Original subtitles

Margaret, I'm going crazy. I can't remember what this is.

It's a pen, Linda.

I'm talking about this note on the calendar.

I drew a star on today's date,

and I can't remember what it's for.

- Oh, that. Linda... -At first, I thought

it was to remind me to read my horoscope,

but I remembered I don't believe in that hokey stuff

since I discovered numerology.

No, Linda, I put that star there.

It's to remind me that today is

my ten-year anniversary working here.

- You've been here ten years? -Mm-hmm.

God, Margaret, you should have drawn a teardrop.

I happen to like working here.

Oh, it's a good thing.

Then congratulations.

Should we get a cake, or should we all just leave early?

Dr. Becker doesn't like celebrations,

and I'd rather you not even bring it up in front of him.

I'm not gonna have to.

No one could be insensitive enough

to forget something like this.

Morning, John.

Yeah, yeah.

Gee, he hardly said anything.

That's kind of a gift, isn't it?

Oh, Margaret, I almost forgot,

uh, I finished those Medicare forms last night.

Come on back and get 'em, will you?

Medicare forms-- what a crappy cover-up.

I bet that's just a trick to get you to go back there

so he can surprise you with a gift.

What do you think it is?

Medicare forms.

Nothing special is happening today.

Well, he has to do something.

- I'm gonna go talk to him. -No!

If I've learned one thing in ten years,

it's that John Becker is not a gift giver.

Let it go.

Fine.

But I find it insulting that after all these years,

he couldn't give you so much as a lousy pen.

Here. Happy anniversary.

- Thank you. -You're welcome.

Besides, it's no big deal.

I mean, he didn't exactly throw a party when I started.

There's no reason for me to expect one now.

Look, you idiot, I'm not going to stay on hold forever.

I'm a very busy man.

There's absolutely no way I'm going to spend...

Yes, I'll hold.

Are you the doctor?

You scared the hell out of me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm here about the ad for the nurse's job.

What...? Oh, the ad. Uh, there is no job.

Oh, I don't believe it.

It took me two hours to get here all for nothing.

Yeah, well, life is a series of disappointments

ending in one really big one.

Look, I have been pounding the pavement all morning.

My feet are killing me.

Do you mind if I just rest for a minute?

Actually, I'm really b...

Help yourself. Yes, I'm still here!

What-- is this what you do?

Get on the line every five minutes

just to make sure I'm still on hold?

Yes, I'll hold.

Are you always this angry?

What? I'm not angry. I'm just pissed off.

So, um... is she experienced?

- Who? -The nurse you hired.

Yeah, I-l didn't hire a nurse. You weren't listening.

There is no job, all right?

Ah.

Would you like a drink?

No, I can't.

Alcoholic?

No. Job hunting.

Oh, well, when I was unemployed, all I wanted to do was drink.

Hey, finally, yes.

Look, this is John Becker over on Kaden Avenue.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, uh, you know the Rhodes Scholars

who moved me in here the other day?

Well, have them drag their knuckles back over here.

I'm moving out.

Yes, first thing in the morning.

Thank you.

I have a question.

If you just got here, why are you leaving?

You know, I got a better question.

There is no job. Why aren't you leaving?

Have you seen my cup? It's a little...

What am I asking you for?

Uh... are you... are you just gonna sit here?

If it's okay with you.

Oh.

Okay, so you came here looking for a job,

he's drinking, your feet are killing you

'cause of the ugly shoes.

I never told you my shoes were ugly.

Oh, I just assumed.

Anyway, there I was

sitting in his office feeling foolish

wondering why I didn't just get up and leave.

Excuse me. The phone's ringing.

Are you gonna get that?

Doctor's office... I think.

Ah, yes, he's around here somewhere, but...

Excuse me?

No, no, no, no, no. Maybe you should tell him.

Okay, I'll tell him.

Uh, excuse me.

You just got a message.

Hey, you know, I'm not even open.

I don't need anyone to answer the phones.

Yes, I know, but you...

Well, what's so hard to understand here?

You know, I thought I wanted a nurse,

I put an ad in the paper,

and then I changed my mind, all right?

Look, I'm just trying to tell you that...

Hey, yeah-- what are you doing, writing a book?

Look, I was living in Boston, working in research,

but it just wasn't doing it for me,

and plus, I had a little trouble with my marriage.

So I thought by coming down here

and taking over this practice it might give me a fresh start.

Then I realized I made a huge mistake.

Now, if it's all right with you,

I'm going to go back up to Boston

and try to save my marriage.

Yeah, but that's kind of what I'm trying to tell you.

Your wife called.

Sandra called?

Yes.

She said don't come back.

She wants a divorce.

Oh.

Say when.

- Hey, Jake. -Hmm?

I was cleaning out the kitchen, and I found all this stuff.

I figure it's Reggie's.

You think she'd want it?

Well, it depends. What is it?

Well, there's a food dehydrator.

Ah, right. The jerky bar.

What?

Yeah, she was going to add

a selection of dried meats to the menu.

- Nobody else had it. -So what happened?

Nobody else wanted it.

There are also some of her books.

Let's see... Looking for Mr. Right...

Who needs Mr. Right?

Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely.

God, Reggie was pathetic.

Let me see Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely.

So what else did you find, huh?

A ski boot, Huey Lewis cassette,

a little electric keyboard...

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute,

small one about this big?

- Yeah. -That's my keyboard.

Reggie said it was stolen. You know what?

She must have found it and forgot to tell me about it.

- Here, let me have it. -Here.

Hey, that's the song from my cell phone,

ring number four.

It's Beethoven.

No, Motorola.

Jake, you're very good. I'm impressed.

Actually, I was just faking it.

It's already programmed in.

Just like the rest of these cool sound effects.

Check it out.

Ah, that's really cool.

Well, I'd better go put this stuff away.

Boy, that brings back memories.

Sophomore year, couldn't get a student loan.

Ha! Never mind.

There you are.

Franklin, what are you doing here?

I mean, uh, you're my favorite tenant.

I was just about to, uh...

Get off your ass and fix my sink?

I've been after you for six weeks.

The drain is clogged.

I'm washing dishes in my bathtub.

Well, I, for one, applaud your ingenuity.

I'm getting a little pissed off here.

You're pissed off? I'm furious!

I've been working like hell to get that part you need.

Tell him, Jake.

Oh, he's working it all right.

- I just want it done. -Whoa, whoa.

You want it done?

I want it done.

But those jerks down at the sink... parts store

keep telling me your sink part is coming in,

but it never does.

I don't care what you have to do.

Fix my sink, or the next thing it'll be stuffed with is you.

I love this thing.

Damn, how did this happen?

The diner's my hideout

from those pain-in-the-ass tenants.

Somebody in the building

must have told them I hang out here, but who?

- Me. -You?

Yeah. Poor guy's got no water.

I saw him in the lobby. He told me he called you,

knocked on your door, paged you.

Of course he paged me. They all page me.

Well, didn't you answer him?

I don't have a pager!

That's my system.

I'm the invisible man.

When the tenants can't find me, it buys me time

so they fix it themselves or forget about it.

- Or die. -A regrettable option, but yes.

Why don't you do the job

you were hired to do and fix his sink?

I don't know how!

Bob, it's not that tough.

You get a pipe wrench, loosen the coupling,

snake out the trap and then replace the rubber gasket.

You have no idea how hot that sounds.

- Bob... -No, no.

Suddenly I'm getting an image of you

with a tool belt under Franklin's sink and...

Bob, I'm not doing your job for you.

Fine, fine. I'll do it myself.

Now that the tenants know where to find me,

I guess I don't have much choice.

Damn it. I had it so good.

They find out I don't know what the hell I'm doing,

I could lose the best job I've never done.

Margaret, I can't believe he's not doing anything.

This is your ten-year anniversary.

God only knows how often that happens.

So I go to park the car, right?

And the damn meter eats my quarter.

I try to call the city to report it,

and I can't find a pay phone.

So I go back to move my car,

I got a $55 ticket for an expired meter.

Why didn't you just use your cell phone?

Because it's not a weekend,

and I don't have any free Tuesday minutes.

Dr. Becker, do you know what today is?

Yeah, the day I was dreading yesterday.

Linda...

I got any messages?

Uh, no, you don't...

but I do.

My friend Annie called to apologize

for an argument we had.

Her message said, "Annie-very-sorry."

so?

I was just glad she apologized.

You might say that I was happy Annie-very-sorry.

Linda...

What the hell is she talking about?

I have no idea.

Think about it.

Annie... very...

Yeah, you know what, Linda?

For every hundred lives a doctor saves,

he gets to take one.

I have 99 saves.

What is wrong with you?

I asked you to just leave it alone.

I can't! It's not right!

I mean, if he's not going to buy you a gift

or take you to lunch, the least he could do is say,

"Happy Annie-very-sorry."

I can't believe you're still here.

I can't believe you're still here.

There-there is no job.

Why don't you just go?

You went to Harvard? Wow, that's a great school.

Yes, it is.

In fact, that's where I met my wife,

who just told me she's leaving me

for the guy who details her car.

So much for education.

Look, drinking that entire bottle of Scotch

-is not going to solve your problems. -I know that.

That's why I have another bottle in my office.

Now, why don't you just take your coat and your paper

and your feisty little can-do attitude

and just go.

Since I'm not going to see you again,

let-let me tell you something else:

Those shoes are not the least bit flattering.

So he threw you out of the office?

Yes, he did.

Well, where'd you wind up working?

Oh, right, sorry. I got caught up in the story.

So what happened?

He ran out, caught you and begged you to come back?

Sort of.

Oh, God.

What?

I thought about it, and I decided I'm hired.

You can't just hire yourself.

Well, nobody else around here has sense enough to do it.

Look...

I'm a nurse, and I need a job.

You're a doctor,

and you need to be doing something

to take your mind off the fact

that you are about to go through a painful and messy divorce.

And you think you're the answer to my problem?

That's the way I see it.

Wrong.

This is.

Look, I'm gonna go drink.

If you're here in a little while,

maybe I'll chase you around the desk.

You better hope you don't catch me.

No, wait, wait!

You're a doctor!

You have a God-given talent to heal people,

and it would be a sin to waste it.

Hey, Chris.

I wanted to say thanks.

I took your advice, and I went up

to Franklin's apartment and fixed his sink.

At first, I didn't know what I was doing,

but, you know, I took my time and I figured it out.

Thanks, Jake.

- I'm proud of you, Bob. -Yeah, me, too.

Suddenly, I got, like, this warm feeling,

like joy or confidence.

Almost as if I have a right to be alive.

- There you are! - Hey, Franklin,

you didn't need to come all the way over here just to thank me.

Thank you? My bathroom and bedroom

-are completely flooded. -What?

Yeah, the pipe you fixed exploded.

You have no idea how angry I am.

You're angry'? I'm furious'.

Hey, don't start that crap with me again.

The water got into my closet. Everything is ruined.

Jake, give it a rest, all right?

Yeah, really, enough.

What are you going to do about it, Bob?

All right, I'm not going to make any excuses.

I'm gonna be completely up front with you.

This is her fault.

How is this my fault?

Just take the hit. I'll make it up to you later.

My apartment has three inches of water.

There's rice growing in my living room.

Jake!

All right, look, Franklin, you win.

I'll do my job.

I'll mop up the water.

But all my stuff is ruined.

Well, make a list of everything that got damaged,

and I'll get the building to pay for it.

And-and don't forget your wife's stuff, too.

I noticed all those fancy dresses and high heels

in your closet when I was up there.

Hey, I-l didn't know you were married.

