beth, could you take this portable defib unit to the storeroom?

It's good to relax for a moment.

Grace, we will come through this thing, even if there's a little scandal and a

whole lot of horrible, nasty, evil, bad press.

The poor people who depend on this hospital for their lives will know.

This creature, who or whatever it is, must be very sick.

I know I should be thinking that he needs help, but something inside of me

me want to rip his guts out. Oh, come on, Grace, you're just angry.

That'll pass, as long as we both stay strong and stick to our principle.

That may not be enough.

How can we fight something that we can't see?

Yes, Nurse Ratched.

Right away.

You'll want to bend OR3.

Don't worry, Grace.

Everything will be okay.

Just trust.

You gotta give me something.

You just had some. And stop that scratching. I got better things to do

restitch you four times a day.

You docs will get grouchy when you get old.

Who did this?

I didn't do this.

Who just sutured you? This is the work of a total idiot.

Oh, one of you docs did this. Came in with his mask on in a terrible cold.

me he had orders to do me over again.

Whoever did this did this to hurt you.

Yeah? You must lie still. Those tissues will come out if you move. I'll be right

back as soon as I get my supplier.

Oh, light and no sugar, Bernice. Will you make sure it's hot? Can't stand cold

coffee. Yes, Dr. Fine.

Would you like a Danish to go with that? You make a mean raspberry.

Okay, but no prunes.

Eight prunes.

I know what you mean.

Be right back.

Hi there, dude.

How's it happening?

Who are you?

Lupo, attorney at law.

How are they treating you?

You a lawyer? Can you get me out?

Depends. Lead stock.

Who's behind this killing business?

Dr. Good?

Dr. Harvey?

What's a scam?

How do they cash in on all these bad people?

I know. Some sort of insurance split with relatives, right?

I get it. I knew it.

Thanks, pal.

You ever need a lawyer? Use my card.

Yeah. Can you get them to let me go? I didn't kill anybody.

No problem.

Criminal cases, $200 per hour.

$500 if we go to court.

Yeah. And they won't give me no drugs, and the food's terrible, and my stitches

hurt. Oh, well.

Now, practice. 30 -70 split.

Who's your doctor?

Dr. Schweitzer.

Dr. Schweitzer? The kid?

Whoa! Fell.

Take real good care of that belly. Those stitches are going to make us both...

Then I can at least take this stupid tag off. Maybe you better not.

And this is how you mourn your sister's

death and honor her memory? By harassing other patients?

Listen good, Ann. Listen good.

I've got to write together evidence in a pending case.

Not from critically ill patients, you monster.

Oh, slander. Keep it up, good. You're making it real easy for me.

Willow, where's Nurse Ratched?

On her left. Drake, call Floyd. Get this maniac out of here.

I'll sue.

Anyone touching me, I'll sue.

Go get Floyd.

Let's see. Just for starters, foul practice, negligence, wrongful death,

to report a death.

Come in.

Oh, Mr. Sickum, what do you want?

Sit down.

Not too good. I want to continue being your friend.

How long have I known you?

Seems like an eternity.

Believe me, Grace.

May I call you Grace?

Why not? You've called me everything else.

I'm in tears over this whole thing, and I hate being the villain in this piece.

But you do believe I want to help, don't you? As much as I believe in Santa

Claus, the good fairy, and a pot at the end of the rainbow.

In spite of what you think, I do want to help.

Here's your chance to save your good name.

Please reconsider your position and call Cochran and Fink. They can help us. And

we can all get out of this whole mess smelling like roses.

My heart tells me we can turn things around.

All we need is time.

Time can't help you. Time has run out. There is no more time.

We got a burn patient who just came in, a hernia, two tonsillectomies, an

appendectomy, and a hemorrhoid. I'll take the hernia and the tonsillectomy.

had two last month. I'll take it, and you take the appendectomy. I know,

It's 15. You haven't paid half the rent yet. Look, I'll take the appendectomy. I

haven't. I have one for two weeks. Oh, no, you don't. I'll take it, and you

the hernia. Who wants the hemorrhoid? I know, Debbie. I'm a worker. Okay, you

take the hernia and the tonsillectomy.

I love you, too. Mmm, yeah.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Dr. Good to utility room. Death.

Fine, Sikkim. You play your little games without me. You keep the other ten

thou. I'll be glad to get rid of this whole crummy affair.

I'm finished.

Say, Jude, this is Stanley Sikkim from Good Community Hospital.

As of midnight tomorrow, we are closing our doors for good.

Can I interest you in some used radium?

Well, the size of a basketball.

Here he comes.

He's walking down the street.

I will break his head if he says one.

Staff members, assist the patients back to their rooms and return to your

duties. And remember, we care about the people we care for.

And thank you, everybody.

Where does it end, Floyd?

I don't know. Could you hang him in there?

Floyd, it's obvious.

Find it, all this. He's been trying to get me and the hospital.

He's responsible for all these killings. He couldn't get me, so he did these

killings to discredit the hospital.

And then he went out of his mind? And the authorities will be looking for

forever. And we'll be off the hook.

Dr. Good, you scare me sometimes.

You think I'm not scared?

I scare myself.

What about that?

Do I have to think of everything?

Use your imagination.

I'm going to make you pay, Dr. Good.

