Original subtitles

Used all my options, worked off my dues.

Laid all the cards, now there's nothing to lose.

Don't want tomorrow to be like today.

That's why I'm breaking away.

Not trying to run, not trying to hide.

What can I win if I'm losing my pride?

Won't let tomorrow be.

like today that's why I'm breaking away breaking

away got to find a better way

Oh, excuse me. Is that a toenail?

Where? Well, I bloody hope so.

Hey, that piss -poor design needs to flip a slap.

Look, do you have to cut them all over the floor?

No.

We're in Deutschland, mate, aren't we?

Oz, Oz, when you were a small child, right, did your mother never take...

had a mother, you see? Never had a mother, did I?

See?

Sorry, Oz.

God, she's got a mother.

Right now, she'll be in a buckball and mould her arms with a Newcastle brown

ale. That's a lie.

She's never drunk brown ale for years for health reasons.

She had to go on a basketball label for her wife.

Look, could she use a chicken news paper or something?

What for?

Because we've all got to live here, and we don't want your townhouse all over

the place. Well, there may be a bit of bad space there, aren't there? Look.

I'm not,

I'm not, I'm not getting at him. I'm not, not personally, I'm not, not

personally. Nah, nah, he's just the start of this place, right?

Do you know?

It's like a bleeding cause, eh?

A thing or what? It's what wine calls a toilet.

God, it's what wine what?

Look, that's an onion -baked spice, isn't it?

Oh, fuck. I'll get them grilled.

Hey, where? Can I borrow your thingy?

I think I'll be needing it myself, mate. Oh, mind me, what's its name on your

walkabout?

Hey, hey, that's the best thing you've got on your head, right? Dennis, I think

I can offer you something a bit better. Think what?

Five foot six.

Blue eyes, blonde hair, legs up to her armpit. You're not trying to fix Dennis,

you poor one. You're all slugs, are you?

Slugs nothing.

My one's got a nice, respectable friend, right?

Yeah, and she fancies something a bit mature and interesting.

Oh, decrepit.

Yeah, not for you, Dennis.

Anyway, I'm going to meet him down at Tivoli. Well, nothing.

Not because of that tag man, is it?

What?

Just I heard, like, you know, you were having a tea with that tag man.

Oh, no, no, hey.

Hey, you don't want to believe what you hear around here, Moxie. No, it's just

that me and Neville were about to decide to have a go at lemon.

Learning German tonight, see?

She speaks perfect English as well. I've checked some other time, maybe.

See, I've got this teach -yourself cassette, man.

Yeah.

You surprised me, Dennis.

I never thought you'd fly the wee flag in a language war. Fly the what?

Well, you never happened to go and crawl into there, man.

Let them talk English.

Can't take a shower.

It's dropping hair.

Oz!

German shampoo, man.

It's got all me follicles loose.

Well, I suppose I'd better put in a bit of overtime, eh? Take the pair of them

on meself, like.

Wait a minute.

Mature. Ain't rustin'. What about this?

Tonight I'm gonna love someone to death.

What do they call her?

Er, I don't think she's your type, Buzz.

Oh, aye.

Hey, hey, don't take umbrage.

It's just that I don't think you fancy her, you know?

She's a bit upmarket.

Well, that's all right, man.

I'm just the sort of bloke that upmarket tods can for, man. You're not a bit

rough. Hey, Dennis.

Dennis! Yeah? Do you remember that man who dressed for the dry cleaners in

Gosper? Oh, she was no duchess, was she? I don't know.

She had a very refined accent and she wore pearls.

Had a good time with her. Another one short of court, I guess.

Go on, mate, go on. Go on, tag him, will you?

Get the rest of us to get the place cleaned up. She's a bit small for you,

Well...

How are we going to fall out of it?

Now listen.

I want you on your best behaviour, all right? I haven't been on before, you

know. Yeah, yeah, well, no swearing or breaking wind out loud, OK?

All right, all right.

We'll set up a really good cover story for you, won't we?

Huh?

Nathan! Everybody knows you're not going off that sack, man.

Oh, my, you funny man!

What's that, loves?

He doesn't look rich.

No, no, no. He does his best to be like one of the lads, Oz.

See, his father earns the business we all work for, you know.

And Oz takes over when the old man retires, you know.

