Original subtitles

Tyler, love the candy canes by the way.

They look great.

Thank you so much. I literally could not have done this night without you.

Oh! Oh, sorry, Luce.

Uh, you're coming tonight, right?

-No. I-- I can't, I have plans. -What do you mean?

- You've known about this for months. - -Yeah, sorry.

Enough with all this Christmas shit.

-Sneaking out a little bit early... -Jesus Christ.

...are ya?

-Hi, Peg. -Hi.

Didn't see you there.

It's okay.

So, got any good plans for the holidays?

Uh no, I'm--

Uh, just headed to my mom's tomorrow.

Oh, how nice.

You must be looking forward to that.

Are you guys close?

Uh...

Ah...

I said, are you close with your mother?

Yeah, uh, sure.

-Yeah? -Yeah, I guess.

That's nice.

It's just this time of year though, isn't it?

It's like no matter what you do, you can't outgrow it.

I find-- I find that even I still get excited

by the little things. Isn't that crazy?

But you know, you, uh...

You hear those same songs, you see those lights,

you feel the cold

and for just this one time of year,

even the cold feels good.

It's like--

It's like you get to be a kid

all over again.

But, uh, you're an only child though, right?

Uh, no.

I'm one of three.

Oh, huh.

Uh--

That's, uh, funny. I--

Oh!

Well, I hope you have a nice time at home

with your family, Lucy.

And...

always remember,

no one likes a Scrooge.

Happy Holiday!

- Yeah, just this. - Sure.

Um...

It's cold out, huh?

Just because every child doesn't get his wish,

that doesn't mean there isn't a Santa Claus.

That's what I thought you'd say.

But what could you possibly want with a house like this?

I'll live in it with my mother.

But you have this lovely apartment.

But I want a backyard, and a swing, and--

she can't get it, huh?

I didn't say that.

Well, that's a tall order.

But I'll do the best I can.

- May I keep this? - Mm-hmm.

Goodnight, Susan.

Night.

Do you like living in the city?

Sorry, dude.

Hello?

Hey?

Hey.

How was your flight?

Fine, long.

Fine, long, that's it?

What do you want, the flight path?

Singapore.

China.

Japan.

Ocean, ocean, ocean.

What are you doing on the floor?

Trying to fix my back.

It's 'cause I'm a 100 years old.

You old man.

Yeah. Be my--

Wait, wait, wait. Just don't move.

Oh my God.

Don't move.

- Hold it. - Don't move.

-Can you stop? -Don't...

- I got it. - ...move.

You guys look good. I wanna take a picture.

I got it.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi.

You want some salad?

I have three packages of arugula

that are about to expire.

I'd have some, too, but, um,

I had a huge roast beef sandwich

at the gas station with Tim and I'm not feeling so well.

Why did you do that?

Well, I don't know.

Um, but you wanna run errands?

- Sure. - Great.

I'll be back.

She seems up.

Send text message to Cynthia.

Period.

Hi, sweetie.

-Mom, I could just text her-- -Your sister and I are--

heading out.

Call me. Love you.

Period.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Smoking?

Just-- just one a day.

Okay.

Ooh.

Luce, look, there's Sam.

He's been here all week helping his mother.

Usually he's in California with his girlfriend,

but they broke up.

-Fascinating. -Yeah. I--

think you should maybe--

-Mom. -What?

I think he looks kinda like Anthony Edwards.

-What? -Mm-hmm.

Remember the ER days?

You always liked him as a kid.

-You liked more than-- -Mom!

You liked him more than George Clooney.

-Can we just go? -Which I thought was very odd.

Alright. You wearing your seatbelt?

-Can we go? -Yes.

He can't hear me.

I could hear you.

-Whoops. -Oh my God.

Oh, that's my coffee.

Oh well.

Hi Sam.

Hi.

Okay.

Alright.

Should we go pick it up?

Oh, it's just my coffee cup. It's okay.

Grab another one with the snowflakes.

Okay.

Oh, and one of those cute gift bags.

Snowflakes.

Lucy Rauleigh?

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi Mrs. Baker. - Oh.

Andrea is in Paris with her boyfriend this Christmas,

but she told me to say hi if I ran into you.

Really?

Oh, I-- I mean we haven't spoken in like--

Has your father mentioned that Jack reached out to him

about an internship this summer

-at the network? -Uh, no.

Watching his career take off has been so exciting for--

for Richard and I. Ah.

We were very close with your father.

I mean it was years ago, but, uh,

your mother always just sort of did her own thing,

but, uh...

Anyhow, it is too bad he doesn't live here,

so I can't run into him at the Job Lot

buying toilet paper.

You will have to come down to the beach house this summer

when Andrea and her fiancé-- boyfriend are visiting.

Uh, it just drives me absolutely nuts

that that house sits there empty all winter,

but you know, it's not near a mountain,

so no one wants to hear it from me.

Mmm, well.

Luce?

- Oh. - Coming.

I better get going, but I will see you around.

-Bye. -Bye.

Coming.

How come you two never hang out?

I like Mrs. Baker. She's very social.

I don't know, I guess I don't like her very much.

Why not?

Mom, she's successful.

-Doesn't matter. -She's still got a lot of energy

She's very put together.

I don't think she's a very nice person.

She's a perfectly normal woman, mom.

She was really nice to me in there.

Let's go get coffee.

Hold on.

Great. Let's go.

...gusts on the cape. And a new question,

how far down does the snow get? Will there be snow?

I mean, I'm not really sure why we're even doing this.

It's kind of late, and you know,

we're gonna have take it down in two days, you realize?

Yeah, I will.

Sorry.

So, did Cynthia tell you she got mom a cruise?

Okay, does everyone in this family smoke now?

You know it's bad for you, right?

Yeah, so it's like $800 each, but it's like a--

a classic cruise.

800 bucks each?

Whoa, spooky.

Cyn said that you would say that

and I'm supposed to say you make plenty of money, Lucy.

You make plenty of money, Lucy.

Does Cynthia ever think to-- I don't know,

maybe consult one of us

before she makes these decisions?

Also, it's a surprise, and it's on the 28th.

God, these things are so old.

Oh, just...

You know, I-- I don't even think mom owns--

I don't think mom owns a bathing suit anymore,

- you know? - Huh?

I mean, she definitely doesn't.

You know what? I'm gonna go inside.

What? Why?

Just this is not how siblings are supposed to work.

We're supposed to talk to each other

about these kinds of things.

We're talking.

Jesus.

Can't sleep?

