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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,423
You're about to learn the tragic fate
of the Oak Point High lacrosse team.
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,717
But this podcast won't cash in
on their specific
3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,678
and particularly gruesome
group decapitation.
4
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:12,929
Too bad. Someone else will.
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,222
It's a big market, man.
6
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:17,058
Morty, don't just respond.
Find a podcast without scruples.
7
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,727
Cryo-ship detected.
8
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,478
Ooh, power's still online?
9
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,856
What do you think, Morty?
Bunch of sleeping beauties?
10
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,107
Wanna go tap on some glass?
11
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,400
That could be fun.
12
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,152
We haven't done one
of those in a while.
13
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,403
Welcome to Bloodbath!
14
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,655
The podcast that's only
grisly details!
15
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:31,990
Now we're talkin'!
16
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,332
Holy shit. Look at this place.
17
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:44,044
Damn, Morty, ain't just
your run-of-the-mill ark ship.
18
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,378
This thing is gold-plated.
19
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,338
Wow, where do you think
they're going?
20
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,234
Looks like these guys
flung themselves into space
21
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,634
after wrecking their home world.
22
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,470
This'll be like taking
candy from a baby,
23
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,888
if that baby was in a coma.
24
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,057
Oh. We're robbing them?
25
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,684
Morty, what did
I just say about scruples?
26
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,020
Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty?
27
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,772
This thing is fancy.
28
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,399
Computer said it's got
super-rare hypercoal inside.
29
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,902
The planet they left
must be a husk, Morty.
30
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,570
Access denied.
31
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,153
Alright, on second thought,
32
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,843
let's just blow a hole in the ship
and drag the vault home.
33
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,136
- What?!
- Help me with these charges.
34
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,804
This'll be quick.
They got fast countdowns.
35
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,663
Rick, I'm fine
with taking candy from a baby,
36
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,166
but I draw the line
at blowing up the stroller!
37
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,710
What the hell, Morty?!
We're not literally robbing babies.
38
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:28,922
God damn it, Morty!
Look what you did!
39
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,548
They're counting down even faster.
40
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,718
Fire detected.
41
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,804
Emergency cryo-wake
commencing in 30 seconds.
42
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,555
You little shit! You woke 'em up!
43
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,265
- Good! Let's get outta here!
- Fuck you.
44
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,309
I'm not leaving
without that hypercoal!
45
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,188
Now go find that other pod
with a dead guy in it.
46
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,648
- Hey! What dead guy?!
- Sub-Bay 18.
47
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,125
Just get in the pod with the bones!
48
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,984
Or don't, and get thrown
out an airlock.
49
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,837
- Cryo-wake in 10 seconds.
- You did this to yourself.
50
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,030
Everything that happens
after this is your fault.
51
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,883
You're gonna wish you were one
of those Oak Point kids
52
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,384
- after I get through with you.
- I'm going!
53
00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,488
Don't you run away from me!
54
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,870
I've got more
to yell at you, Morty! Morty!
55
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:36,614
- Cryo-wake in three, two...
- Shit, shit, shit.
56
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,333
Oh, boy.
Talk about a cryo-crick in the neck.
57
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,294
Hope my schwanz still works.
58
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,547
What's a schwanz?
59
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:55,049
- Jimmy?!
- Oh my God! Jimmy? Is that you?!
60
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,301
Um, no?
61
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,552
It's our boy, honey.
62
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,012
He's got the family bald spot.
63
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,847
Doctor! Doctor, please!
64
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,015
Ah, Karen. How can I...
65
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,683
Oh my God!
66
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,603
The pod. There must have been
some kind of... malfunction.
67
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,438
Son? Are you in there?
68
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,772
What do you remember?
69
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,234
Last thing I remember was being... 13.
70
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,485
- Eleven.
- Eleven.
71
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,571
It must be the pituitary
governor on his pod.
72
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,655
While we were in stasis,
73
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,574
Jimmy kept growing
at an accelerated rate.
74
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,825
Will he be okay?
75
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,912
Short answer, no. Long answer, nope.
76
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,038
Doctor!
77
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,248
I went to school
for medicine, not manners.
78
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,376
Look at him... gray skin,
necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes.
