All language subtitles for BBC Inside The Secret World of Incels. BigJ0554

In an incident disturbingly reminiscent
of several ISIS -inspired terror

attacks.

News in Santa Barbara County, a gunman
went on a mass shooting. The driver

appearing to intentionally strike
victims on the sidewalk.

Deadly shooting at a Tallahassee yoga
studio.

Manassian was angry over being rebuffed
by women.

These young men often feel like they are
owed relationships and they're owed.

Sex.

The group name that you've probably
never heard of before, incels or

celibates.

So much fucking rage in my fucking body.

So angry, so hateful, so full of hatred
right now at this fucking worthless

piece of shit world.

Women are just evil, you know what I'm
saying? Women are evil, women are cruel,

women are mean, you know what I'm
saying?

I have no fucking anything that women
could like.

Nothing, nothing.

Unstoppable.

Let's have sex, baby.

What, you want to have sex with me?

Huh? Huh?

God damn it, man!

Elliot Rodger here.

Well, this is my last video.

It all has to come to this.

I'm 22 years old, and I'm still a
virgin.

I've never even kissed a girl.

I'm not allowed to enjoy life in this
world.

All because... I've been cast out.

No one likes me.

No one accepts me.

Those beautiful blonde girls should be
walking with me.

Not those brutes.

I deserve them more.

But girls are not necessarily attracted
to me.

There's a major problem with that.

A major problem.

That's a problem that I intend.

To rectify.

On the day of retribution, I am going to
enter the hottest sorority

house of UCSB.

I will slaughter every single spoiled,
stuck -up, blonde slut I

see inside there.

I'll take great pleasure in slaughtering
all of you.

as he drove by.

Gunshot victim in front of us.

And we got another gunshot victim at
South Island. Shots fired, shots fired.

And we

have

30 down on the corner of Segovia and go
north. I need three ambulance in here.

and I felt like, I just felt the wind
like pass right by my face and I was

what the, so I turned around and I
started like walking really fast the

way.

Two gunshot wounds, one in the back and
one in the arm.

Six of his students dead. The University
of California Santa Barbara community

is in mourning.

He attempted to get into one of the
sorority houses with a tremendous amount

ammunition.

Instead, out of frustration, he got in
his car, drove around the corner, and

my daughter.

She was walking with two of her friends,
and he opened fire.

If this guy had gotten into that
sorority house, the damage he would have

I mean, he would have cleaned it out. He
had enough weapons and enough guns to

clean out every one of them, and they
would have been defenseless.

My daughter paid the price.

So we like to believe that that wrong
place, wrong time scenario

helped save 50, 60 girls' lives.

So, you know, kind of a silver lining.

And, you know, when you're in our
position,

You look for these, you know, wherever
you can.

We lost our only daughter.

She had so much to give for this life,
and she was killed at 22.

Someone destroyed a quiet, peaceful
college town,

just created an uproar.

His main target was to target women, and
then after that, target guys who get

women.

I don't know where exactly he was aiming
for me, but I know that he was trying

to aim for people in the crotch, you
know, trying to shoot guys in the

which is pretty messed up.

He may have been sexually frustrated,
but again, how do you associate sexual

frustration and rejection to...

a ton of guns and weapons and
ammunitions and killing for people you

idea who they are.

I mean, how do you build up to an event
where you plan such an atrocious act

knowing it's purely random on people
that had nothing to do with you?

Had no action whatsoever.

They neither wronged you or bettered
you.

I've been researching online misogyny
for the past five years, and I've been

looking at the violent actions of Elliot
Rodger and incels for the past year

now. And we're going to consider, does
violence online lead

to violence offline? I've really started
looking at the potential for violence

to spill off screens and onto streets.

We live right now in the age of the hate
crime.

It's bubbling over. This hatred is
bubbling over.

Before Elliot Rodger, there were a
number of online misogynistic

communities operating.

But Elliot Rodger really flips the
switch.

from a community that is angry online
operating within the digital space to

a community that has the potential to
carry out real acts of violence.

Elliot Rodger then becomes a hero to the
incel movement. He's become

a poster boy. Some incels even call him
Saint Elliot.

R .I .P.

Elliot Rodger.

