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South Park 907 512x384 Xvid 140MB
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Erection Day
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Subtitles by Tzar
http://titulkykserialum.net
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N'kay, kids, as your counselor,
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I know it can sometimes be difficult to talk
about subjects like drugs and sex and alcohol, m'kay?
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So, as you remember, last week I told
you to write down any
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difficult questions you had
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and put them in this box anonymously so
we could discuss in class, m'kay?
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I got a lot o' responses,
so let's read some aloud.
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"Mr. Mackey is gay."
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Okay kids, that is not funny! Unkay?!
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This box is supposed to
be used for serious questions!
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About, about serious issues! M'kay,
let's let's stop the tomfoolery!
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M'kay, this looks like a real one here.
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"Dear Mr. Mackey,
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you are gay."
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All right, all right. That's enough, kids.
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Let's quiet down and try to be mature, 'kay?
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Uh here we go. Okay,
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"Mr. Mackey, sometimes my parents hit me,
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and you are gay."
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Damnit, is there not one serious
question in here?!
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"Mr. Mackey is gay, Mr. Mackey is gay"
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Okay, here.
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I am a boy at South Park Elementary.
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Sometimes, when I'm sitting in class,
my penis becomes hard for no reason.
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What should I do?
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All right kids, all right kids,
that's enough!
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If you all can't be serious
about the question box,
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then we'll just do drug
identification exercises, unkay?!
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M'kay, uhh, Jimmy, why don't you come up here
and write down the names of two narcotics?
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Uh no, that that's okay, Mr. Mackey.
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Jimmy, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!
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Uhhh, just uh uh ahh not right this second, Mr. Mackey.
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Well why the hell not?!
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He's what...
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Oh, you do?
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R r right now, right now it is?
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on'kay, on'kay. Don't worry, Jimmy.
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N'kay, uhhh, let's pick someone else.
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Eric, why don't you come up here?
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Hey, that's bullcrap?!
How come Jimmy doesn't have to do it?!
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Well, because uh, Jimmy is pitching a tent right now.
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He's what??
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TALENT SHOW THIS FRIDAY
Garand prize 100$
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A hundred dollar gift certificate to South Park Mall?
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Maybe we should do the talent show.
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Well, what's the point? Jimmy always
wins with his stand-up comedy.
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Hey fellas.
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Dude, didja see, Jimmy? They're giving away
a hundred dollar first prize for the talent show.
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Oh I sure have. I've been working
on my ruh... ruh,,, routine all year long
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I don't know how you do it, dude.
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How do you get up in front of that many people?
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Well fellas, entertainment is my life.
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I love being in front of everyone.
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What's the matter?
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I gotta guh, I gotta go! See ya fellas.
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Excuse me!
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It's occupied.
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No room at the inn, Virgin Mary.
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Hehey Jimmy!
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M'boy, did you see that first
prize for the talent show?
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Why you must be excited!
You'll probably win like always.
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Yeah. Yeah, I'm real excited.
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REAL escited...
for some reason...
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Oh, Jesus! What's wrong with me?
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Hey, who's droppin' bombs in there?!
How about a courtesy flush?!
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Up yours, Butters.
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Hey Jimmy, how was school?
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Fine, Mom.
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Jimmy, we understand you're getting
erections in the classroom.
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What? Uh who told you that?
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Mr. Mackey, your counselor.
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Aw J-j-j-j...j-Jesus!
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Now, Jimmy, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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But we know it's something you might have
a hard time talking about.
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Get it? A hard time.
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So, we took your counselor'sadvice 'nd called
Doctor Pal to help us all talk about this.
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Dz-n-Doctor Pal?
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Hey Jimmy, I'm Doctor Pal.
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That's because I'm a doctor,
but I'm also your pal. Are we cool?
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Uh, sure?
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A lot of times parents call me in because
I can relate to younger kids.
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I'm I'm down, I'm dope, you dig?
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Now, I understand you have some
concerns about erections.
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Oops, can't say erection in front of the parents right.
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Oh God, I feel so weird" huh?
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Well, a little, yes.
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Jimmy, there's nothing weird about random erections.
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Almost every boy goes through a phase where
his penisbecomes hard... for no particular reason.
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It's just part of grwoing up.
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Growing up?
Growing out is more like it.
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But I have to make it stop!