79
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,920
I give him a week, tops.
80
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,963
Our poor child!
81
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,217
We're gonna use whatever time
we have left to make things right.
82
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,843
Should I get him some clothes?
83
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,303
His penis is big now.
84
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,309
Ugh. Wish that pod had
a snooze button.
85
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,269
Alright, Makeys, let's get to work!
86
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,897
Um, aren't we all, like, super rich?
87
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,193
Only thing "rich" down here
is that joke.
88
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,946
"Chachaco"... you're on toilet duty.
89
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,615
Okay, I'm not supposed to be here.
90
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,325
My grandpa's a scientist.
91
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,410
- I just jumped in this pod because...
- What?
92
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,121
MedBay! Got another
compliance chip on the fritz.
93
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,166
Why do I have to mop?!
I should be driving the ship!
94
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,129
Jokin' again!
95
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,215
I'm definitely the thing
you guys are.
96
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,883
Ready to clean!
97
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,263
Jimmy! There you are!
98
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,722
We've been looking for you.
99
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,349
Are you trying to open the vault?
100
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,851
I thought maybe
you were stuck in there.
101
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,687
I'm just a kid and... dumb.
102
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:31,938
That's alright, sweetie.
103
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:34,357
Money affords us
the ability to be dumb.
104
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,900
Son, it's important to us
105
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:39,153
that you're recognized
as a man in the eyes of God...
106
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,364
before you die, which feels soon.
107
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,865
So, tomorrow night,
108
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,077
we're holding
your Constellatio Celebratio!
109
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,996
Pretty sure God
already made me a man.
110
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,455
Like, very rapidly.
111
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,791
But he didn't make you a citizen.
112
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:52,875
This will.
113
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,169
And once you join our society,
114
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,463
you'll get access to our knowledge,
115
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,299
- our history...
- Our hypercoal?
116
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,425
Well, sure.
117
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,677
You'd get a key
to the vault like every citizen.
118
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,887
You see, son, we're very, very rich.
119
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,015
Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's...
120
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,767
Let's Constellatio this up. I'm in!
121
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,103
- Ah, that's the spirit!
- Come on, son.
122
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,688
Let's get you a big lollipop
123
00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,398
and dress you like a little sailor.
124
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,318
Ugh! How much shit is there?
125
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,361
They've only been awake
for five hours.
126
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,280
Grub time, Chachaco!
127
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,615
- Hurry. We only got eight minutes.
- Great.
128
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,369
Man, cryo-sleep, huh?
129
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,496
Guess I forgot how bad the food was.
130
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,540
Yeah, wish I could forget.
131
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,208
Tastes like lumpy piss.
132
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,044
Which I love!
133
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,212
Love piss. Look at me eat it up.
134
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,506
This gruel, it's got energy, lumps,
135
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,258
all the things a Makey needs.
136
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,969
Why do we call ourselves
that again?
137
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,680
Wow, cryo really took it
outta you, huh?
138
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,223
They gave us that term.
139
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,018
'Cause we "make" it all possible.
140
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,686
If we're Makeys,
141
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,938
maybe that makes them "Takeys."
142
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,775
Did you not just get complio-shocked?
143
00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,942
Oh... yeah.
144
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,320
You learn to take the pain.
145
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,654
- Whoa!
- Bad-ass!
146
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,948
Chachaco's hardcore.
147
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,119
Rick?! Where the hell have you been?
148
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,830
Morty! Great news.
It's all going as planned.
149
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,832
- We didn't have a plan!
- We do now.
150
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,460
These people, Morty,
they're golden retrievers.
151
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,669
No natural predators,
152
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,380
totally softened
by generational wealth.
153
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,024
Tomorrow they're throwing me
some kind of
154
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,248
"becoming a man" thing
and just giving me the hypercoal.
155
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,094
Who cares?! Get me outta here!
156
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,096
I'm literally scooping shit by hand!
157
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,931
Good. You made your bed, lay in it.
158
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,734
- Gimme the car keys!
- No! We're not leaving!
159
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:32,975
Yes, we are, you greedy shit!
160
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,854
Damn! Chachaco's giving that
old rich kid a piece of his mind!
