All language subtitles for Rick and Morty 1300MS- S08E04 - The Last Temptation of Jerry

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,628 --> 00:00:06,423 Deck the house with Easter baskets 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,092 Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, eggs 3 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:12,220 Plastic grass and chocolate rabbits 4 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,889 Fa-la-la-la-la, marshmallow bird 5 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,143 Easter is the time for giving 6 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:21,062 Fa-la-la-la-la-la, Easter milk 7 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,147 Hey, bud, 8 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,691 wanna decorate some Easter baskets with your old man? 9 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,818 What? No. I'm streaming on Twitch. 10 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,445 Fortnite just added JFK. 11 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,239 Maybe we could fill some baskets with jelly beans, 12 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,116 you know, get our tradition on? 13 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,909 I've gotta pack for spring break. 14 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,828 Also, "Jelly Bean" is a slur. 15 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,289 Come on, Beth. The kids are growing up. 16 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:42,042 Maybe you and I can hide some eggs one last time? 17 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,461 I don't need the house smelling like egg farts, Jerry. 18 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,713 Rick. Oh... 19 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,132 You know what? Never mind. 20 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,427 Doesn't anyone celebrate Easter anymore? 21 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:54,905 I don't wanna force people to go to church or anything, but... 22 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,639 Can you even tell me what Easter is about? 23 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,475 It's when Christ was born. 24 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,685 Or was murdered, maybe. I don't know. 25 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,396 But we eat candy to remember. It's important. 26 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,082 Jerry, if it wasn't for the aisle at Costco, 27 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,542 you wouldn't even know it was happening. 28 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:09,110 Yeah, Dad. Example: When's Christmas? 29 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,403 December 25th. 30 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,155 And what's today's date? 31 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,908 I... April. 32 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,118 Look, I want to be a good dad, okay? 33 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,288 And I know that you gotta go straight up the middle to do that. 34 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:23,249 If Easter is fading from our family, that's bad. 35 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:26,878 So, who's coming with me to get some egg dye? 36 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:33,551 Guess that just means more candy for Jer. 37 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,891 Jerry makes an egg, and it is nice 38 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,769 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 39 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,190 Oh, my God. Are you okay... 40 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,612 Oh, my God, what a terrible time to have eaten so much candy. 41 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:55,907 I'm sorry. 42 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,492 I'm not trying to kill you with vomit! 43 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,119 I'm just so scared. 44 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:37,031 Please, please tell me this isn't who I think it is. 45 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,492 Well, do you know of any other bipedal humanoid rabbits? 46 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,995 Oh, my God, I killed the Easter Bunny. 47 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,056 Along with the hopes and dreams of children everywhere. 48 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,666 Summer! Share those jokes with me in private. 49 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:47,959 Rick, what does this mean? 50 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,295 Not sure. I have a few questions. 51 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,963 Did you puke on it to try and kill it? 52 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:53,965 - No! - I have no more questions. 53 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,466 Huh. 54 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,303 This necklace is German, 13th century. 55 00:02:58,386 --> 00:02:59,929 Shows permafrost damage and... 56 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,390 Feel my heart. It's beating a million beats per second! 57 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,767 Sweetie, calm down. Have a glass of water. 58 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,227 - Breathe. - Okay, okay. 59 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,021 You're right. It's fine. 60 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,280 Dad? 61 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,366 Right, water. I came in here for water. 62 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,371 Fucking glass doesn't work! 63 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,005 Dad, what is happening? 64 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:36,758 Well, for the first time ever, Jerry accomplished something. 65 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,861 We should remember him this way, in case we lose him. 66 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,220 Lose him? 67 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,058 {\an7}Mutagenesis. Cellular transformation, 68 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,060 metastatic spread, rapidly accelerating 69 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,394 with a deadline of... 70 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,021 48 hours from now. 71 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,565 That's Easter. Unless it's next weekend? 72 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,002 - Doesn't anyone have a calendar app? - I have holidays turned off. 73 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,779 Oh, yeah, no, here it is. Google says it's this weekend. 74 00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,448 Well, I truly thought Easter was a zero holiday, 75 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,075 but, Jerry, you've been... 76 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,451 Easter Claused. 77 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,619 Oh, no. 78 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,205 - Wait. What? - Rick, that doesn't make sense. 79 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,832 The title of the movie is based on the pun of Santa's last name. 80 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,710 Did you understand what I meant? If so, then it made plenty of sense. 81 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:17,048 This is a mitogen deterrent. Should slow down the transformation. 82 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,259 Beth, you stay with Jerry. Morty, you're with me. 83 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,022 We're gonna Dan Brown that German necklace. 84 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,971 Hell, yeah! Easter adventure! 85 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,138 - Summer. - Daytona? 86 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,057 Exactly. Get shitfaced, go insane. 87 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,142 Here's a fake ID and a second alcohol stomach. 88 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,954 I want you to do some molly and throw up in a pool. 89 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,622 - No. Don't. - I fuckin' love you, Grandpa Rick. 90 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,440 Come on, Morty, to the Alps! Let's Indiana Jones! 91 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,531 Ah. Recent thaw. 92 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,783 This altitude should be permafrost. 93 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,035 God, I do not wanna say "climate change" on this show. 94 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,559 I don't know which way Zaslav voted. 95 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,456 You think that giant rabbit unfroze because of SUVs 96 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,334 and... cigarettes? 97 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,962 Yes, Morty, it unfroze because of cigarettes. 98 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,339 You ever see Iceman, Morty? '80s flick? Timothy Hutton? 99 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,466 The '80s were forever ago, Rick. 100 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,676 Encino Man? 101 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:02,802 - You're old. - You're old. 102 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,196 - Fuck you, Morty. - Fuck you, Rick! 103 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,638 Eh, fuck you! You're old and gay. 104 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,348 You can't say that anymore! 105 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,226 Let's see if the locals know anything. 106 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,315 Whoa, check out this Wicker Man-looking place. 107 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,737 German Easter is a little less chocolate-centric. 108 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,300 Say what you want about America, but we get a few things right. 109 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,169 Whoa. It's a big Easter egg. 110 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,962 Looks like it's from Andromeda. 111 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:41,257 Why would aliens care about a holiday we don't even care about? 112 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,926 I don't know, but we're not the only ones looking for answers. 113 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,094 Check out these nerds. 114 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,016 Space Christians? 115 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,934 Isn't that a conflict of interest? 116 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,686 Hey, don't scan me. I'll scan you. 117 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,521 Easter Rabbit DNA. 118 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,148 He's clearly made contact with it. 119 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,108 My scan says you shit standing up. 120 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,943 Says it gets on your legs. 121 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,153 Where is the rabbit? 122 00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:04,280 Oh, a cross gun. That's dumb. 123 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,740 Nobody needs to get hurt. 124 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:06,949 I'm sure I'll be fine. 125 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,090 Aren't you guys on Easter's side? 126 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,674 What the hell is happening?! 127 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,640 The egg is damaged. 128 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,850 But now we know where it's from. 129 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,812 Andromeda! 130 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,940 Go there and destroy all the containment eggs except one. 131 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,942 We'll capture the rabbit here... 132 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,821 and then Easter will be finished. 133 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,955 They got the egg. How will we know where to go? 134 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,790 Morty, it's one word. We just said it. 135 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,125 Andromeda. 136 00:06:57,208 --> 00:07:00,086 Alright! To Amadahbra! 137 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,673 Are you... Are you messing with me? 138 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,050 Beth, please let me out. 139 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,177 Rick put you in there for a reason, sweetie. 140 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,596 I feel fine! I need to pee. 141 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:15,393 I just want... five minutes... to stretch my legs! 142 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,146 Whoa. Your arms. 143 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,398 I know! They ripped through my shirt! 144 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,067 I'm telling you, I feel amazing. 145 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,485 Like, I feel like I could... 146 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,614 Holy shit. I feel so shallow for how turned on I am. 147 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,450 See? I'm solid. 148 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,827 And so are you. 149 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,495 - Oh. - Have I ever told you 150 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,414 you're the hottest woman I could imagine? 151 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,833 Am I this easy? I think I'm this easy. 152 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,335 I don't tell you enough. I don't see you. 153 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,753 But I see you now. 154 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,297 Or as the Na'vi put it... 155 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,386 We gotta wash these sheets. 156 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,388 How about one more go before they dry? 157 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,309 Jesus! 158 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,393 - What? - What?! 159 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,479 Jerry, you've got a boil on your back, 160 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,355 and there's hair inside it! 161 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,815 I'm sorry, just... 162 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,401 I cwath thu fwack you. 163 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,028 Jerry? Your tooth. 164 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:10,323 Would you look at that? 165 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:11,741 Oh, there's another one. 166 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,950 Oh! 167 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,455 My mouth feels weird in the middle. 168 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,623 Okay, back in the prism. 169 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,750 No! So what? 170 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,252 A few teeth fell out while we wait for Rick to get back. 171 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,879 Why is that such a big deal... 172 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,547 Jerry! 