Original subtitles

Comin'.

Oh, hi, Miss Thompson. Hello, Hazel.

Wipe off your feet and come on in.

Well, give me your coat, honey.

I'll tell Mr. B. You're here.

Mr. B.! Yoo-hoo. Your sister's here.

He's in the den. Really?

The way you announced me, I thought he might be down in the south 40.

Oh, you ain't kiddin'.

We don't need no intercom in this house. Not with my lungs.

My pop says I must have been born in a high wind.

I rather imagine it was the other way around.

Deirdre. George.

How's the new house coming? It's the most magnificent thing you've ever seen.

Mr. Williams... he's the decorator we brought in from New York...

You know, he did the apartment for the duchess of...

Yes, Dorothy told me about it. He's doing each room around an object of art.

Oh, come on along, Deirdre. I know that Dorothy wants to hear all about it.

She's out here in the workshop. Uh, wait a minute, George.

I think I must have dropped my handkerchief.

Oh, if this ever has pups, I hope you give me one.

Oh, here she is.

Boy, is she ever loaded down with bundles.

At last. It's almost 7:30. I'm starved.

Oh, I bet Missy isn't.

I bet she stopped and had a chocolate ice cream soda.

We know a place where they got real gooey ones.

I bet she stopped there. Hello, darling.

Hi, dear. Hi.

I feel like Sinbad the sailor coming home with a boatload of treasure.

Oh, George, I left my car in the driveway.

Would you put it in the garage for me, dear?

All right, but let me give you a hand with these things. Careful of that one, Hazel.

It has... It's crystal. It's very rare, very delicate crystal.

Oh. Hi, mother. Crystal? What for?

Go ahead, darling, open it and look at it.

I'm hungry. Let's have dinner first. I don't wanna open it now.

Well, I do.

Oh, boy! Is that somethin'!

Oh, boy!

I bought it for Deirdre's new house.

I ain't sayin' nothin' against your sister, Mr. B.,

but you notice she didn't get Missy to decorate her new house.

She got one of them snooty New York decorators.

Hazel, I'm glad she did.

That way we've avoided all kinds of family conflict.

George, what are you looking for?

- I'm trying to find the sales slip. - It's in my purse, George.

I told them not to put a sales slip in the box.

I'll show it to you, darling, after dinner.

- It cost that much? - George, why don't you put the car in the garage?

And I think I'll just go upstairs and freshen up a bit before dinner.

All right.

No, no, don't touch it. That's genuine crystal.

It looks like glass.

A thing like that could cost 50 or 60 smackers.

Wait till I thump it, see if it's any good.

It's good.

Let me try. Oh, no, no.

And another thing expensive crystal does,

if you sing a loud, clear note, it makes it ring.

A fella named Caruso used to bust things that way.

Now, don't you touch it, 'cause I gotta go fix dinner.

I don't believe it.

♪ I've been workin' on the railroad ♪

It didn't ring.

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

They sure don't make crystal the way they used to.

I busted it.

I just don't think it's fair, that's all.

Well, what isn't fair about it?

Seems perfectly normal and logical to me.

Hazel broke that vase, and now she wants to pay for it.

Perfectly simple. I don't believe she broke it.

At least, not the way she said.

She said she broke the vase, and now she wants to pay for it.

After all, somebody has to pay for it.

I didn't break it, you didn't break it, Harold didn't break it.

Harold? Harold, what are you doing out of bed?

You said your prayers hours ago. I can't sleep.

- Well, why not? - I have something to tell you.

- What? - Well, I...

What is it, Son?

Well, I...

What is it, Harold?

Well, I...

I just wanted to say good night again.

Hazel... No, don't interrupt me now, Sport.

I'm figurin' somethin' out.

Yeah. Tsk. $38 short.

That's what that ever-lovin' Christmas spirit did to my bank account.

- How much do you have to pay? - $70.

- But I broke it. - No, you didn't.

If I'd have put it on the table nice and steady,

it never would have fallen off.

Oh, that must be Charlie. I called him this morning.

Now run along. Who's Charlie?

He's a man that buys things. He buys everything

from old furniture to old gold teeth.

Now run along. Go on. Scoot. Okay.

Hazel, here I am.

Oh, thanks for comin'. You sure got here in a hurry.

Oh, I came full speed. I didn't run, I flew.

- My feet became wings. - Wait a minute.

Wipe the mud off your wings before you fly into my kitchen.

Hazel, uh, you don't happen to have any of those muffins you make so good...

The muffin with blueberry jams? Oh, that's why you were in such a hurry.

