Original subtitles

And now, back to VH1, Salute to Singers from the 90s. Today's installment, Why

They All Needed to Turn Every Vowel into the Letter A.

It used to be that you loved me.

But now it's 1990, and I have to say,

are you afraid?

The letter A.

Thank you!

Oh, no!

Not again!

We're about to do Jedi, aren't we?

Let's just get through this.

Inform the commander that Lord Vader's shuttle has arrived.

And also, we're missing a bunch of snow shovels from the storeroom. Does anyone

know anything about that?

Uh, snow shovels? No. No, haven't seen any snow shovels. I haven't heard about

it. No. No idea.

Oh, Michael, that was absolute hell. I just... I don't understand why... I

we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change an Atlanta.

Hi, Dart.

You got any bags, or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?

Well, it's you.

Are we already out of our own characters?

What? How's the construction going?

Oh, fantabulously. Remember how last time they skimmed along a trench and

blew it up by shooting through a hole?

Yeah. Well, now there's no trench.

Great. Is there a hole?

Yes. What?

There is.

But if I were you, I'd repair that hole before the Emperor arrives.

The Emperor?

It's coming here?

Yeah, he loves this place. I was there when he came up with the idea for the

Death Star.

Hey, hey, Darth. Darth. Yeah, what?

That. That's what.

What? It's a circle.

It's a good circle, I'll give you that. No, no, no.

Space Station.

What? Yep.

What? Yep, it is. No way.

It is. It is, big time.

Beep, boop, beep.

You sure this is where we'll find Captain Solo?

Yep, this is it. Corner of Tatooine Way and Martin Luther King Boulevard. Hi,

R2. You want to come play?

Sure. Here I am on Tatooine.

Jumping double dutch like you never seen.

I know my way around the rope. Help me, Obi -Wan. You're my only hope.

Liz? Hi, we have a message for Jabba the... No, Mr.

Jabba, no.

Oh, well, can we leave it with someone? No, no.

Hey, look, Jabba's cat escaped.

I sure hope he doesn't blame the help.

Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Oh, my God.

Alec Baldwin?

Oh, shoot up, Peacho.

Wow, there are all kind of manner of crazy monsters in here.

Yeah, and they added even more for the special edition.

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

R2,

play him the message.

Greetings, exalted one.

It's me, Luke Skywalker.

I seek an audience with your slimness to bargain for Captain Solo's life. As a

token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift. These two droids. Wait a minute,

does he have the right to give us away?

He just stole us from his dead uncle.

tongue stuck to our ass.

Sorry. Sorry.

Been building up for a while.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry about this.

Sorry. There we are.

I can't see!

Yes, relax.

You have hibernation sickness, but your eyesight will return in time.

Where am I?

Jabba's palace.

Who are you?

Someone who loves you.

Whoa, you are smothering me, and I need my space.

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Wait a minute, who's that?

I know that laugh.

It's the 7 -Up guy.

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

It's not the 7 -Up guy.

Yeah, it is. Hey, say, crisp and clean, no caffeine.

Han, what are you doing here?

Chewie, is that you?

Yeah, it's me. I got caught eating out of Jabba's trash.

Well, I guess the good news is we're not being pushed into a giant anus in the

desert. What's wrong with your eyes?

I'm blind.

It's part of the hibernation sickness.

That and these lesions and the fatigue that I've been feeling and the

cough.

You might, uh... You might have two things.

How did he get in?

I let him in. Whoa, whoa, was that not cool?

Nice to see you, Jabba.

Um,

Leo, wow.

I didn't get raped, okay?

Okay. Okay?

Okay.

I'm here to bargain for Han Solo and the rest of my friends.

What's your price?

Master Luke, be careful. You're standing on - 3PO, please. Whatever you have to

say cannot possibly be as important as this conversation.

But you're standing on a trapdoor, and if Jabba pushes the button - 3PO, what

did I just say?

But there's a trapdoor right under your feet. There's a huge monster down there,

and if Jabba hits the button, the trapdoor's gonna open. You're gonna fall

into the dungeon below and get eaten by the monster! 3PO, please!

We're talking!

Oh, my God.

Rush Limbaugh.

Limbaugh rule number one. No tax -dodging Jedi's in my pit.

Religion is tax -exempt. Jedi's are religion.

Did you want me to throw you your lightsaber?

Yeah, about ten minutes ago.