161
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,107
Give them to me, you Takey scum!
162
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,733
Hey! Leave our son alone!
163
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,402
Your son sucks!
164
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,570
Chachaco, are you crazy?!
165
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,573
Get back here!
We'll be speaking to your manager!
166
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,243
No, no. It's fine.
Just jealous poor people.
167
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,911
Ungrateful monsters!
168
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,329
Impatient, too!
169
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,499
Holy shit. Are you crazy?
170
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,834
We're all gonna get it now!
171
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,627
What the hell got
into you, Chachaco?!
172
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,295
He's an asshole!
173
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,588
Okay, seriously.
174
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:03,923
How are you not getting zapped?
175
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,384
- Ow! Hey!
- Something's up with his chip.
176
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,969
He don't got one!
177
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,846
- No chip?!
- I took it out.
178
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,973
They said taking the chips out
would kill us.
179
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,933
Chachaco is living proof it won't.
180
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,435
Wait! Stop!
181
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,564
Chachaco killed Tibs!
182
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,773
Should we tell someone?
183
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,150
Listen, I'm not who you...
184
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,697
Chachaco, you're an idiot.
185
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,408
And a goddamn hero!
186
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:31,784
Thanks?
187
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,494
Tell the Makeys to gather.
188
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,706
It's time to show the Takeys
who really runs this ship.
189
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,542
And after you finish
sipping from the final chalice,
190
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,628
the sacred light
will shine down upon you.
191
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,882
You've grown so much.
We are so proud of you.
192
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,593
Jimmy, I used to dread
giving this to you.
193
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,554
It's the most precious thing
in our family,
194
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,306
and frankly you were a brat.
195
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,725
But there's nothing
like a fluke cryopod accident
196
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,352
to show you what really matters.
197
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,980
It's your father's Constellatio suit,
198
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:04,192
from his father,
and his father before him.
199
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,360
Oh, that's not necessary.
200
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,154
I'm still a brat.
201
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,949
I'm just glad
we're getting to do this.
202
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,493
We love you, son.
203
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,869
We love you.
204
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,414
Yeah. Love you guys, too.
205
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,292
You've never said that before.
Honey, he loves us!
206
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,836
I'm so glad you said it
before you die of old age!
207
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,087
My boy!
208
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,964
Oh, Jimmy!
209
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,223
Fresh planet, fresh start.
210
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,225
Fresh planet, fresh start.
211
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,060
- We have a slogan now?
- Catchy, huh?
212
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,023
Tibs is looking for ya.
Great cover, by the way,
213
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,813
acting like nothing's happening.
214
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,152
- General Chachaco!
- General?
215
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,904
Fresh planet, fresh start!
216
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:52,907
You taught us the only way
to beat those rich bastards
217
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,867
is to actually beat them.
218
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,537
Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang.
219
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,789
To bang people's heads in.
My invention.
220
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,708
Yeah. Maybe we put a pin
in the Bang-Bang
221
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,877
and peacefully ask
for some change-change?
222
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,213
What am I saying?
They put chips in your heads.
223
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,174
Phew. For a second,
you sounded like Spoogler.
224
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,426
Yeah, where is Spoogler?
225
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,553
Oh my God!
226
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,597
Spoogler's out there waiting
to hear both sides of the issue.
227
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,975
Meanwhile, we're gonna
take out the Takeys.
228
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,643
Ah, geez, I don't know.
229
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,104
We got that old kid's
party tomorrow...
230
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:26,065
That's brilliant, General!
Attack during the party.
231
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,334
Not quite what I was pitching.
232
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,486
Those Takeys are gonna regret
the day they messed with you!
233
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,822
We got a hand thing now?
234
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,448
For the resistance.
235
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,410
This feels too long
for a secret handshake.
236
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,288
Constellatio!
237
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,583
The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy.
238
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,961
You've really taken your grossly
shortened lifespan in stride.
239
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,297
I couldn't think of two
better parents to die before.
240
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,173
- Get over here, ya goofball!
- Hey, my hair!
241
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,009
I just put gel in!
242
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,227
Ah, geez.
243
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,313
Father, we gotta delay the ceremony.
244
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,231
Something bad is going to happen.
