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1
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,963
Chris, hurry up. Here he comes.
2
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:25,695
I'm ready for him.
3
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,134
No time to talk. I gotta run.
4
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,138
- I'm going to need a...
-Paper?
5
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,367
- Oh, yeah. Also a...
-Coffee.
6
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,067
- Oh, thanks. And a...
-Cigarette.
7
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,203
Oh, hmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
8
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:40,542
I love Wednesdays.
It's so peaceful.
9
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,948
Yeah, I wish he'd give lectures
at the hospital
10
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,179
-every morning.
-Mmm. I'll be right back.
11
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,880
Okay, I'm going to take a look
at your toilet.
12
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,514
Why? There's nothing
wrong with it.
13
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,627
Well, I was trying to be polite.
I've gotta take a leak.
14
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,603
Be right there.
15
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,103
Oh!
16
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,208
It's not what it looks like.
17
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,951
Uh, I guess I'll have
to take your word for that.
18
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,985
Oh, you're blind. Oh, sorry.
19
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,921
No, I-l just meant
that I was in your way.
20
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,152
I was just trying to leave.
21
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,590
Oh, well, let me
get the door for you.
22
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,890
Oh, thanks, fella.
Have a good one.
23
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,489
Hey, you, too. Have a nice day.
24
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,660
What a nice guy.
25
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,846
I can't believe it. $346 gone.
26
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:44,949
Wow.
27
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:46,551
Kind of irresponsible,
don't you think?
28
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,811
I mean, leaving
the register alone...
29
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,045
Shut up, Bob!
30
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,846
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just...
31
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,617
I'm really upset about
the robbery.
32
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:54,919
That's all right.
33
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,459
Still, kind of irresponsible,
don't you think?
34
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,961
- Shut up, Bob!
-You know, Chris is right.
35
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,326
It's not her fault.
It's my fault.
36
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,456
I can't believe I let that guy
just walk right past me.
37
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,693
No, no, no, it's okay, Jake.
38
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,428
How could you know?
And besides, it's done.
39
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,163
No use getting all upset
over it now.
40
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,898
Gee, Chris,
under the circumstances,
41
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,007
you're being awfully calm.
42
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,770
I took a Xanax
the size of your head.
43
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,745
All righfy,
44
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,042
let's go over the facts
of the case one more time.
45
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,845
Oatmeal, hot cakes,
side of bacon...
46
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,715
Oops, wrong pad.
47
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,991
So, you say you were in the can
when this happened?
48
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:28,991
That's right, Officer.
49
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:29,992
I was nowhere near
the crime scene.
50
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,061
I was just in there.
51
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,891
Believe me,
it's a crime scene.
52
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,159
You were in the back?
53
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,790
So that means you
were the only one
54
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,095
out here with the robber?
55
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:39,135
That's right.
56
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:43,139
Ladies and gentlemen,
our eyewitness.
57
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:46,710
So, you're in your newsstand,
he enters...
58
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,144
Actually, uh, I was coming in
as he was leaving.
59
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,510
So he passed you on the way out?
60
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,914
Well, not exactly.
He, uh, bumped into me.
61
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,714
Did he say anything?
62
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,844
"Thank you."
63
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,719
For what?
64
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,883
Holding the door open for him.
65
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,088
You held the door for him?
66
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,562
It-it-it's okay, Jake.
You didn't know.
67
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,565
Did you say anything?
68
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,397
Um, just, uh...
69
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,632
"Have a nice day."
70
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,966
Aw, man!
71
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,740
Why didn't you just
drive him to the bank
72
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,037
and make the deposit for him?
73
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,272
You know, if the hospital
is going to invite me
74
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,905
to lecture students, the least
they can do is pay for parking.
75
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,745
A buck-fifty every 20 minutes.
76
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,752
I never talked
so fast in my life.
77
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,378
Wh-Wh-Where are my cigarettes?
78
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,546
The diner was robbed.
79
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,022
They cleaned out the register.
80
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,148
- You're kidding me!
-Yeah.
81
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:36,761
I had half a pack in there.
82
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,088
John, I lost $346!
83
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,495
Where'd you get
that kind of money?
84
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:43,726
Who'd you rob?
85
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,734
I had a good day yesterday.
86
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,736
Let's get to the crappy one
87
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,465
you're having today,
all right, ma'am?
88
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,598
Oh, yeah, look who it is.
I remember you.
89
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,938
Yeah, and-and I remember you.
