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1
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,735
What can brown do for me?
Move your fucking truck!
2
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,062
Oh, what a weekend.
3
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,903
I mean a three-day cruise
4
00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:44,967
and now we get to see
your place in New York, honey.
5
00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:47,809
I personally am excited
to meet Tim the boyfriend.
6
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:50,509
Oh yes, the boyfriend.
7
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,347
- You guys.
- My little girl.
8
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,047
- I hope you like him.
- I'm sure we will, sweetie.
9
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,682
He sounds positively delightful.
10
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,521
Tim!
11
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,619
What? Oh, Amy. I thought
you guys were coming in tonight.
12
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,459
- Who is she?
- Who?
13
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,862
- This woman?
- Yes.
14
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,560
Or that woman?
That's your mother, I assume.
15
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,795
- No, who is she?
- Oh, my name's Debbie.
16
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,064
- That's Debbie.
- Yeah.
17
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,537
I'm sitting with Debbie.
18
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,335
And what is Debbie doing here?
19
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:16,865
- She's an electrician.
- Oh.
20
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,275
That's what she does for a living.
21
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,006
- An electrician?
- Yeah.
22
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,877
- So let's just...
- Are you a prostitute?
23
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,974
- Oh, no.
- What's happening?
24
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,247
Now you've crossed the line.
25
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:28,686
I don't allow that kind
of language in this home.
26
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,951
- What a mouth.
- What do you do?
27
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:34,517
I am a self-employed person.
28
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,620
But occasionally
29
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:39,461
- I do give a $10 BJ.
- Oh-ho!
30
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,899
- $10 BJ?
- $10 BJ, what's that?
31
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,402
- What does that phrase mean?
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
32
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,495
- You should know.
- What does BJ stand for?
33
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,199
I can't believe you
got a prostitute
34
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,367
while we're on a cruise.
35
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,639
Let's... you know what?
Let's change the subject.
36
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:55,273
- How was the cruise?
- Uh, it was lovely.
37
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:58,079
- Thank you.
- The shrimp was good.
38
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,884
- The shrimp was good?
- Tim, we are not changing the subject.
39
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:03,946
Was it like a shrimp cocktail or...
40
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:07,084
- Just buffet. King size.
- Buffet style. That's nice.
41
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,652
- That sounds like a nice cruise.
- Tim!
42
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,687
- Yeah?
- We are not changing the subject.
43
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,926
There is a prostitute
sitting on our couch.
44
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,901
- Language.
- You're still dwelling on that?
45
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:19,098
- Yes!
- I'm sure Tim has a good explanation.
46
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,403
Let's just pay the woman
and be done with it.
47
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,705
- Yes.
- Miss, what does Timothy owe you?
48
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:26,769
Oh, Timothy here
owes me $300.
49
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,407
- Good lord, for what?
- That's too much.
50
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,883
That's just too much money.
51
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:35,354
Well, for house calls
my rate is $50 flat.
52
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:38,084
- That's fair.
- Then there's another $50
53
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,149
for a hurry-up-and-do-it-now rate.
54
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:41,785
Okay.
55
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,194
And then you asked
for the back-door action.
56
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,198
- No no.
- Back-door action?
57
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,564
- $200.
- Tim, who are you?
58
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,432
Who am I?
I'm not the back-door guy.
59
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,597
Yes, you are.
You called and said,
60
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,574
"It's 9:00 a.m.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
61
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,839
Send someone over for some
back-door action at Tim's place."
62
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,073
No, I did not say
cock-a-doodle-doo.
63
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,810
Okay, you know what?
We're not having this conversation.
64
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,750
My parents are here
for one night.
65
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:08,481
- I want her gone.
- All right, that's a good idea.
66
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,319
Why don't you guys go into the kitchen,
start preparing dinner?
67
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,724
We'll settle up
and we'll have a nice night.
68
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,888
Amy, I don't know
if you noticed,
69
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,727
I vacuumed.
70
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:24,800
Wow, that was not
a good first impression.
71
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:27,362
Is it because I mentioned
the back-door action?
72
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:30,001
- That didn't help, I got to say.
- Oh.
73
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,012
- I obviously called you by mistake...
- No, you didn't.
74
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,947
...so if you could just leave.