Oh, you always were a sucker for my muffins.

Yeah, I think I could manage a few.

That's wonderful. But, then,

what are muffins and blueberry jams without, uh, scrambled eggs?

What are scrambled eggs without bacon?

And what is bacon without that delicious coffee you make?

I'll tell you what all those things will be without you...

if you don't come up with a decent price for my heirlooms.

They're in my bedroom. Come on.

Now, Charlie, I'm gonna be absolutely honest with you.

I'm gonna lay my cards on the table.

I need 38 bucks, so I'm gonna have to part with some of my lifetime heirlooms.

And I'll be as generous as I can with you, Hazel.

Just show me what you have. Oh, look at this.

This is the Eiffel Tower. See, it's got a clock in it.

Of course it don't keep such good time, but that ain't important.

Anybody that can afford a work of art like this can afford a watch.

But I got bad news for you, Charlie.

This is one heirloom that ain't for sale. It isn't?

Well, in this business, you have to be prepared for setbacks.

You never saw anybody as surprised as Mr. Baxter...

when I told him I was gonna leave this to him in my will.

For a couple of seconds, I thought he was gonna die first.

Oh, Harold's old teddy bear.

Well, this ain't for sale. Naturally.

Oh, here's somethin'. Now, this is a sterling silver buttonhook.

I had that since my fourth birthday.

Well, it's very beautiful, but, uh,

buttonhooks are not exactly my best seller.

Have you seen the fashion magazines lately?

Button shoes is comin' back in style again.

Oh, now here's a genuine tortoiseshell vanity set.

It's never been used. Look at that brush.

Good as new. I never brushed my hair with it so much as once.

Was very smart of you. A sailor friend of mine brought this back from Hong Kong,

right after the war. Second World War?

Yes, of course. Tortoiseshell's very hard to find.

You know, most of the stuff you see nowadays is just plastic.

Turtles are gettin' scarce, I guess.

What is this? Oh.

Another sailor friend of mine brought that back from the Pacific Islands.

You certainly loved the Pacific fleet and vice versa.

It's a head made out of a coconut shell.

You do somethin' to it, and it brings you luck. Uh, you do what?

Well, if I knew that, I wouldn't be needin' 38 bucks.

Oh, now here's a real hot item.

Ain't that somethin'?

That's a picture of me painted by the great James Whitehead.

James Whitehead? You never heard of him?

I don't seem to remember the name.

Oh, for Pete's sake, he's the next thing to Rembrandt.

This is probably worth a fortune,

but I don't think I got any right to keep a fine work of art like this all to myself.

It seems so selfish. It ought to be in some fine museum.

So, I'd consider 10 bucks.

Hazel, I've got to be honest with you. Oh, sure, Charlie.

That's what the world needs, more honesty. I'm all for it.

You know, these things all put together aren't worth very much.

Well, if we're bein' honest, I can't put up much of an argument, can I?

But, Hazel, we've been friend for such a long time,

and I've gone up in the world since then.

I used to be just a junk man, and now I'm an antique dealer.

Yeah, how did that happen? I just painted a different sign on the door.

But I can never forget the old days.

I used to come around and ask if you had anything to sell,

and you always gave me something to eat.

You didn't know it, but, uh,

sometime that was the only food I had for several days.

Well, you always ate enough to last that long.

Well, if you ask me, in all these things put together...

are not worth more than, uh,

$38.

I'll give you $38 for the lot. It's a deal.

Oh, thanks.

Sure took long enough.

Notice anything? Oh, yes, Hazel. Thank you so much.

I went to the same store where you got the other one, but they were all out of them.

So that's why it took a week because they had to send to the warehouse.

I haven't gotten the bill for the first one yet. It cost $70.

Shh. Yes, so your mother told me.

Hazel didn't have enough money to pay for it.

Then where'd you get it? Oh, I got a buck here and there.

You know, I sold some things to Charlie.

He's the one that comes around buyin' up old things.

But don't worry, Mr. B., he didn't get the Eiffel Tower.

They can't get that away from me. That goes to you in my will.

You know something, Dorothy, I think she has an ulterior motive.

I think she's forcing me to keep her alive.

- Oh, George. - I'm only kidding.

Oh, one of the things I sold was a hand painting of me as a little girl.

I don't believe I've seen that, have I? No, I don't show it around.

I don't exactly like it. It don't do me justice.

The guy that painted it, Mr. Whitehead, was sort of a seamy guy, you know?

Always lookin' on the sour side of life.

- James Whitehead? - That's right.

How did you know his first name was James?

I don't know.

That's funny. The name just popped into my head.

