Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,154 --> 00:00:23,888
Merry christmas, everybody!
2
00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:25,857
Isn't it a wonderful
time of year?
3
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:29,094
Is it me, or is
the whole city just twinkling?
4
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,630
Okay, there's
my christmas cheer.
5
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,365
Divide it amongst yourselves.
6
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:37,402
Can I have some coffee,
please?
7
00:00:37,469 --> 00:00:38,403
Coming right up.
8
00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:39,504
Just made a
fresh pot.
9
00:00:39,571 --> 00:00:40,839
Ooh! Fresh coffee.
10
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:43,141
Who had December in the pool?
11
00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:47,412
Well, I can't
wait for christmas.
12
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,013
I'm going to go
out shopping
13
00:00:49,081 --> 00:00:51,483
And then curl up in
front of a roaring fire
14
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:52,917
With this great new guy.
15
00:00:52,985 --> 00:00:54,119
What guy?
16
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:55,320
I don't know.
17
00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:57,122
That's what
I'm shopping for.
18
00:00:57,189 --> 00:00:58,256
I'm with john.
19
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,224
I'm dreading
christmas this year.
20
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:01,325
Amanda and I
are spending
21
00:01:01,393 --> 00:01:02,426
The holiday
with my nana
22
00:01:02,494 --> 00:01:05,330
Who affectionately
refers to amanda
23
00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:07,332
As "that little whore."
24
00:01:07,399 --> 00:01:08,733
No, I can beat that.
25
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,270
Louis is cooking christmas
dinner again this year.
26
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:13,471
That sounds nice.
27
00:01:13,538 --> 00:01:15,139
Mmm-hmm.
28
00:01:15,207 --> 00:01:17,676
Last year,
the turkey exploded.
29
00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:21,046
Oh, you know that little
bag of giblets?
30
00:01:21,113 --> 00:01:25,416
Shot out of the kitchen,
ricocheted off the credenza
31
00:01:25,484 --> 00:01:27,285
And knocked out the cat.
32
00:01:28,687 --> 00:01:30,421
Well, that's a walk in the park
33
00:01:30,489 --> 00:01:31,556
Compared to spending christmas
34
00:01:31,623 --> 00:01:32,824
With my mom at the home.
35
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,625
Believe me,
when death takes a holiday
36
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:35,694
That's where he goes.
37
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:37,796
Well, maybe you'd all
38
00:01:37,863 --> 00:01:39,197
Feel differently about christmas
39
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,032
If you'd stop whining
about your own lives
40
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,833
And tried to help
someone less fortunate.
41
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:44,168
Reg, look around you.
42
00:01:44,236 --> 00:01:45,937
By the time you
find someone
43
00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:47,972
Less fortunate,
it'll be easter.
44
00:01:49,508 --> 00:01:51,308
I'm talking about these
"dear santa" letters
45
00:01:51,376 --> 00:01:52,443
From underprivileged kids.
46
00:01:52,511 --> 00:01:53,745
The post office gives them out
47
00:01:53,812 --> 00:01:55,580
So that people
can grant them their wishes.
48
00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:56,981
Oh, why do that?
49
00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:58,916
You know, you're just giving
the kids false hopes.
50
00:01:58,984 --> 00:02:00,919
20 years from now,
they're going to be bitter
51
00:02:00,986 --> 00:02:03,521
Because some do-gooder didn't
fix the rest of their lives.
52
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:07,191
Is that what happened
to dr. Becker?
53
00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:11,796
It would explain a lot.
54
00:02:12,865 --> 00:02:15,266
You know what, reg,
I'll take one.
55
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,001
Me, too.
I'll have one.
56
00:02:17,069 --> 00:02:18,770
Yeah, give
me one.
57
00:02:18,837 --> 00:02:19,771
Thanks.
58
00:02:22,608 --> 00:02:24,576
John.
59
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:27,445
I was going to take it.
60
00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:31,115
Oh, my kid wants
a robot.
61
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,318
And my little girl
wants a doll.
62
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,320
This kid just wants a card.
63
00:02:38,223 --> 00:02:40,458
Let me see that.