245
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,482
I sure hope so.
246
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,068
Great idea to stick pins
in the Bang-Bangs.
247
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,238
People of Plociff,
248
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,283
tonight young James Jamerson
ascends to manhood.
249
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,368
Hell yeah! Gonna be a man!
250
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,079
Rick, we really gotta go now.
251
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,831
Don't ruin this for these people.
252
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:28,169
Party people!
Let's hit those chalices!
253
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,253
We love it, son!
254
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,338
Proud of you!
255
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,009
Alright, Father. Gimme the light.
I'll take it from here.
256
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,136
How 'bout you take this
in your Takey neck?!
257
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,596
- Watch out!
- Whoa!
258
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:39,972
Going off script, padre.
259
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,724
Party's over, Takeys!
260
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,059
Why isn't she complying?
261
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,727
It's not working!
262
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,228
Fresh planet, fresh start!
263
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,652
- Bang-Bang!
- Wait!
264
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,695
You can't attack them!
They're helpless.
265
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,198
They don't even know
that food comes from somewhere.
266
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,786
We gotta get to someplace safe.
Like the vault.
267
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,913
- Gimme that!
- You got it, boss!
268
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,124
My bad.
269
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,584
Morty. Change of plans.
270
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,628
Take me to the vault! Now!
271
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,214
- Please don't hurt our boy!
- Just do what he says.
272
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,299
But if this deranged janitor
kidnaps me
273
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,967
and steals everything
from this vault,
274
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,762
just know you two were great parents.
275
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,890
Really unreasonably trusting.
Maybe too trusting.
276
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,475
Honey, what are you talking about?
277
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,477
Open that safe, or you're worm food!
278
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,899
Greetings, Doug Jamerson.
279
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,442
Thank you for being rich.
280
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,533
Jesus, Morty!
281
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,868
Doug and Karen's only crime
is naively benefiting
282
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,161
from systemic inequity.
283
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,122
Just grab the loot, you big baby!
284
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,332
Interesting.
285
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,626
Wait, what?! You gotta be kidding me!
286
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,545
They robbed us!
287
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,380
The rich kid and the janitor
288
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,757
put aside their differences
to fuck us over!
289
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,592
Let's follow their example.
290
00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,802
Mob justice!
291
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,470
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
292
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,014
- Hold on a second!
- We can explain!
293
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,308
- Where's our money?!
- Where's our money?!
294
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,893
We told you, we don't know.
295
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,063
You manipulated a working class
to rise against a ruling class.
296
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,190
I was right, Chachaco. You are funny,
297
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,692
but not in the "ha ha" way.
298
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,570
In the bad way, like,
"Is my dog sitting like that"
299
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,321
because he's watching TV with us
300
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,741
"or is he 'expressing
his anal glands'" funny.
301
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,159
Oof. Long walk.
302
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,911
Under the Laws of Space,
I sentence you to death.
303
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,955
Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this!
304
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,374
I opened the safe and it was empty.
305
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,459
Sorry, Doug.
306
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,228
We checked the vault's log,
and the last person
307
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:36,046
to access it was, in fact,
Jimmy Jamerson.
308
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:40,217
That's not possible.
Jimmy Jamerson is dead.
309
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,343
What?!
310
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,555
I don't understand.
311
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,433
Karen, let me make this as
gentle as I can. We're aliens.
312
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:49,518
Come on, let's go see
your dead son's bones.
313
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,229
Bones?!
314
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,483
Oh, shit. Monkey bones.
Was Jimmy a monkey?
315
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,818
Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped!
316
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,570
What the hell is going on?!
317
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,696
I'm a zoologist.
318
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,781
Not you!
319
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:08,078
- Jimmy?
- And apparently, Guffy Chachaco.
320
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,830
They thought I was that guy?!
321
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:13,083
These two hacked the vault 30 minutes
after you all started hypersleep.
322
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,169
So Jimmy's still alive?
323
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,379
Fuck him!
Where the hell is our money?!
324
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,507
They bought a yacht.
It's on Blackjack 9.
325
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,716
They weren't very discreet.
326
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,926
Why would they be?
327
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,178
They thought you'd be asleep
for the next 200 years.
