Original subtitles

Something you look through.

Something that flashes.

Oh, I'm so sorry, folks, but you haven't remembered all the items on the prize

desolator, so you won't be leaving here with the big cash prize.

However, I would never let you go home empty -handed.

Angela!

All right, let's see which fabulous place we're off to for next week's show,

last show of the series.

Well, there we have it.

So, we'll see you next time, where once again... We'll let the games begin.

Um, cut.

Oh, thank you so much for playing, you two. Thank you, thank you. Freddie, I

thought we said I could close the show.

Oh, yeah, sorry, sweetheart.

Just completely forgot.

Bye.

You know, this show's given me a fear of escalators.

Just do stairs and lifts now.

Oi!

Yeah? It's my taxi, yeah?

I think it's outside.

Yeah, then go fetch my thing.

Thought you were my PA.

Yeah.

Well?

I've spoken to them.

And they said yes. Yes!

You won't regret this.

Right.

I've got to run.

I will see you next week in... Great Slaughter.

Wherever that is.

Ready.

Just keep this to yourself for now.

OK? Of course.

Though I would not want to be you when they all discover they're out of a job.

Quite simple.

So, the show pairs six people to partake in a series of frivolous tasks.

The remaining two then have to remember several items on an escalator in order

to win them all, plus the cash prize.

Are people actually watching?

Why did Fifi lately ask to meet you?

Good question.

Oh, watch out!

Sorry, I'm still getting the hang of this.

Are you auditioning?

I'd rather not humiliate myself on national television.

Oh. Well, I'll be careful then.

Wouldn't want you to fall off your high horse.

Great question, Norm. I mean, look, the thing is, I'm a natural -born

entertainer. You know, during the war, in the Rifle Brigade, I was the one

keeping everyone's spirits up.

And then after that, toured the theatres, won opportunity calls, and

And, Angela, you've been a part of the show almost a year.

Replace Jodie.

Those are big shoes to fill.

So, what's it like being their glamorous assistant?

Great. Though, hopefully, I won't be that forever.

Keeps threatening to jump channels.

You're here.

Yes, sir.

Why exactly?

All will be revealed, Gillespie.

The Great Slaughter Police Retired Dogs Trust.

Is that right, see? Certainly is the finest to ever serve this constabulary.

So what's this got to do with us meeting here?

Well, actually, it's a time for the Trust's annual fundraiser. I mean, the

is in dire need of new kennels. Whilst organising this is typically, well, my

responsibility, other commitments, my dramatics, my embroidery

classes have somehow got in the way. So we have just two days to find

the funds.

No, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't.

A share of that cash prize will more than suffice. And given the filming is

tonight and tomorrow, we'll have precisely what we need just in the nick

time. It's for a good cause.

That's the spirit button.

Now, come along, all of ye.

Get stuck in.

You too, sister.

Is Peggy auditioning?

It would appear so.

I was thinking, maybe I could introduce the first challenge. You know, mix

things up a bit. If it's the marching band, you've got to use the old they're

blowing their own trumpets gag. Good.

Well, it's fine by me. Just check with Freddie.

Check what?

I was saying, I could introduce the first challenge?

It's a little bit last minute for that, love. I'll tell you what you can do.

Get rid of that lippy.

Doesn't suit you.

Hedgehog for fine? Dump him in my dressing room.

Do you want me to fetch you a cup of tea? OK.

Have you told everyone?

Is it still happening?

Yes, yes.

Just need to find the right time, that's all.

Ah. But, sir, why was I chosen?

Ah, you clearly impressed, old boy.

As for the others... Where's Peggy?

Let's just say that her plate spinning left a lot to be desired.

Oh, thank you so much.

This will be our tasks.

Oh, along with our pairings.

What?

You've got to be kidding me.

Hello, Nigel. And I'm with, um... Vera. Yes, look sharp,

Hector. I've got my eye on that electric tea maker.

And who is Denise?

I've seen you here.

Hello.

Oh, Duffy, dear.

If you were to win a big cash prize, what would you spend it on?

I'd renovate my cafe, the Bumbly Bee. Oh, fantastic.

New lick of paint sort of thing. Oh, no.

I want to turn it into an actual bee.

Yellow and black stripes on the walls and wings on either side.

Hmm. Okay.

I'd buy the limited edition Professor Wise eye book acting figure.

Only 500 ever made.

Hmm.

Yeah, are you single by any chance, Norm?

Now, it says here that you would like to be an actress.

You'd use the money for drama school, or...? Yes, and give some to my sister.

She's just had a baby.

