All language subtitles for south.park.901

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:04,953 South Park 801 512x384 Xvid 141MB 2 00:00:30,036 --> 00:00:32,500 Subtitles by Tzar 3 00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:43,679 Hello, Mr. Garrison, I'm Dr. Biber. I'll be performing your surgery today. 4 00:00:44,014 --> 00:00:47,479 God bless you, Doctor. I know you'll make me well again. 5 00:00:47,795 --> 00:00:52,207 Now, you're absolutely sure you want a vaginoplasty? 6 00:00:52,364 --> 00:00:58,492 My whole life I've been a woman trapped in a man's body. A sex-change operation is my last chance at happiness. 7 00:00:58,615 --> 00:01:00,332 All right, then let's begin. 8 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,709 Just relax, Mr. Garrison. 9 00:01:03,092 --> 00:01:08,663 I think if more people could just see a sex-change operation, they would know how perfectly natural it is. 10 00:01:09,328 --> 00:01:13,001 The first thing I'm going to do is slice your balls. 11 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,134 With the scrotum open, I can now discard of your testicles. 12 00:01:21,671 --> 00:01:23,099 So long, balls. 13 00:01:25,571 --> 00:01:29,789 Now, I'll just continue the incision up the shaft of the penis. 14 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,269 Oh, that stings. 15 00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:36,238 Now I'll just... turn your... penis inside out. 16 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,278 OH! Oh jeez. 17 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:44,422 All we need to do now is ...stuff the ...unskinned penis inside your... pelvis... 18 00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:49,507 And now I'll use the skin from your penis to make vaginal lips. 19 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,555 Do I look like a woman? 20 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,835 Pretty much. 21 00:02:02,568 --> 00:02:03,696 Dude, don't be nervous. 22 00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:07,560 How can I not be nervous? Trying out for the All-State team has been my dream for years. 23 00:02:07,763 --> 00:02:09,883 You're the best player at our school, dude. You'll make the team for sure. 24 00:02:09,883 --> 00:02:12,365 This is ridiculous. Jews can't play basketball. 25 00:02:12,552 --> 00:02:14,178 I beat out YOUR fat ass, Cartman! 26 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:17,108 All students trying out for the All-State team to center court! 27 00:02:17,655 --> 00:02:18,372 Good luck. 28 00:02:23,831 --> 00:02:27,331 All right boys, now you're all here because you're the best of the best. 29 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:32,611 I know that you've all worked really hard to make it this far, so let's get out there and SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT! 30 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,226 Excuse me, Brof-Broflovski, is it? 31 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,182 Yeah? 32 00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:54,241 Can we talk to you for a minute? 33 00:02:55,779 --> 00:02:58,697 You uh... You're the best player in your school, are ya? 34 00:02:58,697 --> 00:03:01,900 Yep! I love basketball. I wanna play for the Denver Nuggets one day. 35 00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:10,625 Yeah. Uh, look, kid, you've got great skills and a great attitude. But you're just not physically ...built for the game. 36 00:03:11,545 --> 00:03:12,408 Oo whataya mean? 37 00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:16,429 Well, it's just that... Jew's can't play basketball. 38 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,585 Awwright, kids, we've gotta work on that shooting! Come on! 39 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,531 Dude, you were awesome, Kyle. 40 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,985 Look, y-you gave it your best shot, right? 41 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,204 That's all you could do. 42 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,780 Nyanyanyanyanyaaanyaaa! You-hoo-hoo-hoo loh-ost! Hahahahahaaahaaa! 43 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,147 Kyle, I'm totally ripping on you at a totally inappropriate time. 44 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,348 I know. I deserve it. 45 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,277 Yeah, you know why? Because Jews can't play basketball! 46 00:04:09,505 --> 00:04:10,132 You're right. 47 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,738 Jesus, that was fun... 48 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,551 Hey everybody, you're not gonna believe it! 49 00:04:22,084 --> 00:04:22,981 Believe what? 50 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,731 It's Mr. Garrison! Only it ISN'T Mr. Garrison! He- He's a woman now! 51 00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:31,592 Hello everybody! 