Original subtitles

Yes. Wonderful!

Burning, baby!

You want the car? Do you want the car?

Take the goddamn car. Just a deal, isn't it, baby?

Take all the money! Take it all, I don't need it.

Just fucked my life over, baby.

What are you doing here? Get back.

Get back, son-of-a-bitches!

Go away. Stay away! Shit!

Oh yeah. You're screwed from the moment you start.

Don't believe anything they ever tell you.

It's all shit!

No, shit. You saw him jump into a burning car?

Yeah. And it was like... after a couple of minutes, man...

I could hear him frying.

I can still smell him. Kinda like... burning bacon mixed with rubber.

He didn't understand money. Like you, Jack.

Maybe he was trying to tell you something.

Come on, don't start with that. You know it's a good deal.

Yeah. Good deal. I can also flush my money down the toilet.

But I think about it, like I told you.

A banker friend of mine...

once took me inside a vault.

It was stacked with a couple of million in cash.

And the... whole room had this strange but familiar odor to it.

So, I started sniffing the money.

It was a mixture of a salty smell, with a little bit of ammonia.

And I started getting a hard-on.

And then, I realized what it smelled like.

It was pussy. I swear, Jack. Go ahead, take a whiff.

Go on, smell it.

Marvin, I don't know who you've been sleeping with, man, but that...

that money sure don't smell like any pussy I've ever smelled.

Hey, Jack. It smells like pussy. That's why a man can't do without it.

Leads him by the nose?

And it's no coincidence that all of our U.S. Treasurers are named...

Mary Ellen and Catalina.

Come on, think about it. They research this stuff.

Wait a minute. Are you telling me that the...

that the U.S. Mint adds the scent of pussy to all printed money?

Is that what you're telling me?

Why is it they love dollars all over the world?

Everybody loves dollars. Not just likes and uses, but loves.

Why is that, Jack? For Christ's sake, wake up.

You've got to understand money before I decide to invest.

Because if I believe you really understand money...

then I might be inclined to trust you with mine.

Sometimes, you know, I just give her a piece of bologna...

and put some mayonnaise on it and just...

let her whack me off.

You know, you've got some sick habits, dude.

What's sick?

Hey, man, you gotta take it where you can get it.

Yeah, I can see you out there in the jungle...

fucking gas tanks, gopher holes, flashlights.

Why don't you tell me something? What else do you fuck?

Man, you don't understand nothing. Sometimes, people just gotta do it.

Like my Uncle Arto. We used to work at a slaughterhouse.

They had all kinds of animals.

Sometimes, Arto or somebody else would get real horny, you know...

so they couldn't take it anymore.

You know, a man has his needs.

So, they'd do one of the ducks.

They'd take it up to the loft... you know.

Know what?

They did it with the duck. He'd fuck a duck

I saw him.

And when he was done...

he'd just twist his neck.

So, your uncle fucked a duck and then he killed it?

It's tough on the duck.

A man can't fuck a duck and let it live.

Well, you do a lot of damage.

I mean, you have to turn his head, so he doesn't face you.

Doggy style with a duck.

Let me ask you something, what do ducks have?

Do they have a vagina or... what?

Hey, I don't know. I just watched.

I don't need no duck.

You're a duck fucker. No more erotic duck fucking.

Wait!

- I'm so sorry! - That's okay.

- Oh my God, I am so sorry. - It's perfectly okay.

- Are you alright? - I'm okay.

- I didn't see you. I'm so sorry. - Are you alright?

Oh yeah. A hundred percent. I just...

deduct two minutes off the course and I'll be fine.

Oh God. I can't believe how clumsy I am.

Do you rollerblade?

No, I just...

I seem to just jog and that's... plenty.

You should try it some time. It's a great workout.

I think I'm probably a little too old for that now.

You don't seem that old to me.

You're in great shape.

And you're kinda cute.

Get outta here! Well...

Well, you know, you should try it some time. It's fun.

Excuse me. Are you... from around here?

- Yeah. - You are?

- Yeah. - Do you drink coffee...

from time to time?

- Yes, I do. - You know, some athletes...

Okay, now, he's...

asking her to meet him...

and he definitely wants a date.

Fucking bastard! I can't believe I was gonna marry this jerk.

It's better to find out now.

I mean, it's one simple test.

You know, it's one chance to prove that he...

and he's all over you.

I can't believe I was that stupid.

Well, you did come to us, so you must have had a suspicion?

No, not really.

I was more curious, you know. I was hoping he would pass.

I asked him if he was married and he told me...

he was between relationships.

Let me ask you something. Are they all like this?

Yeah. About seventy-five percent of the time.

Oh, boy.

Laura, I think the best thing you can do is just move on.

You know, don't... harp on this.

But don't you feel he should suffer some for what he's done?

Tim, how much would you charge...

to have him suffer a little for what he's done?

Just give me a round estimate.

Off the record?

We can help you out.

Well...

see, I figure you gotta have your values.

You gotta... stick by them, no matter what.

I mean... take your people... down in Belize, for instance, right?

They'd cut out someone's heart and they'd run up...

to the top of the temple steps.

Now, if that heart stopped beating...

by the time they got up there, they'd just run down...

and they'd get another one. Now, that's fucking weird, right?

But it worked for them. You see what I'm saying?

What I'm saying is that you gotta have values...

and you gotta stick by them, no matter what.

You stay true to yourself and everything flows your way.

- You become a servant of the... - Servant?

Why you want to become a servant, Bobby Ray?

Not a servant... like a servant servant, duck-brain.

What I'm talking about here is you become a...

a servant of fate, Leon.

See, I figure that conscience...

only produces people afraid of getting caught, right?

So, if you shed that, you shed fear.

And if you shed fear, you're free, you understand?

You're free to act out your fullest potential.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Fuck. I just need some money.

You smell that?

- Shit, man, that stinks, man. - There's money in the bank.

Park Service!

I don't want to sublet to my funeral.

What the fuck you talking about?

Get the fuck up and speak American, okay?

Honey.

Answer.

- Calm down. - I'm a good girl.

- And I'll bet you are. - I have a student visa.

Honey, I'm not with Immigration.

- Fuck you! - Got a live one.

Pull over right here.

No, Jack... come on.

We're just taking a look.

I just want to show you some history.

See that apartment building?

I built that back in 1957. First of its kind.