What? No. I-- I'm fine.

It's okay to look at it.

It was a beautiful wedding.

Um.

I don't think this should be out...

in the dining room for people to see.

It's not like I have people over often.

Well, maybe you should.

Um...

Do you miss him, sweetheart?

No.

We got divorced for a reason.

Well, that doesn't mean you can't miss him.

I-- I miss Nate sometimes.

We're still friends on Facebook.

He, um, he doesn't post very much anymore.

When your father and I got divorced--

Mom, please.

Lucy, I'm-- I'm just trying to have a conversation.

You and dad got divorced like, what, 30 years ago?

You had three kids together.

It's an entirely different situation.

And I-- I don't think I should be taking advice from you.

Um, I'm gonna go to bed.

-Lucy. -Mom, I asked you before to get rid of it.

You were the one looking at it.

Because it was out.

Fine.

Get rid of it.

Fine.

You know, I just--

I just wish you'd like me a little bit more.

Might-- it might make Christmas more fun.

You think I don't want a fun Christmas, too, mom?

Where everyone's together on Christmas.

You think I don't want that?

I don't know, Lucy.

Well, don't you wish we could just wake up tomorrow

and be the perfect family?

But we're not.

Hmm.

Did mom go out?

I don't know.

Hmm, what do you mean you don't know?

-I haven't seen her. -Did, like--

like in-- in a while or at all?

Like in a while.

Oh, well...

-What's up? -Uh, nothing.

Mom!

I don't think she's here.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom!

Her car's not in the driveway, Tim!

-Did you call her? -Yeah.

Her phone was off.

Uh, she probably went on her walk.

You think she went for a walk?

- No. Mom doesn't exercise. - She doesn't really walk.

No...

Okay, I'm gonna go out.

Um, run some errands.

Do you want to come?

No.

Really?

Really.

Fine.

Well, just let me know if you hear from her.

Oh, where am I going? I have to get dressed.

So, as you know,

we are actually a little bit low on the trees outside,

But we do have some interesting options indoors.

So we have these, uh, wreaths, which are 50% off,

and then we have, uh, some garlands over there

and we have ribbons, uh,

which are also discounted over there.

You know what?

I'm actually not gonna get a tree.

- Why not? - Or anything.

But thank you so much for your help.

I mean, you could still totally get it.

It's only the 23rd.

I know, but-- you know what?

There's just no little kids in my house.

-Right. -So, it just doesn't--

-Lucy. -I mean--

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Hey, Sam.

-Last minute... -Hi.

...tree buying?

No.

They're not buying trees.

They don't have little kids in their house.

My, uh-- my mom got one of those fake trees.

-Oh, no. -And I couldn't take it.

It doesn't smell like anything.

If I wanted a fake tree, I would have stayed in California.

So, I said screw it and came here.

-Hm. -Nice.

-Yep. -It's a good one.

How is everything? It's been years, huh?

I know. Uh, great.

-Yeah? -Yeah. Doing really good.

I think I saw Tim get in--

-Yep. Tim. And Cynthia... -Yeah, and Cynthia--

-...arrives today... -Ah.

...from Chicago.

Your mom cracks me up.

-She's, uh-- -Yep.

I always thought your family was cool.

-And your mom, she's good? -Yeah, she's good.

-Hm. -You guys should come over tonight if you're free.

-Ah. -But I-- You know, I should probably get home

and put this tree in some water.

-Okay. -But I'll see you around?

-Yeah. -Yeah?

-Happy holidays. -Happy holidays.

Kids in the house?

Nope.

Um, yeah, I'll just-- get the both of 'em.

Hello, hello, hello.

What fresh nonsense is this?

Oh my God.

I-- I thought mom wanted some.

Uh, they're called "Poinsettias".

Yeah.

Pretty proud of myself.

These are very festive, right?

Yeah, I didn't know you had that in you.

Yeah. Okay, so mom's not back from her walk?

-No. -Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Um, um, when does Cynthia get in?

Soon, I think.

Okay, Tim.

When-- when Cynthia gets in, just tell her that--

What?

I already told her.

You already told her what?

That you and mom probably got into a fight

and now we don't know where she is?

That's not what happened.

Oh, it's not?

What did happen?

-Shit! -Speak of the devil.

Hi, Cyn!

Everything's fine.

Honestly, I don't know why I thought that

we could just all have a normal family Christmas together.

Okay, she's probably out shopping.

What did you do?

-Nothing. -Oh, you didn't do anything?

You know that her flight for the cruise leaves on the 28th, right?

Oh, oh yeah. Thanks for consulting with me on that, by the way.

Ugh. She doesn't even like cruises.

Roll that.

Wait.

So where's your new boyfriend?

Like I would bring him to this?

Can you even imagine?

"Hi, Andrew. This is my family.

Uh, we're not really sure where our mother is right now,

but... Merry Christmas!"

I'm going into town to get a pedicure.

You don't even like the place in town.

Just figure it out, Lucy.

Wait. So, this is my problem?

Yes.

Aunt Joan?

Hi, it's Lucy.

Um...

Yeah, I know, it's been so long.

Um, I just wanted to call--

Have you heard from mom?

Hi, Pam.

Um...

Uh, yes, it's Lucy Rauleigh.

Um, I, uh--

Have you-- have you, uh, spoken to my mom, uh, recently?

No?

Oh, it's been months.

No, no, no, no.

Everything's fine.

I just, um, I wanted to know

if she was supposed to get in touch with you, right?

About the--

Yep, the honey-baked ham.

Hey, mom.

Um, I-- I keep getting your voicemail,

and, um... I'm sorry if I was rude.

No? Okay.

Um, would-- can you try Carol Connick?

Hi, Nancy.

Mr. Gregory?

I'm really starting to freak out,

um, and get really worried about you.

Um, I don't know where your recipes are.

Help me.

Hmm.

Did-- did you have any-- any Carol Rauleigh stay there?

I know, I-- I'm not allowed to find that out, right?

I can't-- okay.

Thank you anyway, yeah.

How many golf courses is--

is the Bing Crosby Pro-am?

I don't know.

I don't even want-- I don't want to see it.

Like you have to understand,

like that is a memory that I maybe

don't wanna... relive.

No one can get in touch with you,

and I've tried calling everyone.

Do you want an apology from me?

Is that what's gonna get you to pick up the phone?

Because this is really messed up.

I just think it's really, really messed up of you

to not call any of us back.

Um, or leave any note or anything.

Um, so, yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Oh.