52 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,561 Can you believe it ladies? I'm one of YOU now! 53 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:40,338 Wow, just look at all these tampons! 54 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,925 Regular, heave flow- Oh boy, I can't wait till I get my first period! 55 00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:53,715 Hi gals! Oh boy, can you believe the sales they're havin' out there? 56 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,641 Well, I'm about to pee out my vagina for the first time. 57 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,482 Give us a hug. Girls' Club! 58 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Oh wow! This is great. 59 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,503 Look at that, I'm peeing sittin' down like a dainty dignified little woman. 60 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,649 Sany, any of you ladies wanna go see a sad movie together? 61 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,218 You guys try those new wings tampons? Do those work well? 62 00:05:32,187 --> 00:05:35,326 Kyle, you have to cheer up, dude. So you aren't built right for basketball. 63 00:05:35,524 --> 00:05:38,745 But I feel like a basketball player. That's all I wanna do. 64 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:43,386 Hello, boys! It's me, your teacher! Mrs. Garrison! 65 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,067 You guys, Mr. Garrison has titties. 66 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,304 I had a sex-chamge operation. 67 00:05:49,304 --> 00:05:53,930 My penis is now a vagina and I'm experiencing womanhood for the first time in my life! 68 00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:55,324 See ya in class! 69 00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:03,878 Mom? Dad? What's a sex-change operation? 70 00:06:04,688 --> 00:06:08,458 What? Th'um, nuh-nothing. I- I'll explain it to you when you're a little older. 71 00:06:08,677 --> 00:06:12,738 But our teacher, Mr. Garrison? He just had his penis made into a vagina. How come? 72 00:06:13,007 --> 00:06:13,720 Penis! 73 00:06:14,066 --> 00:06:17,194 Your teacher had a sex change?? Oh my God! 74 00:06:17,194 --> 00:06:18,353 Vagina! 75 00:06:18,538 --> 00:06:21,267 That does it! I'm taking you boys OUT OF THAT SCHOOL! 76 00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:26,542 Gerald, that is very closed-minded of you! You shouldn't judge people who want to change. 77 00:06:26,566 --> 00:06:30,104 He's a teacher! How are we supposed to explain this to our children?! 78 00:06:30,191 --> 00:06:31,677 It's very simple. 79 00:06:31,938 --> 00:06:38,073 You see, Kyle, sometimes a person' outside doesn't reflect who they are on the inside. 80 00:06:38,457 --> 00:06:39,788 Yeah. That's right. 81 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,382 They feel like they're somebody trapped in another person's body. 82 00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:49,940 And so, they can have a surgery that makes them more into the person they see themselves as. 83 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,377 - Do you understand??? - Totally! I totally understand! 84 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,756 There. You see, Gerald? He totally understands. 85 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,968 So, I hear you're interested in reconstructive surgery. 86 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,676 Yeah. My school teacher wanted to be a woman, and you made him into one. 87 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,233 Oh yes, Mr. Garrison. Uh yes, he had a vaginoplasty. Mhm. 88 00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,501 Well, do you also do other surgeries like that? 89 00:07:12,631 --> 00:07:18,297 Sure. You see sometimes a woman wants to be a man. That procedure is called a peniplasty. 90 00:07:18,455 --> 00:07:20,577 No, no, uh I wanna be tall and black. 91 00:07:22,714 --> 00:07:23,347 ...You what? 92 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,200 I hate being small and Jewish. I feel like a tall black man. 93 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,844 Ohhhhh! You want a negroplasty! 94 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,937 - Yeah! - Wha-a-a negroplasty?? 95 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:40,503 It's a fairly common procedure, really, just the reverse of a caucasioplasty just like Michael Jackson had. 96 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,354 Let's take a look here. 97 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:48,058 What we do is slice your face and peel it back so we can insert now pig-ment producing cells inside. 