All language subtitles for Hazel S01E21 Hazels Mona Lisa Grin.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.SNY

Comin'.

Oh, hi, Miss
Thompson. Hello, Hazel.

Wipe off your feet
and come on in.

Well, give me your coat, honey.

I'll tell Mr. B. You're here.

Mr. B.! Yoo-hoo.
Your sister's here.

He's in the den. Really?

The way you announced me, I
thought he might be down in the south 40.

Oh, you ain't kiddin'.

We don't need no intercom in
this house. Not with my lungs.

My pop says I must have
been born in a high wind.

I rather imagine it was
the other way around.

Deirdre. George.

How's the new house coming? It's the
most magnificent thing you've ever seen.

Mr. Williams... he's the decorator
we brought in from New York...

You know, he did the
apartment for the duchess of...

Yes, Dorothy told me about it. He's
doing each room around an object of art.

Oh, come on along, Deirdre. I know
that Dorothy wants to hear all about it.

She's out here in the workshop.
Uh, wait a minute, George.

I think I must have
dropped my handkerchief.

Oh, if this ever has pups,
I hope you give me one.

Oh, here she is.

Boy, is she ever loaded
down with bundles.

At last. It's almost
7:30. I'm starved.

Oh, I bet Missy isn't.

I bet she stopped and had
a chocolate ice cream soda.

We know a place where
they got real gooey ones.

I bet she stopped
there. Hello, darling.

Hi, dear. Hi.

I feel like Sinbad the sailor coming
home with a boatload of treasure.

Oh, George, I left my
car in the driveway.

Would you put it in the
garage for me, dear?

All right, but let me give you a hand with
these things. Careful of that one, Hazel.

It has... It's crystal. It's very
rare, very delicate crystal.

Oh. Hi, mother.
Crystal? What for?

Go ahead, darling,
open it and look at it.

I'm hungry. Let's have dinner
first. I don't wanna open it now.

Well, I do.

Oh, boy! Is that somethin'!

Oh, boy!

I bought it for
Deirdre's new house.

I ain't sayin' nothin'
against your sister, Mr. B.,

but you notice she didn't get
Missy to decorate her new house.

She got one of them
snooty New York decorators.

Hazel, I'm glad she did.

That way we've avoided
all kinds of family conflict.

George, what are
you looking for?

- I'm trying to find
the sales slip.
- It's in my purse, George.

I told them not to put
a sales slip in the box.

I'll show it to you,
darling, after dinner.

- It cost that much?
- George, why don't you put
the car in the garage?

And I think I'll just go upstairs
and freshen up a bit before dinner.

All right.

No, no, don't touch it.
That's genuine crystal.

It looks like glass.

A thing like that could
cost 50 or 60 smackers.

Wait till I thump it,
see if it's any good.

It's good.

Let me try. Oh, no, no.

And another thing
expensive crystal does,

if you sing a loud, clear
note, it makes it ring.

A fella named Caruso
used to bust things that way.

Now, don't you touch it,
'cause I gotta go fix dinner.

I don't believe it.

♪ I've been workin'
on the railroad ♪

It didn't ring.

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

They sure don't make
crystal the way they used to.

I busted it.

I just don't think
it's fair, that's all.

Well, what isn't fair about it?

Seems perfectly
normal and logical to me.

Hazel broke that vase, and
now she wants to pay for it.

Perfectly simple. I don't
believe she broke it.

At least, not the way she said.

She said she broke the vase,
and now she wants to pay for it.

After all, somebody
has to pay for it.

I didn't break it, you didn't
break it, Harold didn't break it.

Harold? Harold, what
are you doing out of bed?

You said your prayers
hours ago. I can't sleep.

- Well, why not?
- I have something to tell you.

- What?
- Well, I...

What is it, Son?

Well, I...

What is it, Harold?

Well, I...

I just wanted to say
good night again.

Hazel... No, don't
interrupt me now, Sport.

I'm figurin' somethin' out.

Yeah. Tsk. $38 short.

That's what that ever-lovin'
Christmas spirit did to my bank account.

- How much do you
have to pay?
- $70.

- But I broke it.
- No, you didn't.

If I'd have put it on the
table nice and steady,

it never would have fallen off.

Oh, that must be Charlie.
I called him this morning.

Now run along. Who's Charlie?

He's a man that buys
things. He buys everything

from old furniture
to old gold teeth.

Now run along.
Go on. Scoot. Okay.

Hazel, here I am.

Oh, thanks for comin'.
You sure got here in a hurry.

Oh, I came full speed.
I didn't run, I flew.

- My feet became wings.
- Wait a minute.

Wipe the mud off your wings
before you fly into my kitchen.

Hazel, uh, you don't happen to have
any of those muffins you make so good...

The muffin with blueberry jams? Oh,
that's why you were in such a hurry.