90
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,376
Sissy doctor who got shot
at the gay bar.
91
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,743
Near the gay bar.
92
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,283
Potato, tomato...
93
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,317
I knew it.
94
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:02,511
What, you think I'm gay?
95
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:03,916
No, no, it just makes sense
96
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,682
that someone
would have shot you by now.
97
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,122
Oh... thanks very much.
98
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,454
What happened, anyway?
Someone break in?
99
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,426
No, the diner was open.
I was in the back.
100
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:12,529
And I was in the can.
101
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,632
So no one was watching
my cigarettes?
102
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,496
I was here, but, you know,
103
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,102
I guess that
really doesn't count.
104
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,466
You were in here with the guy?
What happened?
105
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,631
You're gonna love this.
106
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,572
He held the door for him
107
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,200
and told him
to have a nice day.
108
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,334
Aw, man!
109
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,571
Oh, no, will you guys
leave him alone?
110
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,942
He feels bad enough
he let the guy
111
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,606
just waltz out of here
with all my money.
112
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,344
But it's okay, Jake. Really.
113
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,886
Well, at least you know
you're looking for a smoker.
114
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,684
Mmm. Check for yellow fingers
and a raspy cough.
115
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,727
And I remember the guy
had a Bronx accent.
116
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,454
Well, there you go.
117
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,861
That, a set of fingerprints
and a signed confession--
118
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,228
I think we got this guy.
119
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,336
All righty-roo!
120
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,960
I think I got everything
I need to go on.
121
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,163
So you think you can catch him?
122
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,602
No, no, it's just
an expression cops use
123
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,333
to get out of the room.
See you, folks.
124
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,835
Ugh, I can't believe
this happened.
125
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,675
I can't believe
I let this happen.
126
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,306
Well, m-maybe it's a...
a good sign.
127
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:06,382
H ow?
128
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,917
Well, clearly this
is the last place
129
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,042
anyone would want to rob,
130
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,450
so maybe they're
finally finished.
131
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,251
You know, no more crime
in New York.
132
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,723
I mean, what could be
after this
133
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,021
on the list of places to rob?
134
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,130
Oh, dear God, my apartment!
135
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,262
Mr. Connelly,
what's bothering you?
136
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,874
I think I have a rash.
137
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,475
There's an itching
and a burning
138
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,100
and, uh, maybe some swelling.
139
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,211
All righty, let's take a look.
140
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,280
Well, it's not in a good place.
141
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:39,043
Never is.
142
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,914
It's under, uh...
it's under my, uh...
143
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,716
Yeah, unfortunately, there's
nothing I haven't seen before.
144
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:48,884
So, just take your pants off
and let's get this over with.
145
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,426
It's actually above the waist.
146
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,757
- All right, so take
your shirt off. -Higher.
147
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:56,197
Yeah, I charge by the minute.
You want to go again?
148
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,072
So you have a rash
and you're bald, huh?
149
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:07,771
Hi.
150
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,938
I'm Cliff, Capricorn Sales.
151
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,710
- I'm Linda, Capricorn rising.
152
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,841
Can I help you?
153
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,750
Uh, I'm here to have lunch
with Dr. Becker.
154
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,221
Really? Why?
155
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,351
Can I help you?
156
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,620
Oh, thanks, Margaret.
That'd be great.
157
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,321
Uh, hi. I'm Cliff Bennett
with Capricorn Sales.
158
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:28,296
I'm here to take Dr. Becker
to lunch.
159
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,833
Really? Why?
160
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,961
Could you just tell
the doctor I'm here?
161
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,096
Are you sure you didn't
get your dates mixed up?
162
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,674
Because you're not in my book.
163
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,242
- Is that your handwriting?
-Yes, it is.
164
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,868
And I would know
if the doctor had a lunch...
165
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,174
You know, handwriting
says a lot about a person.
166
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:46,045
Oh, really? What does mine say?
167
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:50,083
That you're sweet and stylish.
168
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,022
Where do you see that?
169
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:57,459
Right there... in your I's.
170
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,868
Wha... what else do you see?
171
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,838
Oh, that you're also
fun-loving and adventurous
172
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,705
and a little forgetful...
173
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,142
when it comes to writing down
appointments.
174
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,641
Well, I do love fun.
175
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,546
Well, it looks like
you're allergic to toupee glue.
176
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,818
I think I'd go topless
for a few weeks if I were you.