No hard feelings.
75
00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:38,780
Okay, I won't have
any hard feelings
76
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,445
when you cough up $300.
77
00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:44,388
How about a free dinner?
Free meatloaf?
78
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,154
Sugar, I don't want meatloaf.
I want money.
79
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:49,684
I don't have it.
I don't make that much.
80
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,822
Well, then I'm calling Maurice.
81
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:54,128
- Maurice?
- Maurice. I'm calling him now.
82
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,294
- You're calling Maurice?
- I'm calling Maurice.
83
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,133
- Unbelievable.
- Quiet.
84
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,867
Just have Maurice
send me an invoice.
85
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,967
- Oh, don't try that, honey.
- Have Maurice...
86
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,978
- Okay.
- Maurice!
87
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,775
Yes, this is Debbie.
88
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:11,614
I'm here with a young gentleman
who owes me $300
89
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,484
and he wants to pay
with meatloaf.
90
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,715
Explain to him
how she's gonna prepare it.
91
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,520
Quiet, sugar. Is that okay?
92
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,050
All right.
93
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,426
Bye, sugar.
94
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,829
What did Maurice say?
He's cool with that?
95
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,493
- Oh, Maurice is coming over.
- Maurice is coming over?
96
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,798
Mind if I sit here
for about 20 minutes?
97
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:38,035
You guys having fun?
Enjoying yourselves?
98
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:40,602
It's meatloaf night.
99
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,877
- It is meatloaf night.
- Tim, is she gone?
100
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:44,849
Uh, gone? No.
101
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:48,251
Debbie's not gone,
and just a quick FYI,
102
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,054
Maurice is gonna join us.
Should be fun.
103
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,786
Catch up with
you guys in a bit.
104
00:04:57,830 --> 00:05:00,822
This is not good.
We only have four chairs.
105
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,926
We always only have
four chairs, Tim.
106
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,994
I know.
This is not good. Um...
107
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,563
Would it be awkward
if Debbie sits on my lap?
108
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,336
- Um, yes it would.
- That would be awkward?
109
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,240
- Yes, it would be really awkward.
- Who else...
110
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:13,370
- can she sit on your dad's lap?
- No!
111
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,779
We got no choice.
Do you want her to sit on your lap?
112
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,682
Okay, you know what?
Fine. Just sit down.
113
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:21,653
- Let's work with what we have.
- Yeah, let's do it.
114
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:24,714
Mmm, two of my favorite things...
115
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,248
meatloaf and giving
a lap dance.
116
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,318
- No no, stop doing that.
- Up and down.
117
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,852
- This is not a lap dance.
- Up and down.
118
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,228
Stop the up and down.
119
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,733
- Tim, this is not a lap dance.
- I'm well aware.
120
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,598
- So, Timothy.
- Yeah?
121
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,799
You're the head of the household here.
Would you like to say grace?
122
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,103
- Grace? I would love to say grace.
- Excellent.
123
00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:44,905
- Say a little prayer to the Lord.
- Oh, how nice.
124
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:48,345
Lord, thank You
for the blessings
125
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:50,611
You have bestowed upon us.
126
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,584
We pray for health,
127
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:54,711
we pray for happiness,
128
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:58,747
and for the $300 I owe Maurice.
129
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:02,488
We really are hoping
for that to come through.
130
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,086
If You could set that up.
131
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,997
And, uh, we pray for understanding.
132
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,298
- Mm-hmm.
- As we all occasionally
133
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:14,033
request back-door action
by accident
134
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,735
when we tried to call
an electrician.
135
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:19,472
It happens.
It simply happens.
136
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,639
And in Your name we pray. Amen.
137
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,740
Amen.
138
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:27,014
- That was a very interesting prayer.
- Thank you.
139
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,611
All right, let's just do this.
140
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:30,417
Let's just have a nice dinner.
141
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:32,583
Whoops, there's Maurice.
142
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,389
That didn't last long.
143
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,988
- Hello?
- You don't let me upstairs
144
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:41,295
I'm gonna take your head
and shove it through your asshole.
145
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,768
Safe to assume that's Maurice?
146
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:46,203
That's unmistakably Maurice.
147
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,639
- That's classic Maurice.
