Original subtitles

[music]

[cheering] Heat up here.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to last WEEK

Welcome, welcome, welcome to last WEEK

Welcome, welcome, welcome to last WEEK TONIGHT. WE ARE BACK. [cheering] WE'VE

TONIGHT. WE ARE BACK. [cheering] WE'VE

TONIGHT. WE ARE BACK. [cheering] WE'VE BEEN OFF FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS and

BEEN OFF FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS and

BEEN OFF FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS and we have missed a lot and I mean a lot, a

we have missed a lot and I mean a lot, a

we have missed a lot and I mean a lot, a lot. Trump was awarded the first ever

lot. Trump was awarded the first ever

lot. Trump was awarded the first ever FIFA Peace Prize just weeks before

FIFA Peace Prize just weeks before

FIFA Peace Prize just weeks before kidnapping the president of Venezuela.

kidnapping the president of Venezuela.

kidnapping the president of Venezuela. The latest batch of Epstein files got

The latest batch of Epstein files got

The latest batch of Epstein files got released. Measles numbers exploded

released. Measles numbers exploded

released. Measles numbers exploded across multiple states, which I know

across multiple states, which I know

across multiple states, which I know seems bad, but to be fair, not if you're

seems bad, but to be fair, not if you're

seems bad, but to be fair, not if you're the measles.

the measles.

the measles. Trump repeatedly threatened to take over

Trump repeatedly threatened to take over

Trump repeatedly threatened to take over Greenland, or as he now seems to refer

Greenland, or as he now seems to refer

Greenland, or as he now seems to refer to it about half the time, Iceland. The

to it about half the time, Iceland. The

to it about half the time, Iceland. The Beckham family went through some

Beckham family went through some

Beckham family went through some And Trump said this while promoting

And Trump said this while promoting

And Trump said this while promoting whole milk in the Oval Office.

whole milk in the Oval Office.

whole milk in the Oval Office. >> That's actually a legal definition.

>> That's actually a legal definition.

>> That's actually a legal definition. Whole milk.

Whole milk.

Whole milk. And it's whole with a W for those of you

And it's whole with a W for those of you

And it's whole with a W for those of you that have a problem. [laughter]

that have a problem. [laughter]

that have a problem. [laughter] >> What I mean, I guess he's right there.

>> What I mean, I guess he's right there.

>> What I mean, I guess he's right there. It is actually whole milk with a W, not

It is actually whole milk with a W, not

It is actually whole milk with a W, not whole milk, which I know sounds like

whole milk, which I know sounds like

whole milk, which I know sounds like nonsense, but is actually the official

nonsense, but is actually the official

nonsense, but is actually the official beverage of the absolutely real new

beverage of the absolutely real new

beverage of the absolutely real new Netflix show Detective Hole, starring,

Netflix show Detective Hole, starring,

Netflix show Detective Hole, starring, and this is true, Detective Harry.

and this is true, Detective Harry.

and this is true, Detective Harry. Apparently, it's based on a Norwegian

Apparently, it's based on a Norwegian

Apparently, it's based on a Norwegian series of novels, and it's supposed to

series of novels, and it's supposed to

series of novels, and it's supposed to be pronounced Hoola, but respectfully,

be pronounced Hoola, but respectfully,

be pronounced Hoola, but respectfully, no Norway, it's pronounced whole. And

no Norway, it's pronounced whole. And

no Norway, it's pronounced whole. And that was just the beginning. So, our mom

that was just the beginning. So, our mom

that was just the beginning. So, our mom Donnie was sworn in as New York mayor.

Donnie was sworn in as New York mayor.

Donnie was sworn in as New York mayor. >> [cheering]

>> [cheering]

>> [cheering] >> Eric Adams launched a meme coin that he

>> Eric Adams launched a meme coin that he

>> Eric Adams launched a meme coin that he said would among other things fight

said would among other things fight

said would among other things fight anti-semitism and okay and the

anti-semitism and okay and the

anti-semitism and okay and the department of the interior announced a

department of the interior announced a

department of the interior announced a new coal mascot called kohi which really

new coal mascot called kohi which really

new coal mascot called kohi which really felt like an attempt to bait us into

felt like an attempt to bait us into

felt like an attempt to bait us into coming back early. It wasn't even the

coming back early. It wasn't even the

coming back early. It wasn't even the only time that we were attempted to do

only time that we were attempted to do

only time that we were attempted to do that because there was also the headline

that because there was also the headline

that because there was also the headline beloved walrus penis stolen from New

beloved walrus penis stolen from New

beloved walrus penis stolen from New Jersey cheese steak icon owner is

Jersey cheese steak icon owner is

Jersey cheese steak icon owner is blubbering mad. YOU DON'T THINK IF WE'D

blubbering mad. YOU DON'T THINK IF WE'D

blubbering mad. YOU DON'T THINK IF WE'D BEEN ON AIR BACK THEN WE'D HAVE TRACKED

BEEN ON AIR BACK THEN WE'D HAVE TRACKED

BEEN ON AIR BACK THEN WE'D HAVE TRACKED DOWN THAT WALRUS penis and donated THE

DOWN THAT WALRUS penis and donated THE

DOWN THAT WALRUS penis and donated THE PROCEEDS TO DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS OR

PROCEEDS TO DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS OR

PROCEEDS TO DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS OR SOMETHING? ARE YOU NEW HERE? OH, AND AT

SOMETHING? ARE YOU NEW HERE? OH, AND AT

SOMETHING? ARE YOU NEW HERE? OH, AND AT MISS UNIVERSE, one contestant did this.

MISS UNIVERSE, one contestant did this.

MISS UNIVERSE, one contestant did this. >> Norway.

This salmon inspired gown mirrors both

This salmon inspired gown mirrors both

This salmon inspired gown mirrors both the delegates [music]

the delegates [music]

the delegates [music] movements as a baton twirler and the

movements as a baton twirler and the

movements as a baton twirler and the essence of Norway's leading export.

essence of Norway's leading export.

essence of Norway's leading export. >> YEAH, THAT HAPPENED. MISS Norway wore

>> YEAH, THAT HAPPENED. MISS Norway wore

>> YEAH, THAT HAPPENED. MISS Norway wore this as a costume. And I guess to be

this as a costume. And I guess to be

this as a costume. And I guess to be fair, it does sum up Norway nicely in an

fair, it does sum up Norway nicely in an

fair, it does sum up Norway nicely in an image. I mean, what else was she going

image. I mean, what else was she going

image. I mean, what else was she going to dress up as? Detective Harry Hole.

to dress up as? Detective Harry Hole.

to dress up as? Detective Harry Hole. But [cheering] wait, I'm still not done

But [cheering] wait, I'm still not done

But [cheering] wait, I'm still not done because the Winter Olympics got underway

because the Winter Olympics got underway

because the Winter Olympics got underway and there's already been lots of

and there's already been lots of

and there's already been lots of incredible action as well as some

incredible action as well as some

incredible action as well as some personal drama like this.

personal drama like this.

personal drama like this. >> It was a careerfing moment for Bathlete

>> It was a careerfing moment for Bathlete

>> It was a careerfing moment for Bathlete Sterling Holm Lride. But it's what he

Sterling Holm Lride. But it's what he

Sterling Holm Lride. But it's what he said next that he'll be remembered for.

said next that he'll be remembered for.

said next that he'll be remembered for. 6 months ago, I met the love of my life,

6 months ago, I met the love of my life,

6 months ago, I met the love of my life, the world's most beautiful, wonderful

the world's most beautiful, wonderful

the world's most beautiful, wonderful person in the world. And 3 months ago, I

person in the world. And 3 months ago, I

person in the world. And 3 months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life and

made the biggest mistake of my life and

made the biggest mistake of my life and cheated on her.

cheated on her.

cheated on her. >> Wow. That is usually not the kind of

>> Wow. That is usually not the kind of

>> Wow. That is usually not the kind of declaration of love you see in public.

declaration of love you see in public.

declaration of love you see in public. It is why stadium jumbotrons generally

It is why stadium jumbotrons generally

It is why stadium jumbotrons generally say things like, "Will you marry me?"

say things like, "Will you marry me?"

say things like, "Will you marry me?" and not, "Sorry, I your sister.

and not, "Sorry, I your sister.

and not, "Sorry, I your sister. Are we cool?"

Are we cool?"

Are we cool?" The point is that guy won a bronze medal

The point is that guy won a bronze medal

The point is that guy won a bronze medal then immediately begged for his

then immediately begged for his

then immediately begged for his ex-girlfriend of 6 months to forgive him

ex-girlfriend of 6 months to forgive him

ex-girlfriend of 6 months to forgive him and seemed optimistic that it might

and seemed optimistic that it might

and seemed optimistic that it might work.

work.

work. >> He told his country and the world he'd

>> He told his country and the world he'd

>> He told his country and the world he'd rather commit quote social suicide on

rather commit quote social suicide on

rather commit quote social suicide on live TV if it meant a small chance of

live TV if it meant a small chance of

live TV if it meant a small chance of winning her back.

winning her back.

winning her back. >> Today I made a choice to tell the world

>> Today I made a choice to tell the world

>> Today I made a choice to tell the world what I did. But maybe it can help. I

what I did. But maybe it can help. I

what I did. But maybe it can help. I don't know. I hope there's a happy

don't know. I hope there's a happy

don't know. I hope there's a happy ending. There's not as yet.

ending. There's not as yet.

ending. There's not as yet. >> Oh, there is definitely not because she

>> Oh, there is definitely not because she

>> Oh, there is definitely not because she since put out a statement declining to

since put out a statement declining to

since put out a statement declining to reunite and saying, "We have had contact

reunite and saying, "We have had contact

reunite and saying, "We have had contact and he is aware of my opinions on this."

and he is aware of my opinions on this."

and he is aware of my opinions on this." A response that could only be more

A response that could only be more

A response that could only be more brutal if she delivered it after winning

brutal if she delivered it after winning

brutal if she delivered it after winning silver in his event. And if you're

silver in his event. And if you're

silver in his event. And if you're thinking, "Wow, the bialon is

thinking, "Wow, the bialon is

thinking, "Wow, the bialon is surprisingly messy." You clearly know

surprisingly messy." You clearly know

surprisingly messy." You clearly know nothing about the bialon because it's

nothing about the bialon because it's

nothing about the bialon because it's not even this guy's first time causing

not even this guy's first time causing

not even this guy's first time causing trouble. In 2023, he was banned from the

trouble. In 2023, he was banned from the

trouble. In 2023, he was banned from the Bialon World Cup after accidentally, and

Bialon World Cup after accidentally, and

Bialon World Cup after accidentally, and this is true, shooting his gun in the

this is true, shooting his gun in the

this is true, shooting his gun in the team's hotel. Meanwhile, in the women's

team's hotel. Meanwhile, in the women's

team's hotel. Meanwhile, in the women's competition this year, Julia Simone

competition this year, Julia Simone

competition this year, Julia Simone competed for France despite the fact

competed for France despite the fact

competed for France despite the fact that last October, a French court gave

that last October, a French court gave

that last October, a French court gave her a three-month suspended jail

her a three-month suspended jail

her a three-month suspended jail sentence after she admitted to stealing

sentence after she admitted to stealing

sentence after she admitted to stealing the credit cards of her teammate and an

the credit cards of her teammate and an

the credit cards of her teammate and an unnamed French staffer and making $2,300

unnamed French staffer and making $2,300

unnamed French staffer and making $2,300 in online purchases. She apparently

in online purchases. She apparently

in online purchases. She apparently said, "I can't explain it. I don't

said, "I can't explain it. I don't

said, "I can't explain it. I don't remember doing it. I can't make sense of

remember doing it. I can't make sense of

remember doing it. I can't make sense of it." And I don't know how this story

it." And I don't know how this story

it." And I don't know how this story could get any juicier unless she turns

could get any juicier unless she turns

could get any juicier unless she turns out to be the woman THAT THAT GUY

out to be the woman THAT THAT GUY

out to be the woman THAT THAT GUY CHEATED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH. Because

CHEATED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH. Because

CHEATED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH. Because at that point, someone please call Andy

at that point, someone please call Andy

at that point, someone please call Andy Cohen. We have a new hit Bravo series on

Cohen. We have a new hit Bravo series on

Cohen. We have a new hit Bravo series on our hands. By the way, Simone competed

our hands. By the way, Simone competed

our hands. By the way, Simone competed at the Olympics this week. AND GUESS

at the Olympics this week. AND GUESS

at the Olympics this week. AND GUESS WHAT? SHE WON GOLD.