177
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,087
Out of the question.
I need my hair.
178
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,559
I can't make a living
without it.
179
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,131
Let me guess, what, male model?
180
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,358
No, I'm in real estate.
181
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,661
My picture's on bus benches
all over town.
182
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,603
Oh... right, right.
183
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,572
I've been sitting
on your face for years.
184
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,507
Ha... I'll be damned.
185
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,703
- John?
-Yeah?
186
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,313
There's a Cliff Bennett
from Capricorn Sales
187
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:50,813
-here to have lunch with you.
-Oh...
188
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,008
Yeah, no, not that salesman.
Just get rid of him.
189
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,709
Last time I went out
with one of those guys,
190
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,822
I-I bought 500 monogrammed
reflex hammers.
191
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:01,153
Yeah, I remember that Christmas.
192
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:06,190
Look, I need my toupee.
I'm a businessman.
193
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,798
People trust me with hair.
194
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,367
Nobody trusts you.
You sell real estate.
195
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,438
Oh, come on, Dr. Becker,
nobody knows I wear a toupee.
196
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,472
- Well...
-John, you're off the hook.
197
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:17,574
I'm having lunch with him.
198
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,472
Fine. Just don't buy anything.
199
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,843
I've been wanting
to do this for years.
200
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,429
It's all set up, Chris.
201
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,293
This security camera
should keep you safe.
202
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,627
All right, thanks a lot, Bob.
203
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:43,962
Yeah... Where-where are
the monitors?
204
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,262
Where-where are the wires here?
205
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,804
Oh, there aren't any. It's fake.
206
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,463
Well, what am I supposed to do,
207
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,132
hit people
over the head with it?
208
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,641
You'd have to hit them
pretty hard.
209
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,370
- It's made of cardboard.
-Oh...
210
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,503
- Hi.
- Hey.
211
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,138
Oh, is that the same kind
of bogus camera
212
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,477
you put up in our building?
213
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:00,846
Nah, this one's a little more
sophisticated.
214
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,885
It's got a silent alarm.
215
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,614
Hey, Jake. Where you been?
216
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:10,023
Just out.
Had some thinking to do.
217
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,254
What's the matter, buddy?
218
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,159
Yeah, you seem kind of down.
219
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,924
I don't know,
maybe it's the weather.
220
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,898
Or maybe it's the fact
that I practically
221
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,560
high-fived the robber
as he walked outwith your cash.
222
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,572
I get depressed when it rains.
223
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:29,338
With your life, it's the rain
that gets to you?
224
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,073
I'm lucky that way.
225
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,912
Jake, it's okay.
It is not your fault.
226
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,519
I mean, you don't understand.
227
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,588
I mean, when...
when I get up in the morning,
228
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,781
I think of myself
as just another guy.
229
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,291
You know, a guy with a job,
who... who has friends,
230
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,985
who... who likes music,
who goes out.
231
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,188
But every once in a while,
something will happen
232
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,061
to remind me that what I am,
before any of those things,
233
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,896
is blind.
234
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,867
I'm handicapped.
235
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:56,405
You don't know what that's like.
I mean, even at my best, I'm...
236
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,372
I'm still less
than everyone else.
237
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,034
- Jake, you know...
-No, please, please.
238
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,806
Come on, just...
just leave me alone.
239
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,168
Well, somebody's got
to say something to him.
240
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,860
It would probably mean more
coming from one of you,
241
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,062
since I don't know
him that well.
242
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,866
- That's true. We are
his best friends. -Yeah.
243
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,269
- Not it!
-Oh...
244
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,599
All right.
245
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,674
Look, Jake,
246
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,339
this wallowing around
in self-pity
247
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,473
makes me want to puke.
248
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,444
I think we sent in
the wrong guy.
249
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,681
But since it's you, you know,
250
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,416
I guess I ought to think
of something to say
251
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,617
to pick you up here.
252
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,318
Um...
253
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,162
Boy, I got nothing.
254
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,092
Uh, oh, wait, I...
All right, listen, here. Hey.
255
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,601
What a... what about you and me
going to a hockey game?
256
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:00,796
I'm really not feeling like it.
257
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,270
What-what is the matter
with you? What...?
258
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,533
What?
259
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,143
You invite a blind guy
to a hockey game?
260
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,371
What, so he can feel more lost,
more ridiculous,
261
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,707
more out of the loop?
262
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,247
Well, actually, I love hockey.
