All language subtitles for Fat Chance (1994)

Welcome to the diet zone.

Losing weight is really different than
being fat.

He thought it was simple, but it's not.

I have to lose 200 pounds plus sort of
thing.

It's like losing another, I am losing
another individual.

So it's a long chore.

Somebody who loses 20 pounds feels that
they have made a great accomplishment. I

lose 20 pounds when I say, only 180
left.

Gosh, I'll be there in no time.

Okay, I have something to say.

I've been guilty of this offense for
years.

I just want to say that from now on,
wait, wait, don't

go. I am not going to eat beef anymore.

Wait, I promise.

Just listen to me. It's the promise.

Hey!

I'm a fat man, and I hate myself for it.

I'm 40 years old, and I weigh 400
pounds.

And I can't really remember the last
time I was happy.

I want to change, and dieting is the
only way I know how.

What's going on, Rick? I'd like to have
a look inside your eye.

Inside my eye? Yeah, inside your eye.
Just take a clap for me.

Okay.

How high is it?

160 on 112.

Wow. Yeah, just look straight ahead.

That's a... pretty high degree of blood
pressure there and has to be watched

closely. I recommend also that, you
know, a cardiogram be done, at least on

record, make sure that everything's okay
there in that regard, because that's a

pretty big stress on your heart.

Okay, just relax, Rick.

Just turn this way slightly.

Bring your arm behind your back for me
so I can get your scapula to stick out a

bit here.

Great.

Arm relaxed.

I can't relax my arm.

You're pinching the fat in my back.

I know. I tell people to relax and then
I pinch them.

Best you can. This is not a good way to
gain trust.

I hope you don't mind me hugging you.

We're getting so close.

I said I had to get to know you over
this test.

You never know, I'll get to like this.

Can we do the thing with the tape again?

I know how my weight looks to other
people.

It's a turn -off.

I just can't connect.

I've been on some form of diet since I
was 12.

There have been thousands of different
pills and powders since then, and even a

few liquid diets.

I started out, I think, with
amphetamines when I was really young

doctor at that time, I guess the
thinking was a speedy metabolism would

trick.

You want to put me in the hospital?

You want to operate on me? Whatever
anyone can do to get this weight off.

You know, I say, just do it.

Give me the ticket that says, hey, you
can now go anywhere you want to go and

whatever you want and there would be no
stigma attached.

If I could say, you know, meet God and
say, I'll give you three years of my

life. Just make me thin.

I do it.

I wouldn't be lying if I said I was
lonely for a good part of my life.

I can't hide being fat, and there are
days when I stay in my apartment.

I don't want to talk to anybody.

I don't want to see anybody.

It's like my life is on hold until I
lose this weight.

But it hasn't always been this way.

As a kid, I grew up in a very loving
family.

I grew up in an ethnic neighborhood
where food was a part of our identity.

I remember my dad coming home from the
railroad yards with my uncle, and they

would stop at the bakery and pick up
fresh pumpernickel and rye bread and

hot kubusak.

My mom would have prepared holupchi and
puttahead and fried sauerkraut. Our

house was just filled with the smells of
good food.

For my brother Len and I, those were
some of the best memories of our

You were, what, nine years older than
me, right?

And I don't recall... Were you a fat
kid? I don't remember if you were fat.

Yeah, no, I was fat.

Yeah?

When did you... When I discovered girls,
that's when I lost weight.

Were you being teased and harassed as a
kid?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would get bugged about
your weight. Yeah.

Well, we take all our frustrations out
on food.

When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I
eat.

Y 'all, you get something to eat? Yeah,
what do you want, mate?

It's Leonard. He enculturated us to hold
dead fish.

What do you do? What's the key to family
lifeline? Bring fish home and hold the

fish in the living room.

Oh, God, there's four fish sitting
there.

Here's Rick.

Cool dude.

Look at that.

Cigarette, fish, jig.

Like a real man, right?

My being fat was really a reflection of
my parents' love for me.

When I went to school, I got a real
different message.

Suddenly, I was being called names like
Fatso and Fat Pig.

I learned then that being fat was
connected with everything negative, and

meant that you were stupid and you were
lazy and didn't have any self -control,

and it just resulted in a lot of
teasing.

So I guess to cope, I played the clown,
and that way I seemed to somehow be able

to control the laughter.

There was a very weird woman that lived
next to us when I was a young kid.

I can't remember. The guy belonged to
the hall, but his wife was very strange.

remember once, shall we just say... Come
on, three cookies.

Oh, yeah, I don't remember the name. I
went in her house once, and she started

this thing.

Do you know about death?

I was young, I remember.

She gave me, I'll tell you about it.
There's a string inside your body, and

stretches every day, and then it goes...

And I remember, like, oh, you know, I
didn't want to move. You know, because

you're a kid, you know.

Yeah, but you found the truth, right?

Yeah, well, there's a rope inside me.

I wonder if I'm eating. I'm probably
scared to death.

My string's going to snap.