No, I think later we'll go to the movies probably.

And then, uh, I don't know,

maybe we'll make some sugar cookies.

Yeah.

Mom and Lucy are making dinner right now.

I think they're gonna do turkey and stuffing.

The whole works.

Yeah, I'll tell them you say hi.

Okay.

I love you.

Bye.

Do not say a word.

So, no one has talked to mom today?

No.

Half the people I spoke to haven't spoken to mom in months.

Okay, well, that's not that unusual, right?

People are busy.

Oh my God, you guys.

What if mom was like-- I don't know,

what if she was like abducted or something?

-Very funny. -Honestly, Tim.

What? I mean...

it's a possibility.

We live in a small town, leave the door unlocked,

some bored high school kid.

Or Lucy, maybe you finally snapped

and killed mom in a fit of rage,

because she buys too many pillows at HomeGoods.

What? I can't put that out there?

You know what?

Maybe we should go to the police.

Uh, I was kidding.

No, no, no, yeah, no.

This is ridiculous.

And maybe it's like when--

When you go to a restaurant

and the food is taking for-fucking-ever.

And when-- then you just go to the bathroom.

And when you get back the food is there.

Wha-- what?

Mom is the food in that metaphor.

Thank you, Tim.

Yeah, no, I-- I got it.

Alright, I guess we're all going out.

Great.

I'm not gonna go in.

Huh? Why not?

Because Kate is in there and I don't want to see her.

-It's embarrassing. -What's embarrassing?

Oh, I don't know. This entire situation.

The fact that my high school girlfriend is a freaking cop.

Okay. I can't.

Wait, you still like Katie?

I thought you only dated communists now.

No, see, you're past four girlfriends--

Boyfriends.

They're from Singapore.

Singapore is not a communist country.

Can you just get out of the car, please?

- Okay. - And leave it on.

I don't want to freeze to death.

Sure.

God.

Why does no one know anything about Asia?

Okay, so you had the argument over the, uh,

the wedding album around midnight?

Well, uh, I mean, it was hardly an argument.

Okay, but you just called it an argument

a few seconds ago, so.

Well, it's-- I mean, it wasn't like, you know,

anyone was throwing dishes at each other's heads.

Uh-huh.

Alright, well, we can file a missing person's report.

Okay, but you know,

you have to wait 24 hours before you can do that.

No.

I guess that's just something from the movies.

Uh, oh.

But, uh, anyhow, it sounds to me that

most likely your mother left on her own volition.

Are either of you worried that your mother presents a threat

to herself or to other people?

Poses a threat to herself?

Like suicide?

Yes.

I mean, Kate, it's-- it's the holidays.

I think we're all feeling a little suicidal.

What?

Alright, look,

I don't want to overstep any boundaries here,

but have you considered calling your father?

Even just for some support?

"Have you guys considered calling your father?"

Yeah, great detective work, Officer Kate.

I'm sure he'll be right out here on the next Greyhound bus.

Oh, excuse me, Officer.

Sorry.

Yeah, she has no idea what she's talking about.

No.

Well, she was completely useless.

She wanted us to call dad.

Honestly, female cops kind of weird me out in general.

No offense, Tim.

It's just the small town female cops.

Not the big city ones, but just the small town ones.

Don't you have one of those, uh,

"This is what a feminist looks like" t-shirts?

Um, I don't know that I need judgment from you right now,

Miss Everyone's-a-Little- Suicidal-At-The-Holidays.

Ugh...

How you function in a professional environment

is honestly beyond me.

Okay, first of all,

I am pretty sure there are statistics.

And secondly, if we're all being honest,

it's not like mom hasn't--

Oh my God, Lucy.

That was a really long time ago,

and you know that she was in a funk.

- A funk? - -It's not like she's goddamn Virginia Woolf.

Maybe she's right.

-Who? -Who?

No, not either one of you.

Kate.

About what?

Calling dad?

No. No, he's not gonna know anything.

And besides, I want to tell him--

I wanna tell him about my promotion when I see him

in person next week.

A what?

Does-- what-- does that make you like...

partner?

No. No, that's-- that's still a ways away.

But...

Well, congratulations.

Thanks.

Hey, can you make a right up here onto Spring?

I want to drive past the Burnhams.

I didn't get to see the lights last year.

Yeah.

Mom? That's it!

There it is!

I got it!

-Man, I haven't seen this thing in 30 years. -Dad?

Oh hey, you know what this is?

This is my BB gun.

My father gave this to me in like 1967.

Hey, I used to try to get your brother Timmy

to shoot squirrels with it. He hated it.

He just wanted to go inside and read those damn books

about the mice who talk to each other. This is amazing.

You know, I feel like I'm gonna find my record collection

around here.

Whew.

Dad, what are you doing here?

Well, your brother called.

So, I was up at 5:00 this morning.

I said, "What the hell? I'll go see the kids."

Look at you. You look so beautiful.

Did you-- have you lost weight?

You know, some women lose too much weight.

You know-- what are you doing?

The Pilates? The Paleo?

Because everybody at work, they're all just like,

"Ooh, Paleo, Paleo, Paleo."

I guess I haven't eaten much lately.

So, uh, no sign of your mother, huh?

-No. -This place looks pretty much the same, I gotta say.

You know, new fridge though, right?

Boy, nobody hoards more useless shit

than your mom, huh?

So, where are the other two?

Uh, sleeping?

Well, come on, let's wake 'em up, huh?

-What? -Nothing.

I'll wake 'em up, all right.

We'll go to the diner. We'll get some breakfast, huh?

Hey, Timothy, Cynthia,

rise and shine, sleepyheads.

- Uh, Tim sleeps in the basement now, dad. - -Seize the day!

But seriously, how does a team go from worst to first,

and then back to worst again?

It's unprecedented.

Do you get the games over there in Singapore?

Oh, yeah. Get 'em all.

Huge fan base there. There's millions of them.

Everything okay over here?

Actually, can I get a chamomile tea, um, or mint?

Yeah, of course.

Um, could I have some more water?

Mm-hmm.

-Is your food all right? -Yeah.

You're barely touching it. In fact, you keep missing

that piece right there.

Yeah, why are you not eating?

I just have a stomachache.

You want any of this?

-No, but thank you. -What?

- What are you doing? - Salt is good for you.

Mm-hmm.

Speaking of fans, there's Pamela Herman.

She, uh, emails me about the show from time to time.

I'm sorry, I interrupted you. You were saying?

Oh, well, just with this promotion,

I'm on track to make partner within a few years.