- Rings a bell with me too. - Sure, James Whitehead.

He had a room at our house until Mama started askin' for the rent.

So then she kept the picture for $12 ransom,

but he wouldn't pay it 'cause he said it wasn't worth it.

Darling, where's our art dictionary?

- In the cabinet in the living room. - James Whitehead.

You know, I think he belonged to one of those New York groups.

You mean that deadbeat really did become famous?

Here it is. "Whitehead, James. Born 1890. Died 1950.

"Interpreter of life in the great cities.

Never afraid to soil his hands in the grime of reality."

He certainly never soiled them in the grime of honest work.

"A deadly realist, deep-seated impulses shunted him out of the studio...

into the behavior of people in lower New York."

They want to know what shunted him out,

it was my mother's deep-seated, respectable foot.

Do they have a picture of him there?

No.

Hello, Morning Herald?

Can you give me the home phone number of Mr. Bowles, your art critic?

Yes, I'll hold on.

Thank you.

"A social historian, modernistic art has begotten nothing...

to compare with the vitality and scope of his honest realism."

Hmm, what do you know? Hello, Mr. Bowles?

Mr. Bowles, I'm terribly sorry to disturb you at the breakfast hour,

but I'd like to ask you a question.

You're familiar with the paintings of James Whitehead?

No, no, I'm not joking.

Well, roughly, can you tell me how much one of his paintings is worth?

Well?

Hello? Hello? How much?

Since his death, the last painting was sold to the Winthrop Museum...

for $9,000. Holy smoke!

If I was worth $9,000 when I was a kid, what must I be worth now?

Hazel, how much did you get for those things you sold?

Charlie only paid me 38 bucks for the whole lot.

Boy, he must have discovered the secret of that coconut head.

Hazel... If my portrait was worth $9,000...

Hazel, would you just stop a minute and listen.

Maybe Charlie doesn't know the value of that painting either.

If not, maybe we can get the painting back.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't you go. You'll give the whole thing away, Hazel.

I already gave the whole thing away.

It could be bad for you to go. Let me go.

See, I'll play it very cagey.

I won't let on as though I'm looking for a painting at all.

I'll tell him I'm looking for a...

What was one of the other things you gave him? A sterling silver buttonhook.

A sterling sil...

Yes, sir? I'm just looking. Thank you.

You're quite welcome to look, sir.

And if you don't see what you're lookin' for, just ask.

We've got it, if we can find it.

You obviously don't keep your paintings in one place.

Oh, no, no, no. They're all around.

I've been meaning to get things organized.

I've been meaning to for 20 years.

Are you interested in a painting?

No, no, no, no. Nothing like that.

No, I more or less had my heart set on a, uh, sterling silver buttonhook.

I'll beg your pardon?

I collect them. Oh.

As a matter of fact, I have one right over here.

I bought it from a lady last week.

Beautiful, beautiful. And that tortoiseshell vanity set.

Are you collecting those too?

Well, I can't think of a better time to begin.

I'll take this. And this coconut head.

My, I must say, this lady, whoever she is, certainly had excellent taste. Hmm.

- Uh, did she sell you anything else? - Yes, she did.

An old painting.

Well, I must say, I do admire her taste.

May I, uh, have a look at it?

Unfortunately, I've already sold it.

Sold it? Who to? I don't know the man's name.

I never seen him before. He just wandered in and gave me eight dollars for it.

Eight dollars? You mean to tell me a big transaction like that,

and you didn't even get his name or address?

I doubt if I'd know him again if I see him.

You realize what you've done? You've sold an original James Whitehead painting.

An original James Whitehead, valued at $9,000.

9,000...

Magnificent, Mrs. Thompson.

There's no other word I can use. It is magnificent.

Then you unquestionably authenticate it as a James Whitehead?

Oh, unquestionably. And I shall go even further.

I will say it is the most valuable painting by Whitehead in existence.

Really? Yes. Now, notice the child's mouth.

She is smiling. Whitehead has never been

known to have painted any other smiling face.

The world of art owes you a great debt of gratitude...

for discovering this lost masterpiece.

Ah, well... Well, credit where credit is due.

Mr. Williams, my decorator, discovered it.

Oh, I am sorry, you don't know each other.

Mr. Williams, Mr. Bowles. How do you do?

Mr. Bowles is the art critic on our newspaper.

Oh, really? And may I ask where you found the painting?

From a private collector who wishes to remain anonymous.

Oh, I see my brother and his wife. Would you excuse me, please?

Certainly. George.

Deirdre, it's beautiful, just beautiful.