Oh, you always were
a sucker for my muffins.

Yeah, I think I
could manage a few.

That's wonderful. But, then,

what are muffins and blueberry
jams without, uh, scrambled eggs?

What are scrambled
eggs without bacon?

And what is bacon without
that delicious coffee you make?

I'll tell you what all those
things will be without you...

if you don't come up with a
decent price for my heirlooms.

They're in my bedroom. Come on.

Now, Charlie, I'm gonna be
absolutely honest with you.

I'm gonna lay my
cards on the table.

I need 38 bucks, so I'm gonna have to
part with some of my lifetime heirlooms.

And I'll be as generous
as I can with you, Hazel.

Just show me what you
have. Oh, look at this.

This is the Eiffel Tower.
See, it's got a clock in it.

Of course it don't keep such
good time, but that ain't important.

Anybody that can afford a work
of art like this can afford a watch.

But I got bad news
for you, Charlie.

This is one heirloom
that ain't for sale. It isn't?

Well, in this business, you
have to be prepared for setbacks.

You never saw anybody
as surprised as Mr. Baxter...

when I told him I was gonna
leave this to him in my will.

For a couple of seconds, I
thought he was gonna die first.

Oh, Harold's old teddy bear.

Well, this ain't
for sale. Naturally.

Oh, here's somethin'. Now,
this is a sterling silver buttonhook.

I had that since
my fourth birthday.

Well, it's very
beautiful, but, uh,

buttonhooks are not
exactly my best seller.

Have you seen the
fashion magazines lately?

Button shoes is comin'
back in style again.

Oh, now here's a genuine
tortoiseshell vanity set.

It's never been used.
Look at that brush.

Good as new. I never brushed
my hair with it so much as once.

Was very smart of you. A sailor friend of
mine brought this back from Hong Kong,

right after the war.
Second World War?

Yes, of course.
Tortoiseshell's very hard to find.

You know, most of the stuff
you see nowadays is just plastic.

Turtles are gettin'
scarce, I guess.

What is this? Oh.

Another sailor friend of mine brought
that back from the Pacific Islands.

You certainly loved the
Pacific fleet and vice versa.

It's a head made
out of a coconut shell.

You do somethin' to it, and it
brings you luck. Uh, you do what?

Well, if I knew that, I
wouldn't be needin' 38 bucks.

Oh, now here's a real hot item.

Ain't that somethin'?

That's a picture of me painted
by the great James Whitehead.

James Whitehead?
You never heard of him?

I don't seem to
remember the name.

Oh, for Pete's sake, he's
the next thing to Rembrandt.

This is probably
worth a fortune,

but I don't think I got any right to keep
a fine work of art like this all to myself.

It seems so selfish. It ought
to be in some fine museum.

So, I'd consider 10 bucks.

Hazel, I've got to be honest
with you. Oh, sure, Charlie.

That's what the world needs,
more honesty. I'm all for it.

You know, these things all put
together aren't worth very much.

Well, if we're bein' honest, I can't
put up much of an argument, can I?

But, Hazel, we've been
friend for such a long time,

and I've gone up in
the world since then.

I used to be just a junk man,
and now I'm an antique dealer.

Yeah, how did that happen? I just
painted a different sign on the door.

But I can never
forget the old days.

I used to come around and
ask if you had anything to sell,

and you always gave
me something to eat.

You didn't know it, but, uh,

sometime that was the only
food I had for several days.

Well, you always ate
enough to last that long.

Well, if you ask me, in all
these things put together...

are not worth more than, uh,

$38.

I'll give you $38 for
the lot. It's a deal.

Oh, thanks.

Sure took long enough.

Notice anything? Oh, yes,
Hazel. Thank you so much.

I went to the same store where you got the
other one, but they were all out of them.

So that's why it took a week because
they had to send to the warehouse.

I haven't gotten the bill for
the first one yet. It cost $70.

Shh. Yes, so your
mother told me.

Hazel didn't have
enough money to pay for it.

Then where'd you get it? Oh,
I got a buck here and there.

You know, I sold
some things to Charlie.

He's the one that comes
around buyin' up old things.

But don't worry, Mr. B., he
didn't get the Eiffel Tower.

They can't get that away from
me. That goes to you in my will.

You know something, Dorothy, I
think she has an ulterior motive.

I think she's forcing
me to keep her alive.

- Oh, George.
- I'm only kidding.

Oh, one of the things I sold was a
hand painting of me as a little girl.

I don't believe I've seen that,
have I? No, I don't show it around.

I don't exactly like it.
It don't do me justice.

The guy that painted it, Mr. Whitehead,
was sort of a seamy guy, you know?

Always lookin' on
the sour side of life.

- James Whitehead?
- That's right.

How did you know his
first name was James?

I don't know.

That's funny. The name
just popped into my head.