64
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,695
Aw, fine, fine-- I'll get him
the damn cd player he wants.
65
00:02:43,762 --> 00:02:46,297
What I ought to do
is give him something
66
00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:48,332
To prepare him
for the future--
67
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,234
You know, an apron,
a hairnet and a spatula.
68
00:02:52,437 --> 00:02:53,638
Hey.
69
00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,107
Oh. I'm sorry,
reggie, I for...
70
00:02:56,174 --> 00:02:57,775
Yeah, sorry.
71
00:03:06,952 --> 00:03:09,354
(telephone ringing)
72
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:10,688
Doctor's office.
73
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,257
Hi, daddy.
74
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,292
Oh, you're coming for christmas?
75
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,493
That's great.
76
00:03:15,561 --> 00:03:16,694
I want to make...
77
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,095
What?
78
00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:21,165
Oh, why do you have to bring
your slutty new girlfriend?
79
00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:25,403
And doesn't she mind
when you call her that?
80
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:30,741
All right, all right,
I'll see you on christmas.
81
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,610
I don't want
to alarm anybody
82
00:03:32,678 --> 00:03:34,179
But there's a naked guy
83
00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:37,816
Standing out there wearing
nothing but a santa hat.
84
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:39,417
Count your blessings.
85
00:03:39,484 --> 00:03:41,820
He used to be standing in here.
86
00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:46,324
So, you took
a nice, long lunch.
87
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,326
Did you at least
buy a gift for your kid?
88
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,462
Huh? Oh, right, right,
the poor kid.
89
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,932
Uh... No, I'm going to wait
till the last minute, you know
90
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,167
When all the stores
have their sales.
91
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,869
What's up here?
92
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:02,340
Okay, a little girl ate
a whole gingerbread house,
93
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,542
A lady slipped
on a broken ornament
94
00:04:04,609 --> 00:04:07,678
And some guy threw out his back
hauling fruitcakes.
95
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:09,147
Ooh, boy.
96
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,382
You know, I'd hate to be a
delivery guy this time of year.
97
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:14,885
Actually, he's an ambulance
driver from bellevue.
98
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,427
All right,
what can I do
99
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:25,496
For you, mr. Ellison?
100
00:04:25,564 --> 00:04:29,467
Doc, I need something
for... Gas.
101
00:04:33,271 --> 00:04:34,305
Uh-huh.
102
00:04:34,373 --> 00:04:36,140
Well...
103
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,142
Shoot, uh...
104
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:43,981
I'm going to have to
examine you, 'cause, uh...
105
00:04:44,049 --> 00:04:46,618
Gas can be a symptom of
something more serious.
106
00:04:46,685 --> 00:04:49,153
Oh, it's serious,
all right, but it's not me.
107
00:04:49,221 --> 00:04:50,855
See, it's my boss.
108
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:53,725
We're too halves
of a reindeer.
109
00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:56,594
(chuckles)
110
00:04:56,662 --> 00:04:57,762
You're the wrong half?
111
00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,063
(laughing)
112
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:01,399
Why are you laughing?
It's not funny.
113
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,469
I need something that I can drop
in my boss's eggnog
114
00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,071
Or I'm going to die.
115
00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:09,807
No, now, you can't just slip him
something like that.
116
00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:12,810
You're gonna have to either
tell him or live with it.
117
00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:16,046
As I may have mentioned,
I'm going to die.
118
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,050
Well, I'm sorry. But, hey--
119
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,585
Look on the bright side here.
120
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,120
A couple hours with your nose
in your boss's butt
121
00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:24,455
You might get
a promotion.
122
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,525
Yeah, real funny, doc.
123
00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:28,626
Real damn funny.
124
00:05:28,694 --> 00:05:30,628
(laughing)
125
00:05:36,802 --> 00:05:38,469
You know, reg,
that was a great idea
126
00:05:38,536 --> 00:05:40,004
Answering those kids' letters.
127
00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:41,005
Oh, what did you get?
128
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:43,107
I don't know.
129
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,145
The department store
was so crowded,
130
00:05:47,212 --> 00:05:50,481
I just grabbed whatever I could
and got the hell out of there.
