Original subtitles

What's been going on, girls?

Nothing. I've been, like, wicked talking with my roommate, like, heart to heart.

Heart to heart? Heart to heart.

She's like this beautiful bitch over here.

When she was over in the pool, he came sneaking up. He's like, that girl.

I went here.

Like a little five -year -old.

Little puppy eyes.

That girl with her knees.

I was like, Rebecca? He's like...

I was like, you're quick. I was like, why didn't you just tell her? I want you

to tell her. He's like, because she wouldn't talk. He's five.

No, because she was fucking the mute. She comes from the house, she's like

Fine.

Looking around like fucking a lost dog, like.

Because I'm a sharp person. Oh, yeah, come on. I'm a side person.

So he was walking around in here, and she's just like, treating him like the

plague. Poor guy.

And he's like, she's so pretty.

She's got such nice boobs.

And I was like, oh, really?

I was like, my boobs aren't good enough anymore. It's like, well, they're on the

small side.

Fucker. Fucker.

Some bullshit.

You got to hook up.

She's like, no way.

Get on the wild side of this other lady.

No, guys are dangerous.

Isn't he awesome, though?

We've all gone, and he's awesome. He's super nice.

Yeah, I don't know.

We say the same about all guys, but guys are always... Yeah, but you need to

date him. He loves you. You can fuck him.

You can eat a bunch of lemon and leaf.

Uh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Wham, bam, thank you, ma 'am.

Thank you, ma 'am.

Exactly. Just like that.

Thank you, sir. I don't want it like that. I need to meet the guy.

You haven't met him.

You see it all the time.

Who does go on dates? You don't need to follow me. Yeah, who does go on dates?

It's too old. What?

No one does that anymore.

Do you really expect me to go to a club and then expect him to call you, like,

the next day?

And go on a date. And go eat dinner, watch a movie.

I mean, do you say that you're having sex with him?

Yeah. Yeah?

Like that?

Yeah. Let me tell you. Let me tell you a little story.

And that's it.

But why?

That's how it is, though. You just need the guy. It's fun.

We're in the 21st century. Are you trying to get married?

Are you trying to get married?

Do you want to have a little Rebecca come around?

You know.

No little Rebecca. What's the point of having a boyfriend? What's the point of

having a boyfriend unless you plan on getting married? Exactly. Right now. So

why are you giving the guy the first night what the guy wants?

Because I only want it one night.

I don't want to see him again. It's like this.

There's a hot guy.

You don't really know too much about him.

Do you want to deal with him and then be a stage five fucking clinger and then

walk him around for the rest of your life the next year and a half while you

date him?

Or do you want to fuck him, go home, eat a bowl of fucking Rice Krispies, and

then go to sleep?

Okay, but who we're doing about sex is the guy, so he knows what he wants.

No, you get what you want too.

And then he goes on his merry little way. You don't know.

How many times have you had sex?

Like once ever.

And then twice with her hand. God knows what she does in her free time. Girl,

I got a notebook.

We gotta get you caught up.

What? A notebook.

Full of people.

It's a fucking encyclopedia.

She's on a roll.

She's like, he's a dick, look up dick.

No, no, he's just a dick. Oh, I thought you said you were looking for dick.

What if it touches me?

You don't have to look at it. It's not your vagina.

You know,

I see one time, one like that, and it was big, you know?

I saw this one dick one time, and I was like,

whoa.

That's a dick.

No, big from you feel.

If it's just like a normal one, they're good.

What? It's normal.

If it's like normal, it's average, it's good. You don't mean like normal as in

hung. Hung is like a 10 inch dick.

Regular is like 6 inches.

What do you mean it hurts? What kind of sex have you been having?

Amazing. I was going to say, there's no description. Like, you cannot describe

an orgasm. Like, you just can't. Like, some girls can't get an orgasm.

Well, some girls get orgasms by penetration, and then some girls have

by, like, rubbing, like, by their clit. And sometimes you can only come, like,

five times if we have an orgasm and the guy's already finished.

Like, sometimes I have sex and I don't even have orgasms. I just come.

And that is a bad night.

Lesson number one, if you do not have an orgasm, do not ever, ever, ever call

him back.