I got married very young, and in my
attempt to lose weight, I lost my

But it did give me the gift of my
daughter, Carrie.

She's the one steady relationship in my
life.

All right, don't put your ass out too
much. You look like Elvis.

I mean,

we're all sexual people.

I don't feel that I'm not sexual.

I think I have maybe

put those feelings or desires

in a back room because I often

feel it's a futile effort on my part.

I know I would enjoy being involved in
a...

intimate relationship with a woman.

Whether that's going to happen or not, I
don't know.

I think my chances of that happening
when I'm more physically appealing will

certainly heighten, but I don't think
it's a possibility at this time.

We've got you up into your training zone
now, according to the exercise

intensity guide.

How's it feel, okay?

Okay,

we're going to be bringing your heart
rate up to around 153 beats per minute.

don't want to take it higher than that.

You should be able to feel when you're
working hard enough. And when you're in

sweat, And your respiration's getting a
little faster.

And your legs are feeling it. You know
you're working hard enough.

Legs going to be able to hold out. Rick,
you're doing great.

Three minutes to go.

Some of the most important people in my
life right now, I'd have to say, are the

abused kids that I work with.

And music has helped me to make a
connection with it.

There's a magic about music that seems
to work for kids.

Kids like Eric.

I was speaking to your mom the other
day.

My real? Yeah, your real mom.

And I guess there's a couple of things I
have to tell you.

Would you be...

Upset if your dad moved away from you,
ma 'am?

Yes, really upset.

Why?

Because he'll keep on playing that game
over and over again.

Which game is that?

Coming back and leaving, coming back and
leaving, coming back and leaving.

That's a pretty hurtful thing, eh? You
know, your dad, I think, has moved out

again and has gone, I think he's gone
back to Hamilton.

Okay?

So, I think you were a little worried
about when he was staying at your mom's

place, were you? What were you worried
about?

My dad beating up my mother again.

Okay, well, you know, I phoned your mom
and I let her know that if anything ever

happened, or if she even thought
anything was going to happen, that she

call me, okay?

What I'm doing is I'm trying to do an
audio tape.

for Eric to begin to alleviate some of
his fears.

So to sort of have him psychologically
riveted to this tape

and to use terms and phrases and, you
know, stay within what is his sort of

familiar network.

Okay, what matches the word cool?

Awesome. Awesome.

And what is awesome? What kinds of
things would be awesome?

Heavy metal. Heavy metal is what?
Awesome?

Yeah? Do you know, like, who's your
heavy metal group?

Let me guess.

I like Poison.

Poison? Mm -hmm. What kind of stuff do
they sing?

Number One Bad Boy and Look What The Cat
Dragged In. That's a song I have.

Yeah? Tape.

And it's really awesome.

Yeah? Is it, like, really awesome?

Mm -hmm.

Like, not just really awesome.

Totally awesome.

Oh, wow. Well, that's powerful.

The other thing is that I'm going to be
doing a song for you.

Do you want it to be heavy?

Really heavy.

Like heavy metal?

Totally heavy.

Totally heavy? No. Like loud guitars?

Mm -hmm.

Electric guitar all the time. Mm -hmm.
And drums.

So you want electric guitar.

I better mark that down.

Okay.

Okay, Eric.

Want electric guitar?

Okay. You want drums?

Drums. Okay.

How about some bass guitar?

Bass guitar?

I was walking down the street the other
day and I saw Sally.

You know, she run a truck up on a rock.

I said, Sally, honey, what are you doing
up there?

She said, I just gonna sit down here.

I must be Sally.

Yeah.

Mama, you got this.

Because you keep on running around.

You know this man's going to play the
guitar.

Go, Chuck.

Okay, let's go.

Lift it.

These tables are not made for guys like
me to do stuff on.

I never knew how you're supposed to
breathe.

I think I'm doing it backwards.

Hold on to push.

Oh, your face is so ugly, I don't want
to just...

This is cruel and unusual punishment.

Yeah, it's no picnic for me. My arms are
burning.

That's what's supposed to happen, right?

I could do this by the stove and get the
same effect.

well balanced yes right i think you're
very well balanced okay we've got your

weight 300 so i'm 370 pounds just

another 220 pounds and i'll be prime

weight

It's taken me six months and I've lost
30 pounds.

And that's a lot when I think about it,
but I'd kind of hoped I'd feel

different, that I'd feel better about
myself.

And I don't.

People ask me, you know, how am I doing?

And it just seems that all they're
concerned about is my weight.

How's the diet going? And, hey, how many
pounds have you lost?

Nobody seems to want to know how I'm
feeling.

Well, I'm losing weight, all right, but
I'm not happy.

What types of things do you attribute to
their success?

Determination. Right now, the biggest
albatross around your neck is your

The best way to make yourself feel
better about yourself is to achieve some

positive endpoints. That is to lose
weight, so that your blood pressure

improves, so that you'll look better, so
that you can come off, if you have

blood sugar abnormalities, so that you
get better, so you feel better about

yourself, so you've got mastery.

Say, I can control this. I really can.

