Original subtitles

? Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-doo

? Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-doo. ?

PANTING

Faster, I'm going to miss it!

Five years of box fit for what?!

Come on! You may be wondering

why I'm covered in mud when I should be playing in my league final.

AOIFE PANTS Come on, breathe!

Pump it! Here's the rewind.

So I'm just practising my around-the-waist finger roll layup.

Almost.

But life is still - ah! - amazing.

Why? Eh, I think Jamie's going to ask me to kiss any second now.

Hey, Aoife.

Hey.

Not right now, because we're in school, obvs.

And B, it's final week!

It's final week!

And Girls In Sports Week.

The local council has selected us as ambassadors.

Do head ambassadors get any extra perks?

No, just extra demand on our time.

Also, we have training EVERY day this week.

Let's swear our commitment.

Make sure we attend all training.

No distractions.

Pinky swear.

And everyone knows double pinksies means no backsies.

Good luck in the final, Jess.

Jess, you're amazing.

Er, news flash - you haven't won anything yet.

You think you're just going to walk it?

Yes, but that's not why I'm celebrating.

I'VE been invited to try out for the county squad.

County squad? Who cares?

I mean, if they asked me, I would never.

Aoife, they want you to try out for the county squad.

Wait, seriously? They want ME? Well, I'm assuming it's you.

It says, "Tall girl, bit gangly."

That is me. Thank you!

I mean, if this was football, then I'd say well done,

but as I have no real interest in basketball,

I'll just ask you to unhand me!

"Selection will take place all this week.

"First session is tomorrow," during Vipers training.

I'll chat through with the girls.

I mean, everybody knows pinky swears can totally have backsies.

Clover, clover, get your lucky clover.

You're in luck.

If you buy this clover.

It smells like soup.

That's because it's parsley.

You just lost us a sale.

What's this, anyway?

Girls in sport?

Yep. We've got our VIP breakfast,

photo shoot and general glory incoming!

All ending with our big final against Jess's Comets.

Sounds like you'll be needing some special, lucky parsley clover, then.

Oh, we're OK for luck.

I petted a black cat this morning.

You do that every day. CHARLOTTE CHUCKLES

Anyway, I'm insulted you think we'd fall for

one of your silly scams.

Surely you can do better.

CONOR LAUGHS

So, this is your schedule for the week.

Doesn't look too bad.

Definitely enough room for a full week of county trials.

This is draft seven.

No room for anything else, so don't ask.

I mean, it's not like I was going to make the trials anyway,

so no point in going.

New boots, especially for trials.

They have talent scouts there too.

Some girls even get a scholarship. So?

Oh, sorry.

I know this is something you can only dream about.

Right, that's it.

I'm going.

Great job, everyone.

Plan - wait until after a successful session to bring up the news.

So, I know that tomorrow is, like,

a super-important training session and everything.

Every session this week is.

That's why I'm skipping debate club.

I'm missing fashion academy.

And it's fun with beading week.

I'm missing taekwondo.

We were going to learn the axe kick.

Wah! Wah!

O...K.

What were you going to say, anyway?

Just that I'll be missing loads of really important stuff, too.

New plan - do both, say nothing.

Does Aoife seem a bit weird to you?

Always. I mean, more than usual.

Aoife is chaos.

Things are finally going well. I mean, Jamie, the final.

What's going on? Just back me up.

Maybe it's upset the balance.

Ooh, like some kind of rift in the space-time continuum.

Have you just played with that ball?

Yeah. It can't be.

I'd heard the stories, but...

What's wrong?

It used to belong to a student of Midvale.

His name was Sheldon.

Sheldon Buttshnickle.

Sheldon Buttshnickle?

Never heard of him.

That's because he disappeared.

What, up his own Buttshnickle?

They say he was practising with that ball on the side

of a cliff face and he was never seen again.

But the ball remained cursed and bad luck has come upon anyone

who's played with it since.

Spooky!

The game is afoot.

CAMERA CLICKS

Countdown to county trials.

Hands are shaking, but at least I've got the distraction

of these fancy pastries.

Who's that, then?

The mayor. Holt's getting an award.

For what? I am thrilled to be accepting this award

for promoting girls in sport. APPLAUSE

But, like, seriously?