In the meantime, he's got to work the common brick man just for three months

he learns the business from all sides, like, you know.

Whoa. Right.

Cheers, girls.

It was dry as a boot.

Ben was telling us about your father.

Oh, that bugger.

Oh, that bugger.

Oh, aye.

Good bloke, me old man.

Started from nothing, you know, and built an empire.

Isn't that right, Wayne?

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

I was just telling the girls, you know, one day it'll all be yours.

Oh, yeah, there's...

There's my calpines and wimpies, and then there's us born and son, that's us.

In the meantime, you are just one of the boys.

Look again, Pet, one of the men.

Here, wait a minute.

I'm not trying to keep this up, you know.

You don't think you had that sort of problem on us?

No, no, man, you're not what I'm talking about, man.

Drinking the bird along, man. You're all right, mate. It's just a matter of

establishing your credibility, you know.

The rest is down to your personal magnetism, isn't it?

I don't know why you've got to cut out so soon.

It's actually the best thing. Divide and roll, that's what I always say.

See, I've been spending so much time on your case, I've been neglecting the

lovely idea, haven't I?

Well, look, you'll have to learn there's a couple of hundred.

I thought Nev gave you 50.

He did, he did, but it's not going to last long in this place, at these

is it? I mean, this only looks sophisticated. I mean, to make one

Oh, it is a cut landed, right? Great trick. Now, if that runs out, use your

American Express Gold Guard, all right? Oh, they'll never leave the hut without

it, do they?

All right. All right, girls.

Great, girls.

Yay. Ready for another drinkies?

Yeah, get them in with.

Good and dark, matey.

Guten tag, Benzinbitter.

This here Benzin, 30 liter bitter.

30, that 30? Aye.

That sounds really German, that does, you know.

I really admire you for taking an opportunity for educational advisement,

know. When you get back to England, you could have another string, Jim, eh?

Yeah, I'd be able to order a pestle on the M1 in German.

That is a good idea.

What's that mean?

We're going over the club for a drink.

You coming, Barry?

No, no, no, thanks. I'd better get through this, aren't you?

The permanent press seems to have lost its meaning these days.

Moxie, I'd like to, you know, but I'm skinned.

Oh, don't worry about that, Mox, man. I was paid to fuck that 50 -year -old. Oh,

great.

Oh, no!

What's the matter?

He must have took it back again.

He's got an important date, hasn't he? You never have to.

makes me mad.

He takes advantage of a good night, doesn't he, if you ask me?

To a bloke like Oz of Fever and he walks all over you. Can you see the

footprints up my face?

Well, look, you can't do anything about it tonight, no.

I can, I will.

There's a principal involved here.

Try this on once or twice.

Where do you see it went?

Down the table you was.

Right, I'm off down there.

Auf Wiedersehen, mein friend.

Bollocks.

Strange quirk of fate, this, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, who'd have thought that

who's always hated crowds.

You always hated what?

Crowds. Crowds.

Traffic. I've always liked the countryside, you know.

Oh, I too.

But you were saying about fate.

Yeah, well, I mean, who would have thought?

that I'd be expanding the family empire here in Germany.

Where will you live?

Well, in a hut. You see, we couldn't get any decent hostel accommodation

because... Oh, right, where will I live?

Well, in the mountains, over a river, you know. A small castle would just

do it.

After all, I'm all alone.

Where do you live, Willie?

Oh.

Please, I'd rather not talk about me.

Yeah, you're not married, are you?

Divorced.

Oh, right, aye.

Dennis is getting a divorce.

That's Dennis, one of the lads who works for us, you know.

Oh, it's costing him a fortune in maintenance.

I try to be independent with money.

Uh -huh. I have my own job. Have you?

As a beauty consultant.

Oh, right, right. Well, that's a canny job, isn't it? Hey, listen, you'll have

to do me two nails sometime.

It's hard to be independent with a jealous boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

What is he, a big bloke, is he?

Yes.

But he's not so important as you are.

I've wanted to leave him for a long time.

But he's very possessive.

Well, you know, I can be very possessive myself. You know, when I have to be. I

can be. When the need arises, I can... I want a word with you.

Oh, excuse me. Pet.

Just want a quick word with the chief here.

Oh, is this one of your men?

Yeah, one of the lads. That's about it.