Just so you know, the compartment I keep your lightsaber in is my rectum.

The mighty Jabba has decreed that you are to be thrown into the Sarlacc pit.

There you will discover a new meaning of pain and suffering as you are slowly

digested over a thousand years.

No sweat. I'm bringing a box of Allbrand. I'll be sprayed all over the

a week. Right?

Big lips on a stick knows what I'm talking about.

Ha! Fiber!

Still alive.

What's going on?

We just got to the Sarlacc pit.

What's that?

It's this disgusting, horrible creature that's worse than anything you could

ever imagine.

Victims of the Almighty Sarlacc, His Excellency hopes that you will die

honorably. But should any of you wish to beg for mercy, the great Jabba the Hutt

will now listen to your pleas.

Oh, please don't kill us. We won't do it again.

Honest. We'll be good, mister. We was just fooling around, is all.

Jabba, this is your last chance.

Free us or die.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha. Have a good day.

We're waiting.

Look out! Boba Fett is right behind you! All right, when I give the signal, we

get him.

What? What happened? He fell.

Huh? He fell. He fell in the pit.

Oh. Good.

Yeah.

Wait a minute. What are you doing? I thought you were blind.

I am.

It's okay, though.

Just hang on.

Gotcha!

You want some laser hair removal while I'm at it? No, thanks.

You sure?

Come on, we gotta get out of here.

Okay, so I'm going to the Dagobah system.

You gotta speak up. I'm going to the Dagobah system.

I still can't hear you. I said I'm going to... Ah, it's a machine. I gotcha.

You've reached Han Solo.

Please leave a message after the blop.

Have we got any of those chips Ahoy left?

No, those are all gone.

Oh.

Now nobody gets them.

Emperor, great to see you.

Hey, this is Jeremy. He's from, you know, he's from the program, and he

meet you.

Well, hey, Jeremy.

How do you like the Death Star so far?

Good. Awesome. You've got to come back next year when it's done.

Oh, okay.

We're going to move on now. If you ever do that to me again, I swear to God. I

know, I know. Nobody told me. They kind of just dropped him on me at the last

minute. I couldn't say no, man.

So I think you'll be happy. The Death Star's going to be completed on

Excellent. There is one thing, though, and I'm sorry about this, but your

not ready till four.

So, um, feel free to use our business center or enjoy the pool.

Stop it.

Knock it off.

Cut it off. Stop it!

I deserve to relax, too.

Master Yoda, I've come back to complete the training.

Oh, you're done. There's no more training.

Then I am a Jedi.

No, not yet. First, you have to confront Vader.

Master Yoda, is Darth Vader my father?

Uh, yeah. It's either Darth Vader or Paul Reiser, but they don't want to know

which one is your real father, so they're going to raise you together.

Oh, my God!

Yeah, and I got some more bad news.

I'm getting really old, and I'm not feeling so hot, and I think I might die

soon.

Luke. Yeah?

Do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor.

Luke. Uh -huh? When gone am I, the last of the Jedi will you be.

Luke. Right here. The Force runs strong in your family.

Luke.

Haven't gone anywhere.

Don't turn to the dark side.

Luke. What's up?

You fought Vader too soon.

Look. Four inches away.

There is another Skywalker.

Okay, see ya.

Master Yoda, no!

Hi, hammocker slimmer. I'd like the wall -sized crossword puzzle.

Why, yes, I do have a credit card. Name is Yoda... Parthigian?

I can't believe Master Yoda's dead.

Yoda will always be with you, Luke.

Ghost!

Obi -Wan, why didn't you tell me Vader was my father?

Why didn't you tell me you got a new hand?

Let's take that thing out for a test drive.

But if Vader's my father, does that mean I'm vulnerable to the dark side?

Seriously, put your hand like you're gonna pull a carrot out of the ground.

Obi -Wan, Yoda said there's another Skywalker.

There is, Luke.

You have a sister.

A sister?

Who is it? Who the hell you think it is? Who's the only goddamn woman in the

galaxy?

Leia. Hey.

Just for giggles. You want to poop in Yoda's tiny toilet?

Pretend you took a giant poop?

Me

first.

I'd like to thank you all for meeting me here in the lobby of the Mondrian.

Hey, check it out. It's another chick. The only other chick in the galaxy.

I don't like her.

The Emperor has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come.

We've learned that the new Death Star is not yet operational.