Oh, that's amazing. Really?

Yeah, it's-- it's possible.

And since I'm not gonna have kids

until my mid to late 30s, it's gonna be a--

Okay, I'm sorry, but you guys,

shouldn't we be making a plan or something?

I mean, mom's phone has been off for 36 hours.

We can't just sit around talking about spring training,

and jobs, and eating brunch all day.

I don't know if I would call this brunch.

Alright, let's start with the basics.

Is-- is your mother seeing anyone?

- You see her the most. - Yeah.

I mean, no, I don't think so.

She hasn't dated for years.

Well, how is your mom looking?

I'm just asking, 'cause I think of her as a beautiful woman.

I don't know. She's not dating anyone.

I don't think it's that.

Speaking of which, I'm seeing someone new.

Yeah, she's a veterinarian, in fact.

She specializes in, uh, dogs with liver cancer.

So, yeah, I mean,

the thing she talks about that she pulls out of these dogs.

I mean, corgis with tumors the size of a Schnauzer,

you know, it's un-- un invasive.

It's all anally.

- I mean, she does it without any surgery. - -Dad, we're eating.

Dad.

- Hi. - Oh my God. Hi.

Dad, this is Mr. Tr-- Uh, Frank.

He used to be our gym teacher.

Yeah, I know. Hey, good to see you.

Just wondering, have you kids seen your mother?

I've been trying to reach her.

- No. - -She's just out and about

I'm sorry, what? Why are you asking?

Huh.

Alright, well, just let her know I-- have her call me

when you hear from her.

Thanks.

So, your plan for finding your mother

is you don't let anyone know she's missing even?

Ah, ah.

I highly doubt Frank Tropper of all people

would be able to help us.

I mean, they're not even friends.

Maybe they're more than friends.

Isn't he married?

Yeah, actually he is.

He-- he used to be at least to the old art teacher--

-Yeah. -Ages ago.

What was her name? Mrs...

- Tropper. - -Something kind of mysterious about him.

-Mrs. Tropper. -That man is a war hero.

He-- he served in the Gulf War.

I remember,

because it was a back to school night at Timmy's

and he and I chatted.

I really should know more about the Gulf War.

Yes, you should.

In fact, for the amount of money I spent on your education,

you should know about all the wars.

You know, the Punic Wars, the Peloponnesian Wars,

the Boer Wars.

Right, here's a layup.

What year did the Vietnam War end?

Oh, well, that was obviously--

196--

'77.

When did the Titanic sink?

Jesus Christ, did any of you graduate from high school?

-1973. -'73.

'75 to be technical, but I'd accept either answer.

- Oh my God. - Yeah, fall of Saigon. And--

- the-- the French started it. - -They allow people to walk around

-so stupid these days. -Yeah.

It just blows my mind. I--

I-- For God's sake, read a book.

Dad, I'm a lawyer.

We all read.

Well, apparently, you don't.

So wait, are you on a diet?

We went over this, it's a stomachache.

Alright, I'll take your car.

You girls ride together.

Tim, you come with me.

Love ya. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

I forgot what it's like to drive.

I'm always taking cars, you know, in the city.

This baby is nice.

Let's go, folks.

Well, that was kind of nice.

I really like that diner.

Um, what are you doing?

Uh, I want to go to Frank Tropper's house.

Why?

Do you even know where it is?

Yeah, I think so.

He's in the-- in that red house um, by the Andersons.

So, I'm thinking, uh, maybe we should--

we should drop by the ice skating rink.

Ice skating?

Yeah.

You think mom's been at the rink this whole time?

Well, has anybody checked the rink?

Um, I think he knows something about mom.

Okay.

People bother me all the time.

Uh, what's gonna be different at the ice skating rink?

I just-- I know that the girls didn't wanna

draw attention to it.

You know,

the girls got a heavy dose of the maternal crazy gene

in the family, you know.

Uh, you can't listen to them as much as you do.

Okay.

If you say so.

Poop-a-doo-poop. That wasn't the nicest thing to say.

He's going so slow.

-Man, Frank Tropper. Remember? -You think--

-Remember when he used to make-- -You think he has like a gym?

Like a couple of gyms.

Remember when he used to make us...

climb that rope for like 45 minutes?

-Yeah. -I'm pretty sure that's illegal now.

Yeah. Uh, yeah.

No, uh, we're uh, actually heading into town

to do some holiday shopping right now.

And, uh, Tim and mom are already at the holiday market.

Lucy says hi.

Yep.

Okay, I will talk to you later.

I love you.

-Bye. -Mmm.

Do you plan on saying anything remotely truthful to this person?

This person is Andrew, as I've told you many times.

And we've been dating for eight months.

And he is really, really smart,

and kind, and successful, and handsome, and just normal.

And so if-- if I need him to believe that

we are shopping for a juicer and drinking eggnog right now,

I think that that is fine.

Okay.

You don't actually think she's here, do you?

Playing messy backyard with the town war hero?

No.

Ladies, hi.

Oh! Mr. Tropper

You were good, you know, Tim.

No, I wasn't.

Oh, yeah, you were.

Yeah, maybe when I was like four.

Here, let me-- let me do that.

-Come on. -Dad, what are you doing?

Ankle support.

That's what you need, son.

That's what you need, right?

All the way around.

Yeah. Feel that?

Oh, there's Brian and Jim.

I'll see you in a while.

So the thing is now, like Kosovo,

you can't even afford a condo.

- Tim, hi. - Hi.

Is it true that your mother is missing?

Lynn Kelleher just mentioned that to me

in front of the bake sale.

Yeah, she-- I mean, it's not like a CSI thing.

She just--

Just what?

Um...

You know, entering midlife is very hard on a lot of women.

Oh, where is my son?

You wouldn't know Jack, right, Tim?

No.

Jack!

Jackie!

He wants to work in a network this summer,

any network,

so I was hoping to talk to your father.

You know, I'm gonna go skate over to your father right now.

What a treat to have him here.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, hey George.

Oh, here's trouble.

- Hi. - Wow.

- Oh. - Oh.

It's so good to see you.

Hello.

So, how are things?

Well, I actually just ran a half marathon.

Oh, that's good.

Alright.

What's going on?

Are you dating our mother?

Well, Lucy, that's difficult to classify.

Before you're, oh, I don't know, 45,

maybe you expect everything to be cut and dry, right?

Because it seems to be cut and dry for everyone else,

but then you loosen up a bit.

Sooner the better is my advice.

