Original subtitles

? Never gonna stop

? Cos we never get enough

? We run till we're out of time Hey, hey, hey

? And when we get to the end... ? AOIFE GROWLS

? We're gonna do it again

? Cos tonight is when we come alive. ?

Code one security breach! Ah!

Aoife, what are you doing?

So you might be wondering why I'm on the floor in a prom dress

getting absolutely soaked.

Cue the rewind.

So we missed out on a promotion because of a dodgy ref.

WHISTLE BLOWS Foul! Foul!

WHISTLE BLOWS No basket.

So that's why I'm going to do this.

Sir, I'd like to make an official complaint

about the ref from our last match.

He had it in for us. Mm.

And do you have proof of this?

Camera footage? Witness testimony? Sniffer dogs?

No. Phew, that's that, then.

End of season.

Praise be.

We do have one last tiresome problem before I can actually

get to concentrate on something important,

like the school dance.

We won our league and got promoted to yours.

Yeah, so?

So, the rules state that a school can only have

one team per league.

You are both now in the same league, which means by the end of the week

I have to decide which team stays and which one doesn't.

But what will happen to the team that doesn't get picked?

Oh, nothing dramatic. They'll just disband.

VIPERS GASP

One team is quite enough.

The Vipers were here first!

Cobras won their league!

Oh, I have got enough torture with the school dance coming up.

Maybe for once think, "How can I give back to the school -

"instead of constantly take, take, take?"

I will take that, I will take that, and I will take that.

Inferior boyband.

The end of the Vipers.

Hmm, can't wait.

The Vipers could cease to exist!

Hold me.

OK, team talk.

The ref still hasn't been brought to justice.

No. But... No. But... No.

We covered this.

We can't do anything about the ref.

We need to focus on getting Holt to choose us.

Holt wants us to give back,

so let's do something givey-backey.

Not technically a word, but she's got a point.

Do not say fashion show.

Never mind.

Let's keep thinking,

but making Midvale a better place

is just as easy as landing this hook shot

in that bin.

VIPERS GASP

OK, plan:

wow Holt with some Midvale cheer

to demonstrate school spirit -

so that he has to pick us!

I know what you're up to,

and it's pathetic.

Oh, yeah? What plan have you got hatching

to make Holt pick you?

Literally nothing.

Face it, your team's a joke.

"Oh, we're Vipees and we're besties!"

Actual vom.

Oi, oi, anyone for tennis?

Oh, oh! HOCKEY STICKS CLATTER

And your coach doesn't have a clue about basketball.

Maybe, but even he knows the Vipers deserve to represent Midvale.

Even he...?

I bet you've already got a plan all plotted out, haven't you?

"Please excuse Jessica early today because she has

"the dentist..."

Oh.

I don't need to do anything.

You'll mess things up all by yourself.

Ha! As if.

School dance fundraiser. Enthusiasm is mandatory.

Whoopie? Mm-hm.

Are we expected to dance?

The clue is in the name, "dance".

Yeah, I'm not going.

Well, I am. Just wait till you see how the ladies

react to my moves.

BEN LAUGHS

MR HOLT: Not again!

You can't quit! You signed a binding contract!

Rachel from the dance committee.

Fifth person to drop out this week.

Phew! Crisis averted!

Yeah. Only a complete idiot would sign up to the dance committee.

I've signed the Vipers up for dance committee!

Give me one good reason why I should

entrust this massively important fundraising event to you.

Well, no-one else will touch it.

Plus, it'll be a great chance to see how givey the Vipers truly are.

A failed dance equals moaning parents,

equals my living nightmare.

Ruin this at your peril.

Well, he's obviously delighted,

and the Vipers will be thrilled!

We've entered actual hell!

There's a reason why everyone quits - it's a poisoned chalice!

Yeah, you can never please anyone, no matter what you do.

Ah-ha!

That's where the clever is - because if we pull this off,

we'll be heroes and Holt will be like,

"The Vipers can represent Midvale!

"And the Cobras can wander into the desert for years."

Right! Cunning.

So we'll all have jobs.

Zara, you'll be on accounts.

Nyla, security.

And, Char, decorations.

And I've given myself the most importantest job of all.

Acting normal?

Creating a killer dance launch.

I remember my first school dance.

My amazing dress,

Alan Costello in a tux.

