All language subtitles for mnmn1 (19)

That's amazing.

So what else do you see
in my future?

I see there are many
in your family

who have lived to be very old.

Wow, that's so true.

My grandmother's 92.

And if he were still alive, my
great-grandfather would be 117.

So what do you see
about my love life?

Hunker down, folks.

We could be here for a while.

Well, according
to your passion line,

I see you involved
with many men.

Good, so nothing's gonna change.

Wait a second, where'd you say
the passion line was?

It's right below your
never-going-to-get-any line.

I see good things ahead.

You'd be wise to invest
in the future.

It will definitely bear fruit.

Oh, yeah?
Well, screw you, grandma!

Yeah, you can't give me
the finger

and hold on to the walker
at the same time, can you?!

That's my boss.

But look who I'm telling.

Hey, Becker, this is Ruby.

For five bucks,
she'll read your palm.

She's amazing!

Yeah, she told me I had
a really long life line.

Yeah, you're late for work.

She mention anything
about the unemployment line?

See ya.

Palm reader, huh?

Your parents must be so proud.

Actually, they're deceased.

Died of disappointment,
did they?

Sorry.

That's all right,
I see people like him every day.

And pity us,
we see him every day.

No, I mean it, come on, guys.
A palm reader?

You're not that stupid,
are you, Bob?

Okay, my turn.

- No, no, me, I'm next.
-No, me!

- Actually, I got to go...
- Aw.

...but I'll be back in the
neighborhood again tomorrow.

Okay, before you go,
is there anything special

I should do until you get back?

Do something about that rash.

Uh-oh. It's back.

Coffee to go.

Please don't tell me
you're part of that nonsense.

Are you kidding?

I'd never let anyone
read my palm

or tell my fortune
or any of that.

Finally, a voice of reason.

I don't want to know
what my future's gonna be.

What if it's bad?

If? Yeah, the grease
on the wall,

the bits of bacon in your hair.

If that's not a clue,
I don't know what is.

I know I'm late, Margaret,
but I have a really good excuse.

Okay, hit me.

Remember when I took the day off
because my grandfather died?

Which time?

The time he actually died.

Anyways, he left me some money.

So, this morning, I went to
the bank and took it all out,

because a palm reader named Ruby
told me to invest in the future.

And you're really
going to do it?

Exactly how much money
are we talking about?

Well, I was saving up
to buy a car,

but Ruby said,
if I invest the money,

it'll definitely bear fruit.

Now all I have to do

is find the right thing
to invest in.

Because some palm reader
told you to?

What am I supposed to do,

listen to a money manager
who's not even psychic?

Linda, investing
can be very tricky.

You really have
to do your homework.

Oh, you don't have to worry
about me, Margaret.

I'm going to be very careful
and do a lot of research.

Got it.

That's an ad for wrinkle cream.

Is that what you're
going to invest in?

Margaret, this is the cosmos.
We don't take it literally.

Okay, wrinkle cream

is for people who are out
in the sun a lot.

And there's lots of sun in...

Florida.

And what is Florida known for?

Not counting votes.

No, old people and fruit.

Now, fruit left out

in the sun
looks like old people,

but there's no money in that.

So it's got to be fruit.

Ruby said my investment
would bear fruit.

Wow, this just got weird.

Just now?

But what kind of fruit
is in Florida?

Oranges?

No, that's what
they want you to think.

I'm going with grapefruits.

Grapefruit,
grapefruit, grapefruit,

grapefruit, grapefruit,
grapefruit...

- Linda's stuck again.
-...grapefruit, grapefruit,

grapefruit, grapefruit,
grapefruit...

Got it!

Grapefruit International.

Wow, Ruby read my palm and
this company grows grapefruits,

ruby red grapefruits.

Perfect!

She talking about that weirdo
down at the diner?

Yeah, and apparently
she convinced Linda

to invest all of her money
in fruit.

- Huh.
-Can you believe it?

Oh, palm reading
is just so ridiculous.

Thank you. Finally somebody
who agrees with me.

It's all such a crock.

Tarot cards, numerology,

phrenology, the Bible,
astrology...

John...

I Said the Bible, didn't I?

And you were doing so well.

Ruby, you're amazing.

Wh-What else do you see?

Well, I see
you've had to overcome

a lot of obstacles in your life.

He's blind-- his life
is nothing but obstacles.

Come on, do me.

No, leave him alone.
She just started.

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Well, I see a nice,
long life line,

so you'll live
to be a ripe old age.

You'll also fall in love again.

In fact, many times.

You see any love for me
this weekend?

Sorry, it doesn't
work like that.