So you're in others' company, huh? Aye, dear knight.

Yeah, look, er... I don't know what you're up to, son. Listen, erm... World

do you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

You're a gentleman.

I know, I know. But, you know, there's no need to tell everybody about it,

Martin. Good night, sir.

Good night, mate.

Now, don't be late in the morning, will you?

Young and daft, you know. Cheers!

Beer, lads?

Why shout now?

No, no problem.

I'll get them in.

Ours just paid us back.

Each? Never.

Like a lamb?

What, Oliver Williams, then?

Seems it's a special occasion.

Aye, actually, I think he was just trying to impress that lass he was with.

And, er, two beers as well, these mates. One beer, yeah. What's your like, eh?

Very tasty, actually.

Aye, you missed something there, then.

Dear Mark, did she behave any chance like?

Seemed to be.

No, the funny thing was her kind of attitude to him.

The way she looked at him, like.

All of her quiver would last, would she?

No, but sort of affectionate.

As if she liked being with him.

God, Buckle.

You know, the older I get, the less I understand women.

I don't know what they want, who they're wanted from.

I know, but... I certainly wouldn't think they'd want it from ours.

You were home early last night, weren't you? I didn't expect

you to come home at 2 then.

I hate to admit it, mate, but I think I was a bit better than me last night.

Never.

Have we had all the gory details yet then? Not a word.

But it seems they're naturally cheerful.

You know, I've never noticed it before, but what a cunning job a German brick

is. You know, firm.

All the edges nice and square.

Every one the same.

Perfect, really.

This is serious.

Well, I suppose it is a bit more symmetrical, eh?

Do you not think the British...

It's got more character.

I don't really.

I've come to respect the German brick.

Gentlemen, the evidence is overwhelming.

Oz is in love.

Hey, man, ever since we came out here, you've been bad -mouthing everything

German. Now, all of a sudden, you're getting all poetic about the bricks.

Ah, well, sometimes, Dennis, you know, certain things happen that make you see

other things in a different light.

What, like Uli, you mean?

Tell us about it, then. Don't give us anything to spend.

Listen, whatever passed between Uli and me is our affair.

Oh, it's your affair now, is it, eh?

I thought it was on the cards when I seen them. Aye.

Now, listen, I'd just like to put the lid on this, if you don't mind, eh?

Because, I mean, there's some relationships you don't want all the

about, you know?

I mean, there's some relationships that you'd like to be kept private and

confidential.

I mean, I thought you would understand that, Dennis. You're the one that's

humping that dog more.

No,

it doesn't have to be a cattle.

I mean, just somewhere with a bit of space, that's all.

You know, a bit of room to breathe, enough room to have a sauna and a pool

table.

Well, my house isn't so large.

Anything that's ever smaller than the county.

Yeah, but it is your own house, isn't it?

Well, of course.

Oh, yeah, of course, of course.

No, but as I say, you see, when I take over the business... When will that be?

Well, er, November.

It's my dad's birthday.

And he'll hand over to me then, you see.

No, but as I say, when I take over the business, I'm not going to have a lot of

time to mess around looking for accommodation.

But you will have a secretary and an assistant.

Yeah, yeah, but I mean, they're going to be stretched to the limit organising

things. I mean, I don't like to really put on to them.

I can see you as somebody who really needs looking after.

Yeah, yeah, I suppose that's me, isn't it? Poor little rich boy.

So, where do you learn to do that then, Bob?

Oh, he picks up a lot of tricks in my time, Bill.

Here we are.

Oh, you're a mate, Bob.

Cheers.

Hey, that's it, canny jumper, man. Hey, I'll tell you what, we can hang it on

the wall, eh, when he's not wearing it. It's very decorative.

Oh, no, you can't.

Oh, cover up that stye for the Lord Moxie, Peter.

Barry. Hey, this is for best, eh?

Whoa. Wait, get it, Oz.

There was a present, didn't you?

She must think a lot of you, eh?

Oh, aye. See, I've just realised now, the character accent here, as far as she

knows, I could be talking the same as a Queen Mother.

Aye.

Must be pretty thick if she thinks you're the Queen Mother.

Hey, shut your face, you. That's my fiancée you're talking about.

Queen Mother?

Huh? Fiancée?