But, more importantly, that the Emperor himself is overseeing this mission.

Hey, you know what I find hilarious?

Bothans. Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

Ooh.

Admiral Ackbar, if you will.

It's a trap!

Just kidding. We'll get there later.

So, um, let's pretty much just attack like we did last time. Sound good? No

to fix what ain't broke, right?

Yeah, we did this already.

That's what's so fucked up.

General Solo will take a stolen Imperial shuttle and knock out the shield

generator on the first moon of Endor, while General Carvisian has volunteered

lead the squadron to destroy the Death Star.

I didn't actually volunteer.

Everybody clear?

Am I the only one with a gold star on their uniform?

It's just for record keeping. Okay, let's go for it, people.

Hey, is there anything I can do to help?

Luke!

What is it?

Ask me again sometime.

What? I know something about you.

Tell me.

No. Come on, Luke, tell me.

Nope. Well, for God's sakes, tell me something about somebody.

Okay. Han runs an online employment website on the side.

Economy got you down? Stressed out? Worried about your future?

Sounds like you need a Han job.

I'm Han Solo, and I have jobs for everyone.

Come by and apply for your Han job, and I'll get you off and running.

Other websites jerky around and don't finish what they start.

But with HanJobs .org, we'll have you shooting for the stars.

But keep it down. My neighbors don't know what's going on in here.

All right, now remember, Lando, don't get a single scratch on the Falcon,

Look, will you relax?

I already said I'll be careful.

Well, just make sure you are. That ship's gotten me laid a bunch of times.

Hey, hey, hey, girls.

Anyone want to make the Kessel Run?

That'd be cool, but we only got 12 parsecs.

Hop in.

3PO, why are you wearing a coat and tie?

Uh, some people still treat flying as an occasion.

What's the matter?

Ah, nothing.

I just got a funny feeling I'm never gonna see her again.

Who, the Falcon?

No, Elizabeth Hurley. I just... I just think she's done.

Hey, it's me. Can I come in?

Oh, shit.

Hey, I just wanted to let you... Oh, boy, what's that?

I was just ironing my robe, taking a look around. What's up?

Well, I just wanted to let you know there's a rebel fleet massing at

and I think they're going to invade or something.

You made sure there wasn't a hole in the Death Star this time. Oh, yeah, like

I'm going to do that twice.

You shut up, mister.

Gosh almighty.

But, you know, it might be something to be concerned about.

It's of no concern.

The Rebellion will soon be crushed, and young Skywalker will be one of us.

We're still doing that initiation thing we talked about, right? Oh, yeah.

Where you rub your wang on a fruit salad and we watch him eat it? You bet. You

ate the whole thing, remember?

Oh, yeah, and I ate most of it.

All right, this is it.

Shuttle Tiderium requesting deactivation of the deflector shield.

Shuttle Tiderium, transmit the clearance code for shield passage.

Transmission commencing.

Now we find out if that code is worth the price we paid.

Vader's on that ship.

Don't get jittery, Luke. There's a lot of command ships.

Keep your distance, though, Chewie. But don't look like you're trying to keep

your distance. How am I supposed to do that? I don't know. Fly casual.

Does that casual -looking shuttle have a code clearance?

Well, it's an older code, sir.

But it checks out.

Wait a minute.

Skywalker's on that ship.

You can sense him?

No, he's right there.

They're not going for it, Chewie. Everybody, they're not going for it.

failing. Luke, take this gun. You shoot me, I'll shoot you. Shuttle Tiderium,

the shield has been deactivated. You are clear to approach.

Well, there you go, gang. False alarm.

Oh, what, what, what, false alarm?

All right, somebody, anybody, do not let me leave here without maple syrup.

How are we going to get past?

All right, there's only a few of them. Chewie and I will take care of those

guys. You stay here.

Oh, ladybug.

I see them. Wait, Leia!

My bike!

Where's my bike?

Move closer! Get alongside that one!

Can you play the theme for me, T. John Williams?

No, but I can do the theme to Entertainment Tonight.

Celebrating birthdays today, IG -88 turns 27.

Lando Calrissian is 42.

And I Don't Like You Either Guy is 63.

Keep on that one. I'll take these two.

Destroy the planet Alderaan.

You know, I think I've finally done it.

I think I've gotten over the loss of my home planet Alderaan. I've finally moved

on.

General Solo, somebody's coming.

