Original subtitles

NARRATOR: Previously:

[CHUCKLES]

Will you marry me?

Yes.

I want to pay.

I want to pay for the whole thing, okay?

Tommy, I do not want her to pay for our daughter's wedding.

We're taking Sheila's money,

and Colleen's going to have the greatest day

in the history of all the days that she's ever gonna have.

Okay. Here's what I have to say to you.

I think you're awesome,

and I have such a fantastic time with you--

I think you're awesome, too.

But here's the thing.

After we, you know, have sex,

amazing sex, by the way.

The best sex I've had in my entire life,

it's, there's this--

It's the smell, right?

The penetration gives me gas.

Our friend Tommy has been writing lately.

[SNIFFING]

Letters.

And it is only in the event of his death

we can actually read them.

I read mine already.

I went to Sheila's, and I gave her the letter

because I knew that she was totally pissed at you.

And look, it turned everything around.

And then, I knew that Janet wanted to kill you,

so I went over there, and I gave her the letter.

I wanted to do something that you can't, Tom,

which is to express your real feelings for people

while you're still alive.

This is my day, okay?

The most important day in my life so far.

So please, no yelling, no drinking,

no finger-pointing, no fist punching,

and I forgot, Uncle Teddy's walking me down the aisle now.

Heh, what?

[PLAYING VIOLIN]

[SIGHS]

Relax, will you?

It will all be over in a couple of hours.

Those your folks?

Yep.

Hmm.

I didn't know your mom was Puerto Rican.

Mexican.

Oh.

You didn't think that was information

you should have shared with the in-laws before the big day?

Not when the in-laws are a bunch of racist,

drunk-ass micks.

We're not racist, okay?

We're a little bit narrow-minded and intolerant.

Hey, don't forget.

My mother thinks you're a real priest.

Well, I was, once.

What forced you out? The booze?

Well, a little bit of that, you know.

Mostly the scandals, the cover-ups, the dogma.

Missed the pussy, didn't you? Oh, God, yeah.

And you will, too,

after three years of marriage.

Well, mop off, will you?

You look like shit.

Right, ahem.

Shawn's parents are, like, really nice, aren't they?

Yeah, aren't they?

His father's really black though, you know.

I don't mean in attitude. I mean in color.

He's not that black.

Lou, when I met him,

I had to stop and make sure my eyes were open.

[CHUCKLES]

I think his mom being Mexican is the real surprise.

Yeah. Like, wouldn't even have known she was Mexican

unless he told us. Me neither.

Until I saw her tunneling under the front gate.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, why can't a Mexican become a firefighter?

They can't tell the difference

between Jose and hose B.

[BOTH LAUGH]

All right, look, you assholes. Cut it out, all right?

You're invited guests at a family function.

Grow up and act like it.

Hey, interesting little side note.

We're not at work, douche,

and you're no longer lieutenant.

So... suck it.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I don't do that, man.

I wouldn't want to encroach on your area of expertise.

Listen, if I hear one more Mexican joke,

I swear to God, you guys are both in deep shit.

[SCOFFS]

The closest bathroom's a mile away.

Yeah. Where'd you come, by way of New Delhi?

What? What is up with that jacket?

You like that, eh?

Yeah. It looks like you just joined a boy band, Kato.

Okay. Proves my theory

that you absolutely know nothing about style.

This is the latest thing, my friend.

It is hip. It is trendy.

Does it come with a gay Asian lover,

or do you provide that yourself?

[ALL LAUGH]

Just curious about that one.

Mike, is that jacket gay or what?

Don't answer that.

It's really gay.

Who's this guy?

[SEAN & MIKE CHUCKLE]

That's our cue. We gotta go, Tom.

Nobody's going anywhere, okay?

Daddy, we discussed this already.

Not to my satisfaction, okay?

I mean, I'm here, I'm ready, I'm willing, and I'm able.

I would like to know why I can't walk my own daughter

down the aisle at her wedding.

Because Uncle Teddy is walking me down the aisle.

Come on, guys. We gotta go. Katy, you and--

What's your name again, kid? Jose.

Christ, a black kid with a Mexican name.

You're a one-man crime spree waiting to happen.

What did you say, pendejo?

You can knife me later.

Let's go. Come on.