173 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,258 My legs! Oh, my God, my legs! 174 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,593 They're broken! 175 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,970 Wait, they're... they're fine! 176 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,388 Better than fine. 177 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,474 Wow! Look at this, babe. Look! 178 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,477 Just calm down. We'll get you more lettuce. 179 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,121 Why are you being such a drag about this? 180 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,439 - You're scaring me. - And you're bumming me out. 181 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,400 If you're gonna be such a prude, I'm getting out of here. 182 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,362 Jerry! Jerry, come back! 183 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,870 Rick, are we in the right place? 184 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:58,955 Yeah. 185 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,207 Trying to work out the big mythology here, 186 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,501 and all I'm getting is H.R. Giger meets Coachella. 187 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:07,046 Okay, Rick, so it looks like there's a space oyster, 188 00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,131 and it hypnotizes animals with its pearl... 189 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,425 - No. Stop. Stop. - I was just makin' a hypothesis! 190 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,052 You know, trying out some science? 191 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,178 Here's science. 192 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,638 The Easter Rabbit's an alien. 193 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,098 They send it to planets in an egg. 194 00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,367 If you kill it, you become it. 195 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,059 Okay. Well, explain this, then. 196 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,186 Easy. 197 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,397 The rabbit is some kind of pheromonal catalyst. 198 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,065 Looks like it makes everyone have sex 199 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,401 until the planet gets overpopulated and collapses. 200 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,861 It's fuck-based terraforming! 201 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,238 Shit! Duck! 202 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,991 Whoa, Rick, do you see that? 203 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,077 Yeah. It has a butt where its dick should be. 204 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,203 - Rick. - Morty. 205 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,163 Its butt is in the front. 206 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,002 These must be the guys who move in after the rabbit's done its stuff. 207 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,170 Have you seen any of them turn around yet? 208 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,755 - Is it in the back? - Stop it. 209 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,230 - Prepare to meet your maker! - Huh? 210 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,820 Christ guys hate the bald guys? 211 00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:14,614 What is the lore? Who do we help? 212 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,994 Neither! We're gonna third party! 213 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,913 He's going for the last egg! 214 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,498 Stop the dentist! 215 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:26,834 Shit! 216 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,431 How are we getting off this planet, Rick? 217 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,891 Same way they do. 218 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,393 - Son of a bitch. - Those are ships? 219 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,896 Oh, I've seen this on TV. 220 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,439 - They're on Earth! - Yep. 221 00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,191 On Easter Island. 222 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,276 Suppose that might've been a good place to start. 223 00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,910 Sir... mission successful. 224 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,495 We didn't get an egg. 225 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,206 The old man and his young son escaped with it. 226 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,917 Why did you say "mission successful," then? 227 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,670 I don't know. I'm dying. 228 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,630 Kinda wanted to go out on a high... 229 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,423 He was here. 230 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,593 Now... where did he go? 231 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,945 Can't believe you're here after that motorcycle accident 232 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,780 you clearly just walked away from. 233 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,824 Yeah, buddy. I respect you. 234 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,451 You respect me enough to have sex with that guy? 235 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,664 What? No! 236 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,710 But maybe I could give him a little smooch. 237 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,337 Whoa, what's going on? 238 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,214 Have sex with someone! 239 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,633 How 'bout a dry hump instead? 240 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,926 Good enough. 241 00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,136 Oh, yeah. 242 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,679 Powers growing. 243 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,641 Societal collapse imminent! 244 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,941 Oh, yeah. Oh. 245 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,402 Freeze, abomination! 246 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,987 No! No! 247 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,864 Must collapse society! 248 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,992 Not today, cupcake. 249 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,004 Ah, Rick! 250 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,970 I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here. 251 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,973 Christrooper General Reinhard Kincaid. 252 00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,517 The truth is, we both want the same thing. 253 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,019 We both want you to shut up? 254 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,396 Cute. Let me tell you a story. 255 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,442 My species does not like sex. 256 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,361 Is that... the whole story? 257 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,571 We think it's gross. 258 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,573 I don't like seeing it in movies or TV. 259 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,742 It upsets me when they reference it in pop songs. 