Especially from a metro mayor, that's an actual mayor.

She has real power.

As a real mayor,

I can confirm this.

Anyway, as you all know,

I have always been absolutely devoted to girls' basketball

and I've encouraged all the players here,

a fine example being Aoife... Uh-oh.

...who, thanks to the careful nurturing of this school,

has recently been selected for... Pastries!

So, as I was saying, I've recently been selected

to dish out these... pastries!

Here we are. This one's custardy, Sir.

And, mayor, may your mayoring be as glorious

as this raspberry Danish. Mm!

So, thanks for the nurturing, everyone.

She's right. It's custard. Mm!

What if it is Sheldon's ball?

Don't be daft.

You saw her!

Maybe there is a rift in the space-time continuum.

Maybe this isn't Aoife.

Maybe it's a dark double.

I enjoy Einstein's theories as much as the next person, but really?

It was probably just a random basketball from the equipment room.

We'll never see it again.

CHARLOTTE SCREAMS

Give it here!

Ow!

That was me good nostril!

I... I won't make training.

You see?

Right, go easy.

No pressure to be the Boat or anything.

Mum, it's the Goat.

Goat, Boat, whatever.

Good luck.

Right, now to get this done and make it back

in time for training.

Er, are you lost or something?

This is an invite-only trial.

Just as well I was invited, then.

You?!

Oh, Aoife, you are way out of your league.

Yeah, whatever. I am...

...way out of my league.

Good news - I did play like the Boat/Goat.

Bad news - I'm now officially late for training.

PHONE RINGS

Hey, the most wonderful brother in the world.

What do you want?

Where is she?

Hang on, she's typing.

Aoife, you all right?

HIGH-PITCHED GROANING

Ew. Doesn't sound like it.

What have you eaten?

GROANING CONTINUES

FARTING

PLOP!

We'll take cover outside.

Hope she's better before the final.

It is Sheldon's ball!

More like a dodgy kebab.

She'll be fine.

How did you get there? Just slipped past.

Didn't you see me?

You're sweating. You sure you're good?

I have an infrared thermometer.

I'm fine.

Let's train.

We have a final, remember?

I can't keep doing this.

I can't keep lying to my team-mates.

So just avoid them all week.

Conor, that is absolute... genius!

You owe me a cream bun,

and I'm taking back full rights to the big, comfy chair.

Aoife, hey!

I'm just going to go sit over there.

Did she just run away?

Normally, I'd say that's the effect you have.

She's been doing it to me all morning.

If she really is Aoife.

Conor, what are the chances Aoife is stuck in an alternate dimension?

Ooh, quite high, I'd say.

She's been acting very strangely.

We need some parsley clover.

I do worry that this won't be enough now that you played

with Sheldon's ball, though. What do you mean?

Well, I've read about this clearing ritual that we can do.

Mm.

It may be wise.

Yes, yes, I will take one.

There will be an administrative fee.

How much?!

Get lost.

It's a big investment.

Chat about it.

We'll circle round later.

I mean, really,

you, at the county trials?

Must be some mistake.

Can you please keep your voice down?

Ahh, you haven't told your teamies yet.

Don't worry.

It'll be our little secret.

I mean, it's not like you'll be picked, anyway.

Yes, I will, and I'll perfect my around-the-waist finger roll layup.

I'll go into the courts first thing when nobody else is... there.

Extra practice?

Oh, so cute.

You don't stand a chance.

Yeah, well, I disagree with that, actually, because...

I'm kind of too tired for trash talk.

Yeah, me too.

PHONE PINGS

Oh, it's my mum.

She always sends me a motivational quote.

"If you're not winning, you're losing."

How lovely.

Eek!

She wants me to be the best at everything.

It's exhausting.

OK, this may sound nuts,

but what if we help each other out?

Why?

I'll help you fix your free throw

in exchange for some finger roll tips.

Depends.

It's not going to get huggy, is it?

What?

No way.

It's just we're both going for county, so we could work together?

Tackle me, yeah, yeah.

Shoot.

You got it in!

Flick your fingers at the top.

Bend your knees and push. Come on.

Like this.

You can just take a sip, it doesn't matter. OK.

So you know our coach? And he's just sent us this video

to show us around-the-waist finger roll.