131
00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:51,916
What did I get?
132
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:55,086
A game boy and a strainer.
133
00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:56,287
Oh.
134
00:05:56,354 --> 00:05:58,422
Merry christmas.
135
00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:02,026
Thank you.
136
00:06:02,094 --> 00:06:03,394
I got my kid a robot.
137
00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:06,096
It walks, it talks
and it picks stuff up
138
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:09,099
Which is already
one more thing than louis does.
139
00:06:10,235 --> 00:06:12,303
I not only got my kid
the barbie doll
140
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,038
But I got her
a whole wardrobe
141
00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:16,074
The beach house,
the pink corvette--
142
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:19,144
That little plastic bimbo's
living better than I am.
143
00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:20,778
Hey, you guys.
144
00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:24,515
So, john, did you
buy your gift yet?
145
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:25,850
Yeah, for your
information,
146
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,351
I got it, like,
three days ago.
147
00:06:27,419 --> 00:06:28,452
Oh, really.
148
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:29,888
What did you get?
149
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,790
Yeah, I've been
really busy, margaret.
150
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,625
I can't believe
you took that letter
151
00:06:34,693 --> 00:06:37,027
And you're not going
to send that kid anything.
152
00:06:37,095 --> 00:06:39,164
That kid's going to wake
up christmas morning
153
00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,065
Thinking that christmas
is a giant sham.
154
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:42,566
It is a sham.
155
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:43,735
So, when you think about it,
156
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:45,469
I just gave that kid
the gift of truth
157
00:06:45,537 --> 00:06:48,039
Which is, you know,
way too big to wrap.
158
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:50,441
Oh, save it, john.
159
00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:53,011
I already bought him
a cd player.
160
00:06:53,078 --> 00:06:54,478
It's wrapped and on your desk.
161
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,681
All you have to do
is address it and mail it.
162
00:06:56,748 --> 00:07:00,050
Wow. Boy, it really does feel
good to give, doesn't it?
163
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,024
I don't believe this.
164
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:09,260
Now my mother's
coming for christmas
165
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,329
And she's bringing
her boyfriend.
166
00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:13,630
I don't know why she's
bringing him to my house.
167
00:07:13,698 --> 00:07:15,399
It's not like I
have a pool to clean.
168
00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:20,238
Yeah, da... David
just has a cold.
169
00:07:20,305 --> 00:07:22,774
A few days in bed,
he'll be fine.
170
00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,776
Bye-bye.
171
00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:29,446
Oh, I tell you, we need more
patients like that at christmas.
172
00:07:29,514 --> 00:07:30,515
Calm, not going crazy.
173
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,383
Just taking the
holiday in stride.
174
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:34,218
You mean kids?
175
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,487
No, jews.
176
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:39,390
Hey, you know what?
177
00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:40,925
If this is it,
why don't you
178
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,559
Take the rest
of the day off?
179
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:46,564
A whole hour early? With pay?
180
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,832
Ah...
181
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,768
Well, hey, you know,
what the hell? Yeah.
182
00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:52,637
Merry christmas,
margaret.
183
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,872
Merry christmas, john.
184
00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:57,775
Hey, did I
hear something
185
00:07:57,843 --> 00:07:59,043
About people
leaving early?
186
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,711
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Take off, linda.
187
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:02,413
Oh, do me a favor,
though, will you?
188
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,915
If you're going by
a post office,
189
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,115
Mail this for me.
190
00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:06,316
Here's the address.
191
00:08:06,384 --> 00:08:08,052
It's too late
to mail anything.
192
00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:09,520
The post office
is closed.
193
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:11,722
Oh. Well, I tried.
194
00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:16,426
If you really want
that little boy to get his gift
195
00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:18,529
You could drive it
out to his house.
196
00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:19,530
Are you nuts?
197
00:08:19,597 --> 00:08:21,331
He lives out in queens.
198
00:08:21,399 --> 00:08:24,001
That's not just time,
that's tolls.
199
00:08:24,069 --> 00:08:25,235
You know,
dr. Becker
200
00:08:25,303 --> 00:08:26,604
By taking that letter
201
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,606
You made a promise
to that child
202
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,140
And you should keep it.