260 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,744 - Wow. - 2,000 years ago, 261 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,663 we sent a Trooper here to kill your rabbit, 262 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,457 but Earth crucified him. 263 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,084 Whoa. That is not how we tell that story. 264 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,795 Look, you have the egg. 265 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,379 We have... 266 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,466 - Dad?! - Shut up. 267 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,802 Morty! 268 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,096 He's gonna break through! 269 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,691 Holy shit. 270 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,324 Jerry, you in there? 271 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,827 Come on, let's get you home and un-Easter-Clause you. 272 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,287 There is no Jerry. 273 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,331 Only Bunny. 274 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,415 Kiss. 275 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,334 - Gross, dude. - Dad! We saw the murals. 276 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,896 You don't think the first thing we would do is inoculate ourselves? 277 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,004 Yeah, this is a low. 278 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:02,466 Sex! 279 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,057 Have baby. 280 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,935 Cram penis. 281 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,938 Spill juice. 282 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:20,693 Time to make fuck! 283 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,282 Beth! 284 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,040 Jerry? 285 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:41,714 Jerry! I want to have sex with you, not this. 286 00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,135 Jerry monster? 287 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,636 No! 288 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,638 So sorry. 289 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,558 I'm sorry, Beth. 290 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,810 What have I become? 291 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:55,936 It's okay. 292 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,273 You just wanted to celebrate a holiday with your family. 293 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,358 Now you know never to do that again. 294 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,986 Get back! Can't control it! 295 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,362 I know what to do. 296 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,923 Anyway, that's the whole plot of Alien: Prometheus. 297 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,925 Wow! Sounds memorable! 298 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,927 How'd we even start talking about that? 299 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,130 I don't know, Morty. Sometimes I just get on tangents. 300 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,766 You think you've won. 301 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:37,353 But we sent our best man, and he couldn't do the job. 302 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:40,314 Do you truly think you're better than the Christ? 303 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,316 Ugh. This guy doesn't even die when he's dead. 304 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,319 Your planet will be, how do you say it, 305 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,446 fucked out. 306 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,288 Okay, now he's dead. 307 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,875 He's sleeping. 308 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,669 Do we... need to kill him? 309 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,296 We can go. He's on an island without legs. 310 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:10,636 Morty, remind me to delete the Ring cams after this. 311 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,238 It's like that thing you told me about, 312 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,306 - the rat thing. - Rat thing? 313 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,517 You told me once about an experiment with rats. 314 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,061 When I was "wasting time brushing my hair." 315 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,689 Rat utopia! Morty! It's exactly like that. 316 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,399 That's... You did science! 317 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,942 Good job. Nice little mini-arc. 318 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,153 And all it took was a trip to Amadahbra! 319 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,322 He's in the garage. 320 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,949 And unless you guys just jerked around 321 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,118 for the last 48 hours, you know how to fix this. 322 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,470 - He's my grandson! - We didn't jerk anything! 323 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,578 I made a vaccine. 324 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,624 Can't... hold it... in! 325 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,216 Thank God we already had sex. 326 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,427 When he was a person! 327 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,910 Alright, I'm gonna extract the rabbit particles into this egg 328 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,180 without killing Jerry. 329 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,516 Do not touch the beam or you'll become the bunny. 330 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,476 And I'm guessing it'll be fast, because it's... 331 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,936 Easter. 332 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:05,733 What now?! 333 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,279 Ooh! It's a butt guy! 334 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,989 Morty, I saw his back part! He's got a... 335 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,115 Rick, there's no time! 336 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,247 Shit! 337 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,465 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! 338 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,632 Mom! 339 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,349 God, I hate Easter! 340 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,482 Beth, are you okay?! 341 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,317 - Jerry. - I'm so sorry! 342 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,158 I have to fix this. 343 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,250 Oh, fuck! Fuck! 344 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,503 It's in the butt guy! 345 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,430 Whoa! It's that guy! 346 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,807 How did you get here? 347 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,809 I took the big stone ship. 348 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,353 But I landed downtown, so then I took a bus. 349 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,021 Then I put the egg back in the splitter 350 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,457 after he dropped it in front of me 351 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,608 and patched the egg with a piece from that mosaic. 