1991, 2014.

Welcome, Blackheim. Welcome,
Degenerates. Welcome, Mr. Artin.

Shout out to everybody that's here.

Maybe if Elliot Rodger wasn't bullied by
females,

none of that would have happened.

All that shit manifested.

And if these females are not treated in
these guys' respect, they're going to

kill, you know?

It's just how it is with life.

I kind of admired him and looked up to
him because, you know, how he was

struggling in a dating scene.

I'm the catfish man, a catfish female.

I'm a legend in the community. I'm a
hero.

I pose as a male model, a guy that's
good looking and attractive, and I try

set up dates.

I confront them, make videos, and I post
them online.

Should I just play the video right here?

Yeah.

Excuse me?

I'm for the male model, right?

It's adrenaline.

Boom, let's go. Boom, boom, boom. Let's
go in there. Let's do it.

You're so ugly.

What, you think you deserve them?

Huh? Fucking fat ass bitch.

Got catfish.

I don't think anybody could do it when
they don't know how to approach a female

or have that type of low inhibition.

Because he's good looking and you want
to get down with him. So, ooh, want to

fucking lick your pussy?

Do it. Do it.

You're mad because you guys got catfish,
bitch.

Do it.

I'm not driving nowhere.

This is her, you know, her own defense
mechanism, her own aggression, because

the guy's not good -looking.

Ew, you're so fucking fat. Look at that
shit. I

wasn't a good -looking guy. She treated
me like shit, basically.

It just seems like it's not fair just
because, you know, just because the

good -looking, she's willing to have sex
with a guy.

You know, that's just not fair. I just
don't think that's fair, man.

You want to see another one?

I mean, can you ask me why did you...

meet up with the male model the banana
was good

wasn't it do it i'll knock it off

this is the part where i started
wrestling over the phone she didn't want

recorded that's what she was trying to
do see how some of the females get mad

because their chads weren't real see how
they they get so violent be defensive

And then I kind of fucked her hand. Get
the fuck away from me. Ooh, I got all

this on this fucking here. I just
started laughing, you know, maniacally.

started, you know, laughing at her,
basically.

Ha ha ha! You fucking shallow -ass
bitch!

Fucking got catfish, bitch!

Ha!

Huh?

Fucking bitch!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, shit!

Yeah, it's kind of like a victory for,
you know, the pencil community,

basically.

Well, this is basically like my
retribution in the sense, you know, all

girls that treated me like shit, all
those girls that attacked me, all those

girls that have rejected me, you know,
it's in a sense, you know, it makes me

feel, you know, it makes me feel good.

People will see those videos and look at
those videos and say that you're,

you're scaring the life out of those
women.

No, you know, I'm not killing on them.
I'm just, you know, exposing them. You

know, they're upset because they're
getting exposed.

You know, they're scared because, you
know, somebody found out, you know, they

confronted them who they are.

So, no, I don't really care.

Does it look better? The hat looks more
fitted?

Here's a picture that I use of the guy.

See, this is the profile.

And this is the... See, this is some of
his pictures on here. So he's taking a

selfie, drinking some tea, or, you know,
doing normal things that normal guys do

to make it look, you know, real.

First off, he's white, so it's a plus.
For females, he's white, so he's going

get more matches.

He has nice hair, like this one.

It's his eye area, his facial features,
the structure that he has.

Nice, defined jawline.

803 matches off this single profile.

If I start swiping, he's going to get
100 % swipe, swipe, swipe, match, match,

match. So willing to give the numbers
out because he's a good -looking guy.

I mean, a guy that's good -looking, he
doesn't even have to go approach

He could just have it covered at home.
It's like a checkout dinner.

He's like a lion.

It's just his prey.

You know, if I was a good -looking guy,
I would just have all these girls come

to my house every fucking hour.

It's that simple, man. It's not that
hard. It's not rocket science.

Do you feel entitled?

No, I don't feel entitled, but, you
know, these types of women are, you

are ignoring you, and you try to talk to
them, and you try for their numbers,

you know.

And they reject you.

It makes me feel inferior. It makes me
feel like I'm not good enough for this

female. You know, it makes me just want
to give up because there's no point.