Luke, there you are. Where's Leia? Have you seen her? She didn't come back?

Oh, well, she probably decided to make like one of these trees and leave.

Where did you get that?

I don't know. I stepped on it earlier. It was just here in the woods. Been

having a lot of fun with it. Oh, that's funny, because my friend lost his horn

on the forest moon of Endor last year. It's not his.

Do not move, or I will stab you with my very sharp spear.

Look, put that down. I'm not going to hurt you. You are my enemy, and I want

off my planet.

Want a piece of cracker? I will do anything you say.

By the way, I think you're about to start your period.

That's how I found you.

Hi, me again. Hey, good news. The Death Star T -shirt's finally arrived.

Oh, sweet.

Oh, come on.

Death stab?

For God's sake, Christy. Why don't you fire that girl? She's actually, believe

it or not, better than the last one.

I thought I told you to wait on the command ship.

Yes, well, the thing is, a small rebel force has landed on the forest moon, and

my son is with them. Kurt? No, Luke.

I thought Kurt was your son.

No, no, no, no. Kurt was just a guy I was hanging around with for a while.

wasn't my son.

What do you mean?

I mean, he was younger, but he wasn't that much younger.

No, I mean, what do you mean hanging around with?

Oh, I mean, just a dude, you know? Just some guy to, like, play ball with and go

to the movies, crash into real hard in the hallway. You know, just guy stuff,

you know? Just a bro, you know? Someone you can read the Sunday paper or share

an orange with.

Honestly, Darth, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. I don't know

what you want me to... Look, just go down to the moon and wait for your son.

I have foreseen that his compassion for you will be his undoing. Got it. On my

way. No more of this Kurt shit.

Yep.

Leia!

Leia!

Han, come over here.

I found this.

Ah, shuck.

Hey, maybe we get out of the woods before nightfall on account of the

all. Hey, guys, look over there.

It's a hot girl from Florida.

No, no, Chewie, don't. If you talk to her, you have to talk to her mom. Oh, I

see you've met my daughter.

You know, we were just mistaken for sisters over at the bar.

Chewie, get away from... How are we going to get out of here?

Wait a second, guys. I got an idea.

Remember that laser I used to break Leia out of Jabba's handcuffs? Well, here

comes a little tiny saw.

Whoa.

What the hell are these, hamsters?

Oh, my God, they're adorable.

Gold guy.

Gold guy.

Gold...

What are they doing?

I'm not sure.

They seem to think I'm some sort of god.

And they seem to think I'm Sum 41.

All the small things.

That's Blink -182.

Sum 41 is the band that married Avril Lavigne.

Oh. Huh.

Seems like everybody would turn out a loser in that situation.

Everybody did.

Pripyo, tell them to let us go.

What the hell am I supposed to say?

Tell them if they don't let us go, you'll become angry and use your magic.

Yeah, I'll get right on that.

It's not working.

Is this your card?

Who braided your hair?

Did the Ewoks braid your hair?

Uh, yeah.

So, they use spears with wooden shafts and stone -carved tips, yet they clearly

understand the finer points of cosmetology?

I know. It's not as good as empire.

Utanisa Wuchana, born and raised.

Makwatas near Chutu most of my days.

Luke,

are you okay?

Yeah. I've got something kind of messed up to tell you.

You're my sister.

I know.

Somehow I've always known.

You have?

Did you know when you kissed me on Hoth?

Yeah. Well, that's pretty weird. I'm from Alderaan. It's kind of the

of the galaxy.

Speaking of which, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Darth Twitty.

put his arms around her shoulder and with a voice that sounded older, he

Mom, I got something on my mind.

Imperial Shuttle requesting permission to land like a dainty butterfly.

Permission granted.

Night. That was night.

Hey, son.

Hey, Dad.

Haven't seen you in a while.

Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. But, uh, I got you a new baseball.

Good. Our first catch of the day. Hey, go wait in the ad ad.

Now, listen, since your mom's out of town and I have you for the weekend, I

thought it would be fun if the emperor and I turned you over to the dark side

the force.

Daddy, if I may, I'd like to draw out another option.

I sense the good in you.

Hang out with me on the lighter side of the force.

Oh, that's something.

All right, so what do you say? You want to go see the emperor? I don't know.

Can we have tacos?

Oh, no. Friday is taco night.

Oh, darn.

But today is Friday.

Yep.

I'm going to have so much fun.

All right, stand by to jump to light speed.

When we arrive at Endor, we will destroy the Death Star and then begin setting

up the Ewok reassignment camps.

I hate that stupid fish man.

I say when we're done with this, we go over there and fry him up in a skillet.

All right, here goes nothing. I'm gonna sneak up on that guy.

Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you got me.

Oh, hey, wait. You got something there.

Oh, my God. I can't believe I fell for that.

I know. Now, excuse me. I have to make out with my girlfriend.

Oh, sorry.

I'll leave you two alone.

No, it's just me by myself.

Oh, my God. That's so cool.

Hey, take your helmet off. I'll do got your nose.

We're not supposed to take these off, but I really want to see that.

What the hell? Your head is so small.

Yeah, that's why we wear these big helmets. It's a lot more intimidating.

I'll be honest with you. I don't like people who are different.

Hey, hey, look who I brought.

Welcome, young Skywalker.

Oh, thank you. Not you.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I thought you should know, young Skywalker, that your friends are walking

trap. Wow, you're white?

You totally sounded black on the phone.

Silence! You will turn to the dark side, and your precious rebellion will be

destroyed.

Oh, I'm afraid.

The shield generator will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.

All right, everybody, hands in the air.

All right, now I want you to take off your helmets, go outside, and dig your

graves with them.

Han, that's kind of dark.

Shut up. There's enough cutesy crap in this movie. I think we all need this.

get outside.

I have a family.

Faster.

I just do data entry.

All right, you, kill him.

What? Kill him. Take this knife and stab him in the mouth. No, please.

Shut up. And after he's dead, cut off his face and wear it as your face.

Please. I've had enough to hear what he walks. Now stab him and wear his face.

And then go home to his family still wearing his face and see how long it

him to figure out that it's you and not him. Hold it right there.

You rebel scum.

Wow, what a voice.

Do you mind reading this for me?

Paging Mr.

Herman, Mr. Pee -wee Herman.

I found my bike!

What

do

you mean we can't get any reading on the shield?

Man, the only thing I'm reading is a cat in a hat.

Damn cat, that hat looks ridiculous.

Admiral, we've got enemy ships in Sector 47.

It's a trap! It's a trap!

Also, who's cat?

Someone get your cat.

Fighters coming in!

Land out to Enterprise.

Draw their fire away from the cruisers.

We're having tea, thank you very much. Yes, tea.

Listen, you guys, this is all a crazy misunderstanding.

You think this is going to work?

Oh yeah, those Ewoks had all of five minutes to get things prepared. I'm sure

it's all gonna work out fine.

This armor is useless!

Why do I even wear it?

Here comes a squadron of pie -fighting!

Look at that, huh?

Look at the crappy job your friends are doing.

And here's something that's going to piss you off even more.

Fire at will.

Gee, Dr. Smith, this doesn't seem like a very safe place to be.

Oh, William.

Okay,

now fire at everybody else.

Holy shit, that blast came from the Death Star.

That thing's operational.

What's that mean?

It's fully functional.

I still don't get it. I'm five.

Bang, bang, boom, boom.

Bang, bang, boom, boom. Damn, that thing's operational.

Ooh, look at that. Blowing up rebel ships.

Let that get you going.

You hate me now?

Come on, take that lightsaber and try to strike me down, and your journey toward

the dark side will be complete.

I've seen a lot of ships get blown up. It's no big deal.

Yeah, I guess that wouldn't get under my skin either.

Not the way Seth Green gets under my skin.

Huh? Yeah, boy, that guy rubs me the wrong way. I mean, has he ever made

anything successful? Greg the Bunny, Four Kings, and that god -awful puppet

show. It's on, like, Channel 100 or something.

Well, I think he's had some successes. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was popular.

It was not popular. Entertainment Weekly said it was popular, but it wasn't.

Hardly anybody ever watched that show. Yeah, I never called it. Well, he's been

in some big movies. The Austin Powers movies grossed like a billion dollars.

What, because of Seth Green?

Did you ever hear anyone say, hey, let's go see that new Austin Powers, Seth

Green's in it? You're not getting to me, man. You're talking about an actor who

I happen to enjoy.

Well, I certainly enjoyed him in Entourage, because in that show he was

himself. An asshole!

Oh, sorry. This is my joke lightsaber.

It's cute, right? Okay, for real now.