BRID SIGHS

Good times.

What's up with Jim?

Existential crisis.

Nothing a bit of whale song won't sort.

Oh, Mum's signature carrot cake!

Especially for the tired dance helpers

beavering away upstairs.

Yeah, we're not going or helping - but I'll have two slices.

Er, hang on!

You mean, you're not going?

Something to reveal AFTER we'd got the cake.

Well, I'm going. Er, not only should you be going -

you should be helpful and do a job.

She's got a point.

I-I-If we were busy, they wouldn't expect us to dance.

Yeah, but busy doing what?

Is she gone? Kill the music, DJ.

That's it!

We'll be DJs!

Yes, that is an awesome idea!

Whoa! There's a lot more to it than cool threads

and saying "wika-wika-wicked" a lot.

You need an image. We'll put our own spin on it.

Get it?

Never mind, come on.

So much for a killer dance launch.

And who's Midvale Dan?

It's dance. We just couldn't afford a C or E.

How am I going to put this launch into my design portfolio?

Huh! This could ruin my career!

Well, look on the bright side,

there are no security issues.

Yeah, because nobody's here.

That's a point.

Where is everyone?

BAGPIPE MUSIC PLAYS

We plant this tree in memory of the school cat, Jasper.

Jasper... is dead?

I only just petted him this morning!

That's because he's alive.

He got adopted by Ms Dobbins two roads over.

Aoife, will you please show some respect?

I'd like to thank the Cobras for giving back to the school,

a lovely idea from a wonderful team.

There's a full buffet inside.

All welcome.

I'd have thought you'd be too busy organising the dance

to gate-crash a memorial.

Not a good start.

Thought you had nothing planned.

Just a small gesture to remind Holt how selfless we are.

How did the launch go?

Oh, dear. Never mind.

If it's giving back Holt wants,

then we're going to give back even harderer.

Ahem!

What have you got on netball?

Er, I mean three on three?

Dum Dum's Guide To Three On Three?

No.

Dum Dum's Guide To Basketball?

No.

Dum Dum's Guide To Sports That Aren't Football?

That's the one.

OK, so we know Holt is literally impossible to please,

but he still loves the world's most environmentally conscious boyband.

Boyosphere.

So I'll book a tribute act.

But we still don't have a theme.

I need inspo, stat.

You know, I still have the dress I wore for my first dance.

You could wear it if you want.

Uh! No, thanks, we're just going to keep it more casual.

It's not casual.

It's a memory I'll treasure, as your mum.

Seeing you becoming a beautiful young lady.

Oh!

Please, not the blubbing.

Oh-ho! But I get it.

It's OK.

Yeah, i-it's fine. It's fine.

You don't have to wear my special dress.

I-It doesn't matter.

Ooh!

Oh, Mum, of course I'd love to wear your...

...special dress.

Ah, my eyes!

Yes! I'll get my make-up case!

A vintage prom theme.

Girls in sophisticated dresses and boys in tuxes.

Sophisticated?! Looks like a birthday cake.

I vote vintage prom theme.

I just want to see Aoife in that dress.

Second. Third. Fine.

But I'm changing right before I go in.

She'll never know. Best idea.

I'm going to volunteer to chaperone at the dance.

Then I can see you in it all night!

Oh!

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

I apologise for what's about to happen.

Yo, it's the renegade Clangstar!

And the Conorsseur!

Super cool DJs here to save the dance

and, wika-wika-wow, mix it up!

Pew!

Band in, DJs out.

If we're not DJs, then we're not going.

You going to tell my mum that?

Does it look like I have a death wish?

Exactly. So we have to go.

But everyone will be watching us.

Nah, they'll be focusing on my moves.

Yawn.

Could you give us some lessons?

Well, I've got Ashley Banjo later.

But, yeah, I should be able to squeeze you in.

Do we actually think he can dance?

He-he, any questions?

Er, yes.

Have you ever actually seen yourself dancing?

Yeah, that's how I bust moves.

Don't say "bust moves", bro.

Listen, you want to bust a dance?

I just gave you the how-to.

Oh.

Oh, Ashley - got to bounce.

Ooh! Ah!

This is not good.

I know. He is genuinely deluded.

No, I mean, who's going to teach us to dance now?

We're doomed!

I'm about to seal the deal for the Vipers

to represent Midvale.