Ah, that's what you call somebody you're going to marry, isn't it? What are you

talking about, man? You're already married.

Aye, in England.

Can't hold that against us here.

What are you going to do about it, then?

About what?

Oh, yeah.

Note. Talk.

Come on, Dan, you've known him the longest.

I've known him long enough to realise he's a lost cause. Look, he doesn't

to a thing I say, eh?

Why waste me breath?

Got the hell in the handbasket for all I care.

This isn't like you, Dan.

Oh, I'm learning fast, kid, you know. I mean, ever since we got out here, I've

been wet nursing that bugger. Right, we all have.

He gets into problems, we have to get him out of them.

Gets into debt, we have to cough up. Aye, but there's other people that can

here this time as well as us.

There's his missus and his other lass. That's still not our business, Neville.

Look, if Oz decides to commit bigamy, that's his business.

First time I want to hear about it in the news of the world, mate.

Oh, dear me, what a miserable pair.

Cheer up, man, it may never happen.

You all right there now?

Look a bit down in the dump, mate.

Feeling a bit homesick, or what?

Don't you ever get homesick, Moxie?

Oh, where they come from, mate.

Two up, two down in Dove City.

With me mother and her latest.

When he sat on the pitch, he's either beaten up the kids or molested me

How different.

How very different from the home life of our own dear Queen, huh?

I've never lived anywhere as bad as this.

Say, Neville.

Coming round to your inexorable logic, my point of view.

Huh? My argument's been working on your unconscious.

What argument?

For a well -considered programme of redecoration for this pig -hole.

What's that got to do with me being homesick?

Well, then you wouldn't be homesick, would you, Neville?

Instead of this place being like a concentration camp, be more like a home.

Not without render it wouldn't.

Anyway, I don't want it to be more like a home. I want it to be homesick.

I enjoys it, buddy.

But I certainly don't want to get fond of this place, do I?

Do you know what you are, Ned?

You're a masochist.

What? It means you're somebody who enjoys pain and discomfort, Neville.

Pain and discomfort.

Now, two words which could well sum up the quality of life in this place, you

know, fellas.

That's what it's taking, you know. Great quality of life.

Quality of beer, that's what I care about.

Oh, you are concerned about standards, then.

Listen, fellas.

I've been doing some calculations, Roger. Now, listen.

I've been doing some calculations, Roger.

And I've found out that each one of us individually spends 100 hours a week in

this pig hole.

100 hours? That's a lifetime.

I've almost attained you to sleep, man.

Makes no difference, Dennis.

Cos even then, your subconscious, it's been seeped into by the depressing

atmosphere. Oh, it oozes into you by osmosis.

I think he's got a point there.

Now, hold on a minute. Let me get this straight, right?

You're on about decorating the art? Correct.

Yeah. Well, let me ask you two questions.

Right, one, where are we going to get the paint? Two, who's going to do the

work? And why are the overgrouping furors going to play about it, eh?

Three questions.

Well, that's all the more reason, isn't it? Look, it would all be done on a

democratic basis, right?

A, we would share the cost.

B, we would share the work. And C, I can't see the open group of viewers

objecting to any improvements around here. Wait a minute, how do you mean

the cost?

I need that money for me spare room.

So the cost, what about the work? You're asking us to come in from our day's

grafting and start all over again.

Come on, look, this place isn't that big, is it?

How much work would it be between the lot of us?

Couple of evenings a week, that's all.

Oh, no, count me out, Barry, because, see, I'm out every night, aren't I? No,

you're not. You're not out tonight.

Yeah, well, tonight's an exception.

You weren't out on Tuesday.

Well, that was another exception, all right. You were here on Monday as well.

You've got a lot of exceptions in our world. Look, I like to pace myself,

you. Oh, why are you pacing yourself?

You can give us a hand with the painting.

Who said you were? Thanking you, Muxer.

Well, I mean, it's not the worst idea I've heard. It'll break the place a

bit. Aye, aye, aye. But it still leaves who's going to pay for it, though,

doesn't it?

Not so much our resources, but the after piece of paint, is it?

What are you getting at, boy?

Under the side of the site.

They've already started painting.

Well, I'll get a picture, and you reckon a bit of that paint could stroll on

over the attic?

That's what I'm going to say.

Never get away with it. No.

Got security on it.