- I'm waiting down here.
148
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:51,404
- Maurice, I'm buzzing you in.
- Who's Maurice?
149
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:54,607
Well, he says he works
in financial retrieval,
150
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:57,775
but that just means
he's a pimp.
151
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,944
- Okay, we're leaving.
- You're leaving?
152
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,749
What do you mean you're leaving?
How's Maurice gonna feel?
153
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,483
- Mom, Dad...
- He just got here.
154
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,115
...let's just go out for a nice dinner
155
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,251
and then we'll get you
back to your hotel.
156
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,454
This is crazy.
157
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,759
It was a pleasure
meeting you, Timothy.
158
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,459
The pleasure was all mine.
159
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:16,229
If we never see each other
again, son, good luck.
160
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,237
Never see each other again?
What happened here?
161
00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:21,702
You know,
I think you made
162
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,572
a better impression
than you think.
163
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,042
You think I made
a good impression?
164
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:27,443
Mmm-hmm.
See, if you ask me,
165
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,380
the fact that you vacuumed
166
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:31,883
cancels out
the back-door action.
167
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,079
- I don't think it cancels it.
- Well, maybe it...
168
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,953
- Whoops.
- You got my money, bitch?
169
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,251
What kind of entrance is that?
170
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,316
I want cash in my hand.
171
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:42,327
- I don't have it.
- What?
172
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:44,329
- I don't have the money.
- Then we're gonna have to barter.
173
00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,797
- Barter?
- Let me see what I want in this place.
174
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,391
- No.
- TV sucks.
175
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,834
- You can't have that.
- Furniture sucks.
176
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,168
Man, I don't want
any of this junk.
177
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,400
This place is beat, yo.
178
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,136
- You want some meatloaf?
- What?
179
00:07:57,176 --> 00:08:00,168
- I can give you half of the meatloaf.
- Come on, man.
180
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,340
- You don't want it?
- No.
181
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:05,111
You're not being reasonable.
You're really...
182
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:08,348
You better shut your mouth right now,
son, and find my $300.
183
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:10,378
- You understand?
- All right. Um...
184
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,859
how about some clothes?
I can give you this shirt.
185
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:17,124
Can you honestly picture me
wearing a shirt like that?
186
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,563
I can. No offense,
187
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:23,296
your look is a little... little expected.
188
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,860
What did you say?
189
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,496
I just said
it's like a parody.
190
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,598
If this was a TV sitcom,
191
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,371
the pimp would look like you.
192
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,105
Maybe you got a point.
193
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:35,306
You know what? I think I do.
Here, try my shirt on.
194
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,576
A'ight.
195
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:41,616
Oh, that is precious.
196
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,383
- That's working.
- You know what?
197
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,686
I think this is
a good look for me.
198
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,352
- That's a very good look.
- Yeah.
199
00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,361
You could be a pimp or a CPA.
200
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,260
- I look hard in this.
- It's nice.
201
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,356
Check this angle. Bam!
202
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:55,492
- Bam.
- Feel that?
203
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,298
Watch this.
I could slap too in this thing.
204
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,894
- Bam!
- Bam!
205
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:00,872
Slap you up, bitch.
Give me my money.
206
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,431
- Okay.
- Feels good. Feels good.
207
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,206
It looks good.
It suits your job and your lifestyle.
208
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,442
What you think, Debbie?
Do I look like a badass pimp?
209
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,815
Oh, with some nice chinos,
I think you would.
210
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,649
- Those chinos?
- Mmm-hmm.
211
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,314
- These? You want these?
- Yeah.
212
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:18,323
- Let's do it.
- Why don't you take them pants off?
213
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:21,815
I'll take them off right now
if that makes this go away.
214
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,927
That's a good look.
215
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:27,091
I think this might be
a good look for me.
216
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,327
I don't know, you know?
217
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,631
I mean, you don't find a lot
of pimps shopping at The Gap...
218
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,365
- You're right.
...or Banana Republic.
219
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,930
Tim, I think you did
a very good job.
220
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:37,636
- I'm glad it worked out.
- You might have changed my life.
221
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,510
I got a dream now. You know what
I'm saying? I feel good in these things.
222
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,878
This is emotional.
223
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,780
You're a good guy.