328
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,513
Little asshole.
329
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,389
When you woke up,
we thought Jimmy'd grown
330
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,433
into a thoughtful, kind man.
331
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,143
- We were so happy.
- This guy?
332
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,396
They were nice, so I was nice back.
Try it sometime, Morty.
333
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,565
Sorry to be the "money" guy,
334
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,317
but our cash is on a casino planet
335
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,985
and we're all just standing here?!
336
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,488
Wait! Wait!
337
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,657
All that money did is tear you apart.
338
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,993
From your friends, your neighbors,
even your old home.
339
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,955
But now you can go to
a whole new world as equals.
340
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,414
A place where you can live...
341
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,978
Son of a bitch. They're already gone.
342
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,961
Damn it. I was about
to tie it all together.
343
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,838
Space race, Morty! Let's go!
344
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,632
Gonna pay off med school, baby!
345
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,385
Time of death is now!
346
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,511
Hey!
347
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,829
They're gonna kill
each other for that money, Rick!
348
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,229
Why didn't we take your car?!
349
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:18,107
Constellatio gift from a rich uncle.
Be rude not to take it.
350
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,694
I never believed in God!
351
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,821
I do believe in God!
I do believe in God!
352
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,870
Chachaco, when I met you,
353
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,122
you were scooping
hot steamers out of a pipe.
354
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,832
So I saved you.
355
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:38,085
Now blow some working-class luck
on these dice, amigo.
356
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,963
Jimmy!
357
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,549
All the money goes to the 11-year-old
and his best friend.
358
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,676
- Yeah!
- Hey, turn up the TV.
359
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,636
A massive space race is underway,
360
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,639
apparently chasing down
a large fortune of stolen money.
361
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,975
Glizop is live with the story.
Glizop?
362
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,603
Tim, I'm here at the scene,
where I'm gonna be rich!
363
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,687
I quit!
364
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,397
Snap!
365
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,900
Wish he didn't do that.
Those mics are expensive.
366
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,320
In any case, here's a picture
of the suspected thieves.
367
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,072
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- Oh, man! Oh, God!
368
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,745
Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents!
369
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,205
Punch it, Chachaco!
Load up the hypercoal!
370
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,963
Hey! I gotta pay for those!
371
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,424
And soon I can!
372
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,261
Lovely pennies, copper pennies
373
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,138
Little window-shopper pennies
374
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,766
Lincoln-headed pennies
Touch them when I'm all alone
375
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,225
Son of a bitch!
376
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,352
You're a terrible doctor!
377
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,686
Tell that to my money!
378
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,771
I will!
379
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,856
Eat my pennies, kiss my pennies
380
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,816
Give a lil' miss my pennies
381
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,069
If you have a penny,
then I'll have you for my own
382
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:46,904
That money can't bring back Lizzy,
383
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:50,449
but it can buy another monkey
that I will also name Lizzy.
384
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,284
My mouth is full of pennies, pennies
385
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,704
Say it once again
386
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,332
Thank you, New Lizzy.
387
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,167
Tinkly pennies, sweaty pennies
388
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,877
Throw-'em-like-confetti pennies
389
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:06,548
A hundredth of a dollar
is as much as I require
390
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,008
I'm driving the ship!
391
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,426
I'm finally driving the ship!
392
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,347
Rick!
393
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,017
Okay. Think he found a shortcut?
394
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,644
No, he's just nuts.
395
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:26,986
My favorite part of the job...
escalating situations.
396
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,368
Hey! The race hasn't started yet!
397
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,245
Kinda bummed to leave
that race behind.
398
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,931
Thought we'd end up winning it
by accident.
399
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,124
Oh! Chicken coop cluster!
400
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,543
It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops!
401
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,047
Why would you roll the windows down?
402
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,716
I wanted the full experience.
403
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,467
Pennies, pennies, shiny pennies
404
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,428
Have-them-all-for-mine-y pennies
405
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,304
Melt me down for pennies...
406
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,473
You have the right to remain poor!
407
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,350
You have the right to shut up!
408
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,715
- Rick, there's too many of 'em!
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
409
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,355
Nothing I won't do to get
a pocketful of cents
410
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,690
Oh, man! They're on our ass!