- Rings a bell with me too.
- Sure, James Whitehead.

He had a room at our house until
Mama started askin' for the rent.

So then she kept the
picture for $12 ransom,

but he wouldn't pay it 'cause
he said it wasn't worth it.

Darling, where's
our art dictionary?

- In the cabinet
in the living room.
- James Whitehead.

You know, I think he belonged
to one of those New York groups.

You mean that deadbeat
really did become famous?

Here it is. "Whitehead,
James. Born 1890. Died 1950.

"Interpreter of life
in the great cities.

Never afraid to soil his
hands in the grime of reality."

He certainly never soiled
them in the grime of honest work.

"A deadly realist, deep-seated
impulses shunted him out of the studio...

into the behavior of
people in lower New York."

They want to know
what shunted him out,

it was my mother's
deep-seated, respectable foot.

Do they have a
picture of him there?

No.

Hello, Morning Herald?

Can you give me the home phone
number of Mr. Bowles, your art critic?

Yes, I'll hold on.

Thank you.

"A social historian, modernistic
art has begotten nothing...

to compare with the vitality
and scope of his honest realism."

Hmm, what do you
know? Hello, Mr. Bowles?

Mr. Bowles, I'm terribly sorry to
disturb you at the breakfast hour,

but I'd like to ask
you a question.

You're familiar with the
paintings of James Whitehead?

No, no, I'm not joking.

Well, roughly, can you tell me how
much one of his paintings is worth?

Well?

Hello? Hello? How much?

Since his death, the last painting
was sold to the Winthrop Museum...

for $9,000. Holy smoke!

If I was worth $9,000 when I was
a kid, what must I be worth now?

Hazel, how much did you
get for those things you sold?

Charlie only paid me 38
bucks for the whole lot.

Boy, he must have discovered
the secret of that coconut head.

Hazel... If my portrait
was worth $9,000...

Hazel, would you just
stop a minute and listen.

Maybe Charlie doesn't know
the value of that painting either.

If not, maybe we can
get the painting back.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't you go.
You'll give the whole thing away, Hazel.

I already gave the
whole thing away.

It could be bad for
you to go. Let me go.

See, I'll play it very cagey.

I won't let on as though I'm
looking for a painting at all.

I'll tell him I'm
looking for a...

What was one of the other things you
gave him? A sterling silver buttonhook.

A sterling sil...

Yes, sir? I'm just
looking. Thank you.

You're quite
welcome to look, sir.

And if you don't see what
you're lookin' for, just ask.

We've got it, if we can find it.

You obviously don't keep
your paintings in one place.

Oh, no, no, no.
They're all around.

I've been meaning to
get things organized.

I've been meaning
to for 20 years.

Are you interested
in a painting?

No, no, no, no.
Nothing like that.

No, I more or less had my heart set
on a, uh, sterling silver buttonhook.

I'll beg your pardon?

I collect them. Oh.

As a matter of fact, I
have one right over here.

I bought it from
a lady last week.

Beautiful, beautiful. And
that tortoiseshell vanity set.

Are you collecting those too?

Well, I can't think of
a better time to begin.

I'll take this. And
this coconut head.

My, I must say, this lady, whoever she
is, certainly had excellent taste. Hmm.

- Uh, did she sell
you anything else?
- Yes, she did.

An old painting.

Well, I must say, I
do admire her taste.

May I, uh, have a look at it?

Unfortunately,
I've already sold it.

Sold it? Who to? I don't
know the man's name.

I never seen him before. He just wandered
in and gave me eight dollars for it.

Eight dollars? You mean to
tell me a big transaction like that,

and you didn't even
get his name or address?

I doubt if I'd know
him again if I see him.

You realize what you've done? You've
sold an original James Whitehead painting.

An original James
Whitehead, valued at $9,000.

9,000...

Magnificent, Mrs. Thompson.

There's no other word I
can use. It is magnificent.

Then you unquestionably
authenticate it as a James Whitehead?

Oh, unquestionably.
And I shall go even further.

I will say it is the most valuable
painting by Whitehead in existence.

Really? Yes. Now,
notice the child's mouth.

She is smiling.
Whitehead has never been

known to have painted
any other smiling face.

The world of art owes you
a great debt of gratitude...

for discovering this
lost masterpiece.

Ah, well... Well, credit
where credit is due.

Mr. Williams, my
decorator, discovered it.

Oh, I am sorry, you
don't know each other.

Mr. Williams, Mr. Bowles.
How do you do?

Mr. Bowles is the art
critic on our newspaper.

Oh, really? And may I ask
where you found the painting?

From a private collector who
wishes to remain anonymous.

Oh, I see my brother and his
wife. Would you excuse me, please?

Certainly. George.

Deirdre, it's beautiful,
just beautiful.