203
00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:32,276
It's the right thing to do.
204
00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:36,547
Why do I have
to go out to queens?
205
00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:37,949
This is the bronx.
206
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:40,284
I could throw this out a window
and hit a poor kid.
207
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:49,026
(horns beeping, honking)
208
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,935
"right thing to do," my ass.
209
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:09,680
Excuse me!
210
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,350
Go away!
211
00:09:12,751 --> 00:09:13,751
I need a ride into queens.
212
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,185
You going over the bridge?
213
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:18,389
Does it look like
I'm going anywhere?
214
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,725
If you had
another passenger,
215
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,694
You could use
the carpool lane.
216
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,431
Well, it is cold out there.
217
00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:30,801
Hey.
218
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,070
Thanks.
219
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,505
My car broke down.
220
00:09:34,873 --> 00:09:36,840
I've been out there
221
00:09:36,908 --> 00:09:38,342
Freezing for an hour.
222
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:41,479
You're the first person to even
talk to me, let alone help me.
223
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:42,680
I gotta tell you,
224
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,115
When a stranger
goes out of his way for...
225
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,284
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
226
00:09:46,351 --> 00:09:47,685
("jingle bells" playing)
227
00:09:47,752 --> 00:09:49,253
Ah, I love this one.
228
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,621
(humming along)
229
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,095
So where is this
carpool lane?
230
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:58,896
Actually, you're
already in it.
231
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,732
I just thought I'd
help you avoid a ticket.
232
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:03,734
(humming "jingle bells")
233
00:10:09,274 --> 00:10:10,641
Ma?
234
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,779
Ma...
235
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:18,783
G-47!
236
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,452
Bingo!
237
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,655
I'm sorry, ma,
did I wake you?
238
00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:26,691
Bobby...
239
00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:27,925
Come over here.
240
00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:31,161
That wasn't nice.
241
00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:34,198
Now give me a kiss.
242
00:10:34,265 --> 00:10:36,200
What the hell
are you doing here?
243
00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:38,669
It's christmas, ma, and don't
pretend like you don't know.
244
00:10:38,736 --> 00:10:40,705
A cigarette?
Are you crazy?
245
00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:42,006
You can't smoke in here.
246
00:10:42,073 --> 00:10:43,207
That's an oxygen tank.
247
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:45,309
Relax, it's not lit.
248
00:10:45,376 --> 00:10:47,945
But if they ever tell me
I have five minutes to live,
249
00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:50,748
I don't want to waste it
looking for a cigarette.
250
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,082
All right,
all right, fine.
251
00:10:53,885 --> 00:10:54,852
So...?
252
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,221
Where is it?
Where's my gift?
253
00:10:57,289 --> 00:10:59,556
I didn't have time
to shop this year.
254
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:00,558
What?!
255
00:11:00,625 --> 00:11:04,195
Relax, I'm yanking your chain.
256
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:09,166
Here--
merry christmas, doll.
257
00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:11,736
Oh, man, it's a police car!
258
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,971
Well, I know you love cars.
259
00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:15,973
And it's got a remote control!
260
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,476
And I know you hate moving.
261
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,511
Ma, these are
really expensive.
262
00:11:20,578 --> 00:11:21,879
You shouldn't have.
263
00:11:21,946 --> 00:11:23,614
Ah, forget it.
It fell off a truck.
264
00:11:23,681 --> 00:11:25,582
Enjoy.
265
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,218
Thanks, ma.
266
00:11:27,285 --> 00:11:28,452
You bet.
267
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,822
Okay, now you have
to open yours.
268
00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:33,090
Fancy bag. Ooh!
269
00:11:36,895 --> 00:11:38,095
It's perfume.
270
00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:39,663
The saleswoman
at the store said
271
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,432
It gets rid of that
old lady smell.
272
00:11:41,499 --> 00:11:45,036
Oh... Bobby...
273
00:11:45,103 --> 00:11:46,203
Come over here.
274
00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:49,173
That wasn't nice.
275
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:50,507
Now give me a kiss.
276
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:53,677
Can I try it?
277
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,179
Well, I can't return it.