WHAT? SHE WON GOLD.

WHAT? SHE WON GOLD. THE FRENCH CREDIT CARD THIEF WON GOLD.

THE FRENCH CREDIT CARD THIEF WON GOLD.

THE FRENCH CREDIT CARD THIEF WON GOLD. AND YOU THINK I DON'T want to talk about

AND YOU THINK I DON'T want to talk about

AND YOU THINK I DON'T want to talk about the chaotic energy of Olympic bathletes

the chaotic energy of Olympic bathletes

the chaotic energy of Olympic bathletes for the rest of this show? Of course I

for the rest of this show? Of course I

for the rest of this show? Of course I do.

do.

do. It's all I want to talk about. But

It's all I want to talk about. But

It's all I want to talk about. But sadly, I can't do that because, and I

sadly, I can't do that because, and I

sadly, I can't do that because, and I think you probably know where this is

think you probably know where this is

think you probably know where this is going. We have to dive straight in with

going. We have to dive straight in with

going. We have to dive straight in with our main story this week, which concerns

our main story this week, which concerns

our main story this week, which concerns what's been happening in Minnesota. From

what's been happening in Minnesota. From

what's been happening in Minnesota. From the surge in immigration raids to the

the surge in immigration raids to the

the surge in immigration raids to the killings of Renee Good and Alex Prey to

killings of Renee Good and Alex Prey to

killings of Renee Good and Alex Prey to the massive protests in the streets. And

the massive protests in the streets. And

the massive protests in the streets. And to be clear, for all this

to be clear, for all this

to be clear, for all this administration's talk of paid agitators,

administration's talk of paid agitators,

administration's talk of paid agitators, the protests there came from justifiably

the protests there came from justifiably

the protests there came from justifiably furious locals like this almost absurdly

furious locals like this almost absurdly

furious locals like this almost absurdly Midwestern man. You know what really

Midwestern man. You know what really

Midwestern man. You know what really pisses me off is the fact that they

pisses me off is the fact that they

pisses me off is the fact that they detain people, cuff them, and then still

detain people, cuff them, and then still

detain people, cuff them, and then still beat the out of them. They tell you

beat the out of them. They tell you

beat the out of them. They tell you it's immigrants, only immigrants. It's

it's immigrants, only immigrants. It's

it's immigrants, only immigrants. It's anybody.

anybody.

anybody. >> I I have friends that got detained and

>> I I have friends that got detained and

>> I I have friends that got detained and all they were doing was driving

all they were doing was driving

all they were doing was driving home from work.

home from work.

home from work. >> What the Sounds like you don't fit

>> What the Sounds like you don't fit

>> What the Sounds like you don't fit the definition of the uh And I'm not

the definition of the uh And I'm not

the definition of the uh And I'm not PAID TO BE HERE LIKE EVERYBODY

PAID TO BE HERE LIKE EVERYBODY

PAID TO BE HERE LIKE EVERYBODY SAYS. WHAT THE IS THAT? I

SAYS. WHAT THE IS THAT? I

SAYS. WHAT THE IS THAT? I got to work in the goddamn morning just

got to work in the goddamn morning just

got to work in the goddamn morning just like everybody else. I'm just here

like everybody else. I'm just here

like everybody else. I'm just here trying to stand up for community. Dude,

trying to stand up for community. Dude,

trying to stand up for community. Dude, we're all human beings here. I don't

we're all human beings here. I don't

we're all human beings here. I don't give a who you are, where you came

give a who you are, where you came

give a who you are, where you came from, what color you are. It doesn't

from, what color you are. It doesn't

from, what color you are. It doesn't matter. This is wrong. YEAH. AND

matter. This is wrong. YEAH. AND

matter. This is wrong. YEAH. AND YOU KNOW [cheering]

YOU KNOW [cheering]

YOU KNOW [cheering] you are acting like a bunch of dicks

you are acting like a bunch of dicks

you are acting like a bunch of dicks when you're provoking that level of

when you're provoking that level of

when you're provoking that level of response in Minnesota. A state whose

response in Minnesota. A state whose

response in Minnesota. A state whose whole thing is being MINNESOTA NICE.

whole thing is being MINNESOTA NICE.

whole thing is being MINNESOTA NICE. THEY PUT IT ON MERCH.

THEY PUT IT ON MERCH.

THEY PUT IT ON MERCH. Other states couldn't pull that off,

Other states couldn't pull that off,

Other states couldn't pull that off, especially because Florida nice sounds

especially because Florida nice sounds

especially because Florida nice sounds like a brand of pills you buy from the

like a brand of pills you buy from the

like a brand of pills you buy from the gas station that makes your heart

gas station that makes your heart

gas station that makes your heart explode. And I will say this does seem

explode. And I will say this does seem

explode. And I will say this does seem like a turning point for this

like a turning point for this

like a turning point for this administration on immigration. Polls

administration on immigration. Polls

administration on immigration. Polls show the majority of Americans do not

show the majority of Americans do not

show the majority of Americans do not approve of what's been happening and nor

approve of what's been happening and nor

approve of what's been happening and nor should they. Because for all Trump's

should they. Because for all Trump's

should they. Because for all Trump's talk of targeting the worst of the

talk of targeting the worst of the

talk of targeting the worst of the worst, that rings pretty hollow when you

worst, that rings pretty hollow when you

worst, that rings pretty hollow when you see agents doing things like dragging a

see agents doing things like dragging a

see agents doing things like dragging a US citizen out of his house in his

US citizen out of his house in his

US citizen out of his house in his underwear through the snow and taking a

underwear through the snow and taking a

underwear through the snow and taking a 5-year-old into custody. It is frankly

5-year-old into custody. It is frankly

5-year-old into custody. It is frankly no wonder anti- ice sentiment has spread

no wonder anti- ice sentiment has spread

no wonder anti- ice sentiment has spread to places that you might not even

to places that you might not even

to places that you might not even expect. from Poptarts the cat who posted

expect. from Poptarts the cat who posted

expect. from Poptarts the cat who posted video with ice on it to the

video with ice on it to the

video with ice on it to the subreddit Massive where users

subreddit Massive where users

subreddit Massive where users captions dickpicks with things like how

captions dickpicks with things like how

captions dickpicks with things like how hard I get when I think about abolishing

hard I get when I think about abolishing

hard I get when I think about abolishing ICE to an AEW match in Vegas earlier

ICE to an AEW match in Vegas earlier

ICE to an AEW match in Vegas earlier this month where this happened.

this month where this happened.

this month where this happened. >> Now the face in the eyes of the champion

>> Now the face in the eyes of the champion

>> Now the face in the eyes of the champion [cheering]

>> [cheering]

>> Excellent.

>> Excellent.

>> Excellent. Well done to everyone involved there

Well done to everyone involved there

Well done to everyone involved there from the crowds getting their point

from the crowds getting their point

from the crowds getting their point across in the perfect way to MJF going

across in the perfect way to MJF going

across in the perfect way to MJF going full Jim from the office into the

full Jim from the office into the

full Jim from the office into the camera. The point is, to the extent they

camera. The point is, to the extent they

camera. The point is, to the extent they ever had it, ICE and Border Patrol have

ever had it, ICE and Border Patrol have

ever had it, ICE and Border Patrol have clearly lost the public's trust. And it

clearly lost the public's trust. And it

clearly lost the public's trust. And it frankly hasn't helped to see grotesque

frankly hasn't helped to see grotesque

frankly hasn't helped to see grotesque clips like this one at Mara Lago on New

clips like this one at Mara Lago on New

clips like this one at Mara Lago on New Year's Eve of Christ dancing with Steven

Year's Eve of Christ dancing with Steven

Year's Eve of Christ dancing with Steven Miller. [music]

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music] >> Look, there is so much weird stuff going

>> Look, there is so much weird stuff going

>> Look, there is so much weird stuff going on in that clip that you probably didn't

on in that clip that you probably didn't

on in that clip that you probably didn't even notice the Ninja Turtle dancing

even notice the Ninja Turtle dancing

even notice the Ninja Turtle dancing with Vanilla Rice on stage there. HERE

with Vanilla Rice on stage there. HERE

with Vanilla Rice on stage there. HERE IS A BETTER angle of Michelangelo being

IS A BETTER angle of Michelangelo being

IS A BETTER angle of Michelangelo being photographed at the exact moment he

photographed at the exact moment he

photographed at the exact moment he SEEMS TO REALIZE JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE IN

SEEMS TO REALIZE JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE IN

SEEMS TO REALIZE JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THAT ROOM were mentioned in the Epstein

THAT ROOM were mentioned in the Epstein

THAT ROOM were mentioned in the Epstein fires.

fires.

fires. Now, I should say there have been some

Now, I should say there have been some

Now, I should say there have been some promising developments this week.

promising developments this week.

promising developments this week. Democratic leaders seem to have finally

Democratic leaders seem to have finally

Democratic leaders seem to have finally read the public's anger and are

read the public's anger and are

read the public's anger and are currently holding up funds for DHS as a

currently holding up funds for DHS as a

currently holding up funds for DHS as a whole as they push for new restrictions

whole as they push for new restrictions

whole as they push for new restrictions on immigration agents. And on Thursday,

on immigration agents. And on Thursday,

on immigration agents. And on Thursday, this happened tonight. Borders are Tom

this happened tonight. Borders are Tom

this happened tonight. Borders are Tom H. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home.

H. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home.

H. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Homeman says the

Home. Home. Home. Homeman says the

Home. Home. Home. Homeman says the massive immigration operation that's

massive immigration operation that's

massive immigration operation that's been going on for months in Minnesota,

been going on for months in Minnesota,

been going on for months in Minnesota, Operation Metro Surge, is coming to an

Operation Metro Surge, is coming to an

Operation Metro Surge, is coming to an end.

end.

end. >> We've had great success with this

>> We've had great success with this

>> We've had great success with this operation, and we're leaving Minnesota

operation, and we're leaving Minnesota

operation, and we're leaving Minnesota safer. There were some issues here, and

safer. There were some issues here, and

safer. There were some issues here, and we address those issues, but I'm not

we address those issues, but I'm not

we address those issues, but I'm not going to sit here and say anybody did

going to sit here and say anybody did

going to sit here and say anybody did anything wrong.

anything wrong.

anything wrong. >> Really? Well, first and least

>> Really? Well, first and least

>> Really? Well, first and least importantly, you are standing. Like,

importantly, you are standing. Like,

importantly, you are standing. Like, you're not going to sit there and say

you're not going to sit there and say

you're not going to sit there and say anything because you're a standing man.

anything because you're a standing man.

anything because you're a standing man. But I think it's pretty clear that a lot

But I think it's pretty clear that a lot

But I think it's pretty clear that a lot of people did a lot of things wrong, not

of people did a lot of things wrong, not

of people did a lot of things wrong, not least your Taylor. Because that suit

least your Taylor. Because that suit

least your Taylor. Because that suit looks like you bought it off the rack at

looks like you bought it off the rack at

looks like you bought it off the rack at fancy press conference clothes for

fancy press conference clothes for

fancy press conference clothes for uncarismatic business Shreks. And look,

uncarismatic business Shreks. And look,

uncarismatic business Shreks. And look, I am glad for any draw down that takes

I am glad for any draw down that takes

I am glad for any draw down that takes place in Minnesota if it indeed happens.

place in Minnesota if it indeed happens.