Because it sucks.

But what do you feel? What is it sucking?

Why do you know?

Honey, it's because I know. You know. You know.

You will know. Like, you will know. You know, exactly. Plus, you'll tighten up

and you'll just be like, I know.

You just know. You just know. You start shaking, like, your body gets tight.

Why don't we fucking explain this? Let me get going.

Go get him. Go get him. Yeah.

Just go get him. Oh, no.

It's better to experience than to tell. Oh, my God. Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

We're not going to do it.

Don't act like we're going to protect you.

It's okay.

Relax. Oh,

here he comes.

Hey, what's going on, guys?

He's cute, right?

Hi.

Hey, how are you?

Yeah, give me that. Hi.

I told you it's so sexy.

Right. Just listen.

Just touch it.

No, no.

It's not funny.

I'm hilarious.

Just quit pulling away your hand.

No, no, no.

What is it going to hurt by touching it?

You're good for right now.

It's not a creature.

Just think of it.

I can't think of it. This is the world's little baby maker.

You don't have to be creeped out.

I'm cringing right now.

I'm cringing off like I'm trying to petrify you or something.

Touch it.

I touched it already.

You touched it like this.

Give it a roll to make her feel comfortable.

I'm scared.

because if I make Harlan, then he's going to get mad at me.

I'm not going to get mad. No. If you make Harlan, he's going to get mad. If

make Harlan, he's going to get mad. If you make Harlan, he's going to get mad.

That's what you make.

You don't want to make him happy?

Ready? This is the motto. Don't be rude to her roommate.

These are the mottos we go by.

Eat twice, smoke twice, smile a lot. And then you'll always be happy for life.

Alright?

You and my roommate have ill rules here.

Come on.

I have a question for you. How do you ever stop talking?

Are you kidding? It's the first time that I touch mom.

I told you. It was me. I fucking told you.

Okay, okay. Why are you laughing?

I'm laughing at you because you're queer.

Okay.

It's okay.

Are you serious? You're going to do that? No, no, no, no. Yeah.

Poor guy.

Are you doing this all the time for fun?

I wouldn't say no. Why?

What do you mean, do I do this all the time? It feels good.

I love it. We've all three done it. He does love it.

He loves it. It's like, he, like, lives for this shit.

He's like, oh.

The benefits of living with Aaron. You guys want to fuck me? You guys want to

fuck me? You guys want to fuck me? Let's do it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Look at it.

Just look at it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh,

my God. Oh, my God.

What does it feel? It's really tough, you know.

Touch it. Touch it.

Yeah, yeah. It's not so bad.

It's huge.

Okay.

It's not even ready to go yet. Just put it in your hand.

What? Grab it.

Take your hand. Okay, like that. There you go.

Hold it.

Just hold it. All right. Ready?

We're ready for what?

That's it. Like that.

So now what? This is like a cow? Like a cow?

Yeah, just milk this out.

Milk this out, bitch.

All right.

That's it, ready? And now what?

You just do that? You just keep doing that? Kiss it. A little bit. Kiss it.

What? Kiss it. Kiss it.

Look at her face.

Are you serious? No, no, no, no, no.

Come on. It's inviting.

Come on. No, no, no.

Okay, I'd rub it. I'd rub it.

Okay. Like that. Let's see it.

Okay. Ready?

Open your hand a little.

Huh?

What do you want?

Like that. Like that?

Yeah.

Now rub.

Do it. We're giving you a question.

It's like a task.

It's like you're going to... You know, show me how you do that. Maybe I will do

it because I don't really... No, okay. Okay.

This is like natural lubricant. That's what we do. We just lick it.

I mean, sometimes he's having fun, you know?

Come on. He's having a lot of fun. Just try it. Here, look.

Kiss it. Just give it a little kiss. Give it a little peck.

See,

it wasn't that bad.

Come on.

He's just inviting. Just touch it.

Play with me.

It won't hurt him, I promise.

Do you have hairs here? Or you're born like that?

I'm born like that?

No, look, you have some hairs.

You love it.

It's good. It's good.

Leave it alone.

Okay. Don't judge him.