The people who succeed are determined.

They're fed up. They're not going to
take it anymore.

They are willing to change their lives
around entirely.

I'm on a dime. Do a 180.

And those are the people who are
successful.

I have tried to muster an energy about
it, and this time I'm going to do it.

And I've given myself all the reasons
for it, and yet I have fallen short. So

you're saying that I wasn't ready?

No, what I'm saying is, or my advice to
you would be, is try not to muster the

energy. My advice would be, just do it.

Don't think about it. Just do it.

I can't do this anymore.

And I'm tired of believing that I can.

I try, and I'm told that I don't try
hard enough, or I'm trying too hard.

And in the end, I'm hating myself even
more.

I feel like I'm trapped in my own body,
and there's no way out for me.

There's nowhere to go.

Publicly, I'm okay, but I just seem to
have these very dark times that are very

depressing.

I feel like I'm on parole all the time,
or that I've done something wrong, and I

really haven't, you know.

It's affecting me, you know, that's all
I can say. I try and do these things,

and I go to sleep at night, or I stay at
home at night, and I review.

certain things and i just i just don't
feel i'm not a very happy person at this

point the funny thing is it really
doesn't hurt anybody you know my being

overweight has no effect on you
whatsoever you know like you don't catch

disease nobody gets hurt you know i
don't do any damage to anybody you know

everybody feels so free to want to

contribute to this sickness or
something.

Almost as if a piece of society's
scenery isn't looking right.

So they want to... That's not a bad
term, yeah.

They want to shape you up so that you
fit into the image.

You want to be what these folks want you
to be, or

you want to be an image...

that you want you to be. Now, even as I
ask you that in this session here, I'm

not sure that you give me a clear image
of who it is that you want to be. In

fact, I am sure that I haven't heard
from you.

How you want to look, how you want to
be, what would make you feel ideally

comfortable with you?

I don't know.

You know, I don't know who I am.

I really think that that's a part of me
that's really... I've

never really seen myself.

I want a cup.

What kind of cup?

Give me a cappuccino.

You want chocolate?

Yeah, but the diet chocolate.

Diet chocolate?

Oh, the bean sticker's on.

Right, thank you.

It's on my hand.

It's now.

It's a better check.

Credit's bad.

You're on the blacklist now.

Look at this.

Old size, 38.

Neutralized, 33. They're saying that 38
size waist is like gross or it needs to

be changed and you should get into this
33. I would do cartwheels if I had a 38

inch waist.

It's like now I'm looking at what the
media is saying in many ways and it's

what I want to become.

I've always been good at helping other
people get their lives together.

But now I realize, and maybe for the
first time, that I've got to do this for

myself.

Because each chorus is going to be a
little bit different.

Basically just telling them the same
message in a number of different ways

it's up to you. Oh, yeah, it's up to
you. Right.

You can choose to live in fear and
darkness, but is there really something

want to do?

Now it's up to you.

Now it's up to you and what you want to
do is really left to how you want to

say. Okay.

You want to take it from the top of that
second verse then?

Okay, I'll take it from the top of the
chorus. Yeah, okay.

Here we go.

And the people in the north, they are
the one.

Now you're fast and you are lean. You
can run like a machine just like you are

powered by the sun.

But it's up to you.

Yes, it's up to you.

You're nobody's fool and I know that you
can really feel the truth.

It's up to you.

Take your power, Eric.

Take it now.

Now the very first time that I met you,
Eric, it became very clear to me.

You are the boy and you have the power.
The time had come to set your mind free.

Free from the fears that you believed in
for years. The fears that kept you in

the shadows of the dark.

Now, Eric, hear what I say, because
there's a choice to be made, which is

to set you and fear so far apart.

And it's up to you.

Yes, it's up to you.

You're going to come to feel the
darkness. Is that something that you

want to do?

Well, you see, a man belongs to you, and
what you choose to make or do is really

left to how and what you want to think.

Could I speak to Dr.

Mo Lerner, please?

Yes.

Dr. Lerner.

Hi, my name is Rick Zakowicz.

This is sort of a strange request, but I
saw you when I was in Seven Oaks

Hospital a little while ago.

How do I start saying this? I'm starting
a support group or a group for men that

are, I don't know, obese, fat, whatever
term you're okay with. I'm trying to get

a group together with people who have
similar kinds of concerns, and it seems

that you're in my league or I'm in your
league, and I was wondering if you'd be

interested in something like that.

How you doing?

I'm Dr. Lerner.

Hi.

Did you hurt yourself?

Yeah, I did.

Okay, come on, we'll fix up your finger
for you.

Did this happen at work?

Yes, it did.

Okay.

So you've never had stitches before?

No. Okay, it's not a big deal. It really
isn't.

Just a little bit of stinging at first.

So you like the kind of work you do?

Oh, it's not bad.

What would you rather be doing?

I see the finger.

I'm just going to put a little bit of
freezing here and here on either side of

your finger, okay? Okay.

I'll just pinch a little bit first.

What would you rather be doing?