You see anything
for me this weekend?

No.

Where did she see that?

She wasn't looking
at your hand, Bob.

This is interesting.

I see pain in your life.

But it will soon disappear.

Wow. Now, does it say
exactly what kind...

Time's up! There's my money.
Do me. Do me.

I'm guessing that's not the
first time you've said that.

Oh, yeah,
the palm reader again.

Hey, Chris, you know
what else is fun?

You get a cup,
you put some coffee in it,

then sometime in the very
near future, give it to me.

What is your problem?

So what if somebody believes
in something you don't?

Why does it bother you so much?

Because I hang out here.

- It makes me a dumb-ass by proxy.
-Ugh.

Your sex line and your
money line run into each other.

Occasionally.

Occasionally?

Shut up.

What else do you see?

Well, I see a lot
of happiness in your life,

although not until a valued
friendship has been repaired.

Holy smokes. Which one?

Well, it doesn't say,
but I'm sure

the answer
will make itself clear to you.

That's amazing, Ruby!

How is that amazing?

She just told you
to figure it out for yourself.

So, John, why don't you let
Ruby read your palm.

You might learn something.

- Oh, please. -Yeah, Becker,
what are you, scared?

Don't force him.

If he's not interested,
that's okay.

Hey, you know what, John,
if it's the money,

- I'll pay the five bucks.
-It's not the money.

- It's always the money!
-It's always the money!

You said you don't believe
in any of this,

so, uh, what are you
so afraid of?

Oh. All right, fine.

I will let Ruby read my palm,

if for no other reason
than to show you all

this is a bunch of nonsense.

Come on, fork over
the five bucks.

Here.

All right, let's see.

Oh, my God.

I, uh, just remembered

there's someplace
I need to be.

Wh-Wh-What? What?
Wh-What are you...?

I'm sorry, I have to go.
Good-bye.

- No, no, what about...?
-Good-bye.

See, that's what I'm afraid of.

Hey, Margaret, could you
get in here a minute?

Sure. What do you need?

Well, th...

there are lots of reasons, uh,

the color might drain
from a woman's face,

causing her to run
from a room, right?

Were you on a date?

No, I wasn't on a date.
Just answer the damn question.

Well, maybe the woman
was anemic.

No, I already got that.

- What-what else?
-Uh,

maybe she had low blood sugar,

maybe she was pregnant,
maybe an anxiety attack.

That's all good. Thank you.

Or maybe she saw
something horrible

and it scared her to death.

No, no, no, no, that's not it.
Something else.

Well, why are you
asking me anyway?

You might need to know this.

I mean, what if something
horrible happened to me someday?

Then what would you do?

You mean before or after
the party?

Get out.

Go on, get out.

Well, this is a first.

You're working through lunch.

Please, Margaret, I didn't even
work through the morning.

I'm checking
my grapefruit stock.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

Well, yesterday it went
all the way up to 50,

but now look-- it's only at 25.

Oh, but you have
twice as many shares.

Your stock split.

That ridiculous system
of yours worked.

You mean that's good?

Yes, that's good.

It got so high, it had to split.

Boy, I know what that's like.

Hey, What's going on?

Why didn't you tell me
lunch was here?

Well, yours isn't.

Ming accidentally
left out your order.

They're sending it over.

Accidentally, my ass.

He hates it
when I use the coupons.

Guess what, Dr. Becker.

My grapefruit stock
went up and split.

That's a good thing.

And it's all because of Ruby.

She saw all of it
right in my hand.

That's ridiculous.
You can't tell the future

by looking at somebody's hand.

Look, I'm starving.

When is my lunch coming?

Relax.
Here, have a fortune cookie.

Oh, my God.

"Riches will soon be yours."

Ru by was right.

"You will share
in the fortune of a friend."

Oh, Linda!

"Your future is in your hands."

I'm a dead man.

- Hey, Jake.
-Hmm?

I've been thinking
about what Ruby told me--

you know, that a valued
friendship would be repaired.

Well, if it needs
to be repaired,

then there's obviously
a problem,

and since I don't have
a problem, it's got to be you.

Well, how do you know it's not
one of your other friends?

There's you
and my neighbor Carl.

He only wears socks, and he
thinks we were in 'Nam together.

Well, maybe it's him.
Maybe he's got the problem.

Nah, we get along great.

He thinks I took
a bullet for him.

So it's got to be you.

Well, Bob, I-l have no problem.

Sure, you do, and it's not good
to keep it bottled up.

Nothing's bottled up.

All I'm saying is that this
hidden animosity of yours

could wreck our friendship.