263
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,475
No, no, please, please,
you don't have
264
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,414
to try to make John
feel less stupid.
265
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,952
I mean, my God!
266
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:18,715
Why don't you offer to take him
to see the Grand Canyon
267
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,688
or-or the Painted Desert
or see Paris
268
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,121
from the top
of the Eiffel Tower?
269
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,488
You know, while you're at it,
270
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,357
why don't you ask him
how he feels about the fact
271
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,192
that he'll never be able
to look into his bride's eyes
272
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,697
on his wedding day,
273
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:32,633
or see the smile on the face
of his firstborn child?
274
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,000
Oh, God!
275
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,167
See what you did?
276
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,750
Dr. Becker, Margaret's
not back from lunch yet,
277
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,287
and I'm not tattling;
I'm just worried.
278
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,652
Okay, I'm tattling a little.
279
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:54,884
Yeah, well, I'm worried.
280
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,187
She went out
with that salesperson.
281
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,323
Oh, there you are.
282
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,433
Yeah, please tell me
you didn't buy anything.
283
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:07,300
Oh, relax. Cliff didn't even try
to sell me anything.
284
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,033
Oh, Cliff? So now you're on
a first-name basis?
285
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,666
Oh, he was
perfectly charming!
286
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,803
He took me to this cute
little Italian place.
287
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,642
We had a glass
of wine, we talked.
288
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,478
It was like visiting
with an old friend.
289
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:24,783
Margaret, you're blushing...
I think.
290
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,888
- Did he hit on you?
-No.
291
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:34,324
Well, his-his hand may have
brushed against mine
292
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,592
when I passed him the salt,
293
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,258
but I don't think
he was hitting on me.
294
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,733
If you ask me,
295
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:42,101
I think he wanted the salt
and a little sugar.
296
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,635
Oh, come on. He was just
trying to make a sale.
297
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,008
- How do you know?
-Because I know these guys.
298
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,548
They'd hit on a stapler
if it could place an order.
299
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,050
They-they lie,
they sweet-talk you,
300
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,346
they say anything they have to
301
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,784
until you give them
all your money.
302
00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:00,550
Fine, John.
He wasn't hitting on me.
303
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,092
He was just trying
to make a sale.
304
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,992
I mean, God forbid
after 20 years of marriage
305
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,030
somebody should pay me
a compliment,
306
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:10,998
like they like my blouse
or they find me charming.
307
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,365
As a matter of fact,
I married Lewis
308
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,201
just so I could never hear
another compliment again.
309
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,511
- I liked your blouse yesterday.
-Aah!
310
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,614
You're kidding me.
The one with the poodles?
311
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:29,845
Oh, I thought they were clouds.
Never mind.
312
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,587
You know, John, I'm-I'm really
not in the mood for hockey.
313
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,596
I think I'll just call a cab
and go home.
314
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,962
Oh, come on. At least
fake a little enthusiasm.
315
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,364
I really put myself out here.
316
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,937
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
It's all about you.
317
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,302
If it were about me,
I wouldn't be here with you.
318
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,967
Come on, man.
Let's have some fun.
319
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,136
Excuse me.
Would you pass the relish?
320
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,442
Thanks, fella. Have a good one.
321
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,313
Oh, my God, that-that voice.
322
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,977
- That was him.
-Who?
323
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,611
The guy you just passed
the relish to,
324
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,950
that's the guy
that robbed Chris.
325
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,581
- How do you know?
-Because that's what
326
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:08,920
he said to me at the diner.
327
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,550
"Pass the relish"?
328
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,790
No. He said, "Thanks, fella.
Have a good one."
329
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,662
There are, like,
a million people in New York.
330
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,632
What are the odds of running
into the right guy?
331
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:19,998
Hey, listen, John,
I know it may sound crazy,
332
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,366
but I could pick
his voice out anywhere.
333
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,566
Believe me, John, I recognize
people by their accents,
334
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,506
inflection, speech patterns.
335
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:27,633
All right, all right,
let's say it's him.
336
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:28,643
What do you want me to do?
337
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,644
Well, get a cop.
338
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:30,747
There aren't any around.
339
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,110
Well then,
make a citizen's arrest.
340
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:33,216
A citizen's arrest?
341
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:34,317
What do you think this is,
a movie?
342
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,249
That's not real.
343
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,481
Please, John, don't let him
get away, all right?
344
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,682
Listen, this is my last chance
to make things right.