place in Minnesota if it indeed happens. But even if every agent leaves town,

But even if every agent leaves town,

But even if every agent leaves town, much larger problems are going to remain

much larger problems are going to remain

much larger problems are going to remain both there and on the national level

both there and on the national level

both there and on the national level because we are going to continue to see

because we are going to continue to see

because we are going to continue to see this administration obsessively pursue

this administration obsessively pursue

this administration obsessively pursue Steven Miller's stated goal of racking

Steven Miller's stated goal of racking

Steven Miller's stated goal of racking up 3,000 arrests a day. So given that,

up 3,000 arrests a day. So given that,

up 3,000 arrests a day. So given that, we thought for our first show of the

we thought for our first show of the

we thought for our first show of the year, it might be worth pulling back a

year, it might be worth pulling back a

year, it might be worth pulling back a bit and talking not just about

bit and talking not just about

bit and talking not just about Minneapolis or even just ICE, but about

Minneapolis or even just ICE, but about

Minneapolis or even just ICE, but about the massive agency it's a part of, the

the massive agency it's a part of, the

the massive agency it's a part of, the Department of Homeland Security. Because

Department of Homeland Security. Because

Department of Homeland Security. Because as you're about to see, a discuss about

as you're about to see, a discuss about

as you're about to see, a discuss about it, its funding, and the sweeping powers

it, its funding, and the sweeping powers

it, its funding, and the sweeping powers that we've given it is long overdue. So

that we've given it is long overdue. So

that we've given it is long overdue. So tonight, let's look at DHS. And let's

tonight, let's look at DHS. And let's

tonight, let's look at DHS. And let's start with its origins. Because while

start with its origins. Because while

start with its origins. Because while you might assume DHS is a long-standing

you might assume DHS is a long-standing

you might assume DHS is a long-standing part of American government, it's just

part of American government, it's just

part of American government, it's just 23 years old. It was founded as response

23 years old. It was founded as response

23 years old. It was founded as response to 9/11. And if you are too young to

to 9/11. And if you are too young to

to 9/11. And if you are too young to remember 911, and I will pause long

remember 911, and I will pause long

remember 911, and I will pause long enough for the rest of us to experience

enough for the rest of us to experience

enough for the rest of us to experience the psychic gut punch of that sentence.

the psychic gut punch of that sentence.

the psychic gut punch of that sentence. Very basically, in the immediate

Very basically, in the immediate

Very basically, in the immediate aftermath of the most devastating

aftermath of the most devastating

aftermath of the most devastating terrorist attack in its history, America

terrorist attack in its history, America

terrorist attack in its history, America started screaming and didn't really stop

started screaming and didn't really stop

started screaming and didn't really stop for a decade. And while thankfully, the

for a decade. And while thankfully, the

for a decade. And while thankfully, the Riad Comedy Festival has since healed

Riad Comedy Festival has since healed

Riad Comedy Festival has since healed the world through comedy. And we don't

the world through comedy. And we don't

the world through comedy. And we don't need to be worried about who or what was

need to be worried about who or what was

need to be worried about who or what was actually responsible for 9/11. At the

actually responsible for 9/11. At the

actually responsible for 9/11. At the time, a major concern was that prior to

time, a major concern was that prior to

time, a major concern was that prior to the attacks, there'd been a lack of

the attacks, there'd been a lack of

the attacks, there'd been a lack of communication and information sharing

communication and information sharing

communication and information sharing between federal agencies. So, the Bush

between federal agencies. So, the Bush

between federal agencies. So, the Bush administration agreed to combine a bunch

administration agreed to combine a bunch

administration agreed to combine a bunch of them under a single banner to improve

of them under a single banner to improve

of them under a single banner to improve coordination. But even back then, some

coordination. But even back then, some

coordination. But even back then, some felt that that was a bad idea to the

felt that that was a bad idea to the

felt that that was a bad idea to the point that it was openly discussed in

point that it was openly discussed in

point that it was openly discussed in news coverage.

news coverage.

news coverage. >> What do Secret Service agents have in

>> What do Secret Service agents have in

>> What do Secret Service agents have in common with animal disease researchers?

common with animal disease researchers?

common with animal disease researchers? Nothing. Except that in 3 months, both

Nothing. Except that in 3 months, both

Nothing. Except that in 3 months, both will be working for the new Homeland

will be working for the new Homeland

will be working for the new Homeland Security Department. An organizational

Security Department. An organizational

Security Department. An organizational chart they could give a management

chart they could give a management

chart they could give a management expert nightmares. 22 agencies, 170,000

expert nightmares. 22 agencies, 170,000

expert nightmares. 22 agencies, 170,000 workers, the third largest department in

workers, the third largest department in

workers, the third largest department in the government. Okay, first it is a

the government. Okay, first it is a

the government. Okay, first it is a little weird to introduce a government

little weird to introduce a government

little weird to introduce a government agency like it's a new sitcom. What

agency like it's a new sitcom. What

agency like it's a new sitcom. What happens when an uptight TSA agent and a

happens when an uptight TSA agent and a

happens when an uptight TSA agent and a laid-back FEMA official have to move in

laid-back FEMA official have to move in

laid-back FEMA official have to move in together? Find out in Homeland Security

together? Find out in Homeland Security

together? Find out in Homeland Security Thursdays on TBS.

Thursdays on TBS.

Thursdays on TBS. But the larger point there that this

But the larger point there that this

But the larger point there that this thing had been hastily cobbled together

thing had been hastily cobbled together

thing had been hastily cobbled together very much holds because all of a sudden

very much holds because all of a sudden

very much holds because all of a sudden DHS contained everything from the Secret

DHS contained everything from the Secret

DHS contained everything from the Secret Service to the Coast Guard to FEMA and

Service to the Coast Guard to FEMA and

Service to the Coast Guard to FEMA and TSA. But for everything that went in,

TSA. But for everything that went in,

TSA. But for everything that went in, some key counterterrorism agencies were

some key counterterrorism agencies were

some key counterterrorism agencies were left out because DHS had to operate

left out because DHS had to operate

left out because DHS had to operate without the investigative intelligence

without the investigative intelligence

without the investigative intelligence and military powers of the FBI, CIA, and

and military powers of the FBI, CIA, and

and military powers of the FBI, CIA, and the Pentagon. But don't worry, cuz

the Pentagon. But don't worry, cuz

the Pentagon. But don't worry, cuz remember, they had those pig

remember, they had those pig

remember, they had those pig researchers. So, they were pretty much

researchers. So, they were pretty much

researchers. So, they were pretty much set. Now, as a result, DHS tried to

set. Now, as a result, DHS tried to

set. Now, as a result, DHS tried to justify its existence in a number of

justify its existence in a number of

justify its existence in a number of different ways, including by explicitly

different ways, including by explicitly

different ways, including by explicitly linking immigration enforcement with

linking immigration enforcement with

linking immigration enforcement with countering terrorism. In fact, it was

countering terrorism. In fact, it was

countering terrorism. In fact, it was during the creation of DHS that parts of

during the creation of DHS that parts of

during the creation of DHS that parts of the immigr immigration and

the immigr immigration and

the immigr immigration and naturalization service and US customs

naturalization service and US customs

naturalization service and US customs service were combined to form Customs

service were combined to form Customs

service were combined to form Customs and Border Protection and ICE, the two

and Border Protection and ICE, the two

and Border Protection and ICE, the two agencies that we know and are being

agencies that we know and are being

agencies that we know and are being terrorized by today. But oversight of

terrorized by today. But oversight of

terrorized by today. But oversight of all of this was a total nightmare as the

all of this was a total nightmare as the

all of this was a total nightmare as the members of Congress that oversaw all of

members of Congress that oversaw all of

members of Congress that oversaw all of those agencies didn't want to give up

those agencies didn't want to give up

those agencies didn't want to give up control. So DHS found itself answering

control. So DHS found itself answering

control. So DHS found itself answering to around a 100 committees and

to around a 100 committees and

to around a 100 committees and subcommittees which as the chair of the

subcommittees which as the chair of the

subcommittees which as the chair of the 9/11 commission explained caused chaos.

9/11 commission explained caused chaos.

9/11 commission explained caused chaos. >> Think of having a 100 bosses. Think of

>> Think of having a 100 bosses. Think of

>> Think of having a 100 bosses. Think of reporting up this way and that way

reporting up this way and that way

reporting up this way and that way trying to do your job and yet you're

trying to do your job and yet you're

trying to do your job and yet you're reporting to 100 people. It's crazy

reporting to 100 people. It's crazy

reporting to 100 people. It's crazy because it makes no sense and and you

because it makes no sense and and you

because it makes no sense and and you could not do your job under those

could not do your job under those

could not do your job under those circumstances.

circumstances.

circumstances. >> Yeah, that does make sense. Having an

>> Yeah, that does make sense. Having an

>> Yeah, that does make sense. Having an endless cavalcade of rapidly changing

endless cavalcade of rapidly changing

endless cavalcade of rapidly changing bosses would clearly be a distraction.

bosses would clearly be a distraction.

bosses would clearly be a distraction. I've got to say, you do eventually get

I've got to say, you do eventually get

I've got to say, you do eventually get used to it. [cheering]

used to it. [cheering]

used to it. [cheering] I I don't even know which of these

I I don't even know which of these

I I don't even know which of these companies is going to be my new business

companies is going to be my new business

companies is going to be my new business daddy yet. It's like a mama mia

daddy yet. It's like a mama mia

daddy yet. It's like a mama mia situation, except less fun and way less

situation, except less fun and way less

situation, except less fun and way less sexy. But incidentally, if it is indeed

sexy. But incidentally, if it is indeed

sexy. But incidentally, if it is indeed Netflix, sorry for all the times I

Netflix, sorry for all the times I

Netflix, sorry for all the times I called your catalog a who's who of the

called your catalog a who's who of the

called your catalog a who's who of the is this? Love the ending of

is this? Love the ending of

is this? Love the ending of Stranger Things, by the way. Very brown.

Stranger Things, by the way. Very brown.

Stranger Things, by the way. Very brown. And good luck with Detective Hole. It

And good luck with Detective Hole. It

And good luck with Detective Hole. It sounds great. Now, complaints about the

sounds great. Now, complaints about the

sounds great. Now, complaints about the unwieldy nature of DHS persisted over

unwieldy nature of DHS persisted over

unwieldy nature of DHS persisted over the years. And yet, despite that, money

the years. And yet, despite that, money

the years. And yet, despite that, money kept flowing into it, even as it became

kept flowing into it, even as it became

kept flowing into it, even as it became known for things like its mass

known for things like its mass

known for things like its mass surveillance programs, particularly of

surveillance programs, particularly of

surveillance programs, particularly of American Muslims, and its widely mocked

American Muslims, and its widely mocked

American Muslims, and its widely mocked color-coded terrorism threat charts,

color-coded terrorism threat charts,

color-coded terrorism threat charts, which never dropped below yellow. It

which never dropped below yellow. It

which never dropped below yellow. It also became notorious for its

also became notorious for its

also became notorious for its willingness to distribute billions of

willingness to distribute billions of

willingness to distribute billions of dollars to state and local authorities.

dollars to state and local authorities.

dollars to state and local authorities. In fact, on the 10-year anniversary of

In fact, on the 10-year anniversary of

In fact, on the 10-year anniversary of 9/11, one California news station

9/11, one California news station

9/11, one California news station compiled just some of what that money

compiled just some of what that money

compiled just some of what that money had been wasted on.

had been wasted on.

had been wasted on. >> Marin County received more than $100,000

>> Marin County received more than $100,000

>> Marin County received more than $100,000 in surveillance equipment to protect its

in surveillance equipment to protect its

in surveillance equipment to protect its water treatment system from terrorist

water treatment system from terrorist

water treatment system from terrorist attack. Four years after the money was

attack. Four years after the money was

attack. Four years after the money was handed out, state authorities found

handed out, state authorities found

handed out, state authorities found $67,000

$67,000

$67,000 worth of gear still in boxes. It had

worth of gear still in boxes. It had

worth of gear still in boxes. It had never been used. Several counties and

never been used. Several counties and

never been used. Several counties and cities bought Segway scooters for their

cities bought Segway scooters for their

cities bought Segway scooters for their bomb squads. Each one cost $4,700.

bomb squads. Each one cost $4,700.

bomb squads. Each one cost $4,700. Okay, first I'm not sure anything says

Okay, first I'm not sure anything says

Okay, first I'm not sure anything says we have too much money more than buying

we have too much money more than buying

we have too much money more than buying a Segway. And second, that is

a Segway. And second, that is

a Segway. And second, that is just an unfathomably dorky look. It

just an unfathomably dorky look. It

just an unfathomably dorky look. It doesn't scream brave bomb diffuser as

doesn't scream brave bomb diffuser as

doesn't scream brave bomb diffuser as much as it does beekeeper mall cop.