Well, it is sad. It's sad.

This is it.

This is the reality we have to face as
guys.

Lauren sent me a message.

She said I look like a celebrity.

And I'm going to write thanks for...

The compliments.

Then I go on to the next one.

And I just talked to her a little dirty,
saying her neck looks yummy.

And she laughed and she liked it.

That's it.

Pretty much it. Easy as that.

That's it. I wait. It's a waiting game.

I kind of like Chet.

It's her turn now.

It's her move.

Hopefully, you know, reel him in. Reel
him in.

And then they take the bait, you know,
snag him in, and, you know, hopefully I

get to confront her.

That's it.

Easy as ABC.

One, two, three.

I wouldn't have been here catfishing
these females if it wasn't for Elliot

Rodger. In a way, you know, I kind of
admired him.

Elliot Rodger, he did a shooting
rampage.

He wanted, you know, a girlfriend, but
he couldn't get one. So he decided, you

know, that that was his only choice.
That was his only choice to do the

you know, the kill.

Do you think people would be thirsty?

Well, it depends.

I mean, I don't know.

Maybe the girls that he killed probably
did deserve it because they seemed

probably shallow and stuck up.

I mean, I'd rather capture females
instead of shooting them or whatever.

People have their own ideas.

It's a misogynist mindset.

You're not born with the hatred until
you feel it as a person.

Hey, hush pineapple.

You're fine.

We're not all rampant misogynists.

We're not all Elliot Rodger worshipers.
You can be an incel without being a

woman hater.

Are all your emotional needs being met
right now?

I'm sorry, I'm not... I know you want
everyone to love you, but there's other

dogs, too.

Let's go, Cunoo. Come on, Cunoo. Come
on. I know, I know.

Incel is a funny little word. It means
involuntarily celibate, but the agreed

-upon definition is someone who is
currently undergoing a period of

that is at least six months long.

That does not mean that you're a
misogynist. It doesn't mean that you

anxiety. It doesn't mean that you're
mentally unwell or that there is

wrong with you.

I bet you that one is going to...
probably like between Liberty

and Manhattan.

I almost forgot the name of all that.

In New York, it can be very hit or miss.

My dating experience has not been
successful so far.

As far as personally it goes, it almost
feels like

everyone's waiting for something better
to come along.

There are a large number of people who
are incels who are just maybe shy with

approaching women or maybe just have a
hard time getting a date.

There was recently a study released on
Tinder that essentially the findings of

it were 80 % of men were just
undesirable to the female population.

And so now there's a large growing
frustration of realizing of, well, if

in the top 20%, then there's no reason
in me even trying in the first place.

I know. I know life's unbearable, but
that's for all of us. We must soldier

Mm -hmm.

Got a soldier on.

A very common sentiment with incels, I
feel, is general isolation,

maybe anxiety in social settings, maybe
depressed behavior, that whole feeling

that you were on the outside of the
group.

Whenever I see couples walking about.

I'm happy for them, but at the same
time, I'm also just like, oh man, I am

alone. It hurts a little bit.

But at the same time, I can't let that
hurt be, you know, an excuse for me to

unkind to other people.

I'm a weary exile, singing a song of
loneliness.

Forums can definitely be very
supportive.

Having an online community to fall back
on or to go to is definitely a source of

comfort. There's forums for all
different kinds of incels.

In Celestan, compared to other forums,
there seems to be much less misogyny.

There's a lot less simply blaming women
for their lack of dating.

I'll check in on the forum as I'm just
scrolling through my timeline and see a

couple things pop up. I might drop in
and leave a like or a comment here and

there. I guess someone in Celestan is
going to start doing some vitamin

supplements coupled with fish oil.

So if it works for them, cool.

My main motivation for going on in
Celestan is just mainly seeing how

coping with their loneliness.

It's beneficial to me in the sense that

knowing that having dating problems,
that's completely normal.

Yep, just gonna show you, I guess you
could call it the darker side of forums.

Incel .is, they call themselves the
premier black pill incel forum.

The banner ad says, Silicon Wives Luxury
Sex Dolls Shop Now.

With more of the darker corners of the
incel community, it is

very common to see how misogynistic some
of these spaces can be.