98 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:52,608 We break the arm bones in several places and put braces to make them longer. 99 00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:58,528 Now, the knees we need to snap off and fill with small round objects that can cause better movement. 100 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:02,502 And we finish it off with a nice peniplasty to enhance the genitalia. 101 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,959 Negroplasty takes about seven hours and costs roughly 3000$. 102 00:08:07,289 --> 00:08:09,594 Uh excuse me, is this really a good idea? 103 00:08:10,536 --> 00:08:15,110 Well, it's a good idea if you wanna be tall and black. Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it. 104 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:24,098 Hello, Mr. Slave. Boy have I been busy. A woman's work is never done. 105 00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:28,123 I got some tampons. I should be getting my period really soon. 106 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,710 I hope I don't get too emotional and drive you crazy with my PMS. 107 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,235 Mr. Slave, I got somethin' for us, too. 108 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,746 Would you like to take this beautiful woman to bed? 109 00:08:42,506 --> 00:08:45,588 - No thanks. - Nu- no thanks? 110 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,621 Come on, Mr. Slave, I wanna try out my new snootch. 111 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:53,665 I can't believe you just went ahead and had that surgery without even asking me what I thought. 112 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:59,758 Well, I ASSUMED you supported me. It's still me; I just have a vagina instead of a penis. 113 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:03,034 But I'm gay! I don't like vaginas! 114 00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:07,393 Don't you even care that I was suffering? I wasn't happy the way I was! 115 00:09:07,417 --> 00:09:12,318 It's great that you feel better, but you never stopped to think about how other people around you would feel! 116 00:09:12,499 --> 00:09:16,530 Look, we can still be together. All you have to do is stop being gay! 117 00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:22,336 - How can you say that?! You're gay too! - I'm not gay! I'm a woman! 118 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,129 Oh, Jezuth Christh! 119 00:09:24,303 --> 00:09:28,246 Oh, so is that it?! You're just gonna walk out?! You men are all alike! 120 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:32,700 Go ahead and find somebody who doesn't have a vagina, you fag! 121 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,689 Mom! Dad! I have awesome news! 122 00:09:37,689 --> 00:09:41,185 The doctor who gave Mr. Garrison his sex change said he can make me tall and black. 123 00:09:42,505 --> 00:09:42,972 What?? 124 00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:47,176 Dr. Biber said he can give me a negroplasty so I can finally look the way I've always wanted. 125 00:09:47,176 --> 00:09:51,521 He even took my picture and then did computer imaging to show what I would look like after the surgery. 126 00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,397 Oh, just great! You see, Sheila?! 127 00:09:56,397 --> 00:10:01,125 This is what your transgender progressive thinking gets you! Now your son wants to be transracial! 128 00:10:01,149 --> 00:10:03,438 Can I have 3000$ ? Mom and Dad, huh?? Can I?? 129 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:06,710 - Absolutely not, Kyle! - But why not? 130 00:10:06,829 --> 00:10:09,776 You said sometimes people need surgery to make them feel better about themselves. 131 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,737 Yes, but Kyle... 132 00:10:10,737 --> 00:10:15,230 Well, all my life I felt I was black! I've listened to hip-hop, I watch UPN and I love playing basketball! 133 00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:17,188 My body doesn't reflect who I am inside. 134 00:10:17,414 --> 00:10:19,786 Kyle, you have to accept your body the way it is. 135 00:10:20,015 --> 00:10:25,000 - Why? Why do I have to accept it when I can change it? - The answer is NO, Kyle! You're NOT going to have negroplasty! 136 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,962 - But Jews can't play basketball! - Kyle, you'd better stop being anti-Semitic right now, mister!! 137 00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:32,873 I'm never speaking to either of you ever again! 138 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,191 - Oh, that does it! - Where are you going?! 