Original subtitles

It's the weed capital of the world.

I guess I said, huh?

Yeah.

You're right. Can you imagine what would happen if we did get caught?

It would have been mayhem.

So we got to Amsterdam without getting into trouble, which was a first for

Kumar. I'm telling you, we could have smoked on the plane. Nothing would have

happened. Whatever.

It was like a whole new adventure all over again.

Only this time our quest wasn't about burgers. It was about love.

And weed and horse. Kumar. What?

The moment we saw the city, it was like we died and went to heaven.

Amsterdam is the weed capital of the world.

So much weed.

Generous.

It is a perfect society.

After seeing the movie Hospital on the plane ride over, we decided to check

a five -star hotel where nobody gets killed.

Not a currency.

After we checked in, we went into the city in search of my true love.

Maria. I tricked off to her before. Don't say that.

What's her clan? I don't want to fight with you.

Unfortunately, I had no idea how to find her.

After spending the whole day looking for her, I was about to call it quits.

But then, there she was.

She's fucking hot.

She looks so beautiful.

We didn't have to say much. It was clear we were meant to be together.

Yeah, get in there.

Yeah, get in there.

I know I got a trouble.

Thanks, Kumar.

It didn't take long for the two of us to rekindle our passion.

After a couple of kisses, Maria and I became inseparable.

Yeah, tell me about it.

How dare you?

I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to get out and explore the city on my

own.

As I walked around Amsterdam, I realized just how insignificant and miserable my

life was.

I needed some kind of human contact, so I went over to the red light district.

This whore was weird.

She had enormous jaws.

Looking at all the whores there made me think about my ex -girlfriend.

How could she marry that douche? Didn't she still love me?

Whatever, there was nothing I could do except find the filthiest whore in the

district and destroy her with my thundercock.

Unfortunately, the dollar isn't as strong as it used to be, and I only had

enough money to finger bang her while she jerked me off.

She only charged me 50 euros, but it wasn't worth it. My soul felt empty, my

pubes itched, and my fingers smelled like sweat from a horse's vagina.

Needless to say, I was miserable.

Really? That's too bad.

Because Maria and I were having the time of our lives.

Ugh.

I wanted to show her that I thought she had large boobies.

We even decided to buy magic mushrooms.

Neither one of us had tried shrooms before, but I was confident I could

it. Maria, on the other hand, was another story.

Let's just say that the shrooms definitely worked on her.

To be honest, it got a little annoying.

Not because she was tripping out, but because I wasn't feeling anything.

I guess I was just too much man for the shrooms.

There's nothing worse than being with someone who's not in the same reality as

you.

I couldn't help but think of how awesome it would be if Vanessa was with me in

Amsterdam.

We could have had so much fun.

I never thought I'd be able to find love like that again.

Then I felt something.

Turns out I wasn't the only one in Amsterdam who was alone.

Fate brought them together.

She must be wealthy.

Gold earrings.

For the first time in my life, I met someone who made me forget about

I told her my name.

She told me hers was Ellie.

And with that, we went off together.

Listen, can we get back to this in a little bit? I wasn't done with my shroom

story.

So, after five hours, the shroom started to kick in.

At first, it felt weird.

Then it's scary.

Then I just freaked out.

This apple tasted like a banana.

I drank a phone.

Maria tried to help, but there was no use.

I needed to go outside to get some fresh air.

Big mistake.

Everything was spinning.

My mind was melting.

It felt like the world was trying to rape me.

I had to fight it off.

I swear to God she had a mustache.

After four hours, I finally came out of the trip.

Luckily, Maria was there to take care of me.

God, I love that woman.

Speaking of love, Ellie took me all over Amsterdam.

We went to the finest museum.

We drank Heineken.

We ate cheese.

And we made out all over the city.

Was it like a game you were playing, like let's make out at Landmark?

Yeah, we wanted to get all of them in.

It was like we were a married couple.

Why she vacuumed in the nude, I don't know.

What I do know is that everybody should.

I was so used to seeing her tits all the time.

The two of us had a lot of fun.

She even taught me the true meaning of a Dutch oven.

It was then that I realized I couldn't let her go.

Even though we only knew each other for a day, it was enough for me to make the

biggest move of my life.

The next day, we all ran into each other at the park.

I told Roldy that I wasn't going back to Jersey and that my new plan was to

marry Ellie and live in Amsterdam for the rest of my life.

I was shocked.

But like a good friend, I gave him my blessing.

The wedding was small, but perfect.

I don't know about perfect. I don't remember any hors d 'oeuvres. What was

with that weird priest?

He freaked me out.

After the wedding, I realized I'd forgotten to do something important.

Have a bachelor party.

But I convinced the girls to let us have one last night on the town.

It was great. We got drunk, we got high, we ate awesome food with belly dancers.

And then we made the mistake of going to a sex show.

What do you mean mistake?

I guess it was seeing that guy's balls that sort of threw me off.

I thought it was a very artistic show.

The next day, Maria and I had to leave to go back to Jersey.

Brody and I knew it would be a long time until we saw each other again.

Walking away, I was thinking about all the fun times Kumar and I used to have.

Even though he always got me into trouble, he was always there for me.

That was just last week.

It seems like four, five years ago.

Who would have thought that finding true love would mean the end of our

friendship?

Goodbye, Harold.

Goodbye, Kumar.

While you were hugging me, I looked at Maria's ass again.

Moment. Ruined.

Step done.

Nice job, douche.