I don't know.

Not sure?

Not sure.

Okay, here comes that little bit of a
poke.

There, it feels like a little balloon
there on that side. You did good. I'm

going to do the other side now.

Turn your hand over this way a bit.

That's good.

You did good. You thought you were going
to scream, didn't you? I thought so,

yeah. Well, it's not as bad as that.

The people I work with every day, some
of them have despised me from the day

they met me just because of my size,
based on nothing else.

And I still feel that.

There's no person like me alive that
wouldn't want to live a wonderful

life with...

Neat relationships and children and
laughing and being physically active. I

used to, until 100 pounds ago, I loved
volleyball and swimming. I even played

tennis.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of the day that I won't be
able to walk anymore.

I do this to fill up some way to take
care of me.

Because I've seen it in other obese
people.

And that's why I put up with this
nonsense.

People who were nasty and cruel.

And that's why I feel so deeply for
people in similar situations.

They don't have the opportunities I've
had.

And they envy me. And they think it's so
wonderful you're on the radio and

you're a doctor.

Look at the accomplishment.

It's no accomplishment.

It's not living.

You know, we can tolerate a lot, okay? I
think what happens is we have a hard

time with rejection.

And I mean, you tolerate to a certain
degree, but that's really the key.

We're rejected.

We're not, you know, this group that, I
mean, right now, this group is you and

me. Me and you, though.

And that's it. And hopefully we can
reach the other people that are out

not because I have this great, you know.

cape that I want to wear and be
somebody's savior, but I think there is

within us.

And if we can reach out and bring some
of us there that have been isolated, you

know, then there's an enormous amount of
power.

There's definitely strength in that and
there's so much more to share, but

beyond that, even, there is this need we
needed and this, you know, we love to

be loved, but we hate to be hated.

The sensitivity, you just mentioned
that, and it's so important that we

this. When you're a kid, you're
humiliated, you're the fat guy, you're

though, you're picked last on the team,
you're put in goal so that your girth

can stop the shot.

And that is the breeding ground. And you
work with children.

The breeding ground is your sensitivity
gets higher, gets heightened. You're

more sensitive to these insults, not
less sensitive, you're not desensitized,

but you're self -esteem.

It goes down even further.

It gets worse and worse as years go by.
And people think fat people are used to

this. They're being the jolly fat. No,
you don't mind making fun.

I can't take it anymore.

That's what's happening with me. I see.
So it's not that I'm going to be

psychotic and kill somebody, but I found
myself becoming a more and more

isolated person.

And I don't want to do that. I want to
go out. I want to connect. And I don't

want to get those jabs and those stabs.

Let me ask you a question.

You and I are sitting talking here now.
Do you not feel somewhat of a relief

just the fact that we're sharing these
things? Oh, of course. Don't you feel

like I have for years that you feel
better by virtue of the fact that you're

alone?

There is this conference.

It's in Virginia. I'm going to be
participating there.

It might be something that you might be
interested in. I think that you'd meet a

lot of interesting people in a different
angle.

First, I have to say that as a fat
woman, I find it really terrifying to be

room of therapists because some of my
worst memories of my childhood and my

adolescence were you people, therapists
and dieticians. So I've been very

emotional today.

And part of the emotion is, where the
hell were you 20 and 30 years ago when I

was begging people to listen to me about
this?

And I'm real glad you're here now.

Around the family issues on a personal
level, the way that I find out in my

family was rage.

I find rage very effective.

And I encourage a lot of people to
express it.

The worst that can happen is your family
doesn't talk to you again, and you

don't like them anyway, probably.

That will solve the problem for a while.

And then you can come back later and
deal with it. I told my family, this is

deal. I'm coming to Thanksgiving dinner.

The first person who said anything about
my size looks at me funny. I'm slamming

the chair on the table, and I'm leaving.
And I'm never coming back.

And that's the last I ever heard any
disparaging remarks.

Because I came with a real angry look,
and I really meant it.

And it was the most freeing experience I
ever had.

And I think that we don't encourage
enough rage in fat people.

I mean, when we look at the success and
failure rates of dieting, there

shouldn't be an unbroken window left in
any diet clinic.

In 69, it was just considered a complete
oddity. I mean,

people who would defend the rights of,
let's say, blacks.

or women, or the elderly, or the
disabled, would say, yeah, but hey, fat

exception. You can do something about
that.

All you need is a little willpower.

You're out of control.

All these kinds of stereotypes that we
know today really don't apply to most

people.

I say we know.

I mean, the people who study it know,
unfortunately.

The public still believes the stereotype
that fat people are out of control and

they're weak -willed and poorly
disciplined.

And if we didn't want to be fat, we
should do something about it, is that

Well, sure.

The point is, if you could do something
about it, most fat people would have

done something about it successfully
long ago. The truth is that, you know,

people in this country have been dieting
for... In fact, in North America, have

been dieting for...

decades, and, you know, they're larger
than ever. The average weights are going

up.