139 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:39,283 That Dr. Biber is about to get his ass bitten off! 140 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,120 Who the hell do you think you are?! 141 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,080 Dr. Biber. 142 00:10:51,572 --> 00:10:56,000 What kind of nutjob would agree to surgically alter my son into a tall African-American?! 143 00:10:56,024 --> 00:11:00,915 - Oh, you're Kyle's father. - Huh that's right! And I also happen to be a lawyer! 144 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,523 And I'm gonna have you sued for malpractice, and your clinic shut down!! 145 00:11:05,179 --> 00:11:06,507 What is that on your shirt? 146 00:11:07,264 --> 00:11:10,437 What th- Look, they're- They're dolphins. Why? 147 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,429 Ahhh you like dolphins, hm? 148 00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:19,268 I love dolphins, Ever since I was a child I dreamt of... But that has hardly any bearing on what I'm hear to- 149 00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:20,630 I can make you one. 150 00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:22,358 ...What? 151 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,588 Invert the back, move the esophagus to the top of the head. 152 00:11:25,588 --> 00:11:29,201 Yes, a full dolphinoplasty could be achieved relatively simply... 153 00:11:29,616 --> 00:11:31,822 Make me a... dolphin? 154 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:47,633 If I could swim with the dolphins, the soft and gentle dolphins... Why can't I swim with the dolphins? 155 00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:52,256 No, no, it's crazy. 156 00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:57,899 There's nothing crazy about a person wanting to look on the outside the way they feel on ths inside. 157 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,856 It's Girls Gone Wild! 158 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,254 These gilrs will do anything! 159 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,046 Oh jeez, should I do it?! Should I do it?! Oh what the hell! 160 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,453 Look, I'll giggle and make them bounce up and down! 161 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:28,028 Boy, men will do just about anything to get a look at our tits, won't they? 162 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:33,051 Men are all the same. My boyfriend walked out on me! Turns out he was a fag. 163 00:12:33,051 --> 00:12:37,121 But I've been livin' it up ever since, havin' sex with all kinds of different guys! 164 00:12:37,121 --> 00:12:38,216 Girl power! 165 00:12:38,595 --> 00:12:41,841 You know, the strange thing is, I haven't gotten my period yet. 166 00:12:41,841 --> 00:12:44,513 Is there a reason a woman might miss her period? 167 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:50,370 Well, normally, if a woman misses her period, it means she's pregnant. 168 00:12:51,465 --> 00:12:56,317 ...Pregnant? Oh my God. Of course. 169 00:12:56,341 --> 00:13:01,505 I haven't gotten to experience a period because... one of those truckers I slept with got me knocked up. 170 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:06,923 I'm pregnant, everybody! Hoh boy, now I can have an abortion! 171 00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:16,587 Gerald! What happened to you?! 172 00:13:16,697 --> 00:13:20,615 That doctor is a miracle worker, Sheila. Iiii'm the happiest I've ever been. 173 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,358 Look, Ike! You're daddy's a dolphin! 174 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,860 A dolphin?!?! 175 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:31,199 Sheila, ih-it was wrong of us to be so judgmental of Kyle. 176 00:13:31,199 --> 00:13:37,567 If he isn't happy with who he is, then who are we to deny hm surgery that will make him feel better about himself? 177 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,913 - Gerald, this is crazy!... - I used to think I was crazy. 178 00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:47,102 But Dr, Biber told me that there are a lot of other people out there who are transpecies. 179 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:53,853 All I did is change my appearance to look the way I felt... here. 180 00:13:54,012 --> 00:13:59,176 And I'm telling you now that if we don't let Kyle do the same, he may never be happy. Ever! 181 00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:04,077 We owe him more than that, Sheila. We owe him understanding! 182 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,404 Fellas! Hey fellas, you gotta come see! 183 00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:13,255 - What? - Uhh, it's Kyle! Huh, he's a Negro! 