224
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:46,341
Wow, you're not crying, are you?
225
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:49,218
No, I'm not. I will shiv you
quicker than you can blink.
226
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,587
All right,
obviously you're not crying.
227
00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:54,092
I'm gonna show myself out.
228
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,993
All right. That worked out.
That's nice. Happy ending.
229
00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:59,964
Or as I like to say,
back to the meatloaf.
230
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,968
Should I put something on?
231
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,402
No, I'm used to that look.
232
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,532
This dinner really took
a weird... a weird turn.
233
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,405
- Didn't it though?
- Yeah.
234
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,071
Yeah, I think it's nice, though.
235
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,444
- You're a very good host.
- Thank you.
236
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:16,778
- You know, Tim?
- Yeah?
237
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:20,479
Most people have never
treated me as nice as you have.
238
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,146
Well, I try to be nice.
239
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:24,713
Oh, you're very nice.
240
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:27,089
- Now I want to do something for you.
- Okay.
241
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,219
How about...
242
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,751
a half price BJ?
243
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,321
- No no.
- Doesn't that sound fun?
244
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,267
It actually does,
but let's just not go there.
245
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,428
Okay, baby. I understand.
246
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,961
How about a little peck
on the cheek?
247
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,941
- You want to peck me on the cheek?
- Yeah, or a hug?
248
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,772
- That seems pretty innocent.
- Okay.
249
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,404
- Come here.
- Let's do that.
250
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:51,009
Okay, that's not a peck.
251
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,481
Tim?
252
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,216
- Amy?
- Hello.
253
00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:58,848
What are you doing?
254
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,052
What am I doing
or how am I doing?
255
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:02,492
What are you doing?
256
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:04,257
Listen, don't rush to judgment
257
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,821
just because I'm nude
and we're making out.
258
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,834
Unbelievable.
259
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,733
I vacuumed.
260
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,379
Hey, Rodney,
everything good?
261
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,475
Yeah, man.
Hanging large, know what I mean?
262
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,009
- Uh, kind of.
- Good, good.
263
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,522
Hey, you know, Timbo,
I've kind of always considered you
264
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,251
to be one
of my closest friends, man.
265
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:33,815
- Closest?
- Yeah.
266
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,760
We've never spoken outside
of the desk area here, you know?
267
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:39,731
Still, you get to know a guy
when you make small talk and whatnot.
268
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,029
- You know what my last name is?
- No idea.
269
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:44,502
Anyway, I want to invite you
and Stu to my bachelor party.
270
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,834
- You're getting married?
- Yeah.
271
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,771
- To who?
- Oh, dude, some broad.
272
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,172
- Some broad?
- So here's the deal.
273
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,109
The party is going to
just be, boom, fantastic.
274
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:54,840
I rented out a club.
It's gonna be 20 guys,
275
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,713
20 strippers
and, bam, a midget.
276
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,547
There's gonna be
a midget at the party?
277
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,382
I know, a midget, man.
You know what I mean?
278
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:02,978
- That sounds crazy.
- Rodney, Rodney.
279
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,819
- Alan, what's up?
- I'm 4'11".
280
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,290
All right? 4'11".
281
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,520
I'm happy to come to
these parties of yours,
282
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,927
but please stop telling
people I'm a midget, man.
283
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,227
Alan, dude,
you are a small guy. It's just...
284
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,062
It's ignorant and hurtful.
285
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,728
- Come on, dude.
- I'm 4'11".
286
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,431
Both of you need to get ready
to party Rodney style.
287
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,463
- You know what I mean?
- I don't, but...
288
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,475
Chicks and midgets. Bam!
289
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:31,279
This is partying Rodney style?
290
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:34,184
Yeah, I don't know what to say, man.
291
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,450
I mean, maybe everybody's
running late.
292
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,650
- Everybody?
- What about the strippers?
293
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,683
- Uh, yeah, they all called in sick.
- All 20?
294
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:44,252
They said there's some kind
of flu bug going around.
295
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:47,060
You know, there was some kind of,
like, virus that was stuck to the pole.
296
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,761
Then when they rubbed
their junk on it, they all got sick.
297
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,532
- I guess that's the way it goes.
- I read about that online.
