Original subtitles

? Do-do-doo, do-do-do-doo

? Do-do-doo, do-do-do-doo. ?

What do you mean, what am I doing? What does it look like?

Oh! Urgh!

Oh! Granny!

Aoife?

This isn't what it looks like.

Please watch the rewind.

VIDEOTAPE REWINDS

Cheer up, sad sack, it's Saturday! Look where we are.

For the awesomest reason.

It's all right for you, I'm being unfairly punished.

He so isn't.

THEY MIMIC SQUEAKING

Oh!

SHE SCREAMS

Have fun in detention.

Hope you lose your game!

It's a tournament.

The Midville Invitational.

Two whole days of three-on-three basketball.

Which team will triumph? I don't know.

Maybe the ones meeting early for a secret practice session.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Aw! Did you think you'd be first?

Never going to happen.

Annoyingly impressive.

Urgh!

OK, so Comets are favourites. Bleugh!

They're at the top of the league, and everyone still loves Jessica...

...because she's some sort of supermodel now, apparently.

They're just feet, weirdo!

Look, we're on a roll. We have six wins in a row.

We're shooting up the table.

Our confidence is at an all-time high.

We've got underdog spirit - and matching water bottles.

Urgh!

And a changing room that always smells like poo!

Why, Jim? Why?

Jessica said you wanted it, which I thought was a bit unusual, but...

...hey, badminton's a funny old game.

Ooh!

Dirty tricks, is it?

Sure she's scared.

Let's see how she likes the pungent smell of revenge.

Argh!

Why is detention so boring?

Well, that's kind of the point, if you think about it.

Yeah, I'm going to go to your house and play some computer games.

Oh, can I come? Your detention is not finished yet.

But we cleaned, like you asked.

And now you're going to make sandwiches,

and then you're going to sell them,

and now you're going to say, "But, Mr Holt..."

But, Mr Holt...

...and I'm going to ignore you, because this tournament is costing

money that we don't have, and the catering staff won't work

at weekends because of all the annoying children.

Well, get on with it!

Wow!

Jess used to be a Viper.

Now she's a Fungirls girl.

They're like the Gucci of foot fungus removers.

The future.

There she is. Hi, Jess.

Vipers! We're at war!

Finally! Who's the enemy?

Girls who wear clumpy clogs.

People who say pacifically.

Way worse.

Jessica and the Comets.

THEY GASP IN SHOCK

Not the reaction I was hoping for.

Jess is our best friend.

If anyone could pull off clogs, it's her.

Her feet are so versatile.

Oh, you don't understand.

Shots have already been fired.

Then you need to unfire them - now.

Urgh! Ew! What is that smell?

Um, that might be a bit tricky...

So... think they're as bad as they look?

Worse.

I almost feel sorry for the girls.

I said almost.

Their stupid tournament's the reason

why we're not playing Bash Crash 'Em at your house.

That, and I don't have the game.

I told you to buy it.

Mum said it's too expensive.

But she has sandwich money for your sister.

Aoife's going to pay us that money.

And the other girls too. We can buy the game with it.

But that's Holt's money.

Not if we sell a secret tastier alternative.

Tastier than grey ham?

Easy!

See, I'm quite a good baker, so I was thinking...

Overruled.

We're making bin jam sandwiches.

Boom!

Oh!

The smell triggers my allergies.

I have yuckinitis.

What have we got? Gulliblitis?

Your poor, perfectly shaped nose.

You should take our room.

What? No way.

It's the least we can do.

Thanks, Vipies. Love you.

Jessica doesn't love you. She tricked Jim first.

She's our enemy.

Vipers don't have enemies.

Except maybe the mongoose.

Once a Viper, always a Viper.

Then where's her water bottle?

I'm just saying, you need to watch out for her today.

Jess was my best friend in primary.

That's a bond that can't be broken.

But... She cares about me - and this team.

See?

Can I interest you in some tasty, cheap sandwiches?

More jam sandwiches?

Yeah, actually, people don't like the jam.

Specifically the mould spores.

They have flavour.

Yeah. Mould flavour.

It's Holt.

Quick, eat.

You haven't sold anything?

Well, make sure that you do.

If I find that you're up to something,

the consequences will be astronomical.

We need to make better food.

Wimp!

WHISTLE BLOWS

Hey! foul on blue.

Time out. Time out.

Time out, Vipers!

Score both of these, and we've won the game.

Yeah, I know how basketball works.

Not sure Jim does.

Keep it short.

Avoid the sand.

Trust the caddy and splash.

Remember, we're a team and we're mates.

And we're team-mates.

You're a genius!

We are a team, a proper team.

Not like when she played.

Aoife, let it go.

Get these two baskets and we're through to the next round.

Short ball's dead.

FART-LIKE SOUND

LAUGHTER

Didn't mean literally let it go.

Who was that?

Good tactic. Deflect and deny.

But I never...

Second short ball's live.

FART-LIKE SOUND

It was Jessica!

Aoife, get the ball!

CHEERING

Mine don't even sound like that.

We've got 20 minutes left until our next game.

Which we wouldn't even be in if it wasn't for Zara's great two-pointer.

So if you have to do anything...

Like what? Think of a number.

Maybe two.

FLY BUZZES

I don't need a poo!

Jessica had that thing that made that noise.

Don't we all have those?

Jess is our friend.

Some friend!

She literally ditched you guys to win trophies, remember?

I would never do anything like that.

Jealousy doesn't suit you, Aoife.

Do you even care about this team?

Of course I do.

Whatever your problem with Jess is, you need to get over it.

OK, I'll drop it.

Hey, you guys. Just wanted to say hard...

SHE RETCHES AND COUGHS

Sorry.

Get well soon, Aoife.

And now I'm picking it right back up.

SHE GASPS

Oh!

Just enough time to prove that Jess is lying.

Which one's her locker?

Oh, world's greatest detective I just might be.

Towels.

Loads of foot spray.

Biscuits!

Mm, tasty ones.

A water bottle.

Wait - what's this?

Hmm.

FART�LIKE NOISE

Hmm.

Just getting my water.

Actually, I must have left it on the court.

Oops.

This is fine.

There's still ten minutes until the quarterfinal.

That's plenty of time for the world's greatest detective

to pick a simple lock.

We won't start without her.

ALL: Aoife!

My sample's ready, Chef.

Mine too, Chef.

Sorry. Head Chef.

So - we pick the tastiest.

Yeah?

Make loads, sell loads.

Get game. OK.

Well, I bake my cupcakes with eggs, flour, sugar, vanilla.

And I made mine with scampi fries,

liquorice, old jam and grated ham in a bag.

Mm.

Mm, mm.

I've made my decision.

A clear and obvious winner. Congrats. Thanks.

What?

You can't be serious.

I'm Head Chef, Chef.

Which means I'm a better chef than you, chef, Chef.

No, you're not.

And you're not the boss of me.

All of the time.

This is how we get the game.

No-one's going to want to even buy your...

...sick 'n' mix.

Fine, then, get the game yourself.

I bet more people want to buy my stuff than your disgusting cakes.

Hello? Hello.

Can you let me out?

Is anyone there?

Hello? Hello.

Thanks for letting us change in here, Jess.

My nose thanks you too.

Thank you, Jess.

You're so lovely, giving me Aoife's water bottle.

I wish I knew where mine was.

I wish we knew what happened to Aoife.

FART-LIKE NOISE

Quiet. She's close by.

MORE FART-LIKE NOISES

It was a machine.

She framed me.

I have proof.

She obviously went to a shop and bought this

while you were playing.

Is this why you missed our quarterfinal?

No, but...

Yeah, but not like she said.

What if we'd lost? You didn't?

How?

Well...

They won tickets to a trampoline park in Italy.

They forfeit and we win!

It doesn't matter how.

You abandoned us after you promised to leave Jess alone.

Oh, I hate it when she's right.

Maybe you should sit out the next game.

Give these guys some space.

Uh, no.

It's for a place in the final, and we're team-mates.

WE'RE a team, and WE'RE mates.

Maybe you should stay away until you understand that.

Did I just get fired?

Aoife.

Aoife!

Tell me you can see that.

Why aren't you playing?

I got banished for declaring war on Jessica.

No way!

I declared war on Clanger.

On Clanger?

Explains the disguise.

I'm not hiding.

This is a marketing gimmick.

Double Dribble Cafe? What's that?

Selling extra stuff. Don't tell Holt. Now, excuse me.

Will you please come back and tell me the scores? I'm dying to know.

No time. Got another batch in the oven.

Just do it yourself.

Well, I told them I'd give them space, and if they see me...

How would you like an assistant?

No!

SHOUTS OF SUPPORT

Need... to... breathe.

Time out. Time out, Vipers!

New lungs, please.

This is all my fault.

They're exhausted and we have no subs.

I need to do something.

They're not free. My brother...

On second thoughts, take as many as you like.

Eat one. Eat more.

Don't think, just eat.

Mm!

WHISTLE BLOWS

Time in.

Tasty.

Shoot!

CHEERING

CHEERING

EXCITED SQUEALS

Yes! We're in the final!

Uh-oh. Why is this head so heavy?

Oh!

They're OK, I guess. But I've got a plan.

After tonight, they won't stand a chance.

I heard that.

Where'd you get all that from?

Everybody loves sick 'n' mix.

They're all daring each other to eat it.

That doesn't sound like love.

And sick 'n' mix was my name.

Mine now. And so's all this cash.

Nearly enough to buy the game.

Aoife gave out too many free samples.

First rule of business.

Don't have a sister.

It's fine. People actually like my cakes. I'll make my money tomorrow.

Unless Holt catches us first.

THEY LAUGH

Must... warn... Vipers!

I can't believe we're in the final.

Yeah, and we'll have Aoife back, so we can smash them.

Respectfully. If we even want her.

She did what we wanted.

Yeah, I was expecting some elaborate plan to get her involved,

but it never came.

You're right. But if there's more anti-Jess stuff, she's out again.

Giant cupcake! Yum-yum!