Oh, aren't you sweet.

Here, how do you feel about being paired up with Felix?

Fine.

Just surprised you're doing something so humiliating.

Ah, we have a comedian as well as an actor.

We can't all take ourselves so serious.

Okay.

Now that we've met our contestants, let's bring on our first challenge.

Cut.

Dress the set.

Actually, hold that there. Sorry, just before we do that, I have a quick

announcement. Come and gather in, everyone.

That is that Let the Games Begin is heading to America.

And, yeah, so whilst yours truly will be heading over there to host it, it does

mean this is the end of the UK show.

So, yeah, you might want to start thinking about the future.

Oh!

Now that Ange and I have shown our contestants how it's done, let the games

begin.

I've been doing the judging, and with five points, it's Hexer and Vera.

Coming in close second with four points, it's Norman and Dottie alongside Felix

and Denise.

So, whilst no one goes home this time, everything changes in the next hour.

Dots, pick the rest up tomorrow.

Denise, perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.

And since we're partnered together...

So what made you want to take part?

I'm trying to raise money for a dog charity.

I'll see you in the morning then, cowboy.

And?

About Freddie's announcement.

Don't.

I'm not a cleaner, Freddie. No, but last time I checked, it used to work for me,

so sort it. All right.

This is coffee, yeah?

You know what this does to me!

Makes him even more of an insufferable son.

Everyone set?

Okay, in three, two...

Our next challenge, one of the pairs will ride the bull holding a basket

the other tosses a beanbag for them to catch.

Judging will be Barking Bronco champion Brad Hunter.

But as always, Ange and I will be up first to show you how it's done.

Actually,

you know what? Brad, you're the expert. You can show us.

Saddle up then, partner.

Up you go.

All right, let's get this rootin' tootin' show on the road.

It won't stop.

I mean, clearly this is a tragic accident.

What is it?

This wire.

Deliberately exposed in the motor and attached to the underside of the saddle

horn, effectively making the ball lie the moment the wire is touched.

And this leather, torn to ensure direct contact with the current.

Meaning that this wasn't an accident.

Well, judging by these indentations, the sabotage was conducted using a tool of

some sort.

What is that?

Samurai sword letter opener.

Somewhat niche item.

Whose condition suggests it was not used by our culprit.

Bingo!

One prize toolkit, minus a screwdriver.

I don't understand. Why would anyone want to murder a fucking bronco

Actually, he wasn't supposed to be the person I was riding it.

I mean, why would anyone want to kill me?

Aside from those you just told were unemployed, is there anyone in

you think might be behind this?

No -one springs to mind.

Right, well, you'll have to hold filming.

But this is our last show in the UK.

Gillespie, I mean, surely you can conduct your inquiries around the game.

Think about Rexy.

Fine, but our investigation comes first.

Yes. I will need protecting.

At your service, sir.

Although, obviously, I will have to fit that in around the tasks.

Given the busy set, our culprit couldn't have sabotaged the ball unnoticed,

meaning it had to have taken place with hardly anyone around.

We're speaking to those that stayed late last night or arrived early this

morning. I'm always in early.

This is my show.

Of course I was here late. It takes forever to get out these outfits.

I stayed behind last night to talk to Director Giles about breaking into the

industry.

Not that I got the chance.

I work late most nights.

Freddie can be demanding.

He's been the same since his variety days.

Oh, I knew I recognised you. Archie and Malcolm.

Yeah. What's this?

I used to be in a double act. We toured a variety show with Freddie.

They were most amusing.

And you were also on Opportunity Call.

Yeah, again, with Freddie.

Did you win?

No, Archie's nerves got the better of him, so now I do this.

Sorry, so sorry. Oh, awful habit.

Mine, not yours.

You've got... This is very nice.

It really frames your face.

Given that you're Freddie's assistant, have you noticed anything unusual over

the last day or so?

Um, now you mention it, there was that really big mess in his dressing room

he asked me to clean up.

What mess?

Why didn't you say someone had been in here?

Given the state of this room, it looks like they were searching for something.

Probably a member of the crew. You know what they're like, just rummaging

around.

So you weren't aware of anyone else? No, just me and Malcolm.

Champagne cork.

Which appears to have some sort of powder on it.

Yes, well, I...

Treated myself to some champers last night.

You drank a whole bottle to yourself?

I was celebrating.

Right, I'm needed on set.

I think Freddy knows precisely who was in here and the reason why.

Then why not tell us?

Well, obviously to keep us in the dark.

Makes me wonder what else he's hiding.

Sister, look.