Only to stop at leaving the site.

Yeah, hasn't occurred to him someone to be daft enough to use it on the site,

has it?

I'll be on the bed.

Aye. Aye, you can help me then.

Aye, why?

If it's free, I suppose so. Something to do, isn't it?

Why? Yeah, well, I mean, seeing as we're not paying for it, I suppose it's all

right, yeah.

Could lead to trouble, you know.

Stealing materials from our place of work is dishonest. Oh, how are we here,

Barry? It was your idea in the first place. The quality of life, Barry.

Do you want it or don't you?

On the other hand, I mean, we wouldn't really be stealing it, would we? I mean,

we wouldn't be, like, you know, removing it.

Oh, no, no, we'd be... We'd be taking that paint and... What?

Redistributing it.

And redistribution cannot be construed as theft. Oh, no, not in the proper

sense, no.

Is he in or not?

Oh, I think so.

Oh, well, lads, that's an ugly as no run, that's your worth.

What's the panic like?

Well, you know, all the addicts have started. I mean, it doesn't do it to lag

behind, does it?

Oh, yeah.

Guten Tag, Herr Horisch. Wie geht's?

Mir geht's ganz gut, Osborn.

Und ich bin sehr beeindruckt, dass Sie Deutsch zu sprechen versuchen.

Pardon?

He says he's very impressed, Os, that you're trying to learn German.

Why, well, just a few words. I haven't got that far yet.

Yeah, but you're trying, Osborn. That's good.

Also, you're now starting back to work quickly.

In Germany, just because we have a break does not mean we always take it.

That's great, that is, isn't it? We're on a legitimate break.

He makes it look as if we're skiving.

Don't creep around the Germans, then. Ah, no, but look, since I've been seeing

Uli, bummer, I've seen things in a different light. I mean, I now realise

takes all sorts to make the world. I mean, the average German's all right.

Compared to them Turks.

Oh, it's good to know he hasn't changed that much, bummer, eh? What's wrong with

you, Abdul, sir?

Look, they account for half the crime in German cities. Oh, cobblers.

Have a look around, man. The only dirty parts in this town is the parts where

the Abdulls live. That's not their fault, man. They're over here in a

labour. They get the worst housing, the lowest wages.

They're unclean in their habits, Dennis.

Sorry, partner.

You're still pretty keen on the Zully, then, are you?

Are you still, huh?

I'm not saying she's not unattractive, but you are a married man, aren't you?

Oh, how we're never, man.

We got married too young, man. We stuck it out for eight years. That's long

enough. I mean, let's face it. Me and Marjorie's not exactly Charles and

is we?

No. I mean, I don't kid myself.

Marjorie's a bit flighty.

She's still seen that bloke from the breweries, you know.

Well, you should have put her stop there that long time ago.

What have you seen the size of him?

He lives ten barrels up with one hand, man.

This is!

I've all got to agree on one decent colour.

It's as simple as that, isn't it? Well, I like pink.

Oh, never mind.

One friend of me was on a honeymoon and the hotel room was pink.

Why don't I live in a pink room? It's not a man's colour.

What are the Erics and the Adels going to think if they find out Oswald are

living in a pink shed?

They're doing my reputation a lot of harm. That little grain is not. No.

It's soothing, this grain.

Right, how's this?

Each bloke can have the bit round his bed the colour he likes.

Right, I'll have my bit pink.

Wait a minute. When I wakes up, I look straight at that bit of wall behind your

bed. I'll be seeing pink.

And that'll make him see red, won't it? Oh, yeah, man.

Look, man, we can't have the hood decorated in stripes. That's balmy, man.

spoken, Dennis. We've got to agree on one different colour.

Look, I have actually worked out a way of doing it. Right, look.

Now, listen, look.

I've got a list of colours, right?

Now, I've got a colour for first choice and a colour for second, right? Now,

each colour gets two points, two points for first choice and one for second,

right? No, no, no.

We used this method when we elected the chairman of the West Bromwich and

District Sunday Methodist Table Tennis League.

Ah, well, Barry, it's tried and tested then, isn't it?

Huh? Yeah.

Oh, hey, come here, Barry. The suspense is killing us.

Be a bit patient, Moxie.

Apparently, the polls are predicting purple.

Aye, well, the polls don't have to live in our hut, do they? Have you changed in

place for a moment?

I is returning officer for the weekend.

Come on, come on, get on with it. All right, all right.

The votes is cast as follows.

The winner is yellow.

Yellow? By one point. Who voted yellow?

I don't like yellow.

Me neither, it's not a man's colour. It's a fiddle. I demand a recount.

Figures don't lie, you know. So whose first choice was it then, eh?

Nobody. Well, then how could it win?

Because those two people had the same first choice.

So everybody's first choice only got two points?

That's right.

And yellow got three second places.

Well, that's a smashing system that is, Bonnie, isn't it? Everybody gets what

nobody wants.

It's democracy, Dennis.

Don't talk about it.

I couldn't help it.

I'm back to them.

Yeah.

They're totally bloody.

I don't think this place is better to climb it.

Yeah, but the job's worth doing. It's worth doing.

Could have got carts, you know.

It's going to have to be a bloody site more slippery than that when we get the

paint.

We do that under cover of darkness, won't we, Moxie?

What's this, then?

It's the work roster.

See, it's two of us every night, right?

Tonight, it's me and Mox, right? And tomorrow, day two, it's Neville and

All right, all right, I can read.

As long as they're not on tonight.

Because tonight, Bummer's going to get his weary muscles relaxed with a good

massage.

Hey, bummer.

You're not getting fed up with that massage parlor. Oh, I don't got a one,

Dennis. I circulate my stuff.

One of the German lads had taken me over to Crayfield today.

Makes a change.

So, how do you know I'm free tomorrow night, then, eh? Well, aren't you?

As a matter of fact, I am, yeah.

That could have been a very false assumption.

I'd swap with somebody else, couldn't you? Look, I've written down the bottom

here, right?

Provisions for alternative arrangements.

But who's that? What's it?

What, we're going to put up with the smell of that, aren't we? Before you'd

over your own, you didn't think, eh?

Give her a few tips on how to behave with a British upper classes.

Oh, she can't see us. Delita's got to go and see her mum.

Oh, I can just imagine it as it happens, Oz.

Mother, I'm going out with this rich British tycoon who's pretending to be a

poor slug with a brickie. Well, that was your idea, that's so.

Oh, he's just jealous of us.

Well, can I beam up my lad bomber, can you?

Oh. What do you think?

Oh, he likes it.

Here. I'm not jealous of the rollicking you're going to get when she tumbles

you, Squire.

Right. Bummer's away.

Hey, Bob, I'll be here in the pub over the road.

Want to drop in there and then we'll be back, yeah?

Might do, Dan.

Give you a first -hand account.

First -hand?

Going to be one of me witty evenings.

Which nights will you be seeing your intended Oz? Because I've got to fit you

into the roster.

No, no, just leave me off that because I can't see me being in here much longer.

Well, I mean, me and Uli will be moving in together.

It's just after the royal wedding.

Soon as possible, really.

Is that what she wants?

Aye. Well, she's pretty keen on moving to England, you know, but I'll have to

talk her out of that one.

No, no, you're right there, Ros, you know. Might blow your cover, eh?

I mean, you can't see her last like that in a high -rising gatehead, can you?

I'd steer well clear of gates, Ed, if I were you, son.

Good evening, my lord.

Good evening.

Ah, you English.

The English are always welcoming.

I will get someone to take good care of you.

What do you want?

We met before, my dear.

I do not think so.

My name is Uli.

He does look relaxed. He's done your neck a power good, is it, sunshine?

Can I have one of you, Chief?

Sure.

Sarge Ryan?

No, he's over the hood, helping with the decorating.

Lying on his bed, criticising.

Very good at interior decor, Harold.

Mother -in -law?

It's a bit awkward.

I think this should go no further.

What?

I met Uli tonight.

Uli? What was his Uli? I thought you'd went to a massage parlour. I did.

That's the point.

Never.

She works there?

I'd go by the looks of it.

I believe it.

I met her through that ID, you know.

What, has she no deal as well? No, no, no, no. She works on the cosmetic

at Millers. She does.

Well, at least I hope she does.

Certainly smells like it.

Look, are you sure it was her, Bob?

Her name was Uli, and I recognised her from the photograph.

So she's not a beauty consultant?

What do you think she does round there, son, eh?

