Original subtitles

Thanks.

Anything else, jake?

No, thanks.

Still working on my eggs.

Right.

No problem.

Hi, there.

Would you mind if I handed out some flyers?

Well, as long as they're not for the diner down the street.

Although their free breakfast was really great.

No, this is for the fresh earth project.

We're sponsoring a rally about global warming.

Do you think you could help us get more heat in the men's room?

I'll bring that up at the rally.

It's Thursday night.

Well, out with the old, in with the new.

More coffee, reg.

The "fresh earth project"?

Aren't those the idiots trying to save wales?

What the hell are they saving wales from? Ireland?

Well, thanks a lot.

Hope to see you at the rally.

Oh... My... God.

Just came for a cigarette.

Pretend I'm not here.

I can do that.

Hi, there.

I'm from the fresh earth project

And we're sponsoring a rally...

Fresh earth?

What the hell are you doing in the bronx?

Well, sir, we feel... I know. I know.

You're trying to save the plant.

Trust me, there's nothing left worth saving.

Maybe you...

Don't tell me that I'm polluting the environment.

This is just tobacco and chemicals

Straight from god's green earth.

That okay with you, birkenstock?

Reggie: I'm sorry about him.

He just woke up on the wrong side of his ashtray.

About 30 years ago.

Well, it takes all kinds...

Unfortunately.

Hope to see you at the rally.

Excuse me.

Hi.

I'm bob.

Nice to meet you. I'm connie.

You know, the environment really is in a lot of trouble.

We all need to conserve energy.

Hey, bob's all about conserving energy.

It's true.

Once he sits down, he barely moves.

Well, nice meeting you.

Wow.

She takes my breath away.

If only.

I'm surprised you're interested

In a woman like that, bob.

Why? Because she's smart, interesting

And dedicated to a cause?

No, because she could pick you up over her head

And spike you like a football.

Yeah, she could, couldn't she?

Margaret, I looked

And I can't find my bracelet anywhere.

Where did you have it last?

If I knew where I had it last, I'd go there and get it.

That bracelet

Had a lot of sentimental value.

Gil stole it for me on our second anniversary.

I'm sure it'll turn up eventually.

Not if someone took it.

What kind of person

Would steal something from someone

Who got it from someone who loved them enough

To steal it for them in the first place?

You know what scares me?

I understood exactly what you just said.

Excuse me. I'm helen willakie.

I called earlier about getting my father in to see dr. Becker.

Oh, right. Dr. Lassandro faxed over his records.

Hi, I'm linda.

My father isn't able to speak.

He has als.

You know, lou gehrig's disease.

What happened? Did they share a can of soda or something?

No, you see...

Could you just tell the doctor we're here?

Sure. Mr. Willakie, you can go on back to room one.

It's down the hall and to the left.

If you need anything, holler.

Oh, right.

And I'll need you to fill out his paperwork.

You know, margaret, I had a thought.

Prove it.

I think that one of the patients stole my bracelet.

Oh, linda, I don't think that...

Like her.

Hey, you've been here all morning.

My gold bracelet was stolen.

Now, I'm not accusing you,

But if it should happen to appear

On this desk, I promise

There'll be no questions asked.

You done?

Yes. Good.

Sister teresa,

If you'd follow me back.

We can take those x-rays now.

Smooth.

Yeah, like my bracelet

Wouldn't go great with that big gold cross.

I see you were diagnosed eight months ago.

The other doctor tell you

Exactly how serious this disease is?

Yeah, the trouble with als is,

You never can tell exactly how fast

It's going to progress.

Let me ask you something.

How long ago did you start to lose the ability to speak?

One...

One month?

Lon...

Uh, one year?

Two...

Two years?

Tw... Uh, I'm sorry.

I'm not very good at this. Uh...

Uh, one... Less than two years.

Less than two years. But more...

A little... A little more than a year?

A little more than a year.

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted.

And you, you got to go through this what?

A hundred times a day?

Now, d-don't start.

Hey, you...

Do you know how to type?

Yeah.

I had a patient that had a stroke

And he had this machine that talked for him.

Whatever he typed into it, it would say.

No, you're right.

It's very expensive, but the insurance should cover that.

(laughing): Yeah... Right...

I know, they are cheap bastards

But you know what?

Let me... Let me handle this for you.

I have a way with people.

Linda!

Uh... I'm much better on the phone.

Reg, coffee to go, please.

Wow, nice big cell phone.

Having a conversation with the '80s?

Yeah, I've been on hold for the last 45 minutes

With that damn insurance company.

They think I'm going to hang up, but I will never hang up.

Are you still trying to get that guy, that talking computer thing?

Oh, yeah, right.

That is how this started.

You know what, uh, let me have your telephone, will you, please?

Watch this.

I'm about to beat the system.

Oh, no. Oh, god.

Not the system again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh...

Yeah, this is dr. John becker for mr. Saunders.

Yes, I know I'm holding on the other line.

And I know you think I'm going to hang up,

But I will never hang up.

I will stay on hold until I die!

What'd they say?

They said that that was their plan.

Well, it's not going to work.

They don't know

How little I have to live for.

Oh, my god.

Bob put on a tie.

What's going on, bob?

Nothing. Can't a guy get dressed up for no reason?

Hey, bob, thanks for offering

To hand out these fliers.

Oh... Oh...

Hi, connie.

You look nice.

Thanks.

And you smell great.

Real natural.

And by that, I don't mean french woman armpit natural.

Thank you.

That was bob making his move.

I sure hope he's got more than one.

So, I'll see you tonight at the rally?

Hey, anytime bob gets to learn about the environment

And charge his electric car, he's there.

You don't have an electric car.

Well, not a big one that you drive around.

(automated voice): You're tall, smart,

Good-looking, yet nobody gets you.

That's so true.

That's so sad.

Linda, this is called a lightwriter.

It's a very sophisticated piece of medical equipment.

Look what I can make it do.

(machine whistles)

Wow, that looks fancy.

Yeah.

And expensive.

Expensive enough that maybe

You paid for it by, oh, I don't know,

Pawning a gold bracelet?

My fault-- I started the conversation.

What do you want?

Oh, right. Mr. Willakie is here to see you.

Oh, hey.

How are you? Come on in.

Have a seat there.

Yeah, anywhere is good.

Well, here it is. Huh?

Yeah.

Now you can have a conversation.

You can go to the store by yourself.

You even get to talk on the phone. Look.

This button right here is like a doorbell.

You use it to get people's attention.

(rings like a doorbell)

Go ahead, try it out, mr. Willakie.

(automated voice): Call me joe.

Great. Joe it is.

It's all yours.

Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome.

(automated voice): You're tall, smart,

Good-looking, yet nobody gets you.

My assistant must have been playing around with it.

Oh, john, I have mr. Willakie's paperwork.

Oh, great.

Uh, sign right here,

And I'll have you on your way.

Shoot, I thought I...

Margaret, is that my gold pen?

Oh, right.

You left it in the exam room.

I must have picked it up by accident.

"by accident."

Interesting.

Good luck with it, joe.

See you.

I tell you, margaret,

Sometimes I just love my job.

I mean, it'd be gratifying enough

To give a man his voice back,

But a sweet man like that.

(automated voice): Hey, lady, move your big, fat butt.

Good afternoon, everyone.

Bob, where did you get dressed this morning? India?

For your information,

It's a hemp and wild cotton weave.

Completely natural.

As opposed to the petroleum-based garments you usually wear?

Exactly. Reg...

Let me get a tofu burger on whole grain, unbleached bread

With a, uh, glass of guava nectar.

Yu-hum.

What is with you, bob?

Hey, connie's opened my eyes to a whole new world.

I no longer eat meat, wear leather or shave my legs.

What? I swim competitively.

So, have you asked her out yet?

Hey, I'm gonna ask her out.

I'm just waiting for the right time.

Come on, bob, be a man.

You know, get yourself a step stool

And ask the woman out.

(both laughing)

Here you go--

Two rare bacon cheeseburgers.

Ha, ha... Ah...

(chuckling)

You going to eat that?

Connie says there's more bacteria in a burger

Than there is in a subway turnstile.

Connie said that sometimes the beef industry neglect cattle

Till they get terrible weeping infections of the eye sockets.

Connie said that the infection

Could eat away at the flesh

Until there's nothing left but a giant crater

In the side of the cow's head.

That's it. I'm done.

What? I went to med school.

After what I've seen,

I could eat soup out of that cow's head.

Linda? Linda?

Yes?

I have some good news.

You're finally going to change your hair?

No.

Good, 'cause it's perfect the way it is.

Mm-hmm.

I found your bracelet.

Wow. Thank you, margaret.

It really means a lot to me that you... Found it.

Excuse me.

Is dr. Becker in? Oh, yes.

He's in his office.

You could go on back.

Thank you.

Dr. Becker? Yeah?

I'm joe willakie's daughter, helen.

Could I talk to you

About that machine you got for my father?

Sure, sure. Come on in.

But if you're here to thank me,

There's no need.

I didn't do anything that any other

Dedicated medical professional wouldn't have done.

Well, maybe a little more.

I hate that thing.

My pleasure, my pleasure.

Wait.

Uh, go back.

I thought it would be so great if my father could finally talk.

But since he's had that machine,

He's been rude, he's insulting,

And he uses it to curse at everybody, including me.

Well, I-I... And he tortures

Our poor dog with that damn doorbell button.

Every time biscuit hears it,

He goes crazy and runs for the door,

And my father does it all... Day... Long.