This hospital's going to be mine. All.

Oh, my.

Y 'all, what do you want, Crotch? I thought you went home to Hackensack.

Appiah Floyd, where?

There. Hey, I wonder if you two guys could help me out with a small problem.

A medical problem?

You could say that. Follow me.

Get out! Look, Grace, court battles are expensive.

Our time is worth too much. When you consider that... I've heard enough.

No, you get out your checkbook.

Let's settle. What's the book value of this hospital?

Let's discuss this case.

You have no case.

Those deaths were accidents.

The hospital is not to blame.

I'm going to file a DA's report Monday reporting who is really to blame. Who is

that? And is there malpractice insurance?

I doubt if that would do any good.

Dr. Fine is missing.

Fine. That and any.

We don't have all the details yet.

But we're putting together a preliminary report.

Which I will review.

It will show Fine as having a profound personal crisis, which he was trying to

conceal.

We could cut him up into small pieces and run him through the disposal in the

kitchen. This man was a god of healing.

He could do wonders with those hands.

I'd give anything to have those hands.

Thank you.

About 50 gallons of nitric acid should do it.

No, better.

We'll put him in the lion's cage at the zoo.

That's disgusting.

What a good idea.

Dr. Harvey, we're talking about one of the greatest surgeons who ever lived.

You don't feed the co -inventor of the artificial spleen to lions.

No, he'd be more than with hyenas.

Al, we've got to do something with this stiff and damn quick. If somebody sees

this, we're all dead meat. Well, let's put him on the gurney, get him out of

building, and we'll figure out what to do with him later.

Too conspicuous.

Use a wheelchair.

So you see, Mr. Paul.

We can't be held responsible for the actions of someone who had a problem we

no way of knowing about. Well, don't think you buried the last of me.

I know you were close to your sister and brother -in -law, and I'd like to offer

my condolences.

I got a better idea.

You buried them.

I got better things to do.

Fine. I mean, good.

If you just sign this release for the bodies, I'll see to it that they are

to rest in quiet element.

What is wrong?

Dr. Harvey, who is this patient?

This is Mr. Burns.

Bertram Burns.

Remember Mr.

Burns? Oh, right. How's he doing?

Well, he won't be getting any waste. Dr. Harvey means he's stable.

What's cooking?

We're taking him to Memorial.

We consulted with that specialist that you recommended.

Oh, yes. He's expecting him.

Whoa. Hurry up. I know some people over at Memorial. Maybe I know him. Do you

know... Dr. Gupta Yakamoto O 'Brien of the psychology department?

Uh, sure.

Lizard, if you need a lawyer, call me.

There.

Very contagious.

Panda pox. I wouldn't get too close.

Where do I know him?

Mr. Polk, please. We have to move him out of here.

Wait a minute. Not so fast, lady.

He's just some...

that's picked up some disease somewhere i know that face

that's fine i knew it

After today, this will all be a memory.

Good community will be a thing of the past.

Whoa! Who are you? I like this. And great good in all of you witnesses will

mincemeat. Who are you?

You're repeating yourself, lady.

Goodbye.

Rona! It's not them, Matt. It's Robert.

Robert! That's right. Robert Good, a .k .a. Bobby B. Good.

And now I have it. And you and your stupid hospital and your staff and your

patients can all go to hell.

When I show up Monday morning and put in my claim to being the only last heir to

the good fortune, you'll all be grease spots.

Can't we talk this over? Too late for talk. See?

Congratulations. Floyd, where did you learn to spit like that?

At my granddaddy's knee. I've been drowning flies since I'm four.

Come on, everybody!

Three cheers for Dr.

Good!

A place is infected with them, Stud.

Good heavens!

Where's the doctor?

May I help you?

Well, Stud and I were on our way to church with a buddy of ours, right,

Yes. And this guy was down the street making a withdrawal at Community Bank.

Well, the next thing we know is he's getting beat up by the automatic teller.

never seen nothing so violent.

Beating up pretty bad.

Can you help him, lady?

I don't think so, Grace.

Vine's gone, and this man looks like he needs a brain surgery. The old guy

didn't have no ID on him. Can you help him, lady?

I founded this hospital on the belief that all men are created equal, rich or

poor. Good doesn't care less about credit rating.

Being a good neighbor is good philosophy.

By God, good is going to help this man.

Good will help all who come to her doors.

Give us your tired.

Give us your poor.

Give us your destitute. Give us a break, lady. The guy's bleeding to death.

Harvey Schweitzer, try it.

Oh, yes, we do. Who?

Me. You?

Yes, me, Grace. Good. I'm a qualified brain surgeon.

Grace, you never told me. There are a lot of things I never told you. You're

kind of woman.

Be quiet now.

It's a surgery with him. Harvey Schweitzer, you'll assist me.

This way, boys.

pay you all for saving his life.

P .J. and I own the community bank.

Yes, that's true, we do.

And not only will I tear up this loan, but my brother and I will establish an

endowment fund to put Good Community Hospital back on its feet.

Yes, right, P .J.? Right, J .P. Yes, you must all continue your good work.

Thank you, Nurse Muffet. What's your first name?

Mary. The figure?

Thank you, Norman.

Thank you, Herb.

Show me.

Thank you

Show me. Show me. Show me.

Show me.