298
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,335
- Yo yo yo yo yo yo, gentlemen.
- Yo?
299
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,035
You ready to get
this party started?
300
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,839
- I don't think we are, actually.
- Yes!
301
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,607
Please, let's do it.
When people finally get here
302
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:01,943
I want this thing to be cracking.
303
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,449
All right.
Then come on down, motherfuckers!
304
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,474
- Who's he talking to?
- He got so angry.
305
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,488
Let's get this fucking
party started!
306
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,490
- Language.
- Yeah, you don't have to curse.
307
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,925
- You, asshole, on the floor.
- Really, I got to stop you right there.
308
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,894
- Now! Now! Now!
- I do not appreciate...
309
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:20,296
- Jesus.
- Let's get this motherfucker popping!
310
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,391
Let's start bumping.
311
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:25,494
I appreciate the rhyme,
but I'm still not onboard.
312
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:29,133
With bitches on the floor,
we party all the more.
313
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,699
- What did he call us?
- Bitches, dude.
314
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,335
We're acting like bitches.
Come on, guys,
315
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,970
let's just dance
a little bit, please.
316
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,537
- The three of us?
- Tim.
317
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,776
All right.
All right, motherfuckers.
318
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,217
- Yes.
- This bitch is ready to turn it loose.
319
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:42,049
Heat! Heat!
320
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,918
Dance! Heat!
321
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:46,652
Man meat! Dance!
322
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,216
Is it just me or is this perhaps
323
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,421
the gayest bachelor party
in the history of the world?
324
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:51,986
Got to be top 10.
325
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,499
Guys, I'm getting in the cage
and I'm taking off my shirt.
326
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:55,830
- Oh no.
- Oh, God.
327
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:58,029
No, this is not what people
do at bachelor parties.
328
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,095
This is what
I'm doing right now.
329
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:02,869
One motherfucker
in the house getting it.
330
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,933
Caged heat! Caged heat!
331
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,638
Caged heat!
Caged heat!
332
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,011
Rodney, I'm begging with you
to get out of that cage.
333
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,812
- Why, man? I'm digging this.
- If people show up...
334
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,445
You're dancing in a cage
for two guys. All right?
335
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:17,353
That is not your traditional
straight man's bachelor party.
336
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:19,414
All right, all right.
Cut the music, cut the music.
337
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,622
Wow, that was
incredibly awkward.
338
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:27,427
- Man, this is depressing.
- That never happened, okay?
339
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:28,728
No one showed up
but you guys.
340
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,598
I know, and I don't
even want to be here.
341
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:33,696
- I know that I'm loud and obnoxious...
- True.
342
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,206
...and grab people and stuff.
343
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,232
But, I don't know.
I thought people liked me.
344
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,335
Rodney, some people like you.
345
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,710
- People know who you are.
- Yeah, you're well-known.
346
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:45,080
Dude, I'm kind of embarrassed
to go to work tomorrow.
347
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,846
What am I gonna
tell everybody?
348
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,719
We'll make up stories.
How's that sound?
349
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:52,417
Make it sound like
a crazy fun party.
350
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:55,621
All your friends were here
and everyone will wish they came.
351
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,322
You guys would
do that for me?
352
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,297
Yeah, who cares?
Yeah.
353
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,162
- I don't give a shit.
- All right?
354
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,532
All right.
Yeah, I'm on this, man.
355
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,059
Okay, I got it, I got it.
356
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,368
Stu, you greased up
two chicks in the cage
357
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,533
and had your way with them
while someone was videotaping.
358
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,133
It'll be on YouTube next week.
359
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:12,803
I can't wait to see the footage.
360
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,712
And me, uh, the bartender
gave me this look and I was like,
361
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,477
"What?" and he was like "What?"
And then I kicked his ass.
362
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,711
That's pretty good.
That sounds like a fun party.
363
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,481
How about me?
What did I do?
364
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,216
Oh, oh, Timbo,
you just threw up
365
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,087
all over yourself
and then you went home early.
366
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,491
- What? No.
- Yeah.
367
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,119
- It's perfect.
- No, give me a good story.
368
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,629
Give me something
with a stripper.
369
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:32,858
You puked on a stripper.
370
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,298
- Why am I puking at all?
- It fits you.
371
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,165
- No, it doesn't.
- Totally. Like a glove.
372
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:39,136
Let's do something with me
in the cage with like a...
373
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:41,105
I got it.
Tim drank too much
374
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,665
- and took a dump in his pants.
- Oh, perfect.
375
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,370
I don't like the story.
376
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,437
I don't like
the general themes you're exploring.
377
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,448
Tim, if we exaggerate
no one will believe us.
378
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,609
It has to be
authentic to you,
379
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,846
who you are around
the office and stuff.
380
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,377
- That's who I am?
- Yeah.
381
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,946
Remember, we're doing
this for Rodney.
382
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,548
Yeah, come on, Tim.
383
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:02,025
Let's just come up
with a good one for me.
384
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,961
All right, Tim. You know what?
Let me sleep on it
385
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,793
and I'll have something
good for you in the morning.
386
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,731
- Something fun?
- Fun, exciting.
387
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,427
You know, but authentic.
388
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:14,603
- Oh, dude, you should've been there.
- Oh yeah?
389
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,471
- It was like midgets everywhere.
- Oh my God.
390
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:18,373
- And you should have seen Stu.
- Yeah?
391
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:21,573
He's in this cage with this chick
that's dressed up like a cheetah
392
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:23,547
and he's like
in this safari outfit
393
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,413
but he's got like this
big tub of Vaseline
394
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,544
and he's just like
rubbing it all over
395
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,884
and making out with her.
You know what I mean?
396
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,685
And I was just
getting mine too. It was cool.
397
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,919
- Oh man, I always miss the...
- Hey.
398
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,290
Hey.
399
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,659
The boss wants to see me?
Is that true?
400
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,130
Yeah yeah.
You can head right in.
401
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,065
All right.
Sorry for interrupting.
402
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,193
- Hey, Tim.
- Yeah?
403
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:46,500
It's gonna be okay, man.
404
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:50,065
I mean, l...
just keep your head up high.
405
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,340
- All right.
- All right.
406
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,438
Great.
407
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:57,244
Ah, Timothy.
408
00:16:57,282 --> 00:16:58,909
- Yes?
- Come in, come in.
409
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,714
- Close the door too, please.
- Close the door?
410
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,311
- Yeah, shut the door.
- Okay.
411
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,480
Sit down, please.
Or don't sit.
412
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,513
You don't have to sit.
413
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,889
- I'll stand.
- Great.
414
00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:09,655
- Hi.
- Hey.
415
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,994
I understand you attended
Rodney's bachelor party last night.
416
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,728
Oh, that.
Yeah, we had a good time.
417
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,895
- Really? You had a great time?
- So much fun.
418
00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:20,530
- Huh.
- Rodney had a lot of friends there.
419
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:22,472
- Right.
- It got pretty nuts.
420
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,442
A lot of good close friends.
421
00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:27,570
Listen, I'm all for some
light-hearted shenanigans,
422
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,740
but I have to say
that I'm a little concerned
423
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,613
about you in particular.
424
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,777
What did...
I was just at the party.
425
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,310
- Hmm, really?
- Yeah.
426
00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:38,516
I'm hearing
a couple of stories,
427
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,220
and your story strikes me
as just a little freaky.
428
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,729
- My story?
- Yeah.
429
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,663
Did I, um...
430
00:17:46,698 --> 00:17:49,098
did I do something with a stripper?
I don't even remember.
431
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:50,761
- No no.
- What did I do?
432
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,863
Well, it's my understanding
that you were raped by a bum.
433
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,430
Come again?
434
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,874
- Raped by a bum.
- No. No, my story...
435
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,276
- I kicked some guy's ass.
- No, you were raped by a bum.
436
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:02,177
- I went home with a stripper.
- I'm sorry, I'm confused.
437
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:03,476
Are you saying
Rodney's a liar?
438
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:07,042
Um... can I have a minute?
439
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,986
- Rodney?
- Yeah?
440
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,454
Raped by a bum?
441
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,081
Right in the backside.
You know what I mean?
442
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,149
- That's not a good story.
- Why not, man? It fits you.
443
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,593
- It fits me? No.
- Yeah, you're like a frail guy.
444
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:19,654
I can see like some homeless drunk
taking advantage of you.
445
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:22,667
- No, it's not a good story.
- If you're not into it...
446
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:25,295
- Get in there, tell him the truth.
- Okay, fine.
447
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,703
Yeah, I'm a good storyteller, Tim.
I'll rework it.
448
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:30,105
- Let's rework it a lot.
- Yeah.
449
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:32,201
Hey, boss.
450
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:33,939
Uh, I wanted to clear
something up with you.
451
00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:35,810
- Yes, Rodney, go.
- You're not gonna believe this,
452
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,783
but there was a misunderstanding
between you and me earlier.
453
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,250
- Oh?
- This is crazy.
454
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,082
Tim wasn't raped by a bum.
455
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,284
- He... he wasn't raped?
- No, I thought I made this clear,
456
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:49,090
but he actually bought
drapes for a bum.
457
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,495
Drapes?
You bought drapes for a bum?
458
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,658
I did. I bought drapes.
459
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,930
- I, um...
- He left the party and...
460
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,563
I just cut out and went
to Bloomingdale's.
461
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,300
- I don't believe you.
- You don't believe me?
462
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,240
- No, I don't believe either of you.
- Okay.
463
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:05,470
- Okay? What happened?
- Rodney.
464
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:06,842
- What?
- It's very noble of you
465
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,779
to try and cover for Tim,
466
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,805
but the reality is
467
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,249
a bum stuck his penis
inside of Tim.
468
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,810
That much has been established.
It's clear.
469
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:18,220
- Let's not lock that down just yet.
- Tim, it's been established.
470
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:20,418
- Please stop saying that.
- No, it's true. It happened.
471
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,859
- That did not... the details of it...
- He bought drapes.
472
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,920
Tim, I'm sending you
to Human Resources
473
00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:27,090
for some mandatory counseling.
474
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,690
- Counseling?
- Counseling.
475
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,996
- Marie.
- Don't bother Marie.
476
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:32,026
I'm sending Tim down your way.
477
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,697
Because he was raped
by a bum last night?
478
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,570
- Exactly.
- All right.
479
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:39,168
Wow, word travels fast.
480
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:44,043
- Hey, Marie.
- Tim, how are you?
481
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,710
- Doing all right.
- I have a couple of questions.
482
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,743
- All right, let's just...
- We'll just wrap this up.
483
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,254
- Yeah.
- And then you can put
484
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,722
this entire ordeal behind you...
485
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,349
- That's what l...
...so to speak.
486
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,485
Behind me.
487
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,927
Just a little bum-rape humor.
I'm sorry.
488
00:19:57,963 --> 00:20:00,761
Bum rape humor?
That's not a genre of humor.
489
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,426
Anyway, if you could
describe exactly
490
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:04,435
what happened between
you and this homeless man.
491
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,369
- To be perfectly honest...
- Yes, please.
492
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:09,465
...it never happened.
The event did not take place.
493
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:11,339
Tim, you're in denial.
494
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,469
- No, I'm coming clean.
- No.
495
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:16,948
You continue to say no.
That's an indication of denial.
496
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:19,246
- No.
- No. See? It's right there.
497
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:21,809
Tim, I'm worried. I'm afraid
this man could strike again.
498
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:24,481
No, let's just assume
that's not gonna happen.
499
00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:26,787
We can't take the chance.
I'm gonna need to contact the police.
500
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,816
He seemed like a good guy.
Don't bug him.
501
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:31,658
- I need to call the cops right now.
- No no, don't call them.
502
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,187
Tim, it's Omnicorp policy.
503
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,724
Omnicorp has a policy
on bum rape?
504
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,862
My hands are tied...
as I'm sure yours were.
505
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,998
I'm sorry.
506
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,598
You should not be
the HR lady.
507
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,372
- You really should not.
- Oh, man. Yeah.
508
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:51,081
- Hey, Tim. Thanks for coming by.
- Okay.
509
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:52,811
Listen, we rounded up
all the homeless men
510
00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,614
within a five-block radius
of the crime site.
511
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,712
All we need is
a positive ID of this bum
512
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,416
and you can be on
your way back home, okay?
513
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:01,392
- Whatever puts this to an end.
- Great.
514
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,860
Bum number one,
please reenact the crime.