Daddy, go sit down.

Honey, Colleen has made her choice.

Please respect it.

Okay, listen to me, all right?

I have had nothing to drink.

Today, all I've had is coffee,

an ocean of coffee, all right?

I went to three meetings this week.

Why? Give me one reason why.

You don't have-- Oh, my God.

It's because we're all afraid

that you're not going to make it

to the altar, okay?

Pfft, what?

Just go sit down.

Do your family a favor

and let your ass do the talking

instead of your mouth. all right?

Let's go.

What is she talking about?

Honey, the pressure.

There is a lawn full of people out there staring at you.

I know. The heat.

Your daughter on your arm.

The fact that she's leaving. The whole nine yards.

We're all afraid that you might pass out.

[WHISPERS] We gotta go.

You nearly fainted at her junior prom.

Listen, it was 110 degrees out,

and her date looked like John Gotti Jr.

I wasn't about to pass out.

I was about to have an aneurysm, okay?

You passed out and cut your head on the counter

when Katy sliced her fingertips open with a steak knife.

I think you lost more blood than she did.

Okay.

Do I need to remind you

I tripped over the Malibu Barbie, okay?

Mom said you passed out in the delivery room

the day I was born. I was shitfaced.

I'm not gonna drink today.

I'm not gonna drink. I'm not gonna faint.

Tommy, do what's best for your family right now, please,

and go sit down and let Colleen walk down that aisle

without an incident.

Oh, now you sound like a cop.

I am.

Okay, you never put your family first.

You didn't take that desk job, and you didn't take a nice,

safe training job like I asked.

And now, you are not respecting your daughter's wishes

to get down that aisle without any drama.

Going to ruin the flowers.

I have $300 right here that says I will make it down the altar.

Come on. Let's go.

You want to wager? Let's wager.

Let's go, Rickshaw. D'brickshaw.

Call me whatever you want.

Honestly, Tom. I'm appalled.

Daddy, go sit down.

ALL: Oh!

[♪♪]

She's beautiful.

Holy shit.

Just remember, shit for brains,

you fall, I ain't catching you.

The only way I'm going down is if you shoot me again, asshole.

Okay, Dad? Yeah.

Good.

You okay? Yeah, I'm great.

Thanks.

You sure you ain't been drinking?

Not a drop. Not a drop.

I love you, daddy.

I love you, too, honey.

You okay? Yeah. Great.

I'm good. Good.

Ahh.

Hey, you made the bet.

Thank you.

Well, what better way to start a Gavin family wedding

than with a well-won wad of cash?

Dearly beloved.

[THE VON BONDIES "C'MON, C'MON" PLAYING]

♪ On another day C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ With these ropes I tied Can we do no wrong? ♪

♪ Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone ♪

♪ Things were good When we were young ♪

♪ With my teeth locked down I can see the blood ♪

♪ Of a thousand men Who have come and gone ♪

♪ Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone ♪

♪ Things were good When we were young ♪

♪ Is it safe to say? ♪ ♪ C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ Was it right to leave? ♪ C'mon, c'mon ♪

♪ Will I ever learn? ♪ ♪ C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ C'mon, ¢'/mon C'mon, cmon ♪

[♪♪]

Hey, what are you doing?

Tom, it's not what you think. This isn't for me.

I was grabbing one for a friend.

A friend that lives at the bottom of your esophagus.

Nice try, asshole.

Hey, honey.

This is-- Tell her this--

It never ends, does it?

All right. Emergency family meeting.

Let's go. Everybody. Go.

Go.

All right. Listen.

We're surrounded by booze,

which means we're surrounded by temptation.

But nobody panic, because I got a plan.

JOSE: What's going on?

Hey! You got a knife on you?

No. Well, I do

so don't try anything.

Huh!

I heard someone called a family meeting.

It's Gavin only family.

What? It's booze related, kid.

You don't wanna get involved.

Hey, if it's booze-related,

you can count my ass in.

Now, here's how I think we should get it done.

First, we hit the champagne fountain.

Get a little buzz going.

Then, we make our way over to the vodka luge,

hit that nasty bitch hard.

Talking lke Turner hard.

Then, we get busy on the Hennessy.

I don't think they're serving Hennessy.

They're not.

But I got a couple cases out in the car.