much as it does beekeeper mall cop.

much as it does beekeeper mall cop. And with expenditures like that, it's no

And with expenditures like that, it's no

And with expenditures like that, it's no wonder that a 2015 report from a

wonder that a 2015 report from a

wonder that a 2015 report from a Republican senator found that despite

Republican senator found that despite

Republican senator found that despite spending over half a trillion dollars,

spending over half a trillion dollars,

spending over half a trillion dollars, DHS was not successfully executing any

DHS was not successfully executing any

DHS was not successfully executing any of its five main missions and its

of its five main missions and its

of its five main missions and its primary counterterrorism programs were

primary counterterrorism programs were

primary counterterrorism programs were yielding little value. But because no

yielding little value. But because no

yielding little value. But because no one in power back then wanted to break

one in power back then wanted to break

one in power back then wanted to break apart something that had Homeland

apart something that had Homeland

apart something that had Homeland Security in its name, DHS remained the

Security in its name, DHS remained the

Security in its name, DHS remained the largest federal law enforcement agency

largest federal law enforcement agency

largest federal law enforcement agency with massive funding, sweeping

with massive funding, sweeping

with massive funding, sweeping surveillance authority, and worryingly

surveillance authority, and worryingly

surveillance authority, and worryingly unclear checks on its own power. It was

unclear checks on its own power. It was

unclear checks on its own power. It was essentially a loaded weapon sitting on a

essentially a loaded weapon sitting on a

essentially a loaded weapon sitting on a president's desk in the Oval Office,

president's desk in the Oval Office,

president's desk in the Oval Office, only held back by their personal sense

only held back by their personal sense

only held back by their personal sense of temperance and restraint. All of

of temperance and restraint. All of

of temperance and restraint. All of which brings us back to this

which brings us back to this

which brings us back to this guy. Because in his first term, Trump

guy. Because in his first term, Trump

guy. Because in his first term, Trump and this sleep paralysis demon used DHS

and this sleep paralysis demon used DHS

and this sleep paralysis demon used DHS to push everything from his Muslim ban

to push everything from his Muslim ban

to push everything from his Muslim ban to family separation to his efforts to

to family separation to his efforts to

to family separation to his efforts to end darker. But from the very start of

end darker. But from the very start of

end darker. But from the very start of Trump's second term, it was clear they

Trump's second term, it was clear they

Trump's second term, it was clear they had much bigger plans for DHS. Starting

had much bigger plans for DHS. Starting

had much bigger plans for DHS. Starting with the fact Trump put one of his

with the fact Trump put one of his

with the fact Trump put one of his biggest allies, Christy Gnome, in charge

biggest allies, Christy Gnome, in charge

biggest allies, Christy Gnome, in charge of it. And even new stories about her

of it. And even new stories about her

of it. And even new stories about her announcement at the time contained some

announcement at the time contained some

announcement at the time contained some pretty clear hints that she was a bad

pretty clear hints that she was a bad

pretty clear hints that she was a bad choice. Tonight, President-elect Donald

choice. Tonight, President-elect Donald

choice. Tonight, President-elect Donald Trump expected to name one of his

Trump expected to name one of his

Trump expected to name one of his staunchest campaign supporters. Are you

staunchest campaign supporters. Are you

staunchest campaign supporters. Are you ready? South Dakota Governor Christy

ready? South Dakota Governor Christy

ready? South Dakota Governor Christy Gnome to lead the massive Department of

Gnome to lead the massive Department of

Gnome to lead the massive Department of Homeland Security. Trump once considered

Homeland Security. Trump once considered

Homeland Security. Trump once considered Gnome as a potential running mate, but

Gnome as a potential running mate, but

Gnome as a potential running mate, but her star dimmed after writing in her

her star dimmed after writing in her

her star dimmed after writing in her memoir that she had shot and killed the

memoir that she had shot and killed the

memoir that she had shot and killed the family dog.

family dog.

family dog. >> Yeah, not great. And even Trump, who has

>> Yeah, not great. And even Trump, who has

>> Yeah, not great. And even Trump, who has been endowed by Satan with an ability to

been endowed by Satan with an ability to

been endowed by Satan with an ability to survive any bad press whatsoever,

survive any bad press whatsoever,

survive any bad press whatsoever, somehow knew that picking a VP, who

somehow knew that picking a VP, who

somehow knew that picking a VP, who bragged about speed running Old Yeller,

bragged about speed running Old Yeller,

bragged about speed running Old Yeller, is a bad move. No one wants to share a

is a bad move. No one wants to share a

is a bad move. No one wants to share a ticket with John Wils wolf here. In

ticket with John Wils wolf here. In

ticket with John Wils wolf here. In fact, Trump was so turned off by Gnome's

fact, Trump was so turned off by Gnome's

fact, Trump was so turned off by Gnome's dog news, he apparently said to Don Jr.

dog news, he apparently said to Don Jr.

dog news, he apparently said to Don Jr. afterwards, "That's not good at all.

afterwards, "That's not good at all.

afterwards, "That's not good at all. Even you wouldn't kill a dog and you

Even you wouldn't kill a dog and you

Even you wouldn't kill a dog and you kill everything." [cheering]

kill everything." [cheering]

kill everything." [cheering] Just another brief window into a family

Just another brief window into a family

Just another brief window into a family dynamic that a skilled therapist would

dynamic that a skilled therapist would

dynamic that a skilled therapist would describe as cha-ching.

describe as cha-ching.

describe as cha-ching. And crucially, Gnome didn't bring a lot

And crucially, Gnome didn't bring a lot

And crucially, Gnome didn't bring a lot of nondog murdering experience to the

of nondog murdering experience to the

of nondog murdering experience to the job. She'd never worked in DHS or indeed

job. She'd never worked in DHS or indeed

job. She'd never worked in DHS or indeed law enforcement, but in a foreshadowing

law enforcement, but in a foreshadowing

law enforcement, but in a foreshadowing of things to come as governor of South

of things to come as governor of South

of things to come as governor of South Dakota, she was a relentless

Dakota, she was a relentless

Dakota, she was a relentless self-promoter. In As for Her State, she

self-promoter. In As for Her State, she

self-promoter. In As for Her State, she appeared in various job themed costumes,

appeared in various job themed costumes,

appeared in various job themed costumes, including a dentist, a nurse, an

including a dentist, a nurse, an

including a dentist, a nurse, an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a

electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a

electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker, selling each role

construction worker, selling each role

construction worker, selling each role with incredible charisma.

with incredible charisma.

with incredible charisma. >> South Dakota has the blueprint for

>> South Dakota has the blueprint for

>> South Dakota has the blueprint for success. Recently, we led the nation in

success. Recently, we led the nation in

success. Recently, we led the nation in new home building, but we're still

new home building, but we're still

new home building, but we're still growing so fast. We need to hire more

growing so fast. We need to hire more

growing so fast. We need to hire more builders to keep up. So, I'm pitching

builders to keep up. So, I'm pitching

builders to keep up. So, I'm pitching in. Look, I know her performance is

in. Look, I know her performance is

in. Look, I know her performance is pretty flat there, but in her defense,

pretty flat there, but in her defense,

pretty flat there, but in her defense, who's going to tell her that she can't

who's going to tell her that she can't

who's going to tell her that she can't act? Not anyone who likes their dog,

act? Not anyone who likes their dog,

act? Not anyone who likes their dog, that's for sure. Also, I'm in a bit of a

that's for sure. Also, I'm in a bit of a

that's for sure. Also, I'm in a bit of a tough spot here because I refuse to

tough spot here because I refuse to

tough spot here because I refuse to comment on a woman's looks. But one of

comment on a woman's looks. But one of

comment on a woman's looks. But one of my female writers has insisted that I

my female writers has insisted that I

my female writers has insisted that I read something that she's written, and I

read something that she's written, and I

read something that she's written, and I also refuse to silence women's voices.

also refuse to silence women's voices.

also refuse to silence women's voices. So given that [cheering]

So given that [cheering]

So given that [cheering] a ponytail for practical working

a ponytail for practical working

a ponytail for practical working purposes is intended to keep hair off

purposes is intended to keep hair off

purposes is intended to keep hair off the base of the neck and/or out of the

the base of the neck and/or out of the

the base of the neck and/or out of the eyes. If you leave the front part of

eyes. If you leave the front part of

eyes. If you leave the front part of your hair out and keep the bottom part

your hair out and keep the bottom part

your hair out and keep the bottom part of your hair down loosely around your

of your hair down loosely around your

of your hair down loosely around your shoulders, it's not a working ponytail,

shoulders, it's not a working ponytail,

shoulders, it's not a working ponytail, it's a hairdo. And John, please do make

it's a hairdo. And John, please do make

it's a hairdo. And John, please do make sure that you put that second hair in

sure that you put that second hair in

sure that you put that second hair in air quotes because there is just no way

air quotes because there is just no way

air quotes because there is just no way that Clydesdale tail is the real hair of

that Clydesdale tail is the real hair of

that Clydesdale tail is the real hair of that dog killer with A BAD FILLER.

that dog killer with A BAD FILLER.

that dog killer with A BAD FILLER. [cheering] HER WORDS, not mine. Her

[cheering] HER WORDS, not mine. Her

[cheering] HER WORDS, not mine. Her words

words

words believe women. [applause]

believe women. [applause]

believe women. [applause] And the thing is, no immediately brought

And the thing is, no immediately brought

And the thing is, no immediately brought to DHS that same unrelenting focus on

to DHS that same unrelenting focus on

to DHS that same unrelenting focus on PR. From shooting a video in the

PR. From shooting a video in the

PR. From shooting a video in the Salvador and Sakott prison while wearing

Salvador and Sakott prison while wearing

Salvador and Sakott prison while wearing a $50,000 Rolex to cosplaying as a law

a $50,000 Rolex to cosplaying as a law

a $50,000 Rolex to cosplaying as a law enforcement agent, from wearing a

enforcement agent, from wearing a

enforcement agent, from wearing a bulletproof vest on the streets of New

bulletproof vest on the streets of New

bulletproof vest on the streets of New York to putting on Coast Guard fatigues

York to putting on Coast Guard fatigues

York to putting on Coast Guard fatigues to dressing up like a border patrol

to dressing up like a border patrol

to dressing up like a border patrol agent on Fox News. And if it seems like

agent on Fox News. And if it seems like

agent on Fox News. And if it seems like she's got cameras with her wherever she

she's got cameras with her wherever she

she's got cameras with her wherever she goes, it's because she basically does.

goes, it's because she basically does.

goes, it's because she basically does. Here she is with a camera crew on the

Here she is with a camera crew on the

Here she is with a camera crew on the roof of an immigration detention

roof of an immigration detention

roof of an immigration detention facility outside of Chicago. And fun

facility outside of Chicago. And fun

facility outside of Chicago. And fun fact, these two men, Carl Frankovich and

fact, these two men, Carl Frankovich and

fact, these two men, Carl Frankovich and Juan Munoz, were protesting outside that

Juan Munoz, were protesting outside that

Juan Munoz, were protesting outside that day only to be arrested. And to hear

day only to be arrested. And to hear

day only to be arrested. And to hear them tell it, that seemed to have less

them tell it, that seemed to have less

them tell it, that seemed to have less to do with their actions and much more

to do with their actions and much more

to do with their actions and much more to do with the presence of Gnome and her

to do with the presence of Gnome and her

to do with the presence of Gnome and her social media crew.

social media crew.

social media crew. >> An agent grabbed me, threw me down. I

>> An agent grabbed me, threw me down. I

>> An agent grabbed me, threw me down. I was then zip tied and detained.

was then zip tied and detained.

was then zip tied and detained. >> I was pulled to the ground um and

>> I was pulled to the ground um and

>> I was pulled to the ground um and ordered arrested. It felt very much like

ordered arrested. It felt very much like

ordered arrested. It felt very much like we were just being used for this

we were just being used for this

we were just being used for this political theater. Christine Gnome was

political theater. Christine Gnome was

political theater. Christine Gnome was able to walk past us um surrounded by

able to walk past us um surrounded by

able to walk past us um surrounded by photographers, videographers,

photographers, videographers,

photographers, videographers, essentially just getting us in the

essentially just getting us in the

essentially just getting us in the background as she walked by.

background as she walked by.

background as she walked by. >> Then look what happened. Homeland

>> Then look what happened. Homeland

>> Then look what happened. Homeland Security sent out these social media

Security sent out these social media

Security sent out these social media posts showing Kyle in handcuffs. This

posts showing Kyle in handcuffs. This

posts showing Kyle in handcuffs. This one said, "We will not allow violent

one said, "We will not allow violent

one said, "We will not allow violent activists to lay hands on our law

activists to lay hands on our law

activists to lay hands on our law enforcement." And they also posted this

enforcement." And they also posted this

enforcement." And they also posted this government promotional video. And

government promotional video. And

government promotional video. And there's Kyle again. He and Munoz were

there's Kyle again. He and Munoz were

there's Kyle again. He and Munoz were never charged with any crime.

never charged with any crime.

never charged with any crime. >> That's true. Despite being labeled

>> That's true. Despite being labeled

>> That's true. Despite being labeled violent activists, they were never

violent activists, they were never

violent activists, they were never charged with anything. So, it seems they

charged with anything. So, it seems they

charged with anything. So, it seems they were arrested just for a photo op for

were arrested just for a photo op for

were arrested just for a photo op for Christy Gnome, which is, if I may quote

Christy Gnome, which is, if I may quote

Christy Gnome, which is, if I may quote her own dog's dying words, rough. BUT,

her own dog's dying words, rough. BUT,

her own dog's dying words, rough. BUT, BUT IT GOES WAY beyond optics. Gnome has

BUT IT GOES WAY beyond optics. Gnome has

BUT IT GOES WAY beyond optics. Gnome has been put in charge of DHS at a moment

been put in charge of DHS at a moment

been put in charge of DHS at a moment when it's experiencing an unprecedented

when it's experiencing an unprecedented

when it's experiencing an unprecedented funding surge. Trump's big, beautiful

funding surge. Trump's big, beautiful

funding surge. Trump's big, beautiful bill last summer essentially doubled

bill last summer essentially doubled

bill last summer essentially doubled DHS's funding over the next four years.

DHS's funding over the next four years.

DHS's funding over the next four years. And it's worth looking at where all of

And it's worth looking at where all of

And it's worth looking at where all of that money is and equally importantly

that money is and equally importantly

that money is and equally importantly isn't going because DHS's resources now

isn't going because DHS's resources now

isn't going because DHS's resources now being pointed at immigration more

being pointed at immigration more

being pointed at immigration more heavily than ever before to the point

heavily than ever before to the point

heavily than ever before to the point that it's been called a veritable

that it's been called a veritable

that it's been called a veritable department of deportation. ICE alone was

department of deportation. ICE alone was

department of deportation. ICE alone was handed an extra $75 billion to spend

handed an extra $75 billion to spend

handed an extra $75 billion to spend over Trump's term, tripling its annual

over Trump's term, tripling its annual

over Trump's term, tripling its annual budget and leading to this startling

budget and leading to this startling

budget and leading to this startling fact.

fact.

fact. >> Overnight it became the highest funded

>> Overnight it became the highest funded

>> Overnight it became the highest funded federal law enforcement agency in US

federal law enforcement agency in US

federal law enforcement agency in US [music] history. If ICE was a military,

[music] history. If ICE was a military,

[music] history. If ICE was a military, it would be the 17th richest in the

it would be the 17th richest in the

it would be the 17th richest in the world, [music] worth about the same as

world, [music] worth about the same as

world, [music] worth about the same as Canada's entire armed forces.

Canada's entire armed forces.

Canada's entire armed forces. >> It's true. And whatever the appropriate

>> It's true. And whatever the appropriate

>> It's true. And whatever the appropriate budget for ICE is, and they're making a

budget for ICE is, and they're making a

budget for ICE is, and they're making a pretty compelling argument for it being

pretty compelling argument for it being

pretty compelling argument for it being zero right now. One thing it should

zero right now. One thing it should

zero right now. One thing it should definitely not be is the same as the

definitely not be is the same as the

definitely not be is the same as the entire Canadian military. Though to be

entire Canadian military. Though to be

entire Canadian military. Though to be fair, that's not a perfect one to one,

fair, that's not a perfect one to one,

fair, that's not a perfect one to one, as I'm pretty sure the Canadian military

as I'm pretty sure the Canadian military

as I'm pretty sure the Canadian military doesn't totally eat on slightly

doesn't totally eat on slightly

doesn't totally eat on slightly slippery sidewalks. Now, a lot of that

slippery sidewalks. Now, a lot of that

slippery sidewalks. Now, a lot of that money is earmarked for immigration

money is earmarked for immigration

money is earmarked for immigration detention facilities, the conditions at

detention facilities, the conditions at

detention facilities, the conditions at which we have talked about before on

which we have talked about before on

which we have talked about before on this show, and which are unlikely to get

this show, and which are unlikely to get

this show, and which are unlikely to get better given ominous headlines like ICE

better given ominous headlines like ICE

better given ominous headlines like ICE begins buying mega warehouse detention

begins buying mega warehouse detention

begins buying mega warehouse detention centers across the US. But a lot is also

centers across the US. But a lot is also

centers across the US. But a lot is also going to hiring thousands of new ICE

going to hiring thousands of new ICE

going to hiring thousands of new ICE agents with DHS planning to spend a

agents with DHS planning to spend a

agents with DHS planning to spend a hundred million dollars over a one-year

hundred million dollars over a one-year

hundred million dollars over a one-year period just on advertising. It it's part

period just on advertising. It it's part

period just on advertising. It it's part of what it's called a wartime

of what it's called a wartime

of what it's called a wartime recruitment strategy. And those ads are

recruitment strategy. And those ads are

recruitment strategy. And those ads are everywhere.

everywhere.

everywhere. >> Slickly produced social media videos.

>> Slickly produced social media videos.

>> Slickly produced social media videos. >> Join ICE and [music] help us catch the

>> Join ICE and [music] help us catch the

>> Join ICE and [music] help us catch the worst of the worst.

worst of the worst.

worst of the worst. >> Televised ads targeting local police and

>> Televised ads targeting local police and

>> Televised ads targeting local police and a celebrity endorsement. These are all

a celebrity endorsement. These are all

a celebrity endorsement. These are all part of a major multi-million dollar

part of a major multi-million dollar

part of a major multi-million dollar recruitment campaign launched by the

recruitment campaign launched by the

recruitment campaign launched by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement

Immigration and Customs Enforcement

Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency. It shared images using wartime

Agency. It shared images using wartime

Agency. It shared images using wartime imagery like Uncle Sam and slang like in

imagery like Uncle Sam and slang like in

imagery like Uncle Sam and slang like in this post with the caption, quote, "Want

this post with the caption, quote, "Want

this post with the caption, quote, "Want to deport illegals with your absolute

to deport illegals with your absolute

to deport illegals with your absolute boys?" That's going to be on social

boys?" That's going to be on social

boys?" That's going to be on social media. It's going to be through

media. It's going to be through

media. It's going to be through streamers. So, YouTube and other places

streamers. So, YouTube and other places

streamers. So, YouTube and other places where user generated content is, but

where user generated content is, but

where user generated content is, but also largecale broadcast and streaming

also largecale broadcast and streaming

also largecale broadcast and streaming platforms like Hulu, HBO Max, Amazon

platforms like Hulu, HBO Max, Amazon

platforms like Hulu, HBO Max, Amazon Prime, all of this sort of thing.

Prime, all of this sort of thing.

Prime, all of this sort of thing. >> Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't love

>> Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't love

>> Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't love hearing my employer's name on that list.

hearing my employer's name on that list.

hearing my employer's name on that list. Though, I guess at least I do get a

Though, I guess at least I do get a

Though, I guess at least I do get a reminder of what the company's name is

reminder of what the company's name is

reminder of what the company's name is this year. It's it's also slightly

this year. It's it's also slightly

this year. It's it's also slightly satisfying to know that one place those

satisfying to know that one place those

satisfying to know that one place those ads have been running is in front of AEW

ads have been running is in front of AEW

ads have been running is in front of AEW wrestling, meaning that ICE is having to

wrestling, meaning that ICE is having to

wrestling, meaning that ICE is having to pay money to appear alongside this.

pay money to appear alongside this.

pay money to appear alongside this. [screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming] [cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering] >> It's still very good. Now, DHS claims

>> It's still very good. Now, DHS claims

>> It's still very good. Now, DHS claims those ads are working. They say they've

those ads are working. They say they've

those ads are working. They say they've hired 12,000 new ICE agents and officers

hired 12,000 new ICE agents and officers

hired 12,000 new ICE agents and officers since last summer. And while there are

since last summer. And while there are

since last summer. And while there are good reasons to believe those figures

good reasons to believe those figures

good reasons to believe those figures are inflated, we're still going to have

are inflated, we're still going to have

are inflated, we're still going to have a lot more ICE agents on our streets

a lot more ICE agents on our streets

a lot more ICE agents on our streets this year. And that should be a real

this year. And that should be a real

this year. And that should be a real concern, especially because to hire so

concern, especially because to hire so

concern, especially because to hire so many officers so quickly, they've had to

many officers so quickly, they've had to

many officers so quickly, they've had to significantly lower their standards for

significantly lower their standards for

significantly lower their standards for new recruits, doing things like waving

new recruits, doing things like waving

new recruits, doing things like waving age requirements, condensing the

age requirements, condensing the

age requirements, condensing the training period, and ending requirements

training period, and ending requirements

training period, and ending requirements like taking 5 weeks of Spanish language

like taking 5 weeks of Spanish language

like taking 5 weeks of Spanish language training, which is a bad idea for many

training, which is a bad idea for many

training, which is a bad idea for many reasons, including those agents now

reasons, including those agents now

reasons, including those agents now won't get to understand even a little

won't get to understand even a little

won't get to understand even a little bit of Bad Bunny's music, WHICH IS SAD

bit of Bad Bunny's music, WHICH IS SAD

bit of Bad Bunny's music, WHICH IS SAD FOR THEM. THEY'RE missing out on a lot

FOR THEM. THEY'RE missing out on a lot

FOR THEM. THEY'RE missing out on a lot of joy, plenty of political commentary,

of joy, plenty of political commentary,

of joy, plenty of political commentary, and a metric ton of

and a metric ton of

and a metric ton of DESCRIPTIONS. THERE IS A LOT in it's a

DESCRIPTIONS. THERE IS A LOT in it's a

DESCRIPTIONS. THERE IS A LOT in it's a rich text. [laughter]

rich text. [laughter]

rich text. [laughter] And the thing is, even with those lower

And the thing is, even with those lower

And the thing is, even with those lower standards, one report found that more

standards, one report found that more

standards, one report found that more than a third of new ICE recruits had

than a third of new ICE recruits had

than a third of new ICE recruits had failed a physical fitness test that

failed a physical fitness test that

failed a physical fitness test that required 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and

required 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and

required 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and running 1 and a half miles in 14

running 1 and a half miles in 14

running 1 and a half miles in 14 minutes, which, and I do not say this

minutes, which, and I do not say this

minutes, which, and I do not say this lightly, is a test even I could pass.

lightly, is a test even I could pass.

lightly, is a test even I could pass. Also, and more upsettingly, nearly half

Also, and more upsettingly, nearly half

Also, and more upsettingly, nearly half were later sent home because they

were later sent home because they

were later sent home because they couldn't pass the written exam, which

couldn't pass the written exam, which

couldn't pass the written exam, which covers things like when officers can and

covers things like when officers can and

covers things like when officers can and can't conduct searches and seizures. And

can't conduct searches and seizures. And

can't conduct searches and seizures. And it gets even worse when you learn that

it gets even worse when you learn that

it gets even worse when you learn that during that test, they were allowed to

during that test, they were allowed to

during that test, they were allowed to consult their textbook and notes. Yeah.

consult their textbook and notes. Yeah.

consult their textbook and notes. Yeah. Half of them failed an open book test.

Half of them failed an open book test.

Half of them failed an open book test. And as we all know, that is the easiest

And as we all know, that is the easiest

And as we all know, that is the easiest kind of test, even easier than urine.

kind of test, even easier than urine.

kind of test, even easier than urine. That one is actually harder than you

That one is actually harder than you

That one is actually harder than you think. Midstream is a delicate dance

think. Midstream is a delicate dance

think. Midstream is a delicate dance [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter] and as the former acting director of ICE

and as the former acting director of ICE

and as the former acting director of ICE points out this is all a very bad sign.

points out this is all a very bad sign.

points out this is all a very bad sign. >> Yeah. I mean look some of these moves

>> Yeah. I mean look some of these moves

>> Yeah. I mean look some of these moves frankly have resulted in some

frankly have resulted in some

frankly have resulted in some embarrassing candidates. ICE agents have

embarrassing candidates. ICE agents have

embarrassing candidates. ICE agents have tremendous authority when they're out

tremendous authority when they're out

tremendous authority when they're out there on the streets. We have to know

there on the streets. We have to know

there on the streets. We have to know that these people a have that integrity

that these people a have that integrity

that these people a have that integrity are going to when no one's looking are

are going to when no one's looking are

are going to when no one's looking are they going to do things the right way?

they going to do things the right way?

they going to do things the right way? And secondly you know they getting into

And secondly you know they getting into

And secondly you know they getting into this for the right reason. Obviously,

this for the right reason. Obviously,

this for the right reason. Obviously, there's a tremendous concern as well

there's a tremendous concern as well

there's a tremendous concern as well that the administration is going after

that the administration is going after

that the administration is going after individuals who harbor some animist

individuals who harbor some animist

individuals who harbor some animist towards immigrants,

towards immigrants,

towards immigrants, >> right? Because it doesn't seem unfair to

>> right? Because it doesn't seem unfair to

>> right? Because it doesn't seem unfair to assume that some might have applied for

assume that some might have applied for

assume that some might have applied for that job less out of a sense of public

that job less out of a sense of public

that job less out of a sense of public duty and more because they, oh, I don't

duty and more because they, oh, I don't

duty and more because they, oh, I don't know, want to deport illegals with their

know, want to deport illegals with their

know, want to deport illegals with their absolute boys. And that concern has been

absolute boys. And that concern has been

absolute boys. And that concern has been compounded by a disturbing pattern of

compounded by a disturbing pattern of

compounded by a disturbing pattern of what sure seems like white nationalist

what sure seems like white nationalist

what sure seems like white nationalist dog whistles in these recruiting ads.

dog whistles in these recruiting ads.

dog whistles in these recruiting ads. Like this post reading which way

Like this post reading which way

Like this post reading which way American man invoking a meme associated

American man invoking a meme associated

American man invoking a meme associated with this anti-semitic book popular

with this anti-semitic book popular

with this anti-semitic book popular among neo-Nazis. And this one using the

among neo-Nazis. And this one using the

among neo-Nazis. And this one using the phrase we'll have our home again. The

phrase we'll have our home again. The

phrase we'll have our home again. The title of a song released by a white

title of a song released by a white

title of a song released by a white nationalist band popular with farright

nationalist band popular with farright

nationalist band popular with farright groups like the Proud Boys. But if that

groups like the Proud Boys. But if that

groups like the Proud Boys. But if that connection seems at all like a stretch

connection seems at all like a stretch

connection seems at all like a stretch to you, you should know the Proud Boys

to you, you should know the Proud Boys

to you, you should know the Proud Boys themselves don't seem to think so.

themselves don't seem to think so.

themselves don't seem to think so. >> On the messaging app Telegram, one

>> On the messaging app Telegram, one

>> On the messaging app Telegram, one chapter reposted that ad next to a

chapter reposted that ad next to a

chapter reposted that ad next to a picture of a literal dog whistle, adding

picture of a literal dog whistle, adding

picture of a literal dog whistle, adding the line, "Message received."

the line, "Message received."

the line, "Message received." >> Oh, cool. Although, I do have to say the

>> Oh, cool. Although, I do have to say the

>> Oh, cool. Although, I do have to say the whole point of a dog whistle is

whole point of a dog whistle is

whole point of a dog whistle is plausible deniability. So, saying, "We

plausible deniability. So, saying, "We

plausible deniability. So, saying, "We hear and understand your dog whistle

hear and understand your dog whistle

hear and understand your dog whistle does sort of wreck the whole agreement."

does sort of wreck the whole agreement."

does sort of wreck the whole agreement." But I guess that is the risk that you

But I guess that is the risk that you

But I guess that is the risk that you run when your secret master plan has to

run when your secret master plan has to

run when your secret master plan has to rely on some of the dumbest people

rely on some of the dumbest people

rely on some of the dumbest people alive. Now, I have to tell you, we

alive. Now, I have to tell you, we

alive. Now, I have to tell you, we reached out to DHS for comment and they

reached out to DHS for comment and they

reached out to DHS for comment and they angrily denied any dog whistles, adding,

angrily denied any dog whistles, adding,

angrily denied any dog whistles, adding, "We will not apologize for using

"We will not apologize for using

"We will not apologize for using patriotic messaging and symbolism in our

patriotic messaging and symbolism in our

patriotic messaging and symbolism in our advertisements. They also told us, and I

advertisements. They also told us, and I

advertisements. They also told us, and I quote, "One could say we are Homeland

quote, "One could say we are Homeland

quote, "One could say we are Homeland Maxing by removing illegal aliens and

Maxing by removing illegal aliens and

Maxing by removing illegal aliens and defending our borders, a sentence I

defending our borders, a sentence I

defending our borders, a sentence I genuinely feel dumber for saying out

genuinely feel dumber for saying out

genuinely feel dumber for saying out loud."

loud."

loud." So that is where money and resources at

So that is where money and resources at

So that is where money and resources at DHS have been surging too. But the

DHS have been surging too. But the

DHS have been surging too. But the administration is also pulling resources

administration is also pulling resources

administration is also pulling resources away from other key parts of the agency.

away from other key parts of the agency.

away from other key parts of the agency. And let's start with just the

And let's start with just the

And let's start with just the reallocation of resources under ICE.

reallocation of resources under ICE.

reallocation of resources under ICE. Because for the record, before Trump

Because for the record, before Trump

Because for the record, before Trump came along, deportation was not ISIS's

came along, deportation was not ISIS's

came along, deportation was not ISIS's sole focus. It actually consisted of two

sole focus. It actually consisted of two

sole focus. It actually consisted of two branches. ero or enforcement and removal

branches. ero or enforcement and removal

branches. ero or enforcement and removal operations which handles detentions and

operations which handles detentions and

operations which handles detentions and deportations and homeland security

deportations and homeland security

deportations and homeland security investigations or HSI which is tasked

investigations or HSI which is tasked

investigations or HSI which is tasked with complex investigations into things

with complex investigations into things

with complex investigations into things like drug smuggling and human

like drug smuggling and human

like drug smuggling and human trafficking with many of their targets

trafficking with many of their targets

trafficking with many of their targets not even immigrants. Diddy's case, for

not even immigrants. Diddy's case, for

not even immigrants. Diddy's case, for instance, was run by HSI agents. And

instance, was run by HSI agents. And

instance, was run by HSI agents. And many HSI officials have long wanted to

many HSI officials have long wanted to

many HSI officials have long wanted to be formally separated from ICE. And for

be formally separated from ICE. And for

be formally separated from ICE. And for obvious reasons, if you need cooperation

obvious reasons, if you need cooperation

obvious reasons, if you need cooperation in a human trafficking investigation,

in a human trafficking investigation,

in a human trafficking investigation, it's harder to get it from someone who

it's harder to get it from someone who

it's harder to get it from someone who thinks that you might deport them. But

thinks that you might deport them. But

thinks that you might deport them. But in Trump's second term, he has gone hard

in Trump's second term, he has gone hard

in Trump's second term, he has gone hard in the other direction, signing an

in the other direction, signing an

in the other direction, signing an executive order on day one announcing

executive order on day one announcing

executive order on day one announcing enforcing immigration law would be the

enforcing immigration law would be the

enforcing immigration law would be the primary mission of HSI. And that has had

primary mission of HSI. And that has had

primary mission of HSI. And that has had real consequences as highly trained

real consequences as highly trained

real consequences as highly trained agents who specialized in things like

agents who specialized in things like

agents who specialized in things like money laundering and counterterrorism

money laundering and counterterrorism

money laundering and counterterrorism cases have now been sent to do things

cases have now been sent to do things

cases have now been sent to do things like pick up people in parking lots.

like pick up people in parking lots.

like pick up people in parking lots. Here is a guy in an HSI jacket arresting

Here is a guy in an HSI jacket arresting

Here is a guy in an HSI jacket arresting people at a Home Depot in LA last year.

people at a Home Depot in LA last year.

people at a Home Depot in LA last year. And that is not good because there's

And that is not good because there's

And that is not good because there's probably other important stuff he was

probably other important stuff he was

probably other important stuff he was supposed to be doing that day. In the

supposed to be doing that day. In the

supposed to be doing that day. In the first part of last year, HSI agents

first part of last year, HSI agents

first part of last year, HSI agents worked an average of 33% fewer hours on

worked an average of 33% fewer hours on

worked an average of 33% fewer hours on child exploitation. cases, which is just

child exploitation. cases, which is just

child exploitation. cases, which is just maddening. There is a reason of S for

maddening. There is a reason of S for

maddening. There is a reason of S for you don't involve them abandoning the

you don't involve them abandoning the

you don't involve them abandoning the case halfway through because they then

case halfway through because they then

case halfway through because they then have to go spend the rest of the episode

have to go spend the rest of the episode

have to go spend the rest of the episode harassing people outside of a

harassing people outside of a

harassing people outside of a Lowe's. People would riot.

Lowe's. People would riot.

Lowe's. People would riot. But it's not just reallocations within

But it's not just reallocations within

But it's not just reallocations within ICE. Not only have CBP agents been

ICE. Not only have CBP agents been

ICE. Not only have CBP agents been diverted from the border, they've pulled

diverted from the border, they've pulled

diverted from the border, they've pulled in law enforcement from outside of DHS.

in law enforcement from outside of DHS.

in law enforcement from outside of DHS. According to one estimate, last year,

According to one estimate, last year,

According to one estimate, last year, one in five US marshals, one in five FBI

one in five US marshals, one in five FBI

one in five US marshals, one in five FBI agents, half of DEA agents and over

agents, half of DEA agents and over

agents, half of DEA agents and over twothirds of ATF agents had been

twothirds of ATF agents had been

twothirds of ATF agents had been reassigned to help handle deportations.

reassigned to help handle deportations.

reassigned to help handle deportations. And look, I'm not saying everything

And look, I'm not saying everything

And look, I'm not saying everything those agencies were doing was a good use

those agencies were doing was a good use

those agencies were doing was a good use of their time. For more on that, see any

of their time. For more on that, see any

of their time. For more on that, see any number of episodes of this show. But it

number of episodes of this show. But it

number of episodes of this show. But it is notable that for all Trump's

is notable that for all Trump's

is notable that for all Trump's justification of immigration crackdowns

justification of immigration crackdowns

justification of immigration crackdowns to fight drugs and cartels. As this

to fight drugs and cartels. As this

to fight drugs and cartels. As this former DHS intelligence official points

former DHS intelligence official points

former DHS intelligence official points out, that's exactly what is being

out, that's exactly what is being

out, that's exactly what is being depprioritized.

depprioritized.

depprioritized. >> If FBI agents are not working on drug

>> If FBI agents are not working on drug

>> If FBI agents are not working on drug gang task forces, then there are fewer

gang task forces, then there are fewer

gang task forces, then there are fewer investigations into violent street gangs

investigations into violent street gangs

investigations into violent street gangs and drug trafficking cartels.

and drug trafficking cartels.

and drug trafficking cartels. >> And with such a large contingent pulled

>> And with such a large contingent pulled

>> And with such a large contingent pulled from their duties, he says drug cartels

from their duties, he says drug cartels

from their duties, he says drug cartels and bad actors are watching. I am 100%

and bad actors are watching. I am 100%

and bad actors are watching. I am 100% certain that they are tracking that

certain that they are tracking that

certain that they are tracking that federal agents are being moved out of

federal agents are being moved out of

federal agents are being moved out of drug task forces and seeking to

drug task forces and seeking to

drug task forces and seeking to determine ways to exploit the reduced

determine ways to exploit the reduced

determine ways to exploit the reduced resources on those task forces.

resources on those task forces.

resources on those task forces. >> Yeah, of course cartels are going to

>> Yeah, of course cartels are going to

>> Yeah, of course cartels are going to take advantage. Drug kingpins by and

take advantage. Drug kingpins by and

take advantage. Drug kingpins by and large aren't stupid. mostly because drug

large aren't stupid. mostly because drug

large aren't stupid. mostly because drug kingpins who are stupid tend to spend a

kingpins who are stupid tend to spend a

kingpins who are stupid tend to spend a very short time as kingpins and much

very short time as kingpins and much

very short time as kingpins and much longer as a suspicious mound of earth

longer as a suspicious mound of earth

longer as a suspicious mound of earth somewhere in the Mexican desert. It's

somewhere in the Mexican desert. It's

somewhere in the Mexican desert. It's kind of a self-editing field and I'm

kind of a self-editing field and I'm

kind of a self-editing field and I'm still not done listing misallocations of

still not done listing misallocations of

still not done listing misallocations of resources because at the same time that

resources because at the same time that

resources because at the same time that N has surged funding to some areas of

N has surged funding to some areas of

N has surged funding to some areas of DHS, she's actively starved others. For

DHS, she's actively starved others. For

DHS, she's actively starved others. For instance, CISA, which handles cyber

instance, CISA, which handles cyber

instance, CISA, which handles cyber security, lost roughly a thousand

security, lost roughly a thousand

security, lost roughly a thousand staffers, more than a third of the

staffers, more than a third of the

staffers, more than a third of the agency, meaning it is now less equipped

agency, meaning it is now less equipped

agency, meaning it is now less equipped to do things like protect our electrical

to do things like protect our electrical

to do things like protect our electrical grids or secure our elections. But maybe

grids or secure our elections. But maybe

grids or secure our elections. But maybe the biggest example of a department

the biggest example of a department

the biggest example of a department being hamstrung is FEMA. It is the

being hamstrung is FEMA. It is the

being hamstrung is FEMA. It is the agency that handles the federal response

agency that handles the federal response

agency that handles the federal response to disasters. Many believe it never

to disasters. Many believe it never

to disasters. Many believe it never really belonged in DHS in the first

really belonged in DHS in the first

really belonged in DHS in the first place, and that it's ending up there

place, and that it's ending up there

place, and that it's ending up there contributed to its failures during

contributed to its failures during

contributed to its failures during Hurricane Katrina. And if you're too

Hurricane Katrina. And if you're too

Hurricane Katrina. And if you're too young to remember Hurricane Katrina, I'm

young to remember Hurricane Katrina, I'm

young to remember Hurricane Katrina, I'm afraid you're just going to have to

afraid you're just going to have to

afraid you're just going to have to off. Suffice to say that FEMA did not

off. Suffice to say that FEMA did not

off. Suffice to say that FEMA did not have a good Katrina. Perhaps best summed

have a good Katrina. Perhaps best summed

have a good Katrina. Perhaps best summed up by this entirely fair question in

up by this entirely fair question in

up by this entirely fair question in front of a flood damaged apartment

front of a flood damaged apartment

front of a flood damaged apartment complex. Now, soon after Trump took

complex. Now, soon after Trump took

complex. Now, soon after Trump took office, FEMA lost about a third of its

office, FEMA lost about a third of its

office, FEMA lost about a third of its total full-time staff. And it's also

total full-time staff. And it's also

total full-time staff. And it's also been heavily impacted by a new rule

been heavily impacted by a new rule

been heavily impacted by a new rule across DHS which states that every

across DHS which states that every

across DHS which states that every contracting grant over $100,000 must now

contracting grant over $100,000 must now

contracting grant over $100,000 must now cross Gnome's desk for approval. Or to

cross Gnome's desk for approval. Or to

cross Gnome's desk for approval. Or to put that in terms that Christine can

put that in terms that Christine can

put that in terms that Christine can understand, two wristwatches. And that

understand, two wristwatches. And that

understand, two wristwatches. And that requirement is clearly absurd generally,

requirement is clearly absurd generally,

requirement is clearly absurd generally, but especially at FEMA, an agency that

but especially at FEMA, an agency that

but especially at FEMA, an agency that handles emergency relief that needs to

handles emergency relief that needs to

handles emergency relief that needs to get out quickly. At one point about $17

get out quickly. At one point about $17

get out quickly. At one point about $17 billion in federal disaster funds for

billion in federal disaster funds for

billion in federal disaster funds for states was held up for an extra layer of

states was held up for an extra layer of

states was held up for an extra layer of review by Gnome causing unusual delays

review by Gnome causing unusual delays

review by Gnome causing unusual delays in payments. And I'd say that I can't

in payments. And I'd say that I can't

in payments. And I'd say that I can't even imagine how chaotic that process

even imagine how chaotic that process

even imagine how chaotic that process must look. But luckily, I actually can

must look. But luckily, I actually can

must look. But luckily, I actually can because another of Gnome's South Dakota

because another of Gnome's South Dakota

because another of Gnome's South Dakota ads literally showed her as an

ads literally showed her as an

ads literally showed her as an overworked accountant with ticker tape

overworked accountant with ticker tape

overworked accountant with ticker tape all over the place, not exactly doing a

all over the place, not exactly doing a

all over the place, not exactly doing a great job. We have close to 20,000 open

great job. We have close to 20,000 open

great job. We have close to 20,000 open jobs, including accountants. So, I'm

jobs, including accountants. So, I'm

jobs, including accountants. So, I'm filling in

filling in

filling in >> South Dakota. Freedom works here.

>> South Dakota. Freedom works here.

>> South Dakota. Freedom works here. >> Governor Gnome, you didn't carry the

>> Governor Gnome, you didn't carry the

>> Governor Gnome, you didn't carry the two.

two.

two. >> Josh, kiss my abocus.

>> Josh, kiss my abocus.

>> Josh, kiss my abocus. >> Okay, it seems once more I find myself

>> Okay, it seems once more I find myself

>> Okay, it seems once more I find myself in a tough spot because again, I have

in a tough spot because again, I have

in a tough spot because again, I have been told to read something to

been told to read something to

been told to read something to [cheering] you and I don't feel like I

[cheering] you and I don't feel like I

[cheering] you and I don't feel like I can say no.

can say no.

can say no. The precise way for you to describe what

The precise way for you to describe what

The precise way for you to describe what Christine was actively chosen to look

Christine was actively chosen to look

Christine was actively chosen to look like there is mother of the bride who

like there is mother of the bride who

like there is mother of the bride who asked for the exact same hair as the

asked for the exact same hair as the

asked for the exact same hair as the bride. [laughter]

bride. [laughter]

bride. [laughter] Also, John, while I have your attention,

Also, John, while I have your attention,

Also, John, while I have your attention, maybe it's time for you to be putting a

maybe it's time for you to be putting a

maybe it's time for you to be putting a little gray in the eyebrow makeup.

little gray in the eyebrow makeup.

little gray in the eyebrow makeup. You're not fooling anyone. Let's be

You're not fooling anyone. Let's be

You're not fooling anyone. Let's be adults about this. Those are her words.

adults about this. Those are her words.

adults about this. Those are her words. She's brutally honest. Brutally honest.

She's brutally honest. Brutally honest.

She's brutally honest. Brutally honest. She's a bad person. The future is

She's a bad person. The future is

She's a bad person. The future is female. The thing is,

female. The thing is,

female. The thing is, known delaying funding approvals at FEMA

known delaying funding approvals at FEMA

known delaying funding approvals at FEMA has already had serious consequences

has already had serious consequences

has already had serious consequences when there were deadly floods in Texas

when there were deadly floods in Texas

when there were deadly floods in Texas last year, 2 days after nearly 2/3 of

last year, 2 days after nearly 2/3 of

last year, 2 days after nearly 2/3 of the calls to FEMA's disaster assistance

the calls to FEMA's disaster assistance

the calls to FEMA's disaster assistance line went unanswered. Now, I have to

line went unanswered. Now, I have to

line went unanswered. Now, I have to tell you, Nome's disputed that report,

tell you, Nome's disputed that report,

tell you, Nome's disputed that report, saying it's just false, and that report

saying it's just false, and that report

saying it's just false, and that report needs to be validified. Though, I

needs to be validified. Though, I

needs to be validified. Though, I believe that sentence itself could

believe that sentence itself could

believe that sentence itself could benefit from being spellch checkerated.

benefit from being spellch checkerated.

benefit from being spellch checkerated. And not for nothing, Gnome's $100,000

And not for nothing, Gnome's $100,000

And not for nothing, Gnome's $100,000 signoff law meant that according to one

signoff law meant that according to one

signoff law meant that according to one former FEMA official, the FEMA building

former FEMA official, the FEMA building

former FEMA official, the FEMA building itself almost had its utilities shut off

itself almost had its utilities shut off

itself almost had its utilities shut off last year because the bill wasn't paid.

last year because the bill wasn't paid.

last year because the bill wasn't paid. And the truth is, so far we've been

And the truth is, so far we've been

And the truth is, so far we've been incredibly lucky that there hasn't been

incredibly lucky that there hasn't been

incredibly lucky that there hasn't been an even worse disaster where FEMA's

an even worse disaster where FEMA's

an even worse disaster where FEMA's problems were more fully exposed. As

problems were more fully exposed. As

problems were more fully exposed. As last year, for the first time in a

last year, for the first time in a

last year, for the first time in a decade, not a single hurricane struck

decade, not a single hurricane struck

decade, not a single hurricane struck the US. But our luck can only hold out

the US. But our luck can only hold out

the US. But our luck can only hold out for so long. Last August, over 180 FEMA

for so long. Last August, over 180 FEMA

for so long. Last August, over 180 FEMA employees sent a letter to Congress

employees sent a letter to Congress

employees sent a letter to Congress warning the Trump officials actions were

warning the Trump officials actions were

warning the Trump officials actions were risking a Katrina level disaster, which

risking a Katrina level disaster, which

risking a Katrina level disaster, which is a pretty haunting thing to hear. And

is a pretty haunting thing to hear. And

is a pretty haunting thing to hear. And it's more than a little dispiriting to

it's more than a little dispiriting to

it's more than a little dispiriting to realize that the Frankenstein of an

realize that the Frankenstein of an

realize that the Frankenstein of an agency that we cobbled together after

agency that we cobbled together after

agency that we cobbled together after 911 is now siphoning resources away from

911 is now siphoning resources away from

911 is now siphoning resources away from things that actually protect us. Even as