I sunk every cent I owned into it.

Yeah, I had this idea...

instead of building boxes for people to live in...

with the stairway going up on the outside...

that I would build it with the apartments facing one another...

with a tropical courtyard in between.

Sort of a mini-neighborhood, you know...

where people could socialize and get to know one another.

Had a lot of ideas of what to call it, but then...

some reporter came up with Garden Apartments and the name stuck.

That's how you made all your money?

Yep, that was the start. We had a vision.

L.A. could have been paradise.

Now, I'd like to level the entire L.A. basin.

Turn it into the world's biggest parking lot.

Jack, have you ever had an area fifty-one?

What the fuck is an area fifty-one?

It's a secret, but everybody knows...

- about it. Yeah. - Shit. Is this about her?

Christ, you know, I really hate when people get too personal.

What makes you say a dumb fucking thing like that?

Because it's always bad news.

You know, like some horrible thing happened in their life and...

I gotta listen to it. You know?

It's natural. There's always a woman who's gonna...

fuck up your life real good.

You see that building over there? That's the old Ambassador Hotel.

Big party place in the fifties and sixties.

That's where Bobby Kennedy got shot.

And I was in the kitchen once where he got shot.

In the spot where he fell, all the tiles have been...

picked up for souvenirs.

That's where we met.

In the kitchen?

No. In the hotel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's going on, Emma?

Same guy?

Alright, well, thanks for getting her out of detox.

Is she there?

Alright, I'll do something. Right. Yeah, I know. Bye.

Bad news?

Jack, have you got balls? I mean, I don't do business...

with a guy who doesn't have balls.

What? Now, you're asking me to unzip?

Don't be a wise-ass. Just head for the Hollywood freeway.

Isn't it amazing how it seems like everything is... chemical?

I mean...

I once read that love is a chemical thing.

That...

the chemical creates the obsession...

that makes us fall in love. And then, like two or three years later...

our bodies change chemically and we just fall out of love.

I mean, as a chemist, what do you think about that?

You're not my boyfriend.

Leon!

Leon, you wanna make her your little duck?

Sure.

You gotta take it where you can get it.

Now, what do you think about that?

Would you like to be Leon's little duck?

Would you like to come and cook for us?

You could... think of it as an internship...

and you could teach Leon there how to cook.

You ever seen a dolphin's dick?

Huge!

I saw one once at Sea World.

I'm not no duck!

I'm not no duck!

Let's get this show on the road!

- Hi. - Hi. How are you?

Good, how are you?

Better now. Did you have any trouble finding this place?

- Nope. None at all. - Well, you look just delicious.

- Well, thank you. - Oh my. My!

It looks like she's alone.

But just in case she shows up or she's got some low-life guests.

Ain't this a bit extreme?

You know how to use it, don't you?

Natalie?

Hey, Marvin.

Over here.

I thought I was dying.

My heart... my heart's been beating like a hummingbird.

I feel the earth spin.

Looks like you're trying real hard to die.

Don't be a shit.

Take me up to bed.

No!

Mar!

Jack, do me a favor.

Pick her up, take her to the car.

Take me inside.

- I think I'm gonna puke. - Nah, don't do that.

Did you see my rooster? His name is Zeus.

He thinks that he's an eagle.

And he eats tuna fish and he drinks Jack Daniels.

He's my baby.

A race car driver.

Okay.

Nat!

Pussycat!

You are so... doggone beautiful.

No, I... I'm not actually into... that kind of thing.

It's just not my style. No big deal.

Just relax, Joe. It's a game I always play.

And if you wanna play with me, you have to play the game.

Well, what... kind of... game?

Well, I like to be in control.

I like it when a man is totally helpless.

- Yeah? - And I can do anything...

and all things to him.

You do want to be my slave, don't you, Joe?

I think so.

Aren't you getting a little excited just thinking about...

- what might happen? - Yeah, I am.

This is never simple, is it?

The way I like to have fun.

- Next time... - Yeah?

- It's your turn. I'll be the slave. - Yeah.

Dominance...

- and submission. - I know what you're talking about.

- Don't you ever think about it? - Right now, I am.

It makes everything more intense.

Sign me the fuck up! Come on, baby.

Let's get on board. Go ahead. One time.

Yes!

Now, I know what you're talking about.

I thought you were kidding before...

but you're the real thing, aren't you?

You know what I like.

You a mind reader?

You saw it from go, didn't you? You saw it from go.

You said, "Joe, I know you like to get chained up a little bit."

Well, I do. I always have. Never been, but I always have.

Put it on tight.

You don't want me escaping, do you?

Cause if I escape, I'm gonna beat your ass.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah.

I'm gonna beat your ass! Put it on tight.

- Yeah, you know what I'm saying. - You're a woozy.

My little petite chu-chu.

Is that what you are? Are you my little puppy spank dog?

Yeah, grab it.

It's your world, baby. I'm just a squirrel looking for a nut.

You know what I'm trying to say to you?

You window shopping? Do you like what you see?

Get a little cooking oil and put it on my power source.

You know what we could do? We could...

get a little wax and put it on my nipples.

What are you doing?

Amanda, what are you doing?

You're my favorite muffin in the history of the world.

Wha...

Oh, shit!

Amanda, are you gonna rip me off?

Is that what this whole thing is about? With thi...

Is that what this is about?

I mean, why are you getting dressed? That's... crazy.

Have you seen me lately? It's all good.

I mean, where could you possibly be going?

Amanda, would you please just talk to me?

Come on. I'm your guy. Just talk to your guy.

Stop the bombing.

Baby, this is all part of the game, isn't it?

You're a freak.

You're my little freak, aren't you?

This is the part where I watch you and tell you how much I want you...

and you torment me until I'm just completely and utterly psyched out.

I want you, baby. I do.

I want you to come over here and touch it.

I want you to rub it around a little bit.

I want you to do, quite frankly, whatever you want to do to it.

Listen, I'm begging you. I want you to dominate my ass.

Baby...

- you're pathetic. - I know!

- I'll be seeing you. - Oh God!

You destroy me, you're so fine.

You're so fine, you blow my mind, Amanda!

Amanda?

So, how badly was the building damaged in the quake?

Bad enough. Joe and I picked it up from the Japanese...

at twenty cents on the dollar.

We'll keep her in one of the model units.

Stash her in there. Let her sleep it off.