The talent show is this F-Friday.
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Tell you what, Mom and Dad, why don't you skidaddle
for a tick and let us hipsters talk in privo.
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A-all right, come on, honey.
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Jimmy, as you get older your body
goes through a lot of changes.
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Certain hormones start to release as your
whole reproductive system begins to awaken,
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and so, if you like, we can
take off our shirts and kiss.
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Ke...c-come again?
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Oh, hey, nothin', you see?
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See, that set you off on a different tangent, got you
thinkin' a different way. That's what Doctor Pal is here to do.
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Unless, of course, you think we should
take off our shirts and kiss.
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N-no, I do NOT want to take
off my shirt and kiss.
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Well then to hell with you, kid.
You can just deal with your problems on your own.
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Next up for the talent show:
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put your hands together for the incredibly
talented Jimmy Valmer!
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Wow, what a what a great audience.
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So apparently Martha Stewart is out of jail.
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Have you have you heard about this, have you seen this?
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She's very excited to get started on her new show,
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"Martha Stewart Living,
with an electronic ankle bracelet."
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So it looks like the Vatican has finally chosen a new Pope.
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Have you seen this, have you heard about this?
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A-a-apparently they're going to call him New Pope,
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a-and refer to John Paul as P-Pope Classic.
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Uh,.. so it so it looks like Michael Jackson
is having back problem in court.
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You know... huh... you uh you know what
they say about b-b-b-b-back problems.
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Uh, uh gee, what a terrific audience.
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What a fantastic audience.
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Don't worry, Jimmy.
We're not laughing with you,
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we're laughing AT you.
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Lu Lu Lu, I've got some apples,
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Lu Lu Lu, you've got some too.
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Lu Lu Lu, let's get together,
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- I know what we can do, Lu Lu.
- Butters!
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Oh! Oh hey, Jimmy.
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I'm just practicin' for the talent show.
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Butters, ah I really need to talk to somebody,
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and I think maybe you're the only
person who won't make f-f-fun of me.
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Oh Gosh, I'd never make fun of
somebody with a problem.
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Butters, do you know what you're supposed
to do when your penis gets hard?
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Well sure I do.
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Really??
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Yes, now sit down, Jimmy,
we should have a little talk.
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You see, Jimmy, when a man's penis becomes hard,
the man puts it into a lady. Into her "vagiiina."
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Then, the hard penis sneezes
milk inside the lady's tummy,
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and after it's all done sneezin' milk.
The penis stops bein' hard,
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and the man loses interest in the lady.
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So, when your penis becomes hard,
you're supposed to put in in a lady's vagina.
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And then it stops being hard?
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That's right, Jimmy.
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But where am I going to find a lady to stick my penis in?
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The talent show is this Friday.
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Talk to you, Bertha.
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Okay, see you later, Jessie.
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Hey Bertha.
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00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,858
Oh, hey Jimmy.
What's goin' on?
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Well Bertha, I was wondering if I could
stick my penis in your vagina?
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What?? No way!
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But the talent show is tomorrow!
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Jerk!
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Jimmy, Jimmy, what the hell are you doing, man?
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I'm trying to get laid. What's it look like?
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Dude, you don't just go up to a girl
and ask her if you can stick your penis in her vagina.
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Ye-you have to ask her on a date, take
her out for some Italian food.
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Wow, seems like you know a lot
about this stuff, Eric.
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Have you gotten laid before?
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Sure, lots of times.
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I've been laid, like, five thousand times.
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Well, wha-what do I do?
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I told you: a date and then Italian food.
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And then you gotta make her
thnk you're a good listener.
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Eric, I can't tell you why, but it's very
important that I score to-night!
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Can you come on the date and help me?
You're like a white... Hitch.
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Why sure, they do this all
the time in movies and TV shows.
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You go on the date and wear an earpiece,
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and I'll be nearby, secretly telling
you all the right things to say.
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Wow! Thanks, Eric.
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Shawna honey, I think your little date is here.
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Okay, Mom.
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Hey Shawna.
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Hi Jimmy.
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00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,543
Okay Jimmy.
First off, tell her how good she looks.
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00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,461
Wow, Shawna, you look fantastic.
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00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,463
Thanks, Jimmy. Where are we going?
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00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:09,925
We're going to an authentic Italian restaurant,
Buca de Fagghecini.