BYOC baby.

"Cc"? Cognac.

Tell you what. You get started.

We'll catch up with you later, all right?

Got it, fam.

TOMMY: Okay. Bye.

We really going to catch up with him later,

as in drinking? No, you moron.

What's wrong with you?

I think we should drink today.

Matter of fact, we should all get a free pass

this one day only.

A one day pass. Yeah.

You know what? That's not a bad idea.

Yeah. This is a joyous family occasion.

I mean, face it.

How many more of these are we gonna have?

From here on in, it's probably divorce,

rehab, cancer, mostly of the balls.

All right. No one is drinking, not even me, all right?

Thank you. Champagne?

Beat it, sister.

Mm, new rule, champagne doesn't count.

Champagne it is then!

I meant for me.

I can drink a shitload a champagne.

Champagne is kid stuff.

It's like wine soda.

This could work!

All those in favor of champagne only.

Oh, are you guys nuts? Come on, knock it off.

Champagne is booze.

Champagne is booze.

The only person who gets to drink is Sheila.

The only person who gets to drink is Sheila.

Knock it off Tommy!

I was just reinforcing your rule, honey.

One day's worth of wine soda, Jan.

Come on. Why not?

This from the man who threw a dining table

out a window at Bill McPhee's wedding three years ago?

Yeah. How about the armoire that you threw out the window

at Kelly O'Brien's wedding the year before that?

It's wrong to have a specialty?

Besides, I was drinking whiskey both those times, not wine soda.

Hey, listen. There is going to be no drinking at all, okay,

because I did not pay for this whole shebang

so that you guys could get shitfaced,

start insulting people, sleeping with waitresses,

and making drunken speeches. Right, Janet?

Right.

That's all we need, a bunch of drunken Gavins

getting into fistfights, breaking windows,

and making Mexican jokes.

Why would we tell Mexican jokes?

Shawn's mother's a wetback.

Really?

Hey, what do you get when you cross a Mexican

with an octopus?

What did Janet just say?

Jesus Christ.

I swear to God,

I'll bounce each and every one of your asses

right out of this place, all right?

No more drinking, no fighting, and no Mexican jokes, all right?

All right. One Mexican joke.

Get it out of your system.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure picks a shitload of lettuce!

[LAUGHING]

Knock it off, goddamn it. It's not funny, all right?

Best behavior from here on in. That means you.

Don't do the thing you always do.

What thing I always do at weddings?

Let me put it this way, sweetheart.

Just catch the bouquet not an STD.

Hey, can I help it if I get romantic at weddings?

There's just always something in the air.

That thing in the air is your legs.

Okay, that's not funny.

Okay, stop it.

Now, for one day only, we are not Gavins, okay?

You are nice, decent, civilized human beings.

[ALL SCOFF]

No booze, no wine soda.

Forks and knives, napkins in laps,

and two feet on the floor at all times.

And if any one of you ruins my daughter's big day,

your last breath on this earth will be through my two hands.

Yeah.

Hors d'oeuvres? Yes, please.

All right. Bring it in.

No booze on three. One, two, three!

ALL: No booze!

[♪♪]

What's with the three amigos?

I don't know. Black Shawn's parents paid for them.

See those outfits? Ridiculous.

Excuse me, waiter? Can I get some more champagne?

Sheila, it's me.

Oh! Well, I'm sorry.

Well, you're wearing the same thing as the waiters.

Don't be ridiculous.

This is a very expensive jacket.

It is? Yes.

Can I get you something, miss?

Yes. I would like a champagne with a champagne back.

Sure.

What?

At least I got a reason.

[LAUGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Such a, uh...

Just a...

great wedding day.

Yeah. It's very nice.

Yes. Yes.

You know, we love Colleen.

Yes we do. She's lovely.

Just lovely.

Thank you Doreen.

Ah!

Anh? Ah?

Dorena.

Dorena.

Right.

Yes. Dorena. Dorena.

Sorry.

That's a pretty name, Dorena.

JANET: Yeah.

So, Dorena, um, I understand that you're an Octigan.

Mexipus.

From Mexico.

Yes. I'm Mexican.

That's nice.

We're assuming you like Shawn.

Oh, yes. We didn't tell you that?

No, you didn't.

Oh.

We love Shawn.

Don't we, Tommy?

Huh?

Shawn. Garrity. Moron.

Shh, their Shawn.

Black Shawn. Your Shawn.

You know what?

The kid is just...

I don't even know what to say.

He's just--

Yeah. When's the baby due?

What? They... Oh, my God.

They didn't say-- Colleen didn't--

No, no, no. You.

Oh, that's right.

Yes. Uh... You scared us.

For a second there, I thought... Wow.

Yeah. About a week and a half.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, oh, wow.

Not that I mean, of course--

We would have been happy with you in our family.

Yes.

Well, someday soon,

we'll all become grandparents.

Yes. Yeah, we will. We will. And--

So Colleen and Shawn's kids.

What color you think they're gonna be?

Excuse me? I'm sorry.

Ken Shea. I'm a friend of Tommy's.

He works with me. He works with me.

What color, off the top of your head--

We were in the middle of a conversation here.

Well, I'm only bringing it up

because you mentioned it to me a couple of months ago.

You were concerned about the color of your grandchildren?

No. No.

No, no, no. No. no.

I was excited and curious,

which is why I was talking to the guys at the firehouse,

because to me, Black Shawn always talked to me

about the black rainbow, and I was like,

"Wow, what color are these kids going to be?"

You know what I mean? Black or purple or--

Why would they be purple?

Did I say purple?

[CHUCKLES]

You know why I said purple?

Because I was thinking of this color, which is lavender,

which is the color of the president's lips,

which-- Who I love. Voted for him.

Love his...

but that's again, who cares?

Black, white, Mexican, I don't-- You know.

Mexican isn't really a color.

No, it's not.

It's not a color. You know what it is?

I'll tell you what it is.

Well, I don't have to tell you,

but it's an attitude. It's an approach.

You know what I mean? It's like, hey, I'm a Mexipus,

and I'm here, and I'm here to work 14, 16, 18,

you know, uh, you can't have a place like this.

You think this is an Irish guy's, no,

it's, you know, all this lawn and everything?

It's your people making, you know, everything.

Probably these flowers,

I mean, you know, which are beautiful.

Which really--

It was nice meeting you both.

Uh, it's...

[GLASS CLINKING]

[PEOPLE WHOOPING]

Yeah.

Check 1, 2,1, 2. Oh!

Isn't that lovely?

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

it's time to toast to our newlyweds.

I'd like to please welcome Shawn's best man,

our older brother, D'brickshaw.

Hey.

Kanye West.

Thank you. Thank you so much, one and all.

And you are so welcome here.

I am Sheila, Colleen's Auntie Sheila.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, my God. Doesn't she just look so beautiful

and so gorgeous and so grown-up?

Yay!

Which makes the rest of us really, really old.

But what I really want to say, folks,

is that I am so glad that I paid for the dress

and for the party and for the whole thing today.

But nobody needs to know about that,

okay, because it's very gauche.

Please don't ask me about it again.

Please, I beg of you.

I just have so many things that I want to say.

I was married once,

to the love of my life, James Keefe.

Oh, my God.

His name still sounds like music to me.

It really does.

Oh, God.

And we loved to go to weddings together.

We just did. Because it reminded us

of how we wanted to renew our vows at our 20th anniversary,

which I celebrated last year alone.

But I do not want to let that plan go to waste

or this whole great, fabulous day,

these good feelings, right?

Don't want to let it go to waste.

So I've been thinking there are two people

that mean so much to me.

They have recently recommitted to each other.

And they have decided

to make one more crazy goddamn shot at it

for the thousandth time.

So... Tommy, Janet,

hey, you guys, I'm talking about you.

[SHEILA CHUCKLES]

What do you say, huh?

Why don't you renew your vows

right here, right now?

What do you say?

[GROANS]

Can I talk to you outside?

Okay? Oh, no you may-- Ow!

You may not talk to me outside.

I'm more interested in what the two of you think.

What do you say?

Come on! We want another wedding!

We want a wedding!

ALL: We want a wedding!

SHEILA: We want a wedding. Whoo!

We want a wedding. Whoo! We want a wedding. Whoo!

No, no, no.

Listen. I appreciate the sentiment.

You know, it's obviously a very emotional day.

But it's not as if I haven't at some point,

you know, actually thought about,

you know, one day, Janet and I maybe,

you know, renewing our vows.

But, you know, it's-- You have?

Think...

Yeah, I have. But today's Colleen's day, right?

Yes. Yes. And we appreciate the thought.

Really? 'Cause you know, I paid for this whole wedding,

which I asked you not to talk about.

Uh-huh.

Well, the kids, right?

Just... Why don't we keep it.

Don't touch this microphone.

Mom? Dad?

Yes?

Hey! Oh.

Here you go.

Thanks. Oh.

This has been probably the most perfect day of my life so far,

and the only thing that can make it more perfect,

and the greatest wedding gift that you guys could give us

and me and Katy

would be if you guys renewed your wedding vows.

Please.

Well, honey, you know what?

It's not just about you today.

I know it's your day, but it's also,

it's purple Shawn's-- Not purple Shawn--

I'm cool with it.

Yeah. I'm-- Let's go.

We don't have a priest, so... Uncle Mickey's here.

We don't have a real...problem.

We're gonna have a real problem,

because isn't there a law

against doing more than one marriage--

No, no. I'm good with it.

Daddy?

TOMMY: Yeah?

KATY: Please?

It would make me so happy.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Why not?

[ALL CHEERING]

And Tommy's vows written for Janet.

[, Janet Gavin...

[, Janet Gavin.

Do hereby promise.

Do hereby promise.

To do everything my husband says sexually.

No, no, no. no.

No, that's an "x." No, that's an "r."

It's an "x." He has bad handwriting.

"Seriously." To... It says se-seriously.

"Seriously, sweetheart.

"I tried to write nice vows,

"only they came out sappy and a little gay.

"So what I'm gonna do instead

"is beg you to marry me again,

"because I love you, and I've always loved you,

"and you are the hottest woman I have ever known,

"especially in that dress.

"So, please, Aw.

please, marry me again."

SHAWN: All right, Tommy.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

And Janet's vows to Tommy.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I, Tommy Gavin.

I, Tommy Gavin.

Promise to love and protect.

Promise to love and protect.

Honor and obey. Honor and obey.

And never, ever, ever, ever...

And never, ever, ever...

Ever. You missed off an ever.

Oh, I kind of... Ever.

Do any of the insane things I've done in the past.

Won't do any of the things I did in the past.

Insane things I've done in the past.

I won't do any of the insane things

I've done in the past.

Including drinking...

I will not drink.

Smoking. I haven't had a cigarette--

Smoking.

Smoking. I won't smoke.

Or having extramarital affairs

be they with women inside or outside the family.

It's me he's talking about. Me. Ha, ha.

[CHUCKLES]

Shh.

So by the power vested in me by the state of New York--

Oh. Actually there's more on the other side.

Oh.

Oh, there's more.

I also make a solemn promise to...

Heh, I also make a solemn promise to...

What?

Retire from active duty... What?

And take a desk job downtown, a training job,

or any other job within the department

that will keep me out of harm's way

for the sake of my family.

Honey, uh... That's the way...just...

[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I'm not... I can't do...

[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Uh, honey.

Honey.

Honey.

[GRUNTS]

I'm gonna start drinking and become a prostitute.

Honey, I'll do it.

KATY: You will? Yes.

Honey. Yes? Yes.

[ALL CHEERING]

If anybody here who knows why these two people

shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony,

let them speak now or ever hold their--

Let's just skip that part.

I now repronounce you man and wife.

[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

Hey. Hey, pal.

The head's around the corner.

No, listen. Hey. You seen Emily?

No. Okay. I need your advice.

I need you to be the voice of reason for me right now.

Me? Yeah, I know. I'm doomed.

Here's the thing.

You know, at a wedding like this

when everybody's all happy and lovey and feeling all good,

and you start thinking about your own life and all that shit?

That's what I'm doing. And here's what I think.

I'm gonna ask Emily to marry me.

Huh? Good idea? Bad idea?

Dude, she stinks.

Whoa. Hey. Only after sex, okay?

And to be honest with you, I'm starting to not smell it.

I mean, of course, I smell it.

It's like a trash dump in a third world nation.

But that's not the point.

The point is, it's like I feel like it's a sign or something

that I'm doing something right, you know? It's weird.

I can meet some other chick right now

and bang the hell out of her,

and afterwards, if she doesn't smell like a...

like a toxic waste facility,

I'd think I was doing something wrong, okay?

This thing, man. It's not just an eye-watering,

nasty, horrific, soul-sucking fart anymore.

You know? It's...

It's the smell of love, man. Love.

Sean, listen. Take my advice.

You know, you gotta sleep on this.

I mean, if you marry Emily, and you guys have kids,

what if they're farters too?

Then you'll be stuck with, like,

a really stinky family forever.

So you're saying...

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm gonna do it.

Thanks, man. Good talk.

You're always there for me.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Ooh.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[SHEILA CRYING]

No one is ever gonna want me.

No one is ever gonna touch me.

No one is ever gonna marry me ever again.

[CONTINUES CRYING]

You leave this bed, Ugh.

I swear to Christ,

I will cut your balls off and sew them to a dog. Sit down.

[WHIMPERS]

Will you please hold me?

I don't think that's such a good idea--

Will you just hold me?

I'm hurting! Have some kindness!

[CRYING]

This is not the way that things were supposed to end up.

I'm a bridesmaid at somebody else's wedding,

[WHIMPERS]

someone who is young enough to be my daughter.

Ah. Honey.

This is not what it looks like.

Hello. Well, it looks like

you and Sheila on a bed with your pants undone.

This is dinner-related.

This is not cock-related.

I mean, could we be having sex? She's crying.

Don't answer that. Just...

Tommy, get outta here. Oh, Sheila, honey.

It's okay. Let it out, honey.

I was supposed to be married by now.

I don't know. Maybe to him. Maybe not to him.

Honey.

Honey, he was never gonna marry you. You know that.

He was only interested in himself.

Yes, you have the grief connection.

Yes, there was a mutual bond.

But as always, it was only about him.

He's an ass.

But he told me that he loved me.

He loved the sex.

And I guarantee you that if I dropped dead,

he'll be headed to your house

half an hour after they stick me in the ground

wanting a handjob.

Right, Tommy?

That's a little... Half an hour?

I mean, it's at least 40 minutes

from our house to her house.

I was just trying to throw a little...

[CLEARS THROAT]

levity into the...

No.

Go get some water.

Okay. But you know what? Let me just say something, okay?

You know, it wasn't just about the sex, you know.

There was a real connection between us.

And, you know, it was about healing

and about grief, you know.

The two of us.

And it...and it was...

[SIGHS]

Would you like ice in the water?

Put some whiskey in it.

Don't you think you've had enough?

[IN LOUD VOICE] I said put some whiskey in it!

[WHIMPERS] Oh, gee, Gav. I'm sorry.

Oh, no. Honey, no.

You don't have anything to be sorry about.

Look, you gave us this beautiful day.

Yeah, and Colleen is glowing, thanks to you.

And the renewing the vow thing was a little insane,

but it worked out perfectly. You are a good friend.

[WHIMPERS] No, I'm not.

I'm not a good friend. I'm not.

Look, we're close, and we can laugh about stuff,

and I can help you with your kids,

and you can help me with my Kids.

But honestly...

I can't truly be around you for too long

for any given amount of time.

Why not?

Because, Janet,

[WHIMPERS]

everything I wanted, you got.

Oh.

[WHIMPERS]

Your husband went away.

And he came back.

Mine, not so much.

It's never gonna happen.

So, what am I left with here? Let's see.

I've got a lot of money.

I've got Damian in a wheelchair.

And, um. Oh, yeah. An empty bed.

[CRYING]

You really need to get laid.

I know!

Mickey's downstairs. Ugh!

Oh, come on. He's a good man.

I mean, he's a Gavin. What are the odds?

Don't you think he deserves another chance?

Well, he is totally hot.

But I would only be using him for sex.

Which actually works for me.

[♪♪]

[CROWD CHEERING]

LOU: Hey.

Hey.

Beautiful day.

Yep.

Very, very touching.

What would you know about touching?

Hmm?

I know a little.

Oh, that's good.

I'm gonna get a slice.

Nah.

[SHEILA CHUCKLING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'm sorry. I was, uh, hearing her confession.

Yeah, 'cause I've been very bad.

Very bad.

[CHUCKLES]

Ah.

You know, Mikey, you gotta admit.

Gavins sure do throw a freaky-ass wedding, huh?

No shit, huh? Good times.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Yo, B, what is that smell? Holy shit.

[MIKE COUGHS]

You wanna get married?

Yes.

Really? Yes!

You do? Yes! Yes.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

We're gonna get married?

[CHUCKLES]

[WOMEN CHEERING]

Whoo! I caught it!

Aah! I paid for this bouquet, bitches!

[CHUCKLES]

What, what! Hey! What, what!

Viva la Gavins, baby!

[HOWLS]

[SIRENS AND HORNS WAILING]

This your building?

No. I watch the bus depot.

Anybody inside?

Eh. Chinks run the sweatshop on the ground floor,

but they usually clear out about 9.

Pretty sure the rest of the building's off-limits.

Any squatters?

Eh, cops catch kids sometimes up top drinking beer,

tagging the walls.

Place is a goddamn eyesore.

You should let it burn, you ask me.

Yeah. We didn't.

Go on. Get outta here.

All right. Look, the smoke is real heavy on three,

so start there and work your way up.

I'm gonna have second alarm clear the bottom floors.

Remember, fellas. Big buildings, big problems.

[SIRENS AND HORNS BLARING]

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER DISPATCHER]

SEAN: Jesus Christ.

It'd be nice if they let us take the elevator

one goddamn time, wouldn't it?

MIKE: Yep.

You acting deputy tonight?

No, I do this in my spare time.

Nice. Have your men clear out the lower floors.

All over it.

Anything up top?

We just sent them up.

Could just be some kids messing around.

We don't know yet.

Big buildings, big problems.

You don't have to tell me, Sid.

SHAWN: Yo.

Yo.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

LOU: Yeah, chief, tell 99

we got some shit on fire up here. Nothing too hot.

NEEDLES [OVER RADIO]: Copy.

SEAN: Not as hot as the honeymoon suite the other night.

[ALL LAUGH]

SHAWN: Or hot as it's gonna get on my honeymoon

with my baby girl when I go bang, bang, bang.

Bang--

- -cock is a great place to visit, uh,

'cause Mexico, you know, SEAN: Oh, yeah.

It's crowded. Mexico's kind of crowded.

MIKE: Hey, guys. We got some empty beer cans over here.

[BEER CANS RATTLING]

I think they're imported.

LOU: Wait. Hold up. Hold up, guys.

You smell that?

TOMMY: Yeah. Smells like diesel fuel.

MIKE: Yeah, it sure does.

Hey, what's going on up here?

SHAWN: Yo, fellas.

We got ourselves a real problem.

Oh, shit!

[EXPLODING]

Oh, shit! Lou!

Mayday, mayday, mayday. NEEDLES: Lou! Lou!

SIDNEY: I'm calling in the third alarm.

LOU [OVER RADIO: Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

Lou, what's your position?

We're on three. We're in the middle of an arson, chief.

There's diesel fuel everywhere.

Give me a recall. Everyone's accounted for.

Any visible exits?

Back the way we came.

Get your asses there, Now.

Mayday, mayday...

LOU: Back the way we came. TOMMY: Here we go. Let's go.

[EXPLODES]

LOU: Holy shit! All right. Stay together. Back, guys. Back.

TOMMY: Go, go, go, go! LOU: Stay together.

[MAN GRUNTS]

MAN 1: This way. Over here.

SHAWN: This way. FRANCO: In there. In there.

[EXPLODES]

MAN 2: Come on, come on, come on.

LOU: Hit the elevator! SEAN: Go, go, go, go!

SHAWN: Come on, come on--

SEAN: Get in. Get in.

TOMMY: Hurry up, hurry up.

[MAN COUGHS]

All right. All right.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, shit! This is bad.

SEAN: Come on, Tommy!

TOMMY: I'm trying.

Shit!

Gotta go up. I gotta go up.

TOMMY: I got it. I got it. LOU: Ah. We're almost there.

Almost there. Almost there, guys.

TOMMY: Come on. LOU: Almost there.

The goddamn cables are dry.

TOMMY: Up. Up.

SHAWN: Come on. Goddamn it.

LOU: Here we go. Here we go.

Get your heli up. Come on. Knock it down.

TOMMY: Christ! It's locked!

LOU: Get the grate up! Hurry it up! Hurry it up!

Knock it!

TOMMY: Got it. Come on. Speed it up.

Go, go, go! Lou, go!

TOMMY: Goddamn it!

[EXPLODING]

LOU [OVER RADIO]: We're on the fourth floor now.

NEEDLES: What the hell are they going up for?

All right, Lou, look.

There's a window at exposure two.

Get over there now, and I'll send Nielsy with a ladder.

Listen, I got towers up.

I want you on the curb so we can soak this bitch.

NEEDLES: Stretch that out!

[EXPLODING]

[SIREN WAILING]

[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

LOU: Guys, take your tanks off. Save your air.

Save your air, Franky. Get the tank off.

Jesus Christ. Where the hell's Niels with that ladder?

[MAN COUGHING]

SEAN: Whoa! Holy shit! ALL: Yeah!

Free at last, baby! Free at last.

FRANCO: Nielsy! NIELS: Hey, guys.

Need a ride. LOU: Thank God.

NIELS: All right. Shush. Hush.

MAN: Please help us!

Goddamn it.

MIKE: You hear that? Yeah. It's those kids.

All right. MIKE: Let's go.

TOMMY: Come on.

[MAN GRUNTING]

Yeah, like we're not gonna come with you.

LOU: All right.

Chief, listen. We hear the kids now.

We're heading in their direction.

Look, Lou. You don't have a lot of air left.

Get to that window and back immediately.

And if you can't make it, get over to the bulkhead stairs.

You can't send them to the bulkhead.

It's like a furnace up there.

I gotta get some water on these lower floors

so you don't get cooked. Be careful up there.

There's gonna be fire pushing all over the goddamn place.

We don't have a choice, Sid.

They're not gonna leave those kids.

MAN: Help us! You gotta help us!

[MAN COUGHS]

MAN: We're locked in.

LOU: All right. Sit tight. We're coming for you.

Go, go, go!

Just sit tight, calm.

Just sit tight. We're coming.

SHAWN: Come on, come on, breathe! Calm down. Breathe.

MIKE: Nice and easy now. Nice and easy.

Deep breath. Deep breath. Yeah. Deep breath.

Okay. Okay, let's go. Let's go.

Deep breath. Relax.

SHAWN: Come on.

Let's go! Come on! Come on! Come on, let's go!

LOU: All right, chief.

Listen, we lost our safety line, and our tanks are going dry.

There's no way we're making it back to that window.

We're headed for the bulkhead.

Now, guys. Go, go.

Let's go. Keep going. Straight up. Go, go, go.

Keep going. Up, up, up, up.

SEAN: We gotta go. We gotta go.

Let's go. Come on!

Come on.

MIKE: I'm out of air!

LOU: I'm out.

MIKE: I got no air!

The guys have reached the bulkhead with the grabs.

Where's the ladder? Ladder's arriving now.

All right. Well, get that goddamn door open.

We're sitting on a powder keg down here. Go. Guys, go!

SEAN: I got a door up here. MIKE: Hold on. Hold on.

SEAN: Come on!

SHAWN: Come on. Come on!

MIKE: The goddamn door won't shut.

FRANCO: What do you got? What do you got?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, hey, hey. Just calm down.

You're gonna be okay. Breathe slow. Breathe slow.

Breathe deep.

MIKE: Go. Go.

[SEAN GRUNTS]

Son of a bitch!

Aw, shit!

Urgent, urgent. The bulkhead is bricked over.

NIELS [OVER RADIO: There's no means of egress.

62 has no means of egress, okay?

NEEDLES [OVER RADIO]: Nielsy,

I want you to get off that roof.

Repeat. The structure is compromised. It is unstable.

Get off the goddamn roof now.

FRANCO: We're gonna be okay. You're gonna be all right.

Just breathe easy. Breathe easy.

Shawn, get back to work, man! Come on, asshole! We don't quit!

BOY: Is he going to be okay?

FRANCO: We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be all right.

[MAN COUGHING]

[MAN GRUNTS]

TOMMY: What do you want to do, Lou?

Go, Tom. go.

You sure?

We'll be fine. Trust me.

[EXPLODING]

[♪♪]