Son-of-a-bitch.

Okay. Here we go...

- Bad. - There you go.

This is nice.

Pour yourself a drink.

How ya doing?

I'm beat.

She knocks the hell out of me.

She pisses me off and breaks my heart at the same time.

Natalie was such a... pretty, talented kid.

She could have done anything. Had everything.

She's always strung out.

Just like her mother.

I think women aren't the adults they pretend to be.

They live in their imagination.

They're like kids. They make up the world in their own heads.

That's why you never know what the hell they're gonna do.

Yeah, but that's what makes 'em interesting, right?

Bullshit!

It's what makes them untrustworthy.

Yeah. Like you, Jack.

You've been doing jobs for me a long time, but can I trust you?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Can I, Jack? Can I trust you?

Don't!

These... can you put away the garbage and clean up?

I don't do garbage.

So, how are the lovebirds doing?

Well, that's good.

You sure do got small feet there, Dot. Is that a...

- Is that an Oriental thing? - I don't know.

My feet are okay.

Who wants big feet?

Farmer have big feet. Not people from the city.

I have big feet.

Size thirteen.

Hey, a man needs big feet to conduct real business.

People with big feet... smell.

Don't!

Touchy.

I don't smell.

- Bobby Ray, do I smell? - Get your armpit out of here.

- I ain't no dog. - Hey, smell is important.

It's alright if people smell some.

It's not good to smell like nothing.

I gotta take a leak.

Okay, Dot, dear. Come on over here and have a seat.

What?

- Come over here and sit down. - No.

- I'm gonna get you. - Don't.

- Come on! Put it down. - Don't.

- Set it down. - What?

Everything's gonna be okay. Come on.

I just want you to have a little seat...

- Don't... - I wanna have a little talk.

No!

Come on. Sit down.

No!

There you go!

Fuck you!

Yes!

So pretty.

There we go.

Why are you treating me like a dog?

Well, because you look like you might bark at any time.

Me and Leon...

we got some business to take care of...

so we're gonna be going out for a while.

That means you're gonna be alone, okay?

Now, if I was you, when I was cooking...

I'd make sure I get it right.

Cause if you don't, you're gonna fry in this fucking place.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I'm not going to cook for you.

You are cute.

That was beautiful!

I can't leave you two alone for a minute!

I gonna go out and make some calls. Natalie's gone.

Gone where?

You know that dumb fuck in the Lincoln that almost hit us?

- Yeah? - I've never seen that car...

here before. I think that's that old man we've been talking about...

so I'm... gonna go get the ball rolling, okay?

Alright, she's asleep.

I want you to stay here with her this afternoon, okay?

Oh, man, I don't know. I mean, what if she gets sick, you know?

You know, I don't got my car. I mean...

maybe we should take her to a clinic.

No. She'll just freak out.

There's no phone here, so... here's my cellphone if you need me.

I'll come back later.

Hey!

You want this?

No. You keep it... for now.

Come on, Amanda, bring it back in here, baby.

Bring it back in here and put it right on my nose.

Hiya, Joe.

Gee, what a strange place to meet you.

You remember me, don't you?

The woman you're supposed to marry in four weeks.

The woman you're supposed to be faithful to.

The woman you love, remember?

Yeah, baby. I remember.

I just... have to tell you one thing, right off the bat here.

This is not what it looks like.

- What does it look like, Joe? - I don't know...

but if you just help me out of these cuffs, I can explain...

- the entire thing to you. - Well, I don't have the keys, Joe.

Joe, I wonder who has the keys?

You know what... here, let me look.

Let me just look for something to help you out of this situation.

Look what I found.

Look what I found, Joe.

I see what you've found, but that sure as shit's...

not gonna help us out of these cuffs.

These are fucking steel, they're not clay.

- This is real, baby. - You know what I...

you know what I'm gonna do?

I am gonna punish you for what you've done to me...

- What? - you fucking pathetic bastard!

You wanna know what I'm gonna do, baby? I'm gonna cut it off.

Get the fuck out of here! You can't cut it off.

There's no cutting it off!

- Yes... - No!

- I can. - Oh no! No! Laura, look!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I gave you all my love and trust and some girl comes along...

and shows a little interest in you and...

- you're ready to give up everything? - No!

You are a selfish bastard who doesn't give a shit about anybody else!

Baby, listen! Now, come on!

Everything you're saying is true. It is.

I don't know why I did what I did, but I'm so sorry...

and I love you more than... I love you more than my breath.

I love you more than air, baby.

You're a sorry excuse for a human being!

You never thought about how much this was gonna hurt me...

and you hurt me! And now, it's your turn.

No. You can't!

No, I'm sorry.

You're not worth it. You're not even worth it.

God, how I hate you.

- I hate you! - No, baby, come on.

Laura, baby, don't go. Come on! Don't go. Come on...

why does everybody go around here?

Laura, come on.

You gotta help me with these fucking cuffs.

Laura!

Amanda! Laura! You wacky fucking bitches!

This guy doesn't live like he's rich.

Look at this.

Beets, potatoes, bananas.

There's not even a beer here. There's no bread, no mayo.

This guy's a big shot real estate developer...

lives like a truck driver.

Hey, I could cook us something.

Yeah, like what?

Tomato soup.

Tomato soup?

Tomato soup is not a real food, okay?

I need some real food. Do you know what I mean? Like steak and eggs.

Something to re-grease my stomach with.

Yeah, I make it real good. Some garlic, some chili pepper.

See, chili...

now, there's a real food. A little pork, a little beef.

Add a can of beer and...

And there's something with some calories. Yeah.

Hey, maybe you oughta go out and get us some chili!

No, maybe I shouldn't.

I could add some milk.

Oh yeah, that's a good idea.

Add some milk to your chili.

What is that, some kind of jungle food? Probably bugs too.

Yah, I don't eat bugs.

Yeah, he probably fries 'em up till they're nice and crunchy.

Amanda!

I know you can hear me, baby!

You got cottage cheese thighs!

You got a double chin and you got droopy fucking eyes.

Hey, Laura, you wanna know something?

I'm currently sleeping with your sister! Oh my God!

And she's not a moaner like you.

She a groaner... at least she... Lisa goes like this...

Instead of your quiet ass in bed.

"Joe, take it out of there and put it in my ass."

I would never fuck you in the ass! I wouldn't do you the favor!

That was nice.

So...

you're my babysitter.

I guess.

Just for a little while.

Do you golf?

But I'm gonna learn.

That's where the money is.

- So, what's your name? - Jack. With a "J".

Well, I'm Natalie, Jack.

And you work for Mar?

I help him out.

And he's gonna do you a favor.

Are you a little entrepreneur without money?

You got a nasty mouth, babe.

Don't take it personally. See, I know Mar pretty well.

And the kind of people he attracts.

Anyway...

I don't give a shit.

He's just trying to help you out.

He's a liar. You'll find out.

You never know what's real with him.

So...

if I wanna leave...

are you gonna try to stop me?

Probably. Look, why don't you just relax?

Just kick back, wait till he gets here.

Then, you guys can work this shit out?

You don't look particularly stupid. Are you?

Oh, brother.

Let me ask you something. It's... been bugging me for a while.

You can call a man an asshole...

but what if it's a woman?

I mean, there's names like bitch and cunt but, you know...

that's not the right sentiment.

They're the wrong flavor. So, what is the right word?

Like prince and princess, actor, actress...

Is it asshole-ess?

Oh, man.

- Can you help me, please? - Hey! This is private property!

- How'd you get back here? - Oh God! My foot!

What's wrong?

I'm lost.

What'd you do to your foot? Some dog chew on it?

I cut it and...

it hurts.

So dizzy.

I thought you were a burglar. I mean, I...

I hate thieves.

I hate 'em more than anything!

Except maybe liars. Here... what's going on?

I am not... I'm not a thief, but I'm just...

Jesus. You are really messed up.

- I'm so tired. - Are you here with anybody?

Come on, don't go out on me. Come on.

Hurts.

Alright. I'll bring you inside. Come on.

It's okay. I'll take care of you.

Alright.

Here we go. It's okay.

Come on. Stay with me.

I got you.

- Hey, Leon. - What?

Come here and take a look at this.

Shit.

Shit, somebody's here.

Hey, Marvin. How's it hanging?

Has she got talent or what?

What the fuck are you doing here? Get your ass outta my house.

Well, actually, I'm watching this show and it's not done yet.

Hey, you want something to eat?

Cause Leon's in the kitchen making some... tomato soup.

Hey, Leon! You like tomato soup, don't you?

Fuck off. What do you want?

Straight to the point.

You know who I am?

How the hell would I know who you are? I never met you before.

You are a tricky old bastard, aren't you?

Hey, you never did answer my question.

You think she's got talent or what?

Yeah, she's... she was talented. She had potential.

And her daughter?

Yeah. The same.

Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Well, you know me and you know her, so you know what I want, right?

Yeah, I know what you want.

And I...

And I want you to leave her alone.

Well, you wanna tell me, when did you get into the kidnapping racket?

Didn't kidnap her.

- Well, where is she? - Don't know.

- Don't know? - No.

He don't know where she is.

Well, if you don't know nothing, I guess we should just leave?

I guess we should just... but are you sure that you don't know...

cause me and Natalie, we...

sorta had this thing going.

Can't help you.

You know that lying is the only thing that separates the...

animal from the people. Did you know that?

It's the one thing that they just cannot do.

You see, that's what makes us humans. That's what makes us people.

You know

the Eskimos have twenty-two ways for saying snow.

I bet there are just as many ways to tell a lie...

- I can't help you. - I can't hear you! What's that?

I can't help you. Can't help.

You can't help me. You know what?

You're really starting to fuckin' piss me off!

Let's go.

Come on. You must be getting senile.

Must be all that shit food you've been eating.

You still have a thing for her mother...

and now you think you're gonna save her daughter.

Kiss my ass!

Spunk, you shut up, you... got spunk.

- What in the hell smells? - Shit, the soup is burning.

I got an idea. It's in the kitchen.

Fuck.

Son-of-a-bitch!

Last one.

Okay.

That wasn't so bad.

Okay.

You just sleep it off.

Help me!

I am on the other side of this wall.

Help!

Don't stop.

What the fuck?

I have been tricked!

S... O... fucking S!

Hey, don't move.

- I'll be right back. - I'm on the other side of this wall!

Help me!

What the fuck is going on?

Man, you're into some serious shit!

Thank God you heard me!

I'm so... glad to see you.

Do you think you could help me out of this thing?

It's very precarious for me.

Well, I don't know, man.

You're a strong man. You should be a real weightlifter.

You're a strong...

Yes!

Why don't you just come in and sit down?

That fucking bitch!

I mean, do you realize that the worst ones are the ones...

you think you'd really just die for?

And do you know why?

- Why? - Because you really think...

you've got something.

And then, they start messing with your head.

And you know what the funny thing is?

You can spot 'em a mile away...

because they all got that one special physical feature.

They do. I don't care if it's the way their hipbone protrudes or...

the way their lip curls up or something about her...

delicious belly button or her lips or ears...

whatever it is, it sucks you in and suddenly, you're doomed.

And you start acting stupid so fast. And that's when it begins.

Everything you do is wrong. Everything you know is wrong.

If you even open up your mouth to speak, she wants to start...

a fucking war. A fucking war!

Usually over trivia. Really small, dumb shit.

Like... leaving the cap off the toothpaste.

That's good for a forty-eight hour war right there.

And that's why people go postal. Trust me, that's just exactly why.

It's the little things in life. They just push us too far.

But I'm going to get her.

I'm sorry, but I am going to get her.

Major league! I mean, just who does this cunt think that she is?

Coming into my life and dictating the terms of it to me. Okay?

Fucking do this! Fucking do that!

Gotta be a complete wacko for even thinking...

she can pull off a stunt like that.

Okay? So, fuck her!

Fuck her!

Fucking pussy.

Oh no.

- Jesus Christ! - Just hold it, hold it.

Come on!

Ready...

It's only gonna get worse, Marvin!

You're gonna end up looking like tomato soup.

Why don't you just tell me where she is?

- No. - You got something to say?

Jesus Christ! I'll make you a deal.

- I'll pay you to leave her alone! - So, I would say...

about 200,000 dollars oughta get you what you want.

How does that sound?

You'll get out of the state, right?

- I'm as good as gone. - Okay.

- I'm as good as fucking gone. - I'll make the arrangements then.

Okay. Take it easy.

When a man sees a beautiful woman...

a beautiful woman...

he reacts.

He does something.

End of story.

I mean, what... did she expect?

I go for runs on my lunch break.

I'm a certified fucking public accountant.

I crunch numbers all night and all day! What did she expect?

I'll tell you what she should expect!

To fucking have her fucking thyroid ripped out with my nuts!

Nice friend.

Next time, when we hear banging, don't let me leave the room, okay?

What next time?

Hello?

Hello!

It's what I do for a living.

Come on.

Are you a chemist?

Actually, I..

I prefer to...

I prefer to think of myself as an alchemist.

I read about that once. You change ordinary metal into gold?

Transmitting matter. Yeah.

I don't think that can be done.

Well, I can't make gold but...

some things... better than gold.

Well, I was a chemistry student at Stanford. What are you making?

This is just venom. Later, I turn it into antitoxin, antisera.

- No gold? - No. No gold. Just anti-venom.

How do you make it?

Well, I've got some horses.

When I inject them with the venom, their immune system kicks in...

and creates antibodies.

Later, I withdraw the blood and I extract the antibodies.

Does it, you know, harm the horses?

No. Not at all. As a matter of fact, it pays the bills.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever heard of a place called Vilcabamba?

- Vilcabamba? - Yeah, it's a place in Ecuador...

where people live to be about a hundred and thirty...

to a hundred and forty years. It's sort of a valley...

where five valleys converge beneath the Reclining God.

Anyway, people live incredibly long lives there.

It's sort of a...

a natural paradise.

So, I went down there to go do some research, right?

To check out the chemistry. To see if this is true...

see if it's even possible.

The only thing I could find was a Huilca tree...

which puts out about twenty-five percent more oxygen...

than almost any other tree. Doesn't that sound great?

But another thing they had was the San Pedro cactus.

It's kind of like peyote, only much stronger.

Do you get high?

You mean drug?

Something like that.

I make drug sometime for people, but it's not a good drug.

Really? What were you making?

Methamphetamine.

That's like synthetic bullshit.

That's pretty unsophisticated for a Stanford chemist.

I didn't graduate yet.

Well, the real stuff is refined from nature.

It's transmuted.

Like... wine?

Yes! Exactly! Like old wine or aged scotch.

The thing is, it's gotta have an edge. It's gotta go both ways.

And when you're there and they collide...

man, it's combining opposites.

I think this is the secret to eternal life.

Really?

Really.

Keep your eyes number...

Come to shoot me. That's what I should have done.

And I worried that... I'm looking for you and looking...

Christ!

Alright, son-of-a-bitch.

Natalie!

Pussycat!

Come on. Honey, honey bunny, I'm here!

It's Bobby Ray. He can get real ballistic.

- Natalie! - Tell him you need some time alone.

- Do it. Go on. - Okay.

Bobby Ray! I need some time to think!

Come on! Open up the door! I don't got any time to...

patience or anything! Come on.

Natalie, open the door!

- Natalie! - Okay, stop pounding!

Shit.

You better leave. He's got a gun!

- He don't have no gun. - Is that right?

Fuck.

What did I tell you, you moron?

She's trying to kill you, man.

Relationships.

Let's get outta here, man.

There's always somebody behind these doors.

What was that... like a five iron?

Come on.

I hate this fucking car!

Can anybody hear me?

I do like the trunk though.

Ain't one of them hatchbacks! Waste of a fucking car!

Cause to me, a car isn't really a car unless it's got a real trunk.

Shut up!

Hell, doesn't anybody fucking listen to me?

- Bitch. - I could give you a jump...

but I don't have any cables.

Hey, you're a lifesaver.

I've been having a lot of problems with this here car.

I'll just get the cables out of the back, okay?

Just don't open your mouth, okay?

There's gonna be a lot of dead, dying bystanders. You got me?

Hey, he...

he gets motion sickness really bad and he...

- Are you alright? - has to travel back here.

Oh yeah, yeah. I'm alright.

I just feel like I gotta heave.

Are we leaving pretty soon, Bobby Ray?

Oh yeah. Yeah, Dad.

We're gonna be going as soon as this nice lady gives us a jump.

Okay? Just watch your knee.

He's a little...

He's a little... you know, crazy.

He suffers from... What's that thing where you fear being outside?

- It's called... - Agoraphobia?

Yeah! Agoraphobia.

Shit!

Fuck!

Man, it's not your day?

It's... red positive, black negative.

Yeah. I know.

I mean, you... you should have seen how hard it was just to...

just to get him out of the house this morning.

I mean, just a little trip to the bank was like a...

like a nightmare. I mean...

it just seems like it's that way...

with everybody these days. You know, everybody has some sort of...

some sort of excuse for... something they're not doing or some sort of...

you know, childhood psycho problem for, you know, for the way they are.

And to me, it's just... I don't know.

I just think it's bullshit. I... I just think people are afraid.

Afraid?

Afraid of what?

Well, they're afraid of everything, really.

But...

mostly, they're... afraid of themselves.

You baking back there, old man?

If you don't get me out of this fucking trunk right now...

you're not gonna see a dime.

You hear me?

Get your toaster or whatever, I don't give a shit what you do...

you gotta get me out of here right now!

Hey... hey, man, I know where you're coming from.

I told him, leave the old man with me. He don't have to travel.

Get what I'm saying? Cause I'm looking out for you.

You're dealing with a crazy motherfucker.

I mean, he don't know the difference between pussy and money.

Jesus Christ! What the hell are you talking about?

Every day...

I get up and I go over to my coffee shop, have a mocha.

And you know what I see?

I see a titty bar across the way.

Big picture of this babe, big.

I mean, it takes up the whole side of the building.

I see this picture every day for a year.

And I think, "Man, wow!"

So, I meet the owner and we start talking.

He's real friendly, you know, real helpful...

tells me about the business.

You see, when I went to a... community college

I spent an entire summer reading Freud.

Now, I'd sit in that library every day...

until I read every one of his books. And then...

I just stopped because it was all there.

What was there?

Well, it's simple really. It's... wish fulfillment.

I mean, you have a wish and it has to be fulfilled.

Otherwise, you just... go crazy.

And of course, it's...

it's very important to have good sex too.

Always.

I want to open up a place in Belize.

And he thinks it's a good idea.

See, I got a lot of ideas.

Now, I got dreams, I got drive.

I've got new blood.

You crazy motherfucker, you've got dreams!

Everybody's got dreams.

I'm dreaming about getting out of this trunk.

That's what I'm talking about. See?

Bobby Ray, he's out of control.

You don't know what he's going to do.

So, I'm saying...

listen to me.

I'm a businessman.

Maybe we can make a deal.

We can make a deal.

Get me... into the back seat. We can start talking.

Alright...

you got it! Come here.

You look out for Natalie, don't you?

She's a real nice piece of work.

She talks about you all the time.

She says you built a lot of this city.

Hey, building's good work.

- Now... - Don't touch that.

- How's it feel? - It's okay. It sting a little.

Well... Boy, that was nasty, I'm telling you.

But I think it's going to heal alright.

It's going to leave a little bit of a scar though.

I think you saved my life.

I wouldn't go that far.

It's to... make it heal faster.

You are nice, snake man.

I like you.

I like you.

Are you afraid of snakes?

Me? No.

Not really.

The number.

Hey.

You see what I mean?

I can solve two of your problems at once.

What do you think? It's worth the price?

Wanna touch him?

Go ahead, come on. You wanna touch him?

- No. - Go ahead. He won't spit.

I know, because those... cobras, they spit.

That's right. Very good. This is a western diamondback.

Their venom is just as strong as a cobra...

it's a very strong neurotoxin.

Go ahead, touch him.

- Soft. - Soft?

Hey...

what's your name?

- Dot. - Dot.

Short for Dotty.

- I'm Jerry. This is Ted. - Ted.

Dot. I like that. Very specific.

You know, I'm experimenting with something totally incredible.

I mean, something totally unique.

Do you want to experience something totally unique?

Something that'll make you feel... immortal?

What is it?

It's kinda scary. It's sort of like...

strapping yourself to the front of a roller coaster...

only it's a lot more intense.

- Roller coaster? - Yeah.

- I do him, we drive. - Where to?

I got a place I gotta cross. There's still the price.

You got a deal.

Nice shot, Bobby Ray.

Shit! No answer at Marvin's.

Oh, man.

That's the only way he could have known where we'd be.

He's got Marvin. Damn! He's got Marvin.

I think we should go over there.

Men are such pigs.

I bet the women's isn't this disgusting.

I can't believe that I let you fuck me.

I just saved your fucking life!

They weren't shooting at me.

Hey!

This is private. Take a walk!

I don't know what you two got going and I don't care...

but I got to piss bad.

I don't have anywhere else to go. My cab is still idling.

I don't piss in the street.

Let the man piss, for Christ's sake.

Thank you.

Why'd you say that about fucking me?

Cause you're a fucking loser. Cause people are shooting at me...

and because I'm stuck in a public men's toilet.

I ain't a loser! Why do you say that shit?

Oh God. And now, you're gonna whine.

God, men are such egomaniacs.

One little negative comment and your whole fragile ego just crumbles.

Well, I thought it was really great. I mean, you were into it.

I mean, don't say you're sorry you fucked me.

It was a mistake.

See, I always get myself involved with the wrong people.

It's not your fault. Okay?

Now, you're calling me wrong? I don't like that shit.

This whole area used to be the back lot of Twentieth Century Fox.

No shit.

See that building over there?

- Where? - That's where Ronald Reagan...

has his office.

Oh my God. You mean the gipper himself?

You know it.

Old Mr Trickle Down?

That shit never trickled down to us, did it?

Are you a Republican, Marvin?

- No. I'm a Democrat. - Democrat?

I don't... think I ever voted.

What about you, Leon? Do you... vote?

I mean, do they let Mayans vote?

What vote? I don't vote. You need money to vote.

Yeah. Hey, you see that, Marvin?

Me and Leon, we're your ordinary citizens.

You see, we don't vote because... well, it don't mean shit.

I mean, it's always the same asshole with a different face.

You know what I mean? And so, we create sideshows.

We create our... own show.

But it probably wouldn't make a difference...

cause I don't really think they'd... let a duckfucker vote anyway.

I told you I don't fuck ducks.

Quack, quack.

So, what kind of bank did you say this is anyway?

- It's a private bank. - Right, a... private bank.

I mean, isn't that illegal...

- or something? - No, it isn't.

You learn something new every day...

because I didn't know you could have a private bank.

Let's go, Grandpa.

Hello.

Where am I?

In an ambulance. You've been shot. You passed out.

Go ahead. Just... you... go ahead.

How bad is it? And don't lie to me.

Flesh wound.

Sir?

We're gonna have to stop the ambulance now.

Can't do that, Jack. We're expected.

We need to stop the ambulance right now!

Because I know who did this horrible thing to me. I do.

And I'm going to make her pay.

Every single remaining miserable minute of her life.

Just relax. We'll be there soon.

There is no relaxing, you don't understand.

She's trying to kill me.

She's trying to...

Hey, you!

How come there's no ambulance siren going off right now?

If we're in some big ambulance?

You'll be okay. No need for one.

Oh yeah? I'll tell you what, Mister...

Mister... Mister Fincher. Mister... Mister Guy.

How about some I.D. right now? That's... what I'd like to see.

Right now!

- I.D. for what? - Well, you don't strike me...

exactly as a... paramedic worker. As an E.M.S. guy.

- I'm in training. - Great! Somebody in training.

That's just exactly what I need with a bullet in my leg.

Hey, maybe you hit your head when you fell down.

Why don't you just chill out? You'll be okay.

She was probably just mad at you...

You know how they get. Just wanna cut it off, feed it to the ducks.

Hey, Mr Man. Excuse me.

Mr Trainee...

how much did she pay you?

Was this a big score for you?

A lot of money? Cut off a man's penis?

She didn't pay me anything.

That's some sick shit.

That makes you a sick motherfucker.

Just... the whole thing... just for joy.

Joy. You have nothing better to do but to get involved...

in conspiracies to cut off a man's penis.

- You're a sick motherfucker... - Hey, hey man! Stop.

You forgot something.

Hi.

Name is Bond... Jaime Bond.

Race car driver.

Wait here.

What the fuck are you looking for?

Something personal.

What is it with you and Marvin?

I mean, you got a real thorn up your ass about him.

All he seems to do is help you out.

You know, I... don't get it.

What's he... what's he done to you?

It's not what he's done, it's what he hasn't done.

Has he ever talked to you about my mother?

Yeah. Sometimes, I can't get him to shut up.

She was the best.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know he's in love with her.

See, she left when I was about six. She just sorta vanished.

So, I grew up with my aunt.

Marvin, he paid for my schooling and lots of other things.

I mean, why'd he do that?

I don't know. I guess... he had this thing for your mother.

- Maybe. - What do you think?

I think that nobody tells me shit.

Jack, come here.

Look at me.

Do you...

think that I have any features that might slightly resemble...

What the hell is so fucking funny?

To think that you might actually be his daughter.

Well...

Well, I don't really see anything. I mean, but that don't mean nothing.

I mean...

you got some of the same psychological things.

Like what?

You believe everything's a conspiracy, for one.

And you got that same hard-ass attitude.

- Fuck you, Jack! - Well, have you ever asked him?

No, not really.

I mean, I've hinted around a little and...

he just goes into this total act. He just closes up.

He ever tell you why your mother left?

No. He said he wasn't sure.

He said that she was having a tough time and...

she had some kind of breakdown.

But then...

who knows?

Shit!

What do we have here?

Hey, look at you!

Maybe we...

If you were a little bigger...

you and me, we could have something.

You could work for me, baby.

You're pretty cute.

Let's see what you got on top.

Come on. Take it off slowly.

Tease me. Yeah.

You're teasing me? You're a teaser?

Yes.

Baby.

That's a nice pair, baby.

Leon, yeah!

Leon!

Well, this is it.

This is the anti-venom.

Here, a small one for you and a big one for me.

Ready? Drink it.

It takes about two minutes before it gets into the blood system.

Then, home free.

I'll go move the tarp.

Don't know why I am always taking drugs.

You know, a doctor once told me...

I have a disorder.

She called it what...

compulsive.

You know, like, you know, one minute I'm like a maniac and...

the next, I'm...

I'm quiet like a baby.

Like when I'm first born...

very calm.

I was a calm baby.

Come on, have a look.

Look at 'em. Aren't they beautiful?

Yeah, I thought there would be one or two, not so many.

No, this is what I've been experimenting with.

This is what I was telling you about.

Jerry, if I do this...

you have to marry me.

- Sure. Okay. - No, you know, I'm serious.

This is... not funny. This is not like taking drugs.

No. I... look, I know it's not funny.

I know it's serious, but you told me you were...

- you weren't afraid of snakes. - No, I'm not afr...

- You know, I don't feel so good. - Okay, look, Dot... listen.

Just relax, okay? I mean, this is... what I was talking about.

Combining opposites. I mean, it's totally safe.

The ant... you know what?

If you do this for me...

I'll marry you.

If I do this...

I'm going to close my eyes.

Okay.

Come on.

Oh, shit!

Sweetheart!

Laura, come here!

The car... I bought the fucking thing for you.

Laura!

Come here, honey!

I gotta... just talk to you for a second.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm making a mushroom and scallion omelet.

- What are you doing? - No, I... need to use your phone.

It's an emergency.

Fucking outrageous! The mother lode.

- You get all the money? - Sweet as a young girl's ass.

You know, even if there's a S.W.A.T. team out there, I'm ready.

- Is there a S.W.A.T. team out there? - No.

- Shit! - Bobby Ray, you know...

I told you I never fuck ducks.

Why are you always telling me I fuck ducks?

I don't fuck ducks.

Fuck!

Your turn to drive!

Head for the four-oh-five.

Laura, I know you're in here!

You nasty lowlife, disgusting cold-hearted bitch!

What happened, Joe?

I was humiliated.

I was beaten. I was shot.

My ear is missing. Have you seen me lately?

All because you just had to pull off that little stunt, didn't you?

Well, now, I'm going to give you some of your own medicine.

Look, it was a test and you failed it...

because you couldn't keep your pants up. You ruined everything!

I ruined everything?

Give me a break!

I mean, come on! You got some nerve! You sicked a hooker on me!

No, she was not a hooker. She was a love decoy.

What the hell is a love decoy?

Do you understand that none of this would have happened...

unless you planned it? Do you see how sick that is?

I mean, what do you do at night?

How do you come up with these... cockamamie things?

Do you sit home and think to yourself...

"I wonder what would happen if I set my beautiful, young fiance up...

with this firm, young, ultra-gorgeous bitch?"

That, what did you... think would happen?

I had to know. I'm the jealous type.

And it's very hard for me to trust people.

So, you've gotta... set things up so that you make sure they fail?

Is that the idea? You couldn't stand if somebody was faithful to you?

- Would that just drive you nuts? - I'm sorry!

I... maybe it was the wrong thing to do.

Maybe I shouldn't have done it.

You know, but maybe I needed to know that you cared.

Care?

Laura, sweetheart, being with you...

is like being shot out of a circus cannon every day...

without a net into a pool of cactus.

It literally is like eating nails...

- honey. It is like... - Joe...

drinking... gasoline. That's what it's like.

You do care. You do care, Joe.

- Of course I do. - I know that I'm a handful...

and I know that you put up with a lot...

but I can't help myself. I'm sorry. I'm afraid things are gonna...

- get too normal. - Too normal?

Laura...

look at me.

They could never, ever going to get too normal.

Joe.

- Joe... - My ear!

- Joe. - I love you.

- I love you too, Joe. I'm sorry. - Baby.

Welcome to Thrifty Drugs. Thank you for shopping with us.

It's not as sticky.

Yeah, okay, but it tastes bad.

Man, I wish you were back on the pill, I hate buying these things.

Hey.

Man.

It's not as bad as it looks.

I got struck by lightning once...

all it did was singe my hair.

You got any Super Glue?

Yeah. Here. Okay.

And one of those...

What the hell are you going to do with the money?

- You really wanna know? - Yeah.

Like I told you...

I'm gonna open up a nudie club.

See, I've been thinking about it a long time.

And I know the location.

Lots of tourists, rich tourists with plenty of spending cash.

See, all you need is a bar, a stage, some poles...

crank out some good music and man...

you're rolling in plenty of green chili.

And I got an idea. What you need...

is good lighting.

You get a nice blonde girl, put her in some pink lights...

and man, that's all you need.

And pink is the best color.

You know, yellow's nice too.

When I open up my club, I'm gonna get a porn star.

You know, get some publicity and stuff like that.

And I'm gonna hire a guy to paint a mural outside.

On the outside wall. Real nice mural.

I mean, a nice blonde laying down.

Some big tits, a waterfall behind her.

I mean, classy. You know, people see that and think.

Oh, man.

What is all this shit?

Did you know this shit can blow up and burn down your house?

Hey, Natalie!

That was real cute setting me up with Leon!

- Where is he? - I don't know! He's not with you?

That's real... that's real funny!

Who's your boyfriend?

Hey, boyfriend!

I've got a real high tolerance for pain. I sure hope you do!

Bobby Ray!

Bobby Ray!

Jack's dick's got more brains than you do!

Natalie, come back here right now! Natalie!

You like Natalie a lot?

Let me tell you something about her. I think you deserve to know.

This whole money thing was her idea.

I mean, not the way it turned out, but it was her idea.

I had a feeling about it, but I wasn't sure.

Don't mean she don't like you.

Wait a minute.

- Hot enough for you? - Shit.

How do you like this border?

Legal... illegal.

Un... fucking... believable.

Car is yours.

I don't need the hassle.

That can get you in deep shit real quick.

When I open up my club...

I'll send you a postcard.

Maybe you'll come and visit.

Sure. I'm paying for it.

Hey, Leon.

Blonde ladies, pink lights.

- [Buenos dias!] - [Buenos dias!]

- [Spanish] - [Spanish]

You alright?

Are you hurt?

- Hi. - Fuck.

Have you seen Leon?

No.

I think you need to go to the hospital.

- Yeah. - Okay?

- Okay. - Can you stand?

- Yeah. - Okay, we'll get in the car then...

- okay? Come this way. - Okay.

Does that hurt?

No, it stings a little bit.

He's got a knife in his head.

- Okay. In you go. - Yeah, I know, I saw that. Alright.

Can you watch out, honey? Don't hit your head.

- Okay... - Oh my gosh! Oh dear.

Watch your fingers.

Look. Can I... take this for you?

- It won't... - Oh dear. Okay, well...

you hang on to that and we're gonna get you some help.

I wonder if we can...

Jesus Christ. Okay, I think we should go to Memorial...

that's probably the closest place.

No, take him to the clinic. It's much closer.

I don't think the clinic's equipped to handle something like this.

What do I hear you saying? I hear you saying...

that you don't like the clinic.

Honey, he doesn't need a homeopath or some guy waving a crystal...

over his head for a hundred and sixty bucks a pop.

I am so tired of your thinking this way.

Maybe that's exactly what he needs. It's what helped me.

- Those cramps would have gone on... - Folks.

You got anything up there to eat? I'm really...

- hungry. - Oh yeah.

Really, maybe there's like a...

- Take a look in the... - A mint?

- Yeah. - What are these?

- Some kind of a... - Yeah.

- It's emergency food. - cheesy, fried food?

It's not cheesy, fried food.

- It's got vitamins... Vitamin D. - You're eating that, aren't you?

- It's got beta-carotene in it... - Oh no.

- it's got salt. You need salt. - You've got it... Well, you...

Hey. Stop right over there and get some hot food!

I'm really...

really hungry.

Are you sure? Because you know, I don't really think we should stop.

You really need to go to a hospital now.

If you don't stop and get me some food right now...

I'm gonna die right here in your car.

Hey, come on, pull in.

- Pull in. - Alright.

- Hello! - Hi, can I take your order?

Yeah, and we're in a hurry, okay?

- Okay. - You know, numbers are...

a strange thing.

Did you ever notice how a number will follow you...

throughout your whole life like some kind of conspiracy?

Did you wanna order something?

I'll have a...

twenty-two cheeseburgers...

with everything on them.

Oh my.

- Quite a number. - Okay.

Twenty-two cheeseburgers with everything.

- Okay. - Twenty-two...

orders of fries.

- Add twenty-two French fries. - Okay.

Twenty-two...

onion rings.

- Twenty-two... - Twenty-two...

And twenty-two onion rings.

Is that a real knife? Can I touch that?

Yeah, sure. Just be careful not to cut yourself.

Terry! No, that's not a good idea, I don't think.

Hey! Have we missed the hospital?

I don't know. It doesn't look familiar, does it?

- No. - Did you see any more...

- of those blue signs? - I don't know.

- Maybe we should ask somebody. - Now, you two kids. Let's stop this.

Well...

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye, tiger!

- Bye! - Bye!

- Bye. - Yeah, bye.

- We miss you! - Feel better.

- Keep your chin up. - Bye!

Oh, gosh.

They'll take good care of you.

Do you think he'll be okay?

Well, the attendant who wheeled him in said as soon as...

they pull that thing out of his skull...

he's a dead man.

Then, Dad, why don't they just cut it out?

I don't know, honey.

You know, maybe they will. Maybe they'll just...

go get a Sawzall and cut that sucker off.

Roger, stop it. God! I'm gonna be sick.

- Terry's gonna be sick. - I am not going to be sick, Mom.

Shot him.

That's really unique.

Alright, here we go.

Thank you, Pat. Thank you.

Yeah...

Leon told me about this place.

He used to drink coffee here every morning.

Yeah.

What?

So, when are you gonna come clean?

Don't follow.

Natalie thinks you might be her father.

Are you?

Do you really want to know?

Of course I do.

I've got nobody, Mar.

Do you know what it feels like to be abandoned?

Every time I get close to somebody, I just push them away...

cause I'm so scared that...

they're gonna leave me sooner or later.

So, I've gotta sort it out.

I guess the answer is that I don't really know.

Yeah, but you could take a test.

Yeah, I could take a test. What's the point of that?

Your mother never told me one way or another.

Why don't you just leave it that way?

What about Natalie, Marvin?

Don't you ever think how she might feel?

Sure, I think about the way she feels all the time.

Alright.

I got this...

about four years ago.

Dear Mar, I'm still alive. Please don't be mad at me.

Take care of Natalie, if you can.

Don't tell her about me.

It's too late and much too complicated.

Kiss you. Love, C.C.

So...

you go to Ecuador...

to the Valley of the Reclining God...

and you ask her.

She owes you an answer.

And she owes me an answer.

Jack...

I decided I'm not going to build parking lots anymore.

I'm tired of tearing buildings down.

I've come to really hate the stink of asphalt, so...

I've decided to invest in your wacky scheme.

It can't be any worse than Leon's.

But just remember, you gotta have good lighting.