Sanctioned rape is definitely something
that is talked about and discussed on

these forums.

And state -sponsored girlfriends, yeah.

Elliot Rodger definitely has been lifted
up to an icon by certain incels.

It's hard to tell of who's being genuine
and who's just trying to make really

bad satire, just trying to get a rise
out of someone.

It could be that members of these
communities are feeling so lost and

that they're going to lash out at the
world.

These forums can definitely be seen as a
potentially dangerous place.

as places of indoctrination.

I think that because they're not being
challenged, then they're going to start

developing a skewed worldview.

If they latch on to it and they start to
perpetuate it, then it is a very

slippery slope to acts of violence.

April 23rd, 2018, North Toronto.

Eight minutes of terror.

He turned left a little bit to hit the
lady on the sidewalk.

Ten people would die.

Eight were women.

Police arrested 25 -year -old Alec
Manassian, a

man with no criminal history.

This hit home for me. It's in my
hometown.

I was really shaken by it. I was really
upset by the event.

Some of them were university students,
so they would have been the same age as

my students.

It's just a lot of people.

It's a lot of women.

Count one, count two, count three.

Count four, count five, count six, count
seven, count eight.

Count nine, count ten.

This is all of the counts of first
-degree murder, so the individual is

named as soon as they become human
beings with

lives.

Yeah, it's really difficult.

Before getting in his van and killing
innocent people, Manassian posted this

Facebook. Let the incel rebellion begin.

What's chilling is that the inspiration
is Elliot Rodger.

The Elliot Rodger atrocity seems to have
inspired copycat killings. More

massacres of innocent people in the name
of hatred against women.

This is an example of the deification or
the martyrdom of these mass killers

within this community.

We have him say over and over again, I
want to kill so many fucking people.

It's an outright glorification of mass
killing.

It's really upsetting. You see this
content posted over and over and over

and this normalizes the violence.

You can really see how vulnerable
individuals get sucked into this and

that this is a community that I can
belong to.

I think it's really easy to look at the
incel community and say those

guys are totally obsessed with sex,
those guys feel entitled to sex, but

not as simple as that. It's not just
that they feel isolated by women, they

isolated by society in general.

I tell you what, if you grow up for
nearly 28 years and no one gives a fuck

about you, what do you think life's
going to do to you?

Ask.

Ask me.

Is this a recognized mental disorder?
Fuck, man. No matter what I do, no

where I go, nobody values my
contributions. Nobody respects me.

Nobody wants me around. I'm a fucking
reject everywhere.

I just...

I don't know what the fuck I have to do
to change that.

It's a living fucking nightmare that'll
never end.

That's how I can describe being a man
that women are not attracted to. It's a

living fucking nightmare that will never
fucking end.

I think there are a lot of people on the
forum who have mental health issues,

and I think that needs to be addressed.

Hugless virgin, that's what I am.

Why I'm incel?

I've never felt I was good enough for a
relationship.

I definitely had opportunities to lose
my virginity. I definitely had

opportunities to have a girlfriend, but
I was always paranoid.

I had paranoid problems. I had social
anxiety. I had mental health problems

stopped me and insecurities.

Looks max means, you know, you're trying
to improve your looks. You're trying to

maximize your looks.

So it's like part of attracting a
female, attracting a mate.

I used to want to be massive.

I thought I was too small. I thought I
was never good enough for a woman.

why I never approached a woman in my
life.

I thought I wasn't good enough. I wasn't
up to that standard. So, you know, I

didn't even bother approaching it. I
didn't think there was any point.

I used to be lazy. I used to lie down
and rot. That's what they call it in the

incel community.

I just closed myself off from the world
because I didn't like how I looked.

And obviously the more you lie down and
rot, the more depressed you get. So it's

like a vicious cycle. You have to break
that cycle.

I did take steroids because I thought
that's what women wanted. So I did it

because of women.

I've been off steroids for months, but
still I'm getting spots on my arms.

and about here and mainly on my chest
and back the chest is the worst in my

and this part of my face so take this
off you can see my chest was really bad

um you can see my shoulders um i have
hers grown worse and have hers grown

before as well a lot of incels would
have these issues like mental health

self -doubt social anxiety

I actually thought to myself, like, last
Valentine's Day, if I don't have a

girlfriend by this Valentine's Day, I
would kill myself.

You know, I was in a dark place then. It
wasn't the same mindset, but I was

trying to work on my mindset.

I had a troubled childhood. I didn't
have the best childhood, but, you know,

always the most traumatic moments stick
out to you.

It's just the right combination of bad
things happening to somebody that can

turn them into an end sale.

It's just a bad combination of things
coming together.

My parents were getting divorced and,
you know, there's a lot of arguing going

on. I just felt it was a threatening
environment.

You can blame your past, but there's
also, you have to take personal

responsibility as well and, you know, do
what you can, even with the courage you

have and with what experiences you have.

You know those feelings of suicide
infills can have because they're so

they're so desperate, they're so alone
and they can't relate to people, they

just feel hopeless and you get that
hopeless feeling, that hopeless feeling

the worst.

At my darkest point I wrote a song about
Elliot Rodger, yes, the Elliot Rodger

meme infill trap version 2, less
distortion and bass.

Yeah, this is the lyrics.

Riding through the city like Elliot
Rodger.

Can't stop me now.

Bitch, you ain't no bullet dodger.

I was trying to rhyme that. I was trying
to make a rap.

I was just trying to be creative, make
something creative. But for Edgy Shock

Valley, I don't know. Because I saw that
Iggy song about Alec Manessian that

inspired me. It's just like I'm...

is hitting his shoes doing a similar
thing yeah i suppose that is pretty bad

my nuts as i blow out your guts that's
just too much

do you see why that might be problematic

yeah but you know with entertainment
value it's not supposed to be taken

seriously it's i wouldn't do that now i
know

Hard to explain, but, you know, it's
like seeing in Game of Thrones people

getting their head cut off, or, you
know, that's not glorifying people

their head cut off, it's just
entertaining.

But that story, that's fiction. Yeah.
With real life, with real games.

That's true.

I see now why that's not good.

Yeah. I didn't consider enough.

There's a fine line, you have to find
that fine line, I know, and you can't

really cross it, I know.

Fine line between what, James?

you know, edgy humour and going too far
and having real world implications.

So, yeah.

Like influencing others to do hate
crimes or... Bad idea, I know.

Yeah,

you don't really think of that when
you're making a deal, that's it.

You don't think through those things.

True.

It wouldn't feel very good, bringing
that pain back for them.

I didn't think anybody cared, you know,
so you can go down that dark way, and

that path has nothing to lose, so I'll
just wreck everything and kill

Yeah, that's what Elliot Rodger did,
obviously.

So he went down that path of no one
cares, there's nothing to lose.

I'll never have a relationship, so I'll
kill everybody and kill myself.

That's the darkest path you can go down.

Yeah, so you need someone to step in and
show you the light.

Because you're locked in darkness, you
can't see.

If you have mental health problems, you
need to talk to somebody.

There's always hope.

You just have to look really hard
sometimes.

Or talk with people around you and get
help from them.

It does help to talk, definitely.

Even talking like this to a camera.

I went down that lonely path and, you
know, had no friends, had no

relationships.

You know, I reached the point where I
had nothing to lose, so I wanted to get

story out there.

Now I make YouTube videos. I talked
about it to the world.

I'm very open and honest with my mental
health problems.

You know, other people could relate to
that, and luckily enough, a lot of

did relate to that. I got a lot of
positive feedback.

Now I feel a lot better from opening up,
from venting, from getting all those

things off my chest that have been there
for years.

I feel so much better exposing myself.

I've been to that point and I can relate
to other people and that's why I relay

my story to other people so they can
hopefully help them out of that hole.

I'm kind of excited for the catfish.

Tomorrow.

I'm excited.

I want to meet the female at a fast food
joint where she thinks she's going on a

splendid date with this man.

The catfish man!

Oh my god.

The hero for the incels, basically.

When you talk to the catfish females and
you...

You upload it on the forums, they start
calling heroes.

I mean, I feel like it's way better than
sex.

Do you ever get sexual with your
texting?

But yeah, I send explicit pictures, you
know, of fake guys.

That's not even my dick.