Listen, Bob,
there is no damn problem.

- Just drop it, okay?
-You see?

There it is, the animosity.

You do have
a problem with me,

and after all I've done for you.

What have you done for me?

Well, obviously nothing
you appreciate.

What was that all about?

I'm not sure,
although Ruby did say,

"A great pain will disappear."

- Yeah, and there he goes.
-Yeah.

And here comes another one.

Hey, guys, uh,
you wouldn't happen to know

where to find that...
that Ruby woman, do you?

I knew it.
That look on Ruby's face

when she looked at your palm

has got you really
freaked out, doesn't it?

Wha...?
Oh, no, no, no, not at all,

but I'll tell you, as a doctor,

I am a little
concerned for her.

Did you see
the way the color

drained out of her face?

She could be anemic
or low blood sugar,

something like that.

She actually needs
to be checked out,

which, you know,
I could do, as a doctor,

if I knew wh-where...
where to find her.

Hmm. Well, you know,
as a doctor, you're full of it.

Mmm. Yeah, you want to find her
'cause you're scared.

- Yeah, I am scared, for her.
- Ugh.

You know, that's okay--
I'd be scared, too.

I mean, the woman sees things.

She doesn't see things
any more than you do.

Yeah, but that look on her face,

I still can't get it
out of my mind.

If I were you, I'd want
to talk to Ruby, too.

You know, find out what she saw.

Yeah, well, I'm sure you would,
but, you know, I have something

that prevents me
from believing that crap.

Let's see, what is it?

Oh, yes, that's right,
an education.

Oh, here it comes.

Yeah, a Harvard education.

- Good call.
-Yeah.

Which is why I will never
need to consult

a palm reader, talk to a psychic
or pay any attention whatsoever

to a stupid fortune cookie.

No Harvard man would do that.

What do you know?

It's only Wednesday,
and it's already been

a four-Harvard week.

Margaret?

Need me to help you
fax something?

No, no, I-l just sent a copy

of, uh, Mrs. Mindetti's
liver panel over to Dr. Freeman.

You don't have to...

Oh, no wonder you're concerned
about her liver.

It grew fingers.

Oh, did I say "liver"?
No, I meant "hand."

I sent a copy of her hand
to Dr. Freeman.

Why? He's a liver specialist.

And she has liver spots
all over her hands.

What...?
Who's the doctor here, Margaret?

What's going on with you?

Oh... all right, all right.

I just got some very disturbing
news from Linda's palm reader.

- Y-You're kidding me.
-No...

I know, I know, I know, I know,
but she looked at my hand,

and then she said, "Oh, my God,"

and then made this...
this really scary face

and ran from the room.

I mean, it was like
she was looking

at some black abyss
of death and destruction.

So you're faxing her copies
of your hand?

No, come on, I did not waste
eight years at Harvard...

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Look, M-Margaret,
this is going to be

a very scientific,
controlled experiment.

I'm going to send
five copies of my hand

to five different palm readers.

Now, if there's
something to see,

they're all going to see it.

What?

Do you hear yourself?

You are the most skeptical
human being I know.

Yet some woman with a bandanna
and dangling earrings

looks at a crease in your hand,
and you freak out.

She was not wearing a bandanna.
You know something, you make...

Ruby is a genius.

I was walking by
the deli on the corner,

and in the window
there was a sign.

"Grapefruit, two for a dollar."

And right underneath it
was a sign for the lottery.

I'm telling you,
Margaret, it was a sign.

Actually two signs.
Go on, go on.

Well, what else could I do?

I cashed in my stock
and bought Lotto tickets,

thousands of them.

My God, Linda,
how much did you win?

$50.

And I've never won anything

in my whole life,
and it's all because of Ruby.

There you go, John.

Because of Ruby,

Linda turned her grandfather's
inheritance into $50.

- Is that who you are-- Linda?
-No, but...

Yeah, but you didn't see
Ruby's face, Margaret.

You didn't see her eyes.

You didn't see
the look she gave me

when she ran from the room.

I mean, what if I die, Margaret?
What if she...?

Ow.

I'm sorry, John, but if you go
over to Linda's side,

lam in this office
all by myself.

You're right, you're right.

L-I'm... I'm sorry.

M-Maybe I should
just take a walk.

You know, clear my head,
get some fresh air.

Maybe I can just step back
from this problem

and look at it clearly,
rationally, logically.

Madam Zora?

Yeah?

Oh, I'm sorry. Please...

Come in. Sit.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, um...

I don't really know
how this stuff works, but...

I saw your sign outside,

and I-I-I have a few
questions about my future.

I know.

What's your pleasure?

Tarot cards,
psychic reading, tea leaves?

No, your-your sign
said palm reading.

Ah, my specialty.

But first you need to relax
and pay me $20.

What? That's like four times

what the other palm reader
charged.

I know.

Fine. Here.

And now Madam Zora
will be able to unlock

the mysteries
you hold in your palm.

Interesting.

Zora!

Where the hell is my ointment?

In the medicine cabinet!

Sorry.

I see that your life line
doubles.

That is a sign of great vitality
and positive forces around you.

And your love line...

We're out of pretzels!

I'm working!
Eat the damn Fritos!

You know, is this a bad time?

L-I can come back.

Oh, no, he'll settle down
once he starts eating.

Ah, your money line.

I see success on many levels.

No, no, get to the bad stuff.

And then you'll fail.

Zora! Phone!

Who is it?

You're the psychic.
You tell me.

I can tell you where
that phone's gonna be

in about two minutes!

I'm so sor...

I knew that was going to happen.

- Jake?
-Yeah.

I made a decision.

Since our friendship
seems to be kaput,

I'm returning everything
I've ever borrowed.

Here's the ten bucks
from last week.

I didn't know you took this.

Damn!

And here's the Godfather DVD
I borrowed.

- I didn't loan you this.
-At the time, I thought

we were close enough
that I didn't have to ask.

And here's your TV remote.

L-I've been... I've been looking
all over for this.

Why in the world
would you take my TV remote?

I was trying to impress a girl.

Now, how's that
supposed to impress...?

You know what?
I don't care, I don't care.

But I was wrong when I said

there was nothing wrong
in our friendship.

There is something wrong--
you're stealing all my stuff.

Yeah, but now
we're talking about it.

If you had done that
in the first place,

we wouldn't be here right now.

All right. Fine. Whatever.

- I gotta go to the bank.
-I'll go with you.

I got your ATM card.

Ru by, you were right.

A valued friendship
has been repaired.

Yeah, but I still got that pain.

I don't think that one's
ever going away.

Oh, hi, Ruby.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

- Yes. Thank you.
-Okay.

All right.
I've never done this before

because I-I've always
been too afraid,

but I-l finally
worked up the courage,

and I'd like
to have my palm read.

Oh, great. I'd be glad to.

- What do you see?
-Well...

No, I can't, I can't.
I changed my mind.

No, okay, okay, I will.
Just-just... tell me.

Well...

Unless it's bad.
Then don't tell me.

Okay, maybe you could
just show me your pinkie

and we could ease into it.

Okay.

Uh, I'll-I'll...
I'll do it. Okay.

B-B-But hurry up
and get it over with.

It's just like
when I lost my virginity.

Uh, well, I see romance.

Well... well, I was married.

Is-is that the romance you see?

Oh, no, no, this is
definitely in the future.

Oh, well, that sounds good.

And I see a good,
long, healthy life.

Oh! Romance and health.

You know what?
Uh, I like to leave a party

while I'm still having fun,
so... so let's just stop here

before you tell me anything
I don't want to hear.

Uh, uh, can I... can I
get you anything else?

Just that coffee.

Okay, fine, just let me know.

Oh, my God, it's you.

Oh, hello.

How are you?

Yeah, you tell me.

- What did you see in my hand?
-What do you mean?

My hand. You looked at my hand,
and then you ran out of here.

Oh, that.
It was nothing, really.

It was something, though.
You saw something.

It was like,
the look on your face,

it was like you saw...

bad stuff.

Bad.

Can I level with you?

Oh, God. Here it comes.

All right, all right, all right.

You were right
about palm reading.

It's not serious.

It's just for fun,
harmless entertainment.

It means nothing.

I also do caricatures.

But...

you ran out of here.

What was that?

Oh, that was nothing.

I saw your watch
and realized I was late

for a birthday party
I was working out in Queens.

So, you didn't see anything?

No... no dark abyss?

Oh, please.

You're a smart guy.

Well, I-l did go to Harvard.

Then you should know.

It's just the lines
on your hand.

Means nothing.

Huh. Huh, that...

All right, then.

I'm okay.
Yeah.

Yeah, I was never really
concerned, you know.

I mean, th-this
palm reading's crap.

Oh, my God.

Oh!

Um, hello?

Uh, can you come out here,
please?

Yes?

Uh, could... could I

look at your hand one more time?

I just want to check
your love line again.

Oh, you... Okay.

Wh-What do you see?

Just be careful.

Be very careful.

Wham?

Be... be careful of what?

I knew this was a bad idea.