Your mother and I are very good friends.

Sometimes, we--

So, do you have any idea where she is?

No.

See, what I've done is try to tell your mother

that she has some unrealistic demands of the world.

Hm, what does that mean?

Oh, you know, just too much energy

wishing that we were people we're not.

For what?

See, I tell her, you put that energy on me,

if you like.

Like, sexually?

A hug is a very powerful thing, Cynthia.

Usually, she comes over,

makes chili, we read, watch a movie.

Okay. Well, um,

it's really good to know that she has a friend.

Okay, Tim is calling me, so I-- I gotta take this.

It was really nice to see you.

You too.

You fear her happiness is out of your control.

Huh. Excuse me?

I said...

you fear her happiness is out of your control.

It is.

Alright. Um...

If you feel guilty, Lucy,

it's probably, because you weren't kind.

I mean, but it's hard to be kind all the time.

I mean, it just takes a tremendous amount of energy.

Hmm.

Not quite as much energy as the, uh,

cleanup of unkindness, but energy nonetheless.

I'm pretty sure you-- you're contradicting yourself.

Yeah, probably.

Hey Luce, we need to go.

I hope your mother's okay, Lucy.

Good luck.

I work at the museum.

I mean, we call it the museum,

it's just a brick building in a state park.

I forgot my jeans today, so.

I'm lying.

I'm just too fucking lazy.

I sleep in this sometimes.

I'm Bogie.

Carol.

Oh, I'll tell you the holidays, man.

You got family?

People sing songs of good cheer

Christmas is here. Hey, kids!

Kids, come on in here.

The bubbly is open.

Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry, merry. Come on in.

Is that mom's apron, dad?

Come on, it's Christmas Eve.

Why does it smell good in here?

Let's put our phones down for a minute.

Have a little bubbly, shall we?

-What is he wearing? -There you go.

-A little something for you. -It's-- it's mom's apron.

A little something for the bearded guy, huh?

A big one for Lucy.

There you go. Alright, come on, it's Christmas Eve.

Let's have some fun, for God's sake.

Right?

Yeah, I was just digging through that refrigerator.

Your mom was expecting an army or something.

There must be food for about 20 in there.

Dad, shouldn't we just wait for--

Oh no. Silence on that, right?

Your mom is fine, I promise you, okay?

People used to get out of town quite frequently

-back in the day, you know? -What?

Your mother, she'll be back before you know it.

We gotta stop all the sulking

and just cheer up a little bit, huh?

But dad, what about the cruise?

Screw the cruise.

Lucy can go on the cruise.

The cruise won't go to waste, don't worry.

Oh, thanks, dad.

Alright. But you know what?

I need some helpers. I need some elves.

I need somebody peeling potatoes right away, right?

We need a little Christmas here.

Then I got the real, uh, napkins out, the cloth ones.

I need somebody to set the table.

You keep your eye on that ham, make sure it doesn't dry out,

and make sure my glass stays full.

But in the meantime, let's have a little fun tonight,

for God's sake.

It's Christmas Eve.

I'm with my kids.

Merry Christmas.

I'm only 35.

I don't even think about it.

You never think about it?

- Old man. - No.

I just think that you're going after the wrong type.

- Oh, you do? - Mm-hmm.

I think that you need someone with pep.

- Pep? - Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

-Somebody who could kind of... -Pep.

...break you out of, um, whatever--

- Whatever--This. - What?

- What? - This going on.

What's going on?

Yeah.

I think-- I think what Cynthia is trying

to say is that, you know,

maybe there's something happening here

that is not clear.

What?

Tim just needs someone with pep.

- That's it. - Stop saying pep.

What is pep?

Pep is like-- is like those-- those people.

- People with pep. - People.

People with pep are people who are in a coffee shop--

And they're like tough,

but they're also happy, and they're really excitable.

Yeah, like one of--

one of those people with like all the tattoos,

- on the piercings. - Yeah.

And they're like-- they're like,

"I have a double shot of latte for two."

- Exactly. - Ooh.

Do they have these people of pep in Singapore?

Hipsters?

Yeah, we have hipsters, dad.

Yeah, but in all seriousness, guys,

I really want you both to just kind of go

towards happiness more,

and I feel like you deserve that.

I know that it's-- it's harder for some people than others,

but... I feel like you make choices,

and then things happen the way that they're supposed to.

- Aw. -And it's sort of like your, um, inalienable right.

Yeah, freedom of speech, religion,

and happiness.

- Yes. - Awesome.

We want that for you, too.

Well, I have a boyfriend.

- Oh yeah. - Do you?

His name is Andrew, guys.

He's really taking one for the team.

Well, Cyn, that was a beautiful sentiment, and, uh...

- Thanks, dad. - ...if we want any dessert,

maybe we could clear these plates,

and we'll bring it out, huh?

I won't need dessert for once in my life.

- I will take that from you. -Thanks.

Do you know who was a great waitress?

Your mother.

Yeah, I met her at Meier's Tavern.

I knew-- I knew I was onto something.

One night she gave me like 20 tater tots.

They were only supposed to give you,

you know, like a dozen or something.

-Yeah. -I knew I was in the-- in like Flynn then.

- I'm going to the bathroom - I'll take that from you.

I don't know if I've heard that story, dad.

Well, I won't tell it again if I know me.

You know, 20 tater tots is not that many tater tots.

I mean, I guess that's true.

I don't really understand what he's talking about.

You know, Andrew's parents are still married though.

Who?

We have a crisis.

We're out of eggnog.

I'll get it.

Thanks.

Hey, everything's gonna be alright, okay?

Thanks, dad.

-Thanks-- -I'm gonna get my coat.

- I don't think so. - Okay.

Yeah.

The sweaters.

Oh my God.

Hi.

Hi. Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Not really.

Are you judging me right now

that I'm not out there with a dog

and a flashlight searching for her?

Well, you don't own a dog.

And, no, I know your mom. I'm sure she's just--

Okay, how do you know my mom?

Like from when we were little kids?

You don't really know her that well.

Actually, I've been home a decent amount these days.

She's a good lady.

I mean, she's a little out there.

Don't get me wrong.

A little?

She's totally nuts.

Like, what the hell, mom?

-Yeah. -You're fucking serious?

It's not funny.

I don't know. You're the one laughing.

It might be.

I'm sorry. Oh my god.

Yeah, why?

It is, I doubt, violent parent bashing is,

you know, your thing.

Oh, come on. My dad can be such a selfish prick sometimes.