A young woman who was the younger sister
of a friend, and this young woman was a

senior in high school, and was very
lovely, and looked much like Linda

Wonder Woman, but very, very large.

And so I sat down here and said, well,
you know, I'm ignorant.

I don't know what your experience is
like, so help me understand. I want to

know.

What's like being fat? I have no idea
what that even means and she said, you

know sure and I said to her what is What
is your worst experience? What is the

thing that bothers you the most about
being fat?

And she immediately replied which is not
the title of a book When people tell me

I have a pretty face Mm -hmm, but she
didn't stop there that would have caught

my attention because I immediately
realized my god I could have said that

because she actually did have a
beautiful face But the part that chilled

he continued and said, and when they say
that, I want to mutilate my face. And

there was such pain and honesty and
seriousness, it actually blew me away.

realized, my God, I am pretty ignorant
here. And I need to learn about this.

the more I learn, the more pain stories
like Danny's and hundreds of stories

from people who have been embarrassed
and shamed, it gets you just really

I'm still real uncomfortable being
around.

Groups of people. I'm always wondering
what they're thinking.

I'm always thinking they're looking at
me.

They are?

Yeah, I know.

So I'm not crazy after all.

Well, we're different.

We look different.

You started to do something about your
situation when you were, what, about 565

pounds? And then what was the turning
point for you?

I'm not really sure.

I guess I got to thinking because I knew
I was going to die.

I just got to thinking there's too much
that I want to live for. There's too

much I ain't done yet.

That's helped me a lot.

I mean, I'm more comfortable now than I
was, but I still am very uncomfortable,

and I hate myself for that.

My last question, I think, would be, a
society always has some sort of a beauty

ideal. There is, you know, always,
always, has always been. Now,

our beauty ideal has been thin for a
long, long time already.

What has to happen that that will
change?

Fashion now happens to be a thin body.
It's as unrealistic as wanting the wasp

shape of my grandmother's day or the
tiny feet of the Chinese woman.

It's biologically unrealistic.

Similarly with sexism, just as in
racism, women finally began to say, hey,

a minute, we don't have to put up with
this nonsense any longer, these double

standards, and we're going to try to get
into the power structure that is now

male dominated.

You've seen this kind of movement
starting that women are saying, wait a

I mean, why do I have to starve myself
all the time?

I'm not going to accept that anymore. I
see this as the last ism.

We've seen the evils of racism, we've
seen the evils of sexism, and now we're

seeing the evils of looksism, and we're
saying it's an evil. You don't

mistreat a person, discriminate against
a person, make a person's life

miserable because of his or her looks.

I finally just said, listen, I've got to
live in the body that I've got.

Maybe I'll lose weight, but most likely
I'll never be 110 pounds.

And something major changed in me when I
came to that conclusion.

It was really, I won't put off living
anymore.

You know, I know recently I saw again
one of these Nutrisystem commercials, I

think, and the woman is saying, whining
about, oh, I haven't worn this bathing

suit in 20 years, you know, and I
haven't gone to the beach. And I'm

you poor sucker, look what you've missed
all these years. You've denied yourself

this pleasure.

Well, conditioned, right? How we've been
conditioned.

I think the more that there is a fat
subculture created. Yeah.

that we have our own identity, the more
we can't be oppressed.

I mean, that there's an identity there.

And from that, that goes into mainstream
culture, that you can't mess with me

anymore. You can't mess with me.

From what I gather, your work is working
with photos, working with image,

working with color, working with video,
which is an area that...

It just sort of arouses me. Have you
shot any fat males? Not to date. Not to

date. You know, again, this was an issue
of who do I know the best.

So I was photographing just women.

And people would ask me questions. Well,
who are these women and why are they

like they are?

And these are beautiful pictures. And,
gee, I never thought about fat women

way. And, wow, these are really artistic
and these women are sexy. And I never

thought about that either. And, you
know, it's like all of a sudden people's

minds were kind of revolving in new
directions.

My feeling has been that, you know, if I
change the mind of one person that

I've...

won the battle, and I've changed more
than one mind.

I'm just saying, here they are, they
accept themselves, we move on from here.

Maybe we can do some work together.

Maybe we can do some work together. That
would be interesting.

It's real important to surround yourself
with sad people also.

I believe that. I mean, when I 20 years
ago. I found one bad guy.

Stick with him.

Leave your wife. Come with me. Well, you
know, you find little enclaves here and

there. And you take it and you just
breathe in deeply.

And then you hold your air and you can
go out into the disgusting thin world,

you know.

It's important to even be around people.

And you get all dressed up who can say
you really look nice. And you don't hear

in the back of your mind for an
incredibly fat woman.

You know, it's just you look nice.

That's really important.

I think for men it's a very
underdeveloped area, and you're probably

a pioneer.

And that's real hard. Believe me, I
know.

It's real hard, and you have to be real
strong.

What can I expect?

Nothing? Oh, no. You can expect it to
first have some outpouring and then have

it level off and then get real slow, and
then you have to keep going out,

dragging out the net and trying to pull
people in.