Okay? This is not time for judging. It's time for teaching and pleasure. Okay.

Kiss it.

No, no. Yes, yes.

Grab it. I do already. I do already. Kiss it better. No, well, kiss it more.

More. More.

More. Sexily. I don't want to see you crying about it. Yeah, you look like a

fish.

Like that. Kiss it like that.

Go. Not like a fish.

I mean, he like when you do.

You do. He may like when you do more.

More.

Open up. Ready?

Just open.

Like popsicles.

Like an ice cream. Okay, pretend you're eating an ice cream.

I don't eat ice cream. You eat popsicles. Yeah, you do. Look.

Yeah, you do.

Can you lick some blow pops?

Go. Go.

I'm just smiling at it. Don't look at me, boy.

Billy has a name, man.

Okay, you do.

I have enough.

No, you haven't. I think I have an orgasm already.

I know we can bring the freak out on her.

Who's a freak? Super freak.

She likes you.

You like her. Yeah. Don't deny it.

You do it. Get in there. Go.

Good job.

Come on.

You see?

You like it.

She's like the first cock I've ever had touching. She's pretty good.

The very first cock. I know, right?

Go no hands.

No hands.

No hands.

No hands. What's the difference?

Like that.

Get lots of tongues on it when you have no hands, silly.

lying to me. No, look. I did, I did.

Everybody loves my roommate, motherfucker.

Tell you, this is the place to be. Friday night, we're going to do a

It's a potty in his pants.

Come on, don't think we forgot.

She likes it.

Thanks for being our dummy, by the way.

No problem.

Crash course headache is a thrill.

Orgasm. What are you doing?

Come on.

The stick isn't going to please itself.

No way.

Fuck.

That fast, you do?

Mm -hmm.

You can go deep, too.

You're supposed to be too fast or slow?

Whichever. Whichever.

Depends. You say you like the boyfriend deal, and you just want to be all

romantic.

No, go back. You just fucking suck that thing like a fucking animal. Just go

nuts on it.

I'm sorry. Can you go to bed? It's okay.

It's okay, girl.

That happens to everyone. Don't even feel weird about that. The more noise

like, the fluffier it sounds, the more they fucking love it. It's better.

Yeah. Show this girl how it's done. We heard.

Listen, listen.

Her eyes.

Look at her face. She's so cute. Oh, my God.

All the way in. Look at that thing. That thing's poking her in the uvula.

What the fuck is that?

That little bingley thing.

Are you crying?

Wow. It kind of like goes in the back of your throat so tears come up.

But no, I'm definitely not crying about sucking this penis. Let me tell you.

What are you going to tell me? I'm going to cry because of this. No, you're not

going to cry.

Perfect. How are you doing such a good job? You are doing very good. She's a

-time pro here. Crash course.

We're good teachers.

You want some cum in there? It's okay. It's salty sweet.

Just think like you're eating, like, cashews or something.

Why do you give that look?

What's wrong?

Put a smile on that look. Because it makes me cry like you.

You're not crying.

They're tears of joy.

So happy that you get to, well, suck your friend's roommate's penis. I mean,

it's nice, but...

I still don't know what is the orgasm.

Maybe I can have orgasm.

You're going to get an orgasm. You're going to have an orgasm. This is step

to getting this penis hard. Because you can't have an orgasm without getting

ready to work.

That is too big. No, that is not too big.

You're going to fuck him.

Or rather, he will fuck you.

Exactly. You can pick either or.

He's very much enjoying it. Are you kidding?

How close do I want to see you? All right. You know, I just think I have

of that. No, no, you haven't. You've never had an orgasm.

Oh, come on. I probably suck more than you, girl.

Bullshit. I suck his dick every day. Yeah, you're not as good as me. No, no,

Seriously, seriously.

Where are you going? Look, do you want to have an orgasm or not? For what?

Because if I have an orgasm, you're going to fuck this car. No, no, no, no,

Yes, it's a good job.

I'm leaving. I'm leaving. No, you're not going to leave.

You have to have an orgasm. You don't want to have it. Maybe another date.

No. No, you're going to get fucked today.

Look at his face. Maybe he don't want it. No, he definitely wants to.