They're doing the mess around.

They're doing the mess around.

Everybody's doing the mess around.

Join us, Luke.

Turn to the back side of the fourth.

What? The dark side. Turn to the... Long day.

I will not fight you, father. Then you will meet your destiny.

Oh, my God, are you okay?

Oh, my God, I just... I meant to hit you in the shoulder, and that whole thing

just fell. Did you see that?

What? That whole thing just fell. How?

I don't know. He was up there like, I can't do this, I threw the thing, and I

just meant to hit him in the arm, and then the whole thing fell.

Well, that's good, right? We want him hurt. Are you using your brain?

We're lucky if we come out of this without a lawsuit.

Ow!

Ow!

Freeze.

Okay, now you're in a laundromat, and there's only one available machine, and

you're fighting over it. Go!

Oh, God, it looks... Looks like all these machines are taken.

Oh, drat. And me with all my soiled underthings.

If anyone asks, I shot him. Got that? You were crying in the corner.

Holy crap. Stay back.

Hey, bitches. I just killed like 50 stormtroopers. Wow, that thing is really

cool. Damn right it is. See that squirrel over there? Hi, little

Ka -chow!

Hey, why don't you blast open this door, and then we can... Hey, a butterfly.

Oh, look at those beautiful wings flapping. But, uh -oh, here comes

Hey, speedy little hummingbird. You're so fast, aren't you? Oh, but are you as

fast as this?

Cussgingo!

Whoa, what do we have here?

A fully formed beehive. Must have taken months to build that guy. Well, guess

what? Skadoos!

Should we help him?

I think... I think... I think...

Give yourself to the dark side, Luke. I will not fight you.

Well, all right. I guess that's no problem.

I can always get Seth Green to fight me. He'll do anything for money. I mean,

did you see Sex Drive? Oh, of course you didn't. You're a person.

Of course, I guess it did respectable foreign numbers.

Asians really liked it.

And you've got to hand it to Seth Green. I mean, he works hard, you know. I

mean, the work is much harder when you know the project is no good.

Still, all those small paychecks must add up.

I wonder if his fan base knows how Jewish he really is.

Hey, uh...

You got a good hand guy, right?

Good. Good.

Your hate has made you powerful.

Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side.

Can we at least put together a press release that says I'm resigning of my

accord to pursue other evil projects?

I'll never join the dark side.

You failed, your highness. I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

All right, let's everybody just calm the fuck down.

Move! Run!

The shield is down. Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor.

The shield may be down, but they've gone into glitter ball mode.

If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.

Oh, yeah?

You in what lightning hand?

Oh, now you've done it.

Yeah,

I'm a bad guy.

Yeah, yeah. How about that? Oh, yeah. That's what I can do. Oh, yeah. Out the

butthole.

Father, please.

Please. You know what? You have nice manners.

I'm so delighted that Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen took the time to teach you

manners. And just for that, I'm going to help you out here.

That's the power of please, kids.

Look, help me get this mask off.

Let me look on you with my own eyes.

Father to son.

Ah! Oh, no!

He's dead because of what the Emperor did a while ago.

I better take his body.

Disguise. Okay, Wedge, take out the power station.

Thank you.

Hey, Leia, you got a date for the We Just Killed Thousands of People dance

tonight? No.

You do now. Pick you up at 7 and save Yub Nub for me.

Come to think of it, you can shave your Yub Nub for me, too.

I'll see you at 7.

Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.

Fuck you. You murdered me, you ass.

The end.

And that's the final chapter in the Star Wars saga.

What about the prequels? I think the Cleveland show is going to do those.

Dad, one question. What do you got against Seth Green?

I just think he's a douche. You got a problem with that?

Well, we're all entitled to our own opinion. For example, me, I think Seth

MacFarlane's a douche. What's that now? Yeah, I don't like him either.

Yeah, me neither.

Wait a second. He was a pretty nice guy. Yeah, good looking guy.

Talented, young.

Talented? He ripped off The Simpsons. Yeah, he watched TV in the 80s. We get

And he only puts out like 10 new episodes a year. And then he splits

into five DVD sets.

He doesn't make those decisions, Chris. Those decisions are made at the

corporate level.

But he still takes the money every week. How noble.

And doesn't he have a whole staff that writes those episodes anyway?

Well, I wouldn't know about that, but I think, and I hope, Chris, that

ultimately people will just remember the laughter.