352 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,152 Then I used that to get the bunny out of the butt guy 353 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:36,281 into the egg, which you guys saw, and now we're in the present. 354 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,493 Everyone stopped having sex. 355 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:41,161 It's... it's beautiful. 356 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,871 You can keep the egg. We're done here. 357 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,414 What am I gonna do with this? 358 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,791 I don't know. Use it as art? 359 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,144 What do people do on your planet if they're not having sex? 360 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,586 I'm so glad you asked. 361 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,131 - We weren't actually asking. - Get off our lawn. 362 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,010 Alright, I can do it. 363 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:58,846 Just give me a moment. 364 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,640 - Turn away. - Who... 365 00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,017 - Who was that? - Honestly, Mom, don't ask. 366 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,978 The less we know about holidays the better. 367 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,647 Well said, son. Well said. 368 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,400 Deck the house with Easter baskets 369 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,153 Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, eggs 370 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,197 Plastic grass and chocolate rabbits 371 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,117 Fa-la-la-la-la, marshmallow bird 372 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,120 Easter is the time for giving 373 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,622 Fa-la-la-la-la-la, Easter milk 374 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,959 Something, something, basket, candy 375 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,420 Jerry makes an egg, and it is nice 376 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,715 Oh, presidents can have a birthday 377 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,467 Fa-la-la-la-la-la, celebrate 378 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,512 Burger King and do it your way 379 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,390 Fa-la-la-la-la, Whopper, Big Mac 380 00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:46,393 Some are loud and some are somber 381 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:48,937 Fa-la-la-la-la-la, different things 382 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,191 Corvettes and Hondas, Mr. Golf Cart 383 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,985 Everything's on sale, go to the store 384 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,279 Fa-la-la-la-la-la, spend 385 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,405 That should do it. 386 00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,658 I'm happy we did all the other religious holidays off-screen. 387 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:06,205 Wait, did we just live through a whole calendar year? 388 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,123 Is Summer still at spring break?! 389 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,752 You wanna do more poppers? 390 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,337 No, I'm tired. 391 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,796 How long have we been here? 392 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,798 I think it's December. 393 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,508 Spring break! 394 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,928 Sunblock! Trading sunblock for flip-flops! 395 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:23,305 We've got shots. Tequila shots! Vodka shots! 396 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:24,556 Tetanus shots! 397 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,809 Shit. Gotta go see Madison. 398 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,186 Do you have a tribute? 399 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,231 Madison! I've brought you this epic gram of mushrooms. 400 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,191 "Epic"? What are you, 30? 401 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:35,609 - Get the hell out of my tent. - No! 402 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,361 - What did you bring her? - Weed gummies, 403 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,695 and I found a PopSocket. 404 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:40,419 - Madison! I brought you a PopSocket! - Hey! 405 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,698 That's mine! Give it back! 406 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:42,991 Ugh, drama. 407 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,827 Exile them to the Best Western pool area. 408 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:49,248 Hold up. What's the story on that bracelet? 409 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,209 After I realized spring break only ends 410 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,502 if your parents pick you up, 411 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:56,213 I holed up with another forgotten girl I met. 412 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,466 Me and Brittany lived on Jell-O shots until her teeth fell out. 413 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:02,177 She didn't have a second stomach just for alcohol. 414 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,762 She didn't make it. 415 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,555 I wear her teeth to remember. 416 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,683 They're yours if you want 'em. 417 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,644 Tight. This girl is my new bestie. 418 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:13,480 - Hell yeah. - Let's do poppers! 419 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,649 Hell yeah. 420 00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:54,938 Debra. My love. I voyaged across the stars. 421 00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,816 And I've realized one thing above all others. 422 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,111 I want to make love to my wife. 423 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,238 What? Sex is gross. 424 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,531 Are you sure? 425 00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:06,116 It doesn't weird me out anymore. 426 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,826 I sort of got to see it up close. 427 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:10,996 You've been gone for 20 years. You came back in half. 428 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:12,080 What am I gonna fuck, 429 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,874 that bone that's sticking out of your body? 430 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,126 Also, what is that? I didn't ask for a big egg. 431 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:19,171 It's got an immortal bunny spirit in it. 432 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,923 - Does that turn you on? - No. Absolutely not. 433 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,468 Drag yourself somewhere else. 434 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,473 I have lived my life poorly. 435 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,476 Did you get any of that?31503

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