278
00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:59,583
This is so cool.
279
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,485
Code blue! Code blue!
280
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:02,719
(siren wailing)
281
00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:07,991
Sorry about that, guys.
282
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:19,436
Oh, look at that,
it's starting to snow...
283
00:12:19,504 --> 00:12:20,504
And on christmas eve.
284
00:12:20,572 --> 00:12:22,874
How's that for a miracle?
285
00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:26,977
Those are ashes
from the car fire up ahead.
286
00:12:27,045 --> 00:12:29,547
Still, it's a beautiful night.
287
00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:31,515
So quiet, so peaceful.
288
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:34,085
(honking horn)
hey, move it,
you jackass!
289
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,421
I guess it's hard
to be patient.
290
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:39,556
We've all got someplace to be.
291
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:40,891
I mean, I'm supposed to meet up
292
00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:42,459
With a couple
of old college buddies
293
00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:46,363
But I guess we'll all just
get there when we get there.
294
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,432
The important thing
is to be grateful
295
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,600
For all the goodness in...
296
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,268
Aw, you know, that's it.
That's it.
297
00:12:51,336 --> 00:12:53,170
You know, I'm going to go see
what the hell's taking so long.
298
00:12:54,806 --> 00:12:57,707
You mind if I listen
to christmas music
while you're gone?
299
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,877
Actually,
that'd be the best time
300
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,245
To listen to christmas music.
301
00:13:07,285 --> 00:13:09,987
Oh, bobby...
302
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,156
Mmm! This is delicious.
303
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:14,692
It's canned turkey, ma.
Just like you used to make.
304
00:13:16,661 --> 00:13:20,130
Okay, ma, it's
officially
after dinner.
305
00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:21,498
Now, you know
what that means.
306
00:13:21,566 --> 00:13:22,766
What does that mean?
307
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,038
("it came upon
a midnight clear" playing)
308
00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:30,474
May I?
May you what?
309
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:31,842
Come on, ma, don't pretend
like you don't know.
310
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,777
We have to dance.
It's our christmas tradition.
311
00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:34,879
All right, all right.
312
00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:35,946
I'm coming, I'm coming.
313
00:13:45,289 --> 00:13:47,157
Aw, honey...
314
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:50,027
Bobby, this is so nice.
315
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:51,795
Yeah, it is, ma.
316
00:13:51,863 --> 00:13:52,863
Yeah.
317
00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:53,964
Shall we dip?
318
00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:54,999
Yeah, why not?
319
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,366
Just a second.
320
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:01,071
You ready?
Go for it.
321
00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:08,679
You know, honey, this
really tired me out.
322
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:10,648
I got to rest up
for my date.
323
00:14:10,715 --> 00:14:12,249
Really? You got a date?
With who?
324
00:14:12,317 --> 00:14:13,918
Mr. Bellows across the hall.
325
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,419
We're going to watch
326
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,787
Midnight mass
from st. Peter's.
327
00:14:21,859 --> 00:14:24,461
Directly across the hall?
328
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:25,630
Yeah.
329
00:14:25,697 --> 00:14:26,931
I get the feeling
330
00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:29,967
He'll be getting to
st. Peter's a little early.
331
00:14:30,335 --> 00:14:34,604
Fine, he can wait
for me for a change.
332
00:14:34,672 --> 00:14:37,607
Bobby...
333
00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:39,643
Thanks for coming over.
334
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:40,845
Oh, ma...
335
00:14:43,381 --> 00:14:46,383
You know, ma...
336
00:14:46,451 --> 00:14:47,618
I just want to tell you
337
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:50,254
I'm really gonna turn
things around this year.
338
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,156
I can just feel it.
339
00:14:52,223 --> 00:14:56,827
Oh, honey, I'm proud of
you just the way you are.
340
00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:58,995
Thanks, ma.
341
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,665
Now who's my best
little boy?
342
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,500
Me.
343
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,269
Who's me?
344
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:08,005
Bobby.
345
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:09,639
And what is bobby?
346
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,777
I'm your best little boy.
347
00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:15,680
I love you, ma.
348
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:17,081
I love you, too, baby.