This must be Jessica. But they'll never believe me.

I need to sort this out myself.

Mum!

So the Vipers can't sleep because their doorbells keep ringing.

Char's bell went off at 5:05 and Zara's went off at 5:20,

which means... Nyla's next!

You were right!

World's Greatest Detective is back.

Granny? Aoife?

This isn't what it looks like.

Found this one sneaking about.

You're Fungus Boy?

The one who's always ogling over the poster?

The one who's obsessed with Jessica's foot fungus.

Ew!

She doesn't have foot fungus.

Jessica's perfect in every way.

You sound like Zara.

Sorry.

Did Jess send you here to do this to us?

I can't believe it. Me neither. Literally.

Fungus Boy admitted it, Zara. He was doing it for her.

There's no way Jess was behind it. He must have gone rogue.

I'm finding it so hard to not scream in her face right now.

The important thing is that we're in the final today.

Good job Aoife got Conor to let us use the food tech room for a nap.

I'm more impressed you haven't gloated about Jessica yet.

Ha-ha.

We're so sorry. You will always be right.

Never even crossed my mind.

What are those?

Chocolate and strawberry sauces, to write names on the cakes.

COUGHS: Desperate!

Holt.

Told you not to do that.

Quick! He can't see our extra goodies.

Put his sandwiches back out.

Explain this.

Are you selling extra merchandise for yourselves?

Oh, no answer.

Well, I'll just stay here until you think of one, shall I?

Here I am, staying here.

LIGHT SNORING

ALARM CLOCK SOUNDS

Vipers.

We need to get going.

Urgh!

Jessica's locked us in!

Aoife.

Your last time.

Ask her!

Jess, we've been locked in.

How exciting!

Can... can you help us get out?

I would love to, but I've got a big game coming up.

So... So do we.

The final?

I know.

Good luck, guys. I really mean it.

She has.

She's locked us in.

OK, so let's do the replay.

VIDEOTAPE REWINDS

We all wanted to win the tournament.

It was Jessica!

But nobody believed me about Jessica's dirty tricks.

Whatever your problem with Jess is, you need to get over it.

Rude!

But I handled it with grace and decorum.

Then Zara thought I went too far, and kicked me out.

WE'RE a team and WE'RE mates.

But that's when the world's greatest detective - me -

proved once and for all that Jessica was the bad guy.

FART-LIKE SOUND

But is it too late?

Jessica's locked us in.

Can anyone save us?

That, sadly, depends on Conor.

PHONE RINGS

Conor, we need you to come and save us.

Sorry, this isn't the best time.

We're locked in the food tech classroom,

and we need you to come and save us.

Your sister is locked in a classroom.

LAUGHTER

Good.

What are you going to do about it?

Well, I can't just leave her there, can I?

Just sell sandwiches. I'll be back.

I'll never be able to afford that game now.

It's all your fault.

Aoife dropped the flyer, not me.

I warned you about this.

And she's still your sister.

There's still time before he comes back.

You have to wait until I'm ready. No, I don't.

Er, that was an accident.

You can't...

Urgh!

How long now? 311 seconds.

That is so not helpful.

I'm sorry, I've let you down again.

Let's ram the door.

That sounds painful, but OK.

THEY ALL SCREAM

ALL: Oh!

Right, no-one's going anywhere until I get a full and frank explanation.

THEY ALL SCREAM

THEY ALL GROAN

Come on, we're nearly there.

I'm red.

With brown.

I look terrible.

But I taste delicious!

Zara, come on, let's go.

I don't deserve to play.

Of course you do. We need you. Come on.

I was horrible to you.

She was.

I'm a terrible Viper.

You are the Viper, Zara.

If you didn't see the best in us, I would never have joined.

But I kicked you out.

Gave your bottle to Jess.

So what?

That never stopped us from being a team.

Or mates.

Well, maybe for a second, but, shh!

No, come on!

You know, I never stopped being your friend either.

Maybe we could combine our money, share the game.

I'd like that. Hug? No.

OK, Vipers, this is it.

We may look bad, but we're good.

They're the opposite.

It's the good guys versus the bad guys.

Heroes versus the villains.

We've all seen the films, and we all know who wins.

So let's go out there and do this.

Vipers on three.

One, two, three... ALL: Vipers!

END BUZZER SOUNDS

Yes!

So it turns out I've been lied to by every film ever made.

Shower first or straight to shop? I've already showered this week.

Boys!

There's an awful mess to clean up inside.

But I know you'd only make things worse, so I've hired a cleaner.

Result! That you're going to pay for.

They were really good.

We're just the wrong kind of good.

Don't say that. Yeah, we don't want to be like them.

And you never will be, but that's OK.

That's just who the Vipers are.

You have no idea who we are. You never did.

But you will, when we beat you.

Yeah! Get Zara!

So proud of her right now.

And it's gone.

You all look ridiculous.

SLOW-MOTION SCREAM

LAUGHTER

Look at you. Guess we're not so different after all.

? Do-do-doo, do-do-do-doo

? Do-do-doo, do-do-do-doo. ?

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