See you later.

Hello! Yes, I'd like to book one of your big tribute acts

for our excellent school dance.

Yes, I'll hold.

The dance will suck,

Holt will pick the Cobras,

then it's, "Bye-bye, Vipees!"

Mm.

Yeah, I'd like to book Boyos...

What the actual...?!

WHISTLE BLOWS

No basket. What?!

Time was up.

Basket doesn't count.

The ref... is with Jessica?

I'm nearly sure it was him.

The ref dropped Jessica off at school.

Not this again.

How would they even know each other?

You could be hallucinating.

I mean, at some point today you thought

those ribbons were a good look.

Yikes.

Being nearly sure about the ref is not enough,

so we need to focus on the dance.

Yeah, let's crush her with dance.

Activate speech mode.

Print my posters, order more sausage rolls

and get environmentally friendly paper streamers.

We are going to be the team that reps Midvale!

APPLAUSE Woo!

Thank you.

Tickets for the dance!

Why can't everybody just dance as bad as us?

Or as good as me.

Bro, nobody dances like you.

I know.

If everyone danced like him,

then we wouldn't have to worry.

What if we make them dance like Ben?

I inputted your excellent moves, and...

...I'll add a few details to keep you anonymous.

Immortalised in a meme? About time.

How do we make that cool?

By doing nothing.

Kids these days don't know what's cool till it goes viral.

Now we just create mystique with a cool name.

So, did anyone find out who he is?

Who?

Midvale Dan.

Midvale Dan!

Perfect. Now we just post it and let social media hysteria do the rest.

? Uh

? You just stepped in the danger zone

? Man, you shoulda slept Shoulda stayed at home

? What you gonna do? ? LAUGHTER

? You better tell the competition they better not sleep

? Cos what we're gonna do gonna break that... ?

I know three on three.

Show me.

LIBRARIAN SIGHS

Well, you lost marks for saying that the three-second rule

is when you drop food on the kitchen floor,

but...

Yes! That's a slam duke!

Ga! Ga! Yah!

Fire! Killer! Slay!

Not a word.

Belle of the ball!

Aw!

If Holt picks us, then looking like a birthday cake

will totally be worth it!

OK, so let's get this party started.

In three, two, one.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You look great!

Wow!

What are they wearing?

That's not the theme.

It's that stupid dance meme!

Ugh! Conor!

MUSIC PLAYS

? Last night... ?

Mission success!

Midvale Dan has penetrated the school psyche!

We're legit influencers now!

Awesome! But when are we going to tell everyone

that they're my moves?

The right moment will present itself.

And then we soak up all the fame.

? Never be the same

? Never be the same. ?

There she is, barely keeping it together!

Half the school is dressed like some lame meme.

Actually, I have everything under control.

The Cute Animal Society brought a donkey.

Now they want carrots.

I came prepared!

The sausage rolls!

I accidentally ordered...

...vegan!

Supply extra condiments.

No-one will notice. Roger.

Copy that.

There's a security breach on the west side.

Kids trying to get in for free.

Lock and load.

MR HOLT: Well, this is all surprisingly not terrible.

Sausage rolls are good.

I think you'll like this next surprise, sir.

Just for you.

Boyosphere are heading to the stage!

Wait, really?

An evening with Boyosphere?

Actual OMG.

Hello, Midvale!

Uh!

Bleur!

What the...?

Strange.

When did Boyosphere go all death metal?

They didn't. Welcome to hell!

Bleur!

So it turns out, whilst I was being distracted by Jessica...

I'd like to book Boyo...

What the actual?!

...instead of booking Boyosphere,

I actually booked Boys of Fear.

But I've had a mature chat with the band.

Please! Just play some Boyosphere!

Please.

Please?

I've been hiding here ever since.

I'm too afraid to look!

We've been looking for you.

Yeah, what's up?

Isn't it obvious?

No way Holt will choose us now.

It's a mess.

No, it's going good.

Come and see.

Holt totally adored the band.

They're best buddies now.

Turns out they're actually pretty good at playing Boyosphere.

I absolutely loved your version of Solar Panelled Heart.

Aw, it's a total success!

Go Vipers!

This bodes well for the Vipers repping Midvale.

VIPERS: Woo!

This is amazing!

The Vipers are about to finish another school year

on a total high!