349
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:21,819
Merry christmas, bobby.
350
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,954
Merry christmas, ma.
351
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,760
Well, they finally
got the burning car
352
00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:32,262
Hooked up to the tow truck.
353
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,931
Now the tow truck's on fire.
354
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,702
Oh, that's... That's great.
355
00:15:38,769 --> 00:15:43,140
The guy takes off and leaves
a classic car just sitting here.
356
00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:49,046
Where's my gift?
357
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,480
Son of a bitch ripped me off.
358
00:15:50,548 --> 00:15:52,917
I can't believe that!
359
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:53,984
(horn honks)
360
00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:55,719
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, all right.
361
00:15:56,988 --> 00:15:58,889
(thud)
362
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:04,261
Aw, come on, lady, put your
finger away-- it's christmas!
363
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:18,175
Hi, guys.
How were your holidays?
364
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,811
An old black lady,
an asian girl and a blind guy
365
00:16:20,878 --> 00:16:23,046
Got into a bar fight.
366
00:16:25,082 --> 00:16:26,784
And, no, I'm not
telling you a joke,
367
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:29,353
I'm describing
christmas morning.
368
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,588
Mine wasn't much better.
369
00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:33,891
I spent christmas with
my cousin audrey and her son.
370
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:37,160
Cute kid, but he's got, like,
17 different personalities.
371
00:16:37,228 --> 00:16:38,895
Oh... That's weird.
372
00:16:38,963 --> 00:16:41,432
Well, on the plus side, one of
them is a 38-year-old lawyer
373
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,467
And he said he'd call.
374
00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:45,036
He won't.
375
00:16:45,103 --> 00:16:48,439
So, bob, how was your
christmas at the home?
376
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,473
Horrible.
377
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:51,375
Old people complaining,
lousy food.
378
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:53,110
My mom thinks I'm, like,
ten years old.
379
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,646
She got me
a remote control car.
380
00:16:55,713 --> 00:16:57,014
What, like a
little race car?
381
00:16:57,081 --> 00:16:59,016
No, this was, like,
a really cool police cruiser
382
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,851
With lights and a siren...
383
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,623
It was pathetic.
384
00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:08,559
You're awfully
quiet, becker.
385
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,494
But if that's
my christmas present, thank you.
386
00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:11,795
It's what I've always wanted.
387
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:15,599
I may have...
388
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:17,501
I may have witnessed
a miracle.
389
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,102
What are you talking about?
390
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:22,305
Well, something weird happened
to me on christmas eve
391
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,975
And I have no other
explanation for it.
392
00:17:25,042 --> 00:17:28,945
I was on my way to give
that kid his gift, right?
393
00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:32,816
And I got stuck in traffic
and this guy came up to the car.
394
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:36,487
He asked me for a ride.
I said, "okay."
395
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:37,588
Oh, my god.
396
00:17:37,989 --> 00:17:40,857
You helped someone?
397
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,926
That's not the story.
398
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,528
Hello, everyone.
399
00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:45,529
Hey.
Hey.
400
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:46,863
Just tea, please, reg.
401
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:48,199
Coffee for me,
please.
402
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,533
In a minute, guys.
403
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:50,734
Go ahead, becker.
404
00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:51,868
Well, it turns out
405
00:17:51,936 --> 00:17:52,969
The guy I picked up
406
00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:54,238
Stole everything out of my car,
407
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:55,872
Including that kid's gift.
408
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:57,941
But now,
the weird thing is
409
00:17:58,009 --> 00:17:59,310
When I got to work this morning
410
00:17:59,377 --> 00:18:02,346
I had this thank-you note
from the kid's mom.
411
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,182
You know, there's no way that
gift could've gotten there.
412
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,616
It didn't have an address on it.
413
00:18:06,684 --> 00:18:08,385
Then how'd he get it?
414
00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:11,555
I think that's the point
of my story, jake.
415
00:18:11,622 --> 00:18:14,725
And there was no
return address, either.
416
00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:17,594
So how did she know where
to send the thank-you card?
417
00:18:17,662 --> 00:18:20,264
So, this guy you
picked up, who was he?