Dorothy, darling, thank you for the lovely gift.

I put it in the dining room. Deirdre, it's the most beautiful house I've ever seen.

And this room is exquisite. I gave Mr. Williams a free hand,

- and this is what he's done with it. - Where's Hazel?

Hazel? You mean Hazel's here?

Not as a guest, George.

Darling, I forgot to tell you.

Well, you see, George, my guest list got so large,

and I needed more servants, and in dire distress, I asked Hazel to help me out.

Hi, folks. Some shindig, huh?

Hazel, I didn't know you were here. I'm workin' the terrace room.

Boy, what a mob out there. Hazel, I must ask you again...

not to tell jokes when you're serving the cocktails.

Oh, it's all in the line of duty. If they laugh too much,

I know they've had enough to drink.

My picture.

- Your picture? - Sure, the one I sold to Charlie down at the junk shop.

Mr. Whitehead painted it of me when I was a kid.

Well, I look pretty darn good in a gold frame, if I do say so myself.

I'd better get a glass of water, George. No, no, she'll be all right.

Same thing happened to Charlie down at the junk shop...

when he found out he'd sold it to Deirdre's decorator for eight dollars.

George, stop that.

I... I'm all right. I'm all right.

What else can I tell you about James Whitehead? Look at her.

Well, of course, in those days nobody thought he had any talent.

Oh, are those chocolate bonbons over there?

Oh, thanks. Now, where was I?

You were telling us some anecdotes about Mr. Whitehead. Oh, yeah.

Well, in a minute, I'll think up some more good ones.

And just what do you think is so funny, Mr. Williams?

Oh, I know what you're thinking, Mrs. Thompson. I doubt it.

Yes, it's true, I did find this painting in an antique shop.

Junk shop. But that in no way alters the value of the painting.

You have a very rare art treasure. Rare indeed.

I can see myself identifying it to guests...

as a picture of my brother's maid.

I can hear her calling me every day to find out who's admiring her now.

I can just imagine... The fact that the subject is still alive...

could enhance the value of the painting.

Uh, human interest, you know? Excuse me.

Mr. Whitehead must have been very fond of you.

Oh, sure, he was. Naturally.

Otherwise he'd never have painted you smiling. Oh, he didn't paint me smilin'.

But there it is, a glorious smile.

Oh, no. Not him. He was an old Gloomy Gus.

No, I painted in the smile myself.

- You painted over a Whitehead painting? - Sure.

- How could you do such a thing? - Oh, it was easy.

All I had to do was turn the mouth up at the corners.

That wasn't half as hard as some of the other stuff I did.

What other stuff?

Well, he had my knees comin' out of the holes in my stockings.

That wasn't neat, so I just donned it up with some white paint.

And then I put the flowers up in the corner to brighten up the picture.

You know what this means?

She's tampered with it. Now, let's not get excited.

A good technician can remove her handiwork,

and the original painting will be found intact underneath.

Oh, no, it won't. I scraped all the paint off underneath,

you know, so it wouldn't be bumpy.

Worthless. Absolutely worthless.

It no longer has any shred of value.

Oh, well, let's not all get all steamed up about it.

Let me tell you some more about Mr. Whitehead.

There was the time... There was the time...

She hadn't paid me for this yet.

You have just cost me $9,000.

Well, at least the frame is worth something.

Hazel...

I still think it looks better with the flowers.

Now, Hazel, don't pay one bit of attention to what they said.

Disregard them. That's a fine painting no matter what anybody says.

You really think so, Mr. B.? Absolutely.

Well, then why don't we hang it in the living room?

Harold!

Where's Rosie, Son? I think she's in the kitchen.

Darling, why aren't you in bed? I can't sleep.

I haven't been able to sleep all week. Why not, Son?

Dad, I gotta tell you the truth.

Hazel didn't break that vase.

I did.

- What? - She tried to tell me I didn't do it, but I know I did.

Somehow I knew you didn't break it, Hazel.

I think it was wonderful of you.

Well, I don't. If other people take the blame for him,

how can he learn to face responsibilities?

If I lose a legal case, does the judge say it was his fault?

Or if I have an accident, does the other driver take the blame?

When I do something wrong,

I...

Hazel,

when I do something wrong, I hope I have a friend just like you.

Oh, you have, Mr. B. You got me.

Well, I guess I better go find a frame for my picture.

Hazel, thanks for trying to help me.

Oh, that's all right, Sport. It was a real pleasure.

It's the most wonderful feelin' in the world...

to do a good deed in secret and then get found out.

This has been a Screen Gems Film Production...

from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures.