Original subtitles

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(Train approaches)

(Train speeds past)

(Train approaches)

(Train speeds past)

(Man) 'Good morning, boys and girls.

'It has been brought to my notice

'that some of you have been playing on the railway again.

'You are old enough to understand that the railway is not the place

'for any kind of games.

'I'll say it again - the railway is not the games field.'

(Boy thinking) 'Yeah, but if it was,

'I'd have special races and plenty of trains.

'There'd be my special scoring system and a big scoreboard 20 feet high.

'I'd ask all the parents to come.

'Oh, yeah. I nearly forgot. I'd have a band!'

(♪ Brass band plays)

(Excited chatter)

(Boy) The blue one for me. (Girl) Yellow.

One, two, three. Can you hear me?

(Over Tannoy) 'Can you hear me?

'Will competitors for the nine and under Fence Breaking event

'please move to their positions?

'All entrants for the nine and under Fence Breaking event.'

Can you stop throwing grass?

- Stand up. Come on. Up. - Oh! I don't want to get up now!

Four teams. Reds, yellow, green, blues over there. Quickly.

(Boy) 'Each of the four teams competing starts here.

'They have to run up to the fence,

'break a hole big enough to get all the team through,

'then they must run down the embankment, across the rails

'and up the other side, past the finishing line.'

On your marks... Get set...

(Gun clicks and children laugh)

Come on. All back. Quickly.

(Laughing)

Come on. Quickly.

On your marks... Get set...

(Gunshot)

(Cheering)

(Shouting encouragement)

Come and help me!

She's unconscious. She's knocked out.

- Get up! Get up! - There's a train coming!

- There's a train! - Look!

Come back!

(Train speeds past)

- Nine seconds. - Nine seconds? Oh, wow!

(Panting)

That's a bit too much.

(Over Tannoy) 'First, red. Good time - one minute 28.

'Second, yellow - two minutes six seconds.

'Third, green - two minutes 30 seconds.

'Blue are disqualified for failing to complete with a full team.'

(Over Tannoy) 'Competitors, please, for the 12 and under Stone Throwing.

'12 and under Stone Throwing, competitors to the line-up.'

(Boy) 'Now, you've got four teams -

'green, blue, yellow and red.

'Each team has four chances to hit that moving train

'at a distance of about ten feet.

'Scoring's simple - two points for a smashed window, four for a direct hit.'

Right, come on. Everybody up. Gather round me.

Come on. Quickly. You know what you've got to do, right?

Who was disqualified? Blues, right? You need the points, OK?

So get those rocks going. Now, hurry up. Into four sides.

Green, blue, yellows, reds.

(Train approaching)

(Shouting)

(Train slows down)

Broken window, red, two points.

Broken window, green, two points.

(New speaker) Broken window, two points.

Injured passenger, four points.

(Sobbing)

Total for blue, six points.

Broken window, two points.

Direct hit on driver, six points.

(Moaning)

Total for yellow, eight points.

(Excited chattering)

(Over Tannoy) 'Here is the result of the 12 and under Stone Throwing.

'First, yellow. Eight points.'

(Cheering)

'Second, blue, six points.

(Cheering)

'Tie for third place, red and green, two points each.'

(All chatter at once)

'Slight alteration to programme.

'Will all girls and boys in the Last Across teams

'go now to their track positions?'

- That's us. Come on. - 'The next event is, I repeat,

'Last Across.'

Come on. Down to the track.

- (Children complaining) - Move on. Move on.

(♪ Band plays a brisk march)

Team leaders, line your teams up, now.

(Boy) 'Two teams line up on one side of the track

'and the other two teams are on the other side, facing them.

'When the train passes the Go sign, they have to run across the line.

'With the train moving at about 50 miles an hour,

'I reckon they've got about three seconds.

'The one snag today is that only the judges know

'what speed the train will be travelling - it could be doing 80.

'In which case, they have a lot less than three seconds.'

Red there and yellow here.

And green over there and blue opposite, right?

But facing each other, right?

Come on! Move! Yellows over there.

When that train comes to that certain point

and it says Go, I want you to run across that track like hell.

- Look, you go first! - Just listen!

I want you to run across the track. I couldn't care what happens to you.

You just run across and win.

- You wouldn't! - I want points on that board!

I'm the leader. You just get across there.

Don't want you stopping halfway, either, all right?

If you get across, you won't have to worry.

- You run in the first game. - No, I'm the leader!

- I tell you what to do, right. - Yeah, you lead!

- All you do is stand there... - Look, no buts, nothing.

Just run when the train comes, all right?

You've just got to get across.

If you run fast enough, the train won't get you, will it?

Get across there quickly. It's a piece of cake, isn't it?

You do as I say!

You think you're fantastic, don't ya? You reckon yourself, don't ya?

Why don't you do it? Let's see you do it first.

- No, you're the one that's doing it. - You haven't got the nerve!

- Just do as I say! - You're like a jelly.

Just shut up!

Everybody, train's coming!

Right, it's coming.

Go on, you lot!

(All shouting)

Get up! Come on! Get going!

Come on! Run!

(Over Tannoy) 'The result of the Last Across.

'Yellow - score two, injured two.

'Red - score one, injured three.

'Blue - score seven, injured one.

'Number of dead, one.

'Green - no score.

'Number of dead, four.

'The next event is the Great Tunnel Walk.'

(♪ Band plays "Entry Of The Gladiators")

Is that your place? Come on, get into position.

(Boy) 'Now, this Great Tunnel Walk.

'The tunnel itself is three miles long

'and dark and wet and smelly and horrible.

'Once inside, there'll be no turning back. You've got to keep going.

'Whoever manages to find their way out the other end will be the winner!'

On your marks.

Get set...

(Gunshot)

(Footsteps echoing)

(Footsteps fade into distance)

(Horn blows)

(♪ Continue playing "Entry Of The Gladiators")

(Footsteps)

(Groaning)

- Give me your name. - (Weakly) Gary Collins.

Gary Collins.

(Groaning)

- And yours? - Peter Bradbury.

Peter Bradbury.

- Your name, dear? - (Weakly) Sharon. Sharon Clarke.

Sharon Clarke.

Well done, you three.

'The result of the Tunnel Walk.

'First, Gary Collins. Second, Peter Bradbury.

'And third, Sharon Clarke.

'I'll give out the full finishing order as we get it.'

(♪ Band plays sombre tune)

(♪ Cornet plays the "Last Post")

(Music stops)

(Man) 'So, if any of you think that playing on the railway is a good idea

'perhaps he or she would care to stand up.'