Not even my penis.

If he's a white guy, I send a white
penis.

If he's a black man, I send a black
man's penis.

Do they ever send you... Yeah, they send
me all kinds of stuff.

Do they ever send you sexual pictures?
Yeah, they send me sex pictures all the

time, whenever I do it.

Like what?

Pussy pictures, vagina pictures,

breast pictures.

It's their videos of them seeing
themselves.

You know, they're a nasty little girl,
so they do nasty little things.

What do you do with those pictures?

I... I will...

I kind of, you know, I jack off to them.

But what I do is I confront them. What I
do is I take the pictures and I

confront them and be like, you know,
such a bad person. You're a horrible

person. Why are you sending this to this
man?

You shouldn't be doing this. That type
of thing.

Say it's not you that thinks this isn't
right.

Fuck the hell. Heck no. Heck no.

Why?

Why should I care what they feel?

What should I care? If they see me on
the street, they would ignore me or

me like a normal person. I don't care.

I'm exposing who they are as
individuals. I don't care. Honestly,

crap.

They're very bad people.

Very bad. Very, very horrible for them
to, you know, to do this type of thing.

But you're the one tricking them.

Of course. Why not? Of course. That's
why.

Doesn't that make you horrible?

No. Why would it make me horrible?

I don't care.

I'm not worried about hurting females.

I mean, I respect people, but I don't...
When it comes to females, I don't care.

I don't really care.

If women are not people?

No, they're not people.

Of course, if they're acting like
this... Why the hell are they people if

they're rejected men of base officer
looks?

I've been treated like that in my past
life, like garbage, so I don't care.

I was with my girlfriend for four years,
and we broke up.

I got a restraining order violation.

Why did you end up with a restraining
order?

Why did I end up with a restraining
order? Because, you know, we fought a

It was domestic violence.

Of course you didn't have that type of
restraining order.

I wasn't supposed to be around her, and
they put a piece of paper, no contact

order, and I still came close to her,
and we were together.

How do you say it? And then I got put
away for that.

Yeah, I'm going to the barbershop, my
local barbershop to get a haircut.

What's that?

I got blended in with an army not to
look incel.

That's the woman I'm meeting.

I asked if we were meeting at one o
'clock.

That's what she's saying.

We meeting at one.

That's the plan, yes.

And then said okay and I asked her what
she's wearing.

What do you got going on today, bro?

I'm going to meet up with a date. Nice.

That's a female.

Female, huh? Hell yeah.

Good stuff.

Oh, my God.

Where are you going to take her out?

McDonald's. Woo!

Woo!

All set.

There he is.

Ready to go.

There's his date.

How's that looking?

Looking fresh.

Time to leave.

Today's the day. Hopefully I'll meet the
girl.

I've been rejected over 100 times, 100
plus times.

100 rejections is a lot. It kind of
hurts.

She didn't turn up.

She didn't come.

Well, she wasted my time, basically.

They've outwitted you. They've outmasted
you.

They outwitted me in a sense.

Yes, they have. In a sense, they kind of
did.

Yeah, she didn't get me.

Yes, she did.

What's the plan now for you?

Probably stop catfishing.

I don't want to do it anymore.

Move on with my life. Focus on myself.

You know?

I mean, there's no point.

A lot of people think what you do is
really sad.

Well, hey, I'm spreading the awareness
and truth on how females are, you know.

lot of people are going to watch this
and think you're quite a sad individual.

Well, they're going to think whatever,
but you know what?

Because of this, I'm more happier.

After catfishing so many women, I was
able to understand who they are as

individuals, basically.

As a child, what did you feel?

I felt like lonely.

I felt like a lonely person. I felt, you
know, sadness when I was a child.

Because you didn't have anyone or why? I
don't know. I don't understand these

questions, man.

I mean, these questions, I feel like
they're stupid. I don't understand,

how, I don't, I don't think they're
stupid.

I don't know what they are, like.

Let's get down to it. It's basically, if
you had someone, some love around you.

No, man. Would you still be catfishing?

Uh, well, no, if I had a girlfriend, I
wouldn't be catfishing.

You know, if I had a girlfriend, I
wouldn't be doing this.

You know, or if females didn't treat me
like shit, I wouldn't be, you know,

doing this.

If I

keep practicing, they'll run away less
on me.

I have not been officially diagnosed,
but I have had several people tell me

I do have some slight characteristics
that are typical of people with

Asperger's.

I think that people who do have what
could be called a neurodivergent mindset

are very easily preyed upon by people
who want to indoctrinate them into their

ideology, some of them being the incel
ideology.

You need to get out of that echo
chamber.

You need to, you know, make connection
with the real world again.

I think it's a good thing just to
understand that feeling that level of

hopelessness and loss of, you know,
power and control and autonomy is a

thing to feel and you're not alone about
it.

I understand that there's a lot of
different people in the world. I'm not

to be a good fit for everyone out there.

I think it's important to kind of, you
know, at least put yourself out there in

the social atmosphere. Even if you don't
talk to anyone, at least you're in the

space. At least you're, you know,
somewhat engaging with people.

Life is hard. Life is pain. Life is
rejection.

But at the same time, I'm going to make
that choice to do what I can to be

happy, and I'm going to work on what I
can in order to feel fulfilled and

satisfied with my life.

Okay, hello and welcome back to these
daily vlogs.

Just want to say that I'm currently
talking to someone online and yeah, it's

going well and hopefully it works out. I
have a plan to meet up, you know, at

some point, probably in the summer.

I'm in a relationship for the first time
in my life.

Calling you now.

Hello?

Hello, sir. How are you today? How are
you doing?

Good. I'm good, yeah. How are you
feeling about meeting, sir?

Yeah, I'm looking forward to that too.

You know, fly out and, yeah, hold your
arms for the first time and,

yeah, holding hands together for the
first time.

So...

I'll just say bye for now, Sarah. You
know, I love you so much and can't wait

see you. Hope my flight goes all right
and hope I get there on time.

Yeah, looking forward to seeing you in
real life.

So, bye.

Love you.

All right, bye.

She's also a KHHV, which is the
kissless, hand -holdless, hugless

So she is the same as me, which is
great.

We both have never held hands with
anybody, we've never kissed anybody, so

be both our first time with that.

That's great for me because I want to
experience everything first time with

somebody that's also their first time
because it's more special, it has more

meaning that way.

I'm pretty sure there will be a
connection.

She feels like my soulmate, my one, so
that's what she said to me.

I'm hopeful and optimistic, obviously.

You know, that it worked out. Hopefully
we have a future together.

It is a chance to break free from
inceldom.

It's a chance to make a life.

If you showed up to a party and there
was one person outside of the group, she

would go to that person and bring them
in.

She included everyone. It did not matter
who you were.

The reality of our situation is
painfully simple.

Our daughter died because some
individual couldn't cope.

Just couldn't cope.

That's why she's dead.

And his parents missed it.

Anyone who was trying to help him missed
it. His friends missed it. Society

missed it.

And my daughter paid the price.

That's the bottom line.

If you want to stop this from happening
to other parents and other innocent

children, you need to get to the
individual.

You need to find a way to reach him and
help him and realize that suicide isn't

the way out.

Going out with a bang so you can make
the news.

This is the way out.

You have a substantive number of people
who are on the border, who feel

isolated, who feel left out, who are
looking for belonging, and then are

at risk of being sucked into the darker
side, the more violent side.

You know, it becomes a very slippery
slope.

I worry that it's very likely.

that we will see another attack in the
name of incel.

The police should be looking at this in
the same way they look at religious

extremism online.

And then at a more local level, we don't
have enough discussion around mental

health implications of our technological
culture.

We don't think about the fact that we
maybe have a vulnerable, isolated

individual.

who feels left out of the world, who's
just going to go down a web hole and not

come out.

We don't, as a community, try and bring
that person out.

I hope those that idolize this
individual, they'll see what the actions

to people.

They'll see how pointless all of this
really is.

Because if this individual had felt...

there were avenues for help, had felt
that there were people who were willing

help him understand rejection, failure,
frustration,

and help him through it, then my
daughter might still be here.

This guy who killed my daughter is gone.

He doesn't feel a damn thing.

Right? We feel it every day.

That's our reality now.