Used to be a prick.

I always liked your dad.

But you didn't really know him.

No, he-- he was.

If he wasn't busy driving off to work in the morning,

he'd drive me to school.

And he always played this Tom Petty CD on the stereo.

And-- and one morning, he--

Well, I looked at him, and I said,

"Tom Petty is overrated."

And he pulled the car over and he hit the brakes hard.

And he looked at me like he wanted to hit me.

- What? - No, he never did.

But like, the guy loves Tom Petty.

You know, I don't blame him. I love him, too.

I grew up on his music.

I just wanted to get a reaction out of him.

And he didn't talk to me for a week.

-Geez. -Oh, I miss him.

Christmas.

Ah.

Oh. Um...

Yeah.

That's--

Sorry, that's my dad's ringtone.

I should probably...

Hello?

Hi!

Um, yeah.

I know, I, uh-- I just ran into Sam McGrath.

Yes, from across the street.

Uh yes, I'll invite him over for a drink.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.

I have to get eggnog.

Great.

You coming to the mini-mart with me?

Yeah, I'll go back in.

The track?

Yeah, what-- song? Song.

-5... 4...3. -Song track? The song. I have the song--

-Yeah. Okay. -2... 1.

-No! -Ah, it's time.

World's angriest man.

On to Cincinnati. - No talking!

Bill Belichick! Bill Belichick!

Sam. Look alive.

- A magician? - No.

Singer, singer, singer.

Wow. Ow!

- She had her own show. - She had her own show? Tyra Banks?

- One time she dressed up in a fat-- - Yes! Yes! No, that's it!

Chicken into the oven.

Cymbals. Cymbals.

- Okay. - Ah.

When the president does it, it's not a crime.

Um...

Is that Peter Pan? - He's saying goodbye.

- Oh yes! - He's saying goodbye.

- 1970- - What's another word for a Nixon

- saying goodbye? - He's giving up. Resigning

Oh, uh.

Oh!, uh, uh.

- She broke her leg. Um, uh... - Yeah.

- Time is running. - No, can we stop--

You're fully explaining it now.

- I'm not saying the name! I'm not saying the name! - You're fully saying the clue.

- I'm not saying the name! - Oh my God.

- I'm not saying the name. - Yes, you are.

Who is Donkey? Who is--

No, no, no.

Dad, you're up.

- Oh, no, no. I, uh-- - Come on.

I'm just an impartial judge.

Dad. Dad. Dad.

Oh, oh. I-- this is easy.

Lucy has terrible hand - It's-- okay.

Go.

Two word, movie.

Home Alone!

- Wow, wow. - It's that easy.

-Wow. -Was that--

Family has-- oh, thank you.

Was that too intense, that game?

Your family knows how to...

I've had a few.

Your family knows how to have a good time.

-Yeah. -Wow.

Even-- even Cynthia's having fun, actually.

What other family traditions am I in for tonight?

-Jesus. -Yeah.

Um, okay.

Okay, let's do this.

- Just lift with your back. - Lift with your knees.

Lift with your back. Lift with your back.

Oh no. That was fun.

I like you, Carol, you're good people.

Thanks.

Hm.

-I like it here. -Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

See, being alone at Christmas isn't so bad.

Right.

All the people I work with, they feel sorry for me.

I-- They don't say it, but I can sense it,

I know they do. But...

it's just for a couple days a year.

-Yep. -What I like...

is that I don't have to deal

with anybody else's bullshit.

It's always my fucking mother, my goddamn sister-in-law,

wah, wah, wah.

What's wrong? Did I make it sound depressing?

I lied.

I have three kids.

Grown-ups, but um--

What do you keep in touch with them?

They're all at my house.

What?

So, first of all, forget everything I was saying,

don't listen to me.

All that shit I was saying before

was just to make myself feel better.

Being alone fucking sucks.

If we wanted to be alone, we wouldn't be talking to each other right now.

It's good to see you.

Don't give him another.

Come on, he's supposed to be driving me home.

-No way. -Mmm.

Carol.

You didn't ask, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

You should go home if you can.

Or at least go someplace nice.

This place is a shit hole.

I mean, it's my shit hole, but it's a shit hole.

Hi.

I had a great time last night.

Me too.

Um.

I promised my mom I'd do gifts with her this morning,

- so I should probably head back. - Right, right, right, right.

Um, but afterwards you and I can--

It's okay, honestly I-- I just--

Maybe I can take you out to, uh--

Honestly, Sam, it's okay.

But you don't even know what I'm about to say.

I'm so-- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What were you about to say?

Let me know if you hear from your mom.

Oh my God.

Merry Christmas, Lucy!

We were just coming back from church

and I thought we would stop by, so Jack could meet your father.

Uh, oh.

I'm-- no, I'm sorry.

He's-- he's not available right now.

Well, he and I spoke at the ice rink yesterday

and I definitely think he should be available.

He told me to stop by.

Uh, has your mother decided to turn up for the holiday?

It was nice to see you, Mrs. Baker.

Uh, listen, Lucy.

I don't blame you for having a bit of a childish attitude right now.

I mean, your mother has created quite the situation for you all.

Can you just please leave us alone?

Excuse me?

I said get off our property!

Mom, come on, let's--

No, Jack.

We have a coffee date and I don't care

how some uncivilized women

may have raised their children to be,

but where I come from

you welcome people into your home.

Hey!

You heard her, lady.

Get the hell off our frickin' property.

Oh my God, Timothy.

Is-- is that a gun?

Yeah.

It's a BB gun.

And I said scram, you waspy bitch.

Oh my God.

You're all heathens.

And your father probably hates you.

And Andrea hasn't said hi, by the way.

I think she thinks you're a sad divorced weirdo.

Just like your mother.

I am calling the police.

Why don't you go back to China, you townie trash?

It's Singapore!

He lives in Singapore, you bitch!

It's not even a communist country!

Thanks for the backup.

Anytime.

You think she's gonna call the police?

Oh, yeah.

Definitely.

What's going on?

Uh, Tim shot your BB gun at Mrs. Baker.

What?

She was insulting mom.

Oh, those two.

What does that mean?

One time your mother forgot to pick you

and Andrea up at ballet class.

You were like 4 or 5.

And, uh, well, you started to walk home

and World War III broke out.

What? What?

How come she forgot?

I gotta get back to the city.

Wait. Dad. Dad.

This is-- this is crazy.

You're not really leaving right now?

Look I-- I got a job.

I got a girlfriend.

I got dinner plans I've had for over a month.