things that actually protect us. Even as

things that actually protect us. Even as it floods resources to a bunch of guys

it floods resources to a bunch of guys

it floods resources to a bunch of guys in ski masks with questionable Reddit

in ski masks with questionable Reddit

in ski masks with questionable Reddit histories who blast rap rock out of the

histories who blast rap rock out of the

histories who blast rap rock out of the window of their government issued kidnap

window of their government issued kidnap

window of their government issued kidnap mobilebiles all for the benefit of

mobilebiles all for the benefit of

mobilebiles all for the benefit of Christy Gnome's Tik Tok. So what

Christy Gnome's Tik Tok. So what

Christy Gnome's Tik Tok. So what can we do? Well, first and most

can we do? Well, first and most

can we do? Well, first and most immediately, with DHS impartial shutdown

immediately, with DHS impartial shutdown

immediately, with DHS impartial shutdown over its funding, Democrats have to use

over its funding, Democrats have to use

over its funding, Democrats have to use every ounce of leverage they've got to

every ounce of leverage they've got to

every ounce of leverage they've got to get major concessions. Bernie Sanders

get major concessions. Bernie Sanders

get major concessions. Bernie Sanders has proposed an amendment that would

has proposed an amendment that would

has proposed an amendment that would repeal the $75 billion in additional

repeal the $75 billion in additional

repeal the $75 billion in additional funding that ICE received. And what I

funding that ICE received. And what I

funding that ICE received. And what I don't know if [cheering] they'll be able

don't know if [cheering] they'll be able

don't know if [cheering] they'll be able to get all the way to that, they should

to get all the way to that, they should

to get all the way to that, they should at the very least get as many hard

at the very least get as many hard

at the very least get as many hard enforceable limits on immigration agents

enforceable limits on immigration agents

enforceable limits on immigration agents activities as possible. Now, second, we

activities as possible. Now, second, we

activities as possible. Now, second, we need to get rid of ICE. PERIOD. PUBLIC

need to get rid of ICE. PERIOD. PUBLIC

need to get rid of ICE. PERIOD. PUBLIC TRUST IN IT RIGHT NOW [cheering] IS

TRUST IN IT RIGHT NOW [cheering] IS

TRUST IN IT RIGHT NOW [cheering] IS HOVERING somewhere between Purdue farmer

HOVERING somewhere between Purdue farmer

HOVERING somewhere between Purdue farmer and the Titan submersible. It is just

and the Titan submersible. It is just

and the Titan submersible. It is just not salvageable. And if you're thinking,

not salvageable. And if you're thinking,

not salvageable. And if you're thinking, well, who will enforce immigration law

well, who will enforce immigration law

well, who will enforce immigration law if ICE is gone? I know maybe the

if ICE is gone? I know maybe the

if ICE is gone? I know maybe the agencies that did it for decades before

agencies that did it for decades before

agencies that did it for decades before 2003. As for DHS as a whole, I would

2003. As for DHS as a whole, I would

2003. As for DHS as a whole, I would argue it's no longer tenable in its

argue it's no longer tenable in its

argue it's no longer tenable in its current form. And while maybe there is

current form. And while maybe there is

current form. And while maybe there is an argument for having a larger agency

an argument for having a larger agency

an argument for having a larger agency coordinating different federal

coordinating different federal

coordinating different federal departments, it should probably be

departments, it should probably be

departments, it should probably be redesigned from the ground up and

redesigned from the ground up and

redesigned from the ground up and deliberately this time, not by suddenly

deliberately this time, not by suddenly

deliberately this time, not by suddenly gluing together or charts in a blind

gluing together or charts in a blind

gluing together or charts in a blind panic. But if I can make one last

panic. But if I can make one last

panic. But if I can make one last broader point here, cosmetic changes

broader point here, cosmetic changes

broader point here, cosmetic changes just aren't going to be enough. Because

just aren't going to be enough. Because

just aren't going to be enough. Because even if you get rid of Christine Gnome,

even if you get rid of Christine Gnome,

even if you get rid of Christine Gnome, which you should, Steven Miller will

which you should, Steven Miller will

which you should, Steven Miller will still be there. And even if you get rid

still be there. And even if you get rid

still be there. And even if you get rid of him, this administration will remain.

of him, this administration will remain.

of him, this administration will remain. Even if they are gone and we get rid of

Even if they are gone and we get rid of

Even if they are gone and we get rid of ICE and DHS, we're still going to be

ICE and DHS, we're still going to be

ICE and DHS, we're still going to be left with the broken immigration laws

left with the broken immigration laws

left with the broken immigration laws that gave them permission to do what

that gave them permission to do what

that gave them permission to do what they have done. Millions of people will

they have done. Millions of people will

they have done. Millions of people will continue to be vulnerable because, as

continue to be vulnerable because, as

continue to be vulnerable because, as we've discussed repeatedly before on

we've discussed repeatedly before on

we've discussed repeatedly before on this show, our current immigration

this show, our current immigration

this show, our current immigration system makes it somewhere from difficult

system makes it somewhere from difficult

system makes it somewhere from difficult to impossible for many to come in the

to impossible for many to come in the

to impossible for many to come in the right way. That boy in the blue hat and

right way. That boy in the blue hat and

right way. That boy in the blue hat and his dad were scooped up despite being in

his dad were scooped up despite being in

his dad were scooped up despite being in the process of seeking asylum. And we've

the process of seeking asylum. And we've

the process of seeking asylum. And we've shown you multiple videos of people

shown you multiple videos of people

shown you multiple videos of people being arrested as they showed up for

being arrested as they showed up for

being arrested as they showed up for their immigration appointments. And that

their immigration appointments. And that

their immigration appointments. And that is actually a bit of a tell because that

is actually a bit of a tell because that

is actually a bit of a tell because that is clearly not this administration

is clearly not this administration

is clearly not this administration targeting the worst of the worst. It's

targeting the worst of the worst. It's

targeting the worst of the worst. It's them desperately trying to juice up

them desperately trying to juice up

them desperately trying to juice up their numbers. And it is the law that

their numbers. And it is the law that

their numbers. And it is the law that allows them to do that. And that is

allows them to do that. And that is

allows them to do that. And that is actually something that Tom Hman made a

actually something that Tom Hman made a

actually something that Tom Hman made a point of reiterating to people when he

point of reiterating to people when he

point of reiterating to people when he was first sent to Minnesota two weeks

was first sent to Minnesota two weeks

was first sent to Minnesota two weeks ago. For the people out there don't like

ago. For the people out there don't like

ago. For the people out there don't like what ISC is doing, if you want certain

what ISC is doing, if you want certain

what ISC is doing, if you want certain laws reformed, then take it up with

laws reformed, then take it up with

laws reformed, then take it up with Congress. Again, ISIS is making this up.

Congress. Again, ISIS is making this up.

Congress. Again, ISIS is making this up. They're enforcing laws enacted by

They're enforcing laws enacted by

They're enforcing laws enacted by Congress and P signed by president. The

Congress and P signed by president. The

Congress and P signed by president. The same laws have been on the books

same laws have been on the books

same laws have been on the books for the last six presidents I work for.

for the last six presidents I work for.

for the last six presidents I work for. If you don't like what ISIS is doing,

If you don't like what ISIS is doing,

If you don't like what ISIS is doing, instead of protesting this building, go

instead of protesting this building, go

instead of protesting this building, go pro to protest Congress. Tell me what

pro to protest Congress. Tell me what

pro to protest Congress. Tell me what changes.

changes.

changes. >> Well, hold on there, Tom. Why just one

>> Well, hold on there, Tom. Why just one

>> Well, hold on there, Tom. Why just one or the other? People could absolutely do

or the other? People could absolutely do

or the other? People could absolutely do both. Porqu no loss dos if I may quote a

both. Porqu no loss dos if I may quote a

both. Porqu no loss dos if I may quote a phrase. It [cheering] seems most new ICE

phrase. It [cheering] seems most new ICE

phrase. It [cheering] seems most new ICE recruits will have absolutely no chance

recruits will have absolutely no chance

recruits will have absolutely no chance of understanding.

of understanding.

of understanding. But he is right there. Trump's policy of

But he is right there. Trump's policy of

But he is right there. Trump's policy of mass deportations is built on existing

mass deportations is built on existing

mass deportations is built on existing laws. And if America doesn't like what

laws. And if America doesn't like what

laws. And if America doesn't like what that policy looks like now that they've

that policy looks like now that they've

that policy looks like now that they've seen what it really means, then it needs

seen what it really means, then it needs

seen what it really means, then it needs to do something about it. To the

to do something about it. To the

to do something about it. To the extent that we are all horrified by day

extent that we are all horrified by day

extent that we are all horrified by day labors and grandfathers and little kids

labors and grandfathers and little kids

labors and grandfathers and little kids in bunny hats being terrorized by men in

in bunny hats being terrorized by men in

in bunny hats being terrorized by men in March, then we need to elect people who

March, then we need to elect people who

March, then we need to elect people who will commit to writing laws that reflect

will commit to writing laws that reflect

will commit to writing laws that reflect that. And I've got to say, it does say

that. And I've got to say, it does say

that. And I've got to say, it does say something that to the extent that anyone

something that to the extent that anyone

something that to the extent that anyone over the last few months has been

over the last few months has been

over the last few months has been protecting our homeland and keeping it

protecting our homeland and keeping it

protecting our homeland and keeping it secure, it has not been Christy Gnome in

secure, it has not been Christy Gnome in

secure, it has not been Christy Gnome in her wide array of fun outfits or

her wide array of fun outfits or

her wide array of fun outfits or whichever 20-year-old been

whichever 20-year-old been

whichever 20-year-old been pumping out Nazi flavored content on

pumping out Nazi flavored content on

pumping out Nazi flavored content on Twitter. It has been ordinary people on

Twitter. It has been ordinary people on

Twitter. It has been ordinary people on the streets of Minneapolis blowing

the streets of Minneapolis blowing

the streets of Minneapolis blowing whistles, delivering food to friends

whistles, delivering food to friends

whistles, delivering food to friends [cheering and applause] who are afraid

[cheering and applause] who are afraid

[cheering and applause] who are afraid to leave their houses and marching in

to leave their houses and marching in

to leave their houses and marching in the cold even though they've got godamn

the cold even though they've got godamn

the cold even though they've got godamn work in the morning because if I may

work in the morning because if I may

work in the morning because if I may quote that gloriously frozen Midwestern

quote that gloriously frozen Midwestern

quote that gloriously frozen Midwestern man, they believe we are all human

man, they believe we are all human

man, they believe we are all human beings here and that this is

beings here and that this is

beings here and that this is wrong. And now [cheering]

wrong. And now [cheering]

wrong. And now [cheering] this.

this.

this. >> And now, local news reacts to a Florida

>> And now, local news reacts to a Florida

>> And now, local news reacts to a Florida delicacy.

delicacy.

delicacy. >> Welcome back. Recent freezing weather in

>> Welcome back. Recent freezing weather in

>> Welcome back. Recent freezing weather in South Florida left thousands of iguanas

South Florida left thousands of iguanas

South Florida left thousands of iguanas cold stunned and some people have gotten

cold stunned and some people have gotten

cold stunned and some people have gotten creative about what to do with all the

creative about what to do with all the

creative about what to do with all the invasive lizards. Fair warning, take a

invasive lizards. Fair warning, take a

invasive lizards. Fair warning, take a break from breakfast for just a minute.

break from breakfast for just a minute.

break from breakfast for just a minute. >> Iguana meat pizza. Were the iguanas

>> Iguana meat pizza. Were the iguanas

>> Iguana meat pizza. Were the iguanas already dead or were they dying? They

already dead or were they dying? They

already dead or were they dying? They were already dead. I believe

were already dead. I believe

were already dead. I believe they're stunned.

they're stunned.

they're stunned. >> So they use the leg.

>> So they use the leg.

>> So they use the leg. >> They're still alive.

>> They're still alive.

>> They're still alive. >> Would they normally

>> Would they normally

>> Would they normally >> Well, you can't eat like a dead animal.

>> Well, you can't eat like a dead animal.

>> Well, you can't eat like a dead animal. >> No.

>> No.

>> No. >> Cuz that that's like a like So they're

>> Cuz that that's like a like So they're

>> Cuz that that's like a like So they're killing them.

killing them.

killing them. >> Mhm. And they're eating them.

>> Mhm. And they're eating them.

>> Mhm. And they're eating them. >> Mhm.

>> Mhm.

>> Mhm. >> That's legal.

>> That's legal.

>> That's legal. >> I Yes.

>> I Yes.

>> I Yes. >> Sanitized iguana meat.

>> Sanitized iguana meat.

>> Sanitized iguana meat. >> The fact that you [music] have to

>> The fact that you [music] have to

>> The fact that you [music] have to identify that it has been sanitized.

identify that it has been sanitized.

identify that it has been sanitized. This ain't dirty iguana meat. This is

This ain't dirty iguana meat. This is

This ain't dirty iguana meat. This is sanitized iguana meat.

sanitized iguana meat.

sanitized iguana meat. >> You missed the iguana pizza yesterday.

>> You missed the iguana pizza yesterday.

>> You missed the iguana pizza yesterday. Excuse me. One more time.

Excuse me. One more time.

Excuse me. One more time. >> Yes. The iguana pizza.

>> Yes. The iguana pizza.

>> Yes. The iguana pizza. >> Iguana pizza. Mhm. Why?

>> That's our show. Thanks so much for

>> That's our show. Thanks so much for

>> That's our show. Thanks so much for watching. We'll see you next week. Good

watching. We'll see you next week. Good

watching. We'll see you next week. Good night. [cheering]

night. [cheering]

night. [cheering] [music]

>> [music]