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00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:17,558
Welcome to Buca de Fagghecini for
the authentico experience Italiano.
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00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,059
My name is Roma.
179
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:21,812
Can I start you out with some lotsa
pasta macaroni minis?
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00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,857
Uh, I think we're gonna try your authentic
pizzareli casserona poppers.
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Right away.
182
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,027
You know that girl Sally Rauman at our school?
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00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,529
I can't stand her.
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00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,613
Jimmy! Jimmy!
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00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:34,752
Jimmy, even though what she's saying now
isn't interesting at all, you say:
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00:09:34,752 --> 00:09:37,411
"Wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more."
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00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,205
Wow, that is very interesting. Please tell me more.
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00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,206
Really?
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00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,276
Well, Kelligan bought the same purse
and I was like, "No WAY do I want it now!"
190
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,628
because who wants a purse that both their
best friends have, right? And so-
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00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,213
All right, when she stops yappin' again,
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00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,175
say: "Wow, I've never thought
of it that way before, but you're right."
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00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,927
-I guess that's why I figured,
"Who needs friends like that?"
194
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,471
Wow, I've never thought of it
that way before, but you're right.
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00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,681
It's like I told Debbie:
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00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,016
"If you're gonna go out with my friends-"
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00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,851
All right Jimmy,
when she finally shuts her trap again,
198
00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:02,519
I want you to repeat whatever she said,
199
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:05,147
and then follow it with: "Wow, how insightful."
200
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,900
"And so if you're gonna be that way,
I don't need to be your friend."
201
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:11,403
"if you're gonna be that way, I don't need
to be your friend." Wow, how insightful.
202
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,114
You know, Jimmy, you are a great listener.
203
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:14,907
Really?
204
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,619
Yeah. I mean, no other boys really
communicate like you do.
205
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,120
Oh, I'm so glad you think so, Shawna,
206
00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:22,372
because I really wanna stick
my penis in your vagina.
207
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:23,999
Yes, nice, Jimmy, very nice.
208
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,919
...What??? I'm not doing that!
209
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,129
But the talent show is tomorrow night!
210
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:29,821
Creep!
211
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:42,684
Welcome students and parents to
the annual South Park Elementary Talent Show!
212
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,648
We have a lot of little talneted performers to get through,
213
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,609
so the quicker you shut up,
the quicker this will be over!
214
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:56,240
Okay, first up we have Billy Turner,
from the third grade,
215
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,117
who will be doing an alto sax solo.
216
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,850
Jimmy? Jimmy Valmer?
217
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,603
Oh... Hi, Officer B-b-barbrady.
218
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:30,065
Jimmy, what are you doing here?
The talent show is inside.
219
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,359
I'm... not gonna perform in the talent show.
220
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,112
Not perform?
221
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:39,032
But Jimmy, you love talent shows.
Everyone in town knows that.
222
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,827
I just c-can't risk getting up
in front of everyone.
223
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:43,495
Why?
224
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,331
All right! I I keep getting
an erection for no reason! Okay!
225
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,209
But I can't get any of the girls
here to let me... do it to them.
226
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:52,588
Well of course not, Jimmy.
Little girls don't wanna have sex.
227
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,756
Then why does God make it so
that my penis gets hard
228
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,301
...if girls don't wanna
have it in their vaginas?
229
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,886
It's like a cruel joke.
230
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:05,225
Well, Jimmy, the girls here are young and pure.
They're not like the ladies down at Colfax Point.
231
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,352
...Colfax Point?
232
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:10,439
Well yeah, those women will have sex with anybody.
233
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,356
Really?
234
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,359
M-maybe I can catch the bus
...and get down there before the talent show ends.
235
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,777
Th-thanks, Officer Barbrady!
236
00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:17,571
You're welcome, Jim.
237
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:21,491
Wait...
238
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:24,244
Colfax Point...
239
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:28,081
Pimps and hos and tricks in rows
240
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:32,503
Women walk the street with corns
on their feets
241
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,507
Broken dreams
and no ice creams
242
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,258
You lookin' for a date?
243
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,677
Hello? Hello?
244
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,805
I need to put my ...p-penis
in a woman's vagina. Any takers?
245
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,724
Excuse me, ma'am. What's your name?
246
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,392
They call me Nut Gobbler.