This drawer's been forced open.

Perhaps they took what they were looking for.

Potentially. Though seemingly, they've left something behind.

So, let's start with the cork.

Metroscopic observations show that the powder that was on it is in fact make

foundation.

Contradicting Freddie's claim he was drinking alone.

Well... Not necessarily.

Freddie will no doubt be given an application of on -screen make -up.

I'll perform a comparison test to see if it's his.

Anything else?

Oh, yes. Those headshots that we found. The substance on their surface turned

out to be minute flakes of cedarwood. Given that these flakes appeared

masticated, I decided to run a fordavis test, which showed they were covered in

saliva.

And that all means...? Well, cedarwood's primarily used to coat pencils, so...

For these flakes to both fall onto the headshots as well as contain saliva, I

deduce whoever forced the drawer open had to have been chewing that.

All right.

I was in there first thing, but I had no choice.

A few weeks back, the show visited my hometown.

I caught up with an old friend.

An old flame.

Joanna, my wife.

I love her more than anything.

It's just always being on the road.

The night it happened.

Freddie must have still been around.

He took some photos, showed them to me.

He'd heard rumours about America.

He said if I didn't take him, then he'd show Joanna everything.

It was these photos that you were looking for earlier?

Yeah, all I found were those headshots.

So you decided to permanently end Freddie's blackmail?

No.

I mean, look, I hate what that man is doing to me.

But at the end of the day, I created this mess.

Watch the edge.

Remove yourself from my person immediately.

Then how is this supposed to work? In a way which does not involve your hand on

my never -reaching door.

Ready, Neil?

Actually, Miss Thimble, it's Norman, like it's always been.

Really? I'm ever so sorry.

And... That's it, Noah.

So, you went from palm trees and beaches to village fights and ballerining.

Yeah, it was quite a shock at first, but now it's home.

So... Why are Great Sloth terrible places?

Actually, I was meant to be going to Scotland Yard. We were meant to be going

London. We?

She's probably... Blimey!

Just met and you're already tying the knot.

He cheered up.

How do you mean?

Last night he was laying into that Freddy.

Something about him ruining a big chance for him.

I've been his dog's buddy for years, so when I saw a job opening for a variety

show manager, I finally went for it. They said all I needed was a half

reference, which he said he'd give me.

And that wasn't the case?

Well, they've called yesterday, said that they've gone with somebody else.

I knew he'd ruined it, so when I asked him why, he said it's because he decides

when the end of our engagement is because he employed me when nobody else

You must have felt aggrieved. It's putting it lightly.

I'm not going to kill the bloke.

Wasted enough years on him as it is.

So why stick around unless it was for a specific reason?

There is money.

Cheapskate sorted it so the show pays me. So if I don't stay until the end, I

don't get this month's paycheck.

But when I do, you are not going to see me for dust.

So the aim is to take the eggs over to the basket without dropping them.

Sadly, mine and Angie's attempt was far from excellent.

Without further ado, let the games begin.

Just take me in your arms.

What sort of talk is that for a married man?

We're doing it. Of course, Nathaniel. It's just like having three legs.

And with the scores added in from the last round, Duffy and Norman lead Felix

and Denise by just one point.

But what does this mean, Ange?

You tell me.

It means that, thirdly, Hector and Vera, you will be leaving us.

All right.

Let's move on to the final challenge.

Cut.

Look, I get that you're upset about the show, but some professionalism?

Thank you, Vera, for being about as much use as a handbrake on a canoe.

We're really going to be relying on you this time, Livingston.

Although you do have the advantage of my extensive expertise.

And, um, perhaps something else.

Ah,

Freddy.

Look, we've just had some interesting conversations with both Malcolm and

And even if you'd rather we weren't aware of your behaviour, we need to know

may want to hurt you.

Like I said, I can't think of anyone.

Where is that director?

You're all right, Mrs Clare. I should think not, given that this pitiful

consolation prize they've given me is defective.

How strange.

It appears to be deliberately torn.

I'll be gentle as I can, Mr. Bear.

What on earth are you doing?

Evidently, uncovering what someone deemed to be

the perfect hiding place.

Oh.

The striation marks from the screwdriver matched those on the ball, meaning this

was our tool.

But why hide it in the bear?

A moment of panic, perhaps.

The handle contained no clear prints. Though, interestingly, there were

fibres present.

Microscopic examination shows they're flock fibres, the type used on velvet

clothing. Oh, and they're also purple.

So we're looking for someone who wore purple velvet?

Potentially, though there are several uses of this specific fibre, of which

compiled a list.