418
00:18:20,331 --> 00:18:23,700
I don't know, he was just
a... A stranger, you know?
419
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:27,371
Came out of nowhere and then
disappeared into nowhere.
420
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:29,740
And he was creepy, you know?
421
00:18:29,807 --> 00:18:32,576
All... Happy.
422
00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:35,445
Do you have any idea
where he went?
423
00:18:35,513 --> 00:18:36,580
No, no.
424
00:18:36,647 --> 00:18:38,682
He said he was going
to go to queens
425
00:18:38,749 --> 00:18:43,387
To see two of his friends
from college.
426
00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:45,956
Three college guys, huh?
427
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:49,026
Sort of like
the three wise men.
428
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,428
Was there a star
burning in the east?
429
00:18:51,496 --> 00:18:54,865
No.
430
00:18:54,932 --> 00:18:59,103
But there was
a buick on fire.
431
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:02,640
And in the
eastbound lane.
432
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:05,108
Look, how long were you
stuck out there?
433
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:09,179
I don't know, they
didn't clear it up
until after midnight.
434
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:12,116
It came upon
a midnight clear.
435
00:19:12,183 --> 00:19:14,284
Wow, maybe you're right.
436
00:19:14,352 --> 00:19:16,420
Maybe it was a miracle.
437
00:19:16,487 --> 00:19:18,722
No, no, no, there's got
to be another word for it.
438
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,157
I mean, just hearing you
say it, it sounds so crazy.
439
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,992
I can't believe
I said it.
440
00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:24,228
Damn it, damn it.
441
00:19:24,295 --> 00:19:26,563
Something was going on
out there.
442
00:19:26,631 --> 00:19:30,034
I mean, who was that guy?
443
00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:33,670
Maybe he was an angel.
444
00:19:33,738 --> 00:19:37,307
Or the spirit of christmas.
445
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,543
I don't know; I don't know.
446
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,913
But if what happened
really was a m... A m...
447
00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:44,548
What she said...
448
00:19:44,816 --> 00:19:46,717
Then, you know,
449
00:19:46,784 --> 00:19:49,086
It calls into question
everything I've ever believed in
450
00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:52,155
Or not believed in.
451
00:19:52,223 --> 00:19:53,824
Maybe it was a sign.
452
00:19:53,891 --> 00:19:57,527
Maybe I need to start
being different.
453
00:19:57,595 --> 00:19:59,229
You know, better.
454
00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:00,764
Yeah.
455
00:20:00,831 --> 00:20:03,534
Oh, hey, listen, if I forgot to
say this a couple of days ago--
456
00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:04,634
Merry christmas.
457
00:20:04,702 --> 00:20:06,470
Hey, merry christmas, buddy.
Hey, jake,
458
00:20:06,571 --> 00:20:07,704
Merry christmas,
buddy.
459
00:20:07,772 --> 00:20:09,639
Oh, stop it!
460
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,941
What?
461
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:16,146
As tempting as it is to have you
walk out of here a believer,
462
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:18,248
This is not the way
it's supposed to happen.
463
00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:20,284
I mailed the gift.
464
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:22,353
Excuse me?
465
00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:26,155
I knew you wouldn't mail it
on time, so I did it for you.
466
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,457
But you left it on my desk.
467
00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:30,794
I left a gift for you
on your desk.
468
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,465
For me?
469
00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:37,033
What was it?
470
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,702
Did you open it?
471
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:39,670
No.
472
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:43,707
Then it was a very
expensive watch.
473
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:47,911
So, wait a minute,
all that really happened here
474
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:51,014
Was I did a good deed
for some guy on christmas eve
475
00:20:51,082 --> 00:20:52,850
And he turned around
and robbed me!
476
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,517
Oh, I know, it's terrible, john.
477
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:56,553
No, no, it's wonderful.
478
00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:59,789
I always thought christmas
sucked-- now I have proof!
479
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,124
Yeah!
480
00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:06,263
Hey, yeah, move it,
tiny tim!
481
00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:07,697
I don't have all day,
you know?
482
00:21:11,802 --> 00:21:13,937
You had to tell him.
33162
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof