Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

(weights clinking) (man muttering)

(alarm ringing)

? I woke up Thursday, about one or two ?

? I don't got anything, ? got anything to do ?

? I wanna brush my teeth, ? I need information ?

? Turn on the TV and radio station ?

? The world's fucked, ? ain't nothing left for me ?

? Strung out on fast foods, ? cigarettes, amphetamines ?

? I think today I'll wear ? a nice, white dress ?

? Throw my hair in a tight perm press ?

? I want a Cadillac Car ?

Hey.

A job?

Er, ah, hi, are you...

Are you jobbing?

Ah, hiring?

Oh, hey!

It's crazy.

This is the one.

You're the one.

You're the one.

You are so pretty.

You got this.

Hey. (laughs)

I'm, I'm... Amy

Hello, my future boss.

I'd like a job.

You got this.

I'll work on it on the way.

? I shot a man 'cause ? he looked at me wrong ?

? I feel indifferent as I have all along ?

? I said, I ?

? I shot a man 'cause ? he looked at me wrong ?

? I told a bunch of ? fucking lies in this song ?

? I got a Cadillac Car ?

I didn't get it.

- How do you know you didn't get it?

- Because I asked "Did I get it?"

and he said, "No, you did not get it."

- Yeah, well, sucks to suck, try again.

- Trying's so hard.

Can you come pick me up?

- Can't.

This cuck has to make it to the stupid airport.

- That's fine.

I'll go walk to Trevor's.

Gotta go pick up some goods.

- Cool cool.

Go buy those drugs.

Bye bitch. (laughs)

So what, you going on vacation or something?

- Oh, yeah, I'm going-

- Oh shit!

Don't be rude, I'm trying to listen to this.

- Ah, what next?

- Mm, be charming as hell.

- (burps) Okay. (laughs)

- Also, you can borrow this.

It's for dates.

For slashing nuts if they get rapey

or start talking about politics.

- How many nuts have you had to slash?

- Had to?

Maybe three.

- Three guys?

- Three nuts, two guys.

- [Justin] Rent's due in two days.

It's supposed to be 150.

- And you were supposed to fix her sink,

but the water still looks like it was imported from Flint.

before I have to do something drastic.

(suspenseful music)

(lighter clicking)

(radio static)

(suspenseful music)

(music abruptly stops)

We've got a 10-420 on the west trail by the bad dirt.

That's a code red.

(audio reversing)

- Okay.

Whatever you say, Mr. Park Ranger.

(suspenseful music)

- Dirty Lizzy, what's up?

- Lizzy, is that you?

- Ramon!

So good to hear your voice!

- Guys, I hate to be the breaker upper

of fun reconnective conversation

but we've got ourselves a pickle here!

- Oh, what happened?

- Hi all, it's Sphen.

- [All] Hi Sphen!

- I really screwed the pooch, you guys.

- The first step is to take a deep breath and just breathe.

(all breathing)

Now, tell us what happened.

- Well, I sold that pen that wasn't supposed to be sold!

- Oh dear.

I think I know the one.

Blast 'Em Up Maria really wanted that back.

- I know.

I'm the worst!

- Guys, let's lay off Sphen, okay?

He made an honest mistake.

And really this is all of our mistake.

- You're absolutely right.

No one is to blame.

The first step, is to breathe.

- I think we should all breathe.

(all breathing)

- Yes, please.

- All right, fine.

But I wasn't gonna do anything creepy or weird,

I just really need that vape pen.

- Oh, I don't have it.

- You don't?

- Nope.

- Oh, geez.

This must be one big misunderstanding.

I'm so sorry.

- Ah, don't worry about it.

Just lock the door on the inside before you leave.

- Okay.

All right.

(thunder crashing)

For your troubles.

- Dope!

- I'll see you later!

And when I said I'll see you later,

I meant that colloquially.

I will not actually be back later!

(thunder crashes)

(phone ringing)

- You get it?

- You know, it was the darnedest thing!

that matters to me.

- You jokin' my ass?

Amy, I love the Seabirds!

- Ugh, I can't even fake this.

(audio reversing)

- A favorite team, do you have one?

- I don't really have a favorite team.

And I find you to be a real lump of cum.

- Wow.

- Oh, sorry, that was mean.

That was, that one was too mean.

(audio reversing)

- A favorite team, do you have one?

- I don't really have a favorite team.

Tell me all about the footballs.

- Well, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports.

Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports,

Sports, sports, sports, sports, sport.

Sports, sports, sports, sports, sport.

Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports.

Sports, (coughing) sports, sports, sports.

- Hey, someone call 911,

I think this guy's having a stroke.

- Oh, word!

Come on Trevor.

(Trevor sobbing)

So when's the next date?

- Oh, I don't know if this whole online thing is for me.

- Ah, bap, bap, the best things happen in threes,

like Musketeers or celebrity deaths.

Maybe one more shot.

- [Amy] Maybe.

- If it doesn't work out,

I could buy you a jiggalo or some shit.

- Oh, that's a good friend.

(upbeat music)

- Knock knock!

- You know I didn't give you the job, right?

- Yes, but I thought I could interview again,

? My name is Big Bad Ra-Raymond ?

? But I ain't playin'. ?

? I'm always a hippin', a hoppin' ?

? But I never be a-droppin' that beat ?

? I grew up in the hood, raised on the streets ?

? A nice sunny suburban street ?

? But it wasn't always great ?

? Because my mom never says she loves me ?

? Because my mom never says she loves me ?

? My mom never says she loves me ?

- Uh, I think Sushi Mane needs you.

- Okay, I'll be right back.

- [Evan] What's going on, Buddy?

- I was rapping from the heart, and I realized some things.