Brings it up with the same hand. Yeah.

Give this to Aoife, she left it on the courts.

Oh, and tell her to watch that Caitlin Clark vid I sent.

Eh?

Did I hear that right?

Aoife, Jessica, friends?

Now do you believe me?

We need to bring out the big guns.

KEYBOARD CLACKS PHONE PINGS

Cleaning ceremony.

They want it.

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't approve, but given the circumstances,

"we'll pay whatever it costs."

Cha-ching!

So, this week's been all go.

Hardly known where I am,

but I'm pretty sure this is my last county trial session.

This has been a great opportunity

and I'd like to thank you for letting me try it out.

Eh, that was months ago, remember?

And you got the job!

Or was I at county trials yesterday?

Which makes this...

Yes, the last Vipers training session before the final!

Yeah, let's go!

That's it.

If anybody asks, I literally cannot do anything else.

Hey, Aoife, would you like to go out with me tonight?

Yes!

I know we've been here before,

but this time I think we should kiss.

Right.

Just turn out the light.

Welcome to our chambers.

What are you wearing?

These are our ceremonial robes.

You mean your mums' dressing gowns?

These are sacred garments!

Can we just get this done, please?

CONOR CLEARS THROAT This way.

We are gathered here today to appease the ghost

of Sheldon Buttshnickle.

If you are here, give us a sign.

SHE GASPS

Er, Sheldon, we have an offering of this pamphlet on cliff safety.

And by lighting this special candle...

...we appease thee, asking the bad luck curse

to be removed for good.

CLATTERING, SCREAMING

It seems like Sheldon's not happy.

What have I done?!

I want my Mummy!

HE LAUGHS You doughnut!

It wasn't planned.

So, Mum's talking to the county selector,

making annoying small talk.

It's fine.

I don't care if I make the team or not.

It's the taking part that...

You made it!

Yes!

You made it! You made it! You made it! You made it!

I'd better text Jessica.

Ah, about that.

Best not.

Wait, are you saying Jessica...

Didn't get picked.

What? No way!

I can't believe it.

It's not like they've chosen a great squad, anyway.

I mean, you still can't even do a proper finger roll.

Er, yeah, I can. Practically.

I'll unveil it in the final.

You won't be playing at the final.

Er, yeah, I will.

The first county training camp is on at the same time.

What?

No, what will I do?

Dump the Vipers, of course.

OK, we're sorry.

It was a joke.

It doesn't matter.

We have bad luck anyway.

Look, here's your money.

That's a lucky thing, isn't it?

No.

It's tainted.

I'll have it.

Zara, talk to her.

What if she's right?

Aoife's off and the Comets are so strong.

Maybe getting to the final was dumb luck anyway.

Fine. That's it.

What are you doing?

POP!

There.

The curse hath been broken.

Phew! Great.

Now we can focus on the final and forget about bad luck,

which actually has no empirical evidence to support it.

I suppose you've heard the bad news, then.

You made the county squad! And you'll miss the final!

Jessica.

Why didn't you tell us?

Cos she's evil.

What?

No, I just didn't think I'd get picked.

Then why even try out?

I can do both.

I mean, if we just delay the final a tiny bit.

What's a tiny bit?

Four hours?

Just forget it, Aoife.

We'll play the final on our own.

But...

That went better in my head.

So you've been doing both all week?

No wonder you fell asleep on our date.

Sorry.

Hopefully there was no sleep drool.

A bit, but it's fine.

Save your apology for the team.

They won't listen.

They will.

They're your best friends.

They're always going to have your back

like you have theirs.

Yeah.

You're right.

Thanks!

Got to go.

Sorry, we have a big final later.

It's players only.

I am a player. Yeah, for the county team.

I'm not going to join the squad.

Come again?

Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

It's just everything got a bit crazy

and I just want to play with my best friends.

You're really giving up county?

I've already made my mind up.

So, can I be a Viper again?

Vipers, let's huddle.

This isn't tense at all.

We want you to play for county. Hm?

We think it's a good way to restore the space-time continuum.

You've worked really hard for this team

and this is your big chance.

You'd really do that for me?

We'll find a sub from somewhere.

As long as it's not Conor wearing your old trainers.

Enjoy camp.

Don't worry, I'll look after the Vipers for you.

Does her mum never hug her or something?

Right. Deep cleansing breath...

THEY INHALE DEEPLY

Aligning the chakras. And...

Ready? Yeah.

No. Slightly terrified.

I wish the girls were here.

NYLA VOICEOVER: Aoife, here's some lucky parsley clover

to help you play well.

CHARLOTTE VOICEOVER: And look fierce.

ZARA VOICEOVER: Even if it does make you smell a bit like soup.

So, a few months back I was like, "Here I am in Midvale."

It actually looks quite nice.

AOIFE VOICEOVER: Tall, pasty, no mates.

But then I met these few girls.

We're not going to beg. You in or out?

ALL: Please!

AOIFE VOICEOVER: Crazy... Slay!

...geeky... You can't get 110%.

...scary... Will it involve physical danger

and resisting potential violence?

Might do.

AOIFE VOICEOVER: And they kind of grew on me.

There were a few tight matches...

CHEERING

...Army stuff...

LASERS WHIZZ AOIFE GRUNTS

...Shakespeare...

Oh, Romeo, Romeo! Yes!

...pirates...

Pirate!

And so that's why I'm about to do this.

We have to go.

I have a final to play.

Come on!

It's all right, girls.

I just want you to do your best,

relax and don't worry about the fact

that the whole school's depending on you.

OK?

Can you drive any faster?

Relax. We're making good time.

AIR HISSES What was that?

Uh! We'll never make it.

Just take it and go.

I'll look for the owner.

But how will you get there?

Owner's permission? Uh! Check.

Now put your foot down, Mum!

INDISTINCT CHATTER

AOIFE AND BRID GRUNT

Come on. Breathe!

AOIFE BREATHES HEAVILY

INDISTINCT CHATTER

AOIFE AND BRID GRUNT, PANT

Go, Aoife!

BRID GROANS

AOIFE PANTS Stop! Stop the game!

I'm here and I'm ready to play.

We're just warming up.

The game doesn't start for another five minutes.

Oh.

Did you even check your schedule?

GIRLS GIGGLE

Ugh. Ew. No. No.

BRID GRUNTS

CHARLOTTE: It's great that you're back, but it's Comets.

We still need luck.

Well, I do still have this.

Phew! It's a miracle!

I know, and thanks.

It was really sweet and all, but...

What are you doing?

We don't need it.

I gave up counting because I believe in the Vipers

and I believe we can win.

And not just because of luck and everything.

We've got here through hard slog,

teamwork and brilliant speeches like the one I'm currently giving.

So let's go out there and do this. Right.

Last time this season?

ALL:

Cue a slow-mo walk to dramatic music.

BRASS BLARES STEADY DRUMS PLAY

CHEERING SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

CAMERAS CLICK

AOIFE CHUCKLES QUIETLY

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes!

MUTED CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUTED CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CROWD GROANS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yeah!

Come on.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

You're out of time, Aoife.

COMETS PLAYER GASPS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE FINAL BUZZER BLARES

RAPTUROUS CHEERING

VIPERS SQUEAL EXCITEDLY RAPTUROUS CHEERING CONTINUES

Go on, the Vipers.

Great game.

A real four-leaf clover?

These are nearly impossible to find.

Well, it... It only took seven hours.

We'd also like to formally apologise - again -

for slightly putting the match at risk.

Yeah. We're glad Conor's prank...

OUR prank.

We're glad Conor's take on OUR prank

didn't cost you the game.

Just found this over there.

Had your names on it.

VIPERS GIGGLE

CLANGER WHIMPERS, WAILS

VIPERS LAUGH

CLANGER CONTINUES WAILING

So, nail-biting match? Check.

Managed to do an awesome finger roll right in front of Jessica's face?

Check.

The Vipers top off an amazing season and crush Jessica's Comets?

Check.

Overbearing mum?

Yes, well, it was me who suggested basketball when she was just ten.

Check.

The only thing that can make my life any better is...

I'll be saving that for later.

Well played. See you outside?

Me and Jamie swanning off into the sunset, chasing...

Aoife!

It's from a talent scout.

READING: "We admire Aoife's commitment

"and we'd like to offer her a scholarship." To California?

Yes!

? Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-doo

? Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo, doo-doo. ?

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