Dorothy, darling, thank
you for the lovely gift.

I put it in the dining room. Deirdre, it's
the most beautiful house I've ever seen.

And this room is exquisite. I
gave Mr. Williams a free hand,

- and this is what
he's done with it.
- Where's Hazel?

Hazel? You mean Hazel's here?

Not as a guest, George.

Darling, I forgot to tell you.

Well, you see, George,
my guest list got so large,

and I needed more servants, and in dire
distress, I asked Hazel to help me out.

Hi, folks. Some shindig, huh?

Hazel, I didn't know you were
here. I'm workin' the terrace room.

Boy, what a mob out there.
Hazel, I must ask you again...

not to tell jokes when
you're serving the cocktails.

Oh, it's all in the line of
duty. If they laugh too much,

I know they've had
enough to drink.

My picture.

- Your picture?
- Sure, the one I sold to
Charlie down at the junk shop.

Mr. Whitehead painted
it of me when I was a kid.

Well, I look pretty darn good in a
gold frame, if I do say so myself.

I'd better get a glass of water,
George. No, no, she'll be all right.

Same thing happened to
Charlie down at the junk shop...

when he found out he'd sold it to
Deirdre's decorator for eight dollars.

George, stop that.

I... I'm all right.
I'm all right.

What else can I tell you about
James Whitehead? Look at her.

Well, of course, in those days
nobody thought he had any talent.

Oh, are those chocolate
bonbons over there?

Oh, thanks. Now, where was I?

You were telling us some anecdotes
about Mr. Whitehead. Oh, yeah.

Well, in a minute, I'll think
up some more good ones.

And just what do you think
is so funny, Mr. Williams?

Oh, I know what you're thinking,
Mrs. Thompson. I doubt it.

Yes, it's true, I did find this
painting in an antique shop.

Junk shop. But that in no way
alters the value of the painting.

You have a very rare
art treasure. Rare indeed.

I can see myself
identifying it to guests...

as a picture of
my brother's maid.

I can hear her calling me every day
to find out who's admiring her now.

I can just imagine... The fact
that the subject is still alive...

could enhance the
value of the painting.

Uh, human interest,
you know? Excuse me.

Mr. Whitehead must
have been very fond of you.

Oh, sure, he was. Naturally.

Otherwise he'd never have painted you
smiling. Oh, he didn't paint me smilin'.

But there it is,
a glorious smile.

Oh, no. Not him. He
was an old Gloomy Gus.

No, I painted in
the smile myself.

- You painted over
a Whitehead painting?
- Sure.

- How could you do such a thing?
- Oh, it was easy.

All I had to do was turn
the mouth up at the corners.

That wasn't half as hard as
some of the other stuff I did.

What other stuff?

Well, he had my knees comin'
out of the holes in my stockings.

That wasn't neat, so I just
donned it up with some white paint.

And then I put the flowers up in
the corner to brighten up the picture.

You know what this means?

She's tampered with it.
Now, let's not get excited.

A good technician can
remove her handiwork,

and the original painting will
be found intact underneath.

Oh, no, it won't. I scraped
all the paint off underneath,

you know, so it
wouldn't be bumpy.

Worthless. Absolutely worthless.

It no longer has
any shred of value.

Oh, well, let's not all get
all steamed up about it.

Let me tell you some
more about Mr. Whitehead.

There was the time...
There was the time...

She hadn't paid me for this yet.

You have just cost me $9,000.

Well, at least the frame
is worth something.

Hazel...

I still think it looks
better with the flowers.

Now, Hazel, don't pay one bit
of attention to what they said.

Disregard them. That's a fine
painting no matter what anybody says.

You really think so,
Mr. B.? Absolutely.

Well, then why don't we
hang it in the living room?

Harold!

Where's Rosie, Son? I
think she's in the kitchen.

Darling, why aren't
you in bed? I can't sleep.

I haven't been able to sleep
all week. Why not, Son?

Dad, I gotta tell you the truth.

Hazel didn't break that vase.

I did.

- What?
- She tried to tell me I didn't
do it, but I know I did.

Somehow I knew you
didn't break it, Hazel.

I think it was wonderful of you.

Well, I don't. If other people
take the blame for him,

how can he learn to
face responsibilities?

If I lose a legal case, does
the judge say it was his fault?

Or if I have an accident, does
the other driver take the blame?

When I do something wrong,

I...

Hazel,

when I do something wrong, I
hope I have a friend just like you.

Oh, you have, Mr. B. You got me.

Well, I guess I better go
find a frame for my picture.

Hazel, thanks for
trying to help me.

Oh, that's all right, Sport.
It was a real pleasure.

It's the most wonderful
feelin' in the world...

to do a good deed in secret
and then get found out.

This has been a Screen
Gems Film Production...

from the Hollywood
Studios of Columbia Pictures.