You know, if you're asking me to take the, uh, machine away,

I can't do that.

I'm embarrassed to admit this,

But I liked him better when he couldn't talk.

Is all this anger part of the disease?

Wouldn't you be angry?

You're right, I know.

It's just that I know we don't have

That much time left together,

And I don't want it to be like this.

I don't know. Uh...

I suppose I could talk to him.

That would be great.

But I'm warning you, he can be very abrasive.

Oh, don't worry.

I deal with people like that all day long.

Mrs. Sanchez, you can go on back now.

Oh, don't forget your purse.

You definitely don't want to leave anything

Lying around this office.

Linda, if you are accusing me of stealing your bracelet,

Then just come on out and say it.

Okay. I accuse you...

I did not steal your bracelet!

Mm-hmm!

Don't you do that to me.

Come on, margaret, what am I supposed to think?

That my bracelet just magically flew off my wrist like a...

Man: Ow!

I'm willing to forget about this if you are.

Is connie here yet?

I haven't seen her.

Hey, come on! Don't kid around.

I asked her to meet me here because today is the day

Bob asks out his potential soul mate.

Soul mate?

Bob, have you been smoking your sandals?

Hey, bob.

Hey, connie.

Hey, I had fun at the rally last night.

Thanks for letting me get up on your shoulders.

I finally got to see suzanne vega.

That was great.

So, is that all you wanted to tell me?

I'm kind of on my way to a meeting. No, uh,

There's something I wanted to ask you. Sit down.

Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?

I found this great new health food restaurant.

You know, the type of place frequented by your earthy types.

There were so many gray ponytails,

I thought I was in the holding pen at the glue factory.

Tonight? Uh, gee, I'm sorry, I can't.

Right. Too last-minute.

How about next weekend?

Sorry, my mom's coming into town.

Oh, that's sweet.

Because without family, we have nothing.

How about the week after?

Sorry, bob, I can't then, either.

Oh... Wait a minute.

I see what's going on here.

You have a boyfriend,

And you have to break up with him

Before you can go out with me.

Okay, bob, I don't have a boyfriend.

I was trying to let you down easy.

You're a nice guy, but the truth is,

I just really don't want to go out with you.

I'm sorry.

Bye, bob.

Well, bob can't spin that.

Gee, bob, when you went to the rally

And got your new clothes and stopped eating meat,

Well, I didn't believe you at first,

But it really sounds like you liked this girl.

I got to admit... I did.

Is there anything we can do

To make you feel better?

Yeah.

You can give me a big, bloody, double-bacon cheeseburger.

But, bob, what about the cow's decaying eye socket?

Sure, fry one up. I'll have it for dessert.

(automated voice): I said bourbon, not cat pee.

Hey, joe.

Your daughter told me I might find you here.

Now, if you have a problem

With that one, you can kiss my... Hey, hey, hey...

Whoa... This is a...

Well, it's a bar, but still, you know...

You want anything?

Yes, I'd like a scotch rocks, please.

You know, with als,

You're not supposed to be drinking.

(sighs)

(automated voice): Because it's bad for my health?

Yeah, look, uh...

Joe, helen wants me to talk to you.

I-I know... I know it's bad.

I know you-you didn't plan your life this way.

I mean, you have a horribly unfair disease.

(automated voice): Are you trying to cheer me up?

I'm ju... I'm just saying that, you know,

Maybe you need to be a little nicer to people than...

Hey, what do I have to do, you know,

Go back there and make the drink myself?

Where was I?

(automated voice): Being nice.

Look... You know, if you keep doing this, joe,

You're going to push people away,

And you can't afford to do that.

Choke on it.

Thank you.

You know, m-maybe, maybe you should just be

A little more careful

What you say to people, you know?

Think about how it's going to make them feel.

You know, like your daughter, for instance.

She might be a little oversensitive.

She might be driving you nuts.

I don't know, but you know...

(automated voice): My daughter is nice to me.

Oh, you... Well, you mean, like overly nice?

Because th-th-that can drive you nuts, too.

I mean, I-I have people like that in my life.

(automated voice): No, she is just nice.

So...

Why are you so mean to her?

(automated voice): I don't know.

Maybe you're just angry at everybody,

And she happens to be in the line of fire?

(automated voice): I don't know.

Well... What is it?

I mean... You think if you're not nice to people,

They're not going to miss you when you're gone?

I mean, come on.

This is your daughter we're talking about, joe.

(automated voice): I don't want to leave her.

I love my daughter.

Well, then don't leave her before you have to.

You're welcome.

Hey, you know, I understand you being pissed off at people,

But what do you have against her dog?

I mean, come on, it's just a dog.

(automated voice): It's a poodle.

Oh, geez...!

It wears a sweater.

(laughs)

Ha! I got it.

(chuckles)