Wait a minute. That's right.

You're not married.

Whose clothes are those?

I, uh...

Well, they're not mine.

Besides, what are you doing snooping in my closet?

I don't think that's the most interesting question

on the table. Do you?

You know what?

Let's just forget the whole thing.

Stop it, already!

Hmm.

Franklin wears women's clothes,

so now I don't have to fix his sink.

Come to think of it,

I know lots of stuff about people in that building.

Who's stealing cable, who's sleeping with who,

who's growing dope on their fire escape.

I'll never have to do an honest day's work

for the rest of my life.

So what are you going to do, Bob, blackmail your tenants?

What about pride? What about that feeling

that you have the right to be alive?

Screw pride! This is power!

And don't you ask me to fix anything,

or I might tell people what I know about you.

Oh, you don't know anything about me.

Are you sure?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

That's all I had left.

What was that for?

Because you're so pathetic.

You're standing here alone in your coat and those shoes,

ready to walk out of here only to turn around

and come back in tomorrow beginning another ten years

working for the most ungrateful man in the world.

Well, good night.

Happy anniversary.

What the hell did you do?

I didn't ask you to do this.

Well, I had to get the office ready for business.

I set up the filing system.

I put a few chairs over there.

I even put a sign out front.

Yeah, I don't care if you put in a steam room and a gift shop.

We're not open for business.

And I figure we'll open around 9:00.

I'll get here around 8:30, make a fresh pot of coffee,

which, given the way you drink, I figure you might need.

What I need is for you to leave

so I can go back to my-- what was it you called it?--

oh, yeah, my sorry-ass,

broken-marriage cliché of a life.

I didn't say all that.

You were thinking it.

Excuse me.

Can you help me?

Oh, great. You didn't lock the door.

Are you okay?

I cut my head. I think I might need stitches.

What happened?

I went outside to take a bike ride,

but I forgot my helmet, so I yell up to my roommate

on the third floor to throw it down.

He did, and, well, it hit me right in the head.

My helmet hurt my head.

That's pretty ironic, huh?

What are you, a moron?

Haven't you heard of gravity?

Why didn't you just have him drop a brick on your head?

This is a doctor's office, right?

I don't know. Is this a doctor's office?

All right, fine.

L-I'll... I'll take care of him.

- Should he be drinking? -Hey, hey...

J-Just go on back there, right around the...

Uh, first room around the corner, exam room one.

Exam room one?

It was the first room. I took a shot.

Do you talk to all your patients like that?

I've been in research.

I haven't had any patients, just rats.

Well, in the future, leave customer relations to me,

and I'll leave the doctoring to you.

Yeah, look, there is no future.

I'm treating this one guy, and that's it.

And the diploma goes in my-my office, not the waiting room.

By the way, it's Margaret.

Huh?

My name. It's Margaret.

Whatever.

Margaret, could you come in here?

Oh, God, every day, the same thing.

Waits till I'm almost out of the door.

What is it? I was just about to leave.

Yeah, well, I'm done with these. You need to refile them.

Fine.

Oh, one more thing before you go.

You thought I forgot, didn't you?

I'd have put money on it.

- Sit down.

Look...

I know most people would make a big thing out of this,

but that's not me.

- Uh, it's just another day. -I know.

I don't like speeches or toasts.

- I know. -Or special occasions.

- I know. -All right, all right.

If you insist, fine.

Look...

You know I couldn't have done this without you.

And, well...

I know it, too.

Thank you, Margaret.

- Thank you, John. -Yeah.

Huh... what the hell.

Mmm.

Well, I'll never forget that first day.

I'm so glad I talked you into working here.

Ten years-- that's the longest relationship

I've ever had with any woman.

It probably helped that I got to go home every day.

Yeah.

Probably.

I suppose you're gonna want me to give you a raise.

Oh, no, that won't be necessary.

- Really? -I gave myself one.

H-How much?

Well, more than you would give me,

but less than I deserve.

No, really. How much?