And...

Wait a minute.

That's him! That's that ref!

? Never gonna stop

? Cos we never get enough

? We burn till we're out of time Hey, hey, hey

? And when we get to the end... ? AOIFE GROWLS

? We're gonna do it again

? Cos tonight is when we come alive... ?

Uh! Oh!

Code one security breach!

Urgh! Aoife?

What are you doing? Uh!

And that's where we came in.

Tell me you saw that guy just then.

Nope.

Oh, unless you mean Jessica's uncle?

Yeah, he just dropped off her phone.

She forgot it. Wait, that's Jessica's uncle?

Yeah. You've probably seen him before.

He refs basketball, too.

What?!

So I was right?

The ref is Jessica's uncle.

That's why we lost our last game!

The Cobras cheated!

And I want everyone to know!

APPLAUSE

Good evening, students.

First, I'd like to thank you all for coming.

After a lot of effort from the Vipers

and a very pleasant evening,

big shout-out to Boys of Fear...

Bleurgh! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Bleurgh.

Vipers!

Sh! He's about to announce who reps Midvale and who ceases to exist.

I literally can't handle the tension!

Please be us.

I've just discovered Jessica's uncle is the ref.

She cheated!

What? Seriously?! Ahh!

I'm telling Holt... now.

What?! No, no.

Holt hates when you do things like this.

Don't rock the boat!

Hold her! Agh!

OK, so time for a big recap.

It all started when the Cobras were like...

Midvale Cobras will easily get promoted to League Two.

Then, we're coming for you Vipers.

They played really well all season. Yes!

We won our league yesterday. So? We're going to win ours, too.

But we didn't.

Time was up. Basket doesn't count.

We were robbed by a dodgy ref!

But it was just before the buzzer.

Final decision.

Now we're both in the same league.

Holt has a big decision to make.

A school can only have one team per league.

And it's not looking good for the Vipers.

The end of the Vipers.

And it's all Jessica's fault.

Can't wait.

The Vipers could cease to exist.

It's just not right. Justice must be done!

That's why I'm going to do this.

Agh! Aoife! No, wait!

I have decided that the team to represent Midvale is...

Wait!

Oh, what now?!

Jessica got the ref to cheat. Oh, for the love of...

Why on earth would he agree to that?

SHE SMIRKS

Because he's her uncle.

GASPING

Is this true? Is Aoife right about something?!

So what if she is?

You know how annoying the Vipers are.

I mean, that is true.

We're the better team anyway.

The Vipers are done.

We're besties. We're never done.

It's not all about "being besties".

Just because all you have is clones.

It's about winning, and we did.

True, Cobras are better, but you also cheated.

So, I'm picking... You think they're better than us?

Does it matter? Of course it matters! Right.

We'll prove that, unlike Cobras, we're besties, and we're the best.

Match. Winner represents Midvale.

Right here, right now.

It's a dance. It's a court.

Are you actually that stupid, Aoife? We'll win.

Let's see, then.

Winner represents Midvale?

Agreed, but you have to wait until I finish my speech.

THEY SIGH

And that is the end of my speech.

Game on.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wait. Who's going to ref? We need someone who's fair.

Me! I'll do it.

Hand me that whistle.

Do you know 3x3?

That's one minute.

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Let's get some pass and move going.

Nyla, set a ball screen for Aoife for an easy first bucket.

And watch clone three, she's a lefty.

Right. Time to serve justice with a side helping of Viper venom.

I had that line prepared.

Hands in for the last time this season.

Maybe last time, full stop.

No, Vipers forever!

We got this.

ALL: One, two, three!

MUSIC: Half Man, Half Machine by Clement Marfo

I'm going to enjoy ending you Vipers.

And I'm going to enjoy ending that smug look on your face.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Ball's live!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Move!

MUSIC: Half Man, Half Machine by Clement Marfo

We need this!

The next point wins!

Try the hook shot.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Yes!

Let justice be served. I had that line prepared, too.

ALL: Vipers, Vipers, Vipers, Vipers, Vipers, Vipers, Vipers!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Come on!

Welcome to the stage Midvale Dan, AKA Ben!

Come on, Jess. Join in.

DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES

The Vipers have won and the dance is a hit,

and I'm on top of the world!

SHE SCREAMS

? Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, do

? Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, do. ?

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