Clothes, curtains, interiors, basically everything.

OK, we'll search the studio and I'll ask Felix to keep an eye out. Oh, um...

And there's also the matter of the cork. Now, Freddie's foundation is actually

cream -based, primarily made of mineral oil, stearic acid and oxychloride,

whilst the one on the cork is a powder foundation consisting of talc, zinc

and kaolin.

So, in layman's terms, someone else was with him last night.

It also transpires that there's only one person on the show who uses that

particular foundation.

After his announcement, I took some champagne to his dressing room.

To celebrate.

I also wanted a chat.

I'm always the assistant.

Seen and not heard.

But that's not enough.

I want to be the one presenting.

Freddie knew this.

Ever since I started.

He even promised to mentor me. To the point where I'd eventually co -host.

Now he was going to America, I thought, this could be my break.

That I might go too.

He said I could.

Though there was a condition.

I had to prove how much I appreciated him first.

Afterwards, I... What now?

I started laughing.

I couldn't believe I was so naive that a bit of crumpet like me could

never be host.

Yeah. As reprehensible as that is, it does give you strong motive.

I know, but this wasn't me.

It wasn't.

Because no matter what happens to Freddy, I'd still feel disgusted with

I was adamant that Alfred Hitchcock was in our camp, so I ran across town.

And when you arrived, it turned out to be a farmer called Dave.

You know, before, when you said we, I mean, we don't have to if you'd rather

not. No.

It was myself and Victoria, my fiancée.

So I came here first on secondment, and when I realised I'd be here for longer,

she decided to join me.

But when she did, we both realised that we wanted different things.

And what do you want?

Sam. Felix.

Have you spotted anyone?

No, not yet.

Rex!

The very same.

I just wanted to remind Livingston what he's playing for.

Well, aren't you the most adorable, fluffy, obedient boy?

Have you ever seen a finer creature?

Let's hope Felix can give him the retirement he deserves.

Lunch, sir.

Sister?

I'll search.

Yes, of course.

Forget practicing, then.

That's his counting on you.

You've never done the tango?

Not yet, but if you can tell me what to do.

Okay.

It's all about finding the rhythm, okay?

Here? Yes.

Right. Okay.

Okay. All right. Okay.

I'm so sorry.

Don't overthink.

All right. Okay.

That's it.

You're doing fine.

So, no purple velvet in any of the dressing rooms.

Perhaps the control room might prove more peaceful.

I dare say Felix is rather enjoying himself. What

is it?

May I?

I believe we've potentially found the source of our fibres.

The additional checks we carried out show that your half -sister's Jodie, the

glamorous assistant before Angela.

Yeah.

Um... She and Freddie had a thing.

Not that anyone knew.

Then she got pregnant.

Had to leave the show.

He made a promise not to tell anyone.

He said that he'd look after them, but instead he just cut her off.

She tried contacting him, but couldn't get anywhere, so I decided to

try for the show and talk to him in person.

And that's the real reason you stayed last night?

I just wanted to chat with him.

But when I went to his dressing room, he was already in there with someone else.

So you sabotaged the ball?

Avenge the way he treated Jodie.

No, no, I'd never do that. Felix, tell him.

We are comparing fibres that we found at the crime scene against your hair

ribbon.

If they match, the likelihood is you will be charged with the murder of Brad

Hunter.

I didn't do this.

Please, you have to believe me.

Felix!

We need confirmation from Sister Boniface before we even consider

So, technically, she can still play.

Remember Rexypoo's?

If she was to play, it would have to be under police supervision.

Are you fine with that? Of course he is. Right.

I'll start the car.

If you're not comfortable...

She was just a contestant.

So this is it.

The last ever challenge.

Joanna all set for the States, then?

Actually, she's going here.

She didn't fancy relocating.

So you're just going with Freddie?

Yes, yes. We fly out tonight.

That soon?

They want to hit the ground running.

I'm sorry you're both not coming.

What about you, Ange? You got anything lined up after this?

Not yet.

My agent said people are always looking for pretty assistants.

Yeah, that's not for you, though, is it? You want to be in front of the camera,

not to the side.

Even if that's true, it'll never happen.

Don't be so sure.

All you need is one opportunity. If you grab that, there's no stopping you.

Well? I've run some TLC tests.

The dye components in the fibres of the hair ribbon.

Close, but not conclusive.

Meaning?

They're not a match.

But now what?

And now it's our contestants' turn.

And after this challenge, whilst one of the pairs will be going home, the other

pair will take on the prized escalator.

So, without further ado, let the games begin.