184 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:18,833 - Can't believe it. - Did it hurt? 185 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,632 Yeah, but it was totally worth it. 186 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,057 - Jesus Christ, dude! - Look, Stan, I'm finally whole! 187 00:14:25,057 --> 00:14:28,395 My dad is even gonna take me back down to the all-star game to see if I can try out for the team again! 188 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,217 - Come on, Kyle, we should get going! - All right, Dad! 189 00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:39,606 - Dude, is Kyle's- dad a- dolphin? - He's a Jewish dolphin. A Jewphin. 190 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:51,226 You here for an abortion too? Yeah, I discovered a few days ago I wasn't bleedin' out my coo, so I guess I'm knocked up. 191 00:14:51,226 --> 00:14:52,299 Is this doctor any good? 192 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,523 - Mrs... Garrison? - Oh, that's me. 193 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,017 Hello doctor, looks like I need an abortion. 194 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,948 - ...an abortion? - Yeah, I've got one growing inside me. 195 00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:08,735 Now, are you gonna scramble its brains or just vacuum it out? 196 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:13,554 If you want you can just scramble it and I'll queef it out myself. 197 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,300 - Mmister Garrison - Mrs. Garrison. 198 00:15:17,725 --> 00:15:21,114 Mmrs. Garrison, you can't have an abortion. 199 00:15:21,138 --> 00:15:25,657 Don't you tell me what I can and can't do with my body! A woman has a right to choose! 200 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:31,596 No, I mean you're physically unable to have an abortion, because you can't get pergnant. 201 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:35,613 - But I missed my period. - You can't have periods either. 202 00:15:35,613 --> 00:15:42,175 You had a sex change, Mr. Garrison, but you don't have ovaries or a womb. You don't produce eggs. 203 00:15:42,516 --> 00:15:49,002 You mean, I'll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out? 204 00:15:49,026 --> 00:15:50,179 N-that's right. 205 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:55,907 But I paid five thousand dollars to be a woman. This would mean I I'm not really a woman. 206 00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:59,349 Ih, I'm just a... a I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis! 207 00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:01,011 Basically, yes. 208 00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:04,927 ...Oh boy, do I feel like a jackass. 209 00:16:09,873 --> 00:16:13,309 - Hey asshole! - Excuse me, I'm performing an operation here! 210 00:16:13,309 --> 00:16:17,224 - You told me you were going to make me into a woman! - I gave you a sex change. 211 00:16:17,248 --> 00:16:21,905 Yeah?! Well what kind of woman can't have abortions and bleed out her snatch once a month?! 212 00:16:21,905 --> 00:16:26,184 You made me into a FREAK is what you did! And I want you to change me back! 213 00:16:26,469 --> 00:16:27,498 Am I a man yet? 214 00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:31,630 - Mr. Garrison, I can't reattach your organs. - Why the hell not?! 215 00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:37,477 Because I've already used your testicles to fashion new knees for a little boy who wanted to be tall and black. 216 00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:38,622 You WHAT?! 217 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:44,000 And your scrotum has been made into a dorsal fin for a man who wanted to look more like a dolphin. 218 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:49,261 Oh you! You're comin' with me right now to find my ball and scrotum right now, Mr. Man! 219 00:16:54,890 --> 00:17:00,704 Welcome to the All-State Basketball Playoffs between the best fourth-grade players from Colorado 220 00:17:00,704 --> 00:17:03,863 and the best fourth-grade players from Wyoming. 221 00:17:05,527 --> 00:17:07,907 Coach! Coach, I'm all better. I'm ready to play. 222 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,596 - Who are you? - Ih it's me, Kyle Broflovski. 223 00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:14,360 I had a negroplasty. Can I play in the All-State team now? 224 00:17:15,226 --> 00:17:18,737 Well, you're tall and black enough. All right, Broflovski, suit up! 225 00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:22,977 - All right! Dad, I can play! - All right Kyle! 226 00:17:26,842 --> 00:17:29,144 Excuse me, where do you have special seating for dolphins? 227 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:40,325 - Boys, have you seen Kyle?! He's not at home. - Kyle went down to play in the basketball game, Mrs. Garrison. 228 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:44,542 - He's going to play basketball? Oh my God. - What? 229 00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:47,892 Well, ah I only made him look like he could play basketball. 230 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:52,132 If he actually does it, the testicle in his knees will explode! 231 00:17:52,264 --> 00:17:54,298 What?! But you made him into a basketball player. 232 00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:58,308 No, I just made him look more like one. We have to stop him from playing! 233 00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:01,108 Those testicles in his knees are ticking time balls! 234 00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:06,136 Oh Jesus! We've gotta get to my balls before Kyle hurts himself! 235 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,064 Broflovski, be ready to take over for Owens. 236 00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:23,721 I'm a hundred percent ready, coach! 237 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,473 Excuse me, where, where is the bathroom for dolphins? 238 00:18:33,204 --> 00:18:35,217 We don't... have one. 239 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:39,206 Well where the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom? I I need a large tank with salt water. 240 00:18:40,976 --> 00:18:42,012 Too bad? 241 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,760 Damnit you people have to make special arrangements for transpecies people like me! 242 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:51,512 - I may be a dolphin, but I'm also a lawyer! - You're a lawphin? 243 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,975 - Tickets please. - We don't have tickets! 244 00:18:56,226 --> 00:19:01,450 - Sorry ma'am, no tickets, no entry. - Look, there's a boy with my balls in his knees and he's in serious danger! 245 00:19:02,231 --> 00:19:07,656 - What? - That dolphin has my scrotum! 246 00:19:07,656 --> 00:19:09,633 - Now let us in! - You can't go in, ma'am! 247 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,475 We have unauthorized entry on level one! 248 00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:20,163 - All right. Broflovski, you're going in next possession. - All right! 249 00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:26,701 - Gerald, where's Kyle?! - What? Why?? 250 00:19:26,772 --> 00:19:29,851 My balls are in his knees. If he jumps with them they'll explode! 251 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:30,802 Oh my God! 252 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:35,165 - There they are, next to that dolphin! - Come on, we've gotta get to those balls! 253 00:19:37,401 --> 00:19:40,045 Stop them! They didn't pay the two-dollar entry fee! 254 00:19:40,707 --> 00:19:44,233 Now substituting for Colorado, number 8, Kyle Broflovski. 255 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,544 Oh Jesus, he's about to play! 256 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,912 Mrs. Garrison, grab Kyle! 257 00:19:53,636 --> 00:19:54,793 Which one is he?? 258 00:20:02,293 --> 00:20:04,386 - Hey, what the hell?! - Stop the game! 259 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,431 I got it! I got the ball. 260 00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:16,767 - Kyle, NO! - Broflovski goes for the dunk! 261 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:26,155 NO! My baaaallllssss. 262 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,139 So let me get this straight. 263 00:20:45,139 --> 00:20:52,656 That woman over there was trying to get to her balls which were in the knees of a black child whose father is a dolphin. 264 00:20:53,408 --> 00:20:54,543 Yeah, that's basically it. 265 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,655 Sounds like an open and shut case. All right, let's head 'em out! 266 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:02,226 I'm sorry, Kyle, I should have told you the surgery was cosmetic only. 267 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,957 So, does this mean I'm not really a dolphin? 268 00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:10,087 Let's get you two up to the clinic and I'll change you back, for a nominal fee. 269 00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,465 But what about Mr. Garrison? He can't go back. 270 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:23,020 You know what? I'm okay. Even though I'm not truly a woman, I think I still like the new me. 271 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:26,408 I'd rather be a woman who can't have periods than a fag. 272 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:32,543 Hey guys! This girl is staying a woman! Who wants to pound my vadge! Girl power! 24820

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.