Facials?

It gets worse.

According to my mate Deary, who took me there, her boyfriend's a bloke at Owen's

place.

Nasty piece of work, he looks.

So shall I do him?

You extol him, don't you?

Yeah, I'll call it poetic justice, myself.

We're going to tell him.

Suppose I'll have to, eh?

Well, us might be very upset, you know.

Emotionally.

That's how we bring about, isn't it?

I've got something to shout at you, look.

Hang on a minute, lads.

We'll be back, we'll be back.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

Hey, guys, can I have a word with you?

Well, I'm done in the... What?

Oh,

I like that.

You're not going to put that up in here, are you?

Why not?

What's Brenda going to think?

She won't see it, will she?

I'm surprised at you, though, Barry.

I wouldn't have thought that was in your taste, son.

I bought it for the technique, Wayne.

To be quite honest, I didn't really notice the subject.

Do you know, you're the only geezer I know that could say that, and I believe

him. Oh, thank you, Wayne.

That wasn't a compliment, Barry.

Well, I thought it was.

What's it for?

It's a very good question, Moxie.

What is art for?

Essentially, I think it's to make our life more rich and fulfilled, you know.

Tell you what, I also kicked that drive down from over my bed.

Must have set you back a few bucks.

Fifty marks?

For a real art painting, I don't believe it. It's not an art painting.

No, it's a new reproduction process.

Oh, if this wasn't original, you know.

It'll be priceless.

Looks real enough to me.

Well, that's the new process.

Yeah.

Yeah, the fellow I got it from was telling me all about it.

It's the biggest breakthrough in synthetic oil painting reproduction

ever been.

Oh, all right, we believe you.

Yeah, see, what they do is, right, they start with a photograph, right?

But that doesn't give you the, you know, like the depth that you need to create

the real impression of oils. So, then what they do is they photograph it,

from two other angles.

Oh,

they're minutely different.

Now, the real skill, you see, comes in the combination of those

three photographs, right?

Scientifically, it's something that...

Look, mate, if it's any consolation to you, there's only me who never knows

about this.

And Bomber, of course.

And, er, Wayne.

Well, that's sort of frigging hot, isn't it? Well, none of us ever sort of

shouted from the rooftop, have we?

She's made a right fool of me, hasn't she?

Well, she's had a bit of help from you, Oz.

Still, nice last word then, you know.

I mean, not just looks, you know.

Clothes. Department.

That sort of thing.

Cut above what I'm used to.

Well, maybe it's all for the best, man. I mean, you know, considering your home

circumstances.

I'll just put her out of your mind, man.

It's not that easy, though.

No.

So what's the trail, lad?

How did you find me here?

Never mind. I'll get you a coat on. I want to talk to you.

I cannot. Perhaps later.

Later? I think the sooner the better. Do you not?

Good evening.

Evening. Ah, you English.

The English are always welcome here.

The gentleman is not staying.

Is that not so?

Well, apparently not.

But listen, we've got to have a talk.

There's things to be said, isn't there? Look, I'll be in the Tivoli tomorrow

night.

No excuses.

The old magic's still there, you know.

What do you think, Ned?

I think we're all going to get caught.

I think it's a touch too high myself.

I'd better... I'll lengthen the string.

Shh,

shh, shh.

I'm coming along the other way.

Let's hope nobody else can.

Hey, it's all right.

They're playing cards.

Get them off.

Well done, lad.

All the coins are back.

Aye, perfect.

Needs a calmer thing like this, doesn't it? Needs an earth of steel.

Oh, yeah, you handled yourself very well, son, eh? Hanging round the earth.

Still an accessory, why? I've got a bloody handbag. Hey, I did the padlock,

The old magic's still there.

Is it the right colour?

That's never yellow.

That looks more like grey.

But I'll ship grey.

I don't think anybody buys you for grey.

Well, I'm not having grey.

Reminds me of prison.

Bully?

What, you? You English bastard.

Let's go check out the gym!

What are you talking about, man? He's one of them. Aye.

Well, whatever he said, he's made them change their mind.

I reckon you owe them a bit of an apology.

We've been running them down.

Oh, someone give us a clap, will you?

Fair do's us. I reckon you ought to go round here in the morning and say

then. Aye, I took them a bookie of flies like they're little nut.