And you will learn to find ways to
emotionally support yourself that you

thought you'd find.

You'll learn to take hope out of the
smallest little thing.

And you'll become very strong.

You'll be amazed. You know, it's funny.
I was thinking about my life the other

day, and I think, oh, I could have been
a doctor. I could have been all these

things if it wasn't for fat oppression.

But I wouldn't have been a compassionate
person.

I would have, to be someone to whom
things come easy, you know,

I think I would have missed a lot.

I think that we're so much better than
most of the world.

And it's so hard for me when I see
people who don't know that.

who don't know how incredibly special we
are, and how that strength has

bonded us together and has really made
us

transcendent.

And it's a wonderful experience to do
it, and I encourage you and I support

And it will be very lonely, very lonely.

When I was 25, I'd been in the house for
weeks.

I never could go out.

I remember one day I got all dressed up
to go out, and I was going to a concert,

and I felt good for the first time in
months. I actually thought I looked

And I walked a few steps out of my
apartment, and kids came by on bikes and

screamed, Hey, fat lady! Hey, fat ass!

And I turned around and went inside
again.

And I decided that day, or shortly
thereafter, that no one was ever going

have that kind of power over me again.

That I deserved to have a good life. And
God damn it, I was going to do whatever

it took.

I was going to make whatever kind of
world I needed to make in myself or

to do that. And I did that. I took down
all the artwork in my apartment that was

of thin people.

a lot of Erte things and Art Nouveau
things. They all went.

Only representations of fat people went
up there.

I thought a lot about the politics of
Luxism, and I read some things on it,

I came to a real clear understanding of
it.

And I over and over and over again told
myself that this is artificial.

You know, most of it didn't come down
off the mount and say, fat people, spit

them, you know.

that people choose to do this, and why
in the world, what sickness would it be

in me to choose to subscribe to an
aesthetic that showed me as not

attractive? I have a choice.

I don't need to subscribe to that
aesthetic.

I can train my aesthetic just as I was
trained as a child as to what's

attractive and what's not. I could
retrain myself.

And I did that. And now I only sleep
with fat lovers.

between two bad decisions?

It's a rough one, whatever it is.

Along with paradigm.

Paradigm, isn't that a positive?

No, that's paradigm.

That's a beautiful thing.

They weren't kidding when they said...

Virginia country is just beautiful.

The only thing I don't like really is
the chairs just don't seem to fit, but

mountains are beautiful.

The people are great. The hospitality is
great.

That's beautiful.

Do you feel that you've gone either one
way or the other in this struggle?

You mean like in terms of dieting?

Dieting versus acceptance or somewhere
in the middle?

I think that, you know, I could see
myself being a happy, healthy,

fat person now, you know, where I wasn't
really prepared to entertain it. I was

prepared to say it, but it wasn't in
here, you know, or here.

You're the doctor. I haven't felt my
heart for such a long time.

This was an amazing experience.

And, you know, with all these people,
it's an amazing experience.

It was an amazing experience for you. It
was, you know, I don't know what it

was. Well, I do know what it was, you
know. I feel now I know what it was.

Somebody listened, you know.

And we'll meet two Winnipeg men who will
tell us what it's like to go through

life fat and what they're doing about
it. All that and more coming up next on

McGinnis.

CJOB News reports to Winnipeg on the
hour, every hour.

With me in the studio this afternoon, I
have two men who are starting a support

group for obese men. They are Rick
Zakowicz and Dr. Mo Lerner. You can talk

them on CJOB 780 -6868. The lines are
open for your call.

Rick, you did the amphetamine, 13, 14
years old, courtesy of your doctor.

Yes. I mean, that must have lasting side
effects.

Oh, yeah. You seem pretty hyper today.
You're not on them anymore, are you? No,

not at all.

Yeah, it had lasting side effects
because I was a depressed child, or I

depressed, suppressed. I mean, what I
was subjected to during my school years

was a lot of humiliation.

I was often, you know, during gym,
when...

Teams were picked. You would be shirts
or skins, and inevitably I would always

be put on the skins team, and I had to
take my shirt off, and of course there

was a lot of public laughter.

Kids can be cruel. Kids can be cruel,
but it wasn't just the kids. It was also

the gym teacher.

At one time I refused to take my shirt
off because I just didn't want to be

humiliated. I was strapped for that. I
was taken in and strapped and said, if

you don't like the way you are, you'd
better do something about it and stop

stuffing your face. I was told by
another teacher.

a fat comment that I wouldn't make good
soap.

What do you think of these people, and
I'm going to leave out names and we all

know who they are, but what do you think
of these people who, courtesy of your

desire and everybody's desire to be
thin, now live in 10 ,000 square foot

in Beverly Hills and have Rolls Royces
in their driveways. I mean, they're

making millions off of this stuff.
Exactly, because there is this cycle

exists out there. If you put the hope
out, you know, it's like people who are

terminally ill and suddenly there's some
miracle cure in Mexico or something

like that, and they'll fly down and
they'll do that because we're grasping.

We've been conditioned to think that
there is an answer to this. Is it

exploitation? Oh, to the worst degree,
to the worst degree.

You know, it's just endless.

The next question, then, is what are the
causes, then? I mean, if people are not

lazy, if they're not overeating, what
are some of the causes of obesity that

people tend to overlook?

I think there's no question that eating
a lot is a cause of obesity. What we

eat, we are.

There are other causes, too, though, and
one of those is the metabolism factor,

people especially who are obese as
youngsters.

their bodies learn to set a thermostat
at a certain level and they always try

maintain that level so the people who
diet extensively just end up with their

bodies wanting to come back to that set
level and it's sometimes an unbelievable

struggle to avoid that nature has
provided us with this, by the way, to

survive, or I suppose to have helped us
survive centuries or millions of years

ago when we were foraging for food.

Final thoughts, gentlemen, before I let
you go?

Yeah, 95 % of diets don't work. So for
those people who are out there

dieting, looking for the next biscuit or
powder or this or that.

That's not me talking, that's statistics
talking.

The NFDA, the National Food and Drug
Administration, put a request out for

papers from all of these diet industries
asking for substantiating evidence

that... proves that their programs or
their products will keep weight off

a period of two, three, and five years,
and none of the research that was

submitted was able to stand up. So what
I'm saying is you can be overweight, and

you can be healthy, and you can have
your mind clear, and life is a precious

thing, and don't fall into the trap that
has been set for us.

So finally, like, you know, it's about a
five -layer cake, and I'm through two

layers. And by the third layer, okay,
she's already another smoke coming out

her ears, you know. She comes to the
waitress and goes, he threw at the cake.

Take away the cake, you know. Did she
say that? Yeah.

I've had that a bunch of times, haven't
I? Have you ever had that happen to you?

I had in Safeway one time. Nobody
laughed about it, though. I mean, I'm in

Safeway. I'm in Safeway. I'm looking at
the pastries, and I'm saying.

God, I'd love to eat that, but, you
know, like I really shouldn't.

And I'm like, yeah, I will. I put it in.
I had a lady come up to me in the

checker. You don't need that. Get that
back. Oh, you're kidding. Yeah, she

literally took the food out of my, you
know. I think people accuse me often of

having a mad look on my face.

Maybe I have a smile right now, but I
don't know. But I'm often accused of

and I think people don't really cross me
because of that. They don't. You know,

I'm talking adults.

But I find the most hurtful are younger
people.

You know, I like wearing shorts in the
summertime. I'll wear shorts right up

until October if I can. I don't care
how, you know, it gets pretty cool. But

love wearing shorts in the summertime.
And I'll walk by kids, and if I hear

giggling, I automatically think it's
about me.

And that's what I find hurtful.

I was at this conference in Boston. I
went to Boston.

A bunch of 300 large, fat people.

We went into a swimming pool together, I
swear. You know how you guys can share

this with me. You know when you're going
into a swimming pool, you have to send

your scout first.

Make sure there's no one there, no kids
and stuff.

Went into this swimming pool, hundreds
of fat people all over the place having

good time, and then there's this one
thin lifeguard shaking, trembling,

in terror.

Please don't follow me. No, I'm going to
swim. Please. It was nice to be around

people.

who were warm and receptive and loving.

I had a father who called, and it was a
very, again, very emotional call.

And he said, you know, this has plagued
our family. He said, my wife has gone

through operations to try to have fat
removed.

He said, I have dieted endlessly for all
my life. And he says, now I see this.

this embodied in my daughter, who now is
struggling with her weight, and all of

her kids and peers are beginning to
develop figures, and

she's still sort of very plump. And he
says, I feel her pain. He says, you have

to do something for children.

He says, there's no support groups out
there for kids. He says, and that's

it starts, right there. He says, I can
see her withdrawing. I can see her

pulling out of life.

I never had any fat role models when I
was a kid.

See, fat people just aren't respected,
in spite of their achievements.

The focus didn't seem to be on his
victory or his accomplishment. The focus

seemed to be on his size.

It was a big victory.

There's a little play on words there, I
guess. It was his... It was a big

victory, but...

Darren, the first paragraph, there was
six shots about this guy's weight. I

mean, that's the first paragraph, and
you haven't even mentioned anything

his victory. You've talked about his
size.

Triple extra -large win.

You know, a wind so big it blocked out
the sun, a birdie binge, cakewalk. I

mean, it went on and on and on and on.
And I take issue with somebody overdoing

it, you know, becoming a little
indulgent. You know, just the words

victory. And, you know, like, it's got
milk.

You're reading things into it, favoring.
I would have used that in any story.

I don't think so. I would have birdie
binge, cakewalk. Those are phrases.

That didn't even enter into the FAF
equation.

They're just things that I use in day
-to -day writing.

Well, he blew the course record away.
And that, to me, should have been the

headline. And the headline wasn't that.
The headline was extra -large, triple

extra -large win.

So to them, fat friendly means that they
have access to the facility,

that the chairs will fit, that the
washrooms are suitable.

So the term they use is fat friendly.
Well, it should be as readable as a

wheelchair access sign for instance,
right? That's why I think using the

international symbol is really important
because we're all aware of that. Yes.

So it's a good start.

Yeah.

But all five access, I think, has a more
universal appeal.

It says it better. And it says it
better, and it's fair.

We're not asking for anything
outrageous.

We just want to fit in chairs and be
serviced in the same way that everybody

else is serviced.

Where are you going to present this logo
to the conference?

What sort of situation?

It's NAFA, National Association to
Advance Fat Acceptance.

And it's in New York. I've never been to
New York.

Well,

you better not take your time.

The city moves fast, you'd be left
behind.

Craziest place I've seen.

And a bit around, baby, if you know what
I mean. We're in New York City.

We're in New York City, Shakespeare.

Well, you better not move too slow.
That's right. We're in New York City.

Wake up, don't sleep, get on your feet.

New York City, move to the beat. We're
in New York City.

Thank you.

There's something else that I've
learned, and that is that some things in

just aren't fair.

Life deals us some blows.

But, you know, the way I work on things
now is I ask myself, is whatever is

bothering me right now, is this going to
have a bearing on my life two years

from now? Am I going to look back on
this moment and be as sad or upset?

I hope not.

And if that's so, please do as I say,
not as I do.

In spite of your grief, in spite of
whatever's bugging you, get up.

Get out of here. Do something. Turn the
pages of a book.

Take the exercise class with everyone.
Go for a walk.

And you can smile.

You can do something positive for
yourself.

You know, if looking in a corner of a
window and I see this sign, that means I

can walk through that door and I can go
to the washroom. I can sit down.

I can fit into all of these kinds of
places.

I think this is important not only for
us, but it's important for our children

and our children's children that we
prepare a world for them that says, hey,

can come in here, you know.

This is where you belong.

It's a ticket. It's a freedom ticket,
you know.

And if you don't have your freedom, then
you don't have anything.

This is about giving people different
eyes, you know.

When they look at us in a weird way, we
should be able to go, popcorn.

Oh, yeah.

You're people. You have feelings.

I remember having a drink with Patricia
Schwartz in Virginia, and we toasted the

possibility of our working together.

Well, here we are in New York.

You didn't know you'd be a cover kind of
guy, did you?

I don't know what.

No, it's really, it's very loose.

Oh, right. Exactly what I wanted.

There's some distortion elements of the
tie is really dominant.

It's like, you know, like a carpet in
the front of the picture.

Yeah, it helps. It helps. Yeah.

Talk about know -how.

Oh, that's so strong.

I like it a lot.

I like

that.

Very friendly.

Nice, Rick.

That's great.

Boy, I tell you, Rick, you look just
like one of those, you know, those, you

look like a, you know, the potentate.

Totally fresh.

My God.

But this is what I had in mind, really.
I wanted to make the photos with a bevy

of beautiful Napa women, you know?

So I got my wish.

All right, that's perfect.

That's it.

Look at that.

Divine.

I think I've come from a form of
imprisonment.

And although I'm not really sure where
I'm going, I feel that the chains are

off, that now I'm walking with freedom.

And there are possibilities now that I
can reach for and strive for.

I don't feel held down anymore.

I don't feel incomplete.

I don't feel that I'm in a temporary
state.

I don't feel that I've got to do all of
this before I'm worthy of having this

and that.

Coming to accept who you are and realize
that a lot of other people were

wrong is something that you have to sort
of work really hard at doing. It

doesn't just come easy. Because you've
got doctors, you've got, you know,

got... The media, you've got, you know,
the press, all of those things are

giving you this message, you know.
You're not right. You're too fat.

You don't fit in. You don't belong.

You have to change.

And all of a sudden, some people come
along and change you and says, you're

the way you are.

You're okay with what you have, okay?

Here's how you get well. Here's how you
get better. But the way you are is fine,

okay? Walk through this world in that
way.

I was walking through the garden of Eden
and there were apples all over the

ground.

Eve was standing there in this discount
store getting ready to try on a new

gown.

Now Adam, he's sat in the corner looking
down a little long on the face.

Then a voice from Mr. Snake said, Adam,
take a break. We've got to learn from

our mistakes. And he said, this ain't no
Garden of Eden.

And this ain't no orchard in the sky.

And if you're going to break the rules,
then you'd better learn the blues and

play them to the day that you die.

was just a young boy yes my very first
grade in school they said you

stay inside the lines boy and never tell
a lie follow that golden rule

but I ended up in the corner for rarely
doing none of

the above they said you bow your head
and pray boy cause come your judgment

they won't let you into heaven above but
I knew

This ain't no garden of Eden.

This ain't no orchard in the sky.

Guess I like to break the rules and I
love to sing the blues and I will sing

them to the day that I die.

Yep.

This ain't no Garden of Eden, and this
ain't no orchard in the sky.

And if you're gonna break the rules,
well, you better learn the blues and

them to the day that you die.