247
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,353
Well, Nut Gobbler, I need to get laid.
248
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:55,275
I have a raging hard-on that just won't quit,
and the talent show has already started.
249
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,236
You a cop?
250
00:12:57,528 --> 00:12:59,279
No. Actually, I'm a stand-up comic.
251
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,447
You got money?
252
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,448
Sure do.
253
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,659
All right, you got a place to go?
254
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,661
Sure. I know the p-perfect place.
255
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:10,165
Welcome to Buca de Fagghecini for
the authentic experienso Italiano.
256
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,460
My name is Roma, and
Oh, it's so nice to see you again, Mr. Valmer.
257
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,421
Hey, can it, jackass! I just don't want them
to know I was here with a different girl.
258
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,923
Oh right, pardone, segnore.
259
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,384
I'll come back with some
garlic bread mediterraneane.
260
00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:23,095
What are we doin' anyway?
261
00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:25,472
This is authentic Italian
food straight from S-Sicily.
262
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,266
You should try the Lotsa Mozzarella Pizza Roll.
263
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,853
I can't eat too much, I'lve got
an infected urinary tract.
264
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,688
I've been pissin' blood for a week.
265
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,649
Oh, uh, wow, that is very interesting.
Please tell me more.
266
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,111
Well, that's it, I just pissed blood!
267
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,572
So I have to stick a tampon up my peehole.
268
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:45,617
Wow. You know, I've never thought of
it that way before, but you're right.
269
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,036
If you're pissing blood, you can shuve
a tampon up your peehole.
270
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,997
You are very insightful.
Please tell me more.
271
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,541
Look, kid, what are you doin'?!
You wanna get laid or not?
272
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:53,876
Well of couse I wanna get laid.
273
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,670
That's why I'm taking you to this ...fancy place
and pretending to be interested in what you have to say..
274
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:57,880
Kid, I'm a hooker.
275
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,424
You don't have to take me to dinner
OR be nice to me.
276
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,967
What? Fo, for real?
277
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:04,636
You paid me, so you get to do me. It's that simple.
278
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,097
Well jumpin' Jesus,
what are we wasting our time here for then?
279
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,933
The talent show is happening right now!
Let's get to r-r-rammin'!
280
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,935
What are you doin', ho?! Havin' dinner?!
281
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,437
You're supposed to be workin' for me!
282
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,856
It's where the trick wanted to go, you bastard!
283
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:19,109
Trick?! I ain't stupid! Ain't no trick
gonna take you out to dinner!
284
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:21,361
This PIMP is tryin' to steal you away from me!
285
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:22,988
This is MY ho!
286
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,573
I beg to differ with you, sir.
287
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,950
I paid for her and took her out to dinner.
She's my ho!
288
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,202
Uh Jesus.
289
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,661
You got a problem, bitch?!
290
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,371
Yes, I do have a problem, as a matter of fact!
291
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:32,706
I've spent all my money on this ho,
292
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,041
and she's now my only shot at getting laid,
293
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,918
and the talent show is only a couple
of hours from being over.
294
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,544
You're comin' home right now!
295
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,963
Let go of my hair, you son of a bitch!
296
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,423
Sir, sir, that is my ho!
297
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:43,091
I'm gonna kick your ass, ho!
298
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,384
Sir, sir!
299
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,859
Son of a ...b-bitch!
300
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:02,611
Taxi!
301
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,948
Follow that pimp and ho!
302
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,619
Where are you taking me?!
303
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:11,995
I'm gonna kill you, ho!
304
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,289
No! Please! Q Money! I'm sorry!
305
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:15,874
You're already dead, ho!
306
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:21,505
Sir! I paid for that lady, and by taking her,
you are no better than a common th-thief!
307
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:22,589
Fuck you, punk!
308
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,097
Nut Gobbler, grab onto my crutch!
309
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,019
Get your ass back in here, ho!
310
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,188
I got you, Nut Gobbler!
311
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,903
No no nono no,
312
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,823
I'm not gonna be in the talent show.
313
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:50,033
Oh no no no no no.
314
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,703
I'll never be in your faggy talent show.
315
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:58,959
Okay, that was the Goth kids with
"Talent Shows Are For Fags"
316
00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:01,086
That was killer. We showed them.
317
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,504
Yeah, I hope we win.
318
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:06,884
Come on, ho!
319
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,639
Look out!
320
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,325
Stay on him! I'm not giving up!
321
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:40,918
Okay, very nice, Clark and Laura. Very nice.
322
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:45,214
Our next act is Butters, who will be singing a song
323
00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:47,049
There's our boy.
324
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,639
Lu lu lu, I'vw got some...
325
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:55,599
some... uh,
326
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,435
some uh... some,
327
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,147
Oh no!
328
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,442
No no noho noo!
329
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,862
Okay, thank you Butters,
very nice, short and sweet.
330
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,951
Goddamn, this pimp just won't give up!
331
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:15,661
Get close to him!
332
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,627
How much do I owe you?
333
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:26,755
6 dollars and 24 cents.
334
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,050
C-can I just get 2 back, please?
335
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,426
Oh, thank you very much.
336
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:33,762
There you go.
Have a good 'n.
337
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:34,555
Thank you.
338
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,899
You're gonna pay for this, bitch!
339
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,943
No! Heelllp!!
340
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:55,200
Don't worry, Nut Gobbler!
I'm coming!
341
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,038
Oh Jesus, not now.
342
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,166
Oh boy, this is embarassing.
343
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,669
And now we have Eric Cartman,
344
00:18:05,711 --> 00:18:09,548
who will be doing select
readings from the movie, Scarface.
345
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,179
D'you know what you are?
346
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,723
You're all a bunch of fucking cock roaches!
347
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,266
You need people like me!
348
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:22,227
You need people like me so you
can point your fucking finger
349
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,812
and say "That's the bad guy!"
350
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,772
Well say goodnight to the bad guy!!
351
00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:27,816
That's my little boy.
352
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,903
Please, Q Money!
Don't do this!
353
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,821
I told you never to turn on me, ho!
354
00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:35,240
Hey, j-j-jackass!
355
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,036
I'm sorry I resorted to calling
you jackass just now,
356
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,496
but I'm very upset!
357
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:44,333
And what are you gonna do, huh?!
I've got four feet on you AND a gun!
358
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:45,501
What do you have?!
359
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,376
What do I have?
360
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:47,711
The weapon of comedy.
361
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,464
So apparently the Chinese and
the Japanese aren't getting along lately.
362
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,174
Have you seen this?
Have you heard about this?
363
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,300
What?!
364
00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:56,803
I'll tell you one thing: their food hasn't
been getting along with my stomach for years.
365
00:18:58,514 --> 00:18:59,765
That's pretty good.
366
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,184
Martha Stewart is out of jail.
Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?
367
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,812
Oh yeah. That's right, she is.
368
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,357
She's apparently gotten real good
with baking cakes with keys in them.
369
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,320
Serves you right, you son of a bitch!
370
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:14,947
Nice teamwork, Nut Gobbler.
371
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,407
I can't believe you chased me all this way.
372
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,118
You, you really care about me.
373
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,120
Not really. You're just a hooker,
and I need to get laid.
374
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,622
The talent show could be over any minute.
375
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:25,249
That's good enough for me.
376
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,376
Take me to bed.
377
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,477
Okay, very nice, Ike, thank you.
378
00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:31,690
All right, children, it looks
like we have no more contestants,
379
00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:34,067
which means, the Talent Show is over!
380
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,196
Mr. Mackey, it's over.
381
00:20:37,446 --> 00:20:38,822
Oh oh oh, right.
382
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:43,535
Now we will tally up the judges' scores
and find out which act they hated the least.
383
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,162
Hold everything!
384
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,926
Mrs. Garrison, if you don't mind,
I'll be taking that microphone..
385
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:02,763
Okay, let's put our hands
together for Jimmy Valmer.
386
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:06,975
Wow, what a terrific audience.
387
00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:09,394
So apparently it's been exactly
two years since the fall of Baghdad.
388
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,729
Have you seen this?
Have you heard about this?
389
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:14,441
Just as B-Bush predicted, Baghdad fell,
Iraq fell, Saddam fell.
390
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:17,027
The only thing that didn't fall was
...the price of gas.
391
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:20,697
I just read in the paper that China's protesting Japan.
392
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,115
Have you seen this?
Have you heard about this?
393
00:21:22,199 --> 00:21:24,034
Yeah, I guess in China you don't get to-
394
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,622
You've gotta be kidding me.
30170
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