He wants to help you have an orgasm.

Okay, you know, she's saying that I have enough for today.

No, you haven't had enough. You have not had enough. You are getting naked right

now. No, you're getting naked right now.

You've already sucked it.

It's already here, look it.

Just keep going. Okay. Keep going.

She likes it. You see? She likes it.

She's not tired.

You're not tired.

You haven't had any yet. She goes, I'm tired. From probably moving your head

back and forth for three minutes? You'll be tired in a little bit, let me tell

you. Your whole body will be like, really?

Yeah. No.

No, it's good.

In a good way, good way.

Just go, just go.

All right, you know, you're going to be fucked.

You all right? You ready to get fucked?

What? No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No. Yeah.

Seriously, no.

No. Seriously.

You know, I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect.

I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect.

I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect.

I'm going to be perfect.

I'm going to be perfect.

I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm

going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm

to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be

perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be

perfect. I'm going to be perfect.

I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to be perfect.

I'm Nothing. Just sit. Well, in a second, you're just gonna... I can't fix

thing on my foot. It's too big.

It will fit. There you go, Billy.

It's so big.

Now go.

Oh, stop.

Go, go.

Oh!

You're doing it again. I'm very happy for you.

He's looking... Are you okay?

His vagina's the bomb. That's what that face is. Exactly.

That's a good face.

Do you see him wimp? It's because he's just like... He doesn't feel good.

You can smack him like that too.

Beat him up. What?

Yeah. Just kidding. What?

She likes it, girl.

We did it.

We did awesome.

Ready?

Bounce that ass on that fucking cock.

Don't be afraid to do that. Yeah.

I know. What the hell is she complaining about?

Get it, girl.

We will teach you what an

orgasm is and you will never go back.

Well, girls, looks like we have a new whore to add to the circle.

We're going to have fucking orgies now.

Virgin pussies.

What?

This is your time. This is your time.

Bill knows the deal.

She's doing what you girls say. What's wrong with that?

What? Just hush. What are you going to do, girls? Just don't talk.

Trust me, we know it best.

You love this?

we've ever had anywhere.

Blame Bill on his dick, I mean.

Can I choke him out?

Fuck yeah.

Yeah?

Fuck.

I love you again.

What?

I feel like, like, I don't know, crazy, like I'm going to pee or something.

Yeah, that's good.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's the feeling of you getting a fucking squirt everywhere. Maybe you're

squirter. And you just don't know it yet.

Do you see the whole sucking thing? Oh, yeah.

He's rotating and he fucks us up. Oh, fuck.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? What?

Oh, yeah. What? He's going to do that.

Come on. He's got a fucking body.

He's got a fucking body.

I'm going to take you to my house.

Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. Fuck yeah? I mean, what do you mean? Yeah, you want?

Fuck.

I'm going to come live with you.

You're not going to live with me.

This is my goodness. You like that?

It feels fucking hard to do.

What are you going to do now?

Close your eyes.

This way you won't get your first cum shot in your face. Can I look?

You can look if you want to.

Get it, girl.

First facial.

Dude,

you look beautiful.

You do.

Right back, Pablo Picasso face time.

You look gorgeous, darling.

You got a big milky mustache.

And a beard, too.

That's why I'm supposed to do it, Anna.

You can eat it or wipe it off. I usually wipe it off.

It doesn't taste bad. It's just a little saucy. Depends on the guy, though. A

lot of tobacco makes it sour. Isn't that weird?

That's serious.

Tobacco makes it sour? Yeah. Do you ever, like, have a guy, like, almost,

it's not, like, gross, but it's, like, almost, like, different tasting?

A lot of nicotine guys that drink a lot, guys that have a high acid diet. I know

guys who, like, eat a lot of fruit and stuff. It tastes, like... Sweet.

because that's natural sugar.

How was it?

We had Billy make us dessert.

Wait, no. First of all, did you have an orgasm?

She had like five.

She had her body like... Yeah, she got in control like three times.

I told you, I told you, and you're like, no.

Aren't you glad you did it? I'm too shy to kiss you.

You're like, call me.

Okay, can I come back tonight maybe?

You can join the group because I didn't get any today.