Okay. Can--can't you just at least wait until mom gets back?

Lucy.

Nobody knows when that's gonna be.

You said last night you thought she was fine.

It's Christmas Eve.

You know I-- I don't know with your mother.

I never have.

I hope she's okay, but depression is no picnic.

You hope she's okay?

Dad, this is not-- it's not just depression.

Your mother had a tough childhood.

-A lot tougher than yours. -No.

Believe me.

You wouldn't even be here with us right now

if she hadn't run away.

Everything is always about you.

You and your stinking TV show!

You're the one that's insane!

Do you even know any of the details about our lives?

But she is the one that raised us.

If she is so crazy and depressed,

how did we all turn out mostly okay?

Look, here's some money.

If you need any more help with Tim let me know.

Let you know?

Yeah.

Why don't you just stay?

Because I'm not just gonna sit here and wait around.

Alright?

I made my peace with that decision a long time ago.

And you know what?

You gotta stop waiting around, too.

Stop waiting around!

Move on!

Well, I'm glad you're at peace, dad.

I put you kids through the greatest schools in the world.

I did my part.

You're not a child anymore.

Fuck.

Yeah? Well, if everyone's gonna get to give a little speech,

I'm pretty sure that I read in a fucking book once,

that actually that is the only thing that life is about.

Finding a bunch of people you love to wait around with.

Where are you going?

Order up my car from the end of the street.

I don't have to put up with this shit.

Great!

Wonderful!

I hope your new veterinarian girlfriend is over 40!

Jesus! Get up!

Wake up! Did you not hear anything?

Um, I don't feel well.

Get up! Get up! Get up!

We gotta go find mom. Get up!

We need to find her!

Can you pass me that water, please?

Oh my God.

Thank you.

Are you serious right now?

Alright! Let's go! Let's go!

Where are we gonna go, Lucy?

You have no idea where mom is.

Cyn.

I'm worried.

Come on!

You know what?

Fuck.

You better be pregnant or something.

I'm on birth control, you idiot.

Well, 2 percent of the time it doesn't work.

You know that's why you're divorced right?

'Cause you say crazy shit like that to people.

Whatever.

Sorry, I'm not America's sweetheart.

Dad?

Tim?

I can do this. Oh.

Oh my God. That's great.

I know-- I know exactly where I...

Fine. I fucking don't know anymore.

Anymore, anymore.

Of course.

Great.

Okay.

Yeah, I really want.

I think something just fell off Lucy Rauleigh's car.

-Hey. -Oh God, no, no, no.

No, no, Sam. Hi.

Uh, I just-- It's just.

Hi. It's not a good time.

-Right now. -Hi. You dropped your phone.

Well, I always wanted to be Jewish.

It's never too late.

So?

Um.

What do you think?

It's actually pretty standard dosage.

-Hm. -You, uh,

you've taken antidepressants before?

Uh, that's a very personal question.

No judgement.

I was on this stuff a little bit after my dad died.

And then I just decided to be sad for a while.

Hmm.

Have you read anything here?

Uh, no.

It might be helpful.

I just-- I don't think it's right.

Do you mind if I give it a read?

-Okay. -Yeah?

Yeah.

The last entry was five days ago.

"Had to put entire quart of ice cream down disposal.

No self control."

Oh my God. Mom.

Uh.

Uh, "June 5th.

Had another tense visit with Lucy.

I don't understand why she's so--"

No, no, no, no.

Mm, not that one.

Okay. Um.

Uh, December of last year.

"Am I in love with Frank Tropper?"

Frank Tropper? Our gym teacher?

Am I, uh...

What are you doing here?

Uh, well, let's see.

I work here now.

Oh, that's right.

Well, you look um...

- Amazing. - Mmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

I've been getting that a lot lately.

You look good.

Thanks.

So, what's going on?

Well.

Turns out the Republicans are right.

The breakdown of the American family

is destroying this country.

God, I'm sick of being so funny all the time.

You're not that funny, Tim.

Come on.

Don't make me cry.

No. I don't get to cry.

My sisters on the other hand.

Phew.

They cry whenever they want.

I mean if I was gonna cry,

this would be the place to do it.

In jail.

Well, you're not actually in jail, Tim.

-You're in a whole d-- -No, just let me be in jail.

Okay.

Okay.

You're in jail.

Oh man. Did you get married?

Yeah.

-I did. -What?

I know.

I know him?

No.

Good.

Well, I'm glad you're happy.

Oh yeah. Well.

Who said I was happy?

-Hmm. -No. I'm pretty happy.

I am pretty happy. It's...

-You sure? -Yes, I'm sure.

I'm sure.

Me too.

Yeah?

Good.

You wanna like go have sex or something?

Your office maybe or a cop car?

No.

-I'm sorry, no. -Worth a shot.

But I'm gonna go see what I can do to get you out of here.

-Okay? -Okay.

Thank you, Kate.

Officer.

Officer Kate.

Oh God.

I gotta shave.

I don't know.

Hmm.

What?

Umm...

Read it.

-"Sometimes I wish... -Read it.

...I can get rid of everything.

Get rid of every possession that I own, of all this weight

and find a way to start over.

Start over

and finally become her.

This elusive her that I was supposed to be,

but never seemed to become."

Wow.

Oh my God.

-Oh shit. -Where are you--

Just hide me.

- What? - It's Susan Baker.

- Oh, yes. - From this morning?

- Yeah. - Yeah-- y-- yes.

-Should we sneak out the back? -...the violent attack, Richard.

I did it. It was me.

Listen. I am gonna go to the, uh, beach house

by myself and, ah,

you and Jack can eat out today.

-Okay. I think she's gone. -Oh, good.

Alright.

I know where she is.

20th.

One, two, three, four, five.

That doesn't--

That doesn't make sense.

So, I got everything here. I get the satellite.

I can do, uh, this channel's called "The Groove".

Hey I got some mints. You want some mints?

Okay.

I have to go.

- Um. Did-- - Oh.

Are you just gonna drive to Susan Baker's summer house?

And how do you even know that's where she is?

No, I-- We were there years ago.

Um. And I will remember the exit.

Hey, do you want me to come with you?

Thank you.

You have Vodka Martini?

Oh.

It's my stepdaughter. I gotta take this.

So, I usually don't answer the phone

when I've got customers in the car, but I--

Hi, sweetie.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I-- I know.

I know. I'll be home in a few hours.

Okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, we can go to the movies tomorrow.

Alright.

Love you too, honey.

Merry Christmas.

Sorry about that.

Gotta answer for family, right?

Family first.

Phew.

Hey could you turn the car around?

I beg your pardon?

Could you turn the car around and drop me

where you picked me up?

Is it something--

'Cause we've been driving a while

-and I-- it's important to me. -Please.

Just turn the car around, alright?

What?

Is it your mother?

What? No.

I don't know.

What?

I'm pregnant.

Oh.

Wow.

Oh, sweetie.

Wow.

Were-- You have a boyfriend?

Yes, dad. His name is Andrew.

-I've told you that. -Andrew.

Good. It's good.

No.

No, it's not good.

-It's not good. -What?

Um, do you love him?

-Yeah. -Mm-hmm.

I hate you.

Aw.

I hate you and mom.

You've ruined my life.

Where-- where's Lucy?

Wait. Lucy's gone now, too?

Of course, she is.

Look, uh.

You're what?

Twenty-nine now?

You don't even know how old I am?

I do.

29.

Yes, I'm 29.

Your mom was only--

your mom was only 25 when she had Timmy.

You're gonna be fine.

No. No, I don't want it to be fine.

I want it to be normal.

I want to have a normal engagement

and then a normal wedding.

Just because you have that stuff doesn't mean it's gonna work.

You know, look at you.

You were a mistake.

And you're my most-accomplished, best-adjusted child.

You think I'm accomplished?

Yeah, I do.

Yeah.

You're gonna be just fine.

This isn't how my life was supposed to be.

Tell me about it.

[engine revving, tires screeches

What in the hell?

Are you following me, Lucy?

I have golf clubs in the back seat.

-You can't go in my house, -I'm not--

you psycho. You can't hurt me.

My mom!

I am not your mother.

I know you're not my goddamn mother.

What are you doing?

God, stop!

Lucy! Stop!

Ow!

Lucy! Come on!

What are you doing?

Don't!

Stop!

Lucy! Stop!

Stop!

Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

Look!

Carol?

- Yes. - Remember we--

why we had to put it there in the first place.

Yes. It was like 15 years ago.

I know.

Oh, we're so old.

Oh, hi.

-What is so funny? -Oh, Lucy.

Well-- well, we were just laughing about how...

-Mom. -...none of our kids can stand us.

What are you?

-And then we-- -Who would have thought?

What are you doing in this house?

I, uh, I thought you were dead.

I have some Chinese food in the car.

I'm gonna go get some Chinese.

Oh, dammit.

I--

Are you wearing Susan Baker's bathrobe?

Um, yeah.

She-- she had two in the closet.

They're so soft.

God.

I think it's silk.

Mom. Mom.

I thought you drowned yourself.

Lucy, I'm not going to drown myself.

I'm not going to kill myself, Lucy.

Oh God.

I just didn't want to wake up in the house anymore

with that feeling.

I-- I just, I couldn't.

-I just-- -That feeling--

The feeling between us?

Mom, I don't know why...

...I-- I'm so mean to you.

I mean, I mean, I know.

It's fine, Lucy.

It's fine.

And I will get rid of the wedding album.

You took it back out of the trash?

Well, yes.

Oh my God.

Of course.

It's okay.

You can keep it.

Ta-da!

Thank you.

- Thank you, Mrs. Baker. - Fortune cookies.

Your favorite, right?

Sorry, I broke into your house.

Yeah, me too.

You know what?

It's alright.

Did you actually go swimming in the ocean, Carol?

I took a dip.

I did.

It was amazing.

Well, I mean, it was horrible, but--

I felt so much better.

I think we should do it.

Like hold hands and run into the water together?

No.

Ah, Lucy.

Absolutely not.

Oh my God.

Fucking cold.

Oh my God, that was awesome.

And then when you were born,

your sister used to always say, "That's my baby."

Like, "No, Lucy, that's your sister."

"It's my baby." Jesus.

You-- you were her favorite thing in the world.

Her toy, yeah.

And, uh, you'd start crying and then she'd start crying.

It was great. And then...

- Aw, Lucy. - ...your brother Timmy, you know, he-- he'd come

He'd come--

Well, speaking of which...

-I've been texting you. -Hi.

Ah, yeah. I saw those. Very sweet.

Um, has anybody noticed a smoke outside?

- Smoke? - Outside?

-Yeah. -Really?

Here?

Yeah, over in the corner by the bush.

What?

- Oh yeah. - Where's my cell phone?

- Okay. Okay. - That's--

- This is fine. - That's substantial.

- Fine. I'm sure it's fine. - Wha--

- We should get some water. - Tim, where's my cell phone?

- Some water? - Get some water.

- We got a bucket or something? - -I don't know where any-- Ah.

- The vent goes out the other side. - -Where's--

- You got a pot? - -Yeah, I don't know where anything is.

Yeah, it's getting a lot worse.

This is good. This is good.

-There you go. Use... -Yes. Okay. Alright.

...the potato pot.

Oh my God. This is the slowest... - Where's my cellphone?

...faucet in the history of the world.

Well, water pressure's something--

-The whole house will be burned down-- -How did this fire start?

When you buy a house,

get one with good water pressure, seriously,

-to make your life better. -What?

Did you put the lights up wrong?

-Like what? -No, I put-- they're amazing.

This is the best house on the block.

Okay, well-- That's why they're on fire? Okay.

Those lights are 40 years old.

-I bought those. -They're 40 years old?

Yeah, a lot of things are.

What is happening?

Dad?

Oh my God.

What did they do?

Oh my God.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, um, I need to tell you something.

What? Um...

You were right.

About where mom was?

-Yeah, I mean-- -No, no, no, no.

I'm pregnant.

Can you just not say anything sarcastic right now, please?

I don't think that I could take it.

I'm very--

Aren't you glad you came back?

You're gonna be such a great mom, Cyn.

This is something I've never seen before.

I didn't even know you two knew each other.

-what's-- what's going on? -What's going on?

Is someone dead?

-What? -Nobody's dead.

Nobody's dead.

Tell me what-- what--

You can tell her.

-Tell me what? -Cyn is gonna have a baby.

What? No way!

-A baby? -What?

A baby?

Oh my-- oh my God!

How about that, huh?

Love you.

This is a great.

God, but you're completely crazy, right?

Oh my God.

-We get to buy little shoes. -Yeah. Yeah.

-Hey. -Hi.

-I figured I'd stop by. -Everything okay?

Mm-hmm.

Good?

- Hey. - Hi.

Merry Christmas.