You alright?

I'm fine.

Talk to me.

You know I didn't do this.

Felix. I'm trying to concentrate.

Maybe I wasn't completely honest.

That's putting things mildly.

Freddie, what do you want?

What are you doing?

So that's it, then?

We just pretend like nothing's ever happened between us?

I don't know what you mean.

What I mean is... I thought I was paired with someone I couldn't stand.

But then I got to know the real you.

Help me! For crying out loud!

Malcolm, put the... Don't come any closer.

What's ready?

Wow. Now that is how you do the tangle.

Though personally, I prefer ballet.

More to the point.

Though I did try tap dancing once.

Kept falling in the sink.

How did you know?

We found purple velvet fibres at the crime scene.

Then I recalled how you smoked and the cigarette case you carry with its purple

interior.

Malcolm, can you... Malcolm, if this is about the reference, then I can... I'll

call them, or I can get you a better job. It's not about that. It's about

It's about Archie.

I know what happened on Opportunity Call.

Malcolm, what you said about Archie having stage fright that day, may we

that Freddie had something to do with it?

Last week, Archie called me.

We hadn't spoken in years, because he'd gone off the rails when we stopped doing

the act.

He was drinking himself into an early grave.

But he said before he went, he wanted to tell me the truth.

Well, perhaps he can tell us now.

Put that thing down. The night before opportunity calls, all the acts went out

for a drink. We were chatting.

When we got on to the war, Archie never spoke about the war.

But for some reason that night he did.

And he said that he was part of the rifle brigade.

And I remember Freddie kept pushing, asking question after question.

Because Archie was lying.

And Freddie knew that because it was his infantry.

But why would Archie lie?

Because it turned out that he was a conchie.

Which makes sense because he was a man that existed to make people smile.

But Freddie knew what people would think.

So he said to Archie to throw the performance or he'd tell the world the

That was his way of getting rid of the competition. Get back!

No, Malcolm. I know you're upset, but... I always thought you were the talented

one. I never thought he'd have even made it. We're not going to know now, cos

you're swanning off to America and he's in a box in the ground.

Malcolm.

Why don't you... Why don't you tell us what happened last night?

Well, I went to confront him, and we argued about the job before, but that

nothing competitive.

Freddie? You're back.

Like I said, it's my decision.

I decide who stays, I decide who goes. My decision.

Archie's dead.

Who?

Archie.

Who I used to perform with. Oh, yeah.

That loser who bottled it on live TV.

So you struggle to find anyone who cares?

Look, I was so young. I was so stupid, Mal. If I could just take that back,

I... No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't, because you'd happily destroy anybody

gets in your way. And somebody's got to put a stop to that.

Think about Archie.

The person you described.

He was someone who wanted to make others happy, for whom violence was never the

answer.

But what you did to him... I know, but...

I've also no doubt that if he could see you now, consumed by such hatred,

you kill Freddy, that's all that you and Archie will be remembered for.

And given who he was, and what he so strongly believed in,

he wouldn't want this.

Malcolm.

I bet it.

Hey, losers stuck in the past like that.

Still, you got a plane to catch?

No.

No, we don't.

You're not going to America, Freddie.

Ready?

I'd best just go call Joanna.

I'll save you the bother.

I'm going to tell her everything, which means keeping the show here.

Working on being the husband she deserves.

Hey, Giles, let's not rush into any... Also, the move to America meant we never

renewed your UK contract.

I think it's time for some new blood.

No.

What?

Who could replace me?

I think we've earned ourselves a drink.

Oh, affirmative.

Oh, but wait.

Who made it to the prize escalator?

There's been an arrest.

Someone confess?

Look, I'm sorry about... No, I'm sorry.

I wanted to be honest, but the more I got to know you, the more complicated

things became.

But now... If I'm being honest, after

Victoria, I was sure I would never be able to do this again.

But after meeting you, I know I can.

You ready?

An oil lamp.

A fondue set. Yeah.

A tea maker.

A leather suitcase.

Yeah.

That's it. You've won our big cash prize.

Congratulations.

Although...

series does come to an end. So does Freddy's time on the shore. Because of

new horse in town.

Me. So I'll see you next time when once again we'll let the game begin.

Cops.

Thank you.

Well,

seeing

as my bear was defective.

A toast, if you please, to a colleague of mine, one who

has never shied away from a challenge, one who is totally committed to this

constabulary and has taught, even me, a thing or two about

honour and humility.

So, raise your glasses, please.

It's Rex.

Don't worry, I'm sure you're now Great Slaughter Police's second finest member.