345
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:43,089
The-the... People get away
with crimes every day.
346
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,627
Can't he be one of them?
347
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,458
Please.
348
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,661
Oh, all right.
349
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,269
Excuse me.
350
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,531
Hey, you want this?
351
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,697
Oh, yeah, thanks.
352
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,435
Um, look, I know this is
going to sound a little odd,
353
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:03,274
but I-l need to...
I need to arrest you.
354
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:05,441
What?
355
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,949
Yeah, yeah.
You're-you're under arrest.
356
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,610
You a COP?
357
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,346
No, I'm a doctor.
358
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,014
Well, I feel fine,
so get away from me.
359
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,683
Look, help me out here,
will you?
360
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,055
This is a little awkward.
361
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,686
You're under arrest for robbing
a diner in the Bronx.
362
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,026
What? I didn't rob any diner.
363
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,327
Yeah, you did!
364
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,993
My friend here says
he recognizes you.
365
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,366
The blind guy?
366
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,632
All right, so he can't see.
367
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,400
But he heard you say...
What did... what did you...?
368
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,976
You said, "Thanks, fella.
Have a good one."
369
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,772
Yeah, that.
See, that's the proof.
370
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,676
Now, I'm just going
to have to hold you here
371
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,009
until I can find a cop.
372
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,844
Oh, and by the way,
whatever you say
373
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,043
can and will be held
against you.
374
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,086
Oh, yeah? Up yours.
375
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,985
Yeah, like that. See, that's
gonna be held against you.
376
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,386
Yeah? Get out of my way.
377
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:48,514
No, hey, I'm serious.
Come back here!
378
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:49,752
- Hey, hey, hey!
-Hey, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa!
379
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,452
Hey, hey, hey!
380
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,187
What's your problem here,
buddy? Huh, pal?
381
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,298
- Jake?
-You want to...
382
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:56,695
Do you want to start
something, huh?
383
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,097
Fine, let's start something.
384
00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,897
Hey! Hey!
385
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,437
Police! Police!
386
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,268
Jake, help me out here,
will you?
387
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,846
So, like any good citizen,
388
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,713
you know,
I-l apprehended the guy.
389
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:17,321
Now, I don't like to use
the word "hero," you know,
390
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,616
but if other people think
it's appropriate, you know,
391
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,658
what am I going to do about it?
392
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,284
Dr. Becker,
what I don't understand is,
393
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,363
if this guy
was so much bigger than you,
394
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,124
how did you wrestle him
to the ground?
395
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,029
Well, Linda,
you-you'd be surprised
396
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,227
how much strength you have
when you really need it.
397
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,163
Where are we going
to get the strength
398
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,900
to listen to that story again?
399
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,040
Hello, Margaret.
400
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,308
Hello, Cliff.
401
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,712
Hi, there.
How are you today?
402
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,408
Linda, go make coffee.
403
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,917
I already made coffee.
404
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,679
Then go drink it.
405
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,151
Can I help you?
406
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,385
Well, I had such a good time
at lunch yesterday,
407
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,462
I thought maybe you'd like
to join me again today.
408
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,530
Sorry. Busy.
409
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,862
Oh, well, o-okay.
410
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,366
May-Maybe tomorrow.
411
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,367
Because you mentioned
you like Thai food, and I found
412
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,165
-a great Thai...
-Oh, why don't you just save it
413
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:10,968
for someone who's actually gonna
buy something from you?
414
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:12,303
Ex-Excuse me?
415
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,240
Oh, look, I know
you were just being nice
416
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,505
so you could make a sale.
417
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,842
Well, that's not gonna happen.
418
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,849
Do you really think
I would do that?
419
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,010
I mean, yes, I have
to take clients to lunch
420
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:24,314
and be nice to them,
421
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,820
but when we were together
yesterday,
422
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,619
that was the first time
in a long time
423
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,957
that I actually forgot
I had a job.
424
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,396
Well, let's say
I do believe you,
425
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,261
that you weren't trying
to make a sale.
426
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,959
Well, what was everything else?
427
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:40,661
I mean, what were
all the compliments?
428
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:46,334
Margaret, you're a beautiful,
charming, intelligent woman,
429
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,672
and I enjoyed
spending time with you.
430
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,544
But you must hear that
all the time.
431
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,921
Well, not all the time.
432
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,082
- Well, you should.
433
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:05,127
See? You're doing it again.
434
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,753
Are you hitting on me?