411
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,817
I'll eat dirt for pennies
412
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,738
Why is this old dude
wearing my Constellatio suit?!
413
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,656
You don't deserve Karen and Doug!
414
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,991
Eat a dick!
415
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,578
Blue-collar guys always have an arm.
416
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,374
Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded!
417
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,626
We prepared for this, Jimmy.
418
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,712
Kiss the back of my head.
419
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,673
You little brat!
420
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,216
You can't hit me! I'm a kid!
421
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:34,011
I can't hit you. You're old.
422
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,099
Back!
423
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,727
I'd hold on to something, Rick.
424
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,312
You wouldn't.
425
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,819
- I can reach it!
- Leave it, Guffy!
426
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,196
We'll steal more!
427
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,740
No!
428
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,080
God damn it! We were right there!
429
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,957
These people will never stop killing
each other for this dumb shit.
430
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,459
It's over, Rick.
431
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,837
Chachaco, you funny bastard.
432
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,547
All our wealth...
433
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,632
It's gone.
434
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,927
Ah, screw it. I've come this far.
435
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,388
What's that lunatic doing?!
436
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,973
Taking our money!
437
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,741
I made it way worse.
438
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,661
- Jimmy!
- You're in big trouble, mister!
439
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,454
How could you rob your own parents?!
440
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,667
I'm sorry!
441
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,544
I thought it'd be funny
if you guys woke up
442
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,504
and thought I turned into a monkey.
443
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,756
- In 200 years?!
- You're a piece of shit!
444
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,924
You are a piece of shit.
445
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,551
Stay out of this, fake son!
446
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:59,054
Oh, Jimmy, you're a fuck up.
447
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,390
But we always threw cash
at the problem.
448
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,475
Now that we just have
these gold bars,
449
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,144
we'll have to throw ourselves.
450
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:09,356
Dad? I owe money to some bad people.
451
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,444
I set the navigation
to a nearby inhabitable planet.
452
00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:17,156
Also gave everyone a compliance chip.
453
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,199
You can finally get that fresh start.
454
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,869
We'll be fine as long
as these poor idiots don't...
455
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,580
Not so fun, is it, you Takey?
456
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,000
And if you remove those chips,
you will die.
457
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,711
Thanks... Rick, right?
458
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,505
Yeah. Sorry for pretending
to be a deformed version
459
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,215
of your dead son and try to rob you.
460
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,609
That's pretty messed up in hindsight.
461
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,051
It's messed up in any sight.
462
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,012
Rick, in only two days,
463
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,306
you were a better son
than Jimmy ever was.
464
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,600
- I can hear you!
- Shut up, Jimmy!
465
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,518
Yeah, shut your fucking mouth!
466
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,896
Using all our money to pay off
your goddamn loan sharks!
467
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,522
You suck, Jimmy!
468
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,251
- Ah, I wish you were never born!
- We're putting you up for adoption!
469
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,484
You're a loser!
470
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,154
Welp. The treasure is gone.
471
00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:00,324
And there were massive
casualties on both sides.
472
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,367
Still, I think we did good.
473
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,619
Right?
474
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,955
Rick? You okay?
475
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,540
Guess it's true...
476
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,418
You can choose your friends,
but you can't choose your family.
477
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:12,753
But I am family.
478
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,379
And you did choose me.
479
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,006
Yeah, it's a stupid quote.
480
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:19,426
Cryo-ship detected. Class: Medical.
481
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:23,847
They typically have some
pretty good drugs in those.
482
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,724
Okay. But five minutes, tops.
483
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,809
And you can't hog
all the drugs this time.
484
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:28,936
Sold!
485
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,639
Five million to call.
486
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:07,849
New Lizzy, think about this.
487
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,686
That's all our money.
We were gonna start a new life.
488
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,357
Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey.
489
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,442
Three of a kind to the lizard man.
490
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:20,279
And a full house for the monkey!
491
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,323
New Lizzy! Holy fuck,
I always knew you could do it.
492
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,783
God, I love you!
493
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:29,746
It's days like these that
remind me why I got into this.
494
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,749
Did you get any of that?36375
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