- [Evan] Aw, come on man.

You know your mom loves you!

She got you that Xbox for Christmas.

- Amy no!

You could end up really, really sleepy and hungry or worse!

But,

we could hit it together.

Double the power, share the burden.

- Will that work?

- I don't know.

Lizzy?

- Fine!

But if it doesn't work, you're handing over that pen.

- Amy, you say the word and I'll rip this bitch's lungs out!

- No, no, not yet, Clover!

- There's so many paradoxes in play here.

My quantum physics degree is really doing very little

for me in this situation.

I don't know if this could maybe not work never once,

but I certainly think it could maybe work once never.

Regardless,

Tricky

- You don't have to do this.

- Hey, I got you into this mess,

I gotta help you get out.

- Thank you.

- Ready?

- Ready.

- One two- - Three, two-

- You just do it. - Count down?

I'll do it? - You just do it, yeah.

- Start from the top?

Okay. - Okay, okay.

- Ten, nine- - Three-

Oh, you went way up there.

All right, here we go.

- You just do it.

- All right, sure.

Three, two, one.

(audio reversing)

- Did we?

Oh. (laughs)

Oh no.

- We smocked the whole... (mumbling)

- Smocked the whole!

- [Amy] We wholed the smoke, uh, whole.

(Amy and Trevor laughing)

- What the hell is going on here?

- Interior Trevor's sun room.

Trevor lays down.

- Amy just appeared out of thin air.

And you guys are both really high.

Am I on drugs?

Drugs other than the usual ones?

- Here.

All done. (laughs)

(Amy retches)

- Looks like at least two days.

- Did we save Ramon?

Oh wait, if we did, you wouldn't know.

- You did.

I know because this is your third time you've woken up

and told me about it, only to go back to sleep.

- We did it!

- [Clover] You did.

I guess.

I'm not gonna lie, part of me thinks you and Trevor

took some bad shrooms or something.

- No, it was real.

- Okay.

Well, I was just here making sure you're okay.

You okay?

- Yeah.

I'm good, Clove.

- I'm gonna go make some cash.

We'll hang later.

- Oh, and Clover!

- Yeah?

- Thanks.

- You know I got your back, bitch.

But I'm adding $50 to your tab

for all the worry cigarettes I smoked

watching your high ass.

- (laughs) Yeah, that's fair.

I'll pay it back.

Trevor.

- Oh, what time is it?

- I don't know, but we slept at least two days.

- Dayum.

Did you see that cat box?

And the other us us's?

- Yeah.

- Where was that?

Like, outer space or something?

- Some kind of dimensional rift I guess.

- Man, that was pretty cool.

- Hey, Trevor.

You know how I've been going on those online dates

and they always either end up cracking their heads open

or I stab them to death?

- Yeah.

- Well, I was thinking I'd rather just hang with you.

- Oh, dope.

Yeah, you can always hang here.

- But the reason that I went on those dates was to get laid.

And I still wanna get laid.

But I also wanna hang.

- Well, maybe we can go to the bar

or something and find someone.

- But I just said I wanna hang with you.

- Oh, yeah, you can hang.

- But I also want to have sex.

- Ah. I see.

You might like my cousin Timmy.

He is a little dweeb, but he's a nice boy.

- I want to hang and sex the same person.

- Timmy can hang.

- But I wanna hang with you.

- After Timmy?

- No, now.

- Before Timmy?

- No Timmy.

- Because he's a dweeb?

- I want to have sex with you and then I wanna hang.

- Oh!

Like, me and you.

- Yeah.

Would you want that?

- To hang or have sex?

- Both.

- Yes.

- To both?

- To both, yes.

- Okay,

Cool, cool.

- We can do it in Mama's hatchback if you want.

- I'd like that.

- Me too.

Mama!

We need to borrow your car!

She keeps it unlocked anyway.

(heavy breathing)

- [Amy] Is that good?

- [Trevor] Oh, yeah, yep.

It's all pretty good to me.

Is it good for you?

- [Amy] Oh yeah, it's pretty dope.

- [Trevor] Wanna hit this?

- [Amy] What, when did you light that?

- [Trevor] A couple minutes ago.

- [Amy] Ah, sweet, yeah, let me hit it.

(coughing)

- [Trevor] You okay?

- [Amy] (coughs) Yeah, just joints always make me cough.

- [Trevor] Oh, true.

You know what, I'll ask my boy Sphen

to grab you a new weed pen.

- [Amy] Ah, dope!

Can it be a non-time-travel one?

- [Trevor] I'll ask.

I'm sure he can do that for you, though.

He owes us both one for turning on us in that standoff.

- [Amy] Would he remember that?

- [Trevor] Oh, right, time travel.

No.

But he's easily convinced.

- [Amy] No doubt.

Just finished.

- [Trevor] Oh! Cool, me too.

- [Amy] Sweet.

Wanna get Chinese food?

- [Trevor] Sure.

Hand me your socks, Mama doesn't want me leaving a mess.

(bright music)

- Hey, I'm here for the barista job.

- You're like four hours late to your interview.

- Yeah, I slept in.

- That's cool.

We're all usually late.

- Oh, word?

- Word.

- Word.

- Word.

- Word.

- Would you say you generally give a shit.

- No, not really.

- Tight, cool.

- Cool, cool, tight, tight.

- Dope.

- Dope.

- Dope!

- All right, so I guess I'll see you Monday.

- Yeah, whatever. - Word.

- Word.

- Word.

- Word.

- Word.

(bright music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(Amy and Trevor singing)

- [Trevor] Guitar solo.

- [Amy] Oh, it's you, it's your solo.

It's your solo.

(Trevor imitating guitar)

(Amy laughing)

(Siren wailing)