515
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,760
Uh, what do I do?
516
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,960
You've got to pretend you're having
sexual relationships with this man.
517
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:11,401
With this guy?
Can I touch him?
518
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,801
- Can you touch him?
- No no.
519
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,567
- That might be good for you, Tim.
- No.
520
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,574
It's very realistic to be touched.
Maybe that'll help.
521
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,735
- You know what? Yes, touch him, bum.
- All right.
522
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,369
That's really the way
you do these things?
523
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:23,609
Here we go.
524
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,583
No, it's not him.
525
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,278
It's not the guy.
Let's get number two.
526
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,082
- That's not the guy?
- It's so not the guy.
527
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,055
- Really, you sure?
- I'm so positive.
528
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:33,455
Maybe it'll jog your memory
if he took his clothes off.
529
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,960
- No, that would not help.
- Bum number one...
530
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,928
- I want to go.
...could you please get naked for us?
531
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,557
- All right.
- This is not how lineups usually work.
532
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,157
- That's better.
- That doesn't help at all?
533
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,428
- It doesn't.
- You sure, Tim?
534
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,129
It was dark.
It was behind a dumpster.
535
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,899
- Look at his body.
- Yeah.
536
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:49,065
Get a good look
at his body, Tim.
537
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:50,972
My face was in the dirt.
538
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,840
Whoa, hey. Excuse me.
539
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,403
Sergeant, we have
a development on this case here.
540
00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:57,608
- What's the development?
- Development?
541
00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:00,345
We got the security tape
from the crime site.
542
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:03,047
- It's pretty revealing.
- Why do you keep talking? Put it in.
543
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:04,885
- All right.
- Security tape?
544
00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:07,619
- Who's that?
- Looks like you, Tim.
545
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:11,254
- Those tapes are so grainy.
- Rodney, we're gonna make up stories.
546
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,264
We're gonna make up
fake stories,
547
00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:16,165
make everyone at work think
they missed a great party.
548
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:18,499
- Huh.
- Wow.
549
00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:20,732
- Wow.
- I got a question for you, Tim.
550
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:23,206
- Yeah?
- There was no bum rape, was there?
551
00:22:23,241 --> 00:22:25,402
You know what?
I've got to come clean here.
552
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,072
There was no bum rape.
It never happened.
553
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:30,274
- I'm glad we settled this.
- Never happened?
554
00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:33,148
Sorry to inconvenience you guys.
I'll be on my way.
555
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:36,518
- On no.
- And sorry to inconvenience the bums.
556
00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:39,046
No no no no.
It's not gonna happen like that, Tim.
557
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,752
- No?
- No. What was this?
558
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:43,522
- What do you mean?
- Was this your 15 minutes of fame?
559
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:46,292
- Fame? No.
- Yeah, you want to be on "60 Minutes"?
560
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:47,855
You wanna go,
"Oh, look at me, I'm Tim.
561
00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:49,332
I'm the guy who got raped by a bum."
562
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,802
- That's the opposite of what I want.
- Want to shake hands
563
00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:54,135
- with Oprah Winfrey?
- Not really.
564
00:22:54,172 --> 00:22:55,799
- You wanna go on "The View"?
- No no.
565
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:57,638
I'd like for this to
fly under the radar.
566
00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,234
No, you're gonna get
your wish, sonny boy.
567
00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:02,041
- I am?
- You're getting your big old wish.
568
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,911
- No, please don't give me my wish.
- Yeah.
569
00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:05,883
I'm gonna give you your wish.
You're either going on TV
570
00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:08,511
or you're going in jail.
Your choice, Timmy.
571
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:11,215
Those aren't good choices.
572
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,122
Tonight on "60 Minutes"...
573
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:18,857
the Chinese economy shows
no signs of slowing,
574
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:21,127
but at what cost
to the environment?
575
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:23,657
Then a one-on-one with Tim
576
00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:27,069
who was raped by a bum
behind a filthy dumpster.
577
00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:29,403
What was it like?
578
00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:32,808
Anyone that's been raped
by a bum knows the drill.
579
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:36,280
He pretty much took
his pants off and went crazy.
580
00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:40,684
What the fuck?
581
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,516
Did I not tell you that story?
42451
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