Listen, mate, one of them have those tries of sticking out in me guts, right?

They know that one stops them. That makes it even steeping as far as I'm

concerned. Right back with you. Don't step into making it work.

This man saying, him taking my woman, I cutting him. So what?

What you lads say? I saying, no cutting him. He's our friend, working

together. But he says, no, him taking my woman, I cutting him. Very mad.

Very mad.

How did you change his mind?

I saying, quick.

He's not taking your woman.

He loving this man.

He's not taking any woman. He has nothing with women.

What?

What?

He's nothing for women.

What's he talking about? Nothing for women, this man.

Very ingenious. No, he's laughing. Go away.

Hey, hey, Dennis.

Here. What are you on about here?

Said you were a punk now.

You look like you could do with that.

Cheers. Cheers, Ben.

Did he do that to you, did he?

I'm not surprised.

Bloody maniac.

He'd come after me with a knife, you know.

Yes, he told me.

Did he tell you about what the... What the Turk said?

Yeah.

Well, I suppose we're only trying to help, you know. What a bloody cheek,

though.

I didn't tell him that I know better.

Look, I'm sorry I lied to you.

I want to explain.

You were my only chance to get out.

To go to England, where he could hurt me.

He must have been pretty desperate to pick a bloke like me.

But you were nice and kind.

Yeah, and rich.

Oh, no, that had nothing to do with it.

Really?

Well, of course.

Cos, er, it wasn't true, you know.

No?

Nah.

Well, you weren't the only one that sort of made things out to be, er, you know,

a little bit different to what they were.

Listen, I'm not any tycoon's son.

My dad hasn't even got a business.

No? Nah, nah.

My old man was a layabout and a drunk. He buggered off when I was a bin.

Last thing I saw of him was hunting around the house for a pair of socks

to pissing up to the Persian Gulf on an oil tanker.

See, I spun that whole yarn just to try and impress you,

you know.

Kept it all going just to keep you.

Well, I feel better that you also didn't tell the truth.

Well, you might as well know the lot. I'm married as well.

You're married?

Officially. Only in England, mind.

You know.

But, I mean, you've got somebody as well, haven't you? I mean, you've got

Kamal bloke.

Yes, I have Kamal.

Right.

Look, only, I mean, the main thing is you've got to give this bloke the elbow,

haven't you? You've got to give him the heave -ho, the push, the shove, you

know.

Leave the bugger.

You know, I mean, try to pack it back and try a new town.

It's difficult.

I know, I know, but I thought maybe, you know, when this is all blown over, I

thought maybe we could pick it up where we left off.

Maybe, huh?

But, you know, Kamal is a bad man, and I don't want any more trouble for you.

No. He's not caused me any more trouble. He's not caused you any more trouble

either. He's only one man, you know.

But he has two brothers, and they're all bad people.

Yes, but I've got six mates.

And if we count the whole building site, that's nearly 100.

I don't think the Kamal brothers will want to mess with that lot.

Being in the building business, you know, it's easy for us to see how flimsy

this construction is.

Isn't that right, lads?

Oh, aye, yeah.

It's definitely jetty built.

I could sneeze if you fall down. What I'm saying is, you see, we're just as

at demolishing as we are at construction.

You are threatening me?

Aye, that's the word.

Listen, you lay one more finger on that girl, right, and he'll hit you so hard,

your family will feel it back in Istanbul.

She might try munching, she said.

That's near Munich, apparently.

Got a friend there, you know.

Oh, lad.

Maybe you're tall for the best hours.

Maybe. Maybe he's not, though.

I had to put that pint back in there.

It seems to me they're affecting me sinuses.

Oh, shut your yap, will you, man, you snivelling little git.

There's people in here that's got more important things than that in their

minds, you know.

Hold on.

Yeah, you won't have any more problems in that department.

Yeah, we've got a little surprise for you, I know, Barry.

Boy might cheer you up, son. Oh, what's this?

Huh?

Working on the site, the morning till night.

That's living all right, that's living all right.

That's living all right. That's living all right.

Working all day for a bit to pay.

Then blow it on a Saturday night.

And you kiss the Danes, but you don't ask their names. That's living all

Working in the sun, drinking schnapps, having fun.

That's living all right.

Do you keep a little here just to keep you in beer?