435
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,298
Hitting on you? No.
436
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,662
But only because you're married.
437
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,360
Yes, yes, I am.
438
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,664
I'm-I'm married to, uh...
439
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,501
Lewis.
440
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,673
Yes, Lewis.
441
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,612
Well, um, are you still
too busy to have lunch?
442
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,341
I mean, just as friends?
443
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:31,421
Well, a girl's got to eat.
444
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,159
And if it makes you
feel any better,
445
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,692
I'll even let you pay.
446
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,057
Oh, now, let's not get crazy.
447
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,898
Jake, it's just so amazing
the way you were able
448
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,237
to pick that guy out
by the sound of his voice.
449
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,039
Ah, thanks, Chris.
You-you know what they say,
450
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,374
"You lose one sense,
the other ones get stronger."
451
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,039
You're like a blind
superhero.
452
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:02,175
Yeah, Stevie Wonder Man.
453
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,116
I can't wait
to see the action figure.
454
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,815
You wind it up, and it walks
through a plate-glass window.
455
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,392
Hey, Bob,
456
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,654
you have no idea what it took
to bring this guy down.
457
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,889
You squirted mustard
in his face.
458
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,863
Spicy mustard.
459
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,490
Yeah, the neighborhood's
been getting a little rough.
460
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:18,829
I was going to get a stun gun,
461
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,266
but I think I'll just go
to the market
462
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,600
-and get a jar of Grey Poupon.
-Yeah.
463
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:23,866
Uh, you know what,
I better get going.
464
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,703
I got to get to the cleaners
before they close.
465
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:26,707
- Uh, hey, Jake?
-Yeah.
466
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,243
The bank is right on your way.
467
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:29,471
Would you make
this deposit for me?
468
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,047
Oh, well, yeah,
I-I'd be glad to.
469
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,513
And your money's safe with me.
470
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,549
I'm not worried.
I know it will be.
471
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:36,618
Uh, Jake, that's the...
472
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:37,743
The bathroom. Yes, I know.
473
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:38,947
The bank doesn't like it
474
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,955
when you pee
in the night-deposit slot.
475
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,220
Afternoon, ladies.
476
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,092
Oh, geez.
477
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:49,165
Well, well, well.
478
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,529
Heard about your little
citizen's arrest.
479
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,331
Glad you were safe
and used a condiment.
480
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,803
Get it?
481
00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:01,237
Ah, the hell with you people.
That killed down at the station.
482
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,813
You know, maybe if you spent
less time making jokes,
483
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,678
ordinary citizens wouldn't have
to do your job.
484
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:10,015
Ooh, easy there, Nancy.
485
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,214
You'd have a better point
if you'd caught the right guy.
486
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,688
What?
487
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,350
You "arrested" the wrong man.
488
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:17,961
You're lucky he didn't
press charges.
489
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,495
We caught the right guy
this morning
490
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:21,689
running out of a jewelry store
down the street.
491
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,528
Whew, pretty tough customer.
492
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,294
We didn't have any mustard.
493
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:28,894
We brought him down
with half a buttered bagel.
494
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,306
See you, folks.
495
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,309
Wow, you must feel ridiculous.
496
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,208
Hey, you know,
eventually that guy
497
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,837
would have committed some crime.
498
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,143
I just... pre-arrested him,
that's all.
499
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,650
Hey, was that Detective Borkow
I heard?
500
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,049
Was he here to thank us?
501
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:45,052
Not exactly.
502
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,520
Actually, he wanted to...
503
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:49,558
Yeah, he-he wanted to, uh...
uh, to thank you himself.
504
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,025
He came all the way down here
505
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,790
just to tell you how impressed
he was with you.
506
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,489
- Really?
-Yeah, yeah.
507
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:56,895
Yeah, I am, too, buddy.
508
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,730
Hey, wow, thanks a lot.
That-that means a lot to me.
509
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,339
All right, well,
I'm off to the bank.
510
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:03,940
I'll see you later.
511
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,112
That was nice of you.
512
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,304
What?
513
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:11,108
The way you let Jake
keep his pride.
514
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:12,739
No, no, no. I just didn't want
515
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,510
to hear him feeling sorry
for himself again.
516
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,381
Trust me. I did it for myself.
517
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,852
No, no, no.
518
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,320
You did it for him.
519
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,015
You're a good friend.
520
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,184
Following Jake to the bank